Hi, guys, Welcome back to another episode of Life one Cut. It is Thirsty Thursday.
I just made that up.
It's actually therapy Thursday, but thirsty Therapy Thursday. Also, does this mean you're gonna be dropping some half news on your Instagram?
Brit you got it?
That's my intro to only fans.
I say this, but I'm not even really joking. There's a nice mix of first traps on your Instagram from time to time.
Well, God, don't think they're first traps.
I think they are beautifully curated, divertent photos of my fashion experiences. Because I create content and I don't influence people. It's actually showing my versatility in a bikini.
Do you know what?
Actually I think I told you, I don't remember. I'm not gonna name names, but when we have to.
Byron Bay two weeks ago, you know in Byron Bay put a bikini photo up.
Wasn't even sexy.
Bikini, had denim shorts on, had a hat on, sunglasses. It was just literally like, look at me, I'm having a great time. And this one guy that I'd been talking to on and off for a long time, but literally just talking to had the audacity okay. So he called me like fifteen minutes after I put this photo up that was not even sexy. You could go back on my Instagram and have a look, you'll know the one. And I'm like, hey, it was actually a FaceTime and he's like, well, I just saw the photo you.
Put up and I was so confused.
I was like and and he's like, well, obviously that was so i'd call you so here.
I am like he thought you were first trapping him.
He actually thought it was. I was in hysterics and I was like, oh, babe.
This guy just sounds like he's super horny and like he's the kind of guy that you're nice to at a party and instantly thinks that because you're nice to him that you must want to fuck him, like he's that guy. I was like, hey, that's not a first trap. B I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you were the last thing on my mind, Like you were not on my mind when I posted that photo. I'm really sorry. And he was like, don't believe him. I'm like, whoa, you have to get out of your own butt. So
I just remember something that I can't believe. I didn't text you on the spot and tell you that happened to me last night. Do you know who I saw in Bondi Like one, I'm gonna stand by this guy's like, okay, I'm gonna describe this to you. There's this little restaurant that is on Bondi Road and this guy, he's very famous, he currently lives in Australia, was sitting facing the window. If you say zac Efron, fucking Efron, and I'm not joking, I'm okay, oh my god, Okay, So how.
Did this slip your mind?
Not to message me when I leave across the road or I called Matt like three times. So what I did was I walked in combat the man that's married to you.
He didn't care.
But so what Hammen was is I walked past and I saw this guy in the window and I was like, oh, he's good looking, and I looked at his face and I was like, holy shit, that's zac Efron. And he saw that I saw him, and he saw that I recognized him. Does that you know when you have that moment where like you see someone who's famous and you kind of like had that shocked face and then you know that they know that they're kind of sprung right.
So he was sitting with another guy and he was facing the window.
I walked past, and then I obviously like had that moment where I was like, holy shit. So then I was like, I'm just going to casually walk past again. And this is like quite late at night, so there was a dawk.
There was no one on the street.
So I walked back past again and I was like, oh, holy shit, it's one hundred percent zac Efron. And then he stands up and swaps seats with the guy who's he's sitting with, so that his back is now facing the window, which I'm like, if you're not a famous person, you're not doing that. You don't care if someone walks
past and looks at you. Yes, but the restaurant was quite busy, but the street was dead, so I think the reason why he faced the street was because there was hardly anyone on the street, and he'd obviously been in the restaurant long enough. Anyway, it was one hundred percent zach Efron. He's in BONDI all you sing the ladies get down here snare, okay. I I wish you
guys could see my face right now. I just I've just seen this belief at how it slipped your mind not to message your only single friend that literally.
Talks about Zach for a whole time.
How did that slip your mind? I feel like you're actually trying to keep me single. Speaking of thirst straps, Brittany just walks down the street in a bikini at nine pm exactly.
Taking my clothes off and now here that.
Sits off the highs and the lows. I do have another question for you. Actually, I feel.
Very sprung today. I feel like you've really dumped that on me.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry starting to add that to your to your morning.
It's too early in pre coffee. If you'd have to deal with that sort of disappointment in your life. Honestly, have you ever had an orgasm while you've been asleep and woken up to an orgasm? Okay, this is funny that you have asked me this because not because I've done it, because I've had this exact conversation with friends like four days ago. Hands down, No, it has never happened to me. But my friends that I was speaking to I'm not gonna name the names, they say it happens to them.
All the time. And I'm like, what, I thought this was a normal thing.
So don't you.
Just orgasm and you sleep, yeah, and don't have to do anything, just having like a sexy dream, have an orgasm like a fourteen year old boy, and then go back to sleep. There's gonna be a weird little section of our listeners who have had this happen to them, And then there's gonna be a whole lot of people listening to this.
Thinking that we have issues.
I feel like.
Life betrayed me. I feel like, if why can't I orgasm asleep? It want to be bed without doing anything. I actually didn't know it was a thing.
I thought that was a thing for guys when they were twelve and also women when they're thirty four.
Is it just a pregnancy thing when your hormones are up? Or is this for you all the time?
Well? I mean, okay, so well this is way too much overshare, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. So I'm guessing for me, it's definitely more so during pregnancy because I think like everything is I think like everything is kind of heightened. You've got more hormones, there's more blood circulating, there's a lot of stuff going on.
I've told you all about it. You don't need me to go into detail.
So, like, this happened to me the other day, and I then obviously told my girlfriends. I was like, ah, I hadn't agasted me in my sleep the other night, thinking it was really funny, and she looked at me like I had just shat in her bed. That's exactly what it is to someone that's never done it. That's like telling them you just saw Santa.
I'm cutting up a pole.
Guys, I want to know who of you have just had a totally rogue Like I'm talking like you're not touching yourself, you're not like doing You're literally asleep and you wake up going oh oh that was all right, go back to sleep, like yes, it didn't even ever been doing me. I think that's annoyed by the whole dream, isn't it. And once again I can't wait for Daily Mail's article on this.
I mean, perfect, you threw yourself into that one. I really did.
But also I mean I think that these things are relatable. Okay, like I said, I'm going to put up a pole. I want to know what percentage of people have actually experienced.
This or not. It's anonymous, guys, no one's gonna know if you tell.
Me absolutely everything.
Everything you guys, ever write to us in relation to anything is anonymous unless you say feel.
Free to post it.
Speaking of anonymous, thank you to every single person who has written in a question for today's ask un Kat.
We have picked out a couple of doozies. You guys know.
This is our short, sharp and real sexy episode for you where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. So we have three and we're gonna get right into it all.
Right, jumping straight on in. Please help.
I'm feeling so lost. I was just dumped and I don't know what went wrong. My boyfriend of two years has just dumped me out of nowhere, and I was absolutely blindsided. We're about to move in together and had just applied for apartments. We were planning trips together. He just convinced me to join his Spotify account. I thought we were happy and in a loving and strong relationship.
We met up for a walk lass week and he suddenly told me that he couldn't move in with me, he can't imagine marrying me, and that recently he has had a gut feeling that I'm not the one. However, he also told me that he thinks I am the perfect girl, confirmed he was in love with me, and agreed we would be happy together if we got married one day. He also confirmed that he he doesn't know
what his type of girl actually is. He even agreed with me when I said that he would regret this breakup one day, and he told me that he thinks we would happily date and live together for two more years, but he knows he would eventually break up with me. I am so confused looking back. He's been a little bit withdrawn the past few weeks, calling and texting less and wanting to spend more time with his friends. We
had some small arguments about it for nothing major. I don't know how I missed any sign that the relationship was going downhill, and I don't want to make the same mistake again. What did I do wrong that pushed him away? How can I trust future partners and trust that I won't do the same thing and that they suddenly won't decide that I'm not the one tell me what I've done wrong.
It sounds like your partner has unnecessarily pushed the whole moving in together, you know, joining accounts, doing big life things that would indicate that he was really ready to make those commitments and make that move. Maybe things started to steamroll in the relationship and progress and he didn't
know how to put the brakes on it. Really, he was quite fearful of that commitment and moving the relationship to the next stage, and so instead of being able to communicate, which clearly he hasn't done, which is why you feel like this has completely blindsided you.
Because the guy clearly has the.
S most stocking communication skills in the world, he hasn't communicated with you that he's not happy with that, and so instead it's all in and then it's all out. And I think that that when that happens to you in a relationship, it makes it so much harder to deal with the fact that you're going through a breakup to actually rationalize what the fuck We were happy yesterday and you were fine yesterday, and all of a sudden,
you've changed your mind. But the thing is is that he probably has been feeling like this for a long time. He's probably been thinking this for a long time and has been too frightened to actually verbalize that, but that doesn't mean that you did something wrong. That doesn't mean that you created this. This is him and this is his issue.
I think it's really important to remember in these situations that there is such a thing as really really loving someone, being genuinely in love with someone, loving spending time with someone, but they're not the one. I've been in that situation. That's a thing. I remember being with someone he strung me along for years because he genuinely He's like, I just love being around you, I love everything about you. But then he was like, but I know you're not
the one for me. And I think that's what's happened here. I have no doubt that he loves you. I think that's really obvious.
You don't spend time with someone like this and you don't have these level of commitments.
So I think that him wanting to take the next steps in terms of moving in, he probably felt like, Okay, well, it's the next thing because I do love, you know, spending time with you. And then when pushes come to shove, and he's actually thought, hang on, if we move in together, this probably means that you're going to be my final relationship. And once he started to sit down and analyze that and realize that he doesn't think you're the one for him.
He's brought it up so sure, I think he's brought it up too late, but I think it's I don't think it's anything that you've done. I don't think you've done anything wrong. There's nothing you should be changing about yourself to suit him, and that that's the part of the question that really struck a chord with me, is where you wrapped up your question and you said, what did I do wrong? What mistakes did I make? I don't want to make these mistakes again. The thing is,
you haven't done anything wrong. It's literally coming down to two souls that love each other, but they're not meant to be. You can't go changing yourself drastically for a relationship, fixing things that aren't wrong with you, because it doesn't suit someone else to fix the relationship, because it'll never work. It'll prolong it for another year, and then ultimately you're gonna end up being your authentic self again and it's not gonna work. So I don't think there's anything wrong
with you. Absolutely isn't. It's just that you're not a perfect match for this human and that's okay.
See I'm gonna jump in here, or one thing that you said earlier and how you said that it like, you know, you can be in love with someone, you can love them, you can be with them for multiple years, but no, they're not the one.
See, I personally think that that's a really jerk move.
I think if you don't think that person's the one, you don't really want to spend your life with them, and your goals aren't aligned, and you know that your goals aren't aligned, then I think it's a conversation that respectfully, if you actually love someone, you need to have because if you're gonna if you're gonna waste someone's time for four years because you love them and you love spending time with them, but they're not the one, then.
I think you're a selfish prick. Like I'm going to put that out there.
I agree, but I'm not saying that in this sense. That's exactly what he's done.
I know.
I'm saying, I think he loves her, he's realized he's not the one. So I'm saying to this poor girl, don't think he doesn't love you because.
He said he doesn't want to marry you.
I think he's just realized you're not the one, But it doesn't mean he's not in love with you.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I get that, and I do think that there is love there, But I do, Like we talked about this, and I'm not gonna keep referring back to The Bachelor because not everything has to do with that, but I'm going to say that, you know, there are things that you do with your words and with your actions that create a whole lot more hurt
down the line. And I think when we're very reckless with the way that we use our words, we're very reckless with the things that we commit to, and then we take that back because we've changed our minds, or maybe we haven't even changed our minds. Maybe it's because we never really wanted it anyway, but we got caught up and the emotion and the love and the excitement and that feeling of you know, intensity when you're around someone.
There are people out there who aren't really in check with the way they're feeling and the things they're saying, and that's a really important thing to keep perspective on because it creates so much more hurt and this guy was obviously never at the point where he felt like he could actually move out because he would have gotten
further down that rabbit hole. But they've been having those conversations, they've been making those commitments, and so the fall for the person who's written the question in and the heartbreak is just so much greater because she feels so blindsided. And so I genuinely just want to reiterate what brit said, like,
nothing you have done is your fault. Nothing that you did created the breakup, you know, unless you know that you behaved badly in the relationship, but if you were just being you and loving someone and hoping that this relationship was going to progress, there's nothing that you can change.
And unfortunately, you just have to take time, block this guy for a little while, go no contact, heal, and and then there has to be some part of you that learns to trust again in order for you to be able to have that relationship that will be your happy ending.
That was really long.
I think we got that in the bag.
I do feel for it, but it fucking sucks.
But this is one of those ones where you have to let it go and you have to just start to heal yourself and accept that as hard as it is, this one's not for you and this guy's not your penguin.
But also, don't you think it's such a cop out when you're going through a breakup and a guy goes, I know I'm going to regret this in three months. You're like, oh, like, yes you are, but don't say that to me. So I sit around waiting for three months for you to come back to me.
I just hate it. All this brings up some for pressed trauma. She just gets so aggressive question them and two hear me.
This is a really hard one, actually, but I wanted to address it. I didn't want to scoot around the fact that it's hard to answer, just because it's hard to answer.
Because I think a lot.
Of women and a lot of young girls would be in this situation and don't know what to do about it.
And that's that's why we hear Laura to help you all out.
We're gonna get you with the hard hitting questions skills.
I don't know what accent that was.
I don't want to get you're fired.
I recently got a very casual cash job. A friend of mine recommended me for this job.
Because he knows the boss. I was desperate for this job because I'm a UNI student and the pay and hours.
Are quite good.
So I called the boss, got the job, and the only people that work for this boss are my friend and myself.
Now everything was all good and wealth.
I enjoyed the work and I was quite good at it, no complaints with the work side of things. As I started working there, the boss just started calling me nicknames like darling sweetheart instead of my name, which made me quite uncomfortable as I was the only female there. Later on, he just did a few other things, like a few little phrases here and there, and a few little gestures
that made me uncomfortable. I'm not really sure what to do about it, as it was never enough to say anything about it, but I still just didn't feel okay about it. My friend, who also works with a guy, asked me if I felt comfortable with what he was doing, so it must have been pretty obvious.
That he was doing it.
The catch is that I will likely see this boss around as he's in my close community. So I don't know what to say because I don't want to make anything awkward or weird, but I do want to stay in the job. I can't really find a good excuse to quit because the money is good and I need the hours. He knows I need the hours to any suggestions, Have either of you ever been in this similar situation? And how do I deal with something like this?
I think that this is such a common thing that so many women have to deal with in the workplace. And it's twenty twenty and mentioned no better. And you know, call us by our names, don't call us sweetie or whatever other term of endearment you're having to put up with at work. I'm going to make a generalization, and maybe this might not sit with everyone. I think we can all agree that if you find it inappropriate, like
I mean, it's inappropriate full stop. But if it's an issue for you, then it is something that you should attend to. So I think that there's two camps of people. There are men who genuinely don't say it with any malicious intent. They you know, it's for them, it's a term of endearment. It might even be more like a father daughter relationship that in itself, though, can be pretty patronizing.
I think so on the other side, there is this very patronizing or also a bit of a creepy thing that could be happening, and by the sounds here, it's like a bit more of a creepy thing. And I think either way both of them, you can call them out, but you can call them out in very different ways.
I think for the one where you know the person's not meaning it with an intent and you know their character, you know that they're not a bad person, you know they're not hitting on you, you can approach that one by the next time they do it, you can say, look, I'm gonna call you boss Dave, Dave like you know, I love working for you. I think you're a great guy. I just want to say I really don't like it when you call me sweety. So if you could just
call me beck, that would be great. He would probably feel embarrassed and would it would be like, no hard feelings. He would absolutely change. The other guy, the creepy guy, the guy that's not appropriate. I think you do need to be a little bit more firm with that, and you can still say in a way that's not super confrontational. But the next time that he's saying hey, darling, hey sweetie,
you just say my name's Beck, and that's it. It can be a sentence that just cuts the paragraph in half or cuts his speech in half, and then the next time he calls you sweeter, you go, my name's Beck. And I think that like that in itself really starts to set the tone for what's appropriate and inappropriate.
I think when you play along with it.
Or if you like you know, haha, or try not to make him feel uncomfortable, then he could take that as that being it's okay to call you that. And the more that you are trying to make him feel comfortable, the more uncomfortable you're going to be calm. And isn't it crazy that we are okay with ourselves being in environment as women where we feel completely uncomfortable and we hate it, but we don't want to offend the other person who's making us feel like that because we don't
want to make them feel like that. So I think, you know, you really do have to actually nip this one in the butt, because it's only going to get worse.
It's definitely not going to get better.
It's such a hard one.
I'm trying to put myself in a situation and now it would be a lot easier for me because I'm older, wiser, lull, but I'm more experienced. But I know I've been in the situation before I'm younger where I definitely have been the person that's like, I'll just put up with this semi uncomfortable situation because I don't want to draw any more attention to it. I don't like confrontation. I don't
want to make him feel uncomfortable. Ultimately, you don't have to ever be in a position that you're not comfortable with.
Now.
I know that it's easy for us to sit here and say, just say something, tell him you don't like it, But it's a very different situation to actually do that, to approach someone and say, in your workplace, when there's three of you that work there, I don't like it when you call me this.
I get that. That's a whole lot harder. But you're entitled to it.
Like Laura said, you can say it in a way that is a little bit softer. Doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be a big deal. It can literally be like Laura said, Hey, it's actually brit that's it.
At least that plants the seed, and if it continues, then you can kind of you know, be more firm.
I have another thing that I want to say.
If this is just a little side job and a cash job and you're that uncomfortable and you don't know what to do, I am sure there are other jobs out there. Like if you actually don't want to go to work because you're so comfortable and the thought of confronting makes you so uncomfortable, it is always the option to be like, you.
Know what I was, look for another job. I'll get another job.
If you're not in any immediate danger at the workplace, like you don't actually think that he's threatening or a predator or anything like that, and you can just start to look for another job. Why don't you do that? And that will leave the whole situation. But you don't have to be in a situation like you shouldn't be the one that has to quick because you're uncomfortable. I'm just saying it's always an option, and I'm just trying to put myself like I'm trying to think of my dad.
For example, my dad would call my friends if my friends come over.
He'd be like, hey, sweetheart, give him a kiss. Hello.
So he would use that term, but he would use it in a term that's like, you know, it's not creepy, you know, it's comfortable. And he's never made any of my friends comfortable feel uncomfortable, So there is that as well. Maybe he's just looking at you like a bit of a If you're young and he's an older man, he might be looking at you like it's a term of endearment, like you'd call like your daughter.
I don't know, but I do think that there's a very big difference between speaking to someone your daughter's friend or speaking to your employee, like I mean, as an employer, I think that there are very very different codes of conduct as to how you can speak to someone that you work with and work for. Also, secondly, I and I'm going to disagree with you on a point, brit but you know it's okay that we.
Have different opinions on things. Hit me only because.
I actually I actually experienced sexual assault at my workplace when I was twenty two. My CEO he at our Christmas work party, he was a sixty year old German Man, stuck his hand up my dress and into my underwear.
Oh kidding, well, I mean that's fucking next level, isn't it.
Yeah, and at the time I was so upset and so embarrassed that I ended up quitting my job. He told me it'd always found me attractive, and then he you know, went way too far, and I knit. Oh my god, I can't even I can't even tell you how infuriating it makes me now as a thirty four year old woman that I didn't stand up for myself. But at the time I was twenty three, I think, and I quit. I quit, and I went to another job, and he never ever, ever had to deal with his
workplace conduct. He ended up moving to another career in the States. And I look back on that and I think because I was too young to actually verbalize how I felt, and I told my people who I worked with, but I didn't ever tell any of my superiors because
I was too worried about me being fired. That I think, you know, you really have the right to feel comfortable in your workplace, and you never ever, ever should have to quit a job because somebody in your workplace makes you feel uncomfortable because they're the one that's behaving inappropriately. And I really, like, now, as an adult, feel very passionately about that. So I know that age can make
it very difficult to express how you feel. But I think that with that comes experience, and with that comes a newfound confidence for you to just stick up for yourself a little bit. And as women, we really need to do that. We really need to set boundaries for the way that we want to be treated. And if you're not setting any boundaries at all, and you're not calling someone out, even if it is in a polite way saying like, hey, I don't like that, can you
please not call me this name? Then what that ends up doing is it gives that person validation and justification that it's okay and they can continue to do it. So I think be really mindful of that and don't feel too embarrassed to just say, hey, I.
Don't really like that.
I want to make it very, very very clear that I would never, ever, ever, ever tell you to quit a job if you had been sexually assaulted, like, you report that shit, you go to the police, you go to his superiors, you do everything you have to.
That's not what I meant.
I just meant if it's to the point where she just doesn't want to confront it, which I think you should because you're entitled to it one hundred percent. But if this is your side cash job and you're like, I just don't want to deal with it the stress in my life and don't want to bring it on. I don't want to confront him, whilst I think you
should and you're entitled to it. You can always just take yourself away from the environment, like that is an option if if the thought of confrontation is too much, which for a lot of people it is, that is an option as well. But ultimately, I think you could have the simple conversation, hey, it's actually Beck, don't love it when you call me that, and then just sort of not make a big deal about it, get on with your day and see if it continues. If it continues, you're going to.
Have to take more drastic measures, you know what. Just like I'm going to tell you the last of that story.
So after I quit, so I told a couple of people from work, and I ended up staying for a while because he had never been inappropriate to me during actual work, Like during our day to day work, I barely ever passed him like he was a CEO of a very big company, so I never actually had to experience him really in the office, and then a couple of weeks, a couple of months passed and I was like, Okay, I guess we'll just pretend like that never happened and
we'll let that go. Anyway, the next time we had a big like it wasn't a Christmas party, but the next time we had like a big work event, but there was lots of drinks. He tried it on again and did the same speel and was all over me, and actually the general manager ended up stepping in and getting me into a taxi to get me away from him, and then I quit. The next day I came to work and I was like, Okay, I can't do this.
I'm done.
And then I got given a pair of diamond earrings when I left my tiny shitty sales job that I got paid thirty thousand dollars a year at the time for I got given a pair of fucking baller sparkling diamond earrings. And I was like, how did this happen? Pre Me too movement, because at least I just wish I'd been a bit older, a bit wiser, a bit more confident. I wish I'd understip stood that even if you're in a very junior role. You still have power
that you never need to be treated like that. But I just left because I couldn't deal with it, and I didn't know how to respond to it, and I didn't know what to do or say.
It's like that was like hush money, like it was a hospital, that fucking starks Man, and I just can't believe it's still happening. Obviously, we've had this whole me too movement. It's so infuriating that women have to go through this at all at any level, whether it's just being uncomfortable with the name that they call in you or like you Laura, like I.
Just it makes me so mad.
I'm sorry that happened to you, but being physically touched in the workplace, it's so inappropriate and you're absolutely you're not fuck it. Just tell him straight up, just be like, don't call me that, and.
How many I'm so bad?
Now, don't call me sweetie, patronizing piece of shit? All right, guys, question number three, let's get into it. That was a really big one that took a dark turn, and I have never shared that story publicly, so I'm sure that all a few eyebrows, but it happened a really long time ago. It happened a decade ago, so it's not something I ever think about. But when I talk about workplace conduct and when people talk about being harassed at work,
it really triggers me. And you know it happens. So I'm not gonna I'm not going to keep that a secret.
No, I think it's important to talk about it. So thank you for sharing.
You're welcome.
Okay, this is slightly different light a tone.
Okay, question I'm a three. It was a really long one. I'm just gonna summarize that. But long story short, this girl has been dating her partner for only about six months, so they're close enough to be, you know, pretty open with each other, and they're moving in the right direction. But it's not like it's long term and you can.
Be like faring.
You can't be like so open with him yet well you literally fart on each other. So long story short, he's starting to go bald. You can't laugh.
A lot of men go bored.
I know I'm laughing because of how different this question is.
Okay, I was like, stop bald shaming this man.
No, I'm not.
He's starting to go bald. But her question is I don't really know how to approach it. I want to say something, because she's like, I don't actually know if he knows it's going bald, Like obviously this bits at the back. She thinks he should shave it because she thinks he'll look better, and she thinks he look good with it shaved, but it will also stop the patchy baldness.
She's what do I do? She's like, can I tell him? How do I tell him?
Do I just leave it?
Is that too of fensive? Are we there yet? Like, there's so many aspects.
To this question, dabe, I'm also going bald, and Matt tells me all the time. Matt constantly makes strokes of like, well, at least I'm going to have more hair than you were wearing our eighties, So maybe when you get to our point in the relationship, you'll be fine with making those comments. I'm going to say something obviously, like you've been with this guy for six months, you have strong feelings for him, blah blah blah, all that aside. This is going to sound cliche and dumb, but I'm going
to say it anyway. You need to love him, and however he looks and be accepting of whatever he's comfortable with. And you never want to do something or make your partner feel uncomfortable because esthetically you want them to change something about themselves. Like you're obviously looking at him and it's triggering you that he's going bored. But maybe he's totally freaking fine with it. Maybe he realizes and he's just comfortable in his alopecia.
I agree, like you fuck you just need to accept someone how they are and love them how they are. But what I do think you could do in this if he doesn't know his ball Like if I was.
Going balld, if I had a ball patch, you know about a bat which I've got.
No, I've got a double crown, guys. If you guys don't know what a double crown is, look it up. But if I don't hardcore brush my hair one specific way, I look black.
I've got a ball patch because it's like, you know, like ro Adesian ridgebacks, you know on their back, how their hair spans out. I have that, and I look like I have this huge ball patch because my hair goes one way. If I was like probably going bald at the back and I didn't know I would want you to tell me, Laura, or I'd want someone to
tell me. So what I think you could do is, in case he doesn't know, maybe next time you're like he's sitting down, or you're behind him or giving him a neck rub or whatever, be like like you've just noticed, babe, I think you've got a ball patch.
Just make a joke about it, like it's lighthearted, and then.
Imagine someone being like, no, baby, I was just noticed you've got sell your life.
No.
I mean it's different to sitting them down and being like we need to talk, you're going bored. I mean, just and then just be playful about it, be like okay, grampy, like whatever.
That's what I would do. I would just make it a bit lighthearted. He's probably like, I know, don't give me a hard time.
It's going to be a joke. But I think the way if.
You really wanted to bring it up, would be like make it like you've just noticed something and be like, oh, I think you've got a board patch.
See.
I would worry that that would play into some insecurity that he already has. So I kind of like think a way of getting someone to do something that you want is like a compliment them.
So maybe you could just say.
I think you would look really, really freaking sexy with a shaved head. Have you ever shaved your head? I've been thinking about it, and I think you would look so fucking hot. Like I think that is like a nicer way of approaching something than being.
Like, oh my god, oh my goodness, I've just noticed that this has happened to you. It's a disaster.
I'm sure that's another option, Like I'm all about the compliments, but I think in a relationship like this, when you've spent six months with someone, this is and guys, this is just our opinions, Like, yes, heaps, if you're gonna be like I would never do that as wrong.
I would be playful and be like, lo, I think you've got to barbatch. That's so funny, but you're still gonna be kissing him and loving him, being like, look the look your little ball patch.
Whatever.
But also it also totally depends on the type of relationship you have, Like I mean, Matt and I we have a very joking, we make fun of each other kind of relationship, and so for us, like if I was to point something out like that of him, and I was like, Hey, they a nice ball patch, you've got happening. He would laugh and he wouldn't be offended. So I think I do agree with you. It completely depends on your relationship and where you're at and how open and how far you can push the envelope with
how much you can kind of torment each other. But at the same time, if that's not what you're like in your relationship, and like maybe you're a bit more a personality type, maybe you are more respectful in the way that you speak to each other, I think that it can be done from an affirmation side of things then, and in which case, I really think that positive encouragement and positive reinforcement is a really great way of manipulating.
People into what you want them to do.
I'll remember that, Laura.
This this situation is if the bull patch is at the back of the head, he can't see it, he doesn't know it's there. I don't think guys will at the back of the head. I'm not saying if he's got a really obvious ball patch of the front, then like the guy.
Knows it's there.
He knows, like he's not blind, he's just accepting it. And also, I mean, like, look, like brit said, if it's at the back of his head and he doesn't know about it, tell the poor guy he might want to know, and there are things he can do. Maybe you know, he can run in the whole footsteps of who's that cricketer who got a whole lot of hair plugs done?
Warning?
Yeah him, Maybe he can follow in the steps of all the warning ads and go and get some hair transplant whatever it is that they advertise on TV constantly.
This is not an ad for them. We're not sponsored by hair transplant guys.
I honestly just think, I one hundred percent think, and I think this is everything in life. It's in your delivery. It's in the delivery of how you give it to him.
So I would make it a bit lighthearted, but I don't know your relationship.
But if it's at the back of his head, tell the guy, just tell him, let him know. Done.
I reckon, we've covered all bases.
We really went from like the lows to the real lows, back to the highs, back.
To the shining glory of the ball top of the high It was.
Such a random assortment of questions all the coaster guys, I've got to run because apparently that get Roun's down the road, so I need to go take my clothes off and run.
Down street people before you get nude and go into a first trap.
I just want to say, guys, we.
Are back to number one in the podcast chat. It means I'm sorry, they thank you all. It means that we're number one in the country at the moment thanks to every single one of you guys who listens to this podcast. And we are so freaking appreciative. We're so proud of like the community that you guys are growing.
Like I mean, you know, I know that we put the podcast out that you are the ones who actually get involved in that community, who have started meetups, who continue the conversations on Facebook, who give us your opinions and your thoughts on episodes, and whether you agree or disagree, and like even in the times where you disagree with things that we say, we really appreciate that back as well,
because we're human. We're having a human conversation here, and like we always say, we're not experts, We're just people who have lived.
Very colorful lives.
There will never be a day that I wake up see that we're number one and not be like an excited child on Christmas. Laura and I literally like screenshot it. We sent it to each other like we're kids.
We're like, can you believe it?
Like we can't because we genuinely can't believe it.
We cannot believe that we are in a position where we get to do something we love. We get to talk shit, we get to laugh, we get to help you guys out.
Yeah, and like, the big one and the reason why we started this in the first place is that we wanted to empower people to live better and happier lives and to have more fulfilling relationships. And we know that that is the case, and we know that there are people out there who this is touched because you guys let us know, and that means the absolute world to us. My biggest thing is we wanted you guys to feel like you're not alone in any situation.
We wanted to bring awareness.
To how crazy, hilarious, fucked up down so many people's situations can be, so that you can sit there and be like, Wow, I'm not the only one going through this.
I'm not the only one feeling like this. This is normal. I don't feel so alone.
And in some weird, crazy way we've managed to do that and we're just so chuffed to say thank you so much for keeping this at number one.
And that's all. We'll stop talking now.
So guys, if you.
Haven't joined up to the Life Uncut Facebook group, it's a Life Uncut podcast. If you haven't jumped on the Life Uncut Instagram, you really need to do that because sometimes it's very funny. So that's Life Uncut Podcast as well. That's going to bring a bit of sunshine to your day, and you.
Know the drill.
Leave a review for us. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends, tell your brother, to your sister.
You don't just tell everyone.
And share love because we love BLA
There the way