Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life un Cut. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is ask Guncut where we answer all your deep, you dark and you're burning questions.
You had said to me this morning was an hour and a half later.
It was really bad, right, No, no, Brittany, because we all left early and we all got here and you arrived an hour late.
The traffic was not that bad. It was bad, but it was.
Not an hour that would put my life on Delilah that I left. What time did you lose? It's seven minutes to eight, and it usually takes me forty minutes max. And that's not enough time to Yeah always.
I've been doing this for eighteen months.
Even Keisha's like that is late, left late, tells you that it took me an hour and a half. There were three accidents along the way.
Do you know what peak hour in the morning. I would have to say that forty minutes is not enough time because it took me an hour and tent and I always leave an hour.
But you know, we can also live twenty minutes further away from me. We can. Okay, you did tell me now that I am here, that you have a story to tell me. I do. I do have a story. I love that I saved them up.
Or like, whenever we have a story that we think is going to be semi interesting, we're like, I can't tell you because I need to tell you in real time on the podcast. So we interviewed recently. We're doing a bonus episode every month that's coming up.
Is it going to.
Be We haven't named it yet, we don't know what it's called, but it is basically an interview with one member from our Life on Cut community.
So I think we'd go like life is on Cut or something there.
We got Life, We've got bonus episodes of Life is on Cut coming. So what we wanted to do basically is highlight the key and like really influential people who are in the Facebook group it's the Life on Cut discussion group, people who are super proactive, who have really interesting stories, and we're going to be interviewing one person, one community member, one life for a month. Anyway, we did our very first record on Monday with Carlie Sophia.
If you're part of the Facebook group, you will know exactly who Carli is.
If she's not part of the Facebook group and you don't know who Carlie is, you need to join the Facebook group.
So Carlie is fucking hilarious. One of the jobs that she does is that she reviews sex toys wild so she comes to the interview.
Hang on, let's not brush over that. What a job?
What a job? Gin, You're being paid to masturbate, debate so good, and to really not just to masturbate, but to masturbate to a level of like, you've got to really try to get everything out of that product. So you've got to really like honing. You've got overtime, you're getting paid. You're like, I'm sorry, it took me an extra hour today. I'm charge in our overtime because your product didn't get me there quick enough.
But then she's also imparting the wisdom on the general population about which are the best toys and which ones to steer clear of, So clearly she's doing God's work.
She's doing God's work.
Yes, she's a good woman, and that's why we wanted to speak to her. But also, I mean speaking of her being a good woman, she came to the interview and she brought Britt and I a vibrator.
No one has ever turned up to an interview before.
Sometimes people will bring in like a book, or like a coffee, or we've even had a cake. Once someone brought us a cake, which was really nice. That was Beck Brown. Oh yeah, she brought brownies. She brought brownies, which is punny now that we say that it's because they're the Beck Brown brownies. I'm not sure it is because yeah, is that why she did. It's maybe she did for brownie points.
Oh my god, this brown inception.
Okay, so we've had little bits and pieces before, but I've never been brought a dildo, vibrator suction all in one. Yes, So Britt got given a really beautiful big vibrator, right, is it the Flamingo.
Yeah, it looks like a vibrator. I'm sure it does all the things a vibrator does. It acts like it acts like a vibrator. I'm glad that you give it a test. Run. I, on the other hand, got given a vibrator which looks like a cheese knife and could be potentially used.
It kind of looks like a cross between a medical device and a salad server. Yours looks like a weapon. You know what it makes me think of when I look at it, which I've always wondered how they do it? You know, the Kardashians have those ridiculously long nailing nails, and I've always thought, how do they masturbate? Do they masturbate? Or how do you do anything? How do you even open a card or tie shoelace, put a bra on, whatever?
But I've always wondered about the masturbation and your toy because that's how I can't sleep a night becu I'm thinking about the Kardashians massurbaateing, not how do you wash your children in a bar? How masturbate? It shows where I am in my life right now. But your toy reminds me of that because it's just got this really wildly dangerous looking point and I don't know what you do it. Have you figured it out?
So?
Okay, it's got a point. It's called for pointed pleasure. I took it out of the bag. It was Valentine's Day and I took it.
I'm feeling it.
No, I took it out of my handbag. I was going to work and I said to Matt. I was like, oh, look what I got given at you know, at the interview yesterday. Look what I got given. And I pull out the vibrator and I put it on the kitchen table. Anyway,
I completely forgot because I've not met her yet. We have this woman who comes to our house on a Tuesday every Tuesday, and she helps with things like meal prepping for the kids, like doing things around the house that aren't cooking and cleaning, but things to like help me with my work, to help you. She's there to help me. Her name is Michelle. Michelle seems like a
lovely woman. I have not yet met her. Anyway, she comes in and she's chatting away to Matt and she's cleaning up the kitchen and she picks up the vibrator and she's like, what's this And so then Matt awkwardthy has to be like, oh, services he's a kid's So Laurie does this podcast they talk about sex. It's a vibrator. But we haven't used it anyway, he goes through the thing that happens. Little funny, he calls me. He tells me,
we have a laugh about it. Half an hour later, she has just done the washing, and she's taking the washing into the bedroom and she walks in. Matt has forgotten that in the morning, before I left for work, he made me film this absolutely fucking stupid Valentine's Day skit where he scattered rose petals over the bed and put up a ring light and also had another dildo on the floor. And she walks in and there's the
bedroom set up like we've been recording soft porn. And she walks out and she was like, I don't I don't think that this was for your job.
And then there's like some nappies in there as well. She's like why because we're doing child play now, Like what are we doing? We're really into age play. I like Matt to dress up and call me mummy. That It's actually so funny because you know that it was almost possible right the salad server in the kitchen for
the first vibrain passable. But you can't come back from when you walked in with the ring light, filming with the dildos, and how do you explain that the bedroom set up, how do you explain that?
I just don't just say it was wild night, it was Valentine's Day.
I'me for everybody, it's funny because we I mean you guys haven't heard the episode yet.
It's come out in a couple of weeks.
But a part of that was discussing sex toys and the effect it has on men when they think that they can never be enough if a woman uses a vibrator or a dildo, because they think how am I ever going to keep up?
Like whether it's a masculating for some men.
So I same thing.
We got home from that day and I was on FaceTime to Ben and I was like, look what I got today because.
It was exciting.
We've got a gift and it was a beautiful flamingo vibratoryildo.
So I held it up and he was like wow.
He's like, that looks like it does a lot because it has like a literal suction thing and then it scoops around in a circle into the insertion dildo part. So it's like there's a lot going on. It literally does everything at once.
It's like a robovacum.
It's like you're having an orgy, but with a vibrator.
So I showed him and I was like, yeah, it does.
It's got this thing on the glitteris and I think that bit vibrates and then it's an air suction as well, and then it curves around and then that's the dealer part. But the dealer vibrates too. And he I could see his brain going over and he said the same thing.
Hey, so you're probably never going to enjoy sex with me again.
But men don't know it. He's like, but not like a serious thing, sort of like a oh well, like a throwaway, like well there we go, Like how are us men supposed to keep up with this contraption? And I said, won't somebody think of the men? Think of the men?
And I said the same thing to him, I said, we spoke about this today.
Men have no idea, I think anyway, My opinion is you can have all the bells and whistles on a contraption to masturbate and get off, but there will be nothing ever in my eyes, that will replace sex with someone you love, the moment, everything that comes with the sex like you could have you can have these little things that Madonnie's to put on a nipples that like swivel around and stuff, you know, the windmill nipples. Nothing's going to replace for me great sex with someone you love.
I don't think nipple tassels are going to replace great sex for anybody. No, I just really want to try them out.
Interesting you say that, though, because playing Devil's Advocate, and now we're just like completely going offscript here, they're playing Devil's Advocate to that point, right, that nothing would replace it. I know that we laugh at the whole idea that a man might think that a vibrator or a dildo could replace the real thing. But it's interesting though, because on the flip side, as women, a lot of times, you know, porn does replace real sex. Masturbation does replace
real sex. It is something that can be a problem. So I wouldn't say that you could completely rule out the idea that someone could be enjoying using vibrators more than the real thing. That could happen in some people's relationships. Is it a great fear that men should go to
sleep with at nighttime? No, But I think if we're going to entertain things like, you know, men masturbating too much, men watching too much porn, men doing things outside the relationship that then affects what happens between you as a couple. I would go as far as to say that it shouldn't be gendered. It could happen to women as well.
Absolutely, I have a friend she's I want to say, recovered. I guess it is because it was an addiction. She had a porn addiction. You don't hear about it from like a female, so I usually only hear about men. And she's really open with me about it. She had a proper porn addiction. She wanted to watch in the morning, when she woke up at nighttime, all different sorts. She just couldn't start to get off without it, and it started to affect a relation she was in a relationship.
I mean, I think the addiction started when she was single. Then she went to a relationship. And at the start it was fun because they were doing things together that they saw on the porn, like let's try it like this, let's watch it while we have sex.
And in a new relationship, that's great.
But it started to get to the point where she said, I can't get off properly now, if I'm just having sex with my partner because of everything I've seen and felt otherwise, which isn't real, right, Like, these are productions and performances. But it changed her expectations, so she had to go cold turkey. She had to quit and like porn detoks and then the relationship got ten times better. Yeah.
But I mean, it's the topic that we've wanted to talk about for quite a long time, but we need to find the right person to talk about it. Is porn addiction, because it is a very real thing and I think it affects many people. Okay, But before we get into answering questions, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about it. And I know that you will have no idea what I'm talking about because you
do not watch Maths. But something happened in last night's episode, and I have feelings and I kind of want to get your input on this. So there's a couple on the show called Shannon and Caitlin.
I mean, everyone that listens to the pod knows I'm not a maths person like you.
Is he the Russell brand one?
No? No, no, no, you're thinking of Jesse. No.
So Shannon is he kind of looks like a bit of a surfer boy. I would say, like a reformed surfer boy with short hair. Basically, the big scanner with him last week was that he had said to Caitlin, I'm still in love with my ex. And then when he was on the couch at the commitment ceremony, the love experts were grilling him on like, well, why did you come into this experiment if you just has slept with your X like the week before the show, Like,
it doesn't make any sense. Even though he has said I'm still in love with my ex, I don't have feelings for Caitlyn. Yet he chooses to stay in.
The experiment, you know, yeah, because he's committed grand flow. Yeah, Instagram followers, to making Instagram followers, You've got to be committed to those followers. You can't leave that earlier, he is committed to growing his Instagram account. I mean he's committed to her.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I mean so obviously. So anyway, this week it is intimacy challenges. During the intimacy challenges, obviously Shannon is not feeling it because he doesn't want to be with Kaitlin and he's not there with pure intentions.
But at the end, sorry, that was my shock horror, Yeah, I thought so.
Basically, what happens is he brutally rejects Kaitlyn after these intimacy challenges. He says to her, I think you're an attractive girl, but not to me. Okay, Now, I have some feelings about this whole conversation because there's some issues in terms of being honest and being cruel, right, like they're two different things. But he says, more so, I want to play that audio for you.
The attractions low. You are a good looking girl, just but not in my eyes. And I thought you were going to come down that aisle, yeah, and completely blow me away because I honestly, those things that I was saying about x whatever, I wouldn't have even contemplated of saying now. I just would have just cut it completely forgotten, like that stuff shouldn't have even been an issue.
So this is my question, Brett, and I know that there's a lot of people who are up in arms on social media about this, but where is the line between being honest and telling someone how you feel and being just fucking mean?
Oh? I mean, like, how long's a piece of string? I think it's a lot in the delivery. I think it's all on the situation. I think we take advantage of the words no offense, but totally like this setup of just saying I don't want to offend you, but I'm about to offend you. That doesn't negate the fact that you're about to completely tear someone's heart out. I understand the concept of what he said in terms of if you just told me the sentence he said, if
I didn't see it, I hadn't heard everything else. I understand the concept of being able to say you're a beautiful person, but I'm not overly attracted to you, but I can recognize you're beautiful person. I've been in situations like that before, where I'm like, this human is so attractive, but I don't have the attraction. And that could be because something else is missing, could be because the personality or the humor, morals, or whatever it is. So I
understand why he feels like that. I think that's common, but I don't understand the need to deliver it in the way he delivered it, and the expectation he has put on her to fix his problems, like you can't say it or someone I came in here loving someone else, and I thought you'd be so hot that I wouldn't love him anymore. But you're not that hot.
Also, just how unbelievably superficial that, like your hotness was supposed to dissolve my love for my ex. That's what it was supposed to do.
And an amazing person.
I am. What about everything I'm doing? What about Yeah, I think that he's a bit of.
A twat for that.
Well, this made me think about something else, And I mean it's a little bit of a tangent, but bear with me. I do think we see it more and more at the moment, this whole conversation around like I'm just telling my truth. I'm speaking my truth. I mean instantly I think of Prince Harry and the whole like
this is me speaking my truth. And it made me question there is an importance in this idea, Like it is important for people who maybe are from minority groups, maybe people who have felt that they haven't had a platform to speak their truth. But I think it's been taken advantage of and people use it on an individual level to say things that they feel and think that are potentially quite mean, but are actually not the truth.
It may be their truth, but just because you perceive something to be true, our memories of situations, our feelings towards things can actually really hugely shape what we and how we interpret a situation. It doesn't mean just because it's your truth doesn't make it the truth.
And someone saying I'm just being authentic, I'm being my authentic self.
So this is what I'm going to say. There is a difference.
I'm all for people speaking their truth and being authentic and saying how they feel, but you still do that with it coated in respect. You still want to deliver this, not to knock somebody down and rip their heart out and make them feel belittled. You can still deliver your truth in a way that is respectful. If you know you're going to absolutely hurt someone's feelings, why say it? What are you going to get from it? This is what I think sometimes not saying anything is the best
thing that you can do. I just think there are too many people now taking these terms for advantage that no offense. The speaking my truth, being my authentic self. I just think there are a lot of people that are stretching that too far.
It makes me think of so. Back in twenty eighteen, Oprah Winfrey said this at the Golden Globes. She said, I encourage everyone to speak their truths, right, And I think like from then it is kind of really escalated in how we communicate. This whole idea of like speaking your truth has become quite a common sentence.
I first said, I can say whatever I want.
Yeah told me how Overra told me to speak my truth? It has over time, Like I think, originally it had such good intentions. It was this powerful message of like if you are the underdog, if you have been in a situation where maybe like collectively something is happening, we all know what's happening, but no one is speaking out I e. The Me Too movement, I eat, Black Lives
Matters movement. In these instances, the idea of speaking your truth is very important, but I think over time it's been weaponized and people use it on an individual level where they say, well, I'm speaking my truth even though yes, they may be speaking how they feel, they may be
speaking what they think. One it's fucking mean, and two it doesn't make it the truth, which I think is a really interesting and important way of kind of unpacking where we've gotten to with this sentence and statement.
So how did it end up?
Obviously there was this really offensive, rude moment. They don't want to be going to.
Stay and work it out.
At the moment when this was.
All unfolding, she looked truly shocked, like she was just kind of a bit mute at the start. And then she went outside and had her voxy moment where she was speaking to camera and she was so upset she was literally visibly shaking.
That sucks.
And then she went inside and she had a real powerful moment where she was like, you know, you don't need to like me, you don't need to love me, but you need to respect me. I think she recognized exactly what was going on here, and I think that it can kind of go two ways in those moments. You can have someone say horrible things to you and you can walk away from it going I wish I had said this, but because you're so shocked in the moment,
you're not able to verbalize yourself. And it was almost like she walked away, composed herself, got to think about what she wanted to say, and then she went back inside and ripped him a fucking new one, and so did the rest of Australia.
But they're still gonna work it out.
I don't know.
I feel like, well, you can't leave until commitment ceremony, so that we've got to wait till Sunday.
It's not wild that we have a show like that. It's like, oh, you're.
Trapped here in this toxicity because you can only leave on a Sunday. It's fucking cooked.
And also it makes me think, surely not right, Like Channel nine can't handcuff them to the bed if they want to leave. Legally they can leave. They have to be even if their contract says they can't. If you're not happy in a situation, if it's causing, you know, issues to your mental health, putting undue stress on you, and you want to go, they can't make you not go.
I tried to leave two different reality shows and I was allowed to go, but I was talked off the ledge. So they're never gonna handcuff you there. It's not the Hunger Games like you think. You know, I have to sit there and fight to the death.
You're not allowed out.
But there is a part of it, and I understand to an extent because we only see we've spoken about it. We only see twelve minutes, half an hour of day's worth of non stop filming, so a lot of other stuff that goes on that will never understand. So I always want to give benefits of the doubt where we can, because you don't know the full story totally. And there's also a level of well, I've come this far, and I've invested this much, and I've given up this much
on the outside to come here. Maybe I will.
Just ride it into the Instagram followers.
Ride into the followers.
Yeah, like right into the blue tick are You're like, I'm going to get something out of this. If it's not a relationship, I'm going to be a promo, it's going to be a tree holiday. Okay, Well, I wanted to jump in with this week's recommendations A vibe and unsubscribe. I am telling you, Brittany Hockley, go and watch The Glass Onion.
It's fucking great. You've been writing me saying all my vibes are not hot takes. Glasshungion has long gone, Laura this, Yes, I thought it was new. Hang on, what did you watch? One?
Or two?
The Glass sung In is a movie? Yeah, there's two separate ones the Glass sung in. Are you talking about the one on the Island recently? I was gonna say, Craig David.
With Daniel crazy, I reckon everybody is head goes there.
I always every time I see Daniel Craig, I'm like, Craig David, is that we're talking about the Island one? Yeah? Because you feel stupid? No, because it is a sequel. There is another one that he was in a year or two ago and it's the same. This is new right, Yeah, that's in December last year, so it's three months old but still hot. Take great, Okay, now it's.
A bit of an old take.
What I want to say to you is if you loved that, the first one is ten times better.
So no, because i'd watched the first.
One was the first one have Kate Hudson in it, though, No, oh fuck, I just love Kate Hudson. She's so good and she's so much like her mum. Now Goldiehorn, it's like.
Okay, so you know White Lotus, you know the idea of it, how one character is taken over into the next series and it's like a flow on. It's the same thing. So it's set in a house and it's a murder mystery kind of a thing. It's really cool, it's really good, and I love that you're recommending it to me now, and with my record and Craig, David Daniel Craig, he's the character that flows on into the
Glass Onion too. He's a detective in the first one as well, right, the first one, because I was pumped for the second one because I loved the first one so much. If you loved the Second Island one, you're going to froth city the first one because for me, the first one, the first one shat all over the second one, and I like the second one, but the
first one's ten times better. So if anyone is joining the Law of Train and thinks that this is the first one that's come out, and this is my hot tank recommendation, Glass Onion, can you get back to me next week.
I want to know what you think of the first one. I probably won't watch it. I don't have enough time to watch TV, so this was like an anomally. I watch it and I was like, wow, this is cool. This reminds me of anyway. I feel really dumb now, but you're not called.
Knives out it's a different thing, it's the same.
I have not watched Glass Onion, highly recommend. That's all I'm gonna say.
Okay, my vibrant subscribe. I don't have an subscribe, but my vibe this week. If you follow me on Instagram, you'll know I've been talking about it a lot. If you don't follow me Instagram, Britty, I don't go hockey. I have a new obsession with a hands free dog leash, like dog walking leash. It just wraps in a little belt like around your waist.
Now, look at a fanny pack.
I don't look cool at all. It's not well, maybe it is cool. Maybe I'm gonna make it cool. I don't feel cool, but it is life changing. How does it feel when you're getting walked by your dog? You don't walk your dog, your dog walks you. Well, it seems to control her more. I don't know why. Maybe because it's a consistent level of tortness, so she seems to just understand that that's how it is.
Now.
So it's only happened once where she reacted to something and went to run. I nearly fell down at a flight of stairs.
She ran.
Really, So if you're a frail, brittle, and old. Please don't use the body leash what it can do. Now it goes around your waist and you just walk. So I drink coffee, have a croissant, talk on the phone. My hands are free, and it's life changing. I feel like if you have kids, or a pram or anything, or you just want to be like me and eat on the run, it's life changing. So that's my hot take. And I'm not unsubscribing from anything this week. It's been
a good week. It's been a good beat. Yeah, all right, let's get into the questions. All right.
Question number one.
I've just found out I'm pregnant and I'm trying to decide on baby names. There is one name that I have loved for years, literally years. I had it written down in my notes from twenty seventeen, because I mean, who doesn't have a list of baby names that they love. My best friend's sister had a baby eighteen months ago and named the baby the name that I have loved since twenty seventeen. I see my best friend's sister and
her baby pretty often. Is it bad if I still go ahead and use this name, even though I'll see her and the baby. Often the spelling would be different, but at the end of the day, the same name. Should I ask her if it's okay? Can I just do it? Do I need a new name?
I have what I think is an unpopular opinion because I think most people care a lot about baby names. Right for the general consensus from friends and family that I've spoken to, people seem to care a lot about and feel very protective over the baby names that they choose for their children.
I couldn't give a fuck. So if I could not have and call it Marley Mayes, I couldn't care.
If you want to copy me, that's on you. That's not a reflection of me. That's just weird for you.
I had two kids and I call them male Ma and Lala Derby. I honestly I would.
Of course, a part of me would be like, that's a weird flex weird Brittany. And then you start to make out with Matt and I'm like, are you trying to have my life?
Like?
What's going on here?
That escalated quickly. I honestly don't care. Now I know that I am not the majority. I understand that, and I'm okay with that.
Right.
My answer is we all need to care less? You can name your kid whatever you want to name your kid. Yes, you may see your friend's sister often. You may see your friend's sisters baby often. But are those two children going to be best friends? Are they going to play it together? Are they going to go to the same school, the same family events?
Like?
Also, I think the other question you need to ask yourself is is the name so obscure?
Like if it's.
Lavender tweetle Bay, then I go sure, probably don't name it because people are going to think you copied. But if it's Sarah or Stella or Ava, something really common name, or Bloody Marley may now like just whatever, go for gold. I just don't think it's as big a deal as what we make it out to be.
I disagree. I know that I'm the anomally. I think most people would. I disagree with reason. I think there's parameters that you need to look at. I think if it's a really close friend, family member, or someone you see a lot that you know is going to be in your life and the age difference is small, I would probably If there's another name you love, I would probably go for that. But at the end of the day it is your child, and that child is going
to live a very very long life. And if you love the name for that child, you do whatever you want. If there's no other name in history of the tickets, your fancy. If you really don't want to do lavender, tickle brush or whatever you said, Laura, I'm lovena tickle Bay, tickle Bay. If you don't want to be living a tickle bay and you only love Sarah, do Sarah. It doesn't matter. Probably preempt it and let them know it's
going to happen. Actually, this is an example, and I was a lot younger, so it's as close as an example as I can give you. In my life, I had a dog. I feel like there's no truer sentence for me. I had a dog and I called her Miya. And then eighteen months later or two years and like my dog. Now, everyone that knows Delilah, you know how obsessed I am. I've been like that forever. So my dog, she was a border Collie. She came everywhere with me everywhere.
We surfed together, we kayaked, we ran, she came to the shops everywhere everyone you were. And my friend got a dog eighteen months later a working dog and she called it Mia, and I was like, that's just so weird. I was like, that's my dog's Like why.
Very convenient though, if you're at the park you're like, hey, Maya, and then all the dogs come for great.
I remember just thinking like I didn't care enough that I wasn't gonna say anything. But I remember my thought, and I'm talking this is like fifteen years ago. My thought was like, there are so many names, why did you call them?
Mind?
But she just really loved the name. And it's not like the dogs go to school together and the dogs don't know that there's the same name. Like, I understand that that thought was stupid, but I can only imagine it's intensified a hundred times for people that they're best friends are calling their kids the same name.
Well, I I definitely don't think the thought is stupid, because I would say, like, of course, I say I don't care. I would still think, like, for example, if you called your kids Marlene Lola, of course I'm gonna think that's fucking weird. But is it going to affect our friendship? Is it going to change the way I feel about you? Is it gonna make me love your
kid any less. No, like that, And that's what I mean by I won't care, Like, of course, there's going to be a part of me that's like that's a weird option, but it's not going to change a good friendship, and nor is it going to make me resentful or angry. I do think that they're probably and like to unpack a little bit more rather than being just kind of like, don't care, do whatever you want. I think that there are probably different situations where one is more favorable than
the other. So, for example, if it's a name like you say that you've had since twenty seventeen, you've loved it, you've had it as your name, you're really attached to it. I think that that is a very different situation when you choose the same name, rather than for example, say you were pregnant and as someone says to you, oh, this is a name I wanted to name my child, or this is the name I had in mind, and it gives you the idea of like, oh, yeah, that's
a really pretty name. That's a different thing. Like if you're inspired by someone else's name because they've said it, or you know you've come in contact with it during your pregnancy. That's a really different attachment than to something that you have kind of because like a lot of women, actually a lot of people in general, they will have like little fantasies about having a girl or a boy and what they're going to name their child and what
their family's going to look like. And so if you've created this attachment years prior, trying to get over that name and not be attached to it and name them something else just because you don't want to offend someone, I think, fuck, I just named the kid. Whatever's going to make you.
Happy, haven't you?
In my family, literally two weeks ago, so everyone that knows my sister, Sherry Sheridan what you probably don't know, but her nickname her entire life, everyone in our family call also that, and even the extent of family, her nickname is Bear. It always has been Bear, Bearsie. My dad started it when she was a little kid. And now my brother had a baby two weeks ago and called it Bear, and Sherry had this moment where she called me, She's like, is it weird? They called it
my name? And I was like, well, your name's not. I was like, your name isn't bear. Your nickname is bear, And she's like, I know, but I have this weird attachment to it, like I'm bear and.
I'm like, and now no one's going to call her bear anymore because they're going to call the baby bear.
That's what she feels like.
She feels like because that bears way cuter, like better newborn baby. It's cuter than Sherry. He's thirty three and married and bears not as cute Sherry. I think you're cute.
Don't worry. I think you're so cute, Sherry.
But it's funny because she's like she didn't actually care, but she said she had a moment too where she's like, they called it my name. Look, I think.
In conclusion, have we helped you? Probably not. But I think it comes down to you assessing how one offended you think your friend's sister's going to be. Do you think she's going to be really offended? Is it going to affect your friendship? Is it going to turn into this huge problem? And if the answer is, look, probably not. She might just think it's a bit weird and then
she's going to get over it. Then I would say, don't worry about it, because sometimes we create issues and make them way bigger in our mind than what they actually are. But if you know that it's going to be an issue, then you know reassess.
Okay, my final question for you so you can wrap it up for this girl is I'll trying. Now that you've said I tried to wrap now. But now that you've said that, do you think that she should go to her and give her heads up that she's going to call it that or do you think she just does it.
I think that there's nothing wrong with saying I don't think you're going to ask for permission. I think you're going to go and say, look, I hope this isn't uncomfortable for you. I have had Lavender whatever it is to on my list for the last five years. It's a name that I'm really attached to, and I would love to be able to call my daughter. I hope that that's not going to be an issue for you.
And if she turns around and says it's a massive issue, I'm so upset blah blah blah, then the problem is you have to deal with that and then make a decision as to what's more important.
You know, her reaction, but most.
People will ninety nine percent of people will not react that. Adversely, they might be like, oh, that's a bit weird, and which case you can be like, yeah, I know, I'm sorry, that's a bit weird for you.
I hope you get over it. But that's the name. Yeah, Sherry does message the group chat and said, so stoked you named him after me.
Cute exactly, and that can be your little thing that you guys have for the rest of now and forever. All right, Okay, next question is, as a business woman who works incredibly hard, how do you deal with haters trying to bring you down? I have a business that is pretty successful. I work hard seven days a week and put my heart and soul into it. Yet one negative review or people trying to slander our name and I can't get it out of my head? How do
you cope with the negativity? This is a to us personally.
Yes, are you trying to say we got a lot of Is that to me?
This is actually.
Something I think relates or resonates with us, Laura, something that we've done, we've w wait, I have one for you, just so we all let's not highlight our negative reviews.
Well, you know what, we all know that there's good ones. Here's the most recent negative one. It's about me to wiper it enjoy this podcast, but Laura needs to And then I can't read the rest because it cuts off, and then it says I do enjoy this podcast. But in finding lately that Laura is constantly sharing views which are clear digs at Brit and her choices, it's just super odd and comes off a bit gross to listen to. Brit seems very unaware. You're aware now though, right, Britt, I was.
Unaware hill now Yeah, also, which adds, which adds to the grossness.
I hope Laura stops this and it gets back on track soon so that the podcast can get back on track.
That is wild because everyone that knows us, and you guys, hope that most of you knows Laura and I are like best friends.
And also our life it goes far beyond what we speak about on this one and a half hour podcast.
You know, we know.
Fucking everything about each other.
Yeah, the deep, the dark, and the wonderful, and we truly love each other, so sometimes we might take the piece out of each other because we genuinely want to take the piss out of each other, like we just want to have a bit of fun and it's light harded. Neither of us ever take what the other says hard.
And you know what, I read this out because I'm like, I know that this is one that obviously paints me bad life. But we've received, oh, we've received both sides of it. But you know what, we love each other
and we are such good friends. And sometimes we will get reviews where one person will be defending the other person on behalf of and if anything, whenever I've read them about you before where people will have said, you know, Britsbean mean to Laura or she's had a dig, it makes me upset that people listen to that, and then we'll pit against each other like that we have some
beef that doesn't exist. And I think that that's probably one of the biggest things when I've read reviews before where I'm like, fuck, I hate that that's been misinterpreted or I hate that someone might think that. But what's most important to me is what you think and what I think of you ultimately, which is I adore you and think you are the fucking brilliant. So I guess for us personally. If this is a personal question, and I mean this from Tony May business also from life
on cup. It doesn't matter what you do in life, there is always going to be some negativity. You cannot make everybody like you, and especially when it comes to business. You might give the best fucking customer service. You might try absolute hardest, and I know, like with Tony May, we work so hard and have done for fifteen years to give the best products, the best service. But you know what, sometimes things go wrong and people will be unhappy,
and it's how you manage that. What I think is a really important part of your question is the fact that you say it upsets you so much, like you think about it all the time. That just shows how much you care what an excellent business woman you are and how your business is going to thrive into the future because you care what people think about you.
It's the age old saying someone else's trash is another treasure, and I think it goes.
Like it's age old, it's aged pretty.
Who are you calling that now? I'm not, But my point is, and it's okay, it's a long way around for me to say, is exactly what you just said in a different way. But someone trashes another treasure. So what somebody loves, somebody else doesn't like. And that goes for some people's opinions because what they like to read, what they like to listen to, would like to see. And someone pretty influential once told me, I'm pretty sure
it was Barack Obama once we had dinner. Yeah, you guys are best is He told you know you've made it when you start to get the hate. And what I say by that is when you start your business.
So this person has written in when you've started your little business, the people that are following you and supporting you and buying your products, those people are your people, right, so they love you, so they're never going to give you any hate because they're your circle, and they're the people that are committed to searching you, out finding you and buying your product. As you grow and grow and grow,
you reach more people. You're going to eventually reach people that have stumbled across you but don't like your product and feel like they need to tell you that. This is when Barak don't quote that told me that that's when you know you've made it because you've reached a platform you're reaching so many people, your product's going out there, it's so popular that people are going to start to tell you what they really think now. So it also is human nature to grab onto that one little thing
of negativity. I'm sure whatever business you run, I'm sure you had one hundred amazing reviews and a hundred people that are celebrating you and supporting you. But that one person that says, you know what, I think you're shit totally. You want to hold onto that because that's what hurts. And you're like, well, I want everyone to love me.
Why don't they love me? But you need to get to a point where you understand as long as you are happy with what you're putting out and who you are, that's all that matters, because you're never ever ever going to please anyone.
I think that that is a really important point that you just made. Breath this whole idea that we are negatively good. You know, you can get a thousand positive comments and a negative one will cut through so much deeper, so much quicker, and you will hold on to those. You know, something that somebody frivolously has just fired off in ten seconds and then they've gone on with their day and not thought about. You will read that and that will affect you potentially for the rest of your day,
the rest of your week. You cannot be defined by the negative things that a few people think of you, because that's not a reflection of who you are. You know, you can't allow that to supersede and overtake everything else, and you know, like make you worry so much that you're losing sleep over it. When you have to look
at the percentage. If, for example, it's fifty percent of people saying negative things and fifty percent of people saying positive things, well then you've probably got a bit of a problem because that's not a very good skew when it comes to business. But if you have five percent saying negative things and ninety five percent giving you positive reviews, then I would say cool, there's a bit.
Of room for improvement there.
But ultimately you have a great, robust business and that's where you should be focusing your energy onto. So just to wrap this up, I think it is a good quality that you worry about it because it shows that you want growth. Do I think that you should worry yourself into an early grave and change everything about your business because a few people think negative things. No, I think you just fucking get up, work hard, and just continue. Yeah.
The only person you need to impress is you well, and also you and everyone that needs to buy a product.
Okay, final question.
I'm currently thirty four weeks pregnant and my husband and I have not had sex in weeks. Prior to this, we had a very healthy sex life. I've brought it up multiple times with him, and he has said that it's difficult to have sex with me while I have such a big tummy. He tries to reassure me by saying, I'm beautiful, bit it's time had to be sexually attracted to me when I'm pregnant. I've suggested we try other positions where my belly isn't visible to him, which he says, yeah,
we can try it, but then still nothing happens. I also know he often masturbates. It's already hard to see my body going through all these changes, but to also feel undesired by my husband hits even harder. Is it normal for your partner to not want to be intimate with you when you are at this stage of pregnancy. I worry that if we don't have sex until after the six weeks baby is born that there's going to be an immense pressure on it. I don't know what
else to do to encourage him. Is a massive hit to my confidence every single time he shuts me down. Is it normal?
Help?
What do I do?
This is such a hard one because I think that every relationship is different, and I think that so many people go through some challenging times when it comes to sex and it comes to pregnancy, because sometimes it's the other way around. Sometimes it's women who don't feel comfortable wanting to have sex with their partners when they're pregnant, and sometimes it's their partner. For me, Matt has a weird pregnancy fetish and he wants to have sex up until the time. And when I say this, I mean
like he wants to have sex. We mean more when I'm pregnant. That's why I say it's he's pregnant. Yeah, I mean he's normally like once a week, and when I'm pregnant, he's like he would. Yes, it's a lot,
and I'm tired. I need him to stop. So, but even for Matt, so it got to a point I think I might have been thirty seven weeks pregnant, and something clicked in him at thirty seven weeks and he wasn't interested in having sex anymore, and he would do it begrudgingly, like if I was like, come on, and he would be like ah, because he well, I think by that point in time, the idea that there was a very real baby in the room was sexually off putting for him, like it made him not want to
have sex, because he was like, it's not just you.
And me in the bedroom.
There is a fulled human right there that sometimes moves around. When I've got my hands on your stomach, I can feel it, like it makes me not be thinking and be in the moment.
It can definitely well I imagine it would be pulling your mind elsewhere totally.
And so I mean, and you as the carrier of the baby, you with the baby inside you, you're feeling those movements all the time, so you're very in tune with the fact that there is a baby there, and it's almost like you don't care anymore, Like I know I didn't care anymore. I was like whatever, you know, it didn't affect me sexually, and if anything, I think it makes you horny. It for a lot of people when you're pregnant to say that you're like, it's unfair,
like you're super horny. Then they'd also tell you that like having sex will bring on the pregnancy. But then you've got a partner who doesn't want to have sex with you, and you're like, you're not doing your job.
That's when you need the salad tongs vibran.
But like I said, every single person is different, And the only reason why I want to give your partner like almost the benefit of the doubt, like play Devil's advocate for your partner is because if you had a really healthy sex life before pregnancy and also during it up until this point, I think that you will probably end up going back to having a really healthy sex life after pregnancy, and maybe you're just in a bit
of a weird transitional phase. I think if you are not there at the six mens, let's say, ten weeks after or four months after, whatever it is for you that you need to get back into having like a regular sex life, I think that then it would be a time to start really going okay, is there a problem here? But I do think at this period there needs to be a bit of leeway both ways. Does
that mean that you can't be intimate with each other? No, And I think it's really important to kind of define and break down the difference between intimacy and having sex. He might not feel comfortable having penetrative sex at the moment, but he should still feel comfortable with being intimate with you and making you feel wanted and loved and desirable. All those things are still important and he still needs
to be putting an effort in that area. He just doesn't have to have sex right now if he doesn't feel comfortable either.
I wonder, And I've never been pregnant, so I don't know. I can't comment from a personal experience, but I wonder if you can sit down and have a conversation and say, like, I still feel like I need this. I still feel like I want to have that connection and intimacy because it makes me feel wanted. Yeah, you do definitely need to respect each other. So you also need to respect the fact that he doesn't feel like it and he
is telling you he still thinks you're beautiful. He just whatever the reason is, he doesn't want to go to that length. Can you sit down and can he get you off with toys. Can you still have this fun in the bedroom and this closeness and you can still have this sexual connection without it being penetrative sex. So maybe that is something you could look at. Maybe you could introduce some things I might excite him as well.
If it's not something that you usually do, if you don't usually play with those kind of things in the bedroom, maybe that could be something where it.
Does get him excited.
You don't know, but I think you just have to have an honest conversation and say, I mean you could just be like you get really horny when you're pregnant, Like I want to have his connection. I want to have some sort of level of sexual contact.
What can we do one hundred percent? And I think you could even say, I know you've said you don't want to have sex at the moment, let's take sex off the table then until after the baby's born.
But I still want you to make me come.
I still like here it is power, like use your hands, use this tool, whatever it is that you want. You can ask for that near relationship. And if that's then a no, if there's a no to intimacy, then that I think is a bigger problem. But I do think
that pregnancy is an unusual time for everyone. And I used to think, no, fuck that, like, yes, your body's changing, but he should still be You know, I have changed my feelings towards that because the more I've spoken to my friends who have had babies, the more I've spoken to women, I know how much it can change your sex life for that period and also for the period after the baby is born. You may feel touched out, you may not want to have sex, like it's a
real transitional time. But I think if you had a really healthy sex life before having a baby, there's absolutely no reason why you can't have a really healthy sex life after having a baby. So long as you're both prioritizing it and you come back to each.
Other, well, I think that's it.
Dun da da dun dua.
I feel like that is it for us as well. Anyway, Guys, we hope that you loved the episode pretty hockly In case you didn't know, I do love you.
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