Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Lack Uncut.
I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and Happy pump Day. It's Wednesday. Oh my god, I've just applot. I didn't sleep last Night's Tuesday, isn't it.
We record this on a Friday, and every single week this episode drops in a Tuesday.
And Brittany's an idiot if you just say something with confidence. I just convinced myself it was Wednesday.
You didn't convince me, So I don't think that that theory necessarily.
Fla talk about life uncut. Happy Tuesday, guys, we are so happy to be here in the studio. We could just record another intro where you don't I quite liked it day. Hey guys, Happy Tuesday? And yeah, how was your week? Being Brittany? I just hit some life goals this week. I often talk about how I love my magnums.
Then anyone listened to our very first episode of this year, which was twenty twenty Big twenty twenty Energy, where Britain made the twenty twenty resolution that she was going to cut out some sugar.
But I'm just going to tell you you didn't do that. Guess what happened. Magnum invited me on a super yot. It was like I kicked all my life goals. I was like, this is incredible.
There's saxophone, sunset and Magnums, like a Magnum doesn't even sponsor this podcast?
Just sponsored?
Are you doing this so that you're hoping that you might get some free Magnums out of this?
I just reckon, I reckon, they'll get on board. I reckon, They've got to get on board. I'm gonna straight up super fan. But no, I did go on the It was a beautiful sunset. It was very romantic on the harbor, and I just forget. Sometimes sometimes you get stuck in life, in your bubble in the same area of I mean, I'm going to say Bondai and Sydney disgusting.
Being stuck in Bondi. It's just it's hideous. No one wants to get stuck there with all the beautiful people and the tanning and the sun and the ocean.
That's fucking all seven dollar coffee. Awful.
Poor Brittany had to go on a super yacht to get away from it.
I think any city that you're in you go to work, you get really busy, and then when you get this little bit of time off, you don't want to venture far away because you're like, I don't have a lot of downtime. I'm just gonna walk down my usual gonna go to my local. And it was really nice to actually make the effort and get out and see some of Sydney. So it was just nice, and it was difficult that you had to do it on a super yocht as well, whilst eating Magnum's.
Yeah I'm so far latable right now.
Look, I'm not trying to rub it in anyone's face, but I just want to talk about my highlight. And I got to eat Magnums on a boat and I was great. But let's talk about your week, Laura.
Oh that's not my week was, if anyone follows on Instagram, I had a pretty sad week. My grandfather passed away and we had his funeral yesterday, which was pretty hard. But then I also lost my wallet in the morning, which was also pretty sure.
Oh my god, please tell them how you lost your wallet. You didn't just lose it.
I had gone to go and get a coffee in the morning, and I was pretty flustered and Molly was being a bit of a punish. To make her quiet, I gave her my wallet to play with. At some point whilst walking home, Marley decided, I don't want this toy anymore. So I'm in a turf it out of the prem so I lost my credit cards, my ID and everything. And then driving down to the funeral, which was in Woollongong, I had no ID and I had no credit cards because Matt had gone down in a
different car. And I got three quarters the way down there and then my petrol act came on.
Oh my god, I was like, you didn't have any money to pay for it? Cars Marley three wallet down the train.
I just, honestly, it was. It's been a really, really tough week. But do you know what, I'm incredibly lucky that I've got to spend this thirty four years with an amazing man. So I am very grateful for the happy times that we had.
I'm really sorry to hear it, as you already know. We don't need to talk about that here.
But Brick came into the podcast studio today with a big bunch of flowers and she didn't have any paper, so she wrote me a note on a parking fine, and I thought she was giving me her parking fun and it was good. It said sometimes life is shit, which I think really matched the situation with the fact that it was on a parkast.
Short poem by Brittany that was funny that life delivers things like it just doesn't come in ones, It just bombard you. Do you feel like like this week you have just had a multitude of really shit things?
But do you know what I think more so it's when something big in your life happens. Then what happens is that other things that you would normally be able to cope with, and things that would be annoying but they wouldn't be quite so upsetting. Then those small things happen, but they're compounded by the fact that you're already.
Sad and they're highlighted, aren't they.
And so you just everything then surmount, so you really start to notice all the other small things. But no, I'm I'm yeah, I our We've had our sadness and we had our tears yesterday, and I'm sure there'll be plenty of times where I feel like that again, because it seems like it just comes in waves. But guys, we're going to talk about self love in this episode, and that's, you know, something that's uplifting and positive to talk about. It's something that is definitely a bit more uplifting.
You have been sending in your Accidentally Unfiltered and I freaking live.
For these now.
At the start, I was like, I wasn't sure if this was going to become a proper segment of this podcast.
Oh I was. I was like, this is brilliant.
So when Britt decided that we were going to bring on Accidentally Unfiltered, which is basically just your most embarrassing stories, I wasn't really sure if this segment had legs. Holy dick, this segment has legs, and I love it so much. One of you listeners has sent in this story, but the fact that she has sent this from what she describes as a burner account because she was too embarrassed to send it from her own account, So she'snyous.
Account, like a spy, like she's CIA, or like a troll, like she created a fake account so that she could send me this story because it's just so great.
So that we can't ever trace it.
So here it goes. When I was at Uni, I was in the library in a silent study area. I had a soal vagina.
I decide, and I decided.
To consult a website called virtual MD. I don't think it exists anymore, Salaly, do you remember this virtual MD?
I never used it, but I know about it.
So it was like Virtual MD was basically where if you had something wrong with you, like a virtual medical doctor. You had something wrong with you, you could type in your symptoms and it would tell you what was wrong with you.
So, okay, I'll get back to the story.
Basically, this is where you would enter your symptoms and then a video clip of an actual doctor would play, after which you would reply, and another clip would play, and so on.
It had subtitles.
So I typed in the symptoms and suddenly the doctor appeared on screen and boomed. You were telling me that you have an itchy vagina.
Let me see if I can help you with that. Today, everyone in the library turned to look at me.
I tried to pretend that someone had pranked me, but I don't think my acting is particularly very convincing. So after a few minutes I left. I never returned to the university library ever again.
When I moved to Alaska, I freaking love this.
Please, if you have an accidentally unfiltered story for next week, send them on through because we live for your embarrassing stories.
Also, it makes us feel so much more human. I love that that happened. But you know, there's that joke that people send you a video. When you open it, it's like a pawn thing that plays out loud. Have you had someone ever done that to you? My friend used to it to me all the time. I was like, dude, stop it, like it looks like it's gonna be a butterfly, and then you press into it as a porn thing and it's like, eh, wherever you are, you've opened it
and everyone looks at you. But I'm really enjoyed your your vocals said.
If you try and do an orgasm noise, because I haven't heard one of those for a while, go again.
No, I'm not doing it. Use your imagination. But I'm going to add another accidentally unfiltered on just a quick one. This woman wrote in and I'm between fifteen sixty and I just did something that's really funny. So she's like, my daughter had her boyfriend over and I of course wanted to know about him. So as they were in their room. I went on to Facebook to try and find him, but I accidentally friend requested him. Five seconds later, my comes out of the room and says, Mom, did.
You just friend request Cameron? And I said, no, dear, I wouldn't do that. She holds her phonem She's like, Mom, I can see it. You friend requested camer And she's like, I couldn't even say it with someone else.
I have five friends total, so it's really obviously me. Do you know this?
Actually this actually happened to me. So I had just started seeing this is years ago. I had just started seeing this guy. He was an English guy and we had just like we met on Tinder and we had been on two days, two days, and his mom requested to be my friend. She still lives in England, mind you. So our next day I was like, Hey, just wanted to flag this with you.
Your mom requested to be my friend on.
Facebook, and the poor thing he was so embarrassed because obviously he'd been talking about me to his mom.
She had done that by accident, but she was stuck. Anyway. I kind of feel all people in the internet what to day. My mom and dad used to when we got Facebook, they used to not understand. Like they used to write to me comments. They didn't know it was a comment, so we don't know it was public, so that it was like the range me a message. So my dad would be like, hey, pos and Princess, I hope you had a good day. Was just thinking about you. Are you coming over for dinner? What should we have?
I've still got some leftover chicken. Take us some toilet paper on your way home, sweetie. Everybody doesn't need to know what we're doing.
Not to like one up your parent and terrible parenting technology stories, but this is gold. So years ago, someone had posted on Facebook an rip funeral notice about one of our relatives, and my mum wrote.
Below, loll l o l because she thought I have lots of love, bless her soul. I actually thought that's what it was to loll. She wouldn't have known, because I think a lot of people think it's lots of love, right, No, maybe it is in like Norway, No one thinks that I do. People who don't know how to use the internet. How are you seventy? You know you know what I'm like with the interweb? Oh my god.
Yeah, let's just not let's just stop there, all right, guys, Let's get into this.
Guys. We're going to jump straight on in now to the big Meata segment, and that is self love. We talk about it a lot. It's a bit a bit of a hot fat at the moment, and it gets tossed around a lot. You know, you have to love yourself more, if only you loved yourself more. I mean, you can't love another person until you love yourself. And we actually had a very specific question. Somebody wrote in saying, I've recently broken up with my partner and all the
advice I'm getting is to love myself. But I don't know what that means. And I don't know how people say love yourself? But what is that? How do I get there? So, Laura, we thought we would sort of break this down today.
Just one thing I want to say before we get into this. Maybe I'm really jumping ahead on this, but I really hate that saying that nobody's going to love you unless you love yourself. It puts so much pressure on someone who may be feeling down about themselves and may not love themselves at that point in time, to tell them that nobody is going to love you because
you don't love yourself. I don't think that that's correct because I know that I have been in a relationship with somebody who suffered with depression and there were times where he didn't love himself and I still loved him, And I think that it's very dismissive. It's very dismissive, but it's also it's a very reckless way of trying to encourage someone to be more positive about loving themselves and to be more self accepting. So I just kind of wanted to like blanket that statement.
But I mean, I will often say, and I'm a believer of this too, like this is going going against the grain a bit of what you just said. But I will often say, you can't really be happy with someone else if you're not happy in yourself or on your own. And I'll say that all the time, and I mean that, But it doesn't mean you can't go
and be with somebody. When I say that, I mean, Okay, sure you might be able to go and have a relationship with someone, but unless you're actually have healed yourself and gotten yourself to a good place, you're going to take that in your new relationship. So when I say, like, you can't be happy with someone else unless you're happy on your own, I do I do genuinely sort of mean that, because I mean, you're going to take in a whole lot of negativity and a whole lot of doubt.
But of course people are still going to love you when you're broken. Of course people love you when you're down and out. I just don't think you're going into it at a successful level.
I think that sometimes we can be very black and white with the terms that we use, and I think that sometimes self love at the moment and the way that we discuss it, especially on social media and especially sort of like this hype around it is it's very superficial in that, you know, it's very much based on the aesthetics. I think we often talk about self love and we talk about, you know, accepting your cellul ade or accepting that gap in your teeth, or accepting your flat chest.
There's all these things.
That we associate self love to, and we seem to really associate it to what you physically look like. And I think that self love is it transcends far more than just accepting your physical attributes. It translates to accepting your past, accepting your personality, accepting the mistakes that you've made, and being kind and really being compassionate to yourself. So when I think of self love, I think that just this very like trivial and surface conversation around love yourself.
It don't think it really goes deep enough into what it is. And that's kind of what I was excited to talk to you about today. And this understanding of not using the terminology self love, but using the terminology more of self compassion is what I attribute it to, and that's what gets me excited about the topic.
When I think of self love for myself, I think self acceptance. I like the term acceptance and self forgiveness. I think a lot of people hold on to some things, whether they know it or not. You might have done something in the past or something that just doesn't sit right with your years on and you don't even know you're holding onto it. I think you can take that
with you all through life, and it's really important. You need to figure it out and bring it to the surface and deal with it, because if it's just sitting in the pits of your belly, you know that sick feeling when you think, do you have a moment in your life? You don't have to say what it is, Laura, But when you think back, and if you're listening to anyone, when you think back to a moment might be something you've done, might be a conversation you had with someone.
Do you ever look back and just be like, Oh, it makes me sick thinking about it. I can't believe that happened. I can't be but I did that, Like, do you have a moment?
Yeah?
Absolutely.
I mean I've definitely spoken on this podcast before about how I was a total asshole in some past relationships and it took me a really long time to get to a point where I felt worthy of having a
good relationship because I carried a lot of guilt. And what it made me realize is, yes, I may have behaved badly, and I may have cheated, and I may have not been the person that I wanted to be in those relationships, but it's made me much better at my relationship now, and I know that I have taken those mistakes and instead of continuously beating myself up about it and feeling bad and feeling like I'm not good enough, I know that I'm never gonna make those mistakes again
because I don't want to be that person. So I think that with self love comes this real self acceptance. Some people may wake up and really feel like I love myself, and that's great, and if you have that sort of like pivotal turning moment in your life, that's an incredible thing. But I also think for some people is it's a process. It's not an event. It's the
journey towards it. You know, there might be times in your life where you feel really great and really positive, and then there may be other times in your life where something happens and it just knocks the absolute wind.
Out of you. I definitely do not think you just wake up with it one day and say I love myself now. I mean, if you are the one percent they can do that, that's absolutely brilliant. But I think it's a process. It takes time. It's physical attributes, it has mental characteristics, it has spiritual trays. There's a whole holistic approach to self love. Then there are so many layers and maybe you work on one of those layers at a time, whether that's for you. You start mentally
and we'll go through some things. But I think to start with, you need to be mindful of your feelings. How are you feeling? How are things making you feel? The people you hang around, your job, your day to day. So I think that is a really big thing to start with. You wake up and are you hating yourself because you don't want to go to work that day because you hate your job? Are you hating on your because your partner is just making you feel one foot
tall all the time? You know? I think it's about peeling back the layers and starting at the basics and just asking yourself. Now you can all ask yourself, Okay, how do I feel today? How do I feel right now in this moment? How do I feel going into the day? Am I excited? Am I looking forward to it? Is there something I'm dreading? If there is, why you're dreading it? To begin with, just being in touch and like hyper aware of your feelings.
I think as well, not just in regards to the way you're feeling, because I think feelings shift and we don't always control the way we feel, like sometimes hormonally we don't have control over things. But what you do have control over are your thoughts and thoughts can proceed feelings. So if you're feeling sad and you're feeling anxious, so you're feeling a certain thing, I kind of tend to
want to lean into. Instead of trying to control the way you feel, try and control the dialogue that you're having internally, that internal dialogue that says I'm not good enough, or I'm not pretty enough, or are not skinny enough. And you have to really be aware of that critical thought that you have and trying to change that dialogue. And so anytime you catch yourself having that perfectionist talk where you're saying that you're not enough, stop stop bullying
yourself and stop being mean to yourself. And you have to switch that around, and you're like, you know what, my skin is great, my hair is great, I am skinny enough, I am funny enough, I am confident enough, And you are your thoughts. Whatever it is that you're focusing on, and whatever it is that you're thinking to yourself constantly, that's the world that you're creating for yourself. If you think you're not good enough, then you are not going to be good enough because you're constantly going
to doubt yourself. You're not going to take opportunities or chances as they're presented to you. So you're creating that environment for yourself. So I'm totally with you. I think feelings are important, but I think thoughts are the first part of that. I think really taking control of your thoughts and taking ownership for that is so important to getting to a place where you can actually start to like no, I do love. You can trick yourself into it. If you tell yourself enough, it becomes real.
A lot of this stems from comparison in the world. Yeah, like llelujah, and you know, I love to say it. I've said it before. Comparison is the thief of joy totally.
We've talked about comparison and especially with comparison with social media so much, but I think it's one of those things that you can't talk about enough in this day and age.
And it's so hard because it's in our face everywhere, whether it's on a billboard, whether it's on the bus literally the side of the bus, whether it is reality.
TV stars yea you, I'm constantly comparing myself to you.
Please so tan so pretty fake fake, But that's just it, right, It's fake, And like we have this comparison constantly where we see people on Instagram and they're so beautiful and they're so perfect.
And their lives are so fun and they're on bloody super yachts with magnum and it just makes you feel like what you have is not good enough.
I Laura, if you guys follow me on social media, Laura, do you follow me? Sometimes you would know that I have recently, I've never really shared my work life on social media because I always just thought like no one was interested in that. I thought you wanted to see the super gool and you were a highlight reel. Well like what in my mind, I'm like, why would anyone
want to see me at work? Like? How boring? But I decided just after I got a lot of people saying, you know, how great your life is, how nice it is to have everything handed to you. It made me mad, and I said, Then I thought to myself, hang on, I can't be mad because I haven't told anyone that
I do work, and how does anyone know that? But I do have multiple jobs, and my sister and I we've always worked together in a hospital, and any of your shift workers, you know, you know what that's like you do a ten hour shift, you're on call all night, you back up to another ten hour shift the next day, and I've done that for years. I don't do the on call anymore because I have too many other jobs and I actually need that sleep in between. But I still work my ass off. But I didn't want people
looking at me thinking like comparing themselves. I didn't them thinking like, oh, she's she's so lucky, she's got it all. Guys, Laura and I both work like a boss. Like Laura, I don't even know when you sleep. You don't do what is sleep? But what are you talking about?
Who am I uncee?
It's the comparison thing. And I hope you guys know that every single person you, I guess are looking up to on social media, their life is not going to be what they present it to you.
I'll give you one hot secret, guys. I went to the Melbourne Cup races, and do you know what it made me realize? When the horse racing sucks, you copped a bit.
You can get it, guys, I get it.
But what I did realize as well, from a more human perspective and a bit of people watching, is that I saw in real life, all the people that I follow on social media and all the people who I have over the years thought oh my god, she's so beautiful. Why don't I look like that? And they don't look like that. Yes, everyone is still beautiful and everyone is still stunning, but everyone is less shiny in real life.
Now that I meet and see people who I have followed and who I found inspirational aspirational purely from a physical sense, not because their lives are necessarily inspirational aspiration. They're just like on a superficial level, totally on a totally superficial level. When I've seen these people in real life, I've been like, Oh, that almost made me feel better about myself, which is terrible because once again I'm comparing myself.
It's a realization that's not what it's seems, you know.
And I know that we're becoming more woke to this. I know that we're starting to realize it, but I don't think people realize it to the full extent, because you know, you're never, like, for the majority of people, you're never going to see the people that you follow on Instagram in real life. Some people are getting better with sharing all aspects and all facets via stories. But there are still a lot of people out there who share a very curated, very like face tuned, very photoshop,
very filtered version of their life. And I think you would be surprised if you've met some of these people in real life.
And like you said, they're all beautiful, but you're like some of them I didn't recognize just less shiny. Yeah, I was like wow.
I was like, that's that's what you look like without Valencia over your face.
Oh my god, how do you even say this? Let's just say it. Every single woman has cellula, every single woman has stretch marks. I have them.
I have a massive pimple on my butt right now as well. I'm not going to make anyone else feel good.
One I didn't know. We'll go on there feel good.
Do you know what I do want to talk about in this? And this is pretty like, this is pretty out.
There for me.
I haven't spoken about this stuff before in regards to accepting oneself. When I finished the show, like when we came off The Bachelor, there was a period there where I was so insecure because I would open up Instagram and someone would have messaged, you know, she looks like a prawn. That this was a comment for example, or you know, is that person even talking about great body, but throw away the head for anyone who doesn't know she looks like a prawn, or she has no lips anyway.
But like the majority of them were about my face and how I wasn't pretty enough. And never in my life, not that I was ever egotistical or self absorbed, but never in my life had I looked at myself in the mirror and not liked what I saw. I always looked at myself in the mirror and thought, Okay, we can work with this, this is totally doable. But there was about a year after the show finished where I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn't think I was good enough.
I didn't think I was good enough for Matt. I didn't think I.
Was pretty enough to be in the privileged situation that I was in. I didn't think I was pretty enough to have been the last person standing on the Bachelor. I just didn't think I was good enough at all. And I went and I got feelers in my lips and I got feelers in my cheeks, and I was trying to I'm actually gonna get upset. I was trying to be something that I wasn't and trying to change yourself to make other people happy is never going to
make you happy. If you find yourself going down that train of thought or thinking that you need to have bigger lips because other people have that, or you need to change something about yourself because it's going to make you prettier or better or happier, I think that's when you really need to stop and stop trying to change how you physically look, and really try and change the
way you're thinking about yourself. You are so unique in everything that makes you you, and that is absolutely enough, no matter what somebody says to you.
Well, there's only one year, isn't there in the whole world, there's one new interesting So before I went on the Bachelor, I was booked in for a console to get my boobs done. I didn't know I know, so I'd booked in. This was literally like literally just before I got on the Bachelor. Then I got the call for the Bachelor. So I canceled that because I was the console. Because I was like, I'm going on the Bachelor, So I
canceled that. When on the show, and I am so glad that worked out the way it did, because when I came out the other side, I realized that I was doing I don't think at that time I was doing that necessarily for me. I think I think I was surface level being like, yeah, I'm totally doing this for me, like I've got small boobs, you know, it'll make me feel better. But I think there's a lot there was a lot of it that was about I've been single a long time. Maybe if I had bigger boobs,
better boobs, guys I like me more like. There was definitely an aspect of that if I'm I wouldn't have admitted that at the time, But you know, I've gone through a lot since then, and I've changed a lot, and I've reflected a lot, and I think that there was a big part of me that was maybe thinking that it would attract a penguin. Penguin's like boobs. Everyone likes its science, but I love my like now, I love my boobs. Yeah they're small. And it's what you
just said. Comes with age, like you said, and you just get to a point where you get more comfortable and for example, like you just said, all these by the way, those people that trolled you what fucking idiots. I'm sorry.
That's a whole other conversation really, just like we can have another conversation about internet trolling. But just to add to that last what I was saying before, I don't have any filler in my face now, like that stuff has dissolved over the years and it's all gone, and I look like I used to look, I think anyway, And maybe some people would never have even noticed they've done it in the first place, and some people did.
But I now, being at my lowest and also come out of that, like, I know that that does not make me happy, and that's why I feel like I can tell you that changing things about yourself is not going to make you happy. Happiness has to come from the way you feel about yourself and has to come
from this contentment. And the most important relationship that you have is the relationship that you have with yourself, because regardless of whether you're in a relationship now, regardless of whether you find a boyfriend in a year's time, six years time, whatever, you are going to spend a lot of time alone in your life, and you need to be okay with who you are when there's nobody else around.
Like we did touch on it before. If you have a really crooked nose and it makes you so unhappy and self conscious, sure go get fixed. As long as you're know it's for you, not anyone else. So like it's super important to know that it's your body and it's your life. You can do whatever the hell you want with it as long as it's for you. It's funny because Ali from the Bachelorette Ali, she's actually been really vocal and open about she had very very large breasts,
and she was really open. She had a breast reduction a few months ago, and she said she got those because he basically for her boyfriend to make him happy, because he wanted her to have bigger boobs. And she is open saying, as big as regret of my life because I didn't do it for me like I did it for him, and then they broke up and she's left with his breasts. She wasn't happy with Emma.
We're not shaming plastic surgery, We're not shaming cousemetic injections, We're not shaming any of that stuff. If you want to do that for yourself and that makes you happy for you, then that is totally fine. But if you're doing it because you feel like you have to because you don't feel good enough, that is where the problem is.
Okay, So I do think it's important that we talk a little bit more about some steps you can take if you're not quite at that level of self love yet and you still have some work to do, and you know you have work to do, but you don't know how to get there. So we're going to discuss a few things. I think one of them first and foremost. This is a personal opinion, and I don't talk about this a lot, but I have been the lowest of lows.
You know.
I've had some really tough things in my life, and I have been there and I've had to pull myself up off the ground and walk up the steps and get back on to the top of that mountain. And the number one thing that helped me was exercise. I just fell into this routine and I realized that every day, whether it was just a walk, a run, boxing, whatever, I was moving every day, and I felt ten times better after it. I wouldn't want to get out of bed, but once I made myself get up, the day improved.
The hardest thing with exercise is if you haven't done it and it's not part of your it's not part of your routine, and you're so far off the bandwagon, just starting can seem so incredibly overwhelming.
But you don't have to look at it as though like.
I'm getting back into exercise. Just go for a walk, Just do something small every day that's going to start to like progressively get you back on track and back into shape. Because I definitely think exercise is one of the best things for getting your brain happy again.
Well, I mean, there are actual chemical reactions that happen in your body.
It's the endorphins. That's the good stuff.
And eventually we've spoken about this in the first episode back this year, actually, and that is just about getting yourself into a routine. So after maybe three weeks, I think a lot of science says three weeks, and then you start to get into a habit, You form a habit, and with that you'll start to want to eat better. And I think nutrition comes into self love because you holistically, you want to feel good on the outside and the inside,
and that comes from good food. If you're laying in bed binge eating, I mean we've always man, I was like, yeah, I think eating really well, exercising, just starting to look after yourself from the inside out.
There's a bloody brilliant place to start from a very superficial level. When you feel like you look good, you feel good about yourself. So I mean, you can't it's all fine and danny to be like you just need to love yourself exactly the way you are. But there are steps that you can take that are like very very healthy and very productive, such as exercise. They can get you on the right track to feeling that way
about yourself inwards and outwards. I think another really important one is boundaries, and I think another really important aspect of that is saying no if you're doing something that doesn't make you happy, if you're being around people who don't add value to your life or make you feel good about yourself, they bring you down. If you have toxic friendships, if you have frenemies, you feel like shit, just can''t just ghost them?
Just bloody cotton down, can it?
I just cannot stress this enough. I think this also comes with age, and it comes with you get to a point where in your life you just you're not You're not going to put focus and time and energy into people who don't make you happy and don't make you feel good and don't give back to the quality of the relationship that you put in. Now, I think that this is such an important aspect of self love,
of self care, of self respect. You need to remove people and things that are not not treating you the way that you deserve to be treated.
I'm really good at not having people in my life that are not good for me, Like somebody that a toxic friend. I'm really good at leaving that behind. I don't cause a scene or anything, but I just don't encourage the friendship and I let it fade. What I'm not really good at, and I'm really really trying to work hard at it, is saying no.
But self love doesn't have to be this like rah rah rah, like I'm going out.
I'm living.
I'm living my life to the MAXX. Self love can be sitting at home watching Netflix, eating a bowl of ice cream, just taking care of yourself, doing nothing. You know, I thought that was what self love is. That's what I'm debating. Just loads of masturbating guys nail that. No, but self love is if you need to take time out from all your friendship circles, from all the noise
and the stimulus and other people. Sometimes self love is taking a couple of days to yourself just to really reconnect and get your thoughts in order and get your life in order. Sometimes, when you're caught in the craziness of life and the busyness, you haven't really stopped and taken time to go, oh, how do I think and feel about these situations? Why am I so stressed out or anxious? Or why is there so much noise? Giving yourself quiet space and saying no is a huge part of what self love is.
And it takes a lot of power and courage to say no to people sometimes, especially when you love them. But if if you physically and mentally know that you can't deliver, that's totally okay, and a real friend will understand. I've put a little point in here that I want to talk about, and that is trying new things. One of them that I tried is meditation. What do you think about that? I don't know how I feel about meditation. I'm not so woke that I can get on the
meditation train. I think that's a common misconception. I don't think you have to be woke. I'm not all meditation. People say I went and did a month. I spent a month with a monk and I learn to meditate and came. I have never done yoga, I've never done meditation before. I had never done anything. I made a decision to go and try something new to help me from the inside out. I met this monk. He was really funny. He had a shiny head. So I was like, I'm gonna I'm.
Gonna do this with you're You're really an easy sell, aren't you.
Oh the bendist arm ever called Bendy arm Brittany. So I did this month with his monk. He taught me to meditate. He taught me literally how to feel good, be a better person, and love myself. And it was I didn't go in searching for him. I stumbled across him, but it changed my life. I often still meditate now, and I don't You don't have to go and sit at the beach cross legs, you know, hands out with the little signs.
She's trying to do point a finger touching thumb like a little Lena mistake.
Yeah, that's not meditator. Yeah, that's not it. I do it in my room. I often do it before I go to sleep or first thing when I wake up. And it really did set the tone for the rest of my life. And I know that sounds crazy, but it changed the way I think. It changed the way situations and people and things affect me. Like nothing gets to me as much as that you do. It's like water off a duck's back. And I definitely attribute it to this guy. And this time we.
Like we talked about at the beginning of this podcast, talking about like training your thoughts, Like I mean, maybe that is what meditation is in a very crude sense without putting a label on it. If you're retraining yourself to think a certain way and stopping yourself from having negative thought patterns, maybe that is a type of meditation as well.
It is one hundred percent. There are so many levels.
So I have this one and I want to do this for you guys, because this was when I was in a really, really dark place. This really really helped me when I was talking about earlier about retraining your thoughts and like really trying to recent to yourself and when you find yourself thinking negative things. This exercise actually
changed my life. I was going through a terrible, terrible breakup, and I was sitting at my desk at work and I was bawling my eyes out into my keyboard and my boss came up and he said, I have a I have an audiotape I want you to listen to.
Now, this is way before podcasts. I have a cassette.
Yeah, I have, and my Walkman, it wasn't that ridiculous, Actually maybe it was a cassette was anyway, So I went to the boardroom and I sat in the boardroom and he gave me a Tony Robins take to listen to. I know that Tony Robins can be a bit polarizing, like some people love him, some people hate him. But this exercise genuinely changed my life. So I can't take credit for this. This is a Tony Robins exercise, but
I'm going to do it with you guys now. So if you can only really do this if you're in a in a confined room, or like you're in your house or yeah, you're in your office space. I feel like doing it on a walk is probably a bit difficult. So if you're doing it on a walk, then skip past this and come back to it. That's my that's my advice, Britt. I'm gonna do it with you.
Oh great, Okay, what do I do?
Okay, So, on the count of three, I'm gonna get you to close your eyes right, and when I tell you to open your eyes, don't.
Draw a penis on my face? Please? Is that where this is going? Am I being punked? No? Okay? Close.
So, guys, if you're listening to this, close your eyes, close your eyes, and on the count of three, listen to my soothing voice. On the count of three, you're gonna open your eyes and you're gonna look around the room that you're in, and you're gonna look for everything that you can find in your room that is brown. You're gonna look for really specific details, and you're gonna get get really specific with this.
Guys.
I want you to look at all the little things that are in your room and in your surrounding space.
They're brown.
So one, two, three, open your eyes and look around for brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown.
Shut your eyes. Okay, got it? Now, shut your eyes, guys, shut your goddamn eyes. I've got heaps of things.
Stop freaking, peaking, freaky peeky. I'm gonna win this so hard. Shut your eyes now, with your eyes closed. I want you to tell me everything that you saw in the room that is green.
Oh I knew there was a twist.
Can I open my eyes? No, you have to try and tell me something. You got to keep your eyes closed and tell me something that you saw that there's nothing in this.
Room that's green. We have the most neutral room the world.
Okay, open your eyes. Turn around behind you where you were just looking all like two huge green bags. There's two green wool Worth bags on the ground. There's the flowers that are on the ground that are green that our actual hour recording Mike has like two little green spikes. They keep going up and down when we're talking. You're going with this. There's green on my Mount Franklin bottle
right there. So I'm hoping and assuming that if you guys have just done this exercise, you had a pretty similar outcome and that you can't recall anything that you've seen that's green. Basically, this exercise is supposed to try and show you that your brain only has the capacity to focus on what you give power to. So if you're focusing on all the shit in your life and you're thinking that everything's shit and you're seeing shit everywhere,
then all you're going to see is brown. But if you start to try and rework your brain, every time you're thinking about the brown, every time you're thinking about the shit, every time you're thinking you're not pretty enough,
you're not good enough, you're not funny enough. You need to stop yourself and try and remember all the good things in your life and all the things that make you happy, the relationships that you have that give you like so much joy and so much love, The things about yourself that are actually great, like the fact that you're so funny, or you're you're you know, you can be really objective in situations, or you're a great friend. There are so many amazing things happening in your life.
But because as people we only have the ability to focus on specific things at a time, don't give power towards shit.
Try and look for the green. That's very interesting because I actually didn't notice anything green, and I bought you those flowers and then run from me. Tony Robbins, guys, get that in your gas. I really think that that was very insightful and I think a lot of people learned something I definitely did. So thanks for bringing out to the table. You're welcome, Brittany, thank you, thank you so much. Please come again next week. Okay, well, I think that's a salad rap on that. Did you just
say salad rap? Yeah? Like it's like it's a rap, Like that's a rap, like a rap party, but like a salad rap party. To leave now.
We also wanted to really approach this self love topic and not do it from a superficial rah rah rah love yourself perspective. I really hope that we touch on a few things that maybe bring a different perspective on what we think self love is and how there are the challenges there are, how there are different challenges associated with loving yourself. But guys, in just as a rap on this one, and not even as a salad rap, just as a rap, just a plain old rap. I
don't think self love and I know britt doesn't. I'm going to speak for both of us right now. Can you Self love is not it's not an event, it's not a destination. You're not going to get there and then that's it, and you're going to stay there. It is a dynamic journey. It changes as you age, as you reach different milestones in your life, as your relationship changes. But it's all about trying to get to a point where you're really content and happy in the person that you are exactly as you are.
Oh do I say something now? No, We're done it.
So, guys, we never ever finished an episode with Aunt doing a suck and sweet and our second sweet is our high lights and our low lights of the whole week. And I'm gonna go first because I think that everyone knows what my suck is. This week has been one big, great, big suck. But my sweet, My sweet for the week is my nana. My my nana is she's eighty nine and she's been married to my grandfather for sixty five years.
And she was so incredibly strong and she's such an incredible woman and I'm so proud to be her granddaughter and I'm so proud of her.
And I know she's never gonna listen to this poodcast. I'm gonna send it to her, bless you, but I'm so proud of her. That's what she's proud of you too, I know. Okay, let's let's take one big breath in.
Do you know what?
Actually, no, you can let it out. I also cry. I'm not gonna cry and look okay, but you are shut up. But we can turn that into laughy tears. It's good to feel, guys, feel sit in the shut up. What's your suck? So trying to make me cry? Look?
My suck's probably you do that again without groaning into the microphone.
That was my thought. I was doing it ed, shearing and thinking out loud, I'll get it. Fuck fell sure that one. My suck is Okay, my suck and sweet I actually do this a lot. They're almost like go hand in hand. Okay, my sweet is the fact that I'm going to Barley for do you suck? But it won't make sense. Okay. My suck is that I haven't booked anything in Bali except I've booked my flight to Balley and I've booked a driver, but I haven't booked anything else and I don't know.
Yolo, Oh my god, so fret my spirit, live your best life.
No, it's not that I just haven't had time. It's not been it's not about being a free spirit. My driver's like I just booked him today and he's like, where am I taking you? And I was like, uh, to be continued, I don't know, and just let me sitting that for the next four hours. But my sweet is I am going to Bally tomorrow. So I'm going to go home tonight and quickly find somewhere to stay and then I'll be off.
So, guys, because Brittany has a terrible work ethic and it's not going to be here next week and is going to Bali, we are not going to be bringing you our ask uncut this week. So if you have been just you know, if you're not going to make it through the week because you have such a burning question that you needed answered, I'm sorry Brittany is leaving you. She's abandoned you blame me.
But Laura has said you can message the question directly to her and she'll answer it. She's good like that.
Unsubscribed So anyways, guys, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We absolutely we are so privileged and so like blown over by every single person who has been leaving reviews lately. Wow, you guys are the best blown away or blown over? Blown away, I'm blown away, but I got toppled over by the compliments. I wasn't quite blown away by them, but I was just blown over.
No, we're blown in all directions from all your compliments, the.
Fact that you have taken so much time and care and so much consideration to give us your feedback and to tell us what you love about the podcast, and you know how you do love the ridiculous stories and Britney's awful volcanoes.
It my laugh actually makes an appearance a lot in the reviews. Have you noticed and I have? I love your heart to me.
But guys, we absolutely love creating this podcast for you. We create this content free for you because it's something that gives us a lot of joy, and we're so proud and privileged to know that it also brings you some joy on your Tuesdays and Thursdays also.
Yeah, and we can't thank you enough for tuning in, and a lot of you have started to share this with your friends and we really really love that because that's going to help us grows.
I've been talking about doing a Facebook page. Actually, guys, we have a Facebook page. We've not done anything to it, but if you guys want a community where you can unpack some of these episodes and talk about different topics yourselves, and also maybe share some of your ask on Cut
questions or we can share them anonymously. If you, guys think a Facebook page might be something that's beneficial to this community that we're building, then give us a whole because we're really kind of sitting on the fence as to whether this is something we should do or not. So if you think it's going to be a good idea, and you've made it all the way to this point in the episode, let us know your thoughts on that because we would absolutely love it.
And guys, well even better than that. Actually, Laura, I'm just gonna one up you. I've actually made the page. We just haven't told anyone. So if you are interested, the way you can let us know that is by going and following the page and join it. It's a Life on Cut podcast on Facebook. There's a community group in there and everything, because we are going to start some discussions on there and we thought it would be
really nice. We just haven't got there. But go on over, jump on board and join the community so that you're ready to rumble. I love this surprise.
I like it that you actually do work it's great.
Oh don't even get me started.
So guys, thanks again for listening to another episode.
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