Moving forward in faith—believing God can do all things well for me— is one of the hardest things to do in our fallen world, especially when the decisions are difficult. Because of the complexity of deciding big things to move forward with life, the main thing I must do is make sure I have God’s perspective on the thing I’m thinking about doing. Without His sovereign clarity, my sight-lines will lower to a man-centered view, which will spell disaster. Thus, to move forward while guided by God’s ...
Aug 16, 2022•35 min
Shows Main Idea – There is a difference between biblical counseling and the biblical counseling (BC) movement. Biblical counseling is a modern word for New Testament discipleship, God’s way of doing soul care. The BC Movement has been a vital means for elevating the need for every Christian to “counsel” others, and their usefulness has been substantial. But their relevancy has declined for many years. I will give you four reasons why. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-423-four-reason...
Aug 14, 2022•42 min
“When you and Lucia realized you hadn’t asked for forgiveness for several years, how did you work out the gospel in that situation? You couldn’t go back and cover all your past sins against each other at that time, correct? So how do you handle forgiving sin over such an extended period?” My friend’s question is vital because we all have a history with people. Sometimes, that history includes sinful interactions, and if you don’t have a sin plan that neutralizes sin at the moment, the accumulati...
Aug 12, 2022•34 min
Forgiveness is one of the most challenging concepts for Christians to come to terms with, especially when someone has hurt them. The recipients of unjust and unkind actions experience legitimate disappointment that does not always go away quickly. Fortunately, we do not have to despair: we have a suffering Savior, who went through many unjust trials, leaving us a template for how to think and respond when someone sins against us. Of course, as you might imagine, the pathway to follow Him through...
Aug 09, 2022•55 min
Shows Main Idea – When you think of fasting, where does it rank on your list of disciplines you employ regularly? I would imagine that going without food for an extended period is low on the list of most Christians' pursuit of holiness. I think we all know why. But what if I told you it's one of our most vital of the spiritual disciplines? Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-422-the-grace-that-comes-to-those-who-practice-fasting/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free cont...
Aug 07, 2022•36 min
Pride is a catch-all word for sin. You could say that pride is sin, and sin is pride. Pride is a helpful word in that it accurately describes our fallenness. It is a word we know and a word we understand. For example, when I say that I am proud, everyone immediately knows that it is unacceptable and I need help. Pride is like a warning alarm that calls the gospel-centered person to action. The term gets you thinking and moving in the right direction, but pride also fails in its analysis because ...
Aug 05, 2022•30 min
Our minds are an integral part of ourselves that establishes a definitive trajectory for how we live well in God’s world. Did you know the Christian mind evolves into four different types? Like mile-markers up the interstate, we begin with one type of mind, and then it evolves into better versions, aiming for the purest kind of mind a person can have, which is the mind of Christ. As you consider the four types, what kind of mind do you have? Where are you in this four-step progression? Let’s ana...
Aug 03, 2022•24 min
Shows Main Idea – Everyone knows about toxic masculinity, and there are just as many opinions to defend it as there are that denounce it. Have you ever thought about toxic femininity? Is it possible for a woman to be toxic? How do they become that way, and what is a path forward? The reasons they fall into the trap are real, and the dangers are tempting, but there is hope to become un-caught from this blinding sin of Christian, toxic femininity Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-421-t...
Aug 01, 2022•30 min
One of the primary responsibilities of a wife is to disciple her husband. She is the number one sanctifying human agent in his life. Nobody knows more about him than she does. To disciple any person well, you must know them well, and who knows a husband better than his wife? She has seen him during his best days, and she has experienced him on the worst days. What he does to keep others from knowing him is more apparent to her. Thus, the million dollar question is, how does a wife provide soul c...
Jul 29, 2022•30 min
What is contentment, and how do we acquire it? Did you know it is the gift of the person who can live well on any point of the abundance to emptiness spectrum? Finding contentment seems elusive in our frantic and distracted world. Other matters weigh in vying to control our hearts. Contentment becomes a memory, an old friend from another era when you reminisced, a day where quietness was commonplace, and needs were few. The question remains: how do you find it? Did you know contentment comes fro...
Jul 27, 2022•30 min
Shows Main Idea – Pastoral ministry is one of the more complex vocations a person could choose. We all have our stories. We know the statistics, the burnout rates, and the aftermath of a failed pastor. But there are more of them who do it well. Extremely well. The successes far outshine the failures, though we hardly talk about those doing it the right way. Goodness is not as tweetable as badness, but it’s worth asking; what makes a good pastor? What are some things you should look for in a pote...
Jul 25, 2022•30 min
Utopia does not exist. It’s a mirage in a desert, similar to the person who wants to be perfect. My goal here is not to rain on anyone’s parade but to help gain a better perspective on living well in God’s world while releasing ourselves from pursuing the unrealistic, nonexistent perfect life. My concern is that some of us are not comfortable in our own skin, and as we stare at imperfection in the face, we hope to find something a little more perfect. If you’re that striving soul, I have excelle...
Jul 22, 2022•33 min
Can a Christian walk away from God? To help work through this question, we must first recognize and accept that Christianity is not neat, and sin has never been respectful of our preferred categories. We also have to admit that this conversation is subjective in nature: we cannot know what is happening in a person’s heart or all the ancillary issues that contribute to why a person would “accept and reject” Christ. The Hebrew writer is suggesting there can be this kind of Christian—a believer who...
Jul 20, 2022•30 min
Shows Main Idea – Divorce is an unending complexity. Even those who breathe a sigh of relief because it is over are not immune from the challenges. Suppose you were living through an unwanted divorce, or know someone who is. The ex-spouse has primary custody of the children. What are some key things you would want to know, common mistakes people generally make, and proper responses to your spouse, children, and new lifestyle? Here are a few thoughts for the spouse whose world just turned upside ...
Jul 18, 2022•30 min
The Internet is an angry place. It’s one of the sadder commentaries about the Internet period in church history to see how it has become a context to put our sinful hearts on full display before the world. Revealing my wicked heart is nothing new to those who know me, but it is new to have a new place to display it. The Internet is that space for too many of us to lower the gate and march our words out before a world that is keen on finding opportunities to remind us why Christianity is a farce....
Jul 15, 2022•30 min
God is calling us to trust Him. There is a plan for this, and we are part of His plan. The tension, of course, is that He's the author of our stories, and we are not. Preferably, I want to be the writer of my story rather than trust the Sovereign story writer. During most of our daily affairs, we do trust God; it's only when things begin to fly sideways that the call to trust come under attack. When the heat in our lives intensifies, the temptation is to react in self-reliant ways because we're ...
Jul 13, 2022•30 min
Shows Main Idea – There are some issues where it creates emotional tension if you speak honestly and transparently from two contrary perspectives. We tend to be on one side or the other. Fair and balanced becomes lost with some of our causes. Sometimes we don’t want to cede any aspect of our talking point out of fear: “If we admit their argument has valid elements, we lose ground on our perspective.” Other times folks will overcorrect because of past injustices, i.e., the reparation effect. Rega...
Jul 11, 2022•30 min
We have a herd mentality that drives us to conformity. The temptation to conform to the status quo is alluring. Rare individuals want to stand out and take a stand that is counter to the group’s norms, drawing attention to ourselves that might be criticized. We know a bully culture will cancel us if we step out of line. Sadly, there are many voices who have something to say and should be saying it but they dare not to because of timidity or perhaps they desire approval. Nevertheless, there is a ...
Jul 08, 2022•30 min
Christian Legalism is the bane of religion. It’s the persistent nemesis in all of our hearts. Though we usually discuss legalism regarding our salvation, I’m speaking about how it affects our sanctification after being born again. Most Christians I encounter do not struggle with a works salvation mentality. Their real struggle is how they think about their performance after God regenerates them. They fully embrace Ephesians 2:8-9 as the only way to Christ, but there is a temptation to smuggle a ...
Jul 06, 2022•30 min
Shows Main Idea – Supporting Member: “I believe I have something to say, but I’m unsure how to say it, and I don’t know the mechanics of crafting a blog article that compels someone to hang with me. What are the secrets to writing well so that people will want to read what I have to say? What are some of the things you have learned that have worked to build a loyal following? I’m sure some tips and tricks from an experienced pro would help a person rise above the millions of bloggers out there w...
Jul 04, 2022•30 min
Typically, when people think about modesty, their minds immediately go to what a person wears and arbitrary preferences rather than the heart’s motivations that influence their external choices. Perhaps when I mention “modesty,” your impulse was similar: “Great, he will tell us what to wear!” If so, you’re normal. But my goal here is different from mandating universal clothing stipulations. I am not going to suggest what you should wear. I want to focus on something more vital—our hearts, the ge...
Jul 01, 2022•36 min
Social media is ubiquitous, and there are many redemptive applications of it. At Life Over Coffee, we talk about the redemptive uses of technology as we ponder about how to use this common grace mercy for God’s fame. But with all good things, there is always the insipid Adamic smell of death that lures people into the darker side of what should be a means of grace. Social media has many untoward temptations, one of those is the comparison trap that stirs a desire to compete with the culture’s vi...
Jun 29, 2022•31 min
One hundred out of one hundred people struggle with the fear of man. Caring about what others think about us is part of our Adamic packaging. I have never counseled a person who did not struggle with this problem to some degree. Our secular community calls it co-dependency or peer pressure. It hardly matters as long as you can biblically define what is happening and apply God’s solutions. In this case study, I’m going to address fear in the context of marriage. Specifically, insecurity as the in...
Jun 27, 2022•30 min
Mable came to me, exclaiming, “I’m frustrated! I am always approaching my husband with my sin, asking for his forgiveness, but he seems never to see his need to ask me for forgiveness. Many times he won’t even bother to forgive me. What am I to do? How can I respond to him when he shows no interest in working with me through our problems?” Her complaint is not unusual in relationships, married or otherwise. Her situation is probably the norm because folks do not mature equally or at the same pac...
Jun 24, 2022•34 min
There is an intrinsic nature to bitterness. The bitter person is like someone with a cup of poison. Each time they think about their problems, they take another sip. In most situations, the individual is not aware of what they are doing to themselves. It’s an unwitting form of self-sabotage. Perhaps they are aware, but the pain of their situation is so disappointing that they don’t care. From their painful perspective, it’s easier to grumble, complain, vent, and hurt. There is a better solution....
Jun 22, 2022•30 min
Shows Main Idea – Have you ever thought about how others think about you? I know you have because it’s a common impulse in all of us, though some folks overthink how they come across to others. It has too much control over their lives. What about you; what are your thoughts about God’s view of you? What do you think His opinion of you is? Did you know how you think God thinks about you is one of the most vital things you can think about? Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-415-how-does...
Jun 20, 2022•30 min
People ask me often for parenting advice. It’s a broad subject, and depending on the age of the children and a host of other factors, my response is always different. Sometimes I tell them what we did, not because we have figured things out or that there is a formula “out there” somewhere. There is not. If any of our children do well, it will be God’s grace. But if you were to ask me a few of the top things we taught our children, let’s start with these. Here are our top fifty things that we wan...
Jun 17, 2022•30 min
What would you say if you could share the top 50 things you would want your son to take into adulthood? If your son is young, you’re in a great spot to start teaching some of these things. If your son is in his teen years, ask the Father to give you the time, wisdom, and courage to share your heart with him. If your son is out of the home, it’s not too late to carry on what you’ve begun or build those relational bridges to communicate what’s vital to you to him. Here are the 50 things I shared w...
Jun 15, 2022•30 min
Shows Main Idea – There is an one-sided and perverse teaching that some Christians have pushed forward that wives should make themselves available for their husbands to keep them in the home, not looking for sex elsewhere. This perspective presumes the wife becomes the solution to a husband’s sexual desires and drive, plus the deterrent for extra-marital activity. Is this the proper way for a Christian woman to think about and respond to her husband? Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep...
Jun 13, 2022•30 min
It is not unusual for a marriage to be out-of-balance or spiritually off-kilter. There are many reasons for this problem between two formerly inseparable people who now have something between them that keeps them asymmetrical. Before addressing how to deal with a spouse who does not see a problem in their marriage, I have a few ideas of how these partners could have been so in love at the beginning and drift apart within a few years. Afterward, I will provide a few practical solutions for the sp...
Jun 08, 2022•30 min
