Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and today is our second episode of the week. It is our quick, down and dirty episode where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions.
We're actually doing something a little bit different today, and how do you feel, Laura, because we've gone rogue.
We are doing the.
Podcast on my lounge. I have this really, really big lounge. We're sitting like a meter and a half away from each other. Our legs are curled up on the lounge. We've got cushions everywhere. We've never done it like this before. We're usually like crammed into a little table and I'm on your bed amongst all of your clothes.
You're making this sound a lot boogier than what it is. Guys. We're still budget. Nothing has changed. We're still not making enough money from this podcast. We're going to keep on doing it exactly how we've done it the whole time, which is a mad dash to the finish line. I'll stay up to midnight and probably edit this and then complain a few times to Brandy about it.
I'm out there hustle and trying to wrangle some money. If you guys are listening, you want to sponsor the podcast slide on it.
Oh wow, I got despert real quick, didn't it.
Now I'm dying to know. Laura. You just told me that something funny happened to you today, but you won't tell me what.
Because you want to do it live on the pod like this. Okay, this is what we do. Whenever something interesting happens in our life. We don't actually tell each other until we sit down with a microphone in the hand. I don't know if it's funny, it's traumatic. Today I had to go into the city to go and run into one of our jewelers who works with us. And I ran in and I was like, I'll just park an angel place, Like, there's a car park there that
I know. It's a Wilson car park. It's multi level car park right in the city, and anyone knows, like just driving into city that in and of itself is like a stressful ordeal. So I parked the car and I parked on the lowest level of the car park. So I got out, I went and did my thing, and then I came back and I was waiting for the lift and I got into lyft. This is a long story.
I'm here for her though.
Then I got out and I got out at the wrong level, so I was like in the car park, but I was at the wrong level. I was at like basement two and I was actually meant to be at basement seven. So I'm like, oh, I'll just go down the fire escape. So I opened the fire escape and the door shuts and I walked down a level and I was like, I'll just try this door. None of the doors worked, none of that.
Oh my god.
I was trapped in.
Pregnant woman waddling up and down like eight flights of stairs.
Anyway, Eventually I figured out what level. There was one level that had an emergency phone on it, and I was like calling. The guy finally picks up after twenty minutes and he's like hello, and I was like, I'm stuck in your fire exit. Thank god there was an emergency phone. I was gonna be on the news, this pregnant woman died in a fire. Is I buck twice?
If you're in Milwaukee, hang on my concern here, Okay, no, not my main concern. My main concern is your welfare. I'm glad you're Okay, no, let's like break this down for a second. This is a fire escape. The whole purpose is you're supposed to be using it to escape a fire.
Okay. So the issue was is that I walked down to the bottom level and I was like, cause that's where my cart was, and I was like, okay, I can't get out of here. So then I walked back up as far as I could before I ran out, So I didn't three stairs. I didn't quite make it to the very top level, which was like eight flights of stairs, but everyone knows that like a car park stairwell, it's really two flights to one flight, so we're talking like sixteen flights of stairs here. So I didn't quite
make it to the top level. And then I was like, well, maybe i'll just sit here for a while and see what happens. That was a bad idea. Nothing happens, So then I started walking with no one else is using the fire well. So then I walked up further, eventually found the phone, and the guy on the phone was like, you just need to keep walking up and then eventually you'll hit the street and the street exit you can exit from. And I was like Okay, thanks for that power.
But if just in case, you don't hear from me, I'm either still trapped to the stairwell or made it out alive, like one of the two. This is wrong on so many levels. You know, there was no signs either. There wasn't a sign that said, hey, if you're stuck in the stairwell, please proceed to the very top level and you can get out on Pitt Street Mall.
You should have said that I'm gonna write a letter.
Can we turn into that angry pregnant woan who writes letters now?
Well, I mean, I feel like this that you just called it out to all of Australia is more powerful than your letter. But you write that letter.
Also, I want to point out, guys, I know that a lot of you listened to the episode the other week where I said that I saw zac Efron in Bondai, and I just want to reiterate that it fucking was zac Efron because every single media outlet has now reported on it. Apparently he's moved to Dover Heights And for a while there I was like really second guessing myself. I was like, did I make that up? Did I like fantasize him into ex Is he really in bond?
I did not tell me that you were having second doubts. You were like, yeah, babes, I saw him, and then your internal monologue like, oh.
Was it him? I said, it was such confidence. But anyway, he's actually here, and I feel really privileged that our little life on cut community were the very first people to know.
I said to Laura. Once she said that and we hung up our microphones for the night, I said, you realize what you've just done. I was like, no one knows Zack's here. You have just outed him. He's here trying to go low key under the radar, and you just outed him. And all of a sudden, the next day, literally the next day, it was in every news article, every media outlet. There were papped photos. The poor guy got one secret day and then you fucked it up.
Would you imagine being zach Efron and some shitty d list reality TV stuff ups it up for you.
Laura's like, I'm going to teach you for turning your back on me. No one turns your back on me.
Oh guys, you know that this is our very quick episode for the week, and what we do is we answer the questions that you have been writing in for the week. So we have three questions that we're going to answer for today's episode, and we're going to jump straight into them because it's currently six thirty and we need to get this episode done before the Bachelorette starts tonight.
Hell's yeah, we do. I've been with my current partner for almost four years, and recently I was talking with friends about how we met, and I told them that I asked him before we had sex for the very first time if he had recently had an STD check and if he was clean. The looks they gave me and the questions they asked me made me feel really ashamed, and I began to question my choices. What are your guys thoughts on asking someone about STD checks prior to
sleeping with someone? Is this normal? Am I that weird? Because I won't sleep with someone without knowing if they're clean.
Why do your friends think this is so weird? That's what I want to know. It depends on what kind of relationship you're having, I think, Like I mean, obviously, if it's a one night stand or something and you just there for hangs and bangs, protect yourself, you may not get an honest answer anyway. So like you can ask the question, they're gonna say, yes, Yeah, you can ask the question. I'm not going to put my money
on that that answer might be true. So I think that you in and of yourself need to take whatever precautions you can. But if you guys, have been on a few dates and you're taking it slow, and you know you've kind of hit the five date mark and you're gearing up for sexy times, and I don't think that there's anything wrong with asking someone if they've had an SDD check. I actually kind of encourage it.
Oh, I think you definitely should. I have a girlfriend, a really good girlfriend who's a babe and like everyone wants to sleep with her, but she has never and will never and she only just told me this last week. She has never and will never sleep with anyone without them proving they've got they've had an s C check. She gets, they email her the results, she has to have it in a hard copy. She actually does it.
She yeah, she actually does it. She's not shy about it either, and she's I mean, if the off chances she's had a one night stand in her life, which she says she doesn't really like to do anyway.
She's like, I do imagine about you're about to have one night stand. You're like, I'm really sorry, we can't do this until you go to the doctors. And then that's like the most prolonged white one night stand ever. He then goes to the doctors. Three days later he emails you. Then you're like, cool, let's resume where were you, Oh doggie star, Let's go.
Well, this only works for her because A she doesn't do one night stands because for sex, for her, she wants to have some sort of connection to them. And that's so fine, Like I totally get that. B guys want to sleep with her enough that they're gonna go
and do it. They're gonna go and get the test and show, and then she's like free for all because she doesn't want personally, this girl doesn't want to use condoms when she has sex, so she wants to know that she's got a connection with them and that they're clean and healthy. And I think, you know what, if that works for you, go for it. That is not gonna work for everyone. Unfortunately, I think she's a bit
of a league of her own there. I think, like Laura said, if you're gonna have a one night stand, use protection. Obviously, of course you can ask them. I ask for sure, but I think I ask for my own peace of mind because they're not going to say, oh, yes, I have her bees Like they're not gonna say it. Are they. A guy that's about to sleep with someone, I don't think he's gonna be honest. So that's something you need to keep in the back of your mind.
Well, I think there are some guys that are really honest, like I genuinely do think. I mean, I know that I've been in a situation before where I was very close to having sex with someone and they were very honest about what STIs they had, and that kind of you know, slowed things down tremendously. You know, we actually ended up dating for a really long time. It's not that I think there's a lot of stigma around STIs
that there doesn't need to be. And we've talked about this before, especially when we did the Sex Education podcast with Juliet Allen. There's so much stigma around sti's and we treat them as though like they're this really frightening thing to catch and I don't think that they majority of them are as frightening as what we meet them out to be. However, do you want to catch something?
No?
Should you protect yourself? Absolutely? And so for you at the time, it felt normal and comfortable in your relationship to ask and make sure that they've had an STI check. I think that that's totally normal, and I think that there are a whole lot of women out there who would be asking before having sex. Hey, when was the last time you got checked? I asked, Matt. Good thing is when you do The Bachelor, you kind of have to.
That's actually one one of the things that you have to prove that you've had done before you can go on the show. You have to go and get an STI check.
Yeah, it's a prerequisite you have. You do have to prove everyone sexually healthy.
Yeah, there's a full they give you, like a full health and body checkover. I don't know what a body checkover sort.
Of check over to may give you. I don't get a.
Like, ma'am, take off all of your clothes. No, so you have to do a full health check. I mean, I don't know what the rules are these days, but one of the health checks. Was that you have to get tested for a whole lot of different STIs.
Yeah, you get you get your boods done and they do the works.
Yeah. So look, I think it's a totally normal thing to ask. I don't think that your friends should be making you feel weird for it. Maybe they should be asking more often. But also I recommend that everyone goes after each sexual partner. You go and you get yourself checked because you just don't know otherwise. And we have a real responsibility to be responsible when it comes to our own health and also our sexual partners.
Responsibility to be responsible. That is true.
Like what you did there, Okay, question number two, I feel like we got that. Yeah.
I just want to reiterate that what Laura said is absolutely true. It's not the end of the world if you get an STI or if someone has an STI. They're not all really, really nasty. There are some nasty ones.
A lot of them can be treated. But having said that, it is important that you go and get checked after you have had any new sexual encounters because whilst some of them can be quite harmless, if left untreated for a prolonged period of time, that's when they can get dangerous, so like, sure you've done it, you're like, whoops, shouldn't have done that? Just go and get checked anyway, it's not gonna hurt. Just so this person that wrote in
knows there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Don't let your friends make you feel embarrassed because you ask people about their sexual health. If anything, your friends need.
To be doing it alrighty question number two.
Question two. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly three years. He's the most amazing guy. He treats me exactly how I want to be treated, and he's my absolute best friend. But the last few months, to be honest, nearly coming up to probably a year, our sex life has been really, really grim. I am never in the mood, and on the off chance that I am, he's not. Am I just being lazy. I feel like we've been
together for such a long time. I guess it's now normal to go without sex for two weeks, But I can't help but wonder if it's normal for someone to have a high sex drive in a past relationship and in our first year to then go to happily going without sex for weeks at a time. He's the most amazing guy. I would be crazier to let him go, but something just doesn't seem right. Is it me? Is it him? Do I have a low sex drive? And is it break up worthy?
Help? Dun dunt h. I actually love this question because I think that so many people, especially in long term relationships, go through these like ebbs and flows in how often they're having sex, and then when you're not having sex quote unquote like enough or compared to what you think other people having sex, you then feel like, oh, there's something wrong with me. Even if you are completely satisfied, even if you and your partner are completely satisfied, there
is still this comparison that exists. And I know loads of women who are in very long term relationships who are not getting down and dirty three times a week like they used to. They're having sex once a fortnite and they are completely satisfied. They're completely happy with that. Their partners are also completely satisfied, and therefore it is not a problem. It's only a problem if it's a
problem for you. So if you feel like you're not having sex enough, if you are wanting it and your needs are not being met, then it becomes a problem, but I think you know, everybody is different and there are times in life where you go through these ebbs and flows of libido where your libido will be higher or lower. Brittany's looking at me like, no, this is a fucking problem, and I'm like, happy, you haven't been in a longer term term relationship for a really long
time and I don't need reminding of that. And I was like, and don't tell me once a fortnite is not enough, because right now that's all I can do.
Laura. Laura goes to me like, we just sat down to do the questions, and Laura said, what do you think about the that you know once sex every two weeks in a long term relationship? And I was like, I just want you to think about what you just asked me. I was like, I mean, like, I haven't been in the experience for a long time. I haven't been in the position for a long time, but I do still have some thoughts on it. Look, you are asking. The fact that you're saying is this breakup worthy means
in your mind it is a problem. You aren't happy with it. Whilst you said you've got a low sex drive, you're still highlighting the fact that it's an issue for you. It's playing on your mind and you're like, well, is this the end? Do I need to leave and find someone new? No, I don't think you do yet. Things like this do happen in relationships, especially long term relationships. You just get super comfortable with each other. And guys, I have been in relationships for a total of ten years,
just not for ten years, so I know. But it's sexy's going to die down. And there's a multitude of reasons for that. Stress, fatigue, long distance contraceptions, sometimes different medications you take. There is there are so many reasons that you could be having all these sex drive. If it's a continual problem, you can go to your doctor, you can go to a GP and you can literally say, hey, you got all those sex drive. There's things that they can help you with. There's things they can suggest you
can work on as a couple. That's definitely a route you can take, So don't be shy on doing that. So many people do that. It's just that not a lot of people speak about the fact that they do it. But that's why we're here.
And I also think, like I genuinely believe the more that you have it, the more that you want it. If I go X amount of time without sex, it's the last thing I'm thinking about. But if you get into a routine where you're having sex more often and then you're turned on more often, and then of course you're gonna want it more. So I do definitely think that the more that you do it, the more that
you want it. So, no, it's not lazy, but maybe sometimes you need to try and do something a little bit different in order to kickstart that fire again, because it's not just gonna come and bite you in the ass out of know. Well, maybe he will come and bite you in the ass.
Maybe that's what you need.
I don't think it's just gonna like reignite. I don't think your sex drive is just gonna reappear. You do have to try something different in all to try and kind of like kickstart that libido. However, I did some research into this. I love that, guys, And by research, I mean I googled, so MoMA me A actually put out a study. They just survey of a thousand women, which doesn't sound like that many women, But I don't
know a thousand women myself. To ask, so I'm like, Okay, yeah, this is a reasonable survey.
Do we have any research from reliable journical perioviod articles or just go with Mama mea, just kind of go with this is why I do the research.
No, but this is like, this is still a thousand women will ask how often are you having sex? And everybody said unanimously that they think you should be having sex three times a week, And I'm like, three times a week sounds exhausting. Guys like, I mean, I'm pregnant and really tired, but that's all like a lot for me right now. So I've I felt like far more
reassured by these answers and Okay. The most common answer was once a week, with two hundred and seventy nine women saying once a week, followed by twice a week with one hundred and ninety four women saying they have sex twice a week. Once a fortnight was the third most popular answer with a undred and sixty year women, and once a month with one hundred and fifty seven women.
Literally it came in fifth place those are having sex three times a week, and they were mostly people who early on in their relationships and people who had been in long term relationships were having sex once a week.
So this is them saying what they're actually doing at this current time, or what they think should be happening at that point.
This is what they're actually doing. What they think they should be doing is having sex three times a week, but what they're actually doing is having sex once a week to one's fortnite. Right. I'm not saying that it's great. I'm not saying that that's enough. I'm saying that everyone
has different wants and needs. But if you are satisfied personally with having sex once a fortnite and it doesn't actually upset you, it's just that you think you're supposed to be having sex more and the thought of that is where that inconsistency lies, then don't stress so much. It's only a number. You can work on it. It's not something that you need to break up with your boyfriend over.
Agree. Also, you need to talk to your boyfriend about it. You didn't mention if you have done that yet. If you haven't open communication all, tell him, well, ask him what do you think about how often we're having sex? What do you think about our sex life? Does it worry? Do you want it more? Is it me that's not wanting it? What do you think we can do to change it? Have the conversation. Because you're in a long term relationship, you obviously love and trust each other. These
are the conversations you should be having. Laura is about to burst into laughter. What are you laughing?
I'm laughing because like the other day, I was with Matt and I were going for a walk and we were like, I was like, gosh, it's so amazing. Like we've been together for you know, only for like three and a half years, and like we're going to have two children, and like, you know, we live in a nice place together, and like we've just accomplished so much. And he goes, yeah, we've had sex like six times.
That's touche, but also like true, it's actually true.
No, okay, Like, look, I know I make jokes about this guys when I'm not pregnant and feeling like the size of a house. Some it's so funny because during my first pregnancy, I was like, I am a beautiful goddess, Like I've felt so sexy, and we were like and that had a full on pregnancy fetish. We were going at it like more during my last pregnancy than what we did when we first met. And this time I feel disgusting, Like this pregnancy is so different to the
last one. I feel hideous. Yeah, my sex drive does not exist this time, and it's completely different.
And Laura knows. I always tell the truth. I look at Laura and I'm like, you are so beautiful. You look so good pregnant, Like I wish you could see how other people see you. I know that you feel gross because you feel sick and you feel like you're gonna vomit, and you just feel like you're the size of the house. But that is not what other people see. I promise you.
Has anyone seen the meme or like, go and google this when you finished listening to this episode. Okay, there's this like video that's on YouTube and it's these two little Scottish girls and they're trying to like video record a makeup tutorial and their mom comes in and she's like, disgusting, which one of your fucking was? It is disgusted that I hadn't flushed the toilet. That is how I feel.
That is why I call myself and I know that's really bad, But every time, every time, Matt's trying to me, I'm like, I'm disgusted. Now. Every time you hear the word disgusting, that is what you guys will think of it. I was like, so rad, that was a long way to get there.
But when you were like that's how I feel, I was like, hang on, you feel disgusting or you feel like a tird legend a toilet. I was like, which one is it. I don't know if we answered that for you, No, I think we did, alright.
Question three, Hey, guys, have a question.
You touched on it a bit through the Single Pringle episode, which was amazing, and it's genuinely about where and how to meet single guys these days. I'm twenty eight, I've been single for just over a year now. I appreciate that COVID threw everyone off, but I know, aside from COVID, it's so rare for me to meet men these days. I'm not one for super late night clubbing and big nights out. I've done that, been there, and now I'm just over it. I've always felt I've never met great
guys that way anyhow. Now most of my friends are moving into relationships down and a lot of them have actually met people through dating apps. The apps just haven't worked for me. I have lots of girlfriends that are tinderellers, but it's just not for me. I don't work with any men my age, and even places like the gym or restaurants is becoming so rare that genuine guys will just come and talk to me. Honestly, where the fuck are they?
Brandy? This is your domain.
The reason I wanted to answer this is because I genuinely don't know. I want to be really honest with this. I haven't met I've met one guy actually in the wild in the last probably six months. You know the dog guy that I dated.
Oh yeah, the dog guy literally met a guy on met she met Bondai dog guy.
Yeah. Oh, people gotta know who that is. Yeah, this guy that was walking up the promenade and he had this really cute dog and he was super hot too, and I was just like, you know what, yolo, and I just started talking to him. The dog was a good way, and I started to pat the dog and play with a dog.
I'm going to jump in on this story and highjacket for a second. Brand So Britta had met this guy dog like dog guy dog Bondai guy patted his dog she'd left. She'd then found him on Instagram, But like serendipitously found him on Instagram, she didn't go crazy stalk mode. No, you count him?
Can I know? I'm jumping in ut Guys, this was crazy. I met this guy and I started talking to him, and then when he walked off, I was with my sister and a friend and we were like, that guy was so hot. Why didn't any of us ask for his name or anything about him? Anyway? I had put out to the universe. I was like, I need to know who that guy is. That's what I said when I got home from my walk and opened up my phone.
I'm not kidding. I follow this account, and if you don't follow the account on Instagram, you need to follow it. Hot dudes with dogs. It's literally photos from all around the world of hot guys and their dogs. And I am not kidding. This is literally half an hour after I met this guy and said to the universe, I need to know who that guy is, he popped up on my screen with his dog and I was like, you're kidding me.
So this is where I come into the story. So it comes over to my house after she had just mortifyingly embarrassed me in front of my ex boyfriend, which.
Hang on, I didn't know I was embarrassing you.
I've told you guys that story before, if you if you can remember it for anyone who's an OG listener, it's the whole park Hall story where Britt was like running around purposely in front of my ex boyfriend down in Bono Beach. Anyway, long story short, she had done that, and then she's telling me this story about this dog guy that she now knows who he is. She's found his Instagram and everything, but like obviously she's like how
do I how do I message him? Or like he probably won't even know who I am or the fact that we met. So I was like, hey, just show me your phone for a second, and then I liked about fifteen photos of him without a shirt.
Yeah from nineteen eighty seven, Yeah, from nineteen eighty seven. She scrolled back, she scrolled deep, and I was I was mortified. And then you can't like he would have got the notifications they did because then he slid into her DMS like five minutes later.
So really I was the one who set them up. So as much as I'm that friend you don't want to have, secretly you're happy that I'm there.
And then do you remember the funny thing that happened after that? We'll just keep going with this story. We have not answered this question. This funny, this was I reckon. This was one of the funniest moment that Laura, Matt and I have ever had. We were in hysterics. The three of us are sitting on the lounge. They've just hijacked my phone. I think Matt had even commented on
one of his photos from like five years ago. I was like, you're a bastard anyway, give me my phone back, and then we're so I snatched my phone back and I'm like, I was mortified. I was like, you got your assholes, You've gone, you know, you've ruined everything that we've met, this really hot guy, like you're so fucking hot, look at him, and now you've gone liked photos from five years ago. How am I ever going to recover
from this? And then I looked down at my phone and I had no Then the girls were like no that I had said.
I was like, babe, just send them a photo of your badge. It'll be fine. This whole conversation played out whilst Brittany didn't realize.
But she was voice recording it the whole almost it was ready to pressent and my thing, you know, when you can't take your finger off the button. I was like, oh my god, how do I How do I swipe this down to delete? If I let it? I had this panic mode. I had to keep my thumb on the phone for like an hour because I was like, I don't know how to delete this voice.
Just put your phone on aeroplane motor, then throw it in the ocean. Panic anyway, Hey, so that didn't answer your question. The question is is that Brittany has no fucking idea where to beat men.
No, But the point of this was was, Look, you can meet people in the wild if you are open to it and putting yourself out there. Unfortunately, they're not going to walk into your lund room. I know you said you're going to the gym and no one's talking to you. But you have to just keep doing things. You have to just keep meeting new people you're meeting because you might make a new friend and they might
have a friend. It's just networking. Getting out there going for drinks with different kinds of people in different crowds, in different locations. If you keep going to the same location with the same two people once a fortnight, probably not gonna happen for you.
I also think something that's really important is, like you have to be proactive, you have to flirt, you have to go up and speak to people in the wild. And I know that that can be really intimidating. I know that it's kind of a change in how things are normally done. But there is a lot of success that comes from being the person to make the first move, because guys are just as timid. Guys are just as
scared of rejection as what girls are. And I think because of online platforms, it's made people even more fearful of doing things in the real world. So when you say, like you go to the gym and no guy comes up to you, Like, I could not tell you one time a guy has ever come up to me at the gym ever, Like have I approached guys at the gym? Yes, yes, I have. It worked out. Okay, she's a very short period of time.
She's like, do you need a spot?
Literally, I was like, hey, can you show me how to do that arm exercise with your big, massive biceps. I do think it's important as women that we mastered the art of flirting and that we do feel confident enough to be able to go out and get what we want. And we say this all the time, but
I'm gonna say it again. This it's so important because if you're not the one who's cho a guy and choosing the type of person that you want to date, then you're only being left with what's being offered to you, and more often than not, that's not going to be something that you're interested in. So like, have that confidence to go and make the first move. And I know, brit you're a massive advocate for it, like you have no shame in going up to guys and talking about but it works.
But the thing is, the life really changed from me in so many ways when I stopped caring a what people think and what people thought if I went and approach them, and b if you don't actually care about the outcome. So if you don't look put this pressure on yourself and don't overthink it. Don't look at them from across the room and be like, what if he says no? What if he throws a drink in my face? What if you can't even think that because if he says no, there's so many other people in the world.
And so it's like, for example, this guy that I saw on the promenade, and in my mind, I was like, that guy's so much hotter than me. But then I was like, I don't care because I've got nothing to lose. I ended up dating this guy for a couple of weeks. Like we forgot to tell that part of the story. We ended up like becoming friends. I read into him the other day. Long I didn't tell you for that as well.
I feel like I had a real like I played a real role in that relationship in that three week relationship.
Look, it was probably closer to force the longest one I've had. But you just have to have this confidence and self assurance in yourself to know that it's not the end of the world if it doesn't go well and you don't go and get married. But also I can guarantee you if you go up and speak to a guy, give him a compliment, hit on him, show interest, he's gonna be impressed. He's going like it doesn't happen often. So if you do, go and approach him and give
him a compliment. He's gonna be tofed. Regardless of how it ends. You're gonna make his day. You'll feel better in yourself. And the more you do it, the more comfortable you will be doing it. And I personally, all my male friends, all the people I've ever dated, everyone has always said I would never have approached you. I would have never started that conversation. We're in the here
because you came and started the conversation. Because guys, unfortunately in this day and age, aren't as proactive anymore, for a multitude of reasons. They're being babied by their mummies. We've got online dating, they don't have to work that hard. They lack confidence, especially when you're in a group of women. And this is another tip. If you're in a big group of women out with all your friends, the guy's not going to come and approach you. He's definitely not
going to approach you. He may come and approach you when there's two of you. And I know this because I have asked so many men and they just they it's too intimidating. It's too intimidating for a guy to come up to a girl when there's ten other girls there in case he gets rejected, he one hundred percent has a greater fear of rejection than you do.
I totally totally agree. I do think you know, if you're really really wanting to meet new people. Of course, like we say all the time, you could always do and you do new things, like you know, start a new sport, join up to new clubs, like you do. Have to change something about your normal day to day to be able to open your network up to new people.
And also, like your relationships or when you meet new people, it doesn't come from your friends, right, Like it's not going to come from like your best friend or the people that you move in a circle with every day, because those people you've already met their friends, you already
know their network. It comes from like your loose ties, so it comes from your friend's friend, or it comes from the work colleague, or it comes from those people that are in your circle who you know and you're friends with, but who you don't know their extended circle. So you do have to start doing things with people.
And I know that that can sometimes be a bit of a pain in the ass because we all have very limited time, but start expanding your friendship circle a little bit and start looking for those loose ties and those loose connections, because that's where you're going to meet new people.
Also, I know dating apps can be exhausting. I know they can be hard work, and you can go through your lows with them and you just hate them, we delete them. But I think it's really important not to give up on them because the fact of the matter is now, I would love to actually know the odds, but I don't know any single person that's not online dating. Like it's just mainstream. It is the normal way to meet people now, whether we like that or not.
Do I like it?
No? I detest it. Am I on them? Yes, because that is where everyone I've seen I told you guys chatting, Tatum's on there. Every famous person in the world that single is on a dating app. And I know that they're different at dating apps to BONDI hinge. But the fact is, the stigma's gone with dating apps. It's what everyone does and it's how people meet. I know heaps of people that have gotten married from dating apps and had very successful stories. So don't give up.
Yeah, And I also think with dating apps The problem is is like it is so two dimensional, like you don't get you don't get a look into someone's personality, right, and so you're basically you're only one hundred percent judging it off their physical appearance in a photo. Which and I know that when you meet someone at a bar,
obviously it's based on their physical appearance as well. But I think when you meet someone in real life or you see someone in real life, there's a charisma and there's an aura that goes with that person as well, which you don't see in a photo. Can't feel that in a photo, So I think that the photos are even more two dimensional. But I do think and I agree with you, that pretty much every single person is online dating. You know, they might not be active every
single day, but most people have a profile. So we can't just blanket wash it and be like online dating sucks, I'm never going to meet anyone, it's been shit. I think you also have to open up your network and date people who aren't necessarily on paper, your exact type.
That can be a really annoying thing for people to say, because you're like, well, I'm not going to date someone who I'm not attracted to but you're not going to know if you're attracted to them or not unless you give someone a chance.
I was speaking to my friend yesterday. You know, Jackson Garlic. He was on Bachelor in Paradise with me, and he was on a.
Name dropping right now.
We're still really good friends. We chat and we were chatting and we were just telling each other about some funny because he's online as well, dating everyone is. We're talking to each other about some funny stories and he just said something that really stuck with me, and I think it was good advice, but he just said in like a throwaway comment. He's like, man, you just can't get online and swipe if you're in a bad mood. And I'm like, what do you mean. He's like, just
don't fucking do it. He's like, if you're in a bad mood, don't go onto your dating app. Because if you're in a bad mood, don't go onto your dating app because it's never going to end well. You are not going to give any banter you. Every little thing that someone does that might piss you off will piss you off. You'll be mad, they'll say the wrong thing. He's like, that is he's like that's his greatest bit of advice. If you're having a shit day, don't do it.
But also, I guess not even if they're doing something that pisss you off, or like if you just genuinely don't match with anyone or you don't see anyone on there, it's even more deflating, Like you feel even more like, oh yeah, here's the reinforcement that there's nothing online and
that I'm never going to meet anyone. Like I mean, I think it's important to have online dating as a backup and that you know, obviously there's so many success stories that come out of it, but being proactive in real life, you know, actually going approaching people, flirting, doing all the things that takes a lot of confidence to do. I think that they're all really important steps as well in meeting someone. If that's what you really want, just.
Don't give up. Well mad sick guys, you know that this is always short and sharp. We I had a lot of fun doing that. I think we definitely went rogue. We threw in some stories we didn't know we were going to tell, but hey, that's what life Uncut's about. Guys.
Thank you to every single person who's sent in a question for Ask Uncut. We get so many questions sent to us, and I just want to I just want to apologize, because it's not physically possible for us to get back to every single person. We really we do read as many of the messages as we physically can that come through our inbox, and we really do try and pick out the questions that we think are going to be most relatable to as many people as possible.
But just know that if you do have a question, or you have something that you want to put out and you really want answers to, we always have the Facebook group there as well where you can put your Ask Uncut questions up, or if you want it to be done anonymously, you can send them to us and we will post them onto the Facebook group it's Life Uncut podcast, and then you'll not only have us answer your questions, but you'll also have the wealth of an
amazing community jumping on board, being supportive and answering and giving their advice as well. So that's always another option. So yeah, keep the questions coming. We will be back next week next Tuesday for another episode of Life on Card because you literally cannot escape us now especially if you've subscribed. We're just going to keep on falling into your inbox. Tell me mum, don't you dott your friends, don't dog do your cat, and share love because we love love.