Why El Break?

you know. Andrew said, are you guys ready? Andrew producer, and I was like, what do you mean? Are we ready? It's been a year. I've been ready. It has been an insane like time and we are just so glad to be back. You know. I know a lot of people have been reaching out on social media asking where's life in Spanglish? And you know what is going on, Carlina. It breaks my heart every time, you know, and they don't let me post something. I'm like my new shoes.

They're like, but anyway, when his life and bands back, I'm like, okay, it's so true. You know, we've formed such a bond, in a connection with you guys, and it really has been an absence. I know, I can speak for myself and I know for you too, honey. But you know, there were some things happening, and I felt like I was in a predicament because I couldn't tell anybody what actually was going on behind the scenes. And all I kept saying was at stay tuned, you know,

we'll be back soon. And so I think that this episode, which we're just so glad to be back, we need to just focus a little bit on what happened and why we took such a long break, and you know, also talk about the exciting things that we have coming up this season. Yeah. No, for sure, it's been a long time. You know. The pandemic happened that that was

number one. Me and Carolina got separated. We were no longer in the studio together because, as you guys know what, I worked for Power, Carolina worked with K to you, but we were on the same floor so we could just come together and record a new episode every week. They separated us the Lockdown, King Covid took over and then boom, while I'm working from I almost died. I love how nonchalante she is, and she's like, and then

I'm working from home and then I almost died. But yes, I know, and I know, like I'm not making light of it, but well, you know, at this point, it's like I have to. It's like, okay, I'm here. I made it. But you know, as a lot of you may know if you follow me, you follow my social media, I suffered a stroke last summer. Now it's been a year now, and you know, I'm just grateful I'm here.

I made it to the other side. And you know, luckily there's no luck involving a stroke, but luckily it happened on my right side, which didn't affect my cognitive so it's like my memory, my speech, everything is perfectly fine. It just affected my mobility on the left side of my body. So it's like I still rehab and I still have some limitations, but I was able to jump back into work and I've been back at work full time for months now and here I am. Now it's

time to relaunch life and span. Yeah, well you were missed.

I mean, I will say this. You know, normally, when something happens to your friends, even if they get the flu, you find a way to either get them some soup, you want to pick them up, you know, you you want to get some emergency and things like that, and you drop it off at their house, and like, because of the pandemic, I feel like it made it so much worse because there were times where I wanted to just come and see you and spend time with you,

and but it wasn't impossible. I didn't see anybody, like I feel like, you know, the stroke happening and the pandemic not allowing me to be around anyone, but you know, my very close circle, which was my two sisters and my husband, because I was terrified. I'm like, imagine me rehabing from a stroke and then somebody comes visit me and I catch COVID and then the guy I'm like, Jesus Christ, I can't make it through this and then catch COVID and die. So it was just it was horrible.

You know, I missed you, I missed everyone. And if everyone wanted to come see me and I can have him to say I'm sorry, you can't. I can't risk catching COVID and your person. I'm sure everyone was being careful, but it's just that one instance you know, well, you just don't know. And it's like, you know, Honey doesn't have the nine lives, you know what, I just wanted to take care of after that. Yeah, I'm not got that,

I know. But you know the thing that I was saying to my husband when we were talking about it, we were discussing and I said, you know, I just feel so helpless, like I am a helper, you know, and I know that about myself, and I know that, you know, whenever somebody that I love is not well, I want to be there for them. And you know, so I guess that the way that I supplemented that was just by being there on the phone. And I said to Honey, I was like, whenever you want me,

I am here for you. I'll listen. You know, we can just even if you just want to leave the phone on and I'm in the background whatever. But you know, it was just I think it's challenging sometimes for people because you need to know when to take a step back and give people the space that they're asking for. And I think that was pretty challenging, and you know, I'm just glad, you know, everyone understood. So it was just a lot, you know, between COVID rehabbing the wintertime.

They like savings. It was just like, I had the worst year my life last year. Thank god, I am an amazing space now, but last year was challenging. Let's not forget people are dying, people we know are catching COVID hospital. It was just horrible, you know, I'm just grab you know. Things are better now, yeah, definitely, and so now we're moving forward. But we wanted to give you guys an explanation as to why, you know, I mean, because I know people were asking me and I was

trying to find creative ways to say new things. And then after I was just like management, I don't know. I was like running out of lies because I didn't want to tell your story, you know, and I've always told people this is your story to tell. This is not for me to tell anybody, you know. So when people came out and they were like, did you hear

what happened to honey, I'm like, did I hear? I knew, but I didn't say anything, And it's like, you know, it got me thinking, are you the type of person that somebody can tell a secret to and it'll never go anywhere? Or are you the type of person that's like dying to tell other people's secrets because truth earlier. I don't know. It's just like because sometimes I tell you secrets and sometimes I tell no many secrets or

my sisters. It's weird. I'll never like blast it or like tell someone you would be mad at me for telling. But I usually have to tell one person at least. It just kills me. I wish I could say, no, your secrets, sake with me. But I gotta tell one person. But I know I know who I can tell that

won't tell. Well, well, it's like, you know, then go get you know what I mean, Like you have to tell that one person that you know it's never gonna leave that person that you can trust them because you don't want to be looked at as a person who is untrustworthy. But then again, it's like I need to get this out. This is too big for me to hold onto by myself, and especially with everything that was going on last year, you know what I mean, Like

it was so heavy. So to have news like that, you know, I had to confide to my husband Mark, that was really the only person, you know, it was super hard. And you know what, Carolina, I told from work wise, I told maybe, like I told Auntie Martinez, you and and my two bosses, that was it, I really, because it's just like I don't want this out. I don't want the story out the wrong way. But you know, people I work with closely daily, especially you two are

mature women. You are moms, you know, and you are friends and people that I can trust. So it's like it was a hard decision though, because I had friends from high school. You know. I had one friend that was like, I feel like he doesn't feel close to me anymore because I didn't tell him. You called me. He's like, I can't believe you did this to me and you didn't tell me, And I'm like, relax, bro,

it's not about you. It's about my decision and what I felt comfortable with and when I felt I didn't feel comfortable sharing for nine months and your social media, Carolina, it was so hard trying to like not say anything and continue living life and be visible. It was the hardest thing I had to do. It made me realize, like, you know what, you don't have to put your life on social media every day, And now I go three

or four days without posting anything. About my life because I'm like, you know what, nine months you didn't post anything that was happening in actuality. Now you can actually go a day, a week, a month you don't have You're not hey, look who they're Yeah, I know, I'm sorry guys. You know what, my dog is actually here right now because you know it's work from home life.

But no, you know what You're you were so creative in how you stayed engaged with people, and it was something that was so admirable to me because you know, there were so many situations where I find myself like not posting or you know, not doing anything. I'm like, she just suffered a stroke, man, I said, and she's finding ways to like throwback pictures to like make it seem like she is out on the stoop right now

in real time. I don't know how you did it, but I was just admiring the fact that you had

the ability to do that. But when you talk about your friend from high school, like, let's just like touch on that for a second, because like, there are so many times when things happen in our lives where people make it about them, you know, where I can't believe that you did this to me, when you're the one going through something and you're just trying to figure it out and you don't need that extra pressure from someone to make you feel even worse about not sharing it

with them. You know, it's unbelievable. Like, as adults at this point, we have to know what to like just fall back, you know what. It's not that you wanted to keep the secret from me, it's just you weren't

ready to share it with me. Well, but I also think that it speaks volumes about people and kind of like how yeah, yeah, how you process things, you know, because it's like it's like his only concern for like the first five minutes of the conversation was not being involved, not knowing people, not telling him, Like I couldn't believe that. And then you know, eventually it took a turn towards it took a turn towards like how are you doing.

But at the beginning of the conversation was all like I am offended, I am appalled, I implored, and I'm like, okay, laughed, You'll be fine now, you know. But I think as human beings, though, we have to protect ourselves, Like I think it was smart for you to only reveal this to a certain number of people, you know what I mean, Because it's like the more people you tell your story to, the more chances it's going to get out there. And you know, and that's what I didn't want. I wanted

to control the narrative. And honestly, Carle, I did not want to share anything sad, sappy, depressing. You know, there are some people that use, you know, instances like this to get attention on social media and to get comments and prayer hands, and I didn't want any of that. I wanted to show when I was close to overcoming what happened, because I wanted it to be more of like, you can do this too, whatever you're dealing with, you got this, We're gonna overcome. I wanted it to be

more about strength, power, resilience, hope, you know what. You know, I encourage people. If you haven't seen the video, it's at um I Am Honey. Joernman is at your Instagram so you guys can check it out. It's in the I G t V section. You can find it there. But it's what I wanted it to be. I just wanted to be like like Hennessy, never stopping that it's never settled. But you know what, though, honey, you also learned so much throughout COVID, and I wanted to just

like take your temperature. What is like the biggest thing that you got out of this time other than you know, obviously like the biggest thing, which was overcoming the stroke, but like, what was something that really stood out to you during this time of COVID that you feel like they're people can maybe benefits. I don't know, there's so many different things, but I'm laughing because I'm thinking, like, but did you do not need to eat out three times a day? You can cook your old food because

a dead as used to eat out. You don't either order have delivery. And now it's just like for the fast year, cooking every single meal at home with the exception of maybe taking a risk and going out to eat. It's just like, yo, you can do this. You can work because I always just worked, Caroline. I'm not even gonna lie to you. It was always just about work, work, work, work, work, work. Now it's more about like home balance. Hey, there you go.

That's the word. Just balancing things out, you know, spending time to talk to my husband without looking on my phone or without tweeting something. It was just more about like, yo, you got this, you can do different things, pivoting people's

favor woman. I noticed that about you, honey too, because you know, before I used to be so envious, and like envious in a healthy way that like I just you know, there's something about me where I'll record a bunch of stuff and then I'll never post it or I'll never put it up because I'm, you know, myself, like nobody cares if I'm eating this or doing this. And I used to see you you were constantly posting things and like you know, and I used to say, gosh,

I gotta get better about that. I gotta do more to engage with my audience and things like that. And then I noticed that there was a definite shift after what happened for you. And now it's like not that I didn't enjoy it before, but I enjoy your posts even more now because I know that they're meaningful, you know. Yeah, Now it's like I take my time. It's it's not like a bunch of ship before, which was like Okay, I'm out, I'm here, I'm gonna concert, I'm here. I'm

changing my shoes, I'm getting my nakeup done by somebody. Oh, I'm at a photo shoot. It was just constant, like content of everything that was happening in my life. Now it's I'm being much more careful like what I post, even though I do have to get back to my old ways. But you know what, Caroline, get there. I didn't feel comfortable because you know, when you have a stroke, you know, sometimes your speech is affected your face, you know, like I had trooping on the left side of my face.

Just now I feel comfortable with the way I look again. So I had to step back from the camera because it wasn't who I was, It wasn't what I looked like, and I didn't want to put that out there. You know what I want. I never wanted people to pity me. I never wanted people to feel sad. And I went, oh my god, Bendy would have said, I never wanted. I just wanted to be like, yo, you're a beast, You're a warrior. You know That's what I wanted. But

while I skilled back, you pushed forward. And it made me so happy, and it made me so proud because I was like, look at Carolina sharing, when did you decide you were going to share more. I was trying so hard, you know, I mean, listen, during COVID, we caught COVID um. My husband actually we pinpointed him. He was the one who brought it home. Because remember, my kids weren't going to school, I wasn't being social. We

were very conservative, like we were literally staying home. I did not even enter a store, honey, when I tell you, I was doing drive up curbside everything. Like I was the person who was literally wiping down their groceries and stuff like that. If you remember that crazy time. And so after my husband caught it and we all got it, I ended up losing my nanny. You guys, my nanny freaking bounced and left me with like nobody to help me take care of my house, my kids, like nothing.

And you know, listen, I know it's a privilege, and I know that I'm very fortunate that I could even have somebody, you know what I mean. And at that time, we said to her, look, we're we're buckling down, Like the only person who's leaving the house is my husband. And he had because he has to go to work. You know, I had the ability to work from home.

He didn't, and so, you know, it was one of those things where it was just like wow, I got like hit in the face with just a bunch of responsibilities that I never really had to worry about before, you know, so like how did that work out? It was probably one of the more challenging things that happened in my life. Like, I mean, honestly, I was sitting around, I had mountains of laundry, like on the couch by

the way, we had a new puppy. My kids aren't going to school, the dog is running away with socks. I'm trying to figure out what to make for dinner. I mean, it was just so overwhelming. Don't a bit comming get them in the middle of COVID, I know, right, And I said, I was like I said to myself, I was like, why on earth would I ever agree to allow my husband to have this freaking dog? But no, it was me. And then he gets to go to work,

he gets to leave the house, you know. But then it was just like, you know, I feel like, if anything, the one thing that I got out of that is that our family is so solid now, you know, we found a way my kids. Question, do you feel like a better mom. Now, you know, I feel like a different mom. You know. I know that I've always been

a great mother to my kids. I've always been very connected, and that was like one of the things that I loved about working on a morning show was that I had the ability to take my kids to their after school activities, to be that mom that would do all of those things. You know. I know some moms that work feel terrible, you know, like I don't get to be around as much. So I guess lucky you that, you know, you get to be arounding the afternoons a d percent. But no, you know what it is. It's

like my husband and I became closer. He started it to see the things that I was doing where he was like wow, like damn, like how are you doing this all? You know? And it's like that's what I got out of it was the acknowledgement, Like sometimes you don't mind carrying the heavy load as long as somebody acknowledges you or recognizes you, you know, Like that whole phrase about being seen. I think a lot of people just want to be seen, you know, like they want

to have somebody say to them. I can't believe you're doing all of these things, you know. So for me, I guess like just having that bond with my family that I know they will never forget it. Like my boys before, like you were saying, I would go to industry things on a Wednesday night not put them to bed, or I would have to go to like you know, an event in the middle of the afternoon and not get home until eight o'clock and they had already had

their whole day, you know. But like figuring out, like you needed to balance on how to also set my boundaries while at home, because now it all just kind of blurs together, you know, it all just blurs together, and you gotta find sayes Like you say, there is no separation now between my work life and I start working in PAGs at seven am before I would get into like nine ten, So it's like three hours has been added to my work day. And no matter what time it is, I will jump on my computer at

work because it's right there. Before I would leave my computer at work, it was there, my office was there. Now No now my office is wherever I am. Well, you know what I mean. It's true, and there are a lot of people where relationships like where I say, like, I built the relationship with my husband and my kids, and you know, we got through this whole thing together. But like there are certain people who I really did during this time, had to say, you know what, this

isn't healthy for me. You know, I had a friend who was extremely critical, like what okay. So for example, like on the part of Long Island where I live at, people throw money at their problems, right like, oh, we'll just hire a new nanny, We'll just hire a cleaning lady, We'll just hire this or hire that. I'm like, first of all, I'm super scared of inviting anybody into my home.

And I'm going back like, however, many months like not now, you know, I think that we've also like we we've worked through a lot of those things, and I think

that we feel a little bit more freedom now. But you know, my I would go to my friend almost to just vent and like ask her to listen to me, and she was constantly trying to fix my problem, like you need to hire maid, you need to hire new nanny, And I'm like, I don't want to just introduce random people to my kids, Like if you're going to come into my home, you're gonna grow and be a part of the family. Like that's how we've always handled, you know,

people in our home. And so it got to a point where I was like, you know, I think I might need to take a break from this person because I just I'm not appreciating to input and the pressure. But like, did you ever have to cut anybody out throughout this time, like or have you just been kind of a little bit more distant, Like how have the relationships fired? Um? No, pretty much everyone that was important and anyone who's been a part of my life, you know,

for my whole life. You know, I know a lot of my ens from high school, they were all solid. Everyone was you know, just good, amazing people. Like I didn't lose anyone that I truly loved or that was truly important in my life. Yeah. No, And I'm not saying I'm not speaking ill of this friend. I felt like I just needed some space, you know, because it's like sometimes you just want to tell people how you feel.

You don't want them to solve your problems, Like I wasn't going to you to something, and I'm like, and it's not about the money for me, It's about the relationship, Like I want my kids to not feel like there's a rotating door, you know, Like some people don't care, they'll hire whoever. They're just like, I need to get my bathrooms clean, you know. I'm like, no, No, it's your life, it's your kids. And it's just there's so

many weird people out your Carolina. Honestly, Like, if you're gonna have these people, let's say, helping your kids with baiting, with dressing you have, there's gonna be somebody you trust and somebody who's part of your family. You can't just have transient people every few months, a new person with your two little voice, you know what I'm saying exactly.

And that's why it's been even harder, you know, Like now we're getting back into the rhythm of like a lot of people are going back into the station, a lot of people are going back into work, and I you know, I just said I need some flexibility right now.

And that's really kind of like the key for me is I need you guys to be flexible and understand like I still got these two little boys that I'm taking care of, you know, And it's like, slowly but surely, I know the right person is going to come along. Don't get me started on finding childcare right now during the pandemic. Girl, you know what's like somebody who would have worked for ten an hour before, let's say they're not trying to do it now. Girl, you crazy. I'm

living my life. I'm in Mexico right now. And imagine let's say you're a Dominican right yeah, you can go back to Dominican Republic. Your unemployment hit your bank account every week. You're stacked. Girl? You are you a p P P? Who is rich? Okay, give me all of the acronyms. I don't care. Give them all to me. I need it or you know that's really I feel like we have so much that we need to talk about, so many things that we need to cover that we've

missed throughout the time. But I just wanted this first episode back to let you guys know like where we are, what space we're in, you know, and like we're going to get back to the salon and answering your questions. You know what's crazy. I saw Lebron James so in the barbershop. I saw it, like, come up on my TV s, I say, Carolina, actually that was supposed to

be us in the damn Salon. Actual, absolutely no, this is just a great way for us to come back in and let you know that we've been thinking about you and we're just so glad that we can get back on track. And you know, our ideal situation would be as many episodes as we can and cover the topics that you guys want to talk about. You know for sure, because I'm sorry. This podcast is like none other, and you know we were innovators when it comes to this,

you know, life and Spanguish podcast, and it's good. You know New Yorker's people in Jersey, you know Latina's second generation. They just need us. They need what we're doing here, and we're here to serve. We're gonna give it to you. I know, I love it, and you know, whether it is tips on what we're eating. I saw Honey was pouring herself some coffee, some cafe Bustello with some evaporated milk or some ship. I think that's hard over there. Listen.

I think that. Listen. I saw it on TikTok and I think meal my mom used to make Modri Sonyando with it. That's a Dominican drink where you mix orange juice with a little sugar, a little vanilla, and it is like a drink that we live by. So I tried it with a little brown sugar. But I need to stay off TikTok because I don't want to get that drinking that milk. I'm sure that milk gotta be fanning us out. Oh my gosh, come on, no, But we want to give you our tips and our tricks.

And you know, honey, you were mentioning something about like me getting out there, putting myself out there. I was doing reels, I was doing a bunch of stuff and then like I've just found that with the kids going back to school, Carly. First of all, I'm like, how does this mish look so good? Remember? Remember when I used to think you had hair makeup for the morning? Was yo? Not? Because you do an amazing job. And you know what's crazy? I told I told Bella, do

you see Carolina's hair? And She's like, listen, you have different here like Carolina. You got Domniican here. It's not gonna work out that way. Because I was like, yo, why I can't do that ship every morning? My, oh my gosh, I gotta be honest with you. I'm a one trick pony man. I mean, I know how to make my face one way. That's it. That's what you're getting now. But you look good in those videos. I'm like, how is this woman doing this? Because I knew you

weren't bringing in no hair makeup to the house. How are you kidding me? You're being so creative and so innovative with the videos. I loved it, and I was like, she's stepping out of her comfort zone. And I knew, you know, that wasn't like your deal. You didn't want to look silly, you didn't want to look like you were trying. So I was surprised that you even did it. But you did it perfectly, like some of your videos walking where you did one where you were like fake

go into an award show. Oh my gosh, wait, Yeah that was hilarious. That was the thing. The inauguration, I think it was when Yeah, it was like think about something long ago. That was yeah, but I remember it because I was like, Yo, this is fucking brilliant. I wish I could have done this too. I was jealous, good jealous, but I was like, yeah, she's killing it. I'm gonna try to get back on track though, No, definitely. I mean I and I look at my son and

I tell him all the time. I'm like, you know, whenever you see a video that you think is funny, tell mama, because like I want to do things that they think are cool too, you know. So we have so much more in store for you, guys, and you know how you can reach us life in Spanguish. We have our Instagram at l I Spanglish, and we want your emails. We want you to like interact with us, tell us what you're feeling, what have you been going through, and how can we help you? For sure, man, send

us the emails. We'll take some of your letters. We'll talk about it on air. But you know, I want to say thank you to everyone that you know has been checking for the podcast. You know, we took a one year break. That's a long time, and for you to still remember still ask them we're coming back in means the world to me, you know, because some people girls, some people forget about maybe in relationships, they forget about it in a week for sure. So so still be

checking for our podcast. That's super dope, and we're gonna give you some amazing content. Absolutely, so definitely keep checking back, like and subscribe, and whenever new episodes come out, you will know about it. We love that we are back in the hot seat with the hot mics. Can I say something? Okay right now, I'm recording my pgs right and I didn't put it broad. I got so much boom sweat right now, I'm like, God, damn it, this air condition even working. No, girl, you got them humidities,

that's what they call them. The humidities are out. This man is burning me up in here. Boat. It is not a good look. Baby. No, at least I'm home, but I'm burning up my boobs and losing weight right now, and I can't stand to lose the bitches. Okay, anyway, fan about and guys, like we said, you can always follow us. I'm out the real Carolina, Honey. Give them your Instagram so they can check out you and everything

that you've been up. Honey German. Yeah, I'm gonna see how snatcht We need to do an entire episode on the tips that you. You look so incredible, having a skin. Everything is real, not the glope is really really. I put have a video over the weekend. I'm like that I could have been a hot, batty oldest time if I just lost some damn weight. You don't think I saw you in those bike shorts, honey, our boss sauce and she put the hard eyes. I'm like, oh god,

she is looking good. Guys, thank you so much for joining us on. Like we said, like and subscribe and make a comment so that we know that you are there and you're listening, and we just are so glad to be back at life. And I'm so glad I ain't cry. Well, I didn't want you to cry. This was just an overview, So we're gonna like your later. I'm gonna make you cry later, absolutely, but it'll be crying in a good way. It'll be cathartic for all

of us. Life in Spanglish is a production of Life in Spanglish Productions in part A Ship with I Heards Michael Dura Podcast Network