Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. And this is our quick, sharp, down and dirty episode where we answer your burning questions.
This is ask gun cut. I nailed it, Brittany.
I'm Brittany and I'm Laura.
We've had to do that intro a couple of times.
Look, this is our very first ask gun cut back after a break and we're a little bit dusty, but I cannot tell you how many questions we have received over the last couple of weeks.
It is wildly insane.
But we've picked out three for you today because we need to keep this episode short and shut.
I also love the excuse of like, sorry, guys, we had a break. We had one week.
Yeah, we had a week. My brain doesn't work anymore. But here we are.
Before we get into it, we just want to say we had such an amazing response from our episode this week with David the Medium You guys, so many of you wrote in to let us know how you felt about the episode, and I just want to say we really love that.
We love getting the feedback.
On what you're loving and what makes you tick, because that's the content we want to give you. So we weren't sure how that episode was going to go. We knew that we loved recording it. We had so much fun and it was something really different for us, but we weren't sure how it would land with you guys because it is different to what we usually do. So we love getting your feedback and so many of you have said it was one of your favorite episodes, which is mind blowing totally.
I was a bit worried, like I was like, maybe this is a bit self indulgent to sit down and do a psychic reading and then expect anybody else will follow it.
Interesting. I was like, are we there already? Are we that into ourselves?
But yeah, look, I cannot tell you the amount of people who sent us pictures being like, holy shit, I have goosebumps, and then sent us photos of their goosebumps. I have a lot of photos of legs and arms in my box at the moment, which.
I really appreciate. So we're really glad that you guys enjoyed it.
One girl wrote in actually yesterday, which I thought this was really funny.
She's like, what the fuck does this mean?
I was on a coastal walk yesterday as she walked past me.
I didn't know this. She just messaged me.
As she walked past me, she was like, I walk past you, and I was like, how weird. I'm listening to Britney's podcast and she just walked past me. And then as she got to the other side of me the pod, something happened and her podcast stopped playing. And she looked down and from where it had stopped playing, guess what the timer.
Was eleven eleven.
Yeah, it was like one, one one. But then she was like what, well she screenshot it. She's like, this is you're here.
I'm listening to your podcast on angel numbers when the podcast stops on one, one one, and I got goosebumps. Now I'm such a sucker for goosebumps, but this is gonna blow your mind even more.
And I told you this.
I finished editing that episode and had uploaded it, and the exact time was when I was like, cool, I'm done, I'm going to bed, and I looked at my clock was eleven eleven and I was like, okay, Papa, I get I get it.
Oh, look at my arms. But I'm skeptic.
Everybody not anymore. You're not well.
Anyway, we did also kind of preview and give you guys a little taste in the last episode. But I just wanted to remind you as well. We have just done such an incredible interview with a woman named India Oxenburg. The reason why I'm reminding you of this is because she is the star of a docu series which is on stan at the moment named Seduced and Seduced is all about this cult which happened in the United States called Nixium, led by a guy named Keith Rinieri. It
is such a fucking good documentary. I really really really recommend you guys watching it. I think it's four episodes, but it follows this really really harrowing but also quite empowering story around a sex cult in the United States. And the thing that's so interesting about it is that there's a lot of celebrities who are involved in this cult.
There are a lot of high powered people who weren't necessarily involved in the whole sex cult part of it, but they were definitely heavily involved and also misled in the self help part of this cult, which was active until twenty nineteen, so it's really really recent. It's still going through the courts at the moment, and we got to sit down with India, who was hugely affected by this cult, and she tells her story and honestly, it is one of the most mind blowing interviews that we've
ever done. But I really just hope that some of you guys find the time, if you haven't already watched the documentary, to go and watch it so that you have all the background information and you can really sink your teeth into that episode, because it's going to be fucking great.
I think the fact that.
It's only a four part docuseries as well, it means it's really accessible and it's easy for you to sit down and watch. You could watch it in a day if you wanted to, And I think you'll enjoy the interview more and you'll get more out of it if you do. But for me, I don't know if I've ever spoken about this or I don't think we have. But I am a true crime fiend. Like I am obsessed with true crime. It's all I've watched growing up. I'm talking from a little kid, and.
Then here you are with a Relationship and Love podcast.
I know I'm a sick I'm sick for it.
I used to watch it as a child, and all I ever wanted to do when I grow up was be a criminal psychologist. Like I was so interested in getting into the minds of these people until I look that there were like literally four jobs in the world for criminal psychologists, Like there's no work in it, So obviously it went down a health path. But I'm obsessed
with that kind of stuff. So when I watched this documentary, I was so pulled in when Laura said she'd managed to make contact with India and that she was keen to come on the podcast because India hasn't done any other Australian podcasts, which we were really excited about because watching one of these series and being so enthralled and then getting the opportunity to actually sit down with someone that lived this experience for seven years for me was
like almost like a bucket list to actually speak to someone that went through it.
And she's such a wonderful, empowering and like normal woman. I think that that's the thing, Like you think of something like a sex cult or a cult at all, and you think, how could someone ever get themselves tied up in that They must be such a crazy person. But she's so normal, she's so wonderful to speak to, she's so warm.
Yeah.
So that's my little plug again. If you guys haven't seen it, it's on stand. It's called Seduced and it's all about the cult Nexium. Anyway, let's talk about this episode. So we've picked out three questions for you guys. Thank you to everybody who's been writing questions. Like I said, we've received so many. We've picked out three really different ones today just to kind of kick back into twenty twenty one.
I have one that I found really interesting.
Help.
I love when I actually read the whole thing word for it.
I love it when you usually started with like, hey guys.
Love your podcast. Help.
I recently met this guy at the gym and we've been having light conversation each time I see him there.
I was super attracted to him.
Until I realized there is an eleven year age gap between us. I'm twenty two and he's thirty two or thirty three. I've been through some major events in my life and I'm over the games that younger guys tend to play, so I am looking for someone more mature. However, Ever, since I've found out this guy's age.
I kind of feel.
Strange and like something's wrong. I don't know whether to give it a chance and accept his request for a date, or just put the fire out before it even starts.
PS.
I have tried everything to find his social media to see if I can get a bit more info on him and what he's about, but I think he's just one of those guys who doesn't use it. AKA, I just can't find anything.
Well. I will never be in the FBI.
Okay, So I have mixed feelings about age gaps, and I actually think we should do a whole episode on age gaps. I think it's a really interesting conversation.
Because I think it's interesting too.
There's a lot to unpack, and I don't think we're going to get it all done in an ask on card. I think I think it's silly to dismiss and say, oh, age doesn't matter at all, because there are circumstances where age does matter. There's circumstances where someone who's in their thirties wants different things to someone in their twenties, and
there's you know, different life experiences. There's also different situations where like maybe someone in their thirties has kids, maybe they have more baggage, maybe they have you know, a whole past that then someone in their twenties has to take on. So there's there can be a lot more responsibility that goes hand in hand with dating someone who
is substantially older. That said, there also can be no difference because I know a fucking shit ton of thirty year olds who act like they're twenty and who are in exactly the same headspace and life space as what a twenty year old is. So I do you think
it's a very dependent case to case. But what this sounds like to me is that this person has just caught the ick and that they don't normally go for a guy who's ten or eleven years older than them, and so that makes them feel a bit like, oh, well I liked him, but I don't anymore because of age.
I agree with you, he's an agist. Yeah, you're an agist. No, I agree with you on everything you said, Laura, But I'm not against age gaps whatsoever.
Britain loves dating twenty two year old boys. It's all about sugarmumbu.
Wait to throw me out of the bus.
No, I do remember meet Raffle. I'm pretty sure he was like fifteen years younger.
Than Britainly well, I picked him up from school, so no, I'm throwing myself onto the bus.
He was not twenty two, but it was a significantly younger.
Yeah, it was close if.
You round it up.
No, I don't think I genuinely do not think there is a problem with age apps either way, with a woman dating someone older or with a woman dating someone younger. If the people are compatible and if you're on the same path, if you have the same banter, if you have the same morals, if you want the same things, if you don't ultimately notice that there's an age difference, I don't see why there's a problem.
The problems come.
When you're on different wavelengths and you're wanting different things. If the woman is older and she wants kids and the guy's younger, then like that's going to cause problems.
But in this I mean, and it doesn't have to necessarily be the female being older wanting kids. Like, there's plenty of situations where the men are older and they want kids and they want to settle down, and they're dating twenty year olds who are not ready for.
That yet in their lives exactly.
And I think in this situation, my advice to you would be, how did.
You feel before you knew his age?
Because it sounds like you had a crush on him, and it sounds like you're really enjoying seeing him at the gym and you're enjoying your banter and.
You're enjoying getting to know him.
If the problem, the only problem has come, is that there is an age difference, I personally would still recommend that you go on the date because he could very well be an amazing human that isn't ready to settle down yet, and he could be a you don't know, he's not a soulmate. You could go on the date also and you could be like WHOA, Like we're on different paths. I'm so glad I did this because now I know. But that's what dating is as well. I don't think you need to put so much pressure on
it now. And I think this is also what women and men due to an extent, probably more women if I'm being honest and I'm not sexist, but as what we do, we tend to overthink things instead of just letting it play out and seeing what happens. I think there is zero harm in this situation. You had those feelings before you knew his age. Go on a date with him. Just make it like a casual date. Go to lunch, or go to the beach.
Or just specially and go on a walking date.
Do some exercise.
I mean, you're both gym junkies, so why don't you go on a high for sure? Why not just be like, you know what, fuck it, let's let's go and have some fun. And worst case scenario, like, and this is how I make all my decisions. I say to myself, Brittany, what is the worst thing that could happen?
Go on your date?
Worst case scenario, you don't hit it off, you don't feel it, you're on different ways of lengths, and you just go back to like being friends totally.
What's the oldest guy you've dated, or what's the youngest? What's the biggest age guy?
Okay, so in all honesty, my youngest to oldest. The oldest is probably forty that I've dated.
So five years older, six years old. Stop putting my age.
Seven years older.
No, when I dated someone's forty, I was thirty, so it was ten years and the youngest I've dated would probably be seven years younger than me. And I've dated someone seven years younger that I did not notice a thing. And I've dated someone seven years younger that I was like, you're a small man, child boy, and like yeah, and I can never see you again.
It's different life experiences.
It's like completely up to how that person was brought up, where they are in their life, what they've experienced, and what they want. So I'm a big advocate. Actually, something else is really interesting, A really good example.
We all know me can Gel. She's like, has the hottest husband in the world. Yeah, sure, he is much younger.
He's correct me if I'm wrong. He was an AFL player something in the sports.
But if anybody watched Survivor, I was salivating over this man. And then I met him in real life at the gym one day and I was like, Meg and Gil really did score.
So yeah.
Megan Gail is forty four and her fiance they're not married, Sean Hampson.
They've been together nine years and.
They have kids together.
Okay, they started dating when he was only like twenty three and she was late thirties. Even I remember being like, whoa that is huge. She got a lot of heat for it. There were under a lot of scrutiny. Everyone was like, this is never gonna last. An older woman can't date a younger man, like they want different things.
To prove them all wrong.
They've been together nine years and they have two kids, they're engaged, they're very seemingly happy and in love. So I think that's a prime example of when age doesn't matter. And imagine being in that situation in a public eye as well well.
And they have a full on twelve year age gap, Like that's a big age.
Gap, especially, you know what.
And I think that this is the thing that's an issue, is like we have a real problem with women dating younger men, Like we seem to think that that's weird, but we think it's less weird for an older guy to date a younger woman. Like we are very very sexist a society when it comes to that. And I know, I like to tease you, Brittany, but like, fucking live your best life.
But that's the thing too.
And I never used to ever date anyone younger than me. When it started, I met someone out that was younger and I didn't know he was younger.
I just met him. He asked me out, and.
I was like, yeah, great, you're very attractive. We had great child, let's go out, and we went out on two days before the age even came up, because the conversation was so free flowing that it was irrelevant. Then the age came up, and as soon as he said his age, I got the same feeling as this girl.
I was like whoa, Like.
Why can't this can't be a thing because you're so much younger than me, And he was sort of like, well, why, Like why can't it be a thing if you wasn't didn't bother the last two days? And that was really I mean, we obviously didn't work out, we only went
on a few days. We're still friends, mind you, but that was really a turning point for me where I was like, it actually doesn't matter if the chemistry is there and the love is there and the affection is there and everything else is there, it's irrelevant to me.
Well, I mean, it is a societal construct, Like I mean, it's something that we put a lot of pressure and energy into. But that's also because, like we've said in many other podcasts, we put a lot of pressure and energy onto timelines and onto things matching up by certain ages. So then when you when you date someone who is a significantly different age to you, there's an expectation that they're on a different timeline and that's where the mismatch happens.
But like I said earlier, you know, I always had the mentality that I needed to date up. So I've always dated older guys always. You know, I think the biggest age gap I've ever had was twelve years. And look, we were in very different stages of our lives. He had a kid, he owned a house, and to be perfectly honest, I wasn't ready for those responsibilities, Like I wasn't ready to match up to someone who was that
much older than me. But I had it in my head that guys my own age weren't on my maturity level, which is completely untrue. You know, that was my own thing that I was projecting. Like, Matt is a year younger than me, and so I feel like I'm a Cougarnew, but he's the youngest Matt.
A year does not make you a cu totally. But Mad he someone who's like in night years.
But Matt is literally the youngest guy I've ever dated. I've never dated somebody younger than me, and for me, that was a big mental adjustment because I've always dated up by so many years.
But don't you think that comes with age as well. I feel like the older you get as a woman and a man, the less age matters. I think, when you are twenty year old girl, woman, you're not going to date someone younger because they're just far too immature. But all of a sudden, when you're thirty dating someone that's twenty five, they're five years older than when you were twenty. You know, like it's like the older you get, the less age matters.
So yeah, look, I mean I think we could summarize this. I think like they went down a chap, big old rodeo on this one. But look, I agree with Britt. I think if there's chemistry there and you want to explore it, go for it. If it's fully giving you the ick, you don't have to force yourself into going on a date with anyone. But I don't see a ten year age de gap.
As a big deal.
It's only as big a deal as you make it out to be. But like you're potentially overthinking things before you've even been on a date with someone who you have some great chemistry with, and you might miss out on something.
So give it a shot. Go give it a well, all right, Question number two.
I am going to read this because this is something that we are discussing mad night at the moment. So my husband and I live in Australia, but we're originally from the United States. I'm twenty weeks pregnant and we're not going to find out the gender. We had a minor panic this week because we started to think about circumcision and realized we don't know what we're going to do if we have a baby boy. In the US,
getting your baby boy circumcised is pretty standard. My hobby is circumcised, and so are all of our male friends. But there seems to be a lot of research that shows it's actually not as medically beneficial as previously believed, so we're starting to question it. On one hand, it would be great for the bub to match his daddy, but should we give him that choice versus make the choice for him?
What do we do this.
Is to circumcise or to leave it uncircumcised. This is actually really interesting, Like a little and eater. What they looks like anteaters when they're not circumcised, do they when they have like long hanging four guys?
Imagine this.
Think of a penis that's not been circumcised with a long, floppy foreskin part, and then think of an air eater.
Do you know what? Yeah?
Do you know? I think of that cartoon? Off is your sense of mystery where.
You've got that? Okay?
I look, I'm having these exact conversations with Matt at the moment, and the reason why is, like me personally, from a sexual preference, I prefer someone who's circumcised. Matt is circumcised me. From a mum perspective, do I want my kid to be circumcised? I think it's completely unnecessary. I don't want to subject my child to the pain
of circumcision. I also think that there can be some medical complications that can come from circumcision if there's an infection, and I don't think it's necessary in the same way that we used to think it's necessary back in the days. It's definitely a very culturally driven medical procedure. It's something that has a lot of religious connotations to it as well, and I think if it's just from an esthetic point of view. I'm not going to pierce my little girl's
is until she can choose to do that. I'm not going to cut my kid's foreskin off until he can choose to do that either. But it's a very very personal decision, and it's one that Matt and I don't necessarily see ey'd eye on because Matt being circumcised, he thinks that our sons should be circumcised. He would like his son to be able to one look the same. But also, you know, Matt being circumcised sees the benefits of it too.
Yeah.
Look, the United States, he is one of the top countries in the world for circumcision that's actually known. So you're writing saying that, like, maybe when he grows up he will be a minority not being circumcised. But I don't think that that is going to put anyone off. I've never dated someone and been like, oh, they're circumcised or the not circumcised.
That's a deal breaker either way, it doesn't matter.
I think that from all the research now, it's not really necessary like it used to be. There are some certain conditions, like when the foreskin is too tight, for example, and it can't be pulled back.
It can be really painful.
And that is actually a thing, and that's where they will literally have to do it. So I think in cases like that, it's okay. There are certain countries which like they highly recommend boys and men even get adult circumcisions, which is like countries like Africa because it helps to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections. So there are a whole bunch of medical reasons where it's like fine,
go nuts. Other than that, there's just no real reason besides these few medical issues to circumcise a child now, except for purely esthetic reasons.
I think something to think.
About too is and like, obviously everyone's going to be different. But I did speak to a number of people that we have researched it. But it is widely known that sex is more sensitive when you have a foreskin. It's just one of those things. It's more it's supposedly more pleasurable. They get more sensation in it than when they're not circumcised. That is not taking away from saying that people that
are circumcised don't have good sex, because they do. It's just that science says it's slightly more sensitive and pleasurable with your full skin, So there are p and cons for both. But it's also if you were going to be making it a decision, you need to probably have all the evidence, write down a list of pros and cons, and make the decision on your own.
Well, I feel like.
More so for parents making the decision, it's an aesthetic thing. I don't think parents are making the decision based on like the kid's sexual satisfack. Think you remember like five day old kid being like, is he gonna have great sex when he's eighteen? Like, I don't know they should, but I think, like, you know, it's a very culturally driven exercise, you know, and we have been brought up
for in and like. Up until recently, eighty percent of boys in the United States and in Australia were circumcised. It's definitely losing popularity. But one of the big reasons why we used to circumcise kids is for hygiene reasons, because there was like this concern about infection, there was a concern about cleanliness.
We live in a clean fucking country.
Teach your child to clean their penis like that is like that is where I sit on the scale of things, and I have definitely this is why I say I prefer guys who are circumcised than guys who aren't. I have in my I'm gonna I'm gonna say, look, not in my adult life, because they I think from like
twenty five, guys kind of get it. But from eighteen to twenty five, the amount of uncircumcised boys that I was with that didn't know how to wash their penis properly is what has emotionally scarred me from an uncircumcised man, What do you mean just a smelly penis? Like they didn't know that they needed to pull their foreskin back to wash their penis properly. They just stand in the shower and let the water run over the whole thing, and so like that is the concept behind like the
need for having cleanliness. Also, look, I mean something that I found really interesting. I did a quick research on this when I was talking to Matt about it. I mean, this is not a secret because Matt's actually talked about on his own podcast. So I'm going to say it on this but he'll probably fucking kill me for it.
You're gonna put it out to an imagery audience.
Matt got circumcised, not as a baby, so he was circumcised when he was in school because of some medical reasons. And the reason and why he wants to circumcise our child if we have one, is because he doesn't want a kid to go through what he went through being someone who is older and being circumcised and being able to remember one the pain and to the experience. He said, it was incredibly, incredibly painful to go through as someone
who was in primary school. Whereas as a baby. Obviously it's painful for the parents to see your child in pain, but the baby doesn't remember it, so they.
Will be in pain, but they don't remember it.
They don't remember, and so there is some pros and cons to that. You know, you have to take that trauma yourself because you're going to see your baby being really hurt by something that is completely elective. But maybe you're saving them from the small percentage that there's someone down.
The track who needs to have a circumcision.
Right, And like Britz said, there's reasons why adults have to have them. Maybe it's because their four skins too long, Maybe it's because they're four skins too tight. There's all different reasons that are associated with that. So obviously that's why Matt is kind of keen to do that for
our child. But I think that this is really interesting because of the dropping rates of circumcision, and also because it's the controversial nature of it, Like you know, you're ential taking away that choice from someone to elect to do that themselves. Iceland is actually moving to potentially bear elective circumcision, and the reason.
For that is that you are exactly what I just said.
It should be a person's right to self determination as to whether they want to be circumcised or not, so doing that as a child if it's not necessary, they're actually looking to ban it. This has obviously had huge implications for Jewish and Muslim communities in Iceland because it is a religious and cultural expectation. It's also a really important part of their ceremony. So I mean, like we said,
there's huge cultural implications. But if it's purely for esthetic reasons, then I do think that there is some consideration that needs to go into it, because in Australia, fewer and fewer people are actually being circumcised, and so long as we teach our children to wash their penises, pull back that foreskin.
Give it a good old wash down. We're gonna be fine.
Teach them some hygienes like wash your hands, wash your penis.
I mean, have you ever been with a guy and thought, hmm, I wish you were circumcised? Or does it make zero fucking difference to you?
In all honesty, it doesn't make that much of a difference, totally, Like, I don't think I don't think he's gonna grow up and be like, damn, I wish you did this.
The only life that they have.
The only time it makes a difference is if there's more cheese in there than there is in your hand cheese crison't, which.
Is what Lauria has had for breakfast.
God, I just got so scarred from my like eighteen year old boyfriend who just did not wash his penis. Probably like I'm still like, I'm thirty five almost, guys, and I still live with that. You still can't get back my headhop Okay, question number three, I don't think we answered anything completely.
I think it's more just about about putting the pros and cons in and make you obviously have to make a decision on your own, but you really need to think about how necessary something is.
Well, yeah, and I think you know, you and your partner have to be fully in agreeance for this.
Because the thing is too Like if you don't, it's the circum penis. So if you don't circumcise them, they have the option of circumcising himself as an adult. Like I mean, we all, well, think of the plastic surgery, think of the operations people have, Like it's just another thing to add to the list. If you do circumcise them, they can't go and reattach a foreskin in twenty years.
Like it's not a thing.
Totally, but like you know what, it's so interesting, isn't it, Because like, like women elect to have breast implants later on in life. We don't see a girl who's twelve years old ago, Oh her boobs are going to be small. We should probably put some breast implants in there, do you know what I mean? Like, for some reason, it's just so culturally acceptable to cut off the foreskin of a man like that, because it's been happening since the beginning of time, Like it's been happening since Jesus.
Jesus was circumcised, was he? Yeah, who's Jewish?
I don't really know about Jesus, but she.
Still celebrates Christmas.
Jesus was circumcised, something that's been considered the norm for so very long. And I think that you know, it's okay to question things that we do just because we've always done them.
But think about it. Your kid can always circumcize themself. Well, it can't circumcize himself, but he can always go and get it.
Touch you don't try this at home, okay? Question number three?
Long story short, Me and my boyfriend broke up a couple of months ago. Lots of shit went on, but anyway, I slept with a guy a few times and I'm already hooked. I don't want to, but I know I already have feelings. How the hell do you stop this from happening? I swear I'm gonna hurt myself so much if this keeps going because it's so easy for me to catch these feelings.
Why am I catching feelings so easily?
Oh?
I mean, we've all been there, right, We've all had the rebound and caught feelings instantaneously.
Not me emotionally, avoid I definitely have.
I think I think you need to be you need to have self awareness, and like, obviously you do. Obviously you know that you're prone to having strong feelings, maybe prematurely, and so not only do you need to have some self awareness, but you have to have some self preservation
and stop yourself like, have some self control. There's a lot of self self self stuff in here, but it comes down to you, like you're if you're having sex with someone, If you know that being intimate with someone is when you start to catch the feels, then maybe slow things down a bit and give your sign give yourself time to heal between the breakup and when you're
actually ready to start dating someone else. Otherwise there is the potential that you just want to be loved, and you want to be in love so bad that you end up transferring those feelings to the next person that comes along, even if they're not the right person, and even if they're not good for you.
Look, my feelings on this are.
I have friends that I guess we've we've referred to it in the past law as like monkey branching, and I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but he yah, Laura's thinking.
Friends, I feel personally victimized. On the other side, of the couch.
I have a friend, Laura, No.
But I think the thing that you have to be really careful within this is I do think it's some self reflection needs to happen, because I think that when people develop these feelings really quickly, it usually comes from a place of a level of insecurity, a level of being a little bit scared, possibly to be on your own, which I want you.
To know is so common.
So many women don't want to be on their own. They feel unloved, they feel like they can't be in their own company, they feel like they'll be forever alone. They feel like they can't get stuff done because they need.
A man to help them.
And I think that that's a really dangerous place to be. So I think if you every time you're with someone and sleep with someone, you're forming these really deep feelings, I think you need to look at what the reason could be. Is it just that you were really really wanting a relationship. If that is the case, like Laura said, just slow it down a bit, don't jump in head first, don't spend every single day.
Or the jiana first, don't have sex with them.
Yeah, maybe don't sleep with them straight away, and just try and spend some time on your own and really think about if you actually like this person or if you like the company, and the feeling of being wanted and the feeling of not being alone, because there's a really big difference, and it's really important to differentiate the two about being lonely and being alone, Like you need to realize if you were just lonely and that's why you're wanting these people.
My big thing was and I like now retro with like the beauty of hindsight and retrospect. I can recognize it in myself.
But I would fall in love.
With people like I would become obsessed with people, not even because I genuinely was obsessed with them or in love with them, or even really liked them or even honestly thought that I was compatible with them, But I liked someone who liked me like I wanted to be loved.
And so when somebody showed me that they were giving me attention or affection, or even sometimes when they weren't showing me that much attention or affection, they were just spending their time with me, I was like, Oh, maybe I like them because they like me, And I think that that's a really big one, especially if you're used to being with someone and you're used to having the company of a partner. To find yourself being alone all of a sudden is it can feel a bit shit.
And it does take a little bit of time to have that self confidence of being alone and enjoying your own personal space in your own time, and not being alone and lonely, being alone and being really happy in yourself and on your own I really really think that the number one thing that happens in the situation and the one thing that you need to really try and exercise is some self control and some.
Self like I know, and I know that sounds patronizing.
I don't mean it like that that you don't have self control, but you recognize these traits in yourself. You're like, holy shit, I'm already falling in love with this guy. It's only been a month since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. And look, there are some circumstances where this is totally fine, and there are some people who find the love of their life very quickly after, you know, falling out of love with somebody else. But you need to kind of reflect on why did you break up
with your ex boyfriend. Why did that relationship end? Are you genuinely ready to get into another relationship or you're just doing it because you're lonely. And if you're saying, ah, fuck, like I know, I know, I'm getting myself in deep, then you're the one who has all the resources to stop yourself. Like you are not a victy. You are not a victim. You're not like being taken for a ride. You are taking yourself for a ride in this and
you have every single opportunity now to go cool. Let's put the brakes on a little bit, because I don't want to just throw my heart into.
The ring to be hurt again.
For me, I'm really lucky actually that I got to a place where I'm so happy on my own. And obviously I've been on my own.
For so long that I know now when I get feelings for someone, when it's real, because it.
Happens so infrequently.
I'm so honest and open with myself when I'm dating someone, and like Laura, you'll know, I'll be like, oh, there's nothing there, but like we had a lot of fun.
Oh and there's times where BRIT's like there's nothing there, and I'm like you need to give it a chance. And she's like, no, I'm all about Like She's like, I know what I want and i know what I'm looking for, and I'm not going to waste time on someone otherwise. Whereas like me back in the day, when I was trying to fill my loneliness with someone, I would like, I would date a guy. Look, I mean
not every single guy. Obviously, there were times where I was like, there's nothing there, but if there was like an inkling of something, I would be like, oh, I need to explore this.
I think you can just take things slowly.
Well, so now that when I meet someone and I feel something, I'm like, wow, like this could actually be something, because I know in myself I don't catch feelings easily because I'm okay on being on my own. And for me, this is my number one piece of advice that I will give any woman in their life. Be okay on your own at one point in your life, because then everything else in your life becomes easier.
I promise you.
It seems silly, but it's so important for it for every aspect of your life.
I totally agree.
And I also think like have the self awareness, like do you fall in love so easily. I think that's something to be aware of as well, Like, if you break up with this guy or if you stop seeing him, do you think that you're likely going to meet somebody else in a month's time and have these same strong feelings?
Like are you someone who falls in love super super quick and things progress very quickly or are you someone who's normally more considered Because you know, there are times where you will meet someone shortly after breaking up with someone else and it just works and they are the
right person and it is meant to be. We're not saying that that doesn't happen, but if it always happens to you, if you're always in a relationship because you always find somebody within a couple of weeks of breaking up with somebody else, and you always feel like, oh my god, now this one's the one, then that's when you need to really start reassessing. Because I guarantee you you're not supposed to fall in love twelve times in a year.
No one has one hundred ones.
No, you just don't.
And it does mean that maybe you have a type, or maybe you are in some patent behavior that you need to reassess.
But I would really question if you're.
Falling in love or you're, like, you know, being blown away by someone every other time you go on a date, reassess that something else.
Not every guy is that fucking amazing, trust me?
Or if they are, where the hell are I'll give you them mayandres to go on a reality TV show to find one twice. And something else to remember is and we've spoken about it a lot, is like love bombing and chemistry and last don't confuse all of them. It's so easy in those first few weeks when you're with someone. Sex is great, you're making out, you're getting.
The butterflies, you're having all those feelings.
It's really easy to confuse that with like this is a love I've been looking for, when it's not. You've got good chemistry and you're having sex, and there's a lot more that goes into like actually falling in love.
Obviously, I'm gonna leave you guys with a spoiler.
Wait, I'm gonna say one more thing before you say that, And it's like something that we advocate from this podcast so much, and that is that chemistry. Great chemistry is not an indication of a great relationship. Uh, keep your eyes open and look for those red flags.
People.
If your eyes open, your.
Legs closed, and looks I.
Mean whatever, you're allowed to have your legs open, you leave your best life girl for We're not here to tell you what to do, but we're just here to give you some guidance.
And if you know that sex makes you fall in love too quickly, then maybe maybe think about it.
I'm gonna leave you as the spoiler. I am catching feelings.
Brittany is in love.
No I'm not.
She's like red in the face now and she'll be like, I've.
Got goose bumps.
She's Brittany.
It make me sound like such a knob.
Brittany has been spending a lot of time with the boy. I'm gonna just put that out there.
Yeah, but that's not love, but I'm not. Yeah, but for me, it's the more my time I've ever spent with anyone of my existence.
I've never known Brittany to spend so much time with another person that it's weird.
Does it look weird for you when you see us together? Yeah? Weird?
Okay, So for all the guys that Brittany's dated over the past year and a half, I have not met any of them, like, never met them. I hear about them and then I'm like, well, they all sound like fuck with so I don't want to meet them. Then I'm really judgmental, but like, I've met this one. He seems great, so.
And I feel weird we've been with him in front of you. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, Yeah, because you.
Know that I'm judging the whole time. I'm like trying to dissect and pick out what's going on. So for everybody who's been following along or trying to dissect Brittany's love life on the Facebook group, which is life on cut podcast, you're very good FBI detectives. There is something going on. There's something brewing. We don't know what it is just yet. It's still early days. And I'm like, I'm not prematurely shared that with you because we've got no fucking filter.
In case you Hopefully he doesn't listen. I said he's not allow listen. I banded him.
You guys spend too much time together anyway, at the moment, I'd have to grow hard in the bathroom to live by.
What are you doing?
They That sounds like my laugh coming from the bathroom.
Also, the main reason I said don't listen is I wasn't ready for him to hear my laugh.
You can't contain that. You gotta let that thing be free.
No, I did. It has come out.
No.
But not only does Britney have to contain her laugh.
The other day I came over here and he was leaving, and he left the house and she was like, thank fuck, I've been needing to do a poop for like the last forty minute.
Okay, now great, what if he does listen? Now he's gonna hear that.
And then I had to listen to her do a poop.
So there's no there's no secrecy between us, guys.
Okay, let me just say. It's not like I live in a mansion, so I don't have five toilets to go choose from. And mind you, I have to listen to your nervous poop before every podcast that we do.
I don't do them anymore. I'm not so nervous about the podcast anymore.
I used to every single time we'd do an episode, guys, I'd have to go, this is too much information.
But like I said, why would we keep anything secret?
I used to have to go and do a wing in a poo before every single episode record, because I used to get so nervous doing them.
Okay, can I just say no?
Not only that, she would arrive to the studio or the house wherever recording and she would go and do her pooh and we then she would come. She would sit down, she would have the headphones on, We're about to press record, and she would be like, I just think I need to do one more nervous one. And I was like, babe, like how many nervous ones are in there? Like have you clogged up for the week? So she'd have to go on to another one.
I was like that guy off Georgia Love's season on The Bachelorette, which he had the crazy eyes.
I think his name was Tim.
I don't remember. I didn't watch it.
He kept talking about nervous poohs on the actual I don't know if anybody remembers this, but he was from Woollongong. I'm also from Wollongong. Maybe I'm related to him.
Told me five people it's like Tasmania.
He kept talking about doing a nervous pooh because he was so scared about.
Being on the show.
That was literally me, but I never spoke about it until now, So there you go, sharing my secrecy.
Nervous poos are actually a thing, though, Like everyone listening has done nervous poo in their life.
Yeah, I just don't do them as much as you. Maybe I don't get as nervous as you. Maybe I just don't care as much as you everyone does nervous poos. You definitely do more nervus poos than anyone but met my existence, even like professional athletes.
All right, on that note, guys, we hope you've enjoyed another episode of Life on Cut. If you have any questions for us for next week's episode, you can always jump on the Facebook group Life on Cut podcast, or it's always great if you slide into our dms. Actually that's probably the easiest way. Send it to us on Instagram,
which is also Life on Cut podcast. But it's one request is that when you send us a question, put ask on Cut at the top, and if you're sending us an accidentally unfiltered story, right accidentally unfiltered at the top, so that when we can see the little preview of the message and makes it really easy for us to determine.
What is what just some housekeeping for us.
Oh so I'm really frothing at the moment. All the men that are messaging us that they're listening. You're coming out more and more every time we mention it.
Can you keep doing it? Because I love it.
I love to see the men that are listening. Who you are, like, what you're about, what your age is.
And why you're listening. Just for my own curiosity. So if you are a guy listening, slide on it.
Just because Brennie wants to know that she's got backup options in case things go terribly wrong.
If you.
And guys you know the drill.
If you haven't subscribed to the podcast yet, like really, like, that's our big push, please go and subscribe.
I really want the fuck.
I really want you to subscribe.
But that's because, uh, that's because one it helps us grow, but also because sometimes we get messages from you that says that you haven't received the episode.
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