Understanding the Term Latinx

can't avoid. And I came across an article this is now a couple of weeks ago that I really wanted to bring up because I feel like is it a sensitive subject? This is my question to you, honey, And I want to bring this question to our podcast because I feel like it's something that isn't being discussed at length because I feel like people are too afraid to touch it. We're so pc now, we are so worried about offending people that we are not speaking our truth.

So let me just give you the background. You know Richie Torres, right, yeah, I love him. If you're not from New York, um, Richie Torres, he represents the South

Bronx and uh. He was recently quoted as saying that he never heard anyone locally using the term latin X. Do the majority of Hispanics actually use the term latin x. So this tweet stood out to me because I'm gonna be fully transparent and forth right and let you all know I never understood latin X. I know it's been in use for the past what five six years, but but more so in recent years, and I've always been confused by it. But I never wanted to not look

woke per se. You know, I know it's crazy, right, you know. I was recording something earlier this week and somebody was there and they were like born raised in New York, Dominican, and they were interviewing me, and they asked, how do you feel being Latins Latins? Thinks like they just couldn't even say the word Latins, like it was like a Hispanic person. And that goes to show you how highly unpopular the word is among Hispanics and Latinos. So, like,

you know, there's tons of studies on this word. It's just not popular. It's and they actually view it as exclusionary to everyday people. Yeah, it's very I always felt like it was a great idea to make it gender neutral so that the LGBTQ community didn't feel like they had to identify with being a Latina feminina or Latino masculino. But I felt like that's where it should have ended me myself. I don't use the term. I still refer to myself as a Latina and nobody in my life

uses the term. And I have like forty five cousins. I've never heard anyone say I'm a latin X never yet. It's trendy. Yeah, it's something that you know, companies love to use, but it's it's weird because I feel like media companies and even advocacy groups they've started to shy away from it and are no longer even using it. It's eating a weight. It was a great idea, but Latinos didn't embrace it the way I guess people thought they would. You took the words out of my mouth.

I think that when a community embraces something and they really start to adopt it and they start to use it, and I don't believe that we as a community have agreed with that label per se. You know. So so for example, something that you just said, um really hit me. We have always been taught to either add the masculine

or the feminine Latino Latino Latinos in general. Okay, I would never ever want to make somebody else feel badly, so I can understand the intentions of latin X. But I think that it's been highlighted more by companies, by organizations, by people who are not Latinos honest, because I am not not one of my family members, not my mother, my father, my cousins, my brothers, sisters, none of us have ever used that, not even the next generation, which are my nieces, my nephews, you know, my kids. It's

not something that is in practice with us. But then again, there's that other side of me that feels like, well, wait a minute. If there is a small population of our people or our community that feels comfortable with that, who are we to say that it's not I don't know. I feel like it's just so hard to change something that big and something that is our language. How are we going to change being a Latina to an English word? I'm a latin XT. Like you know what I'm saying.

It's just like you're taking You're giving us something but then taking something away in the same breath. You're taking away our language. If you if you see it that way, I feel like this is a personal choice. I feel like, if if you want to use it in a way that's non gendered, non binary, and very inclusive, go for it.

But if I know what my gender is and I had, and I've identified as a Latina since the moment I was born, I don't have to change my label just because a media company says this is the new term that we're going to use. I saw an ad the other day, and I'm not going to name the company because obviously I don't think that there was any malintent with it, and that's the reason why I won't name

the company. I think that they thought that they were being very forward thinking by using latin X in this certain promotion, and it was actually on Telemundo, which is obviously a Spanish language station, and I was very surprised by it because I thought, Okay, here's this big company trying to get in and I feel like that's what it is. They're trying to get in on on something where I feel like their message could have resonated a whole lot more if they were just authentic with it.

I think that they were trying to be trendy, you know, by using Latin X and trying to trying to showcase like a certain demographic. And I'm not sure that everybody has really adopted it or everybody feels comfortable using it, like much like you said, I feel more comfortable calling my off of Latina because that's who I am. But who am I to take that away from somebody else. NBC did a study and the word is preferred by like only two percent of the Latino community. It's not

something that people love and use all the time. But media companies are using it to appear progressive, I guess, to appear woke and very in tune with what's happening right now. They also cater a lot to Gen Z millennials and you know that younger generation that's coming up that they probably equate with one day just using that term altogether. So I guess they're trying to be progressive

and they're trying to think ahead. Meanwhile, forgetting everybody who's used latino and latino their entire life, Well, now, how do you have a question for you? Because you are more in tune with a lot of the Latin artists, like I know you listen to Bad Bunny, which, by the way, I listened to the album It's fantastic um. But Bad Bunny does use the term a lot. So do you think that that really might be it? Because he is somebody who speaks to gen Z and millennials

and things like that. I would love to hear your perspective on that. But Bad Bunny he's very LGBTQ friendly. He has spoken out about, you know, crimes against the trance community. He's also a gender bender himself, you know, Bad Bunny has no problem with portraying himself as a

woman in his videos. He's super dope, you know. So I can see why he would use the term because he's trying to push you know, progressiveness into maybe, let's say, people in Puerto Rico, maybe people in the Dominican Republic who are not, as I guess, woke and accepting of different lifestyles. So I think he's just like, I'm going

to take the label off of myself. I'm not a lot, you know, I'm a Latin X. And then you know what, maybe things will start to change in countries where people are still being killed because of how they choose to identify. What he's doing is amazing. I love him. He's spearheading the movement and he's just putting it out there. You know what, It's not about your gender, it's not about male or female. It's about how you identify. And I can definitely see him being one of those artists that

would prefer to use that term. I do applaud bad Money for the things that he's doing to bring the awareness for you know, the l g B t Q I a community, but also I just think as a whole, the black and brown communities have a lot of work to do when it comes to understanding and accepting what this means to their families and their communities. For example, the other day, and just to kind of segue into this whole conversation, my sons were listening to a song.

We were driving in the car and there's a song called Boyfriend. I don't know if you've ever heard it by Dove Cameron, and she says that she can do better than her boyfriend. And my kids were very confused by that. They said, well, wait a minute, how can she be a better boyfriend than him if she's a girl.

And I said, well, honey, I said, you know, there are different types of relationships, and so I was explaining to them how women can love women and men can love men, and how this young woman who's singing in the song, because this was brought up in the car, is maybe explaining to this girl that she has different feelings for her and maybe that she could take the

place of what her boyfriend isn't doing. So I'm explaining this to my kids, and so my little guy Asher looks at me and he says, Mommy, do you think it was hard for little nos X? And I said, what do you mean, honey, And he goes, well, because little nos X is gay? And I said he is gay. And I said, and you know what, Ash, I said, that is a very good question because little nos X has actually spoken out about how difficult it has been for him to be a gay man in the music industry.

This is my six and my eight year old, honey, And the realization came to me. My parents never had conversations like this with me about homosexuality, heterosexuality, I mean anything that was not a thing that there was zero conversation. Yeah, And so for me, I looked at it as an educational moment. It was challenging. I'll be honest, because I feel like you have to put it through a filter of what can a six and an eight year old

really understand? And so I said to him, I said, well, where did you hear about Little Nozas And he said, oh, I remember at the awards we were watching the I Heart Radio Music Awards together. When he was accepting his award, he had mentioned that it was difficult for him, and so I explained to him about how tough it's been for Little Nozex in the indust Right now, that being said, he said to me, he goes, Mommy, isn't weird for

a boy to like another boy? And I said, oh my gosh, ash or No, I said, what I said, what he feels for another boy feels natural to him. I said, just like when you get older, you're going to feel something that's natural to you. Whether it is liking a boy or liking a girl, that is going to feel right for you. I said, So, if there was anybody in our family who was gay, would you still love them? And he said yes, and I said absolutely, I said, and that's the reason why it's not weird.

I said, It's just something that may not feel natural to you. But when I got out of that, car I was like, oh my gosh, I hope I did the right I don't know what I said. I like, you know, you're just going through all of these things in your head and you're trying to do the right thing because this isn't the same world that we grew up in. And you know what, Carolina, I thank you so much for not passing along. You know, these toxic traits that some of our parents had and which some

of our parents still have to this day. And you know, being open enough with your kids and and being so forward thinking and opening up their mind at such a young age as to the differences between love and different people. And it may not it may not be for you, but it's for some for other people. Because you know my family, we have instances of you know, people come out as gay, and some people are not accepting older people especially It's just like to them, it's just like,

but what happened, what went wrong? Nothing went wrong? Shut your ass down. This is not for you. You already lived your life. Don't worry about this, kid. And I'm saying so you the fact that your mind is here, that it gives me so much hope that the next few generation of parents will no longer be the generation of parents that I had that are hateful over someone's sexual preference or who they love. Because that Carolina breaks

my heart. I find it absolutely disgusting and it's it's just a sensitive topic for me and someone I love very, very dearly. I decided to come out and it just wasn't meant the best way by my family, especially my mom. And I'm like, first of all, this is not even your child. I need you to take multiple seats. Lady. You already raised all your kids, you already had all your marriages. This is not for you to give your opinion. She would kill me or she would hurt me speaking

like this right now. But is a fact. And I thank you man. You are that new mom that this world needs. I'm trying, you know. The thing that I always think of is that one day my child is going to be in middle school and there's gonna be a child who might be questioning themselves whether they want to come out as gay or queer, or if they're trans. These are realities of life. This is happening whether people

like it or not. And I would never want my child to be the person to shun them, or ridicule them, or make them feel terrible about being who they are. I can't control my children's actions, but what I can do is try to educate them now now at six and a. And that's why I said, it's like I looked. I I sat there in the car, and I'm thinking

of myself. My kid is six. He heard one thing on an award show and that's stuck with him so that when Little nos X came on, he asked me, Mommy, was it hard for That means that they are comprehending and understanding so much more than we give them credit for. And that's where I think that we need to step up as parents to make that change, you know, at the end of the day, you know, circling back to the Latin X term, I feel like it's a personal choice.

If you feel like that's what you identify as, by all means, go for it. You know. I don't see it as a negative thing. I don't see it as something that should be adopted by everyone. I just think it's just like whatever label you choose to select for yourself, let that be it. You know. I don't think it's a negative thing. I think it is that we have not practiced using it enough. I think that it's a foreign thing for us, because we've been conditioned to say Latino,

Latino for basically our whole lives, you know. And don't get me started on this. Because we were doing a evaluation for my son the other day and they pulled up his paperwork and on the paperwork, they had him listed as non Latino. And so I called the school and this is interesting. So I called the school and I said, you know, hi, I'd like to speak to, you know, the supervisor who was running the meeting and everything. And they said, oh, we can take a note for

her because she isn't here. And I said, I just need to adjust something on my child's paperwork. And they said, oh, what is the problem. Is this name misspelled? Is at this? And I said no, I noticed that he's listed as non Latino and that is not true. And the woman kind of giggled and she was like oh, And I said, I go, that's very important to me. I said, and I need somebody to change that because I am Latino. My child is fifty Latino, period, and a story it

needs to be documented. So I think that it's very interesting that we're having this conversation right now because in the future, will my child say I'm latin X, Well, he says, you know what I mean. So that's where I feel like we are really opening this conversation for people to maybe examine how are they gonna use it moving forward or how are we going to identify moving forward? And there are plenty of people who will tell me

that my kids are white passing. Yes they are, and they are white boys with blue eyes and blonde hair are and they are Latinos through and through. You can't take that away from them, Like I have tons of cousins that are white passing. These girls open their mouth, girl, and it's the most Dominican ship you'll ever hear in your life. You can't take you, you know, with the

latin X term. One last thing I'll say is I am all for, you know, moving away from the masculine term Latino to generalize us all because obviously we're not all men, were not all masculine, So it's just like, use whatever term is good for you. But if it was, I guess too, and the term being a masculine term, I guess I can see me all for it. I can see that. Yeah, well let's move it to the salon because we got a submission. And I want to bring this up to you because I would love see.

The thing is, Honey and I are so different, and that's what I love about this podcast. Because Honey is raw, she is unedited. I always have to take the space of like, well, I'm a mom and I would do the nice thing, and that's really genuinely who I am, though, you know what I mean. So we we both kind of go back to our roots when it comes to things like this. This is great. So our listener, Teresa, I'm gonna paraphrase is basically she wrote us an email

saying that she listens and loves the podcast. Teresa, thank you so so much. I love that you're listening, And she said, I am not even a Latina, but I love listening to you guys. You remind me a lot of me and my cousins. We are Italian and we totally identify with the topics that you guys talk about. Now, I want to ask you guys a question. I hate my friend's new friend. I don't want her hanging out with us. How do I tell her it's definitely caused

a space in our relationship. I don't want to lose my friend, but I really don't want to hang out with this new check. Okay, Teresa, here we go. I'm gonna unleash Honey on you right now because I know that Honey has got a lot to say, So go ahead. How do you deal with it when your friend has a new person in their life that you don't really approve of. First of all, you don't have the right to bring new people into my life. Oh, I'm gonna

go straight off the rip with it. Yeah, you met your home girl at work, you love her, you love weird ship. I don't got to accept that I didn't choose this friend. I chose you a bit. That's like when you invite somebody somewhere and they bring somebody who the hell said you can bring a plus one? So over there. If that's your home girl and y'all vibe and y'all are jelling, that's cool. But you know what, Teresa, if you don't like this new person, it'sn't that mandatory

that this be your friend. Your home girl got a new friend, y'all do your thing over there, but let it be one of on me and you and are other mutual friends that I'm obviously accepting of and I have a good time with. You shouldn't be subjected to hang out with nobody that you're not feeling. That's like you going on a date with a man you never even met. Talk about I met this guy and I'm dating him. Girl, let's date him together? Bitch? Absolutely not.

That's not my type. I don't like him. You don't want to pick him off a bumble? Why I gotta date him too? Now? No? Immediately, No, immediately, No, especially if you don't like her, if you hate her, But how do you say it? Honey? But like, how do you say it to her? That's my issue. It's like, how do you even approach the conversation? Okay, Caroline, Okay, Okay, Hi Carolina, ya can I talk to you? It's something that you know, It's been on the back of my mind,

Like I know you got your new homegirl. Let's let's say, daisy, I see you a daisy. You have a good time. But you know, it's weird because like, I don't know her. I don't feel like me and her have anything in common. I just feel I don't know her. And I and I feel weird when we're hanging out. I feel like I cannot trust her. And this is a major thing

for me, Carolina. I need to feel comfortable speaking to you and telling you what I feel and what I think without feeling like my conversation with you is going to go elsewhere. Talk about Oh, I was hanging out with Honey and Carolina, guess what Honey said, or guess who Honey doesn't like, or guess what's happening in Honey's relationship. I need to feel, Carolina, like our time together is

a safe space. I cannot be worried about somebody that I don't vibe with being there consuming our conversations and taking them elsewhere. So if this is your new friend, I really would rather have you guys, just you know, so you see where this goes. Maybe in two years when you're like, wow, this is my ride to die. This bitch been through the trenches with me. I love her, I trust her. Then bring her to me. But not a new home girl that you met off a bumble bff.

You know that's the thing, right, Carolina. Women meet each other one girl, yes, bumble bff. Women that don't have a lot of friends going bumble bff and me home girls? Is this a real thing? Though? This is on bumble the app. Yes, girl, the girl that invent the bumble decided that women need to be meet home girls, and they have a thing called bumble Bff. Imagine you're meeting the random person off of bumble Bff and then bringing her to my house. I'd like, who is this girl?

Did you met this woman? How do we know this woman that going? Wait for me to turn around and bend over in front of my husband, don't we bringing straight? Honey? My goodness. Wait, First of all, you are speaking so much truth of your own truth, which I absolutely love about you because I think that there are so many people who feel this way. But Teresa, now it's me

and you are speaking to Carolina. Yes, okay, Teresa, So now it's me, It's Carolina, and I'm just gonna keep it all the way real with you and let you know that I am the wrong person to ask for advice on this thing, because I'm the unifier. I am the friend that wants all my friends to be friends. I am the connector. And this is the problem. You know, I have a friend who has a bunch of different

groups of friends, and she keeps them separate. She doesn't want anybody commingling, and she likes to keep them separate for some reason. And I'm always the more the merrier. Oh, come on it, as long as it doesn't make anybody uncomfortable. But Teresa, you're not looking for somebody to unify you. Guys, you really feel strongly that this friend, this new friend, is not your style. It's not the type of person

that you want to hang out with. So, going back to what Honey said, I would tell your friend Daisy, like, hey, can we can we just like talk for a second, because I really want to let you know what's been on my mind. I love you as a friend, I'm glad you found a new friend, but she is completely not my vibe. I just feel a certain type of way whenever she's around. I feel like we are not ourselves or our friendship is not the same when she's around.

So maybe, just for the time being, would it be cool if you know, either give me a heads up so I can make that decision if I want to hang out with you guys and you're together, or maybe we just kind of continue to do things on our own. I think that honesty is the best policy, And if you're going to talk to your friend, you got to really talk to your friend, because you don't want to be going behind her back and having her here that you hate her new friend. That's just going to bring

them closer together. But I think if you are just honest and upfront about it and just say, look, I need a little bit of space. I know you really are enthusiastic about us trying to all hang together, but I'm just not feeling it. And hopefully she'll be respectful of your decision. I'm sure she will be. Honesty is always the best policy. Just don't be aggressive about it, Teresa. I know how us New York girls are, I know

how spicy are. Italis all too so just easy, take it easy, Just be like, can I talk to you about something? You have a glass of wine or something. Just keep it cool and it will work out. I think that it's also hard. You brought up something that is interesting to me on bumble. There have been studies out that have said that Americans are the loneliest that they've been in decades. And again, I'm going to throw it back to the pandemic I think that it definitely

separated a lot of people. I've mentioned my single friends before who really really felt it. During the pandemic, I saw one of my friends from l A for the first time in almost two years, and when I tell you, that hug was so real because she has not been around that many people, and she just said, you have no idea what that hug meant to me. And it broke my heart because here I am daily getting hugs from my children and my husband and and I never

put it through that filter. So I don't want to come down on something like bumble bff because I think that that's a really positive and wonderful thing. I wasn't even aware of it, but I have been reading about how lonely people are, and how afraid people are to step out of their comfort zones, or how challenging it is for women to make friends. It really is, and that brings me to this. You know, the only reason I know about bumble bff is because one of my

friends made a friend on bumble bff. And you know what, Carolina. She brought her around me and I've hung god with her maybe five or six times, and she is a great person. She was just new to the city and didn't know anybody, and she used the app and she is a beautiful person. She is so cute, and she's like, you guys are my extended family in this city. I didn't know anybody. I just I just picked up and moved. So I'm not coming down on bumble bff. I just

use it as an example. But it is a great way for you girls to meet and it's hard to make friends as adult women. If you can use the app and it's successful for you, by all means, go for it. Just give me your heads up before you bring a strange into my space, because you know I'm born and raised New Yorker and I'm always with my side. I what this bit here for? Oh my gosh no. And then there's me from the Midwest. Come on in. I'm gonna open the door for you all. Let me go,

let me grab you something. You know, I don't worry about it. You can stay here for two weeks. Don't worry. No. Actually that goes back on what we were talking about letting them stay in the past couple of episodes. Um, but I will say when I moved to New York and this is something that was super challenging for me. I moved to New York in two thousand five and I knew zero people, no people, And I remember I joined a gym because I've always liked to exercise. I'm always,

you know, taking care of myself. And I specifically remember being in the changing room in the locker room, and there was a girl by the way. We were both fully dressed, so it wasn't like an awkward situation, and I tried to like say to her, oh, I love your I love your boots. And I remember they were ugg boots and they were so cute. They had like little sparkles or whatever on them, and I was like, oh, trying to make conversation. And this girl was the biggest

bitch to me. You would have thought that I had Shrek ears and I looked like I had Donkeys face or thing. She looked at me like I was crazy for even approaching her to talk. And here I am just trying to be friendly, maybe strike up a conversation, yeah, and making a friend. You know, we are complimenting her boots that belonged to a four year old woman was back in the day. And I give her a pass. I give us, but but still it was just that was me making an attempt to strike up a conversation

with somebody. And when it's really challenging, and I was twenty six years old at the time. Normally people form their friendships either in high school, college, that that first job out of out of school, or that first job that they get when their entry level, and they really come up with a group of people. And I think that that's really challenging. And I here, I am in New York, trying to make my way in this industry that is super competitive and tough, and I just needed

a friend. And I can see theresa why your friend might be branching out to make other friends. And I don't know what her status is. I don't know if she's married or not or whatever, but I just think that maybe be honest, be upfront, don't let it affect your friendship, because I think that's the fear that I

have for you. It's like, don't come off so strong that you turn your friend off completely where she's like, wow, what a bit you know, but definitely let her know that it might take you some time to warm up. And I hope that we helped you. I don't know. I always feel like we leave people more confused after we talk about it. Now we definitely helped her. Don't worry about it. We told her to be honest, say how you feel, and don't tell them the friendship has

to end. Whatever you do, just don't be like you gotta end the friendship because it's like one of the least thing that might happen with a friend totally might fall in love, and you told if you tell them they can't be together, and then you'll be the one that's out. You will be the one that is the third person out. So thank you Theresa for writing to us. You know you guys can always submit your questions at l I Spanglish is where we are. On Instagram, you can d m us. You can also d m me

on my purse on all account. I'm at the real Carolina. You're looking for that raw and unfiltered advice, hit me up on a Graham I am hunting German. Wait a minute, I give raw and unfiltered advices just different from yours. But you put you put frosting on your advice and sprinkles and you make it pretty. I'd be like, here's a raw pound cake. This is all I got for you. That's it. So, guys, thank you so much for joining

us for another episode of Life in Spanglish. We want you to rate and subscribe please so you never miss an episode. We just love doing this with y'all every single week, So thank you, thank you for listening. Lifense Banguish is a production of Lifense Bangulish Productions in partnership with My Hearts Michael Podcast Network