Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
I'm Laura.
I think Laura's like a small child that's over tired. You don't the kids get overtired and they got you need a nap? Do you need a nap? Do you need a lead out?
Yeah?
I need a nap. No, I'm excited.
What about Well, we were gonna have Ben on this episode, but we decided to put him on a bit of ice, put him on you know, like we thought, let's not give you too much too soon. So he's coming on next week, I think all the week after. But we've recorded it. We did like a little interview with him.
It was cute, not like.
An interview that we did on the last episode. We got to know because you asked for it. More about who is better.
I don't know why.
There's still part of me there things that you guys are not that interested in my life.
So I guess when we had.
This entire podcast is based on talking absolute smack about our lives. So it shocks me that after four and a half years, you're like, yeah, I think that you guys don't really care about the fact that I finally have fallen in love and have a healthy relationship.
I guess the thing is you don't want to make it presumptuous, like I want to assume that you guys want to do that. But we said that Ben was going to come on the Ask gun Cut and we sort of introed him to you guys a couple of days ago. But the thing that I guess surprised me is we more said, like, if you've got questions to ask Guncut, the male skewed thro them in because Ben
can answer them. But there were so many questions that came in genuinely saying can we get to know Ben, you know, asking questions specifically to Ben about Ben, about his upbringing, about he and I.
But also we kind of just did both.
So we just finished an episode with Ben where we had a bit more of a flash our interview with him and also him answering your listener questions from a male's perspective. That'll be coming out next week or the week after. But we I thought, why not Britt, just you and me sit down, have a chat. That's what we do every week, or would get back to basics?
Can I just add one thing though?
When you say that you think people won't be interested, is it because that this is like the healthiest version of a relationship and you only think people will be interested when shit is not going well?
No, I don't know.
I just never like to re assume it makes an ass out of you and me. That's the same, that's what they say.
I genuinely don't know why.
I just didn't want to assume that people would want a whole episode of Ben, but they do. Look, I'll have him back as many times as you want. If you want him back, he can come back.
Like one question that came in a lot of times was around how you guys navigate privacy, which I think is very interesting, especially for somebody who's not in the public eye in terms of like, he's not like a media personality, he's not necessarily comfortable with sharing lots about his personal life. Then you have a podcast where we talk about sex and you know, everything else. So we did get into answering all that that is coming up. But you know what, we've got other things to do first.
Oh yeah, So I'm actually this weekend go back home to put McCrary. It's a very big moment in my life. Ben is going to meet my family.
Is he's not met anyone from your family? Still found never met Sherry, which is the crazy thing.
But he's never met Sherry.
No, And it's the crazy thing because now Sherry's gone overseas to Scotland and he's here and they've still never met. So he's meeting my the rest of my family, which I'm one of four.
I don't even know if think guys know that. I've got two.
Brothers and the sister. So there's four, my mom and dad. So the six they've got their kids. They're all bringing their kids. So it's a big family event. All Ben is requested is one thing, a barbecue. He wants a real Aussie barberue.
Oh mate, they're going to get that and put McCrory. Oh my god.
My brother's going to take him fishing. They're going to get the fish for it. It's going to be a whole thing. You're maybe eating nothing. I'm slightly concerned. I'm concerned.
Is there any part of you that feels nervous introducing like your new west newest boyfriend.
Yeah, I do take one home weekly, bi weekly sometimes. No, you know what I mean.
When you have a new partner and you've got to introduce to the family obviously, like Ben is very likable, he's lovely. Is there any part of you that's nervous about it? No, there really isn't. There really isn't.
My family is so open and they're so lovely, and they're so welcoming. And they've spoken to him before on FaceTime, so we facetimed a lot. They know their little characteristics and they chat. So I'm really not that nervous. I'm actually really excited for it. I feel like it's for some reason. I feel like it's what's going to be the moment that makes it real. I know it's real, he exists, it's real.
He's not Ai. No, he's not Ai.
But when it gets when families collide, I feel like it's the thing.
Was like, oh, this is actually a thing.
Well, I think because when your family has become invested in each other, it's like there's more at stake as well.
Have you ever had.
An incidence where you have introduced your family to someone who you liked or were in a relationship with and it went poorly?
Oh my god, yes, do I name names? If you care? Do I name names? Tim Hanley? Oh you're family? I forgod? Fuck? Oh my fucking I forgot about him. Do we even want to rehash that?
Oh?
Yeah?
Was I think you?
You?
Okay? Guys?
Fuck, this is a blast in the past. Brittany for Brittany did Bachelor in Paradise. Men, she ended up with Tim Hanley. Men to go engage and happy and like living in.
A great life.
We're having a baby, and my god, having babies, like you know, the things that can happen in a few short years.
He's doing really well, and we love to see it. We love to see it. But he met your family.
Once, oh my god, once, And I met his family once. We menaches family, and then it just went downhill rapidly. It was like, yeah, it was like we strapped on a weight vest and rolled ourselves down a hill. That's how quickly we went down. I am so sorry I asked that question.
I'm sorry because it felt like a setup and I just genuinely forgot I had erased him from my memory.
You set me up and I just hit that. Yeah, I'm so glad anyway, you now have you because you laughed. Oh my god, he'sa just sitting here asking what the fuck happens?
It just it's a long story.
Well, I feel like we're on the Truman Show, like it wasn't real. That's how I feel like, looking back now, like years later, with the wealth of knowledge and wisdom, wisdom and that I've developed it behind side that I have when I look back on my stint on reality TV and realize what the fuck was they doing?
I look back now and I'm like, it was the Truman Show.
I feel like if I walked a little bit further into the ocean in Fiji while filming, I would hit the wall.
That's what I feel like. It actually blows my mind that you did that. I completely see it. Anyway, do it? I did. I thought it would be great law content. Laura blows my mind. You did that also, Laura, you should really go do that show.
I was like, you might.
Get a boyfriend out of it, and if you don't, we'll have shit to talk about.
Why do you get to do the wholesome shows like Dance with the Stars and you throw me to the walls.
To be fair, everybody dancing with the Stars as this Sunday night, Channel seven, seven thirty prayers segway. If you've got nothing else to do on your Sunday, just sit there, fire up the old what do we call the old TV?
It's not old and you call it a TV and you don't fire it up, You just just fire it up. They click her out, they call seven. Should I say I'm not dancing. I'm not dancing on this episode.
I'm dancing on next week's episode, but I feel like you should watch this week's episode for the warm up. Matt Preston's dancing on. It's gonna be great.
Well. Also, you're up in the skybox thing, so like teams watch other performers, so.
We might get I come out and I wave. Then I'm wearing like a gold dress and you can c he says Diana.
You don't get to come out on you up on your podium and do your way anyway.
Look, guys, I just wanted to remind you it's happening this Sunday. If if you're not doing anything and you're at home with the kids, just turn it on.
It's wholesome TV.
You know who wasn't doing something with the kids? Bella Montoya.
Oh this is a terrible segue. Well is it? I thought it was pretty cool. Well, I mean she was doing nothing because she was dead.
Yeah, and then she knocked on the door because she wasn't dead. Okay, we need let's give some background.
There's something else you.
Want to talk about before we get into answering your deep dark questions.
And it's look, it's very interesting.
Yeah, a seventy six year old woman, it's actually hard to believe. Her name is Bella Montoya. She's from Ecuador, so she very never been there. I have really Yeah, yeah, I did a whole big stin in South and Central America for like a year, lovely with it like it was nice, plenty of people coming back to life. No, well no, it was really sad, so don't joke about it. Laura Bella is seventy six, and she passed away and it was very very sad. And in Ecuador, things happened
really fast. So within four or five hours, they were having a wake and they were having a funeral for her because they don't have.
Okay, it moves quickly because they don't have like the fridges that we have here where they keep people cold. So the funeral happens very shortly after being announced dead.
Apparently she had a heart attack and she died. She was like the doctors confirmed her dead. They told the family. Everyone was alerted.
They're very quick, very sad. They very quickly planned the funeral. Four hours later, they're at the funeral.
Everyone is really upset morning, and you know, the coffin is displayed up the front at the end of the aisle, and then there's like the silence while people are upset, and then they.
Just hear like a And I'll let me tell you, no one was at the front door. She was inside. She wasn't dead.
She's inside the coffin and she woke up and she was like where am I? She was knocking on the coffin door, and then they opened it and she was well and truly alive.
Okay, this is literally everybody's worst hockey' nice.
Nightmare, but I think we've gotten a bit embellishing with the details.
No, no, it was an open casket.
She just started spluttering for air and then she crawled out of the fucking casket and everyone was like, oh my god, she's alive.
On this wasn't the ring.
She didn't crawl out, Laura talk about embellishing this story.
No, I've got a quote here. Okay, we're not embellishing.
Her left hand was hitting the side of the coffin and it was shaking. Missus Montoya's son Gilbert said, so he saw the side.
It was open. But obviously she's knocking on the side because she's in there. What do we think. Do we think that she was like resurrected or do we think she was never dead? She was not dead? Well, how do we think this happened?
Maybe there was a doctor he got his doctor's license out of a vending machine. You'd really be thinking about getting a second on every other death that occurs in your family.
Hey, well, I reckon it was a cardio respiratory arrest, right, And what they've said happens is you can go into a translate condition marked by rigidity of the body, decrease sensitivity to pain, and a slower bodily function. So I reckon she was like a quite slow breathing as well, So it can stop for a bit so, I reckon, they walked up just at the moment had stopped, whacked a hand on the poles, didn't feel it for a second, and or like she's passed, took it away and then she she wasn't.
No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
But if you're going to declare someone dead, you check it for more than a couple of seconds. You maybe even come back two minutes later and check it again, like no, one's not got a polese for multiple check it four times. If you're going to go so fast from announcing someone dead to burying them, you want to be really, really sure that they're actually dead.
Do you know what? The only positive is? The only positive is if it was me.
I don't reckon.
I would alert anyone straight away. I'd be like, let's see what suckers a crying? Let's see whose morning my death? Who turned up here? What are they saying?
Are there speeches? Britt?
I think if you found yourself waking up in a coffin, you would alert people pretty looking quickly. I don't think you'd be like, let's see who's here and then wait until they're like shoveling in some dirt before you make it known.
All right, this has gone far enough for everybody. I'd pop up after half an hour. I'd be like, Benny, why haven't you shed a tear yet? That'd be me, Okay.
I know everyone says that they'd like to be a fly on the wall at their own funeral, but I don't think I would.
I would Why what are you gonna get out of it? Exactly what I said.
I want to know who's crying. I want to like who who showed up, who didn't show up? How many exes turn up? Because I reckon? They'd be I reckon too? Would you reckon two of your exes? I reckon my first day?
This is pretty big cool? I reckon my first ex. Would I reckon?
Yeah?
I swear him for eight years? But awkward if he doesn't.
I would have thought some of my exes might, But the amount of smack I've talked about them on this podcast.
They turn up to make sure you're actually there, they're like, God, she's she's gone.
Absolutely not coming anymore, that's for sure.
So if you got the choice to look over your funeral, you wouldn't. I think it would just make me very sad.
Yeah, I would, hope that you lot Mitch during included Keisha, my sister Sherry. I hope everyone would be making jokes. I hope they'd be like a rap.
Maybe we would be making jokes about how the fact that you're probably still alive and knocking.
Oh she's probably yeah, this probably isn't even her.
Let's be real though, I mean, turns out it was good that she was getting buried and she wasn't sent off to be cremated.
Absolutely, Sorry, that was a bit far, wasn't it. All Right?
Look, you know what, I feel like we should probably get into answering some of the questions because this is gonna be triggering for someone.
Oh yeah, And to be clear, the only reason we're discussing it is because she is doing well. She she was not harmed in the making of this funeral.
Of the funeral.
Alright, let's get into our vibes. I'm gonna I'm bringing a vibe this week. Too much information. I have my period. When I get my period, I break out. I get little pimples, little tiny ones, not acne, but I get pimples every month.
To the dot, there is something called tb H that's the brand.
Now I reckon there are multiple brands, so I don't want to single out one brand, but it's the one I use.
TB H. Patch it up. It's a little tiny clear pimple patch. You use them more time. It's true. He just using them all time too.
I actually just gave Mitch a hug and I saw one on his face, and I thought that I had transferred my pimple patch to his. And I was like, oh my god, I put my patch on the sided.
Why didn't I? Yeah, but you just think that when you like rub and faces, that it could roll off.
But they're tiny, little clear patches that if you get a pimple, there's a in the packet. There's all these different sizes and you just peel off a tiny patch. You put it on whatever pimples you've got, and you I mean, I got a bed in it.
I sleep in them. I always wondered if these things were decent.
Thought I used to do the whole like paste, it's so bad for your skin, don't Okay, this is my non recommendation. When we were kids, we got to old put toothpaste on your skin. Doesn't it literally burns you. It is a terrible thing, and it gives you x mount don't do toothpaste.
Makes it so much dry. I was doing it until about six months ago. No joke.
As an adults, still put toothbaste on my face. Still something you stop doing when you're fourteen, not me. No, keep it going. Well Off the back of that, I actually have two recommendations. Both of them are low brow.
I don't think they're going to change anyone's life, but look, I've quite enjoyed them. Mine have a strip, I have another patch thing that's a recommendation. If you want to whiten your teeth and you haven't tried them, the Oral B whitening strips. They are freaking amazing. Go and buy the Oral B whitening strips and give them a crack. You can get them from literally any grocery store and they are amazing.
To be clear, our Vibes and unsubscribes are never sponsored.
Just to be clear, like, oh yeah, this is dropping brand names for free.
I have no.
I mean, it's a shame because I'm sure Oral B have a lot of money, but it is absolutely not sponsored. This is just shit that we like that's happening in our lives. The other one is also extremely low bra. If you're someone who spends all the time on TikTok, you may already know their TikTok account. It's a person called Purple Pingers. Look, he's got one hundred and twenty seven thousand followers.
He's not a drug dealer.
He's not a drug dealer. He's had three point three
million views on his videos. But basically keep us and in this current climate of like terrible rentals and the rental market and the housing market, he creates very very funny, satirical videos about the shit rental crisis within Australia and he calls it shit rentals, and he basically finds the worst rental properties that are being listed for the X amount of money and then he does like a tour around them and they're so funny and I really fucking
enjoy the way he does it. It really makes you feel a bit depress about what's happening in the current economical climate. But that's my recommendation. Question number one, should people ask first before posting photos of other people's children? Now, I know that I myself have always asked in the instance that I was going to post a photo of my friend's baby or somebody's baby or kid who I know, whether it be on stories or on social media or a post whatever.
But recently I had a child of my own.
Now a few people have asked when they have shared photos to Instagram if they could post photos of my baby, But a lot of people haven't, and I've noticed that this has been happening increasingly and it makes me feel really frustrated that they don't check with me first whether it's okay for them to post photos of my child. Am I totally overthinking it? Would love to hear your views on what is the etiquette on posting photos of other people's kids.
I think this one's going to be heavily you, Laura, because it's really hard to have an opinion when I don't have a child and know what that is like to have that child exposed on people's social media. It's hard for me, I would imagine when I think about my friends. I do have some really close friends that I have taken pictures of their kids before, or group photos with all of us and putting them on and
it's been fine. I've also done it before with a friend that's like, hey, I don't really want that on there, and I took it down straight away. That was I mean, it was probably about eighteen months ago, but it was a story and it wasn't just of the child, but the child was in it.
But I didn't ask for that one.
It didn't cross my mind to And that was maybe a level of ignorance I had because I had never thought about it because I don't.
Have kids, totally agreed, you know, before I had children. I remember one of my really good girlfriends had had her first baby and I'd just come off the back of batch and I remember I went and saw her and I took a photo and posted it, and she messaged me and she said, hey, you have a lot of people following you who you don't know. Can you please take it down? And that was probably the first time where I even really thought about it. I think
at the time I didn't have kids myself. I was also new to the whole social media thing and didn't really I was just excited and wanted to share in my excitement by sharing a photo, of course, but didn't really think about what impact that would have on her or in the way that she wanted her child to be represented online. The reason why I think that there isn't a black and white opinion on this is because I mean, firstly, one, I think it is always the
respectful thing to ask. If you're going to post a photo of somebody else's kid, ask to get permission. I mean, even if they post photos of their child themselves, it's always nice to make sure that the parent is okay with that photo being shared, because the parent might see
something in that photo that you haven't seen. It could be, for example, that the little kid skirt is hitched up, or there's something about the photo that you, as a non parent of that child, don't think is an issue, but that parent might look at that and go, oh no, I don't want that on social media for my kids. So I think always ask. Yeah.
There might all be reasons that you don't know about, or that they don't want to share the reasons that they don't want the.
Kid online as well. So I think it's definitely inadequacy.
Now, well to That's what I was going to say, because I think it's a bit of a gray area. Say, for example, me, like I do share pictures of my kids very curated. I choose the things that I share of my children online. But I think that sometimes people interpret that as though it is totally fine for them to share photos of my children, and I would say more often than not, friends and family share pictures of our kids without checking or without asking, and normally it's fine.
I don't think that there's been really a situation that's made me go I wish that that one hadn't been shared. But there's definitely been times where, you know, it was earlier on say, for example, when Laula was a really little baby or Maley was really little, and I was still nabating what I did or didn't feel comfortable with. I think that that probably was a bit more of
an issue for me then. So I do think that it's kind of a bit of a gray area because when you're someone who's posts your kids online, it almost green lights other people to do the same. But if you're somebody who never posts photos of your children online, I think that people are more inclined to ask whether or not they should or shouldn't do it, you know, I mean, it's almost like you've created that benchmark. But I think as a parent it's okay to communicate that.
You can say it to your friends and to your family. Hey, if you're gonna take photos of you know, my little one, whatever their name is. If you're gonna post it, can you please check with me first before you do it, because it is weird to post photos of other people's kids without checking.
I think, just yeah, just do the respectful thing. Be on the safe sign. If you don't know, it's better to ask.
If your little finger is hovering over the post button and you're like should I shouldn't I.
Then you shouldn't. If you're wondering, don't do it. Just ask the question. But don't you think most people do?
Though?
Like I would say most people share photos of other people's kids without having a second thought.
One hundred percent would have shared a photo of Lola or Maley. Yeah, totally, one hundred percent. Like I'm thinking, I can peak ship.
I don't do it a lot because I don't see them a lot anymore because we're just such like workers.
But I can think of photos that I've posted.
Having said that, there was probably an undercurrent in me that knew that that was okay, but I didn't ask, And that doesn't mean it's okay. But it'd be like a selfie of us at the office or working or when they were looking cute, you know, fully closed whatever, But that doesn't matter.
I'm still showing a child's face. But yeah, there are definitely.
Times where you're like, oh, well, I know that Laura would post this, so it's probably okay for me to put Lola Derby on my.
Story, do you know.
It's a really interesting one because, like when you think about celebrities who post photos of their kids and paparazzi photos, So if a celebrity doesn't share photos of their children on their social media, paparazzis have to blur out their faces.
So if they put their photo.
So for example, if just say Ryan Reynolds is getting photos taken of him down the street with Blake Lovely, and there's photos of the kids in those photos, Daily Mail will have to blur the faces out of those children when they publish the photos because the parents don't share images. But for example, if you are somebody who shares images of your children on social media, the paparazzi don't have to blur out images of their faces. So
there's almost like different rules that apply. If you're somebody who shares pictures of your kids, and I guess that that's why it's confusing for other people because if you're okay with sharing it, then it kind of green lights other people to think that they should be okay with sharing it too.
But maybe it is something.
That we need to be more like yeah, and have more conversations around and actually check with the people who are in your life if they want their kids to be shared in that way.
I didn't want to say anything, but sometimes you post Elilah and you don't ask me.
No one's asked you. Yeah, it's not her best question. It's so beautiful. Okay, question number two, this is a really good one. Am I being stingy?
My partner and I recently went over to our friend's place. They are a couple for dinner. They invited us over. They've recently moved out of home. It was just going to be a really nice night in. Before we went over, we asked them, whatever run, Hey, do you want us to bring anything? They responded with, nope, We've got all the ingredients. We'll just let you know how much it works out to be so we can split the cost. What.
Yes, Now, my partner and I have been I think I know where you're going with this.
Now. My partner and I have been living out of home for three years. We've had these friends over multiple times, and we have never asked them to transfer us half the food bill. They ended up getting us to give them fifteen dollars for dinner, which obviously isn't much.
It's not about the money.
It's more about the principle that we've had them over multiple times and we have never asked for anything. We don't even ask them to bring anything. The context, we're twenty three slash twenty four years old. I get that the cost of living is high, but this seems pretty ridiculous.
Right. Have I been stingy?
Or is it appropriate to ask guests to transfer when they've invited you to their house for dinner.
I am mortified.
I am mortified that the dinner cost them fifteen dollars that they had to take over for the.
Take a bottle of bloody wine.
You don't ask people coming to your house for fifteen dollars. Different if you guys are doing like, you know, like some sort of like fancy cooking thing, and you're like, Okay, I'm going to do this great, big, beautiful meal put on and your friend has kind of asked you to host, like, oh, you know, you can't come to my house. I don't have enough space. Can we do it at your house?
Then everyone pitches in. But if your friend has invited you over for dinner and you could have gone out for dinner, they've invited you over, you've had them over before, and then they asked you for fifteen dollars, they are a tight ass, which also makes me think maybe they're doing it really tough.
Maybe they're really in a bad spot. Well, if you're in that much of a bad spot, I don't know.
If you invite people over for dinner, maybe maybe you do it a different way, right, maybe you say, hey, what fifteen dollars? I think you've got to say it when you do the setup, when you do the invitation, you've got to say, hey, why don't we all chip in, have a pizza knight or something, you know, like make it really at the start, Like if you're struggling, which a lot of people are. If you're struggling, but you want to invite people over, set the ground standards, then
be like, hey, let's come over. Let's throw in twenty bucks each, get a bottle of wine, We'll order some takeaway, we'll play some card games, whatever, but set the standard.
You cannot say, come to dinner, but BYO bring fifteen.
Dollars, you can't. You absolutely can't. Look I mean you, I mean you can because your friend did it. You did They did it, they did it. In this instance, what would I do? I would pay the fifteen dollars and I would never say anything because it's just awkward for everyone. But if you're listening to this and you've ever invited people over and then thought I'm gonna ask them for fifteen dollars to pay for their own meal, it's just one of those instances where you shouldn't.
I think, do you know?
I think?
And it does suck because the more I think about it, I'm like, well, maybe they really are doing it tough. But I think another thing to do, if you'll and I'm talking directly to the couple that have asked for the fifteen dollars.
Now they didn't write it, they're not listening. I don't care.
But what should have happened was when they said can I bring anything? Maybe then you say, oh, it'd be great to bring a bottle of wine, or why don't you bring a dessert, like you know, like I'll do the mains.
Yeah, sure, throw it, because I think that's it's fine.
If a friend invited me to dinner and I said can I bring anything, and they said grab a dessert, I wouldn't think twice about that because I'm like, yeah, I definitely.
Want to come and contribute, but it's that No, we'll just do the grocery shop it and just pay half of.
It totally, or even like bring a salad, bring the side dish to the meal, whatever it is, like some sort of some sort of meal contribution is nowhere near as offensive as asking for a monetary contribution, especially especially when the money is such a small amount, like fifteen dollars is a small amount, which is what makes it feel more trivial, And that's what makes me go either they're in a real bind and that fifteen dollars is really important, or they are a tight ass and they've
literally like a penny pinched and counted out how much each meal has cost and said, well, you owe us fifteen dollars for this.
Yeah.
Maybe they think that's how you dinner party. I don't know, Yeah, maybe they've not dinner partied much.
Maybe they're young, and they're twenty three, twenty fours, and this is the first time they've had people over to their house and they are going to get a rude shock.
But I think the other part of this is if they have come to your house many times and never ask and you've never asked for anything, I think it just sets a really odd tone, Like it sets a really odd kind of like benchmark that it's okay for them to come over and eat your food and enjoy your hospitality, but then they're not going to do the same in return. And it also means that next time you're never gonna want to go up to their house for dinner again.
And the funny thing is, and why is that just a social expectation, I guess, But the thing is, like it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
Because the food was bad, even though it shouldn't.
Though it's fifteen bucks, it shouldn't bothery that much, but it sort of does because.
You're like, well, I always invite you for dinner, Like why have you?
It's an unusual I think the reason why leaves a bad taste in your mouth is because it feels like it's not generous. You know, usually when you invite people over, it's because you're offering something. You're offering entertainment or you're offering hospitality. You are welcoming people into your home, and it feels unwelcoming to sit down and kind of itemize
what they have had in your house. And it's that like, okay, well you had one glass of wine, and you had a glass of tap water, and you had a juice. You owe me seven dollars fifty. It just feels like it lacks generosity. And that's why I think people are more or offended by it when it's a small amount rather than when it's a bigger amount. Yeah, go back. It's like going on a date and having some guy
be like, can you please pay two dolls? Well, no, no coffee, two dolls, but pay five dollars fifty for your coffee.
It's like literally every data went on in my twenties. You need to pay for that sandwich.
Yes, yes, we all know the great sanwich saga of my twenties.
All right, question number three.
Girls, I need your expertise. This is a good one. I have feelings.
My partner and I have been together for almost ten months now. We live together. We are madly in love and talking about our future blah blah blah blah blah. But he doesn't want our relationship on social media. He doesn't want our relationship status on there. He doesn't want any photos on Insta, et cetera. He doesn't mind when I put up photos on mine, but he doesn't like
anything on his. Is this strange or fairly normal? I'm very much a if I'm in a relationship with my partner, then I'm going to put it on social media kind of person. But he doesn't want anything on his at all.
Look, I understand why that is upsetting, because when you're in love and social media, we put so much weight and importance on social media. We really do this generation, and I don't necessarily think we should. But when you're in love, especially neely in love, even not even newly in love, but it's a part of your day to day, you want everyone to know.
You want to tell the world about it. You want shout it.
You get a great photo, sexy photo, beautiful photo, impromptuy, photoshop at the louver, whatever it is, you want to put it on your head.
You want to print them up and put them in your lounge roop, you make a shrine.
But it is an important part of people's world now. One thing I have learned because I used to be in that position, and I used to crave the day I could be on someone social media, mainly because I craved the day that someone loved me enough, was proud of me enough to do.
That the validation of earth, just to want to to be proud.
And one thing I've realized now is that just doesn't mean anything, especially if he's not asking you to keep it off yours, he's not trying to keep it a secret. I'd be more alarmed if he was saying I don't want you to post me, that would be alarm bells. But when he's saying to you do what you want, but it's not my thing, like I post Bean all the time when I'm with him. I think he's put one photo op of me in our relationship in the last like seven eight months, and I'm okay with that.
I have a few feelings.
I'm probably not as okay with it as you are, brit but for different reasons. And I think that there are a lot of questions you need to ask yourself because I don't think this is something that can be black and white. My questions are, does he frequently use social media and post to social media often about his life and his day. If the answer is yes, and you're the only part of it that he's excluding, then yeah,
that's really weird. If it's a photography account, if he only posts photos of dogs photographer, you know, if he only post photos of his food, then fine, Like I get it. But if he's posting from his life and he uses social media actively but he refuses to have anything of you on there, then I think that that is weird. Does he allow you to tag him in photos?
You allow to post photos on your account, and then when you tag him in the photos, he leaves the tag active so you can go to tag photos or is he like.
You can't exist of my Yeah, I don't want any.
Trace of me and you together, because I mean, it's one thing to have photos of them, but then for them to be no.
Trace of it on their account, you know.
And I guess, like, what is his reasoning for not wanting to be in a relationship with you on Facebook? Like what is the reasons that he's giving you when you say, hey, I want to change my relationship status to in a relationship with my boyfriend who I live with. It's not like you've just started dating totally. What does
he say back to this? And the only reason why I feel skeptic of this is because I dated someone who also didn't want me on social media, who didn't want anything public on his social media, who never ever would accept my friend to the point where I would send him a relationship request and he would deny it and thought it was funny. But the reason why he was doing that was because he was a piece of shit and was cheating.
On me totally. But I don't think that's what this girl is.
No, I don't think that this is black and white. I'm not saying that because he doesn't put you on new social media that that's the outcome she's please please.
Him.
No, But what I'm saying is that one version is way more telling, and one version of it is way more deceitful than the other. You know, if he's not someone who uses social media much, if it's not something that plays a big role in his life, if he doesn't seem to care about it at all, then I understand why he doesn't post you.
But if it's a big part of his life.
If he's really proactive on it and you're the only part that's missing, then that's when I would say, alarm bell should be ringing for you.
Yeah, And I just think, I mean, what I have taken from this is the fact that you've said he does let you pretty much do what you want.
He couldn't care less on yours. It does make me.
Think I don't think there's anything deceitful going on. I don't think there's anything malicious, like you know, I think he's probably just it's just not his jam and I could be wrong.
You're only going to know yourself.
But how does it go with like PDA is what I want to know, Like, is he someone who's really against like public displays of affection as well? Or is he quite happy to be like a PDA person in public?
Some people are also just private people.
Yeah, Like even I'm I'm just relating it back to me now. I just went and checked again because I didn't know what Ben posts, but I just double checked. He's definitely only posted one thing of me ever in existence. He doesn't really do stories. I mean, he doesn't do anything. And we have spoken he's just a really private person. And it's not to say he's not going to but he's also like he's very deep and he's very meaningful, and he's like, well, this is, you know, a moment we're sharing.
I'll remember this, like I don't need to put it, you know. And I'm so okay with that because.
I've gotten to a point where I'm like a fucking rather a really good person that I trust that doesn't post me to like a sociopath that has a double life, you know, and that's the reason he wants to keep me on social media. Don't read too much into it. If you don't think anything deceitful was going on. If you actually completely have worries that there's another reason, totalterior motive, then listen to that and have a chat to rom about it. But at the end of the day, just
don't don't worry about what other people think. If he's not posting, you, don't worry about it. Like, at the end of the day, it only matters that your relationship behind closed doors, the way you treat each other and the love and respect you have for each other.
Well, I think one thing that you just said, Ben britt As well, is just like if you don't suspect that there's anything else, like you know, you know if it comes from a deceitfuol place, because your intuition and your body would be telling you that they're lying. And that was very much the case in my instance. I was like, well, there's a reason like you well personally,
and I think I can read between the lines. But if you're saying that this is someone who you do trust and that they're penguin, I think the only thing that I keep coming back to is that if they are prolific on social media, but they're leaving you out of it, then I would be asking questions as to why, like are they not proud of me? Do you not want to share our relationship? Is there somebody that you're
hiding it from? They're the questions I would be asking if they're posting all the time and they just aren't posting you, because the difference with you, Britt as well is like you don't see Ben every day. He's in another country, so you only see him for short period. She lives with this guy.
Oh, she's a part of you. Every day. I'm making Ben post me when he's here. I'm like, I'm gone on your groom. It's gonna happen. Yeah, I'm going on the.
Grid Because now you've realized and you've already been on there once.
You're like, mate, it's about time.
Look now, I said this out loud. Catch up your fucking game. I'm like, we've got plenty of great photos.
I'm like, we look great enough. You post You're like, how have you already raised some one?
Foe?
Now I can see it in your eyes. You're like, fuck this calling you.
No, I don't really care, but there are definitely grid posts coming in if you want to follow it.
I don't really care. Everything's fun.
I'm so fine anyway, guys, that is it from us. If you love the episode, If you have any questions to ask on Cut, please slide into the DMS at Life on Cut podcast. You can also join us on the Facebook group it is Life un Cut Discussion group and on the TikTok which is Life on Cut podcast.
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