Guys, Welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.
I'm Brittany and I am Laura, and I was like, hold on, I have something that I need to ask you before we get into today's episode. Britt, I feel like you've got a little bit of explaining to do.
Oh hang on, what about There's a multitude of things that I need to explain.
Currently, you're making out with a man named Tim on our TV all that. Yeah, you wonder, let's talk about it. Surprised, How do you feel like a bit portrayed? Are you? Are you expecting that? No, not expecting it, Like, very surprised. But I loved Tim on Antie season. He was my absolute favorite. I was kind of like a little bit jilted that Anie didn't choose Tim. So now it's kind of weird. It's just weird. It's I feel betrayed that you haven't told me all of these things. And I
know that I know they told you. I didn't want to know, and I kind of like put that between us. But now that it's happening on TV, and so has everybody else who was invested in this podcast, britt on our on our Facebook discussion group, a lot of you guys are like trying to figure out what has happened, and you're all doing the investigation work. I actually saw that someone had posted in our Facebook group a photo of BRIT's house and a photo from wherever Tim has
been and was trying to like match the location. They were trying to match the timber. It was insane the timber. I thought you were making a pun.
There, Oh, Tim, Tim, They were trying to match the timber. I thought that was insane. But I love yeah, the I like this blue thing, guys. It's very, very dedicated.
When Britt went and did Paradise, I made the conscious and committed effort that I don't want to know anything because I think that that could then compromise our ability to do this podcast properly. And part of the rules around Britt doing Paradise is that she can't talk about it any more than what actually happens on the TV. So I didn't want to be then in a position where I knew things and it would just be a
fucking shit sandwich. So we just didn't go there. So I'm finding out this stuff at the same time that you're finding it out, and it makes me feel just as weird as it makes you feel. That's how I feel about this anyway. I'm excited about Tim, and I know that you can't say a lot more. Yeah, you were actually really good.
And thank you because you didn't put any pressure on me because you know that I can't say it, but I wanted to. You never asked me, you never drilled it into me. So I appreciate that because it's been a long long time to keep something like this to yourself. Obviously,
I can't talk about it. Guys, there are rules. You'll have to just follow along and have some fun, but I can say there is such a sense of relief that we're at least one step closer to I'm almost I always want to say freedom, like I can just live my life again, because you do have to keep your life a secret for a very long time.
Whether you're with the person or you're not with the person, your life gets completely put on whole because you can't publicly be like, hey, we're together and we love each other. But you also if you aren't together, you can't be like, hey, we're not together and I want to go out and
date and continue my life. You have to almost just like you just have to be in this really neutral space where your friends and family around you don't actually know what's going on in your life, and it really makes you put your life on whole, which I don't think a lot of people who haven't done the reality TV thing, especially the Bachelor thing, would even know that
that is the case. But everything gets put on whole between when filming finishes and when you're actually able to be out in the world.
Absolutely, it's a long, long haul, guys, but it's exciting. It's finally happening, I can say, Laura, I was as surprised as you. I was very surprised.
But that's it.
Guy's come along for the ride. I can't say anything else about it.
And Timothy, if you're listening and you mean to Brittany, I'm gonna cut your bloody balls off, is gonna have a field day with that. Just in case you're gonna write an article about this Daily Mail, please also put in there that I said I am joking.
No one will be harmed, because I realize that is called carstration and it is illegal in most countries.
Yes, it's mine, a dutail, mine, a detail, mine and technicality. Moving along, what's been happening in your week. Well, thank you for asking. So this week has been a little bit interesting. I got the flu, and I feel like anybody who gets the flu, now, the first thing you're like, it's COVID. I can't leave my house. I can't do anything. So I got the flu. Mat got the flu. Marley got the flu. Oh gosh, Matt sent me out as a sacrificial lamb to go and get COVID tested, per
heading one for the team. Honey, Yeah, he wouldn't go. He wouldn't go. And we had to go down to Woollongong on the weekend to go see my nuner for her nineteth birthday. And I was like, well, we have to go see her, like it's been a big year for us, and I couldn't not see her. Obviously. I needed to know whether I was like hugely contagious and I got this killer virus. So anyway, I had a cotton bud shoved into my brain, swabbed around. I'm up your nose as far as you can possibly push something.
It goes into your nose. They swob it around and then they pull it out and then they go on in and do the second side.
I haven't had it obviously in the hospital life, I've seen it.
It was the most penetration I've had in a while. There she is ladies and gentlemen, there is Laura Burn. Oh God, Daily Mail is really going to enjoy this episode. So I obviously came back positive. I came back negative. I do not have COVID. I went down and saw
my nun on the weekend. So, like I said, it was my nun's ninetieth birthday, which was a really big deal for us because my grandfather passed away earlier this year and they've been together for sixty seven years since since my nan was Wait, I'm gonna be really bad at Mass. They've been together since my nan was seventeen, and so this was her first birthday without my paper. So it was a really happy day, but it was also it was also really sad day as well.
That is huge when you think about it. Do you think of being with that one human since you were seventeen. You don't know life, you don't remember life without them.
I mean, this was a podcast topic that we were kind of considering for today's episode, but it's not the podcast topic that we're doing. But it really got me thinking about this idea of loneliness, and I know that my nan is feeling lonely. As much as she's surrounded by my mom and my auntie, and as much as we try and call her and see her as much as possible, I really understand that there's like a hole now in her life that can't be filled. That I think is a topic that we should talk about at
some point in time. But like I said, it's not the topic for today. That was my week, that was my weekend. It's been a little bit of sick, a little bit of Nan, and now it's a little bit of you. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know.
We're all in the same group there. You're putting me in with your sickness and you're a down. Hey, come on, my name's not that down. But she's very old. It's a good trot. Do you know what else is happening in my life?
Guys? Tell her and something that that's really been just keeping me up at night. I have a mullet. I have a fucking mullet. Well, this happens to a lot of people who have children. You lose a lot of your hair after giving birth. But what no one tells you is when the hair starts to grow back like a full on tiger king mullet. I okay, I'm going to tell you the Joe exotic and that is who I look like. It's not as god I do as you feel. I'm gonna be honest. It's there. Can I
just say it's not as bad as you think. Is not good? I'm not here to tell you lies. I'm a real friend. No, let's not sugarcoat it. Yes, it's there. Is it great? No? Is it terrible? No?
I actually walked in today and said, you look good like it's like a cute fluffy halo.
It's a lot. Yeah, it's a mullet, and I know that. Yeah. No, but they don't. I know that my other moms out there will understand what I'm talking about right now. I had put a photo up on my Instagram a couple of months back when at first started growing back. But it's it's really worse now, so maybe I'll need to do a follow up. But anyway, that's my life in a nutshell. Brittany, how the hell are you talk me
through this first before we move on. I don't have a baby, and I'm just I'm just going to show you, now, what is this hair that's happening for me? Because I have what you have, but without the kid.
Look at that, without the kids, like that, it sticks out ninety degrees. It stays up like I've been electrocuted. That looks like a visor to a hat.
That's what I mean. It's hectic, all right, britt How has your week been? Oh babe, don't have a story for you.
For all of you that follow along on my Instagram, you would have seen that I moved this week. If you didn't see that and you don't follow me, I guess why why not? It's Brittany on score Hockley, get on that. Yeah, just give yourself a plug, baby sull go for it. Well, you would have seen my shenanigans. So I moved on the weekend, and let's just say it didn't quite go to plan. I take the day off work, right, because obviously you have to be there
to move. I've taken the day off work, and I'm hectic.
I've got a lot of little jobs going. It's a big deal for me to clear a whole day's schedule. You're a busy woman, so I'm a busy woman. I'm at their property, things to do. I've met the property, might even have a boyfriend. Maybe I do. I don't know. I mean, I know I've met the property and I'm waiting for all my stuff to arrive.
Time an an hour ticks past, A couple more hours tick past. Neck minute, it's the end of the day. I am on the blower. Hey, guys, Brittany here just wondering where my stuff is. Oh, Brittany, I can see. Yes, we're delivering tomorrow. What do you mean you're delivering tomorrow. Today's my moving day. No, No, we can't do today. We're doing tomorrow.
Why didn't you call to confirm this? I did. That was the biggest I went back through.
I have paperwork which I forwarded them and showed them. I was like, no, look, I can see our communication trail here. It specifically says will not be at the property any other day other than this day. This is there we booking it in. They wrote back anyway, they didn't come. It was disaster.
So I just take a big breath. You know, can't change this now.
Let's crack on. My brother in law, bless your soul.
Jay.
So my sister's partner. My sister was working and he came down to help me build some stuff. You know, I'm all about being independent, but there's so if you can't do on your own. So he came down to help me build.
L flat flat pack, flat patcher flat pack Vsiety flat pack. Fucking ike is one of those things that you can't do on your own. I'm like, yeah, I told you was flat pack. You know that you're an adult when you have no Ikea furniture in your house. Like, that's my benchmark for being an adult. So I'm definitely not there yet. Babe.
I'm thirty two and I just built two i Ikea flatbags.
What are you saying that you're not an adult yet? Pretty much? Continue. So we're building this flat pack.
We get to the very end and and it's so late at night, and we realize that there's a piece missing.
It's broken.
We can't finish it. Without it, we can't finish it. And I'm like, of course, we can't finish it, so bless your soul.
Jay. Jay's like, I'll go pick up some pieces at I Care. He calls ahead. He sits on the phone for forty minutes. To make sure it gets it.
It's like closing time and he's on the road to Sydney, across Sydney to get this stupid piece of timber.
I'm back home, still building on my own. It's a shame that he's dating a sister. Why, well, because he would be the perfect boyfriend. Yeah, he is for my sister. That's a shame. Okay, So we go to bed. We don't go to bed. We both independently go to our houses.
And go to next Next morning, we get up and obviously this is now the delivery day. They call me first thing in the morning. They're not supposed to come until midday. They said that the day we're going to come at midday. So I'm like, brilliant. I haven't slept in past six o'clock in weeks.
I'm sleeping in. I get a call at quarter to seven, Hi, we're here with your furniture what like? Why?
And I'm like, oh my god, Okay, So I run down. So I'm like, I'll be there because I didn't stay at the house because I couldn't build the shit. So I'm back in my old property. So I'm like, I'll be there five minutes, just getting a coffee run down, got the furniture. Now I got this huge fridge. So this huge fridge, all my White Goods washing machine are delivered. I'm standing there by myself. They pull it up a flight of stairs. It's so big in it's packaging, it can't even fit in the door.
They not exaggerating. They park it out the front of my door and they say, hey, because of COVID, we can't come in the house. Thank you bye, and they walk away. No, I'm not kidding. I'm standing there there by yourself. Yeah, I'm standing there by myself with a huge fridge and they can't sit in the door that's in the corridor blocking my neighbor's entrance. Then there's a washing machine and I just stand there like I just can't believe it. I'm actually gobsmacked.
So I go and knock on my neighbor's door and I'm like, hey, neighbor. He comes out and help me. Jay comes down again, and we're trying to get this stupid White Goods in. We eventually get it in and I'm like, how can this get any worse?
It can? Oh God?
I plug the washing machine in, brand new, everything set up, go toto a cycle and it just floods. It floods everywhere. My whole bathroom's done. I've gone for a swim. I put a snorkel on. I just embraced it. I saw this on your Instagram stories.
I'm gonna say that you didn't put the plug into the washing machine. I'm gonna say some of this was your fault, because absolutely it was not. It was not, guys.
I put this on my Instagram right, I'm like, sos, it's flooding out. I can't tell you how many people are A hundreds You guys have no faith in me. Hundreds of people wrote how about you tried turning the tap off?
Dull? Oh like I didn't try that, guys. I appreciate your support, but of course I turned the tap off. But you did admit to me earlier that you that you just fucking pulled the plug out and just let the apartment flood. I had to. I had no choice. I didn't know what else to do.
Where I did let myself was that I did this process three times because each time I thought I fixed it.
So I did a cycle again and it wasn't fixed. Why did you keep persevering? I think there's the saying, which is like, for me once, shame on you for me twice, shame on me for me three times. I'm a fucking idiot. I felt like I need to go to Ikea and buy a bucket. Firstly, I don't think that's a real saying. You made it up. Oh ma, it's pretty pretty accurate. Actually, okay, let me just talk you through it. I just felt like I had something to prove to myself, Like.
I mean, on my own. I don't need someone in this house with me. I don't need a man right now.
I can do it. But I couldn't, and I had to accept defeat. I went to Bunnies the next day. I got some tools. I cannot wait to see your apartment. And I really hope that your landlord doesn't listen to this podcast I had. I did have a breakdown.
I did sit in the puddle for a while and I cried and I just had to lend it out because it'd been very stressful few days. Then I got my shit together, I got changed because I was wet, kept.
Going on my merryway. Bloody hell, I know what, I'm doozy. I'm exhausted, kay, same I'm not moving for the next twenty five years. Well, I'm proud of you. I feel like when you're moving and you're on your own, it's one of the times it really highlights how it would
be very nice to have a man around. Oh absolutely, and like I'm all for I can do this on my own, but they are literally, physically some things you can't do on your own, and it's it's frustrating things that's like I really was I just really need to lift this to put something under it, for example, but I can't.
There's so much I can't do because you just need a second body there. It's not even a man, it's a second body.
But it makes you so much more like, it makes you so much more adaptable and resilient, like you want to do things on your own, Whereas I feel like now because I have Matt, it's made me so lazy. I don't do anything. I'm like, oh, the TV's broken. She's like, you've got to turn it on. Laura like, fuck up, can't figure it out. You're better do that, pal,
it's broken again. It's just made me so even like with my computer, I'm gonna turn into one of those old people that don't know how to use technology purely because anytime I need to do anything, I'm like Matt, fix it. That's what I do with you.
I'm like, Laura, I can't walk into this thing.
What does that mean? I'm literally your boyfriend. You're my boyfriend. I'm your boyfriend. Yeah, you are? You are? Ah, I don't know. That's where we are. So that was it.
So I'm in, guys, but I'm far from settled. Hopefully it will come a time to be alive.
Guys.
All right, let's get into our favorite segment for today's episode.
We're going to be talking about love languages. Now, it's a topic that I'm sure you've heard about at some point in the past, but maybe we're going to talk about it with renewed and refreshed information. Maybe not, but we hope that we can bring to you within a new interesting life. But before we get into that, we're going to do our favorite part of the episode, which is accidentally unfiltered, and that is when you, guys write in your most embarrassing stories and we laugh at you.
That's pretty much it favorite pastime and Laura, You've got a goodie. This so really nice. When we laugh at you and not at me, which for change is you know, it's a brilliant chance. It's good to me. All right, let me find this one, Let me find this bad boy. I've always found it nicely lever. Okay, that was a hard sentence, wasn't it, Fuck you. I've always found it nice to keep some succulents by the window. They're easy to care for, and they add a little bit of
greenery to your room. Back in October, I decided I'd spend thirty five dollars on a set of four small succulents. I know succulents don't need much water, so it'd only water them once every three weeks or so. I found it odd that the water didn't really disintegrate into the soil. Instead it kind of just sat on the top in a little pool and then it absorbed in. But anyway, I figured that they were small and they don't need
much water. I left over Christmas, and I was worried about my succulents and how they were going to hold up without any water. Much to my delight, I came back and they looked as healthy as ever, just as the day I bought them. How resilient this little plant is. I continued watering the succulents for months each month. This is a long one, guy, stay with me, but I'm
here for it. I continued watering the succulents for months, each month, giving just the ride and the water that would float on the surface for a little while and they would absorb into the soil. I must be doing a great job, I thought, because they still looked so awesome after eight months of purchase. I took real internal pride in my little succulents until the day I left on a holiday and got my housemates to take care of them. Anyway, I don't know where this is going,
but I'm like anyway. I was overseas when I received a FaceTime call from my housemate who said, are you fucking kidding me? Your succulents are plastic. She even then said, look, if you look closely, you can see the glue, which she pointed out to me, and yep, there it was, the glue on the bottom of the cuculent. Anyway, it turns out that I've just spent eight months watering four little plastic succulents. Fuck my life. I love that so much because I feel like there are a lot of
girls that would be in this position. No, I don't think there are, but I actually loved it. Trying to optimistic. That's I think that this is This is like the sweetest, most inoffensive, accidentally unfiltered that we've ever received. It's also one of the dumbest. But I love it so much. I love it so much. Like I like it after eight months you never questioned why it hadn't grown. That's the thing that really gets me. It's a real kicker.
What does she think the chunks of shiny, thick glue were plants can be really really stic these days.
Those plicy plants sometimes like a fool. I think I need to get plastic plants because I cannot keep my own alive. Anyway. Ah, that was I enjoyed that, Bretti. Do you have an accidentally unfiltered for me? Whne's not? It's funny now what a Oh my god. The amount of messages that we get every week because of Britney's laugh is Honestly, it's like one of my favorite things to read in the reviews. It's one of my favorite
things to read in the Facebook group. But britt your laugh brings me and everybody who listens to this podcast so much joy I just want to like really make you aware of how great it is. And I think the half the time I laugh, I'm not even laughing at what's been written in I'm laughing at you, guys. I don't know if I ever told you this. That was once a day where I tried so hard to contain my laugh and not let it be who it wants to be. I wasn't letting my laugh be its best self.
I wasn't because I was so embarrassed by it, because it's pretty in your face and it's pretty loud, and I wish us to hide it.
And I remember when on the Bachelor.
Originally my family were like, Brett, do you best to try and keep that laugh under wraps?
And now I've just let it. I can't control it. Like it's just it's out. It's living its best life. It's very staccato and it really punctuates the air. But I think every single person who hears it, every single person who hears it, is here for it. I'm here for it. Well, I don't want to reassure you that I am here for it. And I appreciate that thank you for your support. You're welcome. Okay, Now bring me in accidentally unfiltered.
I am a goody for you. Bear with me because I'm just gonna summarize this story. So this girl's driving to her boyfriend's house and she's driving her mum and a dad over because they're going to have like this great family little bonding dinner. Now, because she's driving, she's given a mom a phone and she's like, text my partner, text the guy on my behalf. So they're doing really innocent texting, and the mom's reading out what he's saying, and he's like, do we need pasta for dinner?
Do we need this? Guineman pick up this?
And she's saying, just write this back, Mom, write this back, and it's a super innocent conversation. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he decides to go rogue and sends a photo of his dick with those little googly eye things that you can get for arts and crafts, and he stuck the eyes on the end of his venis and set the photo.
In the middle of it, like, do we need pasta for dinner? To the mom because he doesn't know the mom's texting, Oh my god. The mom has screamed, basically thrown the phone. She's like, I just I just saw a photo of your partner's dick with eyes on it. I don't know what's happening. We can't go to dinner. What. She's like, what do you mean you to thaw a photo with his dick? And she showed her the photo. She's like, oh yeah.
Anyway, they're almost at the house, so they're mortified.
They're like, what do we do? Pull it together. Let's just have dinner. So they're trying to I want to know if the guy knows about this year, so they're not. They don't. They're only just getting to the door, and they're like, pull it together, let's get through this dinner. So they get in there.
At the dinner table, no one says anything. The whole time, the guy is just having a great old laugh. He's trying to like impress the parents. He's trying to make them laugh and have a good old time.
No one says anything.
Then when they get up to leave and they walk out the door, he hears the mom say, but I don't understand why he put.
The eyes on it. Wait, So that's how we found out. So he overheard them walking out of the house be talking to each other, being like, I still just don't understand why he put the eyes of oh my god.
And then also obviously he hears this she comes back in, he's like, theybe want to explain.
That comment, like he would just think that she'd shown her mom. Hey, mom, look at the giggly I did think I just got So this is who you meet. And he's got great abs, nice haird likes long walks on the beach, and this is his deck. Oh and he's really funny. See mom, See he's so funny Tom. He's got really great eyes. Look, maybe we should get into the topic for today. Yeah, okay, on that note, Sorry about that, guys, but we're gonna we're gonna jomp right in.
Hey, thanks for writing those in. Keep sending them because we actually, as you can tell, love them. They make our day. So keep them coming. Let's get in to the topic.
We actually had a request for a full episode of Accidentally Unfiltered's, which maybe next time we have to do a bonus episode. That is what we're gonna do. We're gonna just put together and save some of the absolute best which is kind of like the worst stories and put them into an episode just for you. If anyone would like that, maybe send us a DM and tell us if that's something that you would want, hit us up on Instagram, because.
You guys have got to send us. Yeah, we need your dirtier story. You can come to say story that you say to yourself.
I need to bury this so no one can ever ever hear it. That's what we want. Like maybe you lost a butt plug and spent seven hours in the shower trying to find it. I want to know about this. I want to notice more about the I Dick pic.
So, guys, we did mention that we're going to talk about love languages today and I think that that's a really cool, fun important topic. And I don't know if anyone has ever done the tests or anything like that you can find out what you love language is. We will get into that in a minute, but we thought this would be a really nice topic to go back to and just really delve into what makes you tick,
what makes your partner tick. It's also a really nice topic to kind of follow on from last week's big episode, which was our breakup Bible. And that is because often a lot of relationships break down because you have mismatched love languages and you're not really communicating, receiving, or feeling love because maybe your partner's displaying it in a way that's not a way that you feel loved by. If that makes sense, it will make sense because we're going
to get into it. But also if you're single and you're looking for a new relationship, these are things to really be aware of and conversation to have early on in a relationship so that you can make sure that you're growing together and that you're both satisfying each other's love language, which is how people really feel and receive love. Everything in the world is changing, and it is a really hard time for love right now. It's a hard time to find new love. It's a hard time to
maintain the love you're in. It's just it's a really, really tumultuous time, which is why we thought it'd be nice to delve into it. So there are five love languages, and the concept of this stemmed from New York Times number one best selling book titled The Five Love Languages.
It's written by a man called doctor Gary Chapman, and it's an approach to showing and receiving love that will help you experience this deeper and richer level of love and help you maintain love for a longer period of time.
So we're going to get into what the different five love languages are that we're going to talk a little bit about what our love languages are. And also if you haven't done it yourself, we really recommend going and doing the test online. Literally, if you just type in love Languages test, you can then sit down. It takes about five minutes, ten minutes, I don't know, it depends on how slow you read, but you can find out
what your love language is. It's it also gives you the opportunity to do that with your partner to better find out what love language they are, and it's also just a really interesting conversation to have with them after and also then kind of like pick out the little bits and pieces of your relationship that maybe you could both be working on better together. Well. Yeah, because the.
Fact is we all have different personality types and this means that we feel love and give love differently. So this is why it's really important to figure out what your type is and what makes you tick so that you know what you and your partner can have this healthy relationship.
Before we get into all the love languages, brit What is your like number one love language? My number one? So did you do the order because it tells you like the order? Yes, I know my order? Yeah, okay? So my number one? Oh why don't you guess it? Yours is touch? Yes, it is well done, and then it is words of affirmation.
No incorrect, words of affirmation caming third, So my order was physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and then receiving gifts was last.
It's like I can't even date you, but I don't even know you at all. Well, you got my first one, all right? Do you want to know mine? Yeah? Can I guess? I reckon? Your first one would have been knowing where you are in life right now? Acts of service? No, no, but close. My first one was alcohol and I think you did the Dan Murphy's test. But bring me wine and I will love you forever. No okay? So mine were mine were quality time, and then my next one
was words of affirmation. Then it was acts of service, and then it was physical touch, and then it was receiving gifts. But I have a really interesting thing that I want to talk about later on the episode once we've gotten through what all of these are, and that is that I think that your love languages change over time, and they also are dynamic depending on where you're at
in your relationship. But I want to really flesh this out with you because I think that this is like ending on where you are with your partner, it really impacts what you need from them. I absolutely agree.
I think so changed for me, but I imagine for you going through your next life journey, your next huge chapter from being single to a child and engaged, I imagine it would be very different.
So that will be interesting. So let's get into that, but not yet. Number one is words of affirmation. So words of affirmation is like, maybe you really enjoy it or need your partner to sort of to tell you that they love you, to say and actually verbalize that they think that you're pretty, or they're really proud of you, or that you're you know, you're doing a great job.
You need to verbally and physically hear from them these words in order to feel like you're in order to feel like you're valued, and in order to feel like they love you. That is like the number one of the love languages.
Yep, that whole idea of you know, you should know how much I love you. I shouldn't have to tell you all the time, that doesn't fly with these people. If that's if your love language is words of affirmation, that's not enough. You need a partner to be verbal with you and constantly. And it's not a it's not a vanity thing, and it's not something to prop you up. It's just that that's how you feel loved, so don't confuse that.
And it's also not like for constant reassurance either, Like I know that there are some people who feel like they need to be told that they love because there is a level of insecurity in their relationship. This can be like very stable and very happy relationships. But some people are very good at being very verbal, and then
some people aren't. I think this also grows for parents, Like some people grow up with parents who are very much like you know, a very find it very easy to say I love you, And then I have friends who have parents who don't really ever say I love you, and when they say it to their parents, their parents have said like, oh I know you do, or something very like weirdly like what feels like a little bit incompassionate or a little bit unloving back. But it's also
because these people display their love very differently. But words of affirmation, I think, can be a really really big one, and if it's not displayed and if people aren't receiving it, they can very much feel unloved.
I have friends, and this blows my mind, but I have friends whose parents have never said they love them. And it's not because they don't love them, but they've come from a generation where they didn't express love like that. So they know they love them because they look after them and house them and they do other things for them, whereas, for example, my parents, my dad, he will call me every day and he'll be like, hey, Possum, have I told you today?
I love you?
Like just stuff like that. So it's when you start to think about what we're talking about. You start to look into the universe and everything that's around you and the people around you, and you'll start to notice these love languages in the people that are surrounding you.
It's really interesting, absolutely well, even when I think of my own mum, and this was like a conversation that I kind of got into with Matt when we were talking about this, like, I like my mum and I we have such a great relationship, and we as we've
gotten older, our relationship has gotten better, I think. But there was definitely a period there where I didn't feel as loved by her or like I didn't really feel like we were as connected as what you should be from and daughter, Like there was a real mismatch there. It took like a little bit of age and a little bit of wisdom to realize that my mom shows
how she loves me in very different ways. For example, when I was at UNI, my mum would stay up all night and do my referencing because I would do my assignments last minute, and then part of my assessment was that I needed to have these hectic references done, and she would get up at like three in the morning or four in the morning and she would do all my referencing on my assignments for me. But she may love yeah, like insanely right, but she may not have verbalized it in a way that I needed it
at that time. And so I was kind of like a bit I was kind of like a little bit resentful in those years, almost and now when I look back, I'm like, Wow, Mum showed me that she loved me in so many ways. I just wasn't open to receiving that.
I was looking in all the wrong places. So that's kind of what brings it back to how important it is to really acknowledge, even if your love language is are different to acknowledge when someone is showing you that they love you, because maybe they're doing it in a very different way to the way that you want to receive it. Yeah, so maybe your mom's love language was acts of service one hundred percent and still is. Like
that's like number at the top. My mum would make leotage, she would drive us to sport, she would like get up at four thirty am to make sure that we were all up to do our sports in the morning. Like she just did so many things for us and she still does. And that is one hundred percent how she shows her love. My mom's exactly the same.
She was never one to every day smother us and say she loved us, but she went above and beyond to do everything we ever needed, like we never wanted or needed anything.
And that brings us into number two, which is acts of service. So, like we just said, acts of service is like this whole concept of action speak louder than words, and it's it's a very dad thing. I think as well. Acts of service it's the little things. It's like fixing something for you. For example, Brittany, had you had a boyfriend that could have come to your aid, he would have fixed your washing machine, it would have been a bloody welcome to active service. It's when your partner does
something for you. Maybe they cook you dinner, or maybe they give you a massage. But it's like small actions that they do which is their way of showing that they love you.
Yeah, it could be like washing doing something that you know is gonna make your partner happy, or doing something that you know is going to make your partner's life easier. That's what it's about. It's not that you love doing it, because you probably don't, but you know how much your partner is going to appreciate it. You know how much more it's going to make their life smoother, and that's why you do it.
Yeah, it could be something easier. It could be like, you know, your partner organizes a service for your car, or he puts petrol in your car, or just like things that just genuinely make your day to day easier, which sometimes I think acts of service can be really overlooked in a relationship, and I think that this is something that we really need to get into as well. Acts of service is one of those things that gets
forgotten about because there becomes this expectation. For example, if you cook dinner every single night for your partner, it doesn't become seen it necessarily as being something that they're grateful for because it's an expectation because you always cook dinner every night. And so I do think that sometimes acts of service can be very quickly overlooked as a form of showing love. Absolutely agree.
And also I think when you're doing this, it shouldn't be chure. So you need to keep it in mind that you're doing it because you love them, and you're doing it with a positive vibe and you have happiness, and you have happiness in.
Your intent and it's genuine.
When you're doing it out of obligation or it has a negative tone attached to it, that's when you sort of lose sight and your relationship. It won't have the same effect because you're doing it because you feel like you have to, not because you want to, and make sure you're not doing anything out of obligation.
Number three Laura receiving gifts. So I think that like this is one of the ones that people think can be very materialistic, and I think that, like often people are afraid to say, oh, gifts is my love language. By me thinks I like handbags. Yeah, handbags are my love language. I left my gift list on the fridge. It doesn't need to be expensive stuff. When we say gifts, we're not talking about you need a Chanelle handbag. We're not saying that you're some boujie bitch that needs to
have everything brought for you. That's not what this part of the love languages is. It could be that when your partner goes traveling, they always bring you back something, and whether it's small totems or tokens of their affection, it's just them wanting to remind you that they love you, and they do that by buying flowers, or they do that by bringing you home I don't know, a pastry, or it can be something small. But these are also gifts, yes, sentimental.
Some of the best gifts I've ever been given have cost nothing because they've been made, because they've been made with me in mind, and they've been really thoughtful. But having said that, these gifts don't have to be small and sentimental. They can still be big, materialistic gifts. It's just as long as you have your partner in mind and it's something that you know they want, you know they love. You're doing it because you know it's going to make them happy and vice versa. They're doing it
for you for the same reason. But whatever it is, again, don't be doing it because you're buying their love.
It's not about that. It's not about trying to win.
Them over and keep them in a relationship that I want to be with because you're buying the materialistic things. So again there's always these lines that you have to be really careful when you're crossing gifts.
Is the tricky one in that if somebody if so for me, gifts is so far down my list. When we sat down and we did this online test, it gives you a percentage mind as to like what percentage each each love language means to you, and it lists them from sort of one to five. But everybody has like a dominant love language and a secondary love language. Not only is gifts at the bottom of my list, it rates a zero percent. Like for me, I do not care about gifts. Go and unpack the fish washer,
and that is how I'm going to feel loved. But I also think, as I said earlier in the episode, that I think that it fluctuates and it's relative to the relationship that you're in. So this is a bit
of a backstory. But when I've spoken about this relationship before, like I was with the guy for six years, and he was the first person that I really really thought this is the one, Like, this guy is the one, And we had a we had a fairshi air of ups and downs, like I tell you, but like I'm not going to get into all that, but one thing, that one thing that really stood out to me, and the fact that I have a zero percent care for gifts, but this still really really affected me. He never ever
bought me a present. He never bought me a Birthday present, he never bought me a Christmas present, he never gave me a card. And so in six years of being together, I never ever received anything from him, and it became this real point of contention because my love language is shifted and it became something that became more important to me because I felt that because I wasn't getting that from him at all, and he wasn't even attempting to satisfy that need that I had, even if it was
like the most minimally basic need. I was like, you don't. You can't possibly love me like you are being so unthoughtful. You're not thinking of me, you're not caring about me. I just felt like I couldn't possibly be important to him, even though he showed me in lots of other ways that he loved me. Yeah, but okay, I'm going to jump in here.
No, but even if your love language isn't gift giving or receiving, you still buy someone you love a birthday present the baseline of what you do like, you just don't not do that.
That's what I'm saying is even though you may rate so low on something like even if you have no desire for one of these love languages, we all still need all of these in some measure. Like you can't just never give someone words of affirmation, can just not You can't be with someone and never tell them that you love them. You can't be with someone and never
do an acts of service for them. So even if you are more dominant in one love language than the other, you still need little bits of each because if you're being completely deprived in one love language, then that love language is going to move up in the list of priorities. It's going to then become something that becomes important to you because you're not receiving it at all. And so that that was crazy to me because I don't care
about gifts at all. And then by the end of our relationship, I was like, you don't love me, you don't buy me anything. It's my birthday. You didn't even give me a card, and I became really fixated on not being given something. I have something similar my I was just really angry. Then I was like, that was really It was a really hard relationship and it made me really angry. Guys, and I still think about the fact that I got no gifts for six years. It
kind of hurts a little bit. Lauri, your therapy session is over. Now back to the topic.
No, I my psychox relationship, he was exactly the same. Gifts meant nothing to me, but it was like opposite for you. When I sorry, when I say exactly the same. It was nothing alike.
It was a total complete upset. But I mean he would go to the extreme and he was constantly giving me really big, expensive gifts.
But I soon worked out it was like a guilt thing. It was when he had cheated on me or when he had done the wrong thing, I would get this gift and then I just thought he was like, it didn't I didn't want them. It didn't mean anything to me. But I was like, what an amazing guy he always is thinking of me, But it's not.
It was. It was a guilt thing and it meant nothing. So once I realized that, it took it away, it took the magic away from it. And I think that's why gifts don't really do what they used to do for me now because I associate it now with it not really being meaningful. I would rather someone give me their time, because he was constantly canceling on me with time. Would have a weekend away, he would cancel last minute.
Obviously he would say he had to work, but it was because he was going and spending the weekend with someone else. So then physical touch and time became my top two because that's all I really craved the gifts mean nothing could feel less about them. He was buying my love, he was buying my trust and love. Like, you're totally right. And I think in that which it's so funny because I always thought gifts was like the
most boring one. I was like, oh, it's so those superficial, But I actually think gifts is a really interesting love language because it's something that people can put a lot of time, a lot of energy, and a lot of money into. And some people might buy very extravagant gifts, and like I'm not saying that it's because they've cheated, Like just in a relationship, someone might buy very very extravagant gifts, might organize holidays, might do all these things.
But if your love language on the receiving end is not gifts, kind of wasting your money, Like you don't need to take someone out for dinner and do this massive, big, elaborate, expensive show of affection when all that person's really craving is quality time and touch and affection or words of affirmation. I think that when there's this total mismatch in how you're showing your love one, it can be detrimental the relationship. But also it can be really fucking expensive in such a waste of money.
She just put that away for a house to possit.
Yes, anyway, I just want someone to tell me that they love me and give me a glass of wine. I just want a culmination of everything. And I also want them to do the washing and put the chart to bed. Yeah yeah, rub my back, tell me I'm pretty, and feed me once, hold my hand and tell me I'm pretty. Feed the baby. So next is quality time number four. Quality time and this love language, it's all about giving someone your undivided attention.
If this is their love language, If undivided time is their love language, they want to be the center of your world.
No phones, no computers, no TV. Nothing.
They just want you to sit down, listen to them, talk to them, be present for them.
Yeah, and be invested in what they're saying as well. I think it's one thing when your partner gives you the scraps of their time, Like when they've finished work and they've already spoken to their friends, and they've done dinner, and they've done their sport and all this sort of stuff, and they come home and they're too tired, but they flop on the couch and watch a Netflix with you.
That's not quality time. Quality is your priority time. Quality time is like there are other things that I could be doing and I kind of want to do as well, but you are the absolute number one, Before exercise, before food, before whatever else it is. It's gonna be with you, and I'm gonna incorporate all those other things with it, but it's gonna be with you.
If your partner's love language is quality time, every time you cancel a date or every time you postpone something, or every time you say you can't talk on the phone anymore as really hurtful to your partner and it does make them feel like you don't love them. So it's really something you consider. You need to figure out if that's your partner's love language, take that into account.
If you're going to cancel a date, think do you really have to?
Because it is going to affect them more than it might affect you if that's not your love language.
So my number one love language is quality time. And I think that that's because for us, like now that we have a baby, the time that we get together is not that quality and often we often we are on our phones or we're occupied with work or like one person has Mary and one person is trying to get other things done in the house, and so it's the time that we actually get to spend together mat night and actually sit on the couch and be totally
present in each other's company is really minimal. So when we do have the opportunity to be together and actually like really invest in each other's time, like if one of us is on the phone or a little bit disengaged, it's really hurtful because those moments that we get to have together are so few and far between now. Even though we spend so much time together, very very minimal time of that is actually quality time. Yeah, well, I spent a lot of time on my own, but I
spent a lot of time with you. We spend a lot of quality time together. The depth of our conversation. Sometimes I'm like, I should talk to mad about this. Doctor Chapman does say that if you do want to show your partner some love and their language is quality time to remember the three bees. Are you ready, I'm ready.
Be deliberate with your time, make a plan, don't do anything super last minute, Make them feel like they're loved and wanted, so say, keep Friday night free because I am going to plan something and he's going to be amazing and I want.
To surprise you. So lock it in and make them feel like you've really thought about it. The second B be mentally present, so, like.
You just said, really just be there. Don't be drifting off in your thoughts. Don't glance down to your phone. Don't say, oh sorry, what did you just say, because it just shows that you're not interested. Thirdly, be affectionate. Okay, so you've planned, you kill a night out, you've locked your dating, you're mentally present there, but you still need
to bring that little extra level of physical touch. Bequte, tell them they're sweet, so you bring some of the other love languages in, wrap it up into one beautiful little gift, and you've.
Got a really nice night. And that is what he says.
That's how you really drive home to your partner that you're here for them and you love them and you're gotta make this work.
I really like the first one of that, this whole idea of being deliberate. I think there's nothing, there's nothing like less attractive than when someone says, like, oh, let's hang out and like, you organize a night and you're gonna do something special, and then they haven't booked a restaurant, they haven't made any plans, and so it's two last minute. You can't actually go and do anything nice. The night is like a bit of a waste because it's like, well,
what are you wanna do? Where do you want to go? On? Like, no, I hate you said that you were going to do this. You asked me, why haven't you even thought about what we're gonna do? Why does that end up on me? I think that that's like I think that that is genuinely a reflection of not actually wanting to spend quality time with someone because you haven't really put any time and energy into making that time quality. You've just been like, oh, well,
I hope that they bring the goods. If there's nothing worse, then it's like, well, okay, what are we gonna do then? And like, well what do you feel like eating? Like what do you feel like? You're like, well, I don't know, we're supposed to be haveing dinner in ten minutes. You haven't planned anything. There's not like you almost as you try the tailing, don't you like don't worry, let's just
stay in a breaths. Like you almost get a bit defensive, and even though you like, yes, you're staying at home and you've got uber eats, it's like, well, this was our opportunity to do something special, and now we're not doing something special. We're doing what we do almost every night of the week. So it's therefore no longer really quality time, even though we're together, Like I think kind of takes away from that. I mean, it can still
be quality, but it takes the specialness away. Yeah, a little bit one for the single people, because not everyone who is, like you know, not everyone who's listening to
this is in a relationship. But when you're dating someone and they're okay with giving you their Monday or their Tuesday, or their Wednesday or their Thursday night, but they're not going to give you their Friday night, their Saturday night, or their Sunday day, like that is not quality time, right, Like you know where you stand on their list of priorities. And I think that that is very glaringly clear. If a guy is happy to do dinner with you on a Monday or a Tuesday, but he won't do dinner
with you on a Saturday or a Friday. He's got better things to do. He's fitting you into his list of priorities. So stay woke, ladies.
Yeah, if you're single, all this still applies. It's really great to know going into a relationship. But in the early stages of dating, you can pick up on what someone's love language is straight away.
You don't have to be in a long term relationship.
So I think that this is equally is important for singles entering the dating world to long term relationships.
Number five is physical touch. So this is mine number one. I love it.
I want you to stroke my hair. I want you to tickle my arm, or you tick my back. I want you to give me a BackRub. I want you to cudd on me. I want you to spoo me.
I love touch, and I'm like that with everyone, Like I'm quite affectionate with my friends. I'll she's very handsy.
I'm hands but even I don't know, Like even if you've seen on the lounge and I laughed, I might even laugh and touch your leg And.
It's not an awkward thing. And I don't actually think about it. I only really thought.
About it when I was reading through the love language and thinking of what I am and my friends often say that, and it's not a bad I'm not all over you, but it's like the tiniest little touch because that's how I show you that I care well. Instead of being two meters away when you're upset and saying I'm here for you, I'll be next to you and I'll touch your arm and I'll say.
I'm here, you know. It's just like those little things. I think, like this is the one that this is what made me think about how dynamic love languages can be and how they change depending on the relationship you're in, and how they depend how they change depending on where you're at in your relationship. So I used to be quality time and my second one was always physical touch, like they were always neck and neck, but because because touching me time, Yes, I was gonna be really rude then,
but I'm not going to do it. So now it's kind of changed and like now it's still quality time. That's still like maintains number one, but acts of service has become my secondary and most important thing. And I think it's shifted because Matt and I are always touchy fely with each other, like we always are the ones who will hug each other. We always we're always kiss each other like we're very very handsy couple. Like not to be grossed and give you too much information, but
we're very very affectionate with our touch. So I'm not lacking in that part of my life. But sometimes acts of service, like my God, if you do the washing, cook me dinner, and put Marley to bed, I'll let
me tell you, that really gets me off now. And I wouldn't have cared about that stuff before, but now, because of the situation that we're in, because of the point in life that we're in, acts of service, I understand now why dads end up mowing the lawn and doing all the stuff, because that is what really arouses a woman. My dad does it because he has to mom's like, I'm not fitting your dinner. Wait, you see to your mom. You ask your mum what gets her up,
and she'll be like, the mowing. I'm pretty sure that when your dad washes the dishes, that's that's your mum. Yeah. Okay, Well, so for people that dad, I know you're listening to this. Sorry, sorry Tony, sorry, big Tones. He listens to everyone. He's like, actually, I just mowed the lawn yesterday. Can you hear him in the background starting them all, that's gonna be a good night in the Hockeley house. Mom's like, Tony, you mowed the lawn yesterday. Yes, I know, dude, but but
I'm not joking. I really think that depending on where you're at in your relationship, acts of service becomes so much more important. And like I just I really didn't realize this until I got to this point in my relationship with like now even today when I made Matt do the test so I have his answers as well, and he even said to me, it's like I couldn't have cared less before if you had cleaned the house
and like done things for me. He's like, but now, babe, you take money for the day and I'm going to go for a surf and go for the run. He's like, that means so much to me. It's like, I know that that's you showing me that you love me, but well it means more. Yeah, it means more now totally heid Froth that so froth that, But it's dear God, hed Froth. It it's important to know that physical touch isn't just about sex, and we make the joke, but it's not just a sexual thing.
It's literally the little things. It's holding hands in public, it's cuddling in public. It's not being ashamed, it's just making sure they feel safe. And there's always that point of contact. I know, even for me when I'm not in a relationship. Sorry Sherry, but I always do this when I feel like I'm needing love. I literally go to my sister's house and she cooks me, bless her.
She cooks me dinner, and I lay on the lounge like she's my boyfriend, and I put my head on her lap, and she like will tickle my arm, will stroke my hair. But it's because that's my love language. And I because I've been single for so many years, there comes to a points every few months or however long when you're like, okay, I feel like I'm because that's how I feel love.
That's what makes me lack love.
If you don't have it, and you don't have anyone that's giving you physical attention, physical touch of any point, a cuddle, you forget how much you need it. You need human contact. So I will literally go to hand I'll be like, can you pat my hair? Fight half now, and she'll just like tickle my hair and then I'm like, Okay, I've got what I need.
But also I think, isn't this like such an interesting time for people whose number one love language it's touch? And then to think that we've just been through a pandemic where you can't hug each other, you have to be socially distanced, especially for people who aren't single, who maybe live alone, who haven't been able to get that
physical touch. Like, I think you just totally hit it on the head that there will be a lot of people going through this period and coming out the other side who have felt very lonely and have felt very unloved because one of their core and fundamental love languages haven't been able to be satisfied by that. It's been a really tough time. But that's why I found this a really interesting chat to do today. That's the five
love languages. And what doctor Chapman does say is he refers to all of these love languages as being a fuel, and he refers to having a love tank. So in a relationship, you have a love tank. Those languages, those five love languages are the fuel that are in the tank. If you're not constantly refilling the tank with the fuel, you're not going to propel forward. So this is how he explains it.
So, if you feel like your relationship is really stagnant, you feel like you're not meeting each other halfway, you feel like you're not moving forward, it's probably because you need to look at your love tank and see what you're not putting in. If you feel like you aren't moving in your relationship, maybe guys go and do this five love languages test.
See what you are, see what your partner is.
Because you might not even know what your partner's love language is, you might think you're showing them love.
He often gets this.
Doctor often gets couples on and what happened because he's a therapist. What happens is he sees these couples and he's he's saying, okay, talk.
Me through why you're breaking up? Why do you want to break up?
And it's because one couple, one day, one person one day stands up and says, you don't love me anymore, and I can't do it. You don't love me, I'm not getting what I need. I'm leaving. And usually the other partner's like, well, what, I love you so much? Don't you see how much I do for you? And it's because they've never spoken about their love language. Her
love language is an act of service. He thinks he's doing all this stuff for her, showing her he loves it, but all she wants to do is be touched and said, you know, be told that he's.
Proud of her.
So this is why it's imperative that you find out what works for your partner, what they want, and then you make sure that you're.
Adding the right amount of fuel into your love tank. Yeah, so, guys, I just listen.
It's a really interesting little twenty minute podcast that doctor Chapman did with Oprah twenty minutes, and it's really interesting if you guys are interested in listening to him and the way he explains it.
It's I loved it. Well. One of the things I really wanted to touch on this episode is like, what do you do when your love languages don't align? So maybe you're at a point in your relationship and you don't feel loved and you're listening to this podcast and you're like, oh, actually you know what, Yeah, he doesn't tell me he loves me, but he does do all these things for me every day, and you know, he drives me to work and he picks me up, and he's like always
texting and he whatever. It is, like, maybe there's a mismatch in how you're giving love and how you're receiving love. Now, we're not sitting here saying that just because you have different love languages that you're not a compatible partner. Like,
I think that you can overcome this. But the only way to overcome this is to have great communication and to really sit down and explain to your partner what you need, and also to then do better to show your partner that you love them in the ways that they receive love as well. And for me, I think one of the biggest things I've learned in my relationships and something that I really like, this is like my
greatest advice guys here it is. It's that you're like, what the fucking well, then you might say, my advice is, if you are in a bad spot in your relationship right now, instead of telling your partner all the things that they need to do to be different, try doing
those things yourself first. So, for example, I know and hear me out because sometimes you don't feel like doing it right if you feel like you have been less loving, as in both you and your partner have been less loving, and you were like, well, you're not being loving to me, you're not telling me that you love me, you're not being affectionate, you're not being handsy and touchy and all
those things that you need. Really like, I think that action proceeds change, And I think that when you start being more loving to your partner, when you start being more verbal and you explaining that they're the things you need, often that's that motivates change in them. They will see a change in you, and that will sometimes and nite a change in them. If it doesn't, then that's when
you're like, fuck, I have really tried everything. But I do think that there has to be a period there where you really try to be the difference and you really try to be the change that you want in them to spark that treat me out, treat them how you want to be treated.
Yeah, it's like a number one rule to life, right, treat another human how you want to be treated.
Yeah, But even more so with this, I think it's more so than just like just going like, you know, be nice and treat people out the way you want to be treated. I think like, if you are not feeling loved, instead of instead of being angry about that, love your partner even more, instead of rolling over in bed and sulking, yeah, roll the other way and cuddle
him and kiss him. Yeah exactly, And then you know, if you're then still not getting the affirmation back, then I think that that's then when it becomes time to assess. But I really do think instead of just putting up a roadblock and going, nah, I feel like this now because I'm not getting what I need from him, I think there's always a point in the relationship where you can go a little bit further to see if you can create that change yourself. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Thanks.
I mean, it's not going to work for everyone, but it's worked for me, and it's worth while. It's worked
in our relationships. There's been time where Matt and I have been having a hard time and we've been butting heads, and you know what, we could keep going down the path of butting heads, but one of you just has to sometimes put up the surrender fly and meet the other person a little bit more than halfway, and you don't want to be that person all the time, but sometimes being that person really just makes the relationship grow and it gets you back into being in a really great space.
Yeah, you gotta put the fuel back in the love tank. So what is Matt's love language?
All right, I gotta pull it up because I can't remember. Hold on. What was Matt's so, Matts was words of affirmation. He wants me to tell me. He wants me to tell him that he's pretty and that I love him, and that he has a nice bicet. I actually told him when he walked in, I was like, I like his shirt, Matts, So he would love that. He loves words of affirmation. He wants me to tell him that he's a sexy man all the time. His second one is quality time, which I yeah, like, we're totally on
par with that. Quality time is really important to both of us, and those are both like pretty equal. Then he's he's equal paired on the next two. So acts of service and physical touch are neck and neck. And then he's thirteen percent gift giving, I mean gift receiving. Okay, so still last he's but he likes him a bit more than I do. I was like thirteen percent for receiving gifts, like that's pretty high, and he was like, yeah, fucking give me things. I'm like checking mine. My gift
giving was last, but it was three percent. That's not very high. Yeah, mine was zero percent. Hang on, I'm gonna be.
Worried now that maybe like future husbands out there are going to listen to this and not buy me anything.
Do yours in percentages? Tell me the whole thing in percentages.
Ready, physical touch twenty nine percent, acts of service twenty six percent, words of afimation twenty three percent, quality time nineteen percent, receiving gifts three percent. The quality time thing actually really surprised me because I thought that would be higher.
I don't feel like that's right. Should everyone go and do this really accurate test that Brittany now doesn't think is correct.
Well, I get that physical touches. No, it just surprised me that. I mean, they're all only a few percent different.
But I love I mean, actually no, I do like a lot of time on my own, so maybe it does make sense. I'm glad you came to that nu it on your own. I'm nutting this out live guys, I am live okay, so mine work quality time thirty three, and then very shortly afterwards was acts of service thirty Then it was words of affirmation at twenty three, and then it was physical touch at thirteen. When I touch you like, don't buy me anything, stop touching me, don't buy me things, just tell me I look pretty, do
things for me, and spend your time with me. All but brilliant number one. I would like a combination of all equal. Well, I think that that's what we were saying. Like when it comes back to what I was saying earlier in that you're always going to be some percentage of these different love languages. They all are important, and they all play a role in every single relationship. You cannot be in a relationship that is completely void of one,
because you will then end up feeling unloved. But how and the level and to what percentage that you show those different love languages is going to vary from relationship
to relationship and in the time of your life. Absolutely, And it all comes back and comes down to if you have fundamentally different love languages, it comes down to communication, and the only way that your relationship is going to work with that person is if you're both super committed to making sure that the other person feels loved in the way that they receive loved, even if that's not what's innately normal or like easy for you. Full stop, boom baby, Enjoy that. Guys.
That's it for love languages. We hope you learn something. If you haven't figured out you love language, jump online. Literally just google the five Love Languages test.
There's loads also while you're at it, and I'm just gonna throw another one in there. Do the Mayas Briggs test. This is like, this is totally off peace right now, I can't contribute. We talk to you. I'm taking it all the way over left of center. So do your love languages test. I think that's like really important for couples and for relationships, but on a personal level and to better understand who you are and people that you're
emotionally compatible with. I really recommend also doing the Mayas Briggs test, which is the Mayas Briggs personality test, and it kind of breaks down your's It is spooky. I'm going to get you to do it, Britt. It's so good for another episode meet up, yeah, and like record a podcast. That'll be wild for why can't we just be crazy and do that's that's something we never do.
That'd be so new for us, So I recommend doing that the Mayas Briggs I found so incredibly interesting and it really highlighted to me the types of people that I'm compatible with, and it highlighted to me my my personality traits that I didn't really I guess it just made me more aware of who I am as person. Recommend maybe we'll put it in the show notes. No next week's once. Well, maybe we'll do it in preparation for next week. All right, guys, and now it's time
for Suck and Sweet. But before we get into it, just in the little break after we recorded that to now, Bridges said to me, can you please take my Lola blades off? I was laughing so hard about that, and I want to kill her right now because I feel dirty from the inside out. That just really came to you.
I've never used that one before, Lola blade, Yeah, take them off.
I actually helped my foot up to Laura's face and I said, take my Lola blades myself. The amount of people who have jumped on board with this, though, like every day on the reviews in the Facebook group, like, I can't tell you how much it kills my soul that everybody's embraced your Lola Loser. Do you mean Lola Palooser. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm not embarrassed with me. My favorite thing that's ever happened is that you.
I have been trying to shut this down to day one. No, this is even better day one.
You tried to shut it down at the beginning, but now sometimes you don't even know and you say it in a sentence, and I love it so hard because you it's you have to.
Admit make you happy. No, I hate it still. He's grown on you and everyone loves that. So I'm miserable. I'm a miserable old mum. You're also very dramatic. Okay, okay, now into the sweet guys. For those of you who don't know, suck and sweet is how we end every episode. It is our highlight and our low light of the week. We already know BRIT's low light because she flooded her apartment three times because once just wasn't enough. Yeah, guys, my suck's quick. My whole weekend sucked, So my suck
is my life. It was. Yeah, it was a really stressful weekend. I'm actually I'm gonna be real for a second. I did put a lot on Instagram and I had to laugh about it, but it was it was very defeating. There was a moment that I just felt really defeated.
I felt really low. I'm not going to use the word depressed. No I wasn't, but I was really down. It was really really hard. I felt really alone, and I think it will be good to talk about that in the future. I struggled, I had some really low moments. So yeah, all in all, it was a really tough weekend. But the weekend's over now this is Sunday night. I yeah, I think that I just need a really good sleep and I'm I'm back to it.
So that's my my sweet on my peak breakdown.
So Saturday night last night, I had a few friends that had written to me and said like, can I come and do something? Can I help you in any way? And me, being me, was like no, don't. Like I don't want to put people out. I'm like, no, you don't need to help me. I'm almost done, Like I'll be fine. But I had this one particular friend that knew me well enough, and she didn't take no friend answer. She's like, I'm actually going to be at your house
in fifteen minutes. I'm going to the shops. Let's have some ice cream. And I just said, you know what, you're really forcing yourself on me and I am here for that. I said, yes, please come, You're like, no means yes and musicians. She turned up and we just had a laugh for half an hour. She picked my mood up.
We had some ice cream, we had a little gloss and that was my sweet just I think someone maybe knowing that whilst I said I was okay that I wasn't, you know, yeah, and like having someone there for you, yeah, I mean someone that could see through my facade. But it's making me feel really guilty now because I knew she was sad, but I had a baby at home. I was like, I don't mean to make you feel guilty now. I didn't. I wasn't that friend, but yeah,
it was at Laura. I you know, it was someone else from the franchise though, from the Bachelor franchise, Kimmy. So if anyone doesn't know, one of the best things for me that came besides Laura from the Bachelor. I was one of the stylists. Kim. We are really really close and I adore her and she's beautiful and she just delivered the goods. Well, I feel sufficiently guilty. Now, Yeah, I'm glad you got another friend. Do you want me to just hold you and touch you and make you
feel really affirm? Just you okay? Give me your okay. So my suck, I mean being sick this whole weekend has been a real debbie downer. My suck could also kind of be classified as my sweet I went to bed at seven o'clock last night. I put Molly to sleep, and I just got into bed, and then I slept for twelve hours, like I was out, and I don't think I've slept for twelve hours. You screened my call. I put my phone on aeroplane mode. I was out
of there. You hung up? Yeah, no, actually I put hung up on you, and then I put this is me being a ship frien you in your time of me who had some other friend. You had some other friend come over to support you. I fucking hung up on you and put my phone on aeroplane mode. I called that. This is really highlighting I've just thought of this now. I called Laura. She declined the call, then sent me messages and was in bed. I thought you would I.
Know, and that I was sick. I do absolutely. I wasn't calling you having a breakdown. I don't know what I was calling you for.
But also like, I'm not going to say I'm in bed at seven pm unless there's something like it was. It was a real doozy other day. Yeah, and I know you'd been so sick, and that's why I would never have asked you for help, because you couldn't even help yourself. Mate, I was in all sorts yesterday, I truly was. So that was my suck. Also, I'm a
ship friend. Just let that suck. My sweet for the week is actually, do you know what somebody wrote in the reviews that they really like that or they don't like They find it really annoying that I always forget if the suck comes first or the sweet comes first? Do they? Because that's what that was me. I left her reviews. They're like, I'm here with Brittany. How Laura always forgets whether it's the suck or the sweet. I see you, How dare you you.
Do every week, I'd be like, what one comes first?
Again? Yeah, well, I'm trying to keep a child alive. Life is just really hard right now. Okay, So my sweet is I mean my other suck? Is that Marley ate one of my lipsticks. I don't know if anyone saw that or my stories. That's not a suck. That is golden. That is a golden moment. She gave me some good Instagram content, so maybe that's my sweet. Then she gave me some solid Instagram contest sponsor. What brand was it? It was a little bit of a Revlon
color Stay. If you're listening, shout out to Revlon. That shit really stays. Thank you. My child looks like a clown now. So it was all quiet in the house. I was in the bedroom and I could hear Marley she was playing, and then just quiet, and I realized it had been quiet for a little while, and I was like, where is that child of mine? And every mother knows that when it's quiet, they're doing something. They're
doing something. And then I couldn't find it because she'd just been in the bedroom and our bedroom is next door to the bathroom, and I was like, oh god, I know where she is. And I opened the door and she had I don't know if this is bad, guys, but she had eaten an entire lipstick, like the whole thing. I mean, was it organic, No, it was Revlong Color Stay. She had eaten it down to the nub, and I reckon there was about three quarters of a lipstick in that.
I mean, she's not the first child in a whole lipstick, so I feel like she's probably okay. I gave her like organic vegetables for lunch to try and even it out. Don't think of works like that.
That's like when I eat a block of chocolate, I go and into Karen arter itcause I'm like fixed it.
Yeah, absolutely, it's like one minus one equal zero. My child is a holy temple. Again, I'm like, you know, you try so hard to make sure that you're your children don't eat bad things, like they're not eating sugar, they're not eating like anything that's processed, and then all of a sudden they eat an entire Revlon Color Stay lipstick, which you know what, there you go. It'satur roll cookie dough, isn't it. Yeah, Well, I don't know which one would have been worse, But that also I don't know if
that was my stage. That's a sweet for sure. That was so funny. It was the cutest thing. It was very cute. I feel like we're at that We're at that phase now of parenting where like your children will get into the goro, Yeah, where I just leave my children unsupervised for twenty minutes and be like, now, hang on, where's that thing that I usually have attached to me? She's so self self sufficion Now It's fine anyway, guys, that is us for this week. I mean, no, that's
us for today. We've still got another episode this week. It's all happening. I'm down two more days. Oh gosh, it's gonna be wild. We really hope that you enjoyed the episode. We hope that you learned something. Please, if you have any accidentally unfiltered stories, we need your most embarrassing story. Guys like you will stay anonymous. We will never ever share that. We'll take that shit to the grave, but let us laugh with you and at you whilst
we do it. Thanks again for all the amazing reviews you guys been reading to. We really really really loved them. The last few days there have been some bloody good ones. People are putting a lot of thought in. I really enjoyed the review that someone wrote where they compared us to the hot tale at the end of Spa. Also five stars for that review. That was my favorite. Yeah, we were a spa. I've never been a spa before.
It was like the nicest thing anyone's ever said. I was like, They're the sorts of words of affirmation that I really need in my life. We were in a spa. We were a towel at the spa. We were the hot talel at the end of a spa. Oh my god, I have a story for you. Then before we go, Oh.
My god, Wow that came out of nowhere. Is this is a hot towel story to sit in.
This is gonna so I'm gonna go Rogue'm gonna tell you a story before we actually get into the end of the episode. When I was in Bali this one time, I had been going to this spa like this this face spa, this is funny, okay, And I'd be going every day and I loved it. I'd go and get my massage and like one of the things that I loved about it was that you there and they'd give you this cold towel that had been in the freezer, and it had like lavender oil and beautiful things like
all mixed into it. And it was just the most beautifully refreshing thing to receive because you just get off your like sweaty scooter and you're so hot, so like the humidity and Bali's crazy, and you get inside this nice cool room and put this frozen towel on your face. Anyway, so I was there with a girlfriend and I was raving on about this spa, and so we get on the scooter, we drive there, we get inside. I book him for like my hour massage and my facial and
all this shit. And I sit down and the guy brings over this towel, this towel that I have been raving to her about for ages. And I pick up a towel and I rub it on my face and I rub it on my hands, and then I rub it down my neck, and then I rub it all over my chest, and then I rub it over my back and then it starts to dry a little bit, and I was like, oh, oh my god, Oh my god, Nadia, can you smell me? And she was like, oh my god. Someone had fucking pissed on it and put it in
the freezer. And I had rubbed it all over me or I'm not, I am not kidding, Like you could not mistake the smell. It smelt like I had bathed in a man's urinal. I had rubbed a urinal cake on me, is what it smelt like. I'm so confused. Who would do that? Obviously some disgruntled employee did it? Not only that, like my tower was considerably more yellow than Nadia's tower as well. And I screamed, bloody murder, and I ran into the bathroom and then I splashed
water all over myself. And I was in such disbelief and found it so funny. At the time, I still went through with my massage. I might you didn't even say anything I did, but oh, they just kind of laughed at me. Are you serious? It was you? Anyway, there was a nice little bonus I certainly unfilled for the end of the episode. How did you forget that a lot of things have happened to me in my life, Brendan,
that you just boxed it away, boxed it away. He put the trauma in a box, and you put it into your closet until you sit down and do a podcast and it just really brings out those suppressed memories. Okay, all right, Well on that note, guys, if you have any questions for I Ask Uncut episode for Thursday, please are write in. Also, if you haven't joined the Facebook group yet, you need to get on that, like sort your life out. It is at Life Uncut podcast. There
is also at Life Uncut Podcasts for Instagram. And that's all there is, folks. There isn't anymore. No, we're not gonna start a new ending. We shed a love because we will. Dana Bayoa