Easter | The Death of Doubt | John 13:36-14:15 - Stephanie Sullivan

John is just so good. Thank you. Now I can see people. John is just so beautiful. I love at the end of John where he says about Jesus and all of the works that he did.

He says, now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself cannot contain the books that would be written. I love to think about that, that so much could be written about Jesus that the world couldn't hold the books. I I love, you know, like beauty of the beast when they have that library and the ladder, and they climb up it. And I just would love to have a library like that.

But can you think of all of the books of the world and how it couldn't be held about our savior? He's just so good. And so, I'm gonna pray, and then I'll read today's scripture. Lord, I thank you for your word. God, I thank you that your word is perfect, that it revives the soul, that the testimony of the Lord is sure.

I thank you, Lord, that it makes wise the simple. I thank you, Lord, that the precepts of you are right, that they cause our hearts to rejoice. I thank you, Lord, that your commandments are pure, that they enlighten our eyes. Lord, I thank you, Lord, for your word, for its truth. Your word is to be desired more than gold, more than anything.

It's sweeter than honey, and it's strength to my soul. And Lord, I know today that my words are not perfect, but your word is perfect. My insufficiencies are real, but there is no insufficiency in you, for you are sufficient. And I pray today that you would speak through me. Thank you for the privilege and the honor, Jesus.

In your name, I pray. Amen. So, I'm going to be reading John 13 through John John thirteen thirty six through John fourteen sixteen and let me turn there. Alright. It says, Simon Peter said to him, Lord, where are you going?

Jesus answered him, where I am going, you cannot follow me now, but you will follow afterward. Peter said to him, Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you. Jesus answered, will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times.

Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am, you may be also, and you know the way to where I am going.

Thomas said to him, Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way? Jesus said to him, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my father also.

From now on, you do know him and have seen him. Philip said to him, Lord, show us the father, and it is enough for us. Jesus said to him, have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the father. How can you say, show us the father?

Do you not believe that I am in the father and the father is in me? The words that I say to you, I do not speak on my own authority, but the father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the father and the father is in me, or else believe on the account of the works themselves. Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do, and greater works than these will he do because I am going to the father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the father may be glorified in the son.

If you ask anything in my name, I will do it. If you love me, you will keep my commandments. So here we are in the scripture at the end of Holy Week. They're getting ready for the Passover. And right before this, I actually really love John 13, and I won't lie.

I wanted to preach John 13, but I'm not going to. But let's just get a little background of where we're at before this in the story. So the disciples are in the upper room, and this is often called the upper room discourse. And so if you read from 14 to 16, really 13 to 16, you can see everything that happened right before Jesus gets ready to be put on trial and to be crucified. If we think about this moment, I love to look at these moments because this discourse are the moments right before Jesus goes to die.

This is what he did right before he died. And I think whatever the savior of the world chose to do right before he died is probably pretty important. You can read the whole thing in about twelve to fifteen minutes, and I encourage you. Do that this week. Do that this week and just sit with it because these are his words to his disciples right before he died.

But right before this scene that I just read to you, we have a foot washing. And so right now, we're gonna get out some I'm just kidding. We're not going to. But that is what happened. So right before this, Jesus comes into the upper room, and He washes the disciples' feet.

He washes their feet. He goes low in His last moments, and He serves those who he has walked with. And he tells them something beautiful. He says, I no longer call you servant, but I call you friend. And even in that room, he washes all 12 of their feet, even the one that's about to betray Him, even the one that's about to deny Him.

He washes their feet. He sits with them. He tells them about the cup. He tells them that His blood is gonna be shed and that he has to drink from the cup that his father has given him to drink. And he tells them some really sad news.

He tells them that he's gonna leave them. I'm gonna leave you. And I don't know if you've ever had a friend tell you that they're gonna leave you, but it's pretty difficult. It's pretty difficult to have a friend say, I'm gonna leave you. In fact, I can remember the day that I was sitting on my porch in Kansas, and Emily came over, and she sits in the chair, and we're sitting together.

I forgot to warn you, I was a crier. And and I just knew I didn't know that she was gonna say she was gonna leave, but I just knew something was off. And I remember that day that she said, Stephanie, we're gonna move to Virginia. I'm gonna leave you. How? Why? No. No. No. No. No. That's not the plan. That is not the plan that I had. You're supposed to stay here. You're supposed to be my kids' youth pastors.

We're supposed to do life together. We're supposed to do ministry together. And she said, no. I'm gonna leave. And here, we have the disciples. They have been walking with Jesus for three years. Three years. They have left their families. They have left their jobs. They've left their businesses.

They've left everything to be with Jesus. And they have followed him around, and they have seen him do miracles, and they've done life with him. And now he says, I'm gonna leave you. Now that is not the idea that they had in their heads. No, Jesus. You're not supposed to leave. We're just getting to the place where we're going to conquer Rome, and you're gonna do this. You're gonna be the conquering king. And Jesus says, no. I'm I'm leaving you.

And so there's a lot of emotion in this text right here that I that I just read to you. There's a lot of feelings happening. There's a lot of feelings happening. There's a lot of concern. And rightfully so. Right? If your friend, if the one that you have followed everywhere just told you that that that he's gonna leave you, and Jesus encourages them. In this moment, you think that the disciples should be encouraging Jesus. He's preparing to go to the cross. He needs strength.

But instead, Jesus encourages them, and he encourages them with these words. He says, let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God. Believe also in me. Jesus reveals in this statement, why would he say to them, believe in God, believe also in me, if they didn't have a lack of belief?

And so he says to them, believe in me. Believe in God. He reveals that there is an issue, that there's a source of doubt, and that source of doubt is that they still don't really fully believe who Jesus is. They know that he's more than a man, and they know that he has come from God and that he is going to do lots of things. They've already seen him do lots of things, but they still have this issue with not seeing that he is fully God himself.

And I want to look at the three disciples that choose to speak up. Do you know what? I would be one of the disciples that speak up. I like to talk too much. And so I would be, I think, I would probably be Peter right before the chapter who says, where are you going?

I am going where and Jesus says, you can't follow me, but you'll follow me afterwards. And Peter says, Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you. Peter really believes in his own power. He really believes in his own strength. Because Jesus tells him, you're not gonna lay down your life for me. You're actually gonna deny me. But Jesus in Peter in himself says, no. I'm gonna follow you. I will follow you so far if it means giving up my life.

And Jesus is like, that's not true. So we know that Peter, his his issue, his source of doubt is that he really believes in his own power. He defaults to his own power in this moment because he's thinking, I'm pretty strong, and I'm gonna do anything I can to protect you. I'm gonna do anything that I can to to go with you. But here's the thing.

Even in following Jesus, our own power means nothing. It means absolutely nothing. And I can tell you that I know what it's like to get up every single day and be the most disciplined person in your life. I know what it's like to have a life of prayer and to to never miss it and to have that hour and it be glorious and me walk in power. But even in that, you can become so wrapped up that you think it's your own discipline that's what gets you the power.

And, you know, Jesus kinda took that away from me. He took me through a season where I would get up, and I would do that routine, and I would go to that place where I had had that presence with him, where I had felt his power. And I would go there, and I would do the same thing that I'd always done, but I wouldn't feel his presence, and I wouldn't hear his voice. And I would say, Lord, what is the sin in my life? Why can't I hear you?

Why why isn't this working anymore? And the reason that it stopped working is because I stopped depending upon his power to be what strengthened me. I started to get prideful enough to think that it was because I met with him every day and because I spent that hour and because I spent that time that I could do anything. But no. There is nothing in my own power that can help me follow Jesus.

Does that mean we don't pray or that we don't do those things? Absolutely not. But what I'm saying is you can even get to a place where you think those things are what saves you. And Peter thought his own power could help him save Jesus. He didn't understand.

The next person that speaks up is Thomas. And, oh goodness, I love what Thomas says because I can relate to Thomas too. He says to him, Lord, we don't know where you're going. How can we know the way? Now tell me, when someone gives you directions, who can say, you know, just go east and then you'll see the building and, you know, like, then go west, and then I you know, can you follow that?

Can you follow east and west and north and south? No. Because this is me. Never eat soggy watermelon, and that is probably not north right now. Is it? Is this north right now? We don't know. Okay? And so you can't tell me go north and me know what that means. I need very specific directions. And sometimes, even very specific directions don't work with me. Okay? But but Thomas, he says, Lord, what is the way? We don't know the way. And I have been guilty of asking that same question.

Thomas wants a physical direction from Jesus. He wants to know where to go. Have you ever asked God that? Have you ever said, god, what is your plan for my life? And maybe some of you have quit asking that question. But that isn't really the question that we should be asking. God, what's your plan? Where do you desire? And not that that question in itself is bad, but you can worship that question. I've done it.

And I think that there's a whole generation of people that are waiting for God to do something big through them, and they're seeking God's will and God's plan, but they're not seeking his face. And Jesus says to Thomas, the famous verse that you probably learned when you were little, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me. You're not looking for a direction. You're not looking for a destination.

I am the way. And I had to repent because I've spent a lot of time praying, Lord, can I go to Virginia to be with my friends? Lord, could you just make it clear to me? I want to know. And the Lord's like, hey, how about you seek my face? How about you seek me and quit seeking a direction because I am the way? It's not a map that you need. It's not a physical direction. It's not a plan that you need. He's not gonna lay it all out for us.

Because when he lays it all out for us, it feels like we're in control. We don't need control when we have him. He's in control. And so Thomas says, Lord, what is the way? What is the way? And he says, I am the way. I am the way. I am the truth. I am the life. And then we have Philip.

Philip doesn't ask a question. He more so makes a statement. Jesus tells them Philip says to the Lord, he says, Lord, show us the father, and it is enough for us. And Jesus said to him, how have I been with you still so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me, sees has seen the father. Philip wants some proof. Philip wants to know, okay. Can you show us how you're the father? Can you can you show us the father? That's what he wants to know.

Can you show me the father? You've already seen the father, Jesus says, because you've seen me. Do you know how many times Jesus repeats this in the discourse that him and the father are one? It's about 15. But if you read the book of John, it's over and over. It's a repeated theme because the disciples just didn't get it. Yes. He's more than man. Yes. He's sent from God.

But it took them some some time to realize he is God. There is no proof that they needed. He had already had proof. Jesus said to him, truly, truly, I say to you, before that, in verse 11, he says, believe me that I am in the father and the father is in me, or else believe on account of the works also. So he tells him, if if you don't believe by what I say that I am the Father and one are one, believe in the works that you have seen.

Believe in the works that you have seen. Looking at John, just the works that we see in John. K? He knew Nathaniel before Philip called him to follow or to come see. He turned water into wine at the wedding of Canaan.

He revealed himself to the woman at the well. He healed an official's son just by speaking a word. He told a man that had been invalid for thirty eight years to pick up his bed and to walk. He healed so many sick that the crowds flocked towards him, and he fed one hungry crowd of over 5,000 people with five loaves and two fish. He walked on water.

He healed a man born blind. He raised a man from the dead who had been born for four days. There was no mere man that could do any of these things, only God. And Jesus says to him, I am the father in one, and if you don't believe that, believe on the account of the works themselves. Believe in what you have seen. You don't need proof, Philip. But we like proof. Who likes signs? Don't lie. I love signs.

I love proof. When the Lord confirms something, that is awesome. It's sweet. It brings peace to us. But why do we need it?

Why do we seek it more than we seek him? Because he is the way. Jesus tells them the answer to all of your doubts, the answer to your desire for a plan or for your proof or even to your own power, it is me. And he tells their weary hearts, believe in me. Peter has to learn that his own power won't sustain him, and unfortunately, he learns that the hard way when he denies Jesus three times.

Man, I couldn't do it. He was right. And he learns that when the rooster crows. And I really think he learns it when he goes back to fishing, he goes back to his old ways, and Jesus shows up and restores him. But when Jesus shows up and restores him, he doesn't trust in his own power anymore.

Something else has happened. He gets rid of desiring to live by his own ability. He tells Thomas, I'm the way. And I I just I just love what he does for each one of them and all of these things, and I haven't really been looking at my notes. So I'm slightly lost, but that's okay.

It's okay. It shouldn't be direction to our destination that we are seeking because of this. Our destination is intimacy. Our destination is intimacy. And in these verses, Jesus tells them not to let your hearts be troubled. Believe in me. Believe also in God because I go to prepare a place for you. And that place is a beautiful place. We know that he is preparing heaven for us, that he prepared heaven for us, that it is ready. And we all dream of it.

Some of us maybe because we've lost a loved one. Some of us maybe because this world just does really feel like it's going to hell in a handbasket. And so we kind of set our eyes on heaven, and we think it would just be better to be there where the streets are gold and where there's these jewels and where there's all these things that we've promised, and the ones that we've lost are there. But no. Heaven is a beautiful place because that's where He is.

And and what we need is Him. The destination is intimacy. And he actually made a way for us to be intimate with him right now. Because the only place that he was preparing was not just heaven, but was our hearts to be his home. The disciples didn't have them in his heart, in their hearts yet, but we do.

We do. The problem is that our hearts are probably crowded with so many other things that sometimes we forget that He's there. Now, this is a little debated, but I did some research on these scriptures, and there's a little bit of a picture of Jewish wedding ceremonies right here. So in that culture, a groom would be chosen and he would go to the family. He'd go to the father of the of the bride.

He would go to her, and he would, ask the father the price, and he would pay the price, and they would drink a cup of wine and celebrate. And that would be in great engagement. That would be like engagement for us. And then the groom would not stay. He would leave, and he would go, and he would go back to his father's house, and he would begin to prepare a place for his bride.

And he would be gone for a while, maybe like a year. Now I can't imagine not seeing this guy for the whole year of our engagement. Probably would have been better for us, but I can't imagine what that would be like. You know, they they leave and they go to prepare a place. And do you think that the bride just forgets about her groom?

Absolutely not. She's preparing herself, expecting for him to come back at any time. And then the bridegroom's best man, so to say, is gonna come back and announce, your your your groom, he's coming. And they get ready, and then they consummate the marriage, and there's a celebration. And in this story right here, we have a little bit of a picture of that because Jesus just had the Lord's Supper with the disciples.

And they drink a cup, and he tells them, hey, I'm leaving you. I'm leaving you, but I'm going to prepare a place for you. So don't lose heart. Wait for me with expectancy. I'm gonna give you what you need while you wait. Now, I love it. You know, Lewis and I, when we got married, we were very young. I was 19, and he was 18. Yes. I'm older than him. Wiser too. And I we got married. No one wanted us to get married. No one. Because everyone said, you shouldn't get married if you're 18 and 19.

My mother-in-law was the biggest one. I've forgiven her, y'all. But she was like, do not get married. You will get pregnant. You will not finish college. You will not succeed in life. We didn't listen to anyone's advice. We loved each other, and we got married. We did get pregnant one month after. It was not in our plan. It doesn't matter. That has nothing to do with the story. This is what it does. When we got married, we were poor. Really, really poor.

And we didn't even have money for the deposit. So I don't know why, but we called his mom and asked her if she would give us money for the deposit. Guess what she said? No. I didn't want you to get married. So we worked hard, and we come up with it on our own, and we got it. And we had this little apartment, 815 Self Circle. It cost $350 a month. $350? That's a good deal.

Right? That's what we were thinking. Because $350 a month for us was, like, two thirds of our income. So after we paid tithes and paid our apartment, we basically had to eat the pizza from the Pizza Hut that I worked at. K?

That's how poor we were. And we had this little apartment, and we thought it was glorious. My grandma bought us all this little stuff to decorate it, and it was so cute. We were so in love, we didn't care that there were roaches no matter how many times we treated it. We were so in love that we didn't care that I couldn't leave my job and come home to that little apartment because downstairs, there was a guy who was always selling things, and they weren't good things.

So Lewis wouldn't let me go straight home. He made me come to Walmart where he worked, sit in the parking lot, wait for him to get off, and then we would drive to that little apartment together. We would go in together. He wanted to protect me. And we didn't care that one night, we hear some ruckus outside, and we look out the door, and there's a man running butt naked down the road.

We didn't care that all of these things were happening, that we lived in the poorest part of Jonesboro, Arkansas. We didn't care that we barely had money for rent. We didn't care that we you know, this is really sad, but we we bought Christmas presents for each other, and I bought the baby that we were pregnant with, a box of diapers. But then after Christmas, we were so poor, I decided I'm gonna take those diapers back. I took the diapers back to get money for something else.

So we bought Christmas presents, and then I think return returned them. That's how poor we were. But we didn't care about that place being so bad because we loved each other. Because we loved each other. Because it really isn't about the place.

But he's asking us as we wait, as we wait to continue to stir our affections for Him. Because sometimes I feel like they're not stirred. When I hear the glory days of so many people, I think, Lord, what are we missing? But we're waiting for our groom to return. We're waiting. And it's not the place that we're waiting. Yes. Heaven is sweet, but heaven is sweet because he is there. And so we could care less about the place. I want us to stir our affections for him again.

And that's what he wants. When he left us, when he said, I'm going to prepare a place for you, he didn't mean for us to stop waiting on him. In fact, I believe he's coming back for those who are waiting and longing to be with him. Because it is a relationship, and it is an intimacy. And he's not coming back for those who are distant and who have forgot about him and who have moved on, But those who are waiting for that place, waiting for it.

And maybe our belief has kind of lowered. And and maybe we need to have a death to doubt in our lives. Because maybe we're like Peter, and our doubt is because of our own power. And maybe we're like Thomas, and our doubt is because we don't have a plan. And maybe we're like Philip, and our doubt is because we don't have proof.

But what we have is intimacy. And I just wanna see Him. Do you ever just sit and think? Sometimes I just sit, and I think about what it's gonna be like. When I just fall down before Him. I can't imagine anything else in that place. People say, oh, I want to ask Paul this, and I want to ask Moses this, and I want to ask Abraham this. No. I don't want to ask any of them anything. I just want to sit before him in that place and worship him.

Because, yes, I experience intimacy with him here, but what will it be like in that place? And so today, I wanna challenge us to put a death to our doubts. Maybe you look around this room, and maybe you were part of this room when it was exploding. Maybe you were part of this room when everything was going good, like the Jesus just fed the 5,000 moments. Maybe you were a part of this place in that, And you look around and you're like, Lord, is it ever gonna happen again?

Not if you don't stop doubting. Believe in me. Believe in God. We are one. And he goes on to tell you in John 17, if you abide in me, you and I, he prays that we would be one with him.

And he says, abide in me. In John 15, apart from me, you can do nothing. And it's true that if in your own power, you think that you can do something to bring this place back to life again, it won't happen. But with him, it's possible, but we've gotta have a death to our doubts. Maybe you think, man, lord, I really I really need some proof and a sign because this guy is pretty young. He's pretty young and no hair, he says. K? Or 26? 28. 28.

I'm way off. I have no concept of time. I should've warned you all of that. But he's younger than me. He's younger than me. How can he lead me? He doesn't have as much wisdom as me. I'll tell you this. He's with Jesus. And with Jesus, we can do anything.

And he didn't say that. He didn't say that anybody felt that way. I just wanna remind you that your doubts that you have in your heart, maybe you're thinking, man, Lord, what could you do with me? What could you possibly do with me? He can do anything with you.

If you would just live expecting and live walking in a faith that there is a reason that you're still here. There is a purpose that you're still here. In this place, miracles can happen. In your life outside of this place, miracles can happen. And Jesus encourages the disciples, yes, I'm gonna leave you, but it's for your own good.

It's for your own good because then you're gonna receive power. You're gonna receive the Holy Spirit. And guys, we have the Holy Spirit. And so if today, we could put together a a a death to our doubts, we could make a decision to say, Jesus, I don't need a plan. Jesus, I don't need direction.

Jesus, I don't need for you to lay it all out, and I don't need to do it in my own sufficiency. All that I need is you. And Lord, stir my heart again for your affections. Stir my heart for the things of you again. Let it be like it was in the beginning when I didn't have much, but I had you. I had an apartment with roaches, and I didn't have much, but I had love. And I longed for you again. Can we just take a moment and and, Ketan, if you wanna come, and can we just close our eyes?