The wedding day is not the best time to learn how to be a spouse. Too many young couples begin this way. Without prior marriage training, they had to figure out how to get along with each other in the school of hard knocks. Some of them do not endure their marriage, which is why we chose to give our son three wives. If practice makes perfect, the assumption is that we could help him get close to what it means to be a biblical husband—should that day come. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/my...
Apr 16, 2024•32 min
Statistically speaking, the chances of your son or daughter being married are greater than them spending their adult lives as singles. This likelihood is not inside information but public knowledge. Boys like girls and girls like boys, and most boys and girls will tie the knot in holy matrimony, even though there has been a multi-decade assault on marriage between a man and woman. How do you prepare your son to be an excellent future husband to a wonderful lady? When would you begin? My answers ...
Apr 13, 2024•34 min
It is impossible to engage our culture at any level and not hear their language, including curse words. Whether it is social media, a television show, or a stroll in the park, our culture’s words do not discriminate or care about our worldview. Because of the unending assault of their language upon us, the questions every caring parent must answer is who is going to teach their child the culture’s language, and when is the proper time to do it. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/wise-parents-...
Apr 11, 2024•32 min
Though it would be simpler to place the lust problem in the lap of one gender, it would bring harm to God’s Word because lust is every person’s temptation. Perhaps a couple of synonyms for lust will level the playing field, holstering our tongues to where we’re less likely to go, “Ready! Fire! Aim,” and react more soberly as we consider the wisdom in the sequence of the log and speck (Matthew 7:3-5). I was thinking about these things when I received this letter from a friend. Read Here: https://...
Apr 09, 2024•32 min
Every home is a laboratory where parents have the privilege of incrementally introducing their children to the culture around them. This incremental child development process prepares them to live in and engage in their world as adults while not being overcome by the culture. The proactive and intentional parent does not wait until the child is an adult to teach them how to live like an adult. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/incrementally-introducing-your-children-to-the-world/ Will you he...
Apr 06, 2024•33 min
Pornography is a pervasive sin in the sense that the outward behavior—viewing porn—speaks to a heart idolatry that is not as evident at first glance. Though there is wisdom in cutting off porn behavior (Matthew 5:29-30), the only way to be truly free is by rooting it out at its source, which implies identifying the idol that feeds the porn addiction. There will be many idols operative in a porn person’s heart. You may find the idol of comfort, respect, control, power, or reputation. Though this ...
Apr 04, 2024•47 min
Life Over Coffee · Modesty Wars: Hyper-grace Versus Legalism Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/hey-rick-what-does-your-wife-wear-to-the-beach/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/....
Apr 02, 2024•32 min
The goal of parenting is to rear a child to adulthood as a man or woman living under God’s authority. The hope-filled goal is for your child to step out into God’s world that final time, as they exit your home, as a person under His authority. The transition from when they once submitted and obeyed you, now they desire to submit to and obey God as an adult operating as missional agents in His world. This process of training a child to that future aspiration happens in three stages. Read Here: ht...
Mar 30, 2024•35 min
Too often, discussions about modesty digress into contentious sparring matches between Christians with differing perspectives on secondary issues. Usually, it’s the legalist and the liberal thinking believer, a sad commentary about our Christian maturity in light of the horrendous things that are happening all around us. We can be like kids arguing over the bigger piece of candy when these privileges sugar-fixes are less common in many parts of the world where having anything to eat is a daily s...
Mar 28, 2024•31 min
Profound suffering came into my life. I hurt without mitigation. In time, the challenges were so bad that I didn’t care if God took my life. I was not going to kill myself, but if the Lord wanted to, I was not opposed to it. The difficulties and disappointments were beyond my ability to fix it. As Paul said in 2 Corinthians 1:8, I despaired of life itself, which was odd in light of what he said in Romans 8:28 about all things working together for good. I was perplexed; how could what I was going...
Mar 26, 2024•44 min
Shows Main Idea – Small group life can be an amazing experience, or it could be the most frustrating part of your week. Knowing how to lead a group well while envisioning the members as active participants does not happen without a game plan that includes understanding, intentionality, and equipping. Here are eight essentials that every small leader needs to know to make the most of their small group experience. After you have read the essential and provided a brief explanation, will you answer ...
Mar 23, 2024•1 hr
Lust does not mysteriously appear in the heart of a teenager as though it came from nowhere. Teens are like the rest of us. Lust is part of their Adamic wiring, a sobering call for every parent to cooperate with God in shaping a child’s heart and life to a purer desire that is in Christ alone. This call is more than academic; the parent must model their message, giving their child a living illustration of God’s love to another person. Let me illustrate this point by sharing the fictional account...
Mar 19, 2024•32 min
Most of the counseling that I do is marriage counseling because it is in the context of marriage, where two sinful people have to live within proximity to each other for an extended period. Most other relationships have an exit strategy. Kids can leave the home—eventually. Friends can unfriend each other on social media. Like good wood, church folks can split, too. However, in marriage, it’s death or divorce, making the degree of difficulty for leaving more complex. What if a couple had a biblic...
Mar 16, 2024•1 hr 1 min
Strangers marry each other, and whoever you marry, you marry all of them, including their mind. Though you trust God with your future marriage partner and hope for the best, you know there is an element of mystery about how things will go because you will never be 100% aware of who your marriage partner is. Though it sounds pessimistic, it is a recognition of your finitude and your responsibility to ensure that your dating relationship is a sober opportunity for clear-headed decision-making and ...
Mar 14, 2024•31 min
Sex is a beautiful thing. A sinful sexual temptation is not, but giving into sexual temptation is worse. As fallen creatures, though redeemed by God, these temptations will always be part of our human experience. After the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, every person has struggled with distorted views of sex and sexual temptation. These problems are some of the universal assumptions you can make about anyone. We assume such things because of fallenness, but not out of condemnation. W...
Mar 12, 2024•32 min
Shows Main Idea – Mark E. Shaw, DMin, is the newly hired Nocatee Pastor of Counseling at First Baptist Church in Jacksonville, FL, and the Founder of The Addiction Connection (TAC). Having certifications with TAC, ACBC, IABC, and ICAADA, he offers the “Hope of the Gospel for the Heart of Addiction” in his teaching, counseling, and writing. As the author of twenty-eight publications, including The Heart of Addiction and Understanding Temptation, he leads a network of Commissioned Addictions Bibli...
Mar 09, 2024•59 min
Most of us understand the traditional definition of porn addiction. Typically, it’s in the context of a guy lusting after a girl. Active lust toward another person is the primary way porn is acted out in our culture, but it is no longer the exclusive twisted domain of men who won’t control their eyes and actions. There is another kind of porn addiction that is unique to women. It’s a backward porn addiction, as one lady told me during a counseling session. This porn addiction carries a similar i...
Mar 07, 2024•38 min
While summer is an appreciated and welcomed relief from the blistering cold of winter—for those of us who have winters, it does bring a different difficulty to our lives. The summer months draw attention to our universal struggle with sex, sexuality, and temptation, with the modesty debates taking a prominent role in our conversations. The knee-jerk reaction is to blame our fallen counterparts without careful consideration of what the Bible says regarding universal depravity and every human’s te...
Mar 05, 2024•32 min
Shows Main Idea – Does the Great Commission apply to you? I'm assuming you are a Christian, and if so, how are you imitating the gospel and exporting the gospel to your sphere of influence? The question sounds elementary at first glance, but upon a deeper analysis, is there an argument for not obeying the Great Commission? If there is no argument, then how are you doing it? What does discipleship look like in your life? In this presentation, Rick helps us learn how to equip each other practicall...
Mar 02, 2024•1 hr
Newsflash: I have always known that something was wrong with me, but for the longest time, I did not know what it was. As I became older, I realized that it was an internal awkwardness, a sense of shame. To compensate for my soul dysfunction, crave acceptance or approval from others. I fell prey to self-generated value, even manipulating others to like me. I connected my value as a human to the opinions of others. It would have been a good day if they had given me the proverbial thumbs up. If th...
Feb 29, 2024•33 min
There is confusion among some believers over Christ’s words about loving others as we love ourselves. The sticking point is about what loving ourselves mean. Typically, it runs along the lines of, how do you love others as you love yourself as fallen people with mixed motives? I see the ditches, with self-hate in one and self-love in the other. How can I love myself correctly and appropriately care for my fellow image-bearers? This concept of loving God and others as I love myself is murky to me...
Feb 28, 2024•25 min
What is the schizophrenia unicorn? Understanding the truth behind the fictitious animal has more relevance than you might imagine. In Dr. Daniel Berger’s latest book, The Schizophrenia Unicorn, you will learn how the disorder label is a misdirection that offers false solutions with which so many people struggle. Finally, the truth about schizophrenia is here with the hope and help the struggling soul needs. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-498-a-deep-dive-analysis-of-schizophreni...
Feb 22, 2024•58 min
Love is a verb, an action word. It moves, always going in one direction or the other. Love will not work if it is not moving toward something. You will find it sandwiched between a subject and an object because, always expecting the subject to move it toward the object. Love standing alone is a neutral concept; it cannot survive without the giver and receiver. We see this threefold cooperative requirement of love in the most famous verse in the Bible. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/there-...
Feb 20, 2024•40 min
One of the most challenging things a person will ever do is tell others the secrets of who they really are. I’m not suggesting we blab all our stuff to everyone, or even our deepest, darkest secrets that only God knows, but there is wisdom in inviting at least one trusted friend into our more vulnerable thought life, a person who can handle our unsavory truth. Ironically, many Christians will not do this even though we’re all messed up. Nobody is perfect. Too bums on the street not talking about...
Feb 17, 2024•58 min
One of the most counterintuitive messages for anyone to accept is their inherent badness. Most people think poorly about themselves but they will not accept that overcoming what’s wrong with them is affirming those negative thoughts. If you think poorly of yourself, you’re on the right path to wholeness. The Bible’s declaration is we are worthless. We are not good people. The culture says you are somebody. They believe that people are inherently good. The Bible says we’re not that special. I’m n...
Feb 15, 2024•32 min
Sometimes, you can't stay at your local church. It's sad, but it happens all the time. You have to leave; when it happens, it's one of the more gut-wrenching seasons in any God-loving Christian's life. You love the Lord and His people, but for biblical and conscious reasons, and after gaining advice from helpful friends, the only option on the table is to find another local church. The good news is that there is a way to leave your church well. And there is a way to leave poorly. Read Here: http...
Feb 13, 2024•32 min
If you isolate a portion of Scripture from the narrative of the Bible’s story, you can misunderstand its meaning, complicating your life and triggering our unregenerate friends. Isolating texts is why some Christians struggle with many of the Bible’s declarations. Being worthless is one of those declarations. Imagine lifting Paul’s words about us from its context, isolating it from the whole counsel of God. It could be devastating. What did Paul mean? Why is such a harsh perspective on humanity ...
Feb 10, 2024•59 min
“I have a question about church discipline or how you handle a lack of church discipline or involvement from the church when trying to help someone. Though I don’t have a current situation, it appears that church assistance should involve counsel, instruction, and, in some cases, the church’s discipline to restore a brother or sister to Christ. What if this is not happening? Is there still a way to help those in need? How do you engage the church’s help when the church isn’t interested in follow...
Feb 08, 2024•31 min
The local church is the dearest place on earth, outside of our unique families. It is the one place where the body of Christ can gather to celebrate their King while caring for each other in all the various contexts possible. It is an amazing means of grace, where families can gather to spur one another to love and good works. Though all Christians should commit themselves to a local gathering, it’s not the case. What about you? Are you committed to your local church? Do you make it easy for you...
Feb 06, 2024•32 min
Self-esteem teaching has been around for a long time. It’s one of the central planks of the culture’s gospel, which is their attempt to feel better about themselves. They, like us, realize they need help. As ambassadors for Christ, we must know how to engage cultural friends, to help them while keeping an eye on their version of psychology to ensure we don’t fall for their traps. The fallacy and futility of the self-esteem gospel are everywhere, so learning to debunk it with competence and compa...
Feb 03, 2024•58 min
