Hi guys, and welcome back to our second episode of the week, our Ask Uncut episode Updown in Dirty episode where we answer all of your.
Deep, dark and burning question.
I know that I have always said that this is unsolicited advice, but this is actually solicited advice because you ask us. It's just unqualified advice comes from many, many years of very poor decision making. And I am reformed, guys, That's why I am here. I also used to be that annoying person that would give advice and then never follow my own advice and never let lessons in that as well.
So I a little like super quick update, guys, went on a date last night. It was great, Like I didn't even ask you and you just came straight with you. Like, so everyone, I'm dating someone and we're getting married. It's going great. I've picked out my baby names well because I have had a little hiatus of sorts, so I haven't really been dating much, so it was exciting. I knew you were gonna ask me, so I just got in there anyway. I walked in the door.
Laura, It's like, how's the date last night?
Brett has this thing that she always says after she goes in a date with anybody who's hot, She's like, and he doesn't even know how hot he is.
Am I for it.
They all know how hot they are, every single one of them know how hot they are.
And then I'm like, no, but this one doesn't. Yeah, but this one is different, and it is this one different?
Well, I think it's I'm really attracted to someone that doesn't know they're attractive and he Hey, I don't think he really knows.
They all know.
They just play humble because then they all like, Okay, I'm like, gonna give brittany' some hard advice here, because at least seventy percent of the ones that you've been on dates with recently have not turned out to be great guys, which makes me think they're acutely aware of how fucking what they are.
Okay, he turned up in I Love This. There's gonna be a lot of people and you, guys, if you know me well and if you've been following the podcast for a while, you know that he's probably my soulmate because he turned off in a turtleneck, a white a white turtleneck, and I was like, be still, my beating heart. I think we were made for each other and I had a turtleneck. Don't at me, it's really cold weather. It's Sydney. At the moment, I had a turtleneck on. We were matching. We looked cute.
I felt like a baby's little cue.
So you're like, he has a heartbeat, so he's absolutely my soulmate. The man is breathing, and he responds to my text messages. I love him on a serious note, it actually did. He was really sweet, it went well, and the turtlenecks were real.
Something else actually happened to me yesterday. I again, guys, if you've been following on the podcast for a little while, you will know what I'm talking about. I walked into my local coffee shop with my sister. I heard his voice.
I heard it. I didn't see him, and my whole body stiffened.
And you know that feeling when you've run into an egg and you feel sick because it's like it's not a good ax.
It's like, oh my, you know that feeling. Yes, every single person knows. I feel like anyway horrendous.
I heard it and I was like, okay, this is all micro seconds.
I'm like, what are you gonna do here? You're gonna turn around and fight a flight? Fire flight? Where do I go?
I hadn't audered yet, so I was fight a flight. So I did this like really slow turn. My sister turns around and looks at me. She's like, are you okay? You're fucking seen a dead person? Like I was so dramatic. Anyway, I turned around and there in front of me was Meet Raffle.
So if you guys don't know, you haven't followed along from the podcast at the beginning, Meet Raffle was like our season one.
This is this guy that fri It was dating for a while.
Well, he bought me, he purchased her at a charity event and he turned out to be real doozy of a fella. Wow, you know what, You're the third person this week who's told me that they've run into a trauma x oh. Like we did not end well, we were like blocking each other. It was it was disastrous. It was mean text mainly from him. Anyway, I saw him and I was like, has he seen me yet? And I don't think he had. So I looked at Sharon and I was I literally looked at I was
like run. She's like what I'm like run and we ran out, and that was in my heart was beating. I felt like it had a heart attack, and I was like, how ridiculous that there are still people like this that can make you feel like that, Like I shouldn't have had to have done that, but my body was like panic mode.
No, but I think that even though you're so resolved from that time in your life and like, it's not something that you think about in a day to day and no one wants to be thrown into it allward situation where they have to be confronted by somebody who really hurt them. And like, just for anybody who's like
more reason to the podcast, who's jumped on board. It was a guy that Britt was seeing for a few weeks or a few months or something, but then when she tried to break it off, he reacted like a crazy person and was so angry and so abusive and so disgusting in his messages and responses that, yeah, it ended in a whole lot of blocking unsubscribed from you pal.
Yeah.
You also he knew that was my cafe, that was that was my thing. I was like, I was like, you know that this is my domain? So what you're doing up in here?
Do you know what I have?
The this is from so many moons ago, but like when when we finished filming Bachelor, right, so like I hadn't seen anyone for three and a half months. I'd been in lockdown. I'd been dating Matt. Obviously we went out together, but no one knew about it. And the day that I came out of lockdown, I came back to Sydney and I caught up with my sister and she lives in Paddington. I went straight to her house and then we were like, we'll go get a coffee.
So we walked across the road and down Oxford Street. And as I'm walking down Oxford Street, my trauma ex is.
Walking towards me. I was like, of all the people I could possibly see.
Right now in this place, at this exact time that I'm deciding to get a coffee, Like.
I have not seen anybody for three and a half months, and here is this one person who's caused me so.
Much paid and there's probably no where you could go.
Well, I ran into assembly label and I was like, I just want to try these things on, grabbed like seven things and run into a change.
I want to try these onto my face right now. Anyway, guys, what we realized on Tuesday's episode was that it was a super long episode. We covered lots of different topics, but we didn't get to bring you our favorite segment.
Which is accidentally unfiltered and I had.
I had a really cute actually unfiltered saved and so I'm going to jump in and say it before we get into answering your questions this week.
So here it is.
This happened to me several years ago when I first moved to Japan. Now, my Japanese skills were pretty terrible, so I used Google Translate a lot while shopping. Anyway, I was looking for a quick snack and I saw a small bag that looked like rice crackers. It had a picture of cheese and fish on it, so I thought, yeah, this is just some unique Japanese flavor. I used picture
translate and it said something like a healthy cheese. So I bought it and I loved it, and I went back a few days later and I bought two more packets. I ate one of the two packets a week later, and then one day one of my Japanese friends came over to watch a movie, and I was like, hey, babe, you want a snack. She looked at the packet and said, are you fucking kidding me?
How what? I said, what do you need?
And then she began to explain to me that my favorite new snack was actually cat food.
I was so surprised and told her how delicious it was. I sometimes still get cravings for that cat food.
I mean, was it organic? What flavor? Are we talking? Fish and cheese? Yum?
I love tuna.
I think she was thinking it was like some sort of tuna and cheese flavored cracker.
But anyway, I was like, this is adorable.
That's actually so I wonder how many people have done that. Well, Marley eats dog food all the time.
This is my point.
Kids eat cat from dog food all the time. It actually can't taste that bad.
Mally will pick up busters dog food and carry it around like four little pellets in her hand and just eat them like they're sultanas or snacks. And every so often I'm like, what's in your mouth, which is like the most common phrase that any mother says to their child, what have.
You got in your mouth? And she's just chomping away on some dog food.
Well, if you, to be fair, if you were buying really good pet food these days, most of it is actually real meats and it's organic and it's you can get really great stuff, so it's probably not anything bad in there.
I mean, like Buster is an Eastern Suburbs dog his dog food is premium shit.
But also we sound like we're howking dog food now? Which when not?
And things aren't that tight that we need to eat dog food. Okay, I've actually got a really cute one that just came into girls.
This just happened. I love that they come straight to us.
I just text my boss, why do I always get the runs when I've got my period?
So rude? Which was actually meant to go to my bestie.
I want to die inside and I'm calling in sick tomorrow.
Hey question, did you get that Excel spreadsheet? And also, oh my god, I cannot stop shitting myself. How much did the period sucks?
It's literally the worst thing when you've pressed sent on a text and it's like as soon as your finger goes down and sloman and presses the button, you've clocked that it's the wrong person.
But it's it's done. As there's nothing to.
Do unless you can be the biggest ninja in the world. Look what you can do, especially if it's on like WhatsApp or something that takes that extra second to send. If you press send and you've noticed as you're pressing it, you can swipe down real quick, put aeroplane mode on and it will stop it from sending.
But what if you just think it stopped it from sending and the person's actually still gotten it.
No, you're sitting there in this like moment of like because you know how it comes out like not delivered, So you have to be a ninja jedi. Like it's almost impossible to do.
But I feel like Gmail at least it's got out back where it's got like you have like at least ten seconds to unsend an email the amount of times who I've sent Yeah, kind retards Laura Burne unsend unsnd that anyway.
Should we get in to some questions? Hit me question number one?
All right, question number one? Hey, girls, I need your help. I met this guy on a night out and we started sleeping together and messaging each other every day for about a month. One night, after going to the pub, he went home with one of my friends and he slept with her. Now she didn't know that he and I were sleeping together. He's now messaging her every day and asking to see her all the time. I value my friendship with her, but I also have feelings for
this guy. Do I tell her how I feel? Or do I let it go?
Please? Help? What a dirty dog? I mean, this guy's a dick.
If he knows that she's your friend and he's sleeping with her, then I don't know. I want to say to you cut him off straight away. Yeah, I'm going to say, like, I'm with you, Brett. I think like the relationship that you had with him, whatever it was, whether it was you know, obviously it was just sleeping together and you were hoping for more, that's done. Now, Like that's one hundred percent put to bed. I think like the most important thing for you you should be
to prioritize your friendship. And I don't think that there's any harm in telling your friend. If your friend doesn't know that you guys were sleeping to I think, if anything, she would want to know that because imagine if they then start dating and she finds out six months later that actually you fucked a boyfriend, weird, crazy things are going to get out of control. So I think be
honest and say, hey, this is the situation. I'm telling you this because there's a part of me that was really into him, and I'm pretty sad about it, But I don't have any I'm not holding you to any account because, like, obviously this is not your friend's fault at all. So I really think prioritize your friendship in this, but definitely have a conversation with her about it, but you don't have to talk to him about it anymore.
And I definitely don't think that you should be trying to pursue a relationship with him because he went and had sex with your friend, like he knew what he was doing. He made that bed, he later it had a good old time. What I think about this is, firstly, I wonder how good a friends you are with this girl. And I'm only asking you this because if I was seeing someone and sleeping with them for a month and I really had feelings for them, my friends would know.
But we literally dated the same guy, and it was only after you had been dating him for weeks, and I was like, I've I had sex with him a few years ago.
But that's well, we tried to have sex. It didn't really work out first.
Because that is because not because I didn't tell you, that's because we were referring to him by a different names. So I still straight up went to and was like dating this guy because I think that's what friends do. So my point is like, usually you're telling each other good friends about what's going on in your life.
But let's let's just give.
Her the benefit of the doubt that they are still good friends, and she just genuinely hadn't told her friend yet. You know, like sometimes you want to keep your your sexual escapades private.
I mean, yes, I keep my dating life very reprivate, so I've I mean, I know that that's like a foreign territory for you.
But like maybe she doesn't want to tell a friend, or didn't want to she was waiting to see what it eventuated into, or maybe she was feeling like, Okay, I like this guy, but clearly this is a bit of a hangs and banging situation. I don't want to be embarrassed, So she chose not to talk to a friend about it. But that's obviously created this little pickle dickle of the situation.
Yeah, straight up, you just need to tell her, And it doesn't have to be a big deal and a big sit down we need to talk. It just needs to be like, Hey, I didn't really want to tell you at the start because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or I didn't want to stop you from doing what you're doing. But I've actually been seeing this guy for a while and I have feelings for him.
And ultimately, you need to have the combo as friends, and you need to She needs to be aware of it also, and you need to decide what you want from that conversation, Like are you doing this because you want to date this guy and you're in love with this guy? And if that is the case, I feel like you need to think seriously about that, because he doesn't sound like the kind of guy you want to keep around and take home to your parents.
But also, I'm just gonna give this guy the benefit of the doubt for.
Two songs you would I know, No, Actually.
I don't want to sit here and shit on him, because like if you guys were literally just sleeping with each other, just you know, going out at nighttime, hanging out, maybe having a drink or two going home and hangs and bangs. He had given you no indication that there was going to be a relationship that was going to transpire from this. Like then that's kind of on you
that you became emotionally invested. If he really said, like, I'm not looking for anything, this is what this is, and you were hoping for it to be more and then he's moved on to somebody else. I mean, granted it's your friend. That's a really shit situation and it definitely shouldn't be the case. But I think, you know, we can't punish him and sit here and say like that he's the shittest guy on earth, because like, really, he wasn't emotionally invested in this in the first place.
I also think that you need to be transparent with your friend and say, hey, look, we were sleeping together and then he totally goes to me and now he's sleeping with you, because you don't want to give the impression that he's trying to play both of you at the same time, which is not what it sounds like he's doing. It does sound like he kind of went, oh, okay, well I'm going to stop doing this thing.
Over here.
That doesn't really mean anything to me, and I'm going to invest some time over here and maybe that does mean something to him. So like, I think, be careful with how you have this conversation because like, yes, what he's done is a bit shit, but it's not like we're not gonna like hoist him up and set the guy on fire yet.
No, which is why I think the best thing to do in these situations is always just to tell the truth. Don't don't embellish it, and don't actually like you guys are in love and up until yesterday he was messaging you.
Just be like, hey, I was seeing him for a while.
I really liked him, and now he's sort of seeing you and I still like him, and this is awkward. But what I what I want to drive home here is and I say this all the time, and I stand by it, if a guy wants to see you, and if a guy wants to speak to you, and if a guy is interested in you, if he likes you, if he wants to pursue something with you, he will one hundred percent.
Make that obvious. He will let you know.
He will be clear because men don't sit back and say I really want that. I'll just wait for it to come to me.
They don't do it.
If they are keen as bean, you will know about it. And there's this saying, you know if you're confused if he likes you, chances are he doesn't and it sucks to hear, but you need to know that to hear. And I'm sorry, but I feel like he doesn't want to pusue anything serious with you. And maybe you guys are friends and you got along really well and you probably actually did have a connection and you had a
lot of fun together. But I think that's where it stops for him, by the sounds of it from what you've said.
Do you know what Weeley Britt, the guy that we both dated has actually dated three of my friends you included as one and two other girls.
Shut up, but I was first.
Guys, but you were only first because I didn't live in Sydney at It's.
So true waiting nowhere it went downhill vast.
But also that's that's not to say anything bad about this guy at all. That's that is what happens in the Eastern Beaches. No, it's like a small world every and especially if you're single in the Eastern Beaches. It's in an even smaller world. So I think that's what happens. These pool of people end up sort of dating people that you know, have dated someone else.
But also it's it's online dating, it's Tinder, it's bumble. It's like, you know, we I had absolutely no connection, Like when you know this guy, what should we call him?
Fred? Just going friend?
So when I matched with Fred, I had absolutely no connections to him, like, we don't have any mutual friends, we don't have anyone in common. And we hit it off. We you know, we dated for a little while, we tried.
To have sex.
There was some things there that didn't really work out for us anyway. Look just nim didn't work out. And then he matched with somebody else on Tinder, who by chance was a good friend of mine, and then they started dating. And it was only after a couple of months when she was like, Hey, I'm dating this guy and we can't seem to have sex.
And I was like, oh, I feel like I know this story. And then the same thing happened to you. There is a real common narrative in this which makes me feel a lot better about myself because for a
while there, I thought it was me. So for example of how small this world is, the guy that I went on a date with last night, we've been talking for like two weeks online dating because that's where everyone meets these days, and someone else last night I got like a lot like from someone else online dating, and he looks sort of cute, and I went onto his profile.
Is this play you were on your date? No, this was before the.
Date though, in the afternoon, and I was like, this guy looks cute and I was sort of scrolling the page and then I saw one of his profile pictures was the exact same profile picture of the guy I went on the date with. Like there was like three friends in a profile picture and I was like, oh shit, anyway, I dolved into it, and they're really good friends.
Will you like unmatched unmatched, unmatched, unmatched? Well, I had it, yeah, And I was like, okay, uh do that?
You know when you have that feeling and I always go to the worst, I'm like, all right, are they do they both know what's going on here and they're both Is this like a test to see because I've been talking to one of them for two weeks?
Is this a test? To be like, is she going to talk to this other guy? Anyway? I didn't. I didn't even go there.
But my point is I was like, literally, two people that I've seen in the last half an hour are best friends and have the same profile pictures. It's just how it is online dating. You just have to be really hyper aware of it.
Okay, let's get into question number two.
Yeah, we sidetracked so many times, and I think we're not answering this question anymore.
I love that, and we're just having a conversation. Hey, girls, I have a question.
How important do you think instant attraction is when you start dating someone? Is it more important than a deeper connection? Do you think instant attraction is imperative to the relationship.
I really like this question. If I had this conversation last night on the day.
The way I feel about it personally is different to what the experts say. Like for me, I need to feel instantly attracted to the person that I'm dating. I need to have something there. And when I say instantly attracted, I don't want to be like misunderstood. This is not necessarily about a physical aesthetics. This is not like that
this guy needs to be dropped at gorgeous. There needs to be something about their energy which makes me sound real woo woo, But there needs to be something about them. Maybe it's their conversation, maybe it's their humor, they needs their presence, like, whatever it is, there has to be something about them that makes me see them in a romantic light. Like I haven't ever personally been in the situation where I've met someone had zero spark and then
it's grown. I say that about myself, like my experience and like my dating history is no way an attack on your dating experience or your dating history. I'm sure there's loads of people out there who have met someone had zero interest in them, and then because they have built this friendship and there's connection and love that it's developed into something deep and really really special. So I
think that the full spectrum is completely valid. But for me, I like there to be something that makes me want to rip their clothes off.
Yeah, and so you've said instant connection. That's the words you've used, like this, that's the words the listener has said, is instant connection. Now, yes, I do think you have to have an instant connection, but that doesn't have.
To be physical like a spark everything.
It's got to be for me personally, I think there has to be a connection straight away, but that could be on so many different levels. That could be. Humor is probably the biggest thing for me. If you make me laugh, you're halfway there.
Yeah, I love it when a guy is just a big joke story of my laugh.
Wait, that's why I say make me laugh because old dating.
Life is a joke. No, you have it for me.
It's like you don't have to be drop dead gorgeous. I mean it helps, but you don't have to be drop dead gorgeous. But if you are drop dead gorgeous, I'd really like you to not know how hot you are. You don't know how hot you are, please, which they don't, Laura, except when you wore a white turtl on egg like that. So I think a make me laugh that's a really
good connection for me too. If you can hold a conversation and if they have a level of intelligence and they can engage you and they're interested in you, I think that that is a connection too. Everything else can come from that. I dated a guy once. I think I've told you guys maybe in Scotland I dated him. I rented his house while he was away. I needed somewhere to live. He was away on a football tour and a mutual friend was like, you can rent this guy's house for four weeks till he comes back.
Brilliant.
Then I was like, I could set up a new house by the time he gets back. Moved into his place. He started to sguide me periodically to just make sure I know where everything is in the house.
Like I've never met him, so he's like, Hey, I'm not gonna say name.
Hey mcie and Brad, like, I hope, make yourself comfortable.
What's you know? What's mine?
Jewels in the house and there's a really good cafe down the corner. And he was just being a gentleman, and I had zero attraction to him. He's a big flanker that looks like he's been hit in the face a hundred times because he has been what's a flanker It's a position in rugby, okay, right, yeah, but it's like they're the big boys that get like they take a lot of hits.
Anyway, there was just no physical attraction. But I was only talking to him on sky.
Because I was like, oh, you've got anyway, he periodically started to skype me more frequently over the month. Then he came back and I was supposed to leave, and I could tell.
You how to crush on me, figured out how to use the toilet. You needs to stop texting me. I've got to know where the pantry is. So then I get back.
He gets back and he's like, do you know what, you don't actually have to leave, Like, there's two bedrooms here, you can do you want to just like live together for a while. And I was like, in my bed, no, because it's too bad. So I was like, okay, cool, and we became really good friends. Still no physical attraction, but we started to hang out as friends.
We go to the gym, we went to coffees, we were watching TV and movies.
And after about two months, I was so attracted to him all of a sudden because he was so funny and he was such a good person. He looked after me really well. I would come out in the morning, my coffee would be made, how I wanted.
All this stuff.
And we ended up dating for you know, on and off for about six months because I went from zero to one hundred with him because of his personality and it was a slow burn. So I don't think to answer this girl's question, I don't think it has to be day one, this intense, all consuming feeling for it to be successful.
I agree.
And I also think that sometimes, and I've said this before, when you meet someone and on day one you had that overwhelming or consuming sense of like, oh my god, this is my soulmate read flag red flag, like it shouldn't be that intense.
I think that can be. Look, it can be.
There are times and chemistry can be very very misleading, and chemistry can also be the thing that completely clouds your judgment and your ability to make sensible decisions. So you meet someone, you have this overwhelming sense of like, oh my god, I am in love with them, and then they start showing you the red flags. But because you're so busy, you being absolutely blindsided by this feeling of obsessiveness with them, you're not open to the red flag.
So I think that that can be just as dangerous. I do want to say that I think it depends on how you've met the person. So if you've met the person on online dating, you've gone had a coffee, had your first date, and you felt zero spark zero nothingness, then I don't see the point in pursuing that in
the hope that something's going to develop. Very different if you fall in love with your friend because over the years or over the months, or you know someone who you work with because you've gotten to know their personality, I don't think you should be investing time in something with the total stranger and going out of your way in the hopes that something will grow. The last part of your question, where you said what's more important is
it instant chemistry or a deep connection? I don't think you get a deep connection with someone who you don't know and you haven't met yet.
A deep connection is.
Built on shared mutual experiences. A deep connection is built on trust. It's built on actually knowing that person for who they are, their values, their beliefs, if they're a good guy, you know, if they treat you right, or a good girl, like all of those things. So I think, obviously a deep connection is way more important. It is the most important part of a relationship. It's the foundations for staying and being in that relationship, even in the
times when they do your freaking head in. But you don't get there instantly and I do not confuse chemistry with a deep connection because they are very very different things.
It'd be a whole package. It can't just be one or the other. I think it's a holistic view when it comes to dating, when it comes to your man or young woman, it is a holistic view.
It is holistic, y'all.
Question number three, I reckon. We've answered that to the best of our abilities. So I'm gonna hit you with question number three. Brit I Ca'm ready. I feel weird been on this end when you ask me the.
Question it's a sexy question. Well, sex is happening, but the big O isn't happening. Okay, So I'm just gonna add lib this one because I read it earlier and then I couldn't find where our this person had written it in to actually read you it verbatim. But this listener has said, I know I can have an orgasm. I masturbate, I have orgasms. I've had orgasms with my ex boyfriends. I've had orgasms with one night stance.
My boyfriend who I have now, who I've been with for eight months, has never given me an orgasm. And to be perfectly honest, sex is just not that great. But I really love him. He's a wonderful guy. We have so much in common. I don't want to break up with him.
But what do I do?
Because I would really like to have an orgasm? Yeah, this is a proper people, I get straight up. I have a sneaky suspicion. You are probably I could be wrong. Correct me if I'm wrong.
I have sneaky suspicion.
You are probably faking your orgasms when you have sex with him, which is your first and biggest problem. Because if you're doing that, if you're faking an orgasm and faking how much pleasure you're getting, how much you like something, we're trained to think that, oh, okay, this is this is how she likes it, this is what gets her off.
Oh yeah, you're reinforcing bad behavior one hundred percent, like you're your own worst enemy.
You just need to be I think that's the first thing, is to stop faking it and maybe start to take a different approach where you're a bit more honest. You don't have to be you don't have to be blunt and brutal and rude, but you can be like I just don't think that's gonna happen for me like this, I don't think it's gona happen for me tonight.
I don't think it's gonna happen. Let's try this.
You can start to introduce different positions or different things you like, Like you have said that you know what gets you off, you've spoken about that, you know you've done it in the past with other partners, you do it with yourself, So why not just show him? Why not talk about it and educate him because he's not going to know. Men aren't mind readers. We want them to be, and we wish they would be, but they're not.
They've learned behaviors, so he's learning what works for you when really it's not working.
But also he may have dated someone before you who enjoyed that, who said like this is what I like. Or maybe he's been watching loads of porn and that's what he thinks the chick wants, Like there's a lot of reasons why a guy does or maybe he's just doing it because it gets him off, Like maybe he jackhammers you because jack hammering is the way that he comes and he's not actually prioritizing your pleasure at all. Like there's loads of different things to unpack here. But
I agree with you, Britt. I think the number one thing is physically show him and don't be afraid to verbalize whilst you're in the bedroom what you like and what you don't like. Obviously you're not going to be like cold.
Not it wama, but.
Like what you would do is like I like it when you touch me here, I like it when you do this, hey baby, try this, Like you can be very encouraging in a very sexy way whilst you're having sex, and exactly what Britt said. If he has been doing things which you have been giving him the impression that you like it, there's a bit of work that you have to undo there. And actually maybe you will have to say like, oh I failed it for not.
That's what not to say.
Maybe say like you know actually for some like you know, I feel a bit uncomfortable when you do this, or like that hurts a little bit. Can you try this and try something different? I really think that like very open communication. Also physically showing him you've said that, like you masturbate and you can get yourself off if you know what you like and you can physically do it to yourself and show him.
Go for it.
Do not be afraid of showing him physically on yourself with either your hands or his hands, or all the hands, whatever suits you like. Show him what gets you off.
The fact that you love him and you've said, is such an amazing guy to you in every other way, and you don't want this to be a problem, but ultimately it is a problem because sexy is a crucial part of any relationship. Making love and having that intimacy is very very important, and if it's lacking, it will slowly grind away until it becomes a really big issue. So what you have to do is getting there and attack it now. You can't let it go any longer.
And it doesn't have to be a big deal. I think you just really sit down and have the conversation say but don't make it a big deal like sorry, don't sit down and have a conversation like we need to meet about this. I was gonna say, do you really. I don't think you sit down and talk about it outside of the I think you know it's in the bedroom. It's not like instructional in a way where you're like, try this. You do it with your dirty talk like you're almost like you have to like explain it to
him whilst you're talking in a very sexy way. If you know the position that that does it for you, do it, throw him down, jump on top, do whatever it is, and just take control of the situation like you are ultimately in control.
By different things.
You know, if you know what gets you off, do what gets you off, show him what that is so that he can, you know, see you do it, and then kind of copy and makes life a lot easier. And trust me, you'll be grateful for it when you're getting a few big ohs in there as well.
Guys, that is it for today. That's how quick, down and very dirty.
Three questions. We hope you like them. Please, we want your questions to keep rolling in.
We do get a lot of you right in saying where do I actually send my ask guncut questions? The best place for you to send them is just to our instagram at Life Uncut podcast. Put at the beginning ask guncut, and then at the bottom as well, ask guncut. So that it doesn't matter how long your messages are. It might be three messages individually, we can differentiate.
That is a question for ask guncut for like, for.
Every single person who sends us their questions, like we know that you know, everybody is going through their own junkin life, and I hope that even just by listening to other people's questions that they're asking and listening to the answers that kind of are shared on this podcast and also across the Facebook community, which is amazing Life on Cut podcast as well, I really hope that you get a little bit of comfort that every single person
is experiencing, like the different highs and lows of life, and like we all go through all of this junk at different points in our lives. And if you're ever feeling like there is something that you need to talk about or you want to reach out about, the Facebook community itself is such a wonderful community of supportive people who can also answer questions as well if you want to throw them.
Up there and don't mind them not being anonymous. But anyway, guys, that is it for our Ask on Cut episode. We will be back next Tuesday and we have a really exciting episode for you next Tuesday. We are interviewing another sexologist, So if you have any really sexy questions that maybe Britain I can't answer because it'll end up in the daily mail. If you want to talk about but stuff,
whatever you want, nothing is off limits. So send us all your sexy questions for the sexologists that we're going to be interviewing, and we will be back next Tuesday, and say just some housekeeping because I know I'm the one that reads them. Please put for sexologists at the top of your message so I know that that's what that is about.
But you will stay anonymous.
We're never gonna out you, but we want your deepest, darkest, sexiest questions for her because there is absolutely nothing off limits and I'm so excited.
I love those episodes. All right, guys, now you know the drill. Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your friend, telling whoever it is in your life that's, you know, in the closest vicinity to you.
And she had love because we love that