Making Mami an Ally

she unfollowed Starbucks? Why oh wait? What happened with with that? Well, the whole Black Lives Matter you know fiasco where they said that none of their employees were going to be allowed to wear anything black Lives Matter? I thought they changed that though. Was it because of people like Arianna? They changed it? But she's not with it, so she deleted them. She was like, unfollowed, I had enough in life.

You just wait until she needs like an ice green tea this summer, and then we're gonnas gonna be a whole different story. Oh, welcome to life in Spanglish, Honey German. It has only been a week, and I feel like it's been a year since the last time I spoke to you. It's so crazy, Carolina, because it's just like so much happens in one week in my in my life has had things like ever moved this fast. I'm talking like I went outside and people were like, Corona

is gone. Like okay, I watched your Instagram story. I've been hanging out at home. You said that. And then, funny enough, there was a headline or a article written by Time magazine and it said America is done with COVID nineteen. They are nineteen is not done with America. And it's like, if that's not the truth, it is it really is. Carolina listened. I was outside, right, I was outside in Jersey, in the Bronx in uptown, in Midtown and going on a tour. Yeah, I wanted to

see how people were moving this weekend, Carolina. People outside, no no wonder. Cuomo was like, I'm gonna lock atasses back up. Not everyone, but a lot of people are done with Corona. I was on like I was in Midtown. I went through the village. I'm talking like hundreds of people outside of the bars drinking and hanging out like just like whatever, like people are done with COVID nineteen. Like they're like I'm ready to get back to my regular life. I'm going to risk it all. But that's

the thing. It's like, you know, we've spoken about this at length over the past couple of episodes, you know, and I don't want to spend too much more time on it because I feel like there's like quarantine fatigue, there's COVID fatigue. But like, I definitely believe that there is something. I think New Yorkers I do have to pick us up right now because I think we crushed it as far as like the social distancing and staying home. I really do. I think the numbers show it. I

think the behavior shows it. I think that now we're getting a little to relax, and that's why, as you said, with Cuomo, he's like kind of whipping us into shape. But my hope is that we did the good work in the beginning. We did. We really did an amazing job. First of all, aparently know the fact that they were able to lack down New York for like two full and then people weren't outside like boycotting, and like while now like because of the pandemic and because of the lockdown,

that's huge. I almost I almost regret not taking a trip into the city at that point to see how beautiful it was without anyone, without the hustle and bustle as we know it. Well, you know, guys, Okay, so we're gonna let you in on a little secret right now. So earlier, well, you know what the secret is. Earlier today, we got an email from our you know, from our company saying, you know, we're expecting to move back into

the offices on such and such date. And you know, a little part of me, a little tiny part of me, was like, oh man, But then there was that other part where it's like I get to be me again. I get to go back to the city. I get to start really getting back into my routine of who I am and how I move. And it's like, I'm I'm looking forward to it, but I definitely have that

re entry anxiety. And we're gonna keep you guys posted and let you know how things go for us, like along the way, you know, But how did you feel when you saw it? Um, I wasn't expecting anything sooner.

Labor Day was kind of like my my own you know, cut off, like Okay, this is the time, and then maybe I'll get back into the into the train, and then I was like, Okay, you know things are starting to reopen, so maybe working from home right that bad once I can go outside because working from home, you know, while I've been blessed and and and happy to have a job being at home and only doing one thing, which was working, and then maybe like it's been a

lot for me, like it really has. And the other day I was like, well my life back, Like I really feel like my whole entire core of who I was, how I moved, where I went, like it was all stripped. But don't you think that says something about us though, that like our work defines us. Like I was thinking about this too, because in the past, I would be like I was that person that was overscheduled, and you know that. I mean you would see my hand and

you know we're all over scheduled. Though I'm not just saying it for myself. I feel like you You're worth was put into how much time you had left right like, oh I can, I'm just so busy. I don't have time for this or that, you know, And so I think that this is every set that really was both of us. Though I'm not even gonna lie to you. Every time, you would look at like you were doing something I could barely like, I'm like walking talk walk and talk like we were both heading somewhere as soon

as we finished. But I'm always out of breath. You know. It's like I always sound like I ran a marathon, don't look like it, but I always felt like I'm like, Okay, I gotta go here. Okay. Yeah, so you know, but like now this has really made me pause and take a moment and like really digest what's going on and also try to see how I can continue some of these good practices that I've picked up along the way, you know what I mean, Like to be present and to put the phone down, to not be so locked

into social media and stuff. So um but no, speaking of which, you posted a meme today and I was crying when I saw it, and it's talking about all of the fantasies you had as a kid, when your parents would be mad at you, not when my parents were mad at me, when my be the living ship out of me. Were you making plans? I was like, I'm just gonna run away from home. I'm gonna run away and they are gonna miss me, and I'm gonna

show them. And by the way, I was like nine, okay, Earlina, I was that kid that used to say, I wish I wish I was never born, Like that's dramatic. I was like, that is drama. You know. I actually look exactly like my dad. And I even accused them, I'm not from this family. I don't believe. I don't believe I belong in this family. Yeah, but Latino parents, like growing up, it was just accustomed to like beat your kids, you know, like yeah, maybe not all families, but I

got whipped. I got whipped like at least once a week. Like my mother wanted to see blood if I if I cursed. My mother needed to bust my lip, like I needed to go to sleep, you know, with the whole like yeah, yeah, you can't catch your breathe. So but trust me, every time I would get that beat down, I would be like, nah, I gotta escape this family. I gotta figure out where I and you know what, I used to go live with my grandmother at times.

Sometimes I would live with my grandmother for like six months. Sometimes I would go live with my dad for like a year. She would give you a sabbatical. That's that's like literally a sabbatical. My mom would not let us escape, and she was like no, no, no, no, you stay here someone I cannot again, you know, like she was just not playing with letting us escape to anybody else's house. No,

my mother wanted a break from me. I was a really really bad kid, like that that kid that you're like, wow, this kid is gonna put me in the early grade. That was me. But my mom explains a lot of things to me now that makes sense, and she's just like, you know, you were reading when you were like two and a half years old. She was like, you were just mentally very mature. So we wanted to discipline you

and tell you how to do things. You already thought you were an adult because you were so far advanced mentally. So we clashed a lot because when I was ten, I probably had the mentality of fifteen year old. So it was just like, I'm ten years old, but don't tell me what to do it, don't tell me how to dress, don't tell me what to sit. So of

course that don't sit right with any parents. No, no, of course, Well right now I'm going through with my two I said to my son, No, uh, I go you know, last week of distance learning, we did it. You can do this. I have like a big present for them for the last day of school, Oh for sure, Yeah, because I wanted to just celebrate them. They rocked it, you know. And so I said to him the other day, said, come on, buddy, you can do this. You know, we gotta.

He goes, mom, I don't even know why you're making me do this. I already know all this stuff. Okay. I go, well, no, there's a whole lot that you don't know. And uh and he goes, Mommy, come on, And I said, but it's like he's very serious when he says, like he truly believes that he knows, you know. But it's like I have a different way of parenting, and so for him, I'm just like, well, you might know a lot, but there's always something to learn, you know,

something's not even as adults. You know. I love teaching, but I also love learning. And can I tell you one thing, Carolina. The other days, I felt like I need an older person in my life, and that if that makes sense, like somebody I can go to, because I've become the go to person for everybody else. And you know, I'm using my mom more. Now I'm like, okay, you know what, let me just use my mom more.

But I at the beginning, I disassociated herself. You know, I disassociated like me from being able to go to her because I felt like, Okay, she's my mom. I can't really like tell her the things I want to say, or she's not going to understand. You know, she's sixty. It's like she's not going to get it. But now it's like I've turned to her during the pandemic and I find that she's there, I can use her, and I asked her these questions, and for like twenty years,

I haven't resorted to her for anything. That's growth. That's growth for both of you, you know. I mean, I think I found that space with my mom because I didn't necessarily get along with my mother growing up either, And I think that might be like maybe I don't know if it's a woman thing because I don't have daughters, but you know, I definitely clashed with my mother, maybe because we're both very motivated, hardheaded or stubborn, however you

want to put it. But like, I definitely found that space with my mom later on in my twenties and I think eventually you do find that, you know, like you you find a way to go back to them for that advice or you know, for their input. Whereas before I never wanted to know what she thought. You know, I didn't need it my mom. In my mind, my mom did not exist when it came to like seeking advice or what does she know? Exactly, Like I don't want to talk to my mom about my marriage problems.

I want to talk to my girlfriends. But then I started realizing I'm like, Okay, I am the girlfriend that gives the advice, Like who advising me? And who better than Vena that's been married three times? Like I mean you're Carryan's okay, you need rent and Aulita you need one. It's like we need to start a business, you know, killa Um, Well, you know what, I just think that now as we've grown out of this whole situation, I

think that's the beautiful thing. And we had mentioned this in the last podcast, is that your family, you guys, have become even more bond. Your bond is stronger, you become more connected, and that's always a beautiful thing, you know, at least for me, I think it's wonderful to find those inroads with people because that's gonna last. You know,

it's good, it's good. I feel like the most amazing thing to come out of all of this has been my ability to reconnect with my family, Like we're all we're all gonna go like see my mom for her birthday, Like we've never done that. I'm talking like that's awesome. That's like, Oh, we're gonna surprise Mom. It's like I've told you, you know, in all of our life and spanquished listeners that you know, some people reach out to me like I have a very complicted relationship with my

mom just like you do. And I want whoever is listening that has this situation to know that there can be a resolution, that that there can be a change. Like I really thought like I am going to die with a bad relationship with my mom. But these months it's gotten so much better. And it's like we no longer argue now. It's like we joke around. I'm like, Mom, did you see Trump? Oh? See to be local, you know, and we go back and forth. So it's like that's

that's something, but something I'm proud of. Actually, that's amazing and there's common ground there and you found it, you know, like and despite like the circumstances, which I'm sure you wish they would have been better, you know what I mean, like that you didn't have to find it in this way. But I think it's just it's wonderful. And you know what I you need to cultivate that and make sure that it continues. Now, we got a problem on our hands because most around Father's Day is coming up on

each other. Carolina And okay, so I did the most on this Father's Day because I couldn't go to stores. Now, mind you, I told you before. Mark is very different from Noony. He does not want anything. He does not want me to buy him things. He doesn't want shoes, He's not There isn't anything that I could buy this guy that he would be like. This is amazing. Other than a dog, Okay, that's all this man wants. He wants a dog. No girl, he doesn't want just a dog.

He wants a fucking German shepherd. Okay, listen, that's my dream dog. Don't get me. Oh my gosh, I'm talking to the wrong person. Then, so I stupidly said no, no, I said to my girlfriends, I said, all right, I'm gonna call I'm gonna get this ball rolling. I'm gonna try to get this dude to dog because like that is just as mine. First of all, all the shelters are closed. Even if the shelters were open, all of the dogs have been adopted or rescued because quarantine time.

Because I said I would get him a German Shepherd mix. I I rescued my last baby, my my little girl, my Chihuahua mix, and UM, and I always try to go to the rescues first, you know, because I do think that there are some really incredible dogs. So no, I got shut down by um three of the ones that are around here. So I said, all right, well let me reach out to some breeders. I had a breeder laugh at me on the phone, and she said, you wanna what I said I would like, I'm inquiring

about a puppy. She said, well, you're going to need to wait until December at this point because people are dog crazy. Who knew? Who knew that? Like everybody has been going for these dogs, right and so um, I found one that said that she might have a litter in July or something that where somebody might drop out. I said, can you put me on a list? She goes, well, you're like tenth on the list. So I said, this is just like so anyway, I oh, ship, hold on,

let's decline that. Okay, Um, are they going to hear that on the podcast? Oh no, I'm gonna edit out. I'm gonna say leave it. Who cares? People need to know we're like doing this on our computer. Leave it. Make your life easier. So then I asked his mom to send me like a million pictures of him with his father. My husband's father passed the year after we were married, so he never got to meet our sons. He was, I mean, honey, it's a really beautiful thing.

Like I was looking through these pictures of my husband with his dad when he was a kid. The look in his dad's eyes of adoration and just love, you know, it was it was so incredible to just do that. So I made a photo album for him to share with our boys, because our boys always asked about his dad, and he doesn't really talk about him. I don't know if it's a guy thing. I don't know if it makes them sad. You know, Mark is just like a steel trap, Like he just doesn't really so I'm really

hoping I get some tears on this Father's Day. I said, that's that's yeah. Yeah, so I record it. Make sure you record it when he opens up the video, even I mean the album, even if it's just for you. I record a lot of stuff. I'm the person that records everything, like yeah, but then I don't know what to do with it, Like what do I do? My memory is full, honey, where do I put this ship?

Needs up? There? Your damn phone? Talking about your memory is like listen, I record everything I'm gonna tell you. During the pandemic Nooni's best friend Covide, and this man really thought he was gonna die and he was being a real big baby, and I recorded him every single time on face time, and I have those videos that I'm going to share them with him one day. Oh my gosh. That's so thoughtful, though, Like I just don't

think that way. While they would be on face time, I would record Neonie's phone so that he can have these videos later on, because he was really like I'm gonna die. Like that's so scary. Though, that is so scary, But it's like that's the bottom, Like this is your worst moment in your life, and like you can have a video, you can watch it and you can see what you dodged on that person. Look, you were being

a drama king. Okay, so now I'm gonna just throw this back at you so you can realize how extra you were being. Um No, but talking about our husbands. You had Noonie on your Instagram live and I was on your story. Honey, you need to be nicer to NOONI. I'm he was. He was angry, you were. You were busting on him. He was just trying to drink his sun kissed in peace, and you darken on me. You listen, you don't even understand what this man as hung Greek.

I'm just hungry. I'm starving, and I'm like, O, can we go here? No, I'm hungry. Like I'm saying, I don't feed this man. Things do not neutralize and calm down. But now are you responsible for that? Now even more because of the pandemic, Like have you been feeding this man? Like you're responsible for breakfast, lunch and dinner for breakfast and then I'm responsible for like lunch and dinner. And but now you know what's crazy, Carolan, Like the first

month and a half. We were like crazy in the kitchen. Now it's just like I'm tired of eating. I am tired of cooking. Get a pizza at Albis and put it in the oven, like I'm not doing this anymore. Those five course meals, rasta pasta, you know, Chinese fool because those are gone. Out Door dining is open. I'm about to go to Ruoney's one a weekend, get a table by the corner, and like, oh my god, this man's made. I gave my kids Lucky Charms the other night for dinner because I am a cool mom. I'm

not a regular mom. I said to them, I go, you know what, are you hungry? They said yeah, and I was like, there's leftovers. They're like, we don't want leftovers. And I said, you know what we're gonna do? They said what I go, I'm gonna give you guys a treat. I said, it's Lucky Charms night. They lost their minds. One of them took his shirt off. He was swinging his shirt around. I'm not even kidding. The little one

he took a shot. He was like lucking sharms like They're like, mom has completely lost its Mama is sick. And tired. How about that? I said, That's what I said. I was like, you can have leftovers. There's some pizza. It was like on a Tuesday, the pizza was left over from Friday, so you know, it was like not even good anywhere refresh. But like that's the thing I said, I'm gonna release myself of any of the like pressure judgments.

I'm gonna let them have those moments, pancakes for dinner, you know what I'm saying, because it's like those are the memories that they're gonna remember. Yeah, no, they are, and it's listened. They already locked up, like we were like we can talk about this forever, like being pretty

much like our house. Arrest for the past few months has been hard on adults, but it's been even harder on kids because it's like people that are working, It's like those kids are ignored to half the time because you don't have time to be coddling them and talking to them all day long. It's like, now, I do you do? Yeah, but tell me don't like, of course, thank god you do. Imagine being stressed out with a boss all day long, demanding your attention from nine am

to five pm. How do you even like take care of the kids, homeschool them. Talk to my heart. My heart hurts for one of my dearest friends. She is a she's uh seven to seven or that's what I say, seven am in the morning until seven o'clock at night. You know, that was like her commute. She would leave at seven o'clock in the morning and be back by seven with her kids. And so her boss doesn't understand

the limitations. So this girl has been doing it all and I feel for her, I really really do, because I said, you know, I get to turn it off after ten and my meetings and whatever. I get to be fully present for my kids like that. It's not everybody, and it's not lost on me, man, you know, it's it's a good And then I think a lot of people are very afraid of losing their jobs during this pandemic,

so they're not wanting to set any boundaries. It's just like I can't say no, I can't not jump on calls, I cannot not jump on meetings because people are very fearful that like, you know, if you lose your job, now, when can you possibly be employed again? And it's like, you know, you have people right now taking advantage of the extra six hundred dollars that are coming in through the stimulus package. But that's only two July thirty one. After July thirty one, you're on your own. There's no

more thousand dollars a week. What is this? What is this vacation stimulus that you were talking about though, or that power posted earlier today, there's some type of four thousand dollars check or something. Is this for certain people? Or what is that about? So it's like it's going to be like a tax break, like four thousand dollars worth of tax break. So they're encouraging like for people to travel and then spend up to four thousand dollars and you put it on your taxes of like a

tax break, like a travel tax break. That's what it is. And we're not getting a travel check, but gotcha, Yeah, we'll be I'm glad I read that article because I did not know you were going to ask me, But you know, my nose as was like, I'm sending me four thousand hours to go back to the r for

a month because I need to know. I said to my husband, we were scheduled to go on vacation um, and I said to my husband, I go, the only way I will travel within the next six months is if they come up with a human sized condom for me to wear all over my body so that I can just strip that thing down. No, LU, by the way, because I'll just I'll take that shut off. I said. I am not trying right now to like get on

any planes. You know, I've actually googled. This is how freaking crazy I am, Honey, I'm embarrassed to say this. I googled disposable seat covers, disposable trade covers. I have about seventy of them in my house. I already ordered them because I thought we were going to go on this vacation in Hawaii, so I was thinking, yeah, I was thinking, these kids are gonna get on this plane

and be touching everything. Thank goodness, it got canceled, you know, because if they cancel the flight, you get your money back, right, but they get credit. I had two credits. I didn't get no money back from anybody. No, they can't. They straight up canceled the flight. So when they canceled it on this airline at least um on Hawaiian air, um, they give you your money back so because it was canceled. And so I said to market, what am I gonna

do with seventy two? Trade that so much? It was Amazon, and I thought, you know, these kids are always putting their fingers and stuff all over the place. I'm just gonna, like, you know, cover the whole thing in these trade table covers. But like for meal, like what is it gonna take. I saw somebody, a reporter on a plane, and I'm not even exaggerating, wearing goggles, wearing a mask. I think I saw that. Did you see that? It was on NBC Nightly News, right, Okay, So this guy went on.

He was wearing goggles that were like suction to his eyes, he was wearing a mask, he had um, he said that he had on gloves, He wiped down the seats, he did all of that. I just I don't know how long it's going to be until I get out and about again like that. I'm traveling in like two weeks. Stop it, Where are you going? I'm done, Carolina. I'm

gonna chem clean you if Carolina, I'm over it. And so many people that I know have been traveling during the pandemic, like to Aarga, to Florida and they they're proud of the problem, that's the spike. Yeah, but they don't have Corona and they never caught Corona. So it's weird, you know. So it's like I need I need to break I need to break a scenery. I need to like get out of my house. Where are you going? I'm gonna go to Miami. Left on my um my brother lives in Miami, and I'm just gonna go work

from there. Be good for you, good for you. Listen. I'm not gonna be out and about. I'm gonna go home. I mean, he's I'm I'm negative. He's negative, and I'm just gonna go down there and just you don't change my scenery. I've been in this house since March. I am going crazy when I don't blame you. No, you need that mental sanity. You need the mental sanity. I mean for me, I'm you know, I don't want to say I'm stuck here, but I am going to be here with my kids like camp and all that. So

you take a little bit different. It's like for me, it's like, Okay, I'm gonna go work for Miami for two weeks. Like nobody's gonna care and what's good for you. I I applaud it. I think it's wonderful. I want you to burn the clothes that you go and wear some old, nasty ass clothes that when you just you don't play with me. I got new clothes to go to Miami. You are not impressing anybody on that plane, honey, German. You wear clothes that you will throw away on the plane.

First of all, the plane the middle row. Nobody gets to sit in it, so like it's only like window and asle okay, okay, uh huh. And I don't know. It's like I started to feel like New York was like the epicenter of the of the Corona. It's like where else can I go that could be worse than New York right now? Florida or Arizona. No, you know what it is. I just think like this is a time where you have to really be non judgmental. And

I swear to you, I'm not judging you. I actually am a little bit envious because my whole family is in Florida, and I am in Florida too. I said to my sister. They all got together this past week and they were sending pictures and I was like, Pomo, I said, you know, I'm just so sad that I can't be there with you guys, But I do know the best place for me to be right now is to stay put and to like be here with my kids.

You know, you know that brings me to this Caroline, I feel like I feel I see a lot of people just judging so much, and it's like, yeah, everybody knows when it's going to be right for them to go outside, everybody knows when it's gonna be okay for them to travel. But I just see like, all my god, people are outside. My god, this person went here. It's like such an individual thing, and it's like, Okay, if you decide you want to stay in your house through September,

like go for it. They're people that they're mental requires that they step outside. They don't want to go to a park or they want to Like I went to the beach and it was amazing, like just looking at the ocean and hearing the waves and the birds and the sunshine, like it actually helped me spiritually, mentally, emotionally. I just felt better, Like you need to do that, then then you need to do that for you. There are people who do I saw you at the beach,

You're gonna catch No, you're not. No, you're not. You can't be going out looking on cute though without a mask because I did call you out on that picture. I'm not gonna take the picture with the mask. I was never the person that took the picture with the mask. Like everybody selfies with the mask. I'm like, Okay, here we go. Do we want to understand I've seen like three dollars any of these selfies with the stupid masks.

You don't want my d I y um person duster, It's over if you didn't do the mask with Oh my god, I cannot wait. I cannot wait to start posting all of my my homemade masks. And you know what, I want to talk a little bit about posting on social media, Carolina, because I keep talking to different people and they don't know like what to post, or if they can post, or if they can post about their life. And you know that people are like in in weird spaces,

Like I was talking to Ashley. You know, she's a makeup influencer, like a beating and her and like other influencers are like do people really want to see me post my makeup right now? Like, considering the climate and everything that's happening with Black Lives Matter, where people dying with grown up with police brutality, and you know, social media is a weird space right now. I'll tell you

your tone, what you post, how you look. Here's the issue you Okay, So I don't know what advice you gave Ashley, but me knowing Ashley and what a sincere and beautiful person she is, my advice to her would be too preface whatever video she's going to be doing by saying like, hey, guys, I know there's a lot going on right now. I you know, but um, I thought maybe it might be time for me to share something positive with you guys. That might be helpful. But

the problem is people don't listen. People just scroll through. They tapped through, and then they would they would miss that and only get Oh, I can't believe that Ashley is supposed to make up videos right now? You know what I'm saying. So it's like, even with the best of intentions, that's why I think you just got to be true to you. She has to be true to herself, and she's doing such an amazing job, both her and Bella. They've been posting like beauty brands owned by black women,

black owned. I've seen it. But they're trying so hard to like really give back and in a genuine way, like they really want to help, they really want to be involved, they really want to bring awareness. But a lot of people are stuck on, like is it appropriate for me to continue? And I saw this one influence her, Like people were like trashing her because she posted something. She's like, listen, guys, I'm contracted. I was paid for these these posts. I can't no longer do my job.

I'm gonna get suited, Like I understand, and I want to support. And the problem is bigger than me and my bathing suit because it was like a picture in a bathing suit for Fashion Nova or something. She please understand me also. But one thing I did realize is that people welcome you know, when I posted like a video of me bathing my dog, like some people were like, oh my god, you're so mean to her. You were so mean to Roxy. I was so mad at you. I was like, leave her alone. No, she she has rights,

she has rights. She was cold. Yeah, she she's always trembling. She's not dramatic. The water's warm, she's getting a bubble bad. She don't towel. Nobody does that for me. Carol bumping up a couple of degrees, Honey, I mean you pay for the water that the water was. They look so cold that poor baby, like her little nails were coming out. I was like, my baby, Oh my gosh, she made

it through. But listen when Moost in the video, some people were like, oh my god, that's so cute, or you made me laugh, or you took my mind off of like all this other like heavy heavy stuff that's happening. So don't underestimate, you know, you talking to your followers that discussing going on, or you know, even me, Like sometimes I my guys, I'm gonna take it a day to like really disconnect because I do a lot, like I post a lot, I bring a lot of awareness.

I do a lot of articles on power. It's like we want to make sure everyone is is super woke and everyone is getting the justice that they need. So sometimes I have to like recharge my battery and I tell them I'm like, good for you. I'm gonna I'm gonna back off, like today, I'm not really gonna be on, and that's Saturday's. Saturday's I barely post and I barely go on social media good. Social media is a weird place right now, and you know, I just fall off.

I don't need to make the announcement. I'm like bye, I'm like, I'll be back when I'm back, you know. I just I don't And I need to say this because I think it's important for people to hear. I don't care about getting new followers and things like that. I care about the followers that I have, that have been with me, that ride with me, that understand why I take days off or why I don't come on, you know what I mean. So it's like there's a

big difference between people who are influencers. I'm not um and I I just value my relationship with the people who do follow me, and I think that there needs to be authenticity there and they know it, you know what I mean. So, like for this influencer, for example, that you said got dragged because she posted her swimsuits, personally, I'll tell you I had a program that was through the station. I reached out to the account executive and I said, I I'm writing this to you. I hope

you're well. I hope your family as well. We have a program coming up. I don't think it's in our best interest to post things like this of this nature right now, given the you know, current situation in the news and how everybody's feeling. Um, you know, please let the company know that these are my thoughts. I'd love to hear where they want to go with it. And luckily the company was receptive to that, and they said, you know what, great point, you know, but it's like,

you can't fall this young lady. You don't know the behind the scenes. She may well have written to these people and said, look, I can't do this right now. A contract is a contract, and business is business and people need to make money. And that company probably said, we need the eyeballs that you have on your account and we needed a post right now, you know. So I just think it's like a time for people to be a little more understanding, be a little more flexible,

treat people how you would want to be treated. I know, it's the golden rule, it goes back to that, but it's it's really true though, you know, it really really is. Somebody's late fifteen minutes. Give him a break, you know

what I mean. I think that that's really kind of like where you have to understand that, you know, you're I had a situation too with like, you know, these car parades, these kids, you know, they have car parades, and you got to go and celebrate all these kids and you feel bad because it's their birthday and quarantine. I I swear to you, with everything that's been going on, I forgot about one entirely. I sent the in my opinion, the sincerest apology to the mother and I said, I

I am so sorry. I did not rs VP. So I did not have it in my calendar. If it's not in my calendar, it's not happening, because that's just the way I live my life, you know. And I said a little gift and I said, you know, my sincerest apologies for us missing it. I hope she had a wonderful day, you know. But it's just like right now, there's just a hell of a lot going on, you know, so you just got to give people a break now. You have to, you have to, and and right now

it's a weird it's a weird time. It's a very very very weird time. Everything is is is happening at once, you know, but I just really pray that, you know, the cha age continues to happen, because change is happening, like we is hype yesterday when they said there's not gonna be any more playing closed offices amongst in the clubs with us, like in our own space, eating with us, you know, watching what everybody's doing, like we were like,

oh my god, that's it. No more dts. You know when they target a lot of like Inner City Black and Latino, what is the DT. Yeah, like the undercover detectives. Detectives, I'm sorry, there will be addressed in like playing clothes, going to the same clubs that we go to, watching Pops Bottles, trying to figure out their Instagram to then target them and investigate them. So it's really, yeah, that's

what they do. And then you have the hip hop police, like they're another set of problematic police officers that we've always dealt with here in New York. So for NYPP to say they are no longer going to be any more playing closed officers amongst minorities, you know, just just listen. Put them in cop close. Let us see that there's a cop there, don't me commit all types of crimes because it's it's kind of like a trickery if you

if you ask me sold that it's it's hoodwinking. They're hoodwinking you exactly, and you know it probably a smoking and drinking and you know, the money on the table, and this guy next to us like, who are these people? Let's investigate them. We're not gonna have any more of that.

And that's that's that's a win. And I think it's just I think, you know what, you you bring up a great point because we live in America and we have our rights and you know, and I think that that to a lot of people has been a violation of rights, and it's been a violation of you know, people's personal space or you know, just like you mentioned, if you're out in the club and you decide to do whatever it is that you want to do and

somebody's they're monitoring you, waiting, it's almost like they're waiting for somebody to suck it up, you know what I mean, so they can Yeah, it's crazy. Then with social media, it was just like, oh, I see him, he's spending all this money. Does anybody knows don't know his Instagram. Then they follow them, then they investigate, then they wrap them up, and then they wrap up the life, and then they it becomes a mess. I'm just happy if you're a cop. I want to see that your cop.

I want to see you in your clothing. I want to understand that I shouldn't be doing anything faulty or crazy in front of you. So that's when for us here in New York, you know, people are talking a lot about defunding the police and you know, bringing like I saw I think with San Francisco where they're no longer going to use police officers for like incidents involving you know, people with mental health issues, homeless. Oh I

did read about that. So the um that what they're trying to do is bring in more therapists and social workers to handle situations like that where beautiful where you have more specialized people who can address the issue rather than um just arresting. And this has been a thought in this country for a long long time. You know, a lot of the mental hospitals were shut down back

in the day. And I can't give you the exact year, but I have seen a documentary about the treatment of people with mental health sickness in this country and how they've gotten lost in the shuffle and they get lost in the system. And you know, there are a number of different prisons that have been um you know, erected

because they just don't have the capacity. And it's because we have not been dealing with a lot of the issues that you know, when a cop picks somebody up, they just throw them in jail and they don't ever fix or rehab or you know, deal with the problem. So I think that's great. I think the shift in thinking is what I'm most celebrating. You know, the fact that we're going to sit down and look at policies

and that there's a receptive nous to change. That's what I think is a win right now, you know, And we can't let up, Like the team are happening right now? Are We've been waiting for this. This is history. No, this is history. You are not realizing, like what's happening right now, Like things are changing finally, the people are being heard. And you know, much respect all of our you know gen Z, all of our millennials, they are

out here. Let me, they are in the forefront. They're the ones that are at these marches, at these protests, organizing them, getting their friends together, grassroots exactly. So don't say that they're lazy and they don't have anything better to do. Listen, I take it back. I saw a meme and I was like, these gen z and these millennials are really making me proud right about now. I'm doing my part. You know, I'm not out there in the crowd, but I'm doing my part. Did you trust me?

I'm doing a lot. I think there is a feeling of people who can't do enough, and I'm one of those people. I don't feel like I can do enough. I think that I'm very limited in my um scope of contribution, and that bothers me. Um, you know, monetarily. I have given to several different organizations. Um that I speak about it, but but you know what it's like,

there is that part of me. And I even said to Mark, you know, we watched the Sume Street Racism, yeah, and the the town hall on racism and we watched the one on COVID nine two with our kids too, and I said to Mark, I go, you know, if this pandemic we're not out here right now, I would love to take the boys to a protest in the middle of the day, a peaceful protests to help them understand why this is such a monumental thing that's happening

right now, because this is legitimately we're living through history, because the changes have needed to happen. There have been ways that different administrations have glossed over Republican Democrat, I don't care who you talked to, but they both have done it. They've glossed over the race issue. And I think the time is now. So I'm very, very excited about what is to come. You know, I think that it's been a long time coming. And there was something that I heard um on to Tupac, I think a

long time ago. He was talking about how the black people in America it's not just about rest of tuition. It's about and I'm paraphrasing what he said, you know they we've been here. He said, you know, we've been here, We've been your friends. And it's a wonderful quote, and I wish I knew it off the top of my head.

But he was talking about how black people have given so much to this country and and it's time for them to just just give us our rights, and Tupac was saying, this is a ninety what and what year are we in? Now? It's you know, So I apologize for the rambling. I wish I remembered the quote better, but you can look it up or I'll find it for you. But do you know what I'm talking about? Do you remember what he was? Did you ever see that interview where he was talking about how black people

aren't looking for forty acres in a mule anymore? Our restitution is of a different kind. It's a very He's just he was just unbelievable that, you know what's crazy? Today's his birthday and he was such a dope soul here. Today is his birthday. Today's his Birthday's crazy that you bring it up. Oh wow, Well, you know Tupac, he may he rest in peace, you know, but like at least his words are still resonating really years decades later, And that's why I thought it was like so crazy

that you know today of all days. Wow, that's nuts. Um, well, I mean, well we'll leave it at that then, I mean, I guess we wrap it up after that. Oh, Carolina, before we go, did you start watching Queen of the South, Okay, I did, and you're gonna be so proud of me. Okay, so I watched Okay, So to be fair, I've only watched two episodes, but only because Mark wants to watch

it with me. This is exciting. So he yeah, yeah, he said, He goes, wait, don't watch the third episode without me, and I was like, come on, I want to binge this, like I I want to catch up. There's like three or four seasons, no, like four seasons you guys booked. Well, he's only we only on the second or the third episode, and he said, don't watch it without me. He's like, because then I don't want to have to catch up. I said, okay, So now tonight,

what's tonight? Uh? Yeah, tonight, we're gonna watch it because then he has late nights coming up later on in the week. So I told him, I said, we better get like two or three under our belt. At least watch two or three. You're gonna you're gonna love it. You see people listen I posted about it. They left me like four comments. Are really our followers love? Did you see them? And they love voted to wait till everything on folds You'll love boted too. Don't worry about

it right now. You might hate him, but you're gonna love him later. Okay. I will let you know my thoughts and I of course will keep you guys posting. Listen. You can always reach out to us on social work at allies Spanglish, and also you can reach out to me personally. I'm at the Real Carolina and I am

Honey German. That's the Instagram. Hit me on there. I'll make sure I try to get back to everyone looking all cute, all right, and you know that I didn't even have my video on because I look busted, but I made all the faces you needed and I gave you all the SIF seat that and all the you. Thank you, dab, I love you, Bye bye