A Terminal Diagnosis at Twenty Five - Uncut with Kellie Finlayson

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.

Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land.

Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.

I'm Brittany and I'm Laura. And today's episode, look, we really cover the whole gamut. We talk about some very silly things. We talk about a new blowdob machine called the Auto Blow Ai Plus, but we also have a incredibly important conversation with a beautiful woman named Kelly Flinlayson.

We are talking about Kelly's battle with bow cancer. Kelly's such an incredible person, but she's on a mission to raise awareness for early detection.

Yeah, and I think one of the big take homes for me is bow cancer is something that I have always attributed to being an old person's problem. Only twenty five when she was diagnosed without cancer. She was also diagnosed three months after having her little beautiful baby girl, Sophia. But one of the things that I think is the most incredible part of Kelly's story is just her unbelievable positivity, her resilience, and her determination to beat this cancer.

Guess whose birthday was on the weekend? Not mine? And there's only one of the boom probably someone famous, famous, please, I mean probably someone famous out there, but it was also yours.

Do you know what I feel like? If you follow me on Instagram, you would probably know because I went hard this year. I was like, you know what, everyone, it's my birthday and I never do that because I never celebrate birthday. It was the Big.

Three zero, so I congratulations thirty again. Everyone thirty for the seventh time. Not even I am thirty seven. I'm a proud thirty seven year old.

And the reason why I think this year I was so across Instagram. I was so like, it's my birthday is because I think it's the first year this is self indulgent, but I feel so happy. I feel so indulgous, so happy. I feel so content with being thirty seven. I think other years I've been like, oh god, thirty six, what does that mean? Who am I? I don't know. This year, I was just like, yeah, I'm thirty seven, and my boobs are much lower than they were.

The ruh.

So funny because it does happen as you get older. So as you're aging in your twenties towards thirty, you start to get a bit petrified of what's going to happen in the next decade, like all of a sudden, your life is over. But then when you're in your thirties, it gets easier every year because you get more comfortable with who you are. I think you're start caring a lot less. I think you're more open to just going after what you want in life, being content, finding your happiness.

I agree, but I think we've sold a very different story. I think from when I was in my twenties, I was told that, well, as you get older, every year it gets worse and worse. You should be more and more fearful as that time and clock ticks by. And now, look, I'm thirty seven, I'm not turning one hundred. But I I think, I genuinely think every year for me has gotten better and better. And it's not because of any achievements that I've made. It's not because of like work

I do.

We can edit it out, so so, Brittany, I do agree with you. No, I don't want to because I don't want to edit it, but I think I think now I want to add to it. I definitely do think it's an age thing that you do get more comfortable as you grow, but I think it also comes with where you are at in life. So I don't want to group everyone that's aging in their thirties to be you know, you get happier every year. It's definitely if you feel like you have what you always thought

I am so glad you said that, because I think for me, I'm at a point in life where maybe I guess I used to care a lot what other people thought of me, and that used to be a really big dictator of my happiness, even if in textbook I was where I or what I was supposed to be. I leveled up to whatever metric I had placed for myself. My care for how other people viewed me really affected me, and I think that with age, I care less and

Don't leave us bad reviews. We still care.

We care. I take it back, No that like I think that it's just this level of self acceptance. But I absolutely agree, britt. Maybe if I wasn't at a point, or if I didn't have the things that I always wanted, maybe I wouldn't feel that way.

I still care what people think, not as much for it to bother me, but mine is more accepting of the fact that sometimes life's journey for us, and I don't like the word journey, but the path that we take, let's go with it.

I'll lean into it.

Let's lean into it. The journey and the path that we have been given might not be the one we had planned. And with that acceptance comes a little bit of reprieve from the stress and the pressure of I'm at this age and I don't have what I want, because man, I thought I would have three houses, a husband, five dogs, two kids, who.

I pick it fat they were going to have three houses in this climate. Jesus Christ.

When I was twenty, I was like, I'm setting myself a goal. At thirty years old, all I wanted to do was hustle, be a property mogul. I literally remember saying to my boyfriend, I wanted to have four kids. I want to be a young I'm thirty six. Nearly this year, I'm thirty six, and I'm like a hurricane. But my comfort now comes from the acceptance of the future and follow the path I want to take now.

I really want to reiterate that I think, especially as women, that we are sold that age is such a defining factor on who we are and our value, Like this idea that as we get older, we become more invisible, that what we can contribute and who we are as people is less and less valuable.

And I think opportunities dry up, Relationship opportunities dry up. That's what we're told when we're in our twenty Yeah, and.

We're told to be all that were supposed to fret as each year rolls by that were supposed to be a little bit less, Like no one's supposed to go into their forties, being like I'm done and forty and that's great. We've been sold that that's not how you should approach aging, and I think it takes a real mindset shift to each year be like, you know what, I'm so happy to be here. And actually it was something that Matt's mom said. So, Matt's mum, she's seventy two,

It's so true.

It's so true. Anyway, that was it. I had a beautiful weekend with the kids. We went up to Cool and Gatter Kingscliff area. We did literally everything it used to be. We literally did not know. We did every single thing you could possibly do in that area. It used to be that, like prior to my birthday, I just go out and smash margaritas and that would be how I would celebrate. And now we go to things like fruit World and take the kids Macedamia, Nu picking. What did you think of the area?

What did you think of Cooley and that area in Crima because I often think about moving there. I haven't told you that, but I often think about movie not yet, No.

Stop trying to live life or Scotland ear to me, or Scotland is an absolutely better siving here. Just speaking of Scotland, Britt leaves in two days to go to Scotland.

I am and head into Scotland.

And you don't have to say Scotland like that every time you say it. I actually can't say it with it that like it's a viscual reaction.

I have to be Scotland.

So literally, as we sat down to record this episode, the first thing brit says, just before we turn the MIC's on, was I can't believe I'm gonna have sex in two days. I can't fucking wait. Let's talk about that for a second.

That was off my cloru. Sometimes we have a friendship.

Conversation happy birthday to you, pretty Hockley.

Yeah, it's not my birthday and until August, but I'm gonna have a pre birthday celebration in two days.

What are you most looking forward to? What part of it?

No, let's get into this. No, of course I'm not. Look if I just wanted sex, I wouldn't been a long distance relationship.

I would just.

Be with someone down the road that I can had sex with all the time.

I love Ben. I love him.

When I'm with him, I feel amazing and he makes me feel like I'm blushing right now, I'm so cute, feel like I feel like I'm eighteen right now. No, but I love this early feeling in a relationship and you often forget, you miss it until you have it again, the feeling of just like like what I just said, when I'm like I'm blushing and I feel like I'm seventeen again, I still get really excited at the thought

Well, that's the thing, right, Like, when you're in a long distance relationship that is prolonged because normally.

Oh, will never know if we actually hate each other.

Well never not.

We'll never figure it out until you're actually together, and then it's too late. You spend so many years committing your soul.

I'm like fifty five, and I'm like, damn it, when I finally.

Live with him, we're actually completely incompatible.

No, but do you know what I'm actually really looking forward to jokes aside sex, aside what come away for sex, I'm really looking forward to that connection and intimacy physically without the sex, just like affection, have someone cuddle you, lay in bed and fall asleep with someone, the little like kisses that just that little having someone around you that doesn't even have to be touching you, but the feeling of having someone in your house and near you,

I mean, it's a very different type of connection that you get and a type of comfort that you get from like your intimate partner. Like friends can fill the cup, friends can fill the void. But I think you don't feel me like Ben.

Oh that I had to do the opportunity was saying.

I will. I'll fill a lot of other ones, but yeah, I'll leave that one to Ben.

I don't have one you fill my cup Aline that way either, Laura. In all seriousness though, there's a big part of me, and it's probably wrong to say it, but Ben really looks after me. And when I'm there and I'm with him, I feel like I just don't have to think of anything because I feel like in my day to day life I have to do everything because I live alone. But like when something's broken, I fix it. I have to think about all the bills.

That just like can't wait to do that you're like, I'm going to be on a mental holiday, lots of sex. No one couldn't wait for What else.

Can I bring you?

Fuck me, feed me and do everything me, love me, fuck me, feed me, and I'm happy girl.

But do you know what? Okay?

Then going back to my weekend for a second. So it's something I wanted to talk to you about because I've realized, Actually, no, I'm not going to say that I'm the mom that I thought I would never be. But I dealt with something on the weekend. After posting to Instagram. I dealt with some backlash and a wonderful troll told me what a ship parent I was, and I kind of wanted to talk about it.

Oh, you got mum shamed.

I got mum shamed hardcore. So I put up a post yesterday, put up a post on Sunday, and it was Matt and I going out for a date night for dinner. But obviously we were away with the kids, and so we didn't have babysitters, so we brought the kids to date night.

I thought were about to say, so we just left the kids at home.

No, apparently you can't do that with they're three and two. We brought them to date night, and also because it was like my birthday dinner. But to be fair, they probably weren't particularly in the mood to go out for dinner. They would have liked to have just eaten at the hotel and gone to bed. But you know what, I was like, it's my last night, I want to go out for a dinner. It was a super early dinner. It was six pm. It's not like we're going out having rages when we've got the kids with us.

Totally, the sun was stiller.

But you know what, every so often when you take the kids out for dinner and you just want to have a conversation with your partner, You just want to sit down and have an adult conversation where the two of you were speaking to each other and you're not running around after your children. Because trust me, Laura does

You may to stay at home.

So I brought a friend along with me. I brought their iPads. You did what I did. I brought their iPads and I set them up at dinner. Are the worst? Such a neglect and you were so neglectful. And you know what I always thought when I, like, before I had kids, I was like, I will never be the parent that distracts my children with screens. I will never

I don't know one of my friends that have kids that didn't say that. Every single person I know that had a kid is like, I am never going to be that mum. My kid's going to go outside and play. They're going and play with toys, wooden toys, not plastic. You know, everyone has this idea and of course that's great, but no, it doesn't work in reality. Everyone wants to be the best possible parent that they can be. Reality

Yeah.

But I think also when you say that you know everyone wants to be the best parent that they can be, I still feel like people. I'm sure there are parents who rely too heavily on iPads and screen time because it's an easy distractor. I've got no doubt that they exist. But I would say the majority of parents still want

So you actually owned it. You owned the fact that you're like, I know that I'm giving them an iPad, so you like tried to pre out the trolls from coming.

Oh yeah, no, I wasn't even pre outing the trolls. I was just owning the fact that, like literally ninety percent of parents will do it from time to time and that it's okay. And I think sometimes, you know, having these relatable parenting moments where you see somebody else who's on Instagram. You know, we had our kids, We took them to so many activities that day. Sometimes you can look at how other people are parenting and you think,

So what did you come at you with?

Why take kids to a date night? Maybe the rest of the date nights would have a better time. And then there was some back and forth and then this person you respond, No, no, I didn't respond. Other people did oh, I made it a rule to not bring my children on date nights. Luxury has nothing to do with it. Respect for other people has everything to do with it. But then again, I was taught that as a child.

The audacity.

I was pretty irate by this because I think I can actually imagine because I know you well. The reason why I got me so fired up is because it comes down to this one reoccurring thing that I see. The only people that I ever see shaming mums for doing a shit job in their eyes are other mums who have already done it. It's other mums who hold people up to the standard and say like, you're not doing it the way I did it, and so therefore

She's like, it's never a man that comes on to Shamus. I wonder why it's hard for me. I'm not a mum, but I wonder why that is. Where does that judgmental attitude come from.

I think it comes back to a bit of internalized misogyny. I think it comes back to this idea that as mothers, we should be sacrificial, that we should be doing everything for our children, and that if you prioritize yourself at the expense of your child, that you're then putting them

And think you're going to be a specific person in any aspect of life. You're going to go into a relationship or parenting or a job in a certain way, and life has other plans for you. Things change. On top of that, we're in a different generation now, where our generation, I mean iPads and technology wasn't really around. But now your kids are almost at a disadvantage going into school if they don't know how to use those things.

What? Yes, they use.

Projectors from an iPad and they all have iPads and it's a whole nother world. Some kids don't even know what chalk.

Is, Laura. Everybody yes screwed because of technology. It also will be well, well connected and all super lonely. Not a nice segue, but I want to talk about blowjobs. That is a very weird segue from going from mum shaming to blowjobs.

That's what we do here.

We cover it's because Britt will be giving a few of them this weekend.

Definitely not like this. Wait, shall I tell you this now? I have just shown you a photo, Laura. But there's a new it's called auto blow and it's it's AI.

This is the fucking weirdest segue, Like, let me talk about Look, it's a fleshlight that we're gonna be talking about. It's AI.

It's artificial intelligence in a blowdrob. So it's a masturbation tool for men.

It's a flashlight, but it's a fancy flesh light.

Well, it's a fleshlight on steroid.

It's like this thing.

I'm gonna first of all, before we talk about what it doesn't gonna describe it to you. When I first saw it, I really got soda stream vibe.

You've got soda stream and I got soft serve machine. It looks like a soft serve.

It's like a little if you guys know what soft serve, or like a soda stream where you put the thing in. So it's like a little contraption. It's pretty narrow, like I don't know how tall it is, maybe twenty centimeters.

Do you know what?

We're gonna put a picture of it on our Instagram. We'll put a picture up. But then I would not looking at me like, can you please not put this on Instagram.

Then it looks like it has this material like this soft silicon at the top, then a long Dill dot we tube. Then it's got some screws and some locks. And I would not want this thing anywhere near my deck if I had a penis. But what it is is it has a silicone mouth sleeve. It is a masturbation to afford the penis. It goes into it like a vagina. But it has a remote control and it has all these voice command and has all these different

I feel like, you've never seen a flesh light before, because you just described a flesh light.

Yeah, but no, because flesh lights aren't remote controlled and don't do blowjobs. Flesh lights is just it feels like a nice, tight, warm apple pipe.

Yeah. So normally I feel like with okay, this is really getting descriptive. If you've never seen a flash light, this might be foreign to you. A lot of them are manual, so a guy would just get hard, stick his penis in it, and then bang it up and down, you know, and that's what feels and simulates being inside someone.

It's just like using a dildo. Like it's manual, you still have to It's the same thing for a man. So they get their flesh light, they still have to manually do it.

So the thing that's different about this is it has almost like a clamp that clamps down on the penis, and it's the clamp that moves. I'm making clamp sounds very visceral, but it's like screw it. Yeah, it's like

They are sold separately, yes, not included in the costs. Must by separately, can use together.

So you can experience a different sensation. And it has this AI technology now, so you can literally speak to your flesh light and tell it to go down on you in different ways, so it'll perform more of a sucking motion, more of a sucking twist motion, whatever it is. Some people like different, you know, different strokes for different folks. That literally applies in this in this instance.

It has ten blowjob experiences, ten speeds per experience, and the edge button to pause your blow job at any time so you can edge yourself. Theoretically this is brilliant. But why is it now? This is a conversation that we were all having off air between ourselves produce Kisha, Laura and myself. Why is it that there is something about this it's a bit creepy because it's just a masturbation tool, right, Why does it feel a little bit off?

Okay? I feel like for me and we were having a laugh about this, like this is how this came up. We were laughing about this auto blow AI plus thing, and we were like, why does this exist? But I think the real question is why do we see female sex toys, sex toys like dildos and vibrators as this

No?

I mean, yeah, right, that's a big question that we don't have answers for. Yes, for me, I like the idea of masturbation tools accessories to look as simple as possible. I'm talking just a beautiful, smooth, vibrated dildo. I don't want it to be hanging from something and plugged in and WIPEI and plastic coming off it in all angles and shapes. Personal thing.

You like a chic. You're like a little pink chic looking sleepy things, sexy, poor a dildo that looks as far away from an actual penis as possible. But when I look at this contraption, so even it looks more like Keisha's frank green water bottle than it doesn't pis. It's pastor purple.

I'm looking at this now, you guys will put a picture up on our Instagram. There is nothing about this that I would want to be using in a sexy intimate relationship with my partner.

It literally has blue.

Plastic everywhere, screws, clamps, corkdowns, has got a voice machine there. It doesn't do it for me. I'd be interested to see how many people look at this and we'll be turned on.

Well, I mean, I don't think it's for our demographic of females. I feel like this is very much I mean, even the coloring of it is very much full man. However, I disagree with you in some ways because I think the thing about guys pleasure toys or whatever we want to call them. Flesh lights, and whatnot is that they always seem to look very much like they are mimicking a body part. When I think of flesh lights, they're

Do you think I haven't heard this? The only thing I will say is I haven't heard what's sound this makes. So I don't know if it's like because it's mechanical, I don't know if it's like ring ring, or if it's like a blow drum.

Is like anyway, I think like the big take home from this conversation, we're all very confused by it. But the take that's my.

Point, not everything else have a point.

No, I think there is a point. I think the point is almost reframing why do we see sex toys in such different ways. I don't think that we're being biased, Like I'm thinking it's not just us who thinks this.

I also think it's very societal. We're just having a real moment at the moment where everywhere you look women and there's sex toys and women in masturbation and women in pleasure.

It's out in having a moment.

It's having a moment, and it's out and as loud and it's proud and it's amazing. But we don't see it as much for the men. So then when we do, it's a bit taboo.

Still.

Well do you know why as well? It's because male sexual pleasure has always been out, loud and proud. It has always been in public display. I mean, there's always been the conversation about men are sexually driven, that it's like very common for men to masturbate. Male sexual desire has been well documented and spoken about throughout all of time. And the reason why it's almost like the pendulum has had to swing so far in the opposite direction is because for women, for so long it was taboo, and

Anyone listening if you have used one of these in your relationship, or if you're a guy listener you've used one, I'd love you to run in and tell us just purely curiosity to see how similar it is to getting a blowjob. That's what I want to know. That's my take home.

Like contact us and tell us talk us through your fleshlight experience. Yeah, like an out of ten. I want you to go now.

And it's called the auto blow a one plus an automatic jerk off machine roughly the size and shape of a small box with round edges.

Please, if you have used one, let us know. Just Curiosity connects to Wi Fi you can download different experiences. You can control the blow job using voice command. But anyway, if a Flashlight would like to sponsor this podcast, come on board next week.

Joining us on the podcast today is Kelly Finlayson. Now, Kelly is married to Port Adelaide AFL player Jeremy Finlayson. They just recently got married, so big congratulations.

Together.

They have a baby girl named Sophia. In August twenty twenty one, after just giving birth to her daughter and at only twenty five years old, Kelly was diagnosed with bow cancer. She was otherwise happy and healthy. Kelly has been sharing her battle with cancer on social media in an effort to raise awareness around the disease, especially in young people. Now, at just twenty seven, she has received

Okay, So I actually had to ask my partner if I was allowed to share this because it is quite abassing.

That's always a good start when you're like, let me check.

Yeah, I did have to check. So when we were very, very fresh.

It was actually around Easter time, when we're very fresh in the relationship, and I obviously have had really bad vows for quite some time, and I had left a little bit of a Pooh stain on a quick cover and convinced him that it was chocolate to the point because it was Easter time, to the point that he like wiped it.

No, No, at least you have a baby. You could have blamed it on though you didn't have to take faul for that.

No, the baby didn't exist. No, we didn't have babies at this turn. This was like three weeks in. Yeah, this is very fresh.

That is actually, Kelly, I'm going to say it, that has to be one of the most embarrassing ones I've ever had.

Mortified.

At least he didn't put it to his mouth. At least it was just his nose.

He smelt it and then did he call it? Was he like, babe, I know that's Pooh.

It was like, no, one, you need to go to the gift shot yourself.

Mortifying.

Actually, there's not often that I'm It's not often that I put myself in the position and I'm like, I'm mortified for this person, but I actually am.

And at the time, he was in it like an apartment building that they had to share launcher on each level because he was living in Sydney's obviously really small apartments. And I literally took the sheetsps straight away, the quick growl straight away and put it into the wash and just pretended nothing happened.

I know that we've just started, We've gotten right in there. We started with the poo chat, but I feel like we're going to get pretty comfortable and talking about things. And I'm guessing that you are now at a point in your life where speaking about poo must be something

So prior to.

A diagnosis, we had just had Sophia, so she was three months old. We'd just moved home to Adelaide from Sydney with Jess's job. Luckily enough, able to get a trade, to be closer to family for help with So things were actually just going really really well. Obviously having a new babies exciting as it is, but then also being closer to home, closer to all my friends because I grew up in Essay and then went to school in Adelaide.

So I was like, finally, like gonna start.

Living my life, living the milk life on the beach. Yeah, but no, it didn't turn out that way. Obviously, So I was a school teacher, but obviously during COVID didn't teach much all online.

So I was, yeah, were you primary school or high school?

No? Am a high school math teacher?

I you I would never have guessed that.

No, no one really does. I don't come across as the most intelligent human.

But no, no, it's not that.

I just feel like when I think of high school math teachers and I think they're young miles. I don't think of the people. I think of those old men with the glasses.

Yeah, old men, I know.

And funnily enough, all of university obviously, because doing math courses were all like engineering courses, they were all like middle aged men.

Imagine the school kids, imagine like seventeen year old kids. When Kelly walks all of a sudden, I love math very distracting.

You can imagine the comments.

Yeah, Kelly, I mean going back to your accidently on filter story. I mean, I know I can't. We haven't move on from it because we've got a head back there. But I mean your story. And there was a diagnosis that came after Sophia was born, but you just mentioned that you were having issues with your bows kind of a long time before that. Can you give us a little bit of context around like what you were experiencing and at what point did you realize, Okay, something is absolutely not right here.

So I had about two to three years of symptoms in terms of just differences in my found movements and stuff like that, and like they're bloating, just anything that you kind of relate to period. So like all of the symptoms around your period, I was getting, but like more than just the week of my period, which I thought was just me being a girl. And then obviously when I was pregnant, all the pregnancy symptoms were very similar as well. So it wasn't until I actually had blood in my poo that I.

Thought something was wrong.

I thought I was just like everyone else had had the lactose intolerance or something like that.

It's funny that you say that when you say I just thought I was being a girl, because you're just like, oh, it's just my crazy hormones this week. Yeah, we always passed it off as something. But when you went to the doctor with these initial symptoms, what did they tell you it was? What advice did they give you in the early stages when you were like, oh, I don't feel right.

Yeah, So initially I went and got seen by nature paths and whatnot, and like did all of the herbal teas and all of the stuff like that, and then I started twenty twenty. I actually did a poo sample which must have shown up some sort of discrepancy because they booked me for colonoscopy, which then got canceled because of COVID because it was an elective surgery or procedure.

But yeah, so initially it.

Was literally just avoid these foods and test if it's an aalergy to this food, or maybe you were not exercising enough, even though I was running marathons, so like wasn't an issue not drinking enough water and just like the general chitch out of that stuff.

Yeah, were you in any pain at the time or was it just this kind of you know, symptomatic kind of discomfort.

Yeah, discomfort, Absolutely, no pain. I've never had pain even after diagnosis, during all my treatment.

Never pain.

How is it that you did your pooh sample and they found something wasn't correct right enough to say you need to go for a kolonoscopy? But then they can cancel the kolonoscopy because they're saying it's elective and you're choosing to what do you have to do for it to not be elected? What do you have to do to say, like if you had markers in your pooh to say you required further examination, how can they possibly cancel that? Because there must be a part of you.

Yeah, well that's right, So like if I that's what kind of what I'm advocating for at the moment, is like the early detection, because if I had have gone, I could have literally just got the polyp or whatever was there removed, and I would have never even had to have treatment or like a reception nothing like that, which is kind of frustrating, But it's because I didn't

I mean, your three months postpartum, and I would also assume that during that phase, there's already so many changes that are happening to your body that it's probably possible for you to kind of think that maybe this is part of the postpartum phase as well. So when you went for your colonoscopy and and I'm guessing an endoscopy and they did all of the greenings, what was that period like and kind of how did you then find out how progressed things were in terms of cancer.

I definitely did just pass off everything as postpartum because it was my first child.

I had nothing to compare it to.

We can hear her now, I liked out Dady Daddy.

Yeah, so I just passed everything off as postpartum because I had nothing to compare it to. I had no friends that I had had babies either, so it was kind of hard to even talk to them about whether it was right or not. All I had was doctor Google,

It was just a tumor in my column.

That I felt like I need to pass, but I couldn't pass it obviously because it's a tumor. But yeah, So then we went to a doctor and she was like straight away when I said there was blood, she was like, that's not good at all, Like, obviously, yes, you can have blood and toilet paper from like wiping too hard or whatever. But in the actual poo itself was like a big scary no no.

I saw a specialist two days.

Later, had a colonoscopy within a week, and the next day I was seeing a surgeon.

So it was like very very fast paced.

So what was the time frame, just to get our head around it, what was the timeframe when you were supposed to get your colonoscopy originally in COVID to when you were actually diagnosed.

So March twenty twenty and then I got diagnosed November twenty twenty one, so eighteen months.

Yeah.

Wow, that must be so frustrating for you.

So frustrating because it was like so progressed.

When you got to a point where you and I mean this is quite a graphic question, but when you got to the point where you were like, okay, there is blood now. Was it consistent, like every time you went to the toilet you were like, all right, there's always blood, yeah, and I need to go and sort this out. Was that when the real alarm bells started ringing for you?

Yeah, so probably like three days straight of the blood. Prior to that, I thought I was just bleeding from having a baby naturally, like vaginally, because sorry, every birth is natural. But yeah, I thought that there was just blood from that because it was eight weeks or so that.

That can happen.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah. And then it was like maybe three or four days that it just happened in a row a month later that I was like, I can't be my period already because I'm breastfeeding, Like, surely not.

So then I was like, it's definitely in my poo.

And then I'd like actually looked in the toilet bowl and for like three days straight it was in there.

So yeah, I imagine that that moment that you get called in the day after to have the discussion about what's next. I imagine that's a day now that will you know, it literally changed the course of your life. What was that day like and was it really just jumping into action? Was it like this is it we start tomorrow?

Yeah.

So the day of the colonoscopy, I actually found out that it was cancer just because the gastro antologist told me. He was like, this is what cancer looks like. He basically showed me a photo of the insides of my bow, and I was like, holy shit, like cancer, I'm twenty five at the time, and I was like, that is not something that I would have thought it would be. Ever, Like I thought they wouldn't give me a nutrition plan of how to deal with crones or.

Something like that.

And then he was like, way too much to process tonight sort of thing, but I've booked you in for four point thirty tomorrow. He's a great surgeon, like at Flinder's, Like it was just it was also go go go. So I literally just went home, had two friends meet me home straight away, and like I couldn't even talk to them about it because I was like, it's not real. Like I was in denial, complete denial. I think we all were, to be honest. And then the next day I saw the surgeon and he was like, we got

So originally we thought stage three because it was in the lymph nodes.

And then when we had a pet scan it was tracking up like that, so like straight away at stage four, so it had already moved from the original spot up further towards my spine. So it was like basically straight away when bam, like got to get it onto this.

So did they tell you that? And on that day they just really don't beat around the bush?

Are they like this?

It is what it is.

They can't beat around the bush, like they can't sugarcoat it because it's that wouldn't be fair on me.

But also like their job is literally to tell me this is what we have to do in order to prolong the life.

How do you process that, especially knowing you've just had a little baby, your life is heading in this incredible direction, and then you just get this unbelievable news, Like how do you even process what's going on around you?

It was denial for a very very long time. And also like so while we're going through like the treatment side of things, it's kind of just everything's in the doctor's hands. There's nothing really I can do other than trust that they know what they are doing. So I didn't process things until the treatment had finished and I was essentially no evidence of disease in July. So from November to July I didn't process anything. It was like

And what does that mean? So if you say that you've received a terminal cancer diagnosis, as in stage four, but then you are and get to a point of being disease free, how do those two things coincide? How can you be disease free if you've been given this like almost morbid diagnosis.

Yeah, so basically, any stage four cancer diagnosis is considered terminal only because the chances of survival are so slim. But the course of action that we took with the treatment was so invasive and aggressive it was crazy. Like I was literally on my deathbed after each cycle of treatment, like it was nothing anyone should ever go through. But I knew why I was going through it, if that

Down the track.

Do they when they say you have stage four? Do they give you a time frame? You know, you watch the movies and you're like, you have three months to live, you have one year to live. Could they do that for you?

No?

No, so they wouldn't and they're not going to do that until they literally can't control it. So because the chemo works so well for me and my cancer responds so well, they were never going to give me a timeline. Obviously, they told me like the statistics of the five year like seven percent chance of making it five years and whatever, But they didn't say like, oh, you've got three months

When I think of bow cancer, my very first thought is that it's an old people's problem. I would never in a million years think that someone's so young that it could even be a possibility. Do you feel like it's maybe an illness that's been underrepresented in young people, that it's something we should be more aware of, or do you think you are just such an anomaly in this instance.

No, so I think it's just not talked about. I think it's an embarrassing cancer to have. It's not breast cancer. It's not like melanoma from being the sun too much sort of thing. Like it's not a sexy cancer. Like it's not something that I guess you would want to have a chat about, even like if you're a twenty year old girl, you're not going to tell someone to be got blood in you poo, Like it's just not something that's talked about.

But it's so common.

Like the amount of people that I've met since being diagnosed that have also been diagnosed or had polyps removed because of the symptoms that I've had is actually outrageous. Like I'm like, this is crazy. I'd never heard of any of this until I was diagnosed, but now there's so many people, Like even just with mind surgeon. Like they literally call it the Kelly cancer my surgeon because he's had so many people come since that have had the exact same thing.

It's just crazy, which.

Is actually so amazing in a sense that whether you know it or not, now you are making such a difference, like the number people that you have already brought awareness to. Like when I told a few people that I was getting you on because I thought it was really important, and they're like, oh my god, I've read about Kelly. I've booked an appointment because of that, Like you really are, and like you just said, people aren't talking about it because it's the shit cancer.

Literally, it's shit.

It's the pooh, it's the things that the bodily functions that people are like ill and not. Like you said, it's not a sexy cancer. I don't think any cancer is sexy. But I understand what you mean. But you really are. You're doing incredible things. But let's talk about your treatment. Did you do it all? Because I know you can have surgery, radiation, chemo. What were your treatment options?

Yep, So initially they gave me though they asked me if wanted to do my IBF, but then it was just basically after my scans, it was like, look, if you prolong these two weeks to do the IBF, it's going to be too far gone sort of thing, like you've got a kid, let's just be happy with her and then we'll move on.

And that's because the chemo can basically kill your chances of fertility and conceiving him.

Yeah, that's right. So like I've gone into early menopause, so I can come back from that.

I don't know what was that puriri light before we kind of just scooted over that. Yeah, you know, being so young and being a new mum and thinking maybe you might want to have more kids in the future, but not having the opportunity to be able to freeze your eggs or go through the IVF treatment. How have you processed that? Have you been able to kind of make peace with it? Is it something that you're still struggling with?

Yeah, So that was honestly, my biggest struggle was knowing that I may not give Sophia any siblings, which is so hard, Like we'd always plan to have a big family, Like it's just something that I've always wanted, which was so hard to Like the hardest pill to swallow out of all the pills that I've swallowed the last eighteen months.

Regardless of whether I keep remission or not.

And even then if that's ten years time, that's a very big age gap and I'll be having children very late. So we do have like the option of like egg donors or surroga. See, like I know that there's options out there, it's just trying to find when I am well enough to even have the newborn or if that's something that we even want to do now, knowing like how hard it's been having one child with his illness, Like if I do relapse in five years time, having two would just be even harder.

So yeah, that's the question then, isn't it. So do you think you would look at going down that track, like what's your criteria? Would you want to wait until you had one hundred percent intermission in the clear or do you think you would want to do it anyway, to continue to grow your family for your husband, Jeremy.

So I'll never be one hundred percent clear whatever every three months, so my check up, it'll be like if I do eventually get no evidence of diseas this time around, like it will be a scare or await every single time, just like waiting for the all clear.

But I don't think I'll ever be one hundredercent in permission.

But it will probably I've got to be at least twelve one post my second diagnosis to even start working again, let alone to start thinking about having a family, like whether my uterus can carry again, whether I have to sorrcey. Like it's a long process, but we probably won't start talking about it to the end of the year.

Have you felt like you've been able to be the type of mum that you wanted to be? You know, I think we all had these ideas of what motherhood's going to be like, and it's almost like so much of your time of motherhood's being robbed by being sick

Yeah, so I was one hundred percent robbed of my first year of motherhood, like completely robbed of it. My mum's actually moved in with us last year, and then she's just recently again moved back in to be full time care of Sophia and me.

As it is, But no, it wasn't obviously what I thought it was going to be.

I have this time around been able to connect a lot more and have given a lot more energy to her, which is really nice, especially now that she's so busy.

But when she was a newborn, she probably didn't even know who her mum was.

If I'm being honest, she would have had about five or six women in her life that were around.

Just as much as I was.

So she knows who mummy is now, but at the time it was just another figure in her life.

It really does tell really, So I'm so sorry, Like I can't comprehend with going through that sort of diagnosis, but I think going through it at the time in your life where you were going through it, when it's such a pivotal I mean, it's such a pivotal time for your identity, for you being able to embrace motherhood, but also knowing that you had to focus on your

Yeah, quite literally, the mental side of it was the hardest part of the entire recovery periods, Like, twelve nights away was the most that I did in hospital, not saying Sofia because of COVID time she was under sixteen, so she wasn't vaccinated so couldn't actually come into the hospital. Yeah, so twelve nights away from her was the hardest time, Like,

And so let's go over to your treatment options. What options did they give you and what did you decide to do and why?

So I didn't really get any options as such. It was more so, here's your regime. This is all what's gonna work, Like, we need to fight this is as aggressively as we possibly can. So we went straight in with five weeks of every day having radiotherapy, So twenty five days of radiotherapy, got the weekends off over Christmas, which was intense, but then also taking chemotherapy tablets. So I took eight chemo tablets a day on those days as well.

So that was my first I guess bout of treatment. Once that was up.

Then I had six intense rounds of the IV chemotherapy, which was they literally put me on my deathbed every single time, like I was getting toxic shock to the treatment every single time I was being admitted.

What were those symptoms for people listening now that don't know.

No, I was literally on my deathbed, like I was literally hooked up in hospital with like the droops and stuff, was so chronically dehydrated, like I was getting toxic shocks, so I was allergic to one of the compound drugs in the chemotherapy. We didn't know that until afterwards. I thought that I was just being completely attacked by this chemo. But it was working so well. My markers were coming down so well that I just kept going back every time.

When you say you're allergic to it, do you mean one of the carriers of what carries the chemotherapy through your body, Like I think one of them is castor oil or something.

Yeah.

So I had to stop on my fifth treatment. I was meant to do the sick I had to stop halfway through my as well. But I was allergic to the oxyplaton, which is literally just one of the compounds in the drip itself that was going in.

So this time around they've taken that out and I'm like living like normal. It's so good.

So then I had a bower reception, so they removed my rectum and some of my sigmoid column, so about twenty centimeters of my bower and then just reconnected it, and I had a colostomy for nine months, an't ialiosto me for three months, so I literally shout out of my stomach. But it's like my colon has been stitched to my stomach and I literally poo out of my stomach.

So like most people think there's like even my dad.

Thought there was like a hose into my bow that would make it come out, but no, I'm literally stitched my bow to my stomach and it's an opening on my stomach.

How do you deal with the psychological impacts of that?

I hated that for a bit in terms of the bag on my stomach. It was uncomfortable, especially for someone that like I genuinely like what I look like in the mirror when I wake up in the mornings, so having that there, like I didn't have sex with my husband for six months, probably because I was so disgusted in myself. He didn't give a shit, but I was so disgusted in myself. And then I probably took about six months for me to get used to it, and then it was kind of like a countdown until I

But yeah, why was that?

I mean, you just mentioned that your husband, Jeremy was like, I couldn't care us. What was this? Going back to the diagnosis, how did he take that? How did he sort of jump into action and handle the situation.

I think he was scared, not so much that I was sick, but scared that he would have to be a mum and a dad. Like he had done a couple of days of just him and sofa and it was obviously so hard. He doesn't have nipples, he can't feed his child naturally, so like he was scared that he was going to have to do the mum and dad's side of things, which I could imagine would be freaking scary being a single parent without choosing to be

Only be brought out of his shell if I was with him sort of things.

So watching me then be the little one in the shell was just hard for him.

Kelly, you are I mean, even speaking to you now, like you're so vibrant, you are so positive, you seem so incredibly resilient, And I would say, if I didn't know any better, I'd say, but you look so well. And I can only imagine that must be an incredibly frustrating thing to deal with when you are and have been so sick, dealing with people be like, but are you sure you're that sick? You look so well.

I literally had someone from up to me and David Jones after my most recent diagnosis and I was shopping for shoes for Sophia. I remember it so clearly because I was so shocked. I had some random lady walk up past me about two meters away from me like, you look awfully well for someone that's terminally ill.

I was like, huh, they're like almost like a challenge, like are you putting it on? Like? Was that their implication?

Do you think, like, are you trying to be an asshole? Or are you giving me a compliment saying I'm doing well looking well?

I know? I was like, I was like, what just came out of your mouth? I like walked the other way and had to like process it myself.

I was like, this is crazy that someone thinks that their opinion like that should be heard, let alone in person. Like I was like, what, Like, there's trolls and then there's that.

Oh, and I have seen some of the trolls on your Instagram that you've spoken about, and it's I was speaking of Keish law about it. Nothing makes my blood bowl and wi I was like, can you fucking believe these people? But you just mentioned your second diagnosis, so let's talk about that. So you've gone through your first round of chemo for your bowel cancer. What had happened then? Did you get good results saying you were in remission?

No, so no remission, but good results in terms of like nothing was showing up on scans, like if there was anything there was microscopic doing really really well, like come back in three months type thing will rescan you. So I was actually due for a scan in January, but then had symptoms in December, thinking I had COVID. I don't know if you've had COVID, but I literally just couldn't breathe, and like walking upstairs, I was like

And so I went into the hospital and I was like, guys, give me the drip. I need the drip.

I'm screwing, and they, luckily enough, the nurse at the time was like, oh, I follow your journey, like we'll take things really seriously, like any abnormalities to my health kind of they just want to take really seriously. And I was like, yeah, no worries, We'll do a CT

They were like, look, it's not looking good.

Like they showed me what it was and they were like, but the thing is, pneumonia does mimic cancer in a CT scan. So I was like, oh, it's just a pneumonia, Like it's fine, just pneumonia, which is crazy to think that I would just want that, but yeah, obviously in the grand scheme of things, that would be much better. And then they sent it off to like all of my specialists in Adelaide and they were like, no, not convinced.

Came back here and they did a.

Scope into my lungs, so bron cost pier rather than the like endoscopy into my bow, so it just went into my lungs and.

They found what they thought was a mucus plug.

Turns out that it was a like a little tiny baby tumor in one of my airways.

So when I woke up, they.

Were like, you told me to be honest, because I was like, don't bullshit me when I wake up sort of thing, like I know you don't know who I am, because like I've never met this man before. He was just doing it for as before my surgeon that does my other surgeries. And I was like, I, no, you don't know who I am, but don't bullshit me when I wake up. Tell me exactly what's going on. And he's like, yeah, no, or as, I'll tell you as

Was like, auck, not good.

Not exactly what I obviously wanted to hear. It's broke down in tears. I was there by myself, obviously, and they were like, look, we'll send you to the X, Y and Z this week and make sure that we've got it right, because we don't want to get it wrong.

He said I would recept it, and he wanted to recept it there and then, but just in case it had shown up anywhere else. If he recepted, that would put me back six weeks for treatment. So he's like, nah, we need to do the scans, do it properly.

And then when I went for scans, it was just literally everywhere, so they were like, ah, so keemo was your only option otherwise literally sending me home to just get comfortable.

Basically, what the diagnosis Stage four lung cancer.

No, so it's always bout cancer because that's where it's come from. So it's just bow cancer that's spread. So it's just secondary cancer that has spread two my lungths. So it's still stage four bow cancer because that's where the initial.

But metastasizers to the line.

Yeah that's right. Yeah.

So yeah, it was either go home and get comfortable or we're going to go through chemo again. So obviously I'm going through chemo again.

So where are you in terms of your chemo now? So which treatment are you up to for this round of processing and how are things looking?

So I am actually half way now of my eighteen week course of chemo, and so I'm half way now, So I go back in tomorrow morning for my fourth round and then I've got five and six.

But my markers had were obviously.

Higher when I've got rediagnosed, and they're back into.

The normal range.

So that's great.

Chemo is working really well. Yeah, it's working really well. It's not where we need them to be, but they are normal.

So like if I was to go for a three.

Month check up and that's where my markers were, they wouldn't even look further into it. But because obviously they know what's going on side, they're gonna finish off my three more rounds and I've also got an alternative treatment next week in the Gold Coast to try and progress that faster.

Throughout this whole process. And when you get the news that discouncer has metastasized to your lungs, like where is your mental health at? Like? How do you stay positive throughout all this?

M Yeah, so initially it was kind of like, to be honest, it was a bit like whole with me. I spent probably two or three weeks after I found out just hating everyone and anyone, like anyone would people be.

Like, it's right, you got through it once, we can do it again.

I'm like, you don't understand how hard it was the first time. Like I said, after my first round of treatment, I'm never doing again.

If it comes back, I'm never doing it again. Like I'm done.

But then I changed oncologists and he was rather than he's still straightforward, but he's rather than being like we have to do this medical medical medical medical medical sort of approach, he's like, your quality of life is so importan, like this is going to be a really long term thing now if we want to make it last, Like if we want to prolong your life, we can't just think about the next three months. We need to think

Helped isn't that amazing that just the difference in the way a doctor will speak to you can change you literally wanting to take the treatment that will save your life. But I imagine there is a difference with if you thinking you have to go to Helen back to live for three months, I imagine you'd be like, I'm not doing it, Like let's just do this now, Like that was so bad. But when someone gives you the optimism and the positivity to say, it is going to be a long run, but we can do this.

It's not just you.

You're doing it for now. You've got your daughter's sof and you've got your husband Jeremy, and I guess there's a different outlook on life.

Yeah, well that's right.

So I obviously was expecting to be unbelievably ill again, but after even five minutes of sitting in the chair, I was like, I feel so much better already knowing that it was a different regime. So if I didn't have Sophia, I don't know if I would have gone again. But because I obviously need to prioritize her and her having a mom to grow up with, because I couldn't imagine growing up without my mom, So yeah, I've just prioritized her and everything and it's working, Kelly.

When you're dealing with so much in your life, an overwhelming amount of you know, you've had one cancer diagnosis and then another one. How are you able to find the positivity and find things to be grateful for when there is so many things that you're dealing with in one time.

Yeah, So gratitude is something that I try so hard to find my three things each day. Like I used to do a journal long, long, like well before I had any diagnosis, and I always used to find three things that I was grateful for, but they were all quite I guess, trivial surface level stuff like, for example, good health, roof overhead, family, whatnot.

But yeah, when you are in hospital and you.

Don't have good health, you don't have your own roof over your head, and you don't have your family around for a long period time, especially during those COVID times, I found it a lot harder to find those three

Do have my daughter, like I'm grateful for her. I'm grateful for my partner.

I am grateful for my family, but like, yeah, those times that you don't have them around, it's so much harder to see them as something that you're grateful for because that they're just not there in your everyday life. So I guess still being able to find something positive out of such a negative experience really does help your mental health go a long way, like a really long way, which is I think so important. I think something that everyone should do is even if it's not written down in.

A journal, it's just when they wake up in the morning.

Like, look, I'm grateful that I get to get up and go to the gym this morning. Like, yeah, it's a slog, it's five o'clock in the morning, but I get to do that.

Like some people don't get to do that. And that's what.

People don't realize, Like your health is literally your wealth. Like if you are able to do something, you must do it.

It's funny you say that you've just reminded me of something. It's the idea of changing your mindset. When you say, oh, I have to go to work today, you say, I get to go to work today, And it's those little changes in your day to say, well, I still am here, I am still healthy. Enough to get up and have the opportunity to go to work instead of I have

So reframing it. Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent.

The fact that you're able to do that is so huge, Like there's so many people out there that aren't able to when it's not until you can't that you realize how badly you wish you could.

When you have a terminal cancer diagnosis. How has that sort of reframed the way you look at life in terms of living in the now verse looking to the future.

Yeah, well, obviously, because I'm going through treatment at the moment, Like everything's kind of focused into getting myself through this slog of treatment, Like I'm not looking for what's going to be happening next year, and it is very much in twelve week blocks at the moment, which is fine because that's all I can really get my head around anyway.

There's so many worse things in the world. Right now, it's a hot coffee.

I remember, we had a girl that fell from the sky em Carey on the pot of car.

She's amazing.

But something that stuck with me is just she said when she was plumbing into a death and she thought this is it. Within seconds, everything flashed before her eyes, the things that she realized she hadn't done yet, or the things that she had been complaining about she didn't know why, And then the repercussions of that were every day. Now, every day she gets up for the sunrise, she feels

And I guess it is such a similar experience, but with just such different circumstances.

Like she was falling to her death.

I've listened to her podcast as well, when Wade her book and stuff, she's literally falling for a death so she could see the end, whereas I guess, yeah, I do have a terminal illness, and like there is technically an end point, but I haven't been given that endpoint, and I can't see it, Like it's not in two weeks time, it's not in two years time, like I don't know when it is. I know what's coming, but I don't know when it is, and I feel like

Do you think you would rather know the end point? Well, you know when you say it's so up in the air, like I don't know when it is, do you think you would rather know? Or because you just mentioned it's quite scary not knowing, So do you think what would be easier? Do you think for you?

So the unknown probably plays on my mind a lot more than anything else, which is just a given, like that is probably the case with anyone. But I think because I know how well my cancer responds to treatment, if they gave me an endpoint, it would probably be wrong.

So I'm like, I'm glad I don't have an end point.

Obviously I want to live a really, really long life, but if it was to be with in two years, i'd want to know that too.

So I guess it's just getting through each block and then reassessing.

So like in four or five weeks time, I'll recess and we'll see how far I've come, and if my cancers responded to this chemo, I could be no evidence of disease and live for eighty years. Like it's just a term of like keeping up the maintenance and stuff. But yeah, I know what you're saying, like rather knowing than not, But I don't. I don't want to be given a three month diagnosis or sorry, an end date and then not happen, if.

That makes sense, because that'd almost be worse.

Yeah, because then i'd be like i'd get to that point, I'd be like huh.

And I guess also having that hope to work towards. I mean, like hope is something that I think is such a powerful emotion, like it keeps us being positive, it keeps us moving forward, And I guess in terms of your situation, Like to take that away from someone feels incredibly cruel.

Yeah, Like, well, I'd Trustpotop with so much, and like they are so confident that whatever's going on with me, like we'll get through it.

Like even my markers.

I've just got my marcers back again from the my midway mark and they're still stable and which is incredible.

Oh congrat thank you, which doesn't happen with many people.

But yeah, so they're confident that in this five weeks time I whant to do get my reassessment, I'd be able to just move on to the next treatment plan, which is the reception. And then once you're a sect, there's nothing left until obviously the three monthly check up. So then I am still gets going three monthly, but I could have ten more three monthlies.

I could have fifty more three monthlies.

I don't know, Like it is very unknown, but I'd rather be unknown than be given a date that's not real.

Was there bow cancer that run in your family? Were there anything in your life that was a predetermining factor for why you were high risk for this? Or is it just something that was incredibly unfortunate?

So maya both my hearts.

We are actually adopted, so we don't have a family history, funnily enough, but my my tumor has been pulled apart by every single type of medical scientist and there's no genetic factors.

So literally just like unlucky.

But yeah, there's no no genetic factors at all, so we're.

Not sure why. It's one of those things I do the CT scans, Kelly, I'm diagnosedic radiographer. About what we always used to say is cancer doesn't discriminate. It doesn't care who you are, doesn't care how old you are, it doesn't care how much money you have, how privileged you are. I doesn't care about anything in life. It just comes at any time. But talking about privilege, this is, I mean, I saw this on your Instagram the other day.

Sick or a NEPO sick if you will.

Yeah, quote NEFO sick if you will. I love that you're laughing because you're a better person than me, because I would want to reach through the screen.

So the thing that got to me normally with it.

If anyone ever wrote anything to meybe DM because I don't want to have that out there for other people to see. And I just literally plete block, don't care, never read into it. But I've got a really thick skin, like I don't care much, my very confident person. But they wrote it on a photo of my daughter at my wedding.

I was like, screw you.

You want people to see this, I'll make sure they do. So I talked on it on my stories because the fact that anyone could think that I am in a privileged situation right now just absolutely grind into my gears.

I'm literally fighting for my life and.

Putting myself on social media to save other people's lives. Like I don't have a platform because I was on Love Island or Big Brother or any other TV series like that.

Like that's not why I have a platform.

I have a platform because I'm advocating for such an important thing. Like it's just beyond me that someone thought they needed to have that opinion heard, Like what.

Does privilege sick even mean?

Though?

What were they even trying to imply by this so they could.

Be a wag for one, which was fun. I'm like, Okay, so now I'm just a.

Person because my partner is a footballer, which it frustrates me even more because I literally have no following because of him, Like no one's following me because he's a footballer. People have following me because of the journey that I'm on, Like he's been a footballer for ten years and I've only just since being sick, got the platform that I do.

So because your mom has given up her life in order to take care of you, the expectation is that you would pay her for her caring role, as oppriosed to it being a caring role that the government would help support, which.

Anyone else would get, so like they would get the funding for that. But because my partner's wage, I don't. But then the people from the outside, all they see is that my partner's a footballer and we should be able to afford to get through all.

This, whereas like, realistically, we're probably getting a lot less than if he.

Was working and earning your average wage and I was getting paid by the government for what I'm going through.

It's just crazy.

What also means that he has to It's a lot of pressure on just your partner too to then be like I can't even if I wanted to now, I can't go on home and just be with my family. I can't be with my wife and my daughter because I have to literally be the only person that can support and unto my family totally. And it would be a lot of pressure on him as well.

It is a lot of pressure on like any footballer, like they've got so much going on. I know they do live a very good life and they have a very good job and they're paid.

Accordingly, but there's so many stresses on that poor man's life, and I'm just another stress added.

To it, really, which I imagine he does not care about absolutely, but.

Like, realistically, I'm just another financial stress because I am literally just solely reliant on him, and I no one ever wants to be reliant on someone, especially not someone that would I feel like the people that would do it for you are the people you don't want to have to do it for you totally.

How do you feel, I mean apart from financially, but how else do you feel that this cancer diagnosis has affected your relationship?

It has been hard, Like we don't talk about it at home at all, So anytime I'm feeling off, I just lock off and do my own thing, which we've kind of come around to now, Like originally Jeremy was like, why don't you want to talk to me? Like I'm supposed to be the first you talk to it, And I'm like, but then it's real, Like it's real if we talk about it, it's not real. If I talk about it with the doctors, or the whatever. Like as soon as it comes home with us, that's when it

That's that's just how it was.

Like if I'm on chemo, I can't even kiss him because then I'm transferring the chemo to him, and that's don't want to do that.

It's almost like you in a way of protecting him, Like I don't want to put you through it. I don't want to put on you. I don't unload it. I don't want it to be in our house.

Yeah, And like I saw a psychologist quite a bit last year.

Not at the moment, but every time I went there, they were like, you're not coming here to talk about me, Tell me to talk about Jeremy and that's not what we're here for. And I'm like, but that's all I care about, Like, all I care about is making sure they're okay.

I can't even imagine. I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I was, Yeah, I was talking to my sister about it, because she went and she was having some issues as well, and she's very public on her Instagram, and she went and had her bouse, like she had the colonoscoy and everything, and luckily everything came back fine. But we were just talking about it, the fact of how prevalent it is, and I showed her your profile and I was just beside myself at what you're going through.

But you just were were sitting here about to be in tears and you're like, it's not like, stop stop crying.

Don't you set me off?

You really do put things into perspective, I think, and I think a lot of people were listening to this and we'll feel the same way. Why am I complaining about something so frivolous, like so stupid, so minor.

And everyone does tell me that I'm like doing obviously all the things for the right reasons, which I'm so glad that people can see that's happening. But like, I genuinely feel like I have a purpose in life to make sure no one else goes through what I've gone through.

Like, like I said at the start, like a stage one diagnosis.

Or even a poop pollop can be removed in a colonost could be gone, no further following up, all done, stage one diagnosis nine and undercent chance of nothing coming back, living forever like no chemo, etc. Like the early detection is so important and I just don't want anyone else to have to go through what we've gone through.

How important is it to you for people to kind of understand the importance of advocating for your own health, for taking a responsibility for your own health, that if you feel like something is not right, if you've been dealing with symptoms or something, not putting that off, not waiting, not thinking, oh, it'll be fine, I'll get a check up done later in the future. How much is that part of your messaging now.

Yeah, it's probably the most pivotal part of everything. Really.

I was understand how scary it would be because I've obviously been there, but scary now that they've seen someone of a similar age or younger that has gone through it, knowing that what can come from the check up or come from the colonoscopy, Like I understand that it would be absolutely petrifying.

Like I get it. But the most important part is the early.

Detection, Like if you're feeling some way and feeling like this needs to happen, then there's a reason for that. If there's even if you don't have the blood in stall, obviously that's the most important symptom, and if you do have that, then go get checked up.

Is stupid. But even if there's other symptoms and there's a reason why you think you need to see a doctor.

There's probably something going on, and you can literally save your own life just going to see a doctor.

Like it's as simple as that. That's literally their job. And how important do you think it is.

I mean, I know that in the early days you were given the wrong diagnosis when you were told you know, it's ibs, so it's crones all these things. Was there a part of you that knew it wasn't and that wishes maybe you pushed harder or went to a different doctor for another opinion.

No, I was so naive, Like I was hard of the majority of the twenty year old girls that would be like, oh yeah, I'm intolerant to lactose and changed to oat.

Milk now, Like it's just things like that. I was so naive.

I had no idea that you can even get power cancer the young age. I didn't even know it was a thing. Like when they told me this is.

What bowercancer looked like, I was like, you're kidding, No, it's not like I'm twenty five. I do not have bower cancer. It just wasn't a thing.

Kelly. In terms of where you're at now, what is next for you? And what do you think lies ahead?

Yep, So at the moment, it's obviously getting through this treatment period, so I've got the three more rounds of it with the extra orgentitive treatment between as well, and then it's rescanning and reassessing. So originally it was going to be rescanning and seeing if the chemo had worked and then seeing if we need to do another six

Like it's kind of like twelve week blocks at the moment.

And what's the alternative treatment that you train if you don't mind me on skim So.

It's hyperbaric therapy, So it's oxygen therapy just starves the cancer of any sugars in.

The blood and it can't move forward, which means the chemo can work better.

And is this something that has any proof that it's ever working or are you sort of at a point where you like throw something at me and I'll do it. I'll try it.

Honestly, I'm I've put my tumor markers forward to every single trial in Adelaide and then this one here came from another girl actually on social media. But she went to Mexico and did treatment over there, and I know that there is a really good alternative cancer practice over there that's got really really good outcomes. But it's also like one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for a five weeks day, and like nobody's got that type of money,

I'm just trying everything.

The thing is, it's easy to say something's not that bad, right, like in the grand scheme of things, it's five thousand dollars, but people still need to find five thousand dollars this week for something, and then next week's treatment is another five thousand dollars. It's like, yeah, exactly, it's very easy to put in this little box and say it's not that much to save my life.

You still need to have it.

And I'm still paying for something that I didn't ask to have.

Like it's not like I'm going out and buying a five thousand dollar holiday, Like I'm going out and buying five thousand dollars of oxygen therapy.

Who wants that?

Yeah, when a culture on the Goop website, that's probably it.

Yeah, Kelly, I just want to say thank you so much for giving us your time and for being so generous. And we can't imagine what it is that you're going through at the moment, but we are so grateful for the message and for the fact that even in a period of your life that's been so challenging, that it's so important for you to advocate for being responsible for your health, for going and getting scanned, or if there's something that's been niggling and it's been a worry for you,

Yeah, you're doing a very selfless thing. If there's one last thing you want to tell anyone listening, anyone right now that thinks that there's something a bit unusual or something that's been bothered them, what would you say?

Honestly, just trust you that that's my go to slogan at the moment. It's just trusting your gut. If you think something's wrong, it likely is, and if it's not, then lucky you.

All Right, guys, you know that we never finish an episode without our suck and our suite, our highlight and our low light of each every week. Except this week, we are doing things a little bit differently, and that is that we don't have a suck this week. After listening to Kelly share her story and talk about gratitude, what we wanted to focus on this week are the things that we are very grateful for. Our highs and only the highs of the week you can get it off, My sweet is.

I spent the weekend with Mitch Jury. We went off to the Gold Coast and we just I've never I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my nigh life. I think it was forty eight hours of non stop laughter, to the point that, like in the win, one laughing fit and he let out the biggest far because he couldn't. He was laughing so hard he was pushing farts out. It was so funny. And you know when you're accidentally fat and you're mortified, but you're fuck louder.

Sweet, every time he laughed, he continued to fart. I love that, you guys, at that point in the relationship.

Now, it was so funny. Starting friends, I had a very laughing field weekend.

You also were working on a very special project on the weekend, which we will talk about because I know how much work and energy has been going into this.

Yeah, well that's our project.

But well it's too much, we'll talk it all right, Sweet for the week was obviously the weekend, obviously my birthday, but we did one thing which was like the true standout. We did this. It's called an eco to were but basically we went and took the kids mud crabbing, and we took them fishing, and then we had this amazing, beautiful seafood lunch.

All these experiences that weren't on the iPad.

We did lots of things where the children did not have the iPad, and it was it was amazing. It was really wholesome family time. That was great.

That is so cute. I have so much underboob sweat right now.

Is so hot here cute.

I so much sweat on in the boob.

And you know the drill.

Guys, tell your mum, tell you dad, Telly dog, tell your friends and share a love because we love them