Hello, lovely listeners, and welcome back to a very very special episode of Life Uncut.
Why is it so special, Well, the Bachelor's over, so we've probably got nothing to talk about now.
Brittany, Well, i'd like to say a big welcome back to you, Laura, because you came back from a little island get away. Well.
Yeah, I went on holidays, but I kind of need a holiday for my holiday. Going on holidays without your partner with a newborn baby, and with my sister with her one year old baby, it was just bedlam add salute, bedlamb meat.
The fuckers goes on holiday? Did you just say fuckers? No fockers? Oh? Sorry, I have seen that movie. It's fine. So how was it. What's Magnetic Island like? Is it a bit backwards?
Well, it's definitely trapped in a TimewARP. But I don't know if you can call place backwards, can you?
Yeah, you can call it what you want. It's not The people who are listening to are from Magnetic Island. Sorry, guys, when I say backwards, I mean just like, not forwards joking. I just mean no internet or electricity. It is a simple life, isn't it. People just go there to relax and fish and just chill out.
Yeah, it's definitely very very relaxed. They have the internet, and they have electricity and running water and flushing toilets.
Prettey, it is wild. It's a wildlife up there. Yeah.
It is definitely a very slow paced in comparison to Sydney.
Yeah right, well, welcome back to the rat race. What did you do? Oh? I just I just worked NonStop. I don't. I had a really uneventful week. That's to be honest. I have nothing to report to you, and I apologize. Oh well that was fun. Thanks for the update. Couldn't you just lie and make something up?
You're single? Go dating can come at me with some shitty dating story.
I haven't been on any dates. I haven't even had time to call you.
Just make them up at least so then I feel like something's going on here because I need to live my single life through you. Tell me about that date you went on Friday night.
Oh my god, it was insane. He was just like over.
Means away through dinner. Oh my goodness, Brittany, your life is wild.
I'll work on trying to get you a real story. How about that?
So today's episode of Life Uncut is very special because we're not talking about the Bachelor. So for the few people, there's not many of you, but there's been a few people who have said, please stop doing recaps. We will not stop doing recaps, however, we will stop today because the Bachelor's over. Can I say more people have been frothing on the recaps than not liking them. Why would you listen to us yap on about anything if it wasn't to do with the Bachelor, because the rest of
the podcast is unqualified. So in this episode instead, we have decided that we are going to do a very special Ask Uncut segment. Is it special though? Because really special said special? Full time, I'm special.
Okay, everything is said, Okay, okay, just tell us what the episode about.
Cool when you're a part of the team. So the episode is going to be us answering your questions because we hate receive. We received so many questions it's actually ridiculous and we haven't had a chance to go through them all. However, we've picked six doozies for you for today. We are going to answer them to the best of our abilities.
Which may not be great, but we'll give it a great great I love our advice. I would know our advice. Well, we do follow our advice. It's our advice.
It's all the things that I think that you should do, but not necessarily the things that I do do.
Do you know what I do hate that? I hate when people dish out advice but they don't follow their own. Are you criticizing me now, Brittany borderline? Well, but you know, it's like it is, and it happens a lot. It's so easy for somebody to say he's an asshole, leave him, But then it might be in your own relationship that you you know, your partner's anshole and you're gonna you know what I mean, Like a lot of people dish it and they can't take it one hundred percent.
I have stayed with assholes for a very long time, regardless of the advice that I would have given to my friends. However, I also do think that you need to kind of go on your own journey and figure that stuff out for yourself. It's all fine for someone to give you advice, but maybe the advice that we're giving might come to someone when they're at a very pivotal for in the road and it may just nudge them into the right direction.
Okay, so what did you learn this week? I always love when you've read something of interest or just what can you bring to the table Today.
I was on an island running around after seeing I really didn't read anything. You don't make me sound dumb. I've done nothing. I've spent my whole week being backwards. But okay, no, that's a light. I did actually see something which you're going to find very entertaining and yes,
truly appreciate. But anyone who listened to episode four where Brittany talked about vaginal steaming, not that I do it, just to be clear that I thought it was ridiculous, please please, So it's just come out on Yelp as one of the top beauty treatments of twenty nineteen.
Oh, shut the front door. It has not. It absolutely has.
So Gwyneth Paltrow has some influence in case you're wondering, you can get in there and steam your vagina, But don't do that because it is very much advised against from all gynocologists and pretty much anyone with half a brain.
God, it just goes to show you how much pulled that woman has because it's literally there is no evidence for it, and there's all the evidence against it, the fact that it actually kills the healthy bacteria in your vagina that is supposed to help keep you clean and healthy.
Steaming's just like annihilating it. I wonder if anyone who's listening to this has actually done it. My friend, please, can you just send me a message and let me know what your thoughts are? Like?
What was it like? Did you enjoy it? Do you feel like you have a fresh so my gamed clam. My girlfriend wrote to me after that and she's like, you're gonna love this. But I did this, and I knew if anyone was going to do it, it was her because she's really into health but and like trying different things, like she will be the person to try it, do you know what I mean? Yeah, So she tried it and I said how to go, and she's like, it
was bloody hilarious. I think she did it once. She's like, not for me, Bernie, my vagina, so very what have you got for me? What else?
Apart from nothing and work happening in your life? Have you read anything that's been interesting or well?
Yeah, I mean speaking of vaginas. I actually do have something I'm read interesting. So, you know, when you go on a night out, But how this is sun Earth?
Is this leading into a vagina story? And I'm really sorry we've said that word a lot in this episode.
Well, you know, you're on a night out, you order your Uber home, you might order Uber eats to meet you at your house. Surely I'm not the only person that does that.
No, I always do that. I try and tie my Uber eats with my car ride.
I do it all that. We meet perfectly at my doorway. It's almost like this game. And you know you get ten points if you nail it, or five stars. Yeah, or five stars. So people now can order their Uber they can order their Uber eat, and they can order their Uber prostitute. Well I thought prostitution was not legal.
Well, let's say I don't know a lot about prostitutions, so I may be incorrect.
You can order Uber sex. Wow. So it's basically it's just Tinder, that's what they're saying. That's literally Tinder. What are you talking about except you have to pay for it?
Well, at least it's probably easier than Tinder, Like you don't have to start with all like the chat but pretty much that's what Tinder is, right, Like, I mean, if you're gonna have hangs and bangs in a night with a guy who you don't know, what's the difference between just kind of being like, hey, come on over allie for fifty on the counter.
Well, I mean this is true, but I guess we've always sort of had it in a way. They used to do sex workers like, I mean, they still do it. They put ads online, and they used to have it in the paper sometimes. Yeah, it used to be in the back of the paper, in the section. I remember being a kid and reading through them and being like, so naughty. Well, now you can just go onto these apps.
There's a few apps. One of them is called toopi, for example, and that gives you access to local escorts, and then you can separate that to sections like female, gay, and she male. So there are other buttons that are like personal data, approximate location, pricing, and even a cool now button. So I feel like you're doing an ad for this, Britt, I'm not, but I just found it is the name of the app in there. I'm weird at it.
We can take the name of that about BRIT's very single. She just these are the things that she's reading about.
Can I highlight that I do not use these apps and I do not give me your phone. Give me your phone now it's broken up, left in the car, and then it's sunk in a boat. She's sitting on it. Guys, she's sitting on it. Anyway, I thought that was interesting that it just shows you where technology is going. Everything's so accessible. So now you can get your ear, but get your pizza and get your prostitute. Perfect. It sounds
like a great Friday night in. On a different note, on a positive, Facebook are following Instagram's move to remove likes and the you know you can get little like reactions on Facebook where they do all the faces and stuff. Yes, well they're removing that, like Instagram have removed likes, so you can still see it privately. Why are they removing
like reactions though as well? Like just well, they did a lot of research and they got a lot of responses from psychology and bullying and different institutions, and they just said that it's just too much comparison and it's affecting mental health too much on people, especially young people who have only grown up in this era of having that, they don't remember what it was like before, so their
whole life is dependent. Like somebody I know a few days ago put up a profile picture and said, oh my god, I'm so concerned no one's going to like it. Oh gosh, it's not that terrible that that's where the mindset is. And I always said to her, don't you can't. Don't worry about that, but what's the picture? And she's told me what it was, and I was like, it's great, it was a big moment of your life. Who cares?
And then it was like, oh, I'm half an hour in and as only this many people have liked it, and that was really to me. I'm like, oh my god, this really weighs heavily on so many people. I didn't realize.
But the issue, though I have with the whole likes thing is that even though the likes are removed publicly, the person who's posted the photo still knows if someone's liked it or hasn't liked it, So they're still going to get that feedback as to whether it's not been
a successful photo of it's been received positively. So I don't necessarily think that it goes far enough or that it hits the nail on the head with resolving the problem, because the problem goes much deeper than it just being the fact that other people can see what likes you've had.
For sure, it definitely goes deeper, but you have to admit that just knowing yourself, oh, only five people liked that photo is different to knowing the whole world knows only five people. So you've it maybe for a second like, oh, it didn't go well, but at least no one knows that true.
And it does mean that you don't have to be quite so concerned or sensiti about the type of content that you're putting out there, and you're able to sort of be more yeah, and be more yourself because there's less criticism. I was really skeptic, and I've changed my mind now on this, but I was really really skeptic when Instagram first and Facebook first changed and removed the
whole no likes thing. And from like a and this is going to sound anyone who's like er influences, this is going to sound like I'm being a deck head. But from an influencer perspective, my issue with it was not that it was going to make it.
Hard to make money. Whatever.
Don't really care because Instagram is a very secondary source of income for me. But my issue with it was that I thought and there has been a few reports that have come out on this as well, saying that Instagram had a very clever marketing tactic and used mental health as a way to remove likes, but not so much so because they were concerned about the effects on mental health. They they were concerned about the fact that influencers are making a billion dollar business off Instagram for free,
and their ad platform is not performing very well. So by removing influencers' ability to make money and to be able to prove their engagement, it would mean that their Instagram ads wouldn't be seen as doing so poorly, because in comparison to ads verse influencers, the ads looked terrible because no one wants to be sold something, so people
aren't putting money into Instagram ads. They're putting their money into influencers, and it was a way for Instagram to take focus away from the influencers and to rechannel that into their own paid ads. But they did it under the guise of mental health to try and get everyone on board, which at the time I thought was very clever and very sneaky, But now moving on a couple of months down the track, I actually don't care what the initial incentive was behind it.
I do think it's had a positive impact. But is that a big call to say that they definitely had no one's mental health in mind and it was just monetary because maybe they really maybe it was a bit of a column ade, bit.
Of col and Bee totally, and I do think it was that. However, I think if Instagram's main objective is to try and stamp out bullying, I really think that there are so many bigger things that they should be doing other than just removing likes, because I don't personally think that looking at Justin Bieber having two million more probably more than that, having eight million likes on a photo is affecting my mental health as much as looking
at the content in a photo. Looking at a girl who's photoshopped themselves in a bikini, that I think makes me feel far worse because I look at that photo and go, God, I don't look like that. So Instagram doesn't do anything to censor the content. They only sense a nudity.
But I don't think that's my issue. Yeah, with that point, I'm not sure that they're taking away the likes. It's not so that you look at Justin Bieber and feel shit that he got eight million and you got five. It's so that when you get five, you don't feel shit because everyone doesn't know you got five. Do you
know what I mean? It's not about you looking at him saying he got two million all of a sudden, it's saving your mental health because people aren't looking at you saying, oh, she only got five likes.
I agree, I do think that evens the playing field. I just think that if Instagram's a main motivation is to stamp out any sort of impact on mental health, then I think that there are more that they can do, and that there are probably some greaterst steps in that direction, which is to control content. And I also think that they need to have a two way authentication system. So now at the moment, if someone's bullying me and I block them, they can just go and get a new
email address and then start again. What they need to do is they need to link a mobile number to an email address, so that way I can't create multiple accounts. But they don't want to do that because they don't want to reduce the amount of users on their platform.
But then would that limit people? For example, you have Laura Burn, you have Tony May, and now you have Life on Cut podcasts. And I have Brittany and I have Life on Cut podcasts. So is that going to limit people from opening multiple accounts for good, proper business reasons.
Or what it kind of means is like, if someone's been blocked under one account, then surely that they could then look at that account and go, okay, well that account is linked to the same phone number, so this new account is also going to be blocked. Yeah, So what I'm saying is that it's very easy for someone to create a new email address, but they can't create
a new phone number very easily. So if I've created multiple accounts under the one email so under the one phone number, then what that would do is means that if someone blocks one account, then it blocks all the accounts.
Yeah, so it means you just have to use your drug phone for your bullying account.
I keep that one under the bed, guys. Anyway, that just took a real Instagram turn. We weren't planning on that, but there we go.
No, but that was a solid discussion. Thanks, You're welcome that I brought that to the table. Do you want to hit me with the first question? Yes? Yes, I do. All right, So question number or no? Mm hmm. That means one that anyone listening.
Because Brittany did an Italian course, remember if you heard the last episode, so she knows Italian?
Or no.
I'm in the middle of a breakup with my boyfriend of six years. I believe we are the perfect match, but needed some time apart to reassess relationship. We still hang out and see each other all the time, and sometimes we also sleep together. When I explain the situation to friends and family, they often give their unsolicited advice, such as we shouldn't be seeing each other, or even that we shouldn't be in contact. It's really hard to make up my own mind and stop others from influencing
my decisions about my relationships. Thoughts on the right way to break up.
It's so normal to go through a breakup when you're when you've been someone a long time and you just know that they're not the right person anymore. That doesn't mean that something horrible happened or that you still love the person, but you're not in love with them, if that makes sense. And I think it's really hard for a lot of people to have a clean break. And I do think it's normal to go on for a little bit where maybe you might see each other again,
sleep together, hook up. I think that's normal. But there comes a time where you have to it's not emotionally healthy. There comes the time you have to cut the line where.
You're kind of weeding yourself off each other, like you're actually because you know you're so dependent on seeing that person, there've been such an integral part of your day and your identity. Instead of having a severe break, you kind of are slowly weaning yourself away from that person. My issue with this is, Brittany.
It's always an issue. My issue is.
That it completely contradicts what she has just said. She said that they broke up because they wanted to have some time away from each other to reassess their relationship. Girlfriend, you are not having any time away from him. You
are just now friends with benefits. If you're still seeing each other every day and you're still talking to each other all the time, and you're still sleeping with each other, then unfortunately, you've just moved into this very messy area where one of you are going to get very hurt.
But also that means maybe you don't actually want to break up. I don't know.
I disagree. I think it doesn't mean that they're not ready to break up. I think that they are ready to break up. They're just not ready to be alone. That's the bigger thing, like be on their own, because being on your own after being with someone for five six years is massive, and so it's easier to just fall into patent routine than to go, Okay, I'm a little bit lonely today and I have to kind of figure out what the fuck I'm going to do with myself.
It's a comfort, isn't it. Totally all of a sudden, you go home to empty house and you're like, sir, gonna make spag on toast, spa on toes. I've done it before. Once again, Brittany has a wild Friday nights. Guys.
Look, I've done this myself in past relationships, and I have definitely broken up and known that that was the best decision and that I didn't want to be with that person anymore, but had still gone back and forth back and forth for a while, and a lot of it for me came from being lonely and not wanting to be alone. But I don't think that you should use your ex partner as a crutch to get over
your ex partner. It doesn't work, and you can't really wean yourself off each other because one of you are going to eventually meet someone else, or one of you is going to wean faster and it's going to leave the other person.
Are you laughing at my hand? Actions here? Laughing at your head and the word ween? That's very immature. Okay. I'm trying to give profound advice here, Brittany, and you're just laughing. I just think you have like a wien a hot dog. Oh my god, stop it.
Anyway, I think that your friends and your family are giving their unsolicited advice, and yes, it may not be what you want to hear. However, I do think that it probably is the best advice, and maybe you should if you really want to break up with your partner, give yourself a few solid weeks go. Okay, I'm going
to not speak to him. I'm not going to have him as a part of my life for four weeks or six weeks, just give yourself a block so that you have some breathing space and actually sit through the parts of that hurt. So when there are days when you miss him, when there are hours where you feel like,
oh gosh, the weight of this breakup actually is hurting me. Now, don't contact him because you need to know if that's real, so that then you can reassess whether you do want to be together or not, because right now you're living in each other's pockets and you don't you're not even broken up.
You're not feeling the breakup yet. And it's definitely at one hundred percent a possibility that you two are going to get back together and you could be together. That does happen all the time, totally, But the confusion right now is there. So sit in it, figure it out, work it out, but you have to be on your own.
One more thing I'm going to add to this is I love to just continue and drag points out for a really long time. Is breakups fucking hurt. They out hurt most of them, and you don't need to try and minimize that hurt by trying to go back to the same person. It ends up being a really selfish way of getting over a breakup, because you're going to end up causing more hurt to each other.
Not maybe now, but in the long run. Amen, thank you.
I love it when you say amen, like praise to your answer. We do this after every question. Amen's sister, Amen, what would you rather be say?
I can cur I do? I like that? Huh, I'll use that one question number two, Brittany, all right, I have a feeling you're going to be passionate about this one. Okay. Recently, my female neighbor asked me if i'd like to hang out. She's new to Brisbane and we're both in our late twenties, so I'm assuming she just wants to make friends. We hung out, she came over for dinner, and whilst she was lovely from my end, we just didn't click. Different
senses of humor, et cetera. I feel like it's socially acceptable to tell a potential romantic partner that you don't feel the spark, but how do you say it to a potential friend. It's more awkward because she's my neighbor, so she's always around. She asked me to hang out again recently and go to the movies, totally related to what you guys were saying about wanting fewer friends when
you don't have that much time. So how does she tell her neighbor that she doesn't want her to be in her good friend circle?
This is such a good question because this is something that we have all faced, probably multiple times, where we've met people and you know what, like they're great, but you're like, we don't vibe, like we're not friends who are going to vibe?
Well, not when you only have ten minutes spare a week.
Yes, and you don't want to bring in new people into your friendship circle because you know your friendship circle full. Lucky you if your friendship circle it's full.
This is hard because I don't advocate lying, but just say someone asked you to hang out that In this position, you could say, normally, oh, I would love you, but I have this on I'm not going to be around or whatever. But when she lives next door and she's looking at you with binoculars through the window, you can't say I'm not going to be home because she knows you are. So this is difficult.
It definitely is a bit difficult, and it definitely creates a very awkward situation. There's potential for it to be awkward, but at the same time, it is funny how it's so socially acceptable if we have a lukewarm feelings towards our romantic partners to be able to say, hey, look, it was really nice to go on a first date with you, but it's not going to go anywhere. But we don't really have that reaction when we meet lukewarm friends.
We're like, hey, like, yeah, cool, you're a nice person, but we're not going to vibe, so like, let's just call it a day.
We don't do that, do we. No, we don't why hurting people's feelings?
Yeah, like we don't want to be confrontational. I actually think in this situation, if if she's very sure that she doesn't want to open up her friendship circle to her neighbor because she's time poor and she doesn't feel like they really vibe or they get much out of each other. You've only been on one date friendship date with this person, right, you've been on one friendship date.
You don't owe her an explanation. You don't always have to sit down and have a conversation with someone and talk out your feelings about why you feel a certain way. You don't really owe her anything, to be honest, and maybe that's a bit brutal, but you don't know.
But I don't think it's about oweing her an explanation. She's more just saying how do I navigate this? Because she's messaged her and ask her to hang out again, so she just doesn't know how to deal with it. So I think that maybe you could just say, be honest, say look, I'm so flat out for time over the next few weeks, but maybe we could grab a coffee in a couple of weeks when things a he's up a bit.
Yeah, but then you're still leaving that open for the potential of a coffee in a few weeks time. Then what if that person doesn't get the point, is that then a problem?
Well then maybe in a few weeks time, when she asks for the coffee, you could say I'm not drinking coffee this month. No, But I think people you get the gist.
Yeah, I do agree, But also maybe your neighbor's in a situation where she needs to make more friends, and it doesn't mean that you have to then be the one that fills that hole.
For her.
So I think, just as brit said, like you're able to just say, look, I'm really really busy at the moment, I don't really have time for it. It was awesome hanging out the other night, but you know, you do you, I'll do me. We can wave from across the fence and she will get the point. But it's not your job to have to fill that hole for her, especially if you're not feeling it either, because time is precious and you don't want to spend it where you're not
feeling fulfilled. You know what's that book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, where it always talks about how you have to just remove the things from your life that don't give you purpose and don't add to your life. And you know, unfortunately there are acquaintances and friends who they're for. Those friendships are one sided, and eventually you do have to just make room for yourself. Yeah, and take care of yourself.
And that's okay, And this woman knows that, but her problems more obviously, she just doesn't know how to hurt someone's feelings. She doesn't know how to have the hard conversation. That's all.
That's what I'm saying you don't owe someone the conversation. You literally can just say I'm too busy, yeah, and that's fine, And.
That's what I think you do. I think you just say, hey, life's so hectic at the moment, I don't know if I'll be able to have time totally over the next little while, and you could say a little while as well, instead of like putting her number on it. I don't know if I have time over the next little while. I don't think I have time over the next twenty five years. Sorry, I'm really busy. It might be a little bit awkward when you see her in the future,
but also does it really matter? Does it matter if that encounter is awkward from time to time. You don't have to have an easy, breezy situation relationship with everyone. It doesn't matter if you look over the fence and you're like, hey, hore you going having a tea party here with my friend? Call bye, Like.
I think you'll be able to get through your day if that's the level of awkwardness that you have to face in your life. And sometimes that's just just the repercussions of the choices that we make.
Has that ever happened to you. Actually, have you ever said to someone, oh, I can't come tonight because I'm stuck at home doing homework, And then you've you've walked out the door with your other friend and you run into someone like or a boyfriend, was like an awkward situation like that ever happened? Like not as an adult, because I'm really do believe in just being direct about stuff, because as soon as you start lying, you just create
complicated webs of complication in your life. So I try not to kind of fabricate things that I'm not doing. I'd just rather say, hey, guys, I'm being an arsehole and I'm staying on the couch tonight. I remember I was seeing this guy for a little while, but we were not together, like by any means, and that was definitely on his end, so we were sort of seeing other people. I guess what he was. So I decided to as well. And one night he.
So making me feel sorry for you with this story. Well you know, he didn't want me, So then I did this, and Oh, I loved.
This guy so hard to I would have married him. If you ever hear me talking about this one person that he was it for me, but I wasn't it for him. This is the one guy. This is this story actually in Bondy and I was finally like, you know what, fuck it, I'm just not gonna sit on the end of your fishing line anymore. So he asked me one night, I say, hey, let's hey, let's catch up. You know, I miss you whatever, like whatever waker anyway, so I said, I actually, she's not bitter about it either.
I actually can't tonight. You know, I've already said to my girlfriends that I'll meet up with them. But really I was like branching out and going on another date. Anyway, I'm walking down.
The street with this new guy and he's sitting at a cafe looking straight at me, and he walks out and he's like, hey, Britt, and I was like oh. I was like, oh, hi, this is my friend visiting.
That was like the most awkward minment. Anyway. He messaged me later being like, I know you were on a date and I was like, yeah, it was and it was so hot. Oh and that's my story, but it was a pretty hard moment. You guys continued dating after that, well, yeah, I use the term dating loosely, but that went on and on for like two years. That's why Britt gives relationship dating advice. I remember when I told you I spontaneously like the most romantic thing I've done was flown
to New York for that guy. Should I ever tell you that? Yes? Anyway, this is the same guy he do. You want to share that story with everyone who's listening.
Just basically this guy after two years of this got ongoing saga.
I said, you know what, leave me the hell alone, stop stringing me along. I'm going on my round the world trip. So off I went for three years and we didn't speak for a year, and then he finally slid back into my life, which I knew he would do. So he slides in, Hey, I mister, just been thinking about you. So I'm like, okay, a year's gone, past time over it. We started writing back to each other. He started sending me letters. It was so cute, and he was like, I, how can I ever make it
up to you? All I've thought about for last year is you. You are everything I want. Kids, the White Piga fans, whatever. I made a terrible mistake. He even called me a unicorn, which is like the nicest thing anyone that was saying in a weird you are a unicorn. You're my unicorn. My laugh is a unicorn. That's about it.
Oh stop it. That was awful. So no, So anyway, we reignited this over another six month period, facetiming, calling, messaging, lettering every day, planning our life like we were back together. So then he's like, we need to see each other. So I flew to New York and I was like, let's do this. And then once we'm were face to face. We hung out for five days and he's like, I just don't think it's it again.
And I was like, that is so so hectic. But then I left New York. In the taxi, I was like I'm going. And I wasn't crying or anything, as you know, I'm semi emotionally void. I was like, okay, cool, I'm stoic, I'm not emotionally void.
Yeah. I cried a lot after, but I was like, fine, I'm going. He balled. It was like a movie. He was running down the street next to the taxi crying and I stopped the taxi and I said, why are you crying? I was like stop it, you want this? This is fine? You'll be okay, and he's just like I just I don't know why.
He sounds like an absolute head case. And that was two years of your life that you should not have invested in someone who was so emotionally.
Not there yo yo, not available.
Yeah yeah, but then you know what, Brett, that experience has just added to the wealth of good knowledge that you have to impart on other people.
Anyway, we were not I don't even know how he got into that story. I was not even going to tell that. But give me another question. No, I did the last question. It's your turn. Okay, my bad.
Oh no, you did the last question. It's yeah, oh crap, Okay, okay. Hard to get fined a question, hard to get good help, guys. Sorry, I work for free for her, That's why I'm here.
Okay.
This one is very full on, and I really want to give this person some strong advice. Okay, and I would like your strong advice. So do you want me to give you my full attention?
Yes?
I want you to stop playing on your phone, Brittan and give me your full attention. Okay, this one comes in. I'm currently married with a lovely husband and my life is great. We got married young five years ago and we've been together for ten years in total. We have a great life together and we're about to start building a house. But I've never really gotten over my ex from ten years ago. Things didn't end well and so I moved on quickly, but he's always been in the
back of my mind. Last week I found out he moved into state, and even though we hadn't spoken in about five years, I messaged him. We talked a little, and then when I mentioned that I would be in his area for work next week, he asked for a drink. It was respectful and not ill intended. I told my husband to be transparent. Long story. I was hoping for closure, but all that has done is brought everything up again. We realize we both still love each other and feel
that we should have ended up together. Nothing happened, but I feel so torn and broken and I don't know what to do. I feel like I have the chance to be with a person I have always loved and a whole new level of happiness, but it could come at a cost of being selfish and hurting so many others, namely my husband, who doesn't deserve this. I honestly have no idea how to move forward, so any advice you could offer would be appreciated. Such a tragic love story.
Have you listened to our episode The Grass is Always Greener? If you haven't, go and do that stat and then reassessed the situation.
Yes, So how do you feel about this, brit Ah? I really this says a pickled dickle if I've ever heard of one, Oh, pickled, that's a new one, my pickled dickle. This is a super big pickled dickle.
I think that you have been with him ten years and you said yourself, great guy. It is normal, so normal to go through these parts of a relationship where you not necessarily look outside, but you wonder if something could be better, because after ten years things get a bit monotonous. But that is life. And if you leave and go to this new person in ten years time, the same thing will probably happen. I think you're really grasping at what if, what could it be? Would it
be with the sex be better? Would he love me more? Would we adventure more? Would we have a different life. I think it'd be a big mistake to go and pursue that now, after ten years and after one little meetup.
So I think that right now, this is a huge temptation, and in every marriage there will always be temptation, and part of the commitment that you've made in your marriage, bows is that you will try and resist this, and that you will resist this hashtag forever, hashtag forever through sickness and health and through ex boyfriends.
And through social media totally. Look.
I think the issue with the situation is that you don't know your ex from the past ten years. You haven't spent any time with him. You don't know his life, you don't know what he's experienced, you don't know the person that he is now ten years down the track. And people they change and they don't change all in the same time. The thing that you're obsessing over is a fantasy. You are obsessing over a fantastical relationship that
does not exist. The relationship that does exist, though, is the relationship that you have with your husband, which is real and which you also know you've said yourself, is great. It's reliable, it's constant, and you're with someone who treats you the way that you deserve to be treated. I don't know the reasons why you broke up with your ex in the past, but there was a reason why you broke up.
I guess the question is, is there really something going on in your current relationship that is making you look elsewhere. I don't think you should be paying your ex right now any attention, because it's unfair on your husband, and it's unfair on the other guy, and it's unfair on you you emotionally. You need to put all your energy and focus into your current relationship.
I honestly also think that we almost everyone has baggage from the past. Almost everyone has an ex that they didn't quite get over. Like, this isn't a unique situation first love. Yeah, just like there's everyone has that. I like to call it like the ping, Like that's this feeling that you get.
Of course you do.
It's like a ping whenever you think about that person or you reminisce on the relationship. You know, you get this like a little stab to your heart and you're like, God, that person really got in there. You know, you're not necessarily still in love with them whilst you're in love with your new partner, but you do have this like this thing feeling.
This ping. God damn it.
That will always happen throughout your life because you have these memories. Now, if you've managed to spend ten years of your relationship just having that ping, that's okay. But that ping has only developed into something potentially more in your mind because you pursued it, and you're creating that now by going and contacting him and nurturing it. So
I think that you can put it to bed. It can still just be a ping, which is what most people have for someone in their past, but by digging it up and trying to create something there like this is going to this is going to completely unravel your current relationship, which is stable and with someone who you love, just for something that's completely unstable and unreliable, and you may end up with nothing by trying to chase after something that doesn't exist yet.
You can't also continue to message him or catch up with him, and you might lie to yourself and say we're just old friends catching up, but now you know that's not true. You know there's more, and if this continues, it will very quickly turn into what I like to call, and probably everyone likes to call, emotional cheating. So you need to steer clear of that for respect sake of your husband.
It also emotionally cheating can be worse I think than physical cheating in some sort situations, because you know, you can get over a one night stand that men own when I say it meant nothing. Of course, cheating never means nothing, I know. But you can get over something that's physical. I think it's very difficult to get over something that's completely emotional because it just is a fundamental shift in your feelings towards someone.
Oh yeah, we all know how serious it is when you're emotionally invested in someone. You know that if someone else is emotionally invested, that their whole They've given their whole soul and heart to somebody, and that is worse than I know, this sounds bad. It's worse than it's giving your body to someone for a night. Like you said, I don't want to understand when it's emotionally, you're like, oh, it cuts so much.
There's an investment in that. The last thing I really want to say on this is you are not your feelings. So you yeah, I know, I'm propound you are not your feelings. Feelings are dynamic and they can change day to day. The feelings and the intensity that you have for your ex partner now, weren't there two months ago. You may have had nice, fond memories of him, and he may have been in the back of your mind,
but that intensity was not there. So the fact that that's changed over night, basically after a meeting, that just shows that this is this is a lust, this is a fantasy. You don't need to be driven by the feelings that you're having right now. But what you are is you are the history that you've built with your husband. You are the memories and the life that the two of you are creating with each other, and you're the
commitment that you've made to each other. So if you spend as much time and energy focusing on your marriage as you are on this fantasy, I can guarantee you you'll probably get back to being at a point where you're very, very happy with your husband. And I think that's what you should focus on. Because, girlfriend, this sounds fucking messy and I'm.
Really worried about you. You know what I want to add? Do you want to swear at her? Amen? Amen's sister.
Okay, that's a really good question, and I really really hope that you make it out the other side of this without throwing away everything that's important to you.
Me too, I really do. Now it is your turn, Okay. I really like this one because I feel like it speaks to me gone through a hectic breakup and I've had to move back in with my parents. Although tedious, it's allowing me to save money. I'm thinking of traveling by myself over the UNI break, but I haven't traveled alone before. What do you think about traveling alone as a woman in your twenties? Is it lonely? Would I still have as much fun? Any tips? Please? Yes, Queen, go traveling.
Some of my best memories in life are traveling by myself in my twenties after a bad breakup, where I was like, fuck you man, I'm going to go live my best life. And guess what, God damn, I went and lived my best life. So travel and travel and travel. Just don't be an idiot and travel to dangerous places on your own. Just be smart and be safe.
Travel. Yeah, and if anyone knows me, you'll know that I've spent the last decade traveling and most of that, well, a lot of that's been on my own. When I was eighteen, I moved to Italy by myself because I was like, I need to just go and be independent.
This is when you learn to speak Italian with all the sixty year old men. No I talked about came last episode.
Yeah, that came after So to answer this girl's question, can it be lonely? Is it scary? Yeah? For sure? I cried on the plane the whole way over. What was I doing the first two weeks? I cried every day because I was alone in a foreign country and it was scary. But then I knew if I gave myself enough time, it would settle. So after a few weeks, I finally started to embrace the situation. Okay, cool, I'm in another country by myself. Well let's go explore, let's
go meet people. And it became the best year of my life. That then, in turn, has allowed me to travel a loads of places by myself because I know what you can get from it. I've also done a lot with my sister. If you go to a hostel by yourself, you will be alone for probably one hour.
That's it until you meet a horde of people that are also there, traveling alone because that's what happens, and drinking because that's what you do in hostility, you make you will make you will make friends for life in hostels, and then you start traveling with that person, so all of a sudden you're not traveling alone. Someone's like, hey, you want to come to Costa Rica, and you're like, yeah, actually I do, let's go. I one hundred percent agree
with you, Brittany. Hostels are great, and I do think and I love this quote that travel is the best education. You learn so much more from going and seeing the world about yourself, about the world, about other people that you will ever learn from sitting at home on Bondi beach reading a travel book.
I love this and I love this question, and I really hope that you just take life by the balls and go overseas and go and explore the world, because I have honestly felt the most me when I have been on my own traveling overseas. And I know that sounds crazy, because but the idea is like, you leave all the shit behind, you leave your identity behind. You can be whoever whatever you want to be. People don't know you, there's no like hang ups, just everything has
gone and everything is fresh. You know, this clean slate to just explore and really absorb, and I think you will come back a happier better. You're gonna come back so well, there going to be that girl who traveled. Oh my god, spy, it's true.
People. You really this quote people going and finding themselves. It is a thing I know.
I mean it also makes you a travel wanker. Don't come back and be like, oh my god, I spent like three weeks in India and I'm so enlightened. Now, don't be that person.
To be fair, I've been to fifty countries. When I say I found myself, not three weeks in India.
I do believe I went to India and stayed with all these people in Risha Kash and I found myself.
Oh my god, you are just so many people are gonna hate you right now.
Yeah maybe I know, maybe they did fins I actually did this, But I know that I am a travel wanker.
So don't worry. I love it. Are actually going to go find themselves in three weeks. And I take my hat off to you. If you find yourself in three weeks took me a lot longer. Absolutely, to anyone that's even remotely thinking about going traveling by yourself. One hundred percent. Yeah, we're both huge advocates of it. Just don't like Laura said, you just have to be safe. You just don't go and do drugs and get drunk in a dangerous part of the city on your own. But you wouldn't do
that in your own city in Australia, would you. It's the same thing.
I do think you have to have sensibility if it's if it's something that you wouldn't do in this country, don't go and do it in that Country's So that's the one thing about travel that sometimes pisses me off is like we think that because we're in a country where the laws are a little bit lax, we can just whoo guess what. You can still die, So don't be stupid.
And you know what a really good thing is, a really good tip for single travelers is always have somebody, even if they're back in Australia, knows where you are. So my dad it's like a CIA agent. My dad knew where I was before I knew where I was, and I don't know how, but he was on it. So if anything had ever happened to me overseas, he knew he would know what the coffee shop.
Was that I was at the in the morning. God's like the movie Taken. That's that's your dad, my dad. Well, see, he wanted to sing again on Bachelor Hometown. He was put on as like the dad from Hell, like this big protective bikey, which he's not the dad from Hell, but he's a big protective bikey.
Well, Brittany, thank you for that family history. Thank you for that. Anyway, go travel.
I have one more question which I want to throw in the mix, and then I reckon we can call it a day. Okay, Okay, So this question is really really long, so I'm just gonna kind of like summarize it in my own words. So for the person who wrote it in, I'm sorry that I'm putting words in your mouth.
Literally. Okay, let's proceed. So basically, I think she's in New Zealand.
He's in Perth. We're gonna call him Perth Boy. Very original, Laura, thank you, I'm very good at names. So Perth Boy came to New Zealand, they met, they went on a road trip, many romance, many romantic relationships were made. Well who knows, but maybe some sexies. Anyway, So then Perth Boy goes back home. They've seen each other once or twice since, Like she's flown over to Perth Boy, Perth Boy's flowing over to New Zealand. Perth Boy has now
said a long distance relationship is too hard. He doesn't want to do a long distance relationship. New Zealand Girl, also original, is heartbroken. New Zealand Girl wants to do a long distance relationship. She's down for a long distance relationship. She's also worried now if she tries to invest herself into someone else in Your Zealand, that they're not going to match up to Perk Boy. So she doesn't really know how to proceed, how to get over it. She's in a real pickle diickle.
I don't think she is in a pickleedickle, because why do you have to do along distance relationship? Is there something that is adamantly keeping both of you in your respective countries, Because if this guy is that bloody brilliant, you'd move to him, or he'd move to you, or you'd move to a new city together.
Well, I mean maybe they do have situations that mean they can't move right now. Like that's being very black and white, Brittany, and it is not you. You're a gray girl. It is very black and white.
I don't know. I love love, and I think for the right person, you would move. I know, for the right person, I would move anywhere for them. Well, I think the issue with this is not so much the moving. It's the fact that Babe, he doesn't want to do a long distance relationship. He's not as into you as you are into him. And I know that that is a shitty bullet to swallow. I think any bullet would be pretty shitty to swallow. I think it's a pill.
I said that saying wrong anyway, that's okay, it can be in you say yeah, I know it's a shitty bullet to swallow. So I think the take home from this is maybe you are more invested in this relationship than he is, which is painful in itself. But what you are also infatuated with and excited about, just like we were talking about in the last question, is the
fantasy of the relationship. Because as much as you've spent a little bit of time together and all the texting and everything else, you haven't really cemented yourself in each other's lives. You don't know what it would be like to have a proper, like committed, day to day relationship with each other where you have to fight about stupid shit like who's going to clean each other's washing and do household stuff. That's all we fight about.
Now, So you're mourning a relationship that could have been, not a relationship that has been. So now what you're doing is you're robbing yourself from a potential real relationship. And that's really crap because you might meet someone who is amazing, but you know what, you just have to spend some time in actually getting over this guy first.
Okay, so not being black and white, just say you do have something keeping you from moving together and being together, then exactly what you said is correct. You need to just let go of that. If it's not going to happen, if you can't, if one of you can't is stuck because of kids or whatever, just say yes, the other person can't move to them to continue the relationship, then they're not they're not the right person.
Yes, I think that if it's the wrong time, wrong situation, then unfortunately that makes them the wrong person.
Yeah. I'm a big believer in if it's meant to be or be, and if you want anything bad enough, you can go and make it happen. I agree, Brittany, I really really agree. Yes, I do feel sorry. I do feel really sorry for this girl because the idea of being that in love and infatuated with someone and not being an option sucks.
But but do you know what this is the Other thing with this is is that you're you're going through a breakup. This is actually a breakup. It's just you haven't dated the person you know, and that sometimes these breakups are just as hard because they're emotional. Yeah, and that's almost like you're not allowed to be as upset as what you are. But you know what, you can be as upset as you want. This is a real breakup.
You're mourning the loss of what could be, and you're mourning the person that you know you're in love with. And so you're not expect to throw yourself into another relationship straight away. Allow yourself to get over this one, get over this guy, and in time, I promise you you will, because time heals everything.
I said. That's saying right, So time heal everything. They certainly don't. That is what you would say.
Time heals everything, and in time, your feelings towards this guy will fade, and somebody who is great and someone who's meant for you and someone who is happy to step up to the plate and be committed to you and isn't in another freaking country will come into the picture. So I think, feel through this breakup and allow yourself time to be sad about it, and that's okay as well.
Amen, thank you. I think that's a rap. Oh my god, is that a rat? I think it's a salad rap? Britain? Did you see a salad rap or a solid rap salad doubt? I made dad jokes like this now tomorrow when I'm not anywhere near being a dad. Guys, this is a wrap on our first season of Life Uncut Yees. Season one is done. We hope you enjoyed it. We know you have, because you've been so responsive and written in so many great reviews, and you've slid into our dms so much and you've kept us, you know, in
the top of the chart. So we are so thankful for you.
I know, this is absolutely wild. We didn't really have any great expectations on what this podcast could be when we started it, but I love this little community that we're creating and we're really going to put more energy and more effort into really honing that Instagram page instead of creating a little hub where you guys can talk about your relationship issues, talk about whatever issues are happening. And that's going to be our focus for next season
as well. So get on board at Life Uncut Podcast. So now we are going to be taking a couple of weeks off, I know, devastating, but not for us because we are going on holiday.
Holly, Yayritt. Where are you going. I'm going to Perth first for a few days. It's my girlfriend renees Hen's party. Going to be wild. I love Perth. I've never been. Oh it's beautiful. Go to Rotnest Island. It's great. Well I think I'm just going to the bars.
But okay, I haven't seen all the bars in Perth, but I'm sure they're great.
I was there for UNI Games.
I have a really funny story for you can now you can tell it, Okay, I'm going to tell it so at Unigames.
This is going back quite a few years ago. I'm very old now.
I was in Perth and this guy who I was seeing I was playing water polo, and he was from the water polo team. I was from the girl's water polo team. Anyway, he's snuck into my I love.
The things you specify. I'm glad you told us you were on the girls team. Well you never know, Brittany. We live in a very fluid day and age.
So he snuck into my hotel room where I was staying, and he stole all the underwear out of my suitcase. Anyway, this afternoon, they called a meeting. I didn't know he'd stolen my underwear. Obviously, they called a meeting.
Red flag. Yeah, well, look it didn't work out with him. Weird.
They called a meeting and all the guys came out and they were all wearing underwear, like they came out from the bedroom in this meeting, and they were all wearing undies and everyone's pissing themselves. I was pissing myself, and then I was like, wait a fucking second.
That's my underwear.
All the dudes in the water polo team were wearing my knickers. So anyway, I was mortified.
It was gross.
I threw all my nickers out and had to go buy new knickers. And this guy thought he was so funny. So anyway, that night we went out on the town and it was we had this this rule where it was like anything that you got dad to do, you had to do. So I dared him and another guy who was also implicated in my Nickers stealing episode saga. I dared them to get nude and run around the fountain in the middle of Perth. And they were like, oh yeah, we're fucking anyway, they got nude, please ta
they got arrested. No, wait, they got nude. They ran around the fountain in Perth. And whilst they were running around the fountain, I got all their clothes, got in a taxi and went to the bar. Yes he did, and we were a thirty five minute walk back to our hostel.
So the poor bastards couldn't get picked up in a.
Taxi and I had to walk nude all the way through Perth back to the hotel we was staying out. You're like, borderline, you were a bit extreme when you're revenge.
He broke up with me after all? Did he?
Oh my god, that is so weird, Laura, Why would he do that.
I think that he should have taken a joke.
I still think that that was one of the best things I've ever pulled on a guy. I mean, it's funny, but it's extreme for sure, Like you took it to a ten real quick. Yeah, anyway, I like to really step one up and not just don't cross me, guys, because you know what's coming.
You're gonna be nude in the middle of the city. Anyway, that took a real turn. We were wrapping up and then I had a story to throw up. So Laura, you know, we never end an episode without our suck and sweet, so I want to hear yours.
I actually have suck and sweets this week, Like I thought about this great. Okay, so my suck, my suck sucked so bad. Guys, have you listened to the last episode on Friends, because if you haven't, please go and listen to it because that is my sweat, blood, and actual years in that episode. I had spent five hours editing that ep because we were all over the shop
when we were recording it. We were I spent five hours editing it, and then as I was exporting it, my computer decided to have a crap fit and it like the file corrupted, and then what it did was it saved a blank file over my edited file, and I felt like I was at UNI again when something would crash and you would lose your assessment just before you needed to hand it in, and it freaking sucked.
That was my suck.
So then I had to stay up all Tuesday night with a boob with a boob with a baby on my boob, trying to re edit that episode to get it out for you on Wednesday. And this is the shit that we do to bring you your podcast every single week.
Laura honestly has been putting in so much body sweat and tears into this editing.
So I shout out thank you. It's much time that you appreciate me around here.
For I messaged you on the idea all the time.
I know, but it's I want public appreciation of my efforts. I think I did as well. I think you put it on Instagram too, so I actually.
Have you back there. So, guys, that was my suck. It was so shitty.
I hate it when you've put so much effort into something and then just it's like, I'm what, computer, don't fail me.
That is what happened. I'm super sorry that I happened. That was my suck. It's a bloody good one. Thank you, did you have? Thank you very much.
Yes, my suite, I have a lot of sweets from this week, so I have a couple that I'm going to throw in there, but mostly they there like revolve around the fact that I just spent five days on Maggie Island with my dad and my sister, even though it wasn't relaxing because of the babies. Maley has also started laughing, so I said, oh my god, it is the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Like my ovaries exploded into the car seats in front
of me when she started doing it. So she's laughing at everything now. And I know I'm really funny, guys, but fuck, she thinks I'm so funny. God, And I just want to spend my time with her all day because it makes me feel so great about myself.
I love my child. She's the best. You have to spend all day with her anyway. So that's true. That's true. It's a good thing that I want to now, it's a good thing. Someone thinks you're funny.
Well, oh yeah, the guns all right, Brunan, give me your suck, my suck is probably your suck because my heart broke when you called me and said that you'd lost the file.
You get your own sucked. Don't steal my I can't because I felt so shit, like the shittest human because you're supposed to be on this holiday and this happened to you and you had to and I couldn't do anything about it. So fine, sleep on you're dead, guys, Yeah, swt D.
Sleep when they're s sleep.
When they're dead. Swyd. No, I'm leaving that in. Stop trying to read. I'm just doing the re editor swyd guys, s wyd.
That's all staying in there now. Okay, Brittany, what is your sweet? I don't really have a great sweet this week. I just worked a lot.
But my sweet's probably turning up early this morning and looking at you, dressed exactly the same as I am. We've turned up in a uniform. I'm just wearing Team Life uncut uniform.
You.
We're spending too much time together. We're just morphing into the same person. That is frightening. Well, I mean you're a better version, but oh my goodness, shut up. Okay, start, no, don't stop, no, you hang up. No, you hang up. Okay, I'll hang up. Okay, don't hang out, don't hang out, don't hang up.
I like that.
Guys. That's a wrap for season one. Laura, congratulations, and thank you for coming on this journey with me. Oh it's been bloody. Swell doesn't know what it really has.
Look, I don't know if we really knew what we were doing at the start, but now we do, and we also know how to use the recording equipment.
Now, god what today? No, we have had such a great time. We didn't know what to expect when we went on this journey. We just knew we wanted to come and do it and have some fun and the response has been amazing. So we just want to thank all of you for sharing the love because we love love, and for writing in reviews and just following the journey with us, and thanks so much for sending in your questions every week. Guys. It's awesome.
Like, we love that you try with our advice. We love that you want to be part of this Life on Clock.
Community that we're building.
And yeah, we are stoked for next season, which we're going on holidays. Oh yeah, brit you didn't end up finishing telling me where are you going on your holiday?
Yeah? Okay, so after the hens in Perth, I'm going to Mexico for a few weeks. I'm going to eat all the tacos, drink all the margaritas, and do all the swimming and all the nothing that sounds like heaven. I know, where are you going? You're going to We.
Are going on our first international holiday with a newborn baby, haha to.
Everyone on our good bloody life, I know.
So we're going to the UK for five days, then we're going to Paris and then we're.
Going to Pullia or Puglia or you still never work that out.
You probably are just maybe google that Pullia. We're going to Italy. I'm just really interested to see what a holiday with a newborn baby's going to be like, because my old holidays used to be lots of drinking, and now there's not much no, so I think it's gonna be a lot of sitting in the shade and making faces at Marley, which we could probably do anywhere, but that's gonna be.
My holiday, but we're gonna do it in Italy.
Yeah, I'm gonna do it. Actually, No, I am very much looking forward to Paris, which is where we're meeting Matt's mum, because I'm going to be like, hey, Nana, take my baby. I'll see you in a few days. Please learn how to breastfeed, then you can go do all the drinking.
No we can't.
I'm still breastfeeding. I can't drink literally, and I have one glass of wine now, so all your mummy shame is out there.
Who're gonna be like, oh my god, you shouldn't have glass of wine because you're breastfeeding. Shut up. Let the woman drink. I have one lass wine and I feel drunk. So imagine how Marley feels.
Guys, Oh my god, don't say that. She's joking everyone and just got a six sense of humor. Alright, guys, thank you so much for tuning into another episode. We love doing this for you and please please join us on our Instagram page at Life Uncut Podcast. Leave us a review, hit subscribe, and share the love because we we love love.
See you soon. Foresees in tr