Courting vs Dating

remembered its research. It's research, but it's also something that came up in the house while I was you know, it was like a Sunday and I woke up and I was like, I'm gonna clean. I took out meat and I cooked, you know, and then when everything was ready, I looked around. I put a prosecco on ice, and I asked my husband. I said, what if you came to a single girl's house and it looked like this, as she had this food and she had a bottle

of Bubbly on ice for you? He said, I would be like, bitch, I'm moving in, he said, But you know what, that'll never happen because women don't know how to court men. They think we have to court them. He's like, so this right here, me walking into a woman's house, car driveway, house, clean food on the stove. He said, that wouldn't happen. Y'all. I don't know how to really court men. And that's why I said, I want to talk to Carolina about this, because you know,

we're both married. So obviously we did something to get a ring and that was it. But not like the kind of bacteria, the good kind. Oh no, I just missed the clean But anyway, but you know, I was reading I went online and I was like, you know what, let me see what tips on courting a man? Like what if I was singled again right now? Well, I was curious because people who have been listening to us for many seasons. And by the way, thank you guys

so much for checking out the podcast. But Bella, your sister, your baby sister, who I just think is like the most gorgeous human being on the planet. She was single for years. Has she found love or is she's still out there looking around? She's still looking see And that's the thing. It's like we've got all of these beautiful, intelligent jere ra you know God, but like they cannot find a man so what is it? Is it the men or is it the women? Well, I have a

lot of intel on that. So they are dating a lot. The dating apps are yielding results, but once they go on one, two, three dates then things fizzle out. Why, I wonder, m is it because there's too many people there? There's many options that that's number one. I feel like, Okay, this date is not going well. Well, you know what, I'm gonna go under the table and start swiping. When we met our husbands, this was not a thing you

met people in the street. You actually went out to a club and if you like the guy, oh my god, I gotta get his number before we leave. Oh my god. Hell no, or you would come back next week and be like, oh my god, I hope he comes again. Totally, that is not a thing anymore. Now it's let me check my DMS, let me go on Instagram, let me go on TikTok. The possibilities are infinite right now for you to meet people. You don't even have to leave your house. Remember Carolina, you have to get dressed and

coming see that. You know, I know, well, that's what I was thinking to myself. It's like, you know, I'm always in three layers. Okay, I got my boots on, I got my clothes on, being like I go outside. But no before I used to go out in the skimpiest little outfits. It'd be like four o'clock in the morning in the Tri State area, three below, and I would be like, this is nothing because you were out there. I was not wearing no damn coat to the club.

Motherfuckers needed to see that body, Adidi. While I was walking from the damn garage to the club. You never knew that advertising it was. I was not wearing no coat. I ain't cold. You know what celebrity said, hos never get cold. I think it was Cardi. Oh my gosh, I like, God bless her, Cardi. You know what you say everything that we think in our heads that we

never want to say, but it's so accurate. But you bring up a good point, honey, because you were talking about how you just like prepared this meal for Noony. You you made like the effort that you set up the whole scene for him, And I think that's a big, big part of it. Courting is a big part and that's what I think we're missing. We're going from like apps to just either dating or not dating, and there's not that in between time. Where are you getting them? Like,

figure somebody out? And I feel also that women courting men is frowned upon in this day and age. You know, my single friends, like the ones that I know are still out there, they need to be courted. What are you doing for me? Where are you taking me? Are you buying me a bag? Like the courting has taken on a whole new meaning. It's just like, okay, he has to prove to me why I should even be with him. But then with women, I don't feel like we're being forced to prove to men why they should

pick us. And it might seem a little antiquated or whatever. You know, back in the days when women were like jokosino yo lao yo, plancho jolo. That's gone. It's it's just now it's aesthetics, bodies, bbl's beauty, extensions of lashes, Like do you think that that's a part of the culture though, because I feel like as of late okay, so now, I was going out and dating in the nineties, late nineties, I would say, early two thousands, let's put it, okay,

And like I was not wearing fake lashes to the club. No. I was barely getting my Mac eyeshadow from the counter. I was borrowing things from my friends, you know what I mean. Like there just wasn't the access I guess to a lot of these things. Like nobody knew. There wasn't YouTube. We weren't teaching ourselves makeup tutorials. Crazy, I had the wrong NC forty five or some ship from man, why did you just do fine Nancy thirty five? I was like forty five or something shades. I don't know,

it's just wrong. I know it's just wrong. That is that's all I had. Fine to your chin line. It was like totally different. But you know you were out there and you were just like having fun with it. Yet Yes, but yeah, no, not the pressure. We can we can do a whole other episode on the pressure, the beauty pressure. Now it's nails, it's lashes, it's fillers, it's bbl's, it's sensions, it's just laminating the eyebrows. It's

the fucking most Carolina. And if this is what you're doing, I feel for you because not only financially, but emotionally and you know, just your self esteem in general has to feel just tired. Yeah, it's a lot of upkeep. It's it's a lot of pressure, I believe, for a woman to constantly be on. And I think there's something really natural, you know, and I'm not going to quote Drake, but you know sweatpants, you know, chilling with no makeup on,

that's when you're the prettiest, you know. I think that a lot of women have lost that natural ability to just be themselves because we have filters and there's always somebody on social media who's looking better than you, or the society pressure Carolina, it's just insane. It's just after the pandemic, I said, okay, I'm not going to wear extensions anymore because that was a thorn on my side, right. But it was the way I never noticed that you

were extensions. You would tell me you would get bundles sometimes if they did a good job, because I could never tell they weren't so obnoxious, that's what you know. The hand time wasn't down to my ankles and they beat you one sometimes. But but yeah, no, it was a thing. I didn't feel confident without my extensions. It just gave me like, okay, now I could do half

up half down. After the pandemic, I said, I'm not doing this anymore because I felt, you know, it was kind of like trapped and I didn't feel good and I didn't feel confident. Without the hair. It was just like, oh god, I would take out my hair and it's like, oh my god, if this girl cancels on me, I'm gonna die. Who the hell I want to live? Like that same thing with nails, it was just like, oh my god, my nail broke. The girl can't see me for a week. I don't want to go nowhere missing

a nail. I gave up on the nail. The best thing I did. Look at this, I'm showing honey, my nails right now. I learned how to do my own manicure during the pandemic. You have one of those. I'm one of those how to do it, and now I maintain. It's like listen, No, Carolina, like listen. Just having natural nails is one thing. Doing your own nails, that's the next level shit right there, natural my own nails. But you know why you got the real salone? Time is everything.

You come to my house and it's the salon. I don't have an hour and a half two hours to go to the Why don't you try three hours sometimes, Carolina? Right, because of the weight or whatever it is. And so I said, I'm going to take matters into my own hands. Do I like to look clean and you know, nice and presentable. Absolutely, But I'm not going to be a

slave to beauty industry, to the beauty industry. And so I think that, like, I know, this is what happens when Honey and I start talking, We go off on these tangents. But I know we have to bring it back to how to court demand to this article because I thought this was so excellent for people who are really trying to look for that partner, and we're talking about you guys both have to be on that level. Though.

You can't have a guy that's still out there trying to look for three side pieces, trying to smash and grab and you trying to lock it down. That's absolutely yeah. So these are the tips that they said, and I feel like these are really some of them are so basic, but they're honest, of course. And the first one is know the difference between dating and courting. Dating is focused

on companionship. It's usually short term, while courtship is when two people get to know each other better and their aim is may or And this is the step that I said that we're missing because you go from dating and then you're either together and that's it. We're together together,

or they fizzle off and they find somebody else. Courting is that experience where you get to know the other person, where you get to ask them the questions about their family history or what their dreams and what their goals are, you know what I mean. You normally don't go there on the third date. No, and if you're dating, you're obviously not going to start like, hey come over, I'm going to give you a manicure, or hey I'm going to cook for you, you you know, because then they're like,

oh my gosh, what is she thinking. She already wants to marry me, So you have already ordering the embroidered towels. No, not at all. So it's just like courting. Now that's different. But yes, I agree with you. And now the second tip it says court to marry, not to date. This

is huge. When I was in my third well, I think it was like twenty eight, twenty nine, and I made that decision and I said, you know, what if I'm going to date somebody, and if I'm going to invest my time, it's going to be the person that I want to be with. And you don't know if you want to be with somebody until you're actually, like really dating them. But that was the goal. The goal for me and mind was like, I want to devote and invest time in somebody who I believe eventually could

be marriage material. And you know, that's that's an old, old old mindset, but it still works. It's just like, why are you wasting time with someone that you cannot see yourself marrying or having children with or changing, especially if that's your purpose here. It's because some people date, you know, for food, some people date for trips, some people date for gifts. But if you're dating to try to find someone to marry, then you know, make sure

that person that's in front of you someone you would marry. Exactly, That's exactly it. The third one said confirm your sentiments for the man you have intentions of marrying. So basically it says like you have to reflect personally and have a conversation with yourself and say, are you sure you want to do this? Am I ready for the next step,

because you also could maybe not be ready. You could be putting yourself in a position because your friends are getting married, your mom wants you to get married, your biological clock is ticking, all of these things that society has put on us. But are you really ready? You have to be honest with yourself. No, that's before you enter anything. Ask yourself, is it time? Is this jersey gonna go up on the wall? Am I done dating? But I don't know. I feel like people put it

in their mind. Okay, I want to get married, but it's just more. I always bring it back to the social media. Everybody's married. It's cool to be married. Before everybody hid the day either had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. It was never cool to be married. Now it's just social media. A couple goals like TikTok's. You know, don't think I want that because that's what you see on social media because you're catching a glimpse like I did, a couple of questions a couple of weeks ago, or whatever.

The case may be super cool, super fun, but we will fucking kill each other on our way to wherever we're going. So just know that, you know, just know that it looks cool, but there's ups and downs to every relationship, you know, And that's where I think that people we get this glossy version on social media where you don't get to see well, at least for people like us, because we're not on reality shows. And even

then they're edited. You know, they'll show you everything. So you got to be willing to put yourself in that position to say, am I really ready to get into that type of an intense relationship? Number four for me, honey, and I'm gonna just focus on you no, because this actually made me think of you. Start with friendship. The behavior that I've seen your husband exhibit to you in

the past couple of years. This guy is the real deal, but the way that he treats you, it's like a real friend would treat another friend, do you know what I mean? And that's why I said when I read this one, it made me think of you immediately. We say we're family. It's weird, we don't have children, but we're family, me and him, like we try not to hurt each other, to say nasty things to each other,

like we are friends. And if you have the right marriage, it's going to feel like you have your best friend all the time with you. Wake up, you want to go get pancakes. You hold me right there, you want to go to the movies, holdie right here, you want to go shopping. It's just yeah, definitely start with a friendship because eventually, yeah, it's gonna be freaky, it's gonna be nasty, it's gonna be crazy. But in the end, you want friendship. You want a bond, you want somebody

that treats you good. So you know, plus, like, when you start out with a friendship, it allows you to see the person like who they really are, right, but its surface. You're not really getting to the real person. You're not getting to meat and potatoes, yeah at all. So yeah, I would start out with a friendship. You feel like kissing your friend, you feel like fucking your friend,

go for it because eventually you will exactly. I feel like Number five says, you have to talk to him about it, and I this might be scary for people. I think putting yourself out there and being vulnerable is a very frightening thing for a lot of people. So if this is in your game plan and you talk to this person about it and they're not ready to receive that message that right there should be assigned to you.

Of course, that's just your breakaway moment, you know. Obviously, if you're going to talk to him about, you know, wanting to enter committed relationships, at this point, you have to have been seeing him, probably for a couple of months or something. But it might give you the clarity that you need. He might be like, nah, Son, I'm not trying to get married. I don't see myself as the marrying type, and you don't have to waste a

year or two or three to get exactly. But then you can also see like, if he is there, if you guys are mutually understanding each other, then you could say, wow, okay, let's explore this a little bit more, like, let's dive in a little bit more and give more to the relationship. Knowing his friends is such a huge one because for me, I always say I gained so much in my relationship with Mark. He has the most beautiful group of friends

from college. So if you imagine these people have been together for what twenty five years almost, and they find time to see each other, they find time to visit with one another, you're not going to get along with everybody. It's not going to be like all peaches and cream with every single person. But if you know the person's friends and you can see that they're slightly like minded, Like all of Mark's friends are devoted husbands, they're family guys,

they love their kids. You know. But no, but that's what I'm saying. But with you, with Nooney, you were telling me how he had friends that were always like he still has messy. He still has friends that are dating. You know, he still has friends that are cheating. He still has friends that are just in the same black where they were born. So it's just it's for me,

it's different. Like I love them all. Don't get me wrong, they're all They've always been very respectful, not always of our relationship but exactly, but of me in my face. They've always been super respectful. But yeah, knowing his friends, it will give you also a good idea about how he moves, who he surrounds himself with, where he came from. So definitely, you know, don't be push either with the friendship. But the friend thing, I didn't. I didn't actually push

for the friend thing. We went to a wedding. He invited me to a wedding, and that's where all of his friends were. And the number one thing that they kept saying to me was like, wow, Mark never brings anybody around. Oh my gosh, this must be serious. Was the one Karl knows, I'm getting mama fucking rings. I know I was ready, no, because I knew when I met him like that, that was the point in my life that I was at. And after we dated, even like I think it was like the third of the

fourth date or something, I knew. I just knew. I knew that that was it. Like, Karl, this is like one in a million. It's one in a million in New York City because I had kissed a lot of frogs. Knowing his family, this is one that actually was very telling to me. You know, Mark, my husband is an

only child, only had his mother and his father. Um. I did get a glimpse into his family dynamic by the way that his family treated each other, by the way that his mother and father and respectfully, I'll just say they weren't very affectionate with each other. Doesn't mean they didn't have a great relationship. That was just how they moved. It helped me gain a better understanding of what kind of a man I was going to be

getting because of what he grew up with. It didn't mean that he couldn't change, though, or that he wouldn't adapt to how my family. He was like, you guys all hug each other. You guys like touch each other all the time. He's like like, what, Like what is that you know? So knowing somebody's family, I think gives

you a really good insight into who they are. And if you don't get to know his family or there's some type of roadblock, Yeah, there's something behind there because I didn't meet my husband's family for a very long time. But come to find out was that he was treating our relationship as very very casual and there was still other people lingering exes and stuff. So I didn't meet his family for a long time. Was he like afraid that they were going to call him out in front

of you? Sure? But like I'm pretty sure, so red flag. If he won't bring you to me his family, he's hiding something, you know. They always be like, oh, not everybody meets my family. Not everybody meets my family. But sometimes the problem is that somebody's already met the family and they still around because I feel like it's never been confirmed to me. But I feel like the main reason why it took me a very long time to me his family is because he was still trying to

exit another situation which he had kept from me. Okay, so then that's a red flag right there, and that's something to look out for. So definitely tell him you want me his family, and if he gives you any pushback, you better find out this absolutely. But you know what, also, it'll it'll show you this is your future potentially if you love this person, this could be where you spend your holidays or oh yeah, you know who you're gonna

vacation with. So you better like these people because if you don't, it's gonna be a lifetime and that's gonna cause some problem that causes friction. Luckily, my husband has a small family. I love his mom, I love his sister, and he has two nephews, which are my nephews too. Girl, I can't see myself in a family of a You know, I watched this ghetto ass show called Love after lock Up? Did I see that girl and this one girl shell we had trying to have a relationship, and his sisters

is what we had trying to jump up. I'm like, wait, was this about the people who like are in prison? And then they wrote to them in prison and they connected while they were there. Okay, I think, girl, this is my guilty pleasure. Don't find me no where on Friday nights because this is what I'm watching. Girl, and this one girl, Nique, I even DM her like I felt so bad for what like people are doing to her. Wow, on social media and on the show. She's overweight and

they're just honing in on it. I will slap the fattle off you. I'm like, which a bitch would? What do you think she isn't aware that she's over Like, why are you bringing this up? That's so her full? Bringing it back to the family. The family is being so treacherous and just nasty and mean, talk about get out the call list fight. I'm like, I would never No, that's game level of ghetto, Carolina. I love it. I aspire for that level of ghetto. I want, No, the

hell you don't, I want to see it. That's why she don't got bundles. That's because she don't got nails, because you don't got lashes. This was drag you that not anything else. I don't have any of the other stuff. Um, well no, but that's actually very true. The other tip that they said is to acknowledge boundaries, know what intimacy means to your partner, and acknowledge it. Definitely. No, well for some people maybe not. But anyway, let's let's talk

whatever your pleasure boundaries. Yeah, but boundaries are important. You know what. There are some people who are a little bit more sexually reserved who might not have the experience, or they might not have the desires, might not want to be in pain, you know. Yeah, No, but seriously, like and that's why if you if you know each other's boundaries, it's a safe space. I also feel like it gives you more freedom once you know, once you know what somebody's like hot button is or if they

they're not okay, don't don't go. Most guys, this is like I'll try to toss my salad. You know. Well that's like a big thing though you apparently listen. I don't know. On the Graham everybody talks about it, but I do. But you know, we definitely know the boundaries. But it's weird kind of sort of because you want to be a little experimental. I guess if somebody just

clenches up because you didn't talk about it before. And that's what the whole point is though, that this that's why this list to me is just so fantastic because it gives you a guideline if you've ever wondered why things aren't connecting for you, or you know, maybe you've skipped a couple of these steps and this could actually help you with your next person that you're you know, going to potentially date, um surprising him. I'm not good at surprises. I don't like surprises, but I do think

that men like a little bit of variety. I do. I think that they like for you to like, hell yeah, yeah, they want the unexpected. When I air drive my hair, my husband's like, oh my god, you look so different as a whole nother bitch. I'm like, this is just my natural hair, Sir, calm down, But no, that's exciting to them because things do. I mean, think about it. If you ate a turkey and cheese sandwich every day for lunch after a while boring, you wouldn't want to

have a turkey and geese. That's what my mom mubano with extra pickles. That just sounds so good right now, I'm starving. Maya Bolita used to tell me, yeah, and she would say Bob, and you know, she's like and she's basically saying, like, that guy's gonna think about that little tiny sliver that you gave him. Maybe the next time you give him a little bit more, but you don't give him the whole pie, because then he looks at the pie and he says, I'm sick of it.

I never want to see that dessert or that. You gotta make them work for exactly a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit no, and then you're a full blown freak big exactly take it from us. We know, no, I'm kidding, but yeah, surprises are good sometimes and it's going to switch things up for yourself too, for sure. You know, we have a little edible, have a shot and just let lose girl get it going over to Honey's house. I'm gonna go a hang out with you guys on

a Friday night love after lock up edibles. I mean, you guys are surprising each other. This is great. Just go to the basement. Well, we don't want you to hear no craziness. No, no no, no, we all need a safe word at Honey's house. That's what we do. Wrapping up the list, it says, don't jump into bed with him at the slightest chance, kind of what we just talked about. Remember the goal is marriage, you know. I

don't know. I think that's a little bit outdated because I think that if you're feeling it surrows some people who just feel it, you know, and like, are you gonna play games like that? That was one thing I did not want to do is play games. I said, I am going to call you when I feel like calling you. I don't want you to roll your eyes. I don't want you to be like, oh my gosh, this girl like she's this or that. Like we have to be able to communicate in order to build a relationship.

So um, I wouldn't. I would agree with this one, don't jump into bed with him like asap, but I would definitely feel him up because I am not trying to have no surprises three months sects check. Girl. I need to know what you're working when I'm sorry, I am not trying. That's it. Oh my god, girl, No, that's what you do at the club though you used to do the package check at the club. Yes, exactly anymore, I mean, are we are we again? Picks are a thing,

so I guess that's how you package check nowadays. Right? Should we do a whole episode on dick picks? Oh girl, I've been out the game too long. I don't think I could give. We would have to bring in somebody else. No, but that's what I'm saying. Yes, I feel like I was saved. I don't know what I would do if I received penis pictures. I did receive unsolicited ones from like listeners when I was single, but like everybody's pretty

respectful now, which thank you. I don't want any I'm not soliciting, but I feel like I missed that whole movement. I don't know, Thank god, all them unsolicited penis. Oh no, that's it? And then what do you do? You block them when you just don't like the way to headlooks. I don't need to see your mushroom. Um okay. So then, finally, going on dates is so important. Different dates, go go karting, go hiking, do different things like dinner and going out.

All the time, it gets stale. You don't get to really talk and get to know somebody. You know that, that's definitely true. Playing pool that used to be like my thing. I don't know why I used to like playing pool, but oh maybe at the pool hall. But definitely playing pool and sexy stuff. There's a lot of you know, like aerial shows and stuff like that, dinner shows, circus. Lay was always my thing. I always took him there. That was like my thing and he loved it, you know.

But yeah, definitely go on date, especially if you live in New York, Miami, La Texas. Like we have so much stuff to do. Follow those pages what to do this Week or Secret That's a good one. That is Secret NYC. And they have Secret Miami too, And they also have like all these places where you can go to where they're speakeasies like underneath the subways and stuff. You know, like it's really crazy. Like they get very creative. I will say, And I know I love Lay as

a date. See that could be for me, but like if you have body issues you would have to get over yeah you know what I mean. But like I feel like that would be a really great day. But also, you guys, the one honestly, the way that Mark like won his way into my heart. We went and we walked shelter dogs for a date. Shut the dog. He took me to the North Shore Animal Animal Yeah, and he was like, this man got to write a book. I said, yeah, I love dogs and he was like,

I said, I rescued my one dog. And he was like, he's like, I like to go and volunteer sometimes and walk the dogs. He's like, just to get them out of their cages. So we went and we walked dogs. Okay, honestly, did you feel like it was fake or did you feel like he was being genuine because he at that moment where you like, this can't be real. At the at the moment, I actually did think I was like is this a put on? But then through that's just so like magical and like rom com type of thing. Right.

The one thing was that when I went there, they knew him. Okay, so it wasn't like his first time. They were like hey Mark, oh my gosh. You know. So it wasn't something where it was like he did this as like a dating ploy, like actually, I'm gonna use this these dogs to get some ass tonight. Exactly. He wasn't using any pit bulls to get me. So no, but that's why I felt like that was a really

wonderful thing. And then just seeing him with our own dogs and like the way that he can he always he actually wanted to be a veterinarian before he went into finance, So that was something that I learned about him on that walk. Do you see what I mean? Like, that's why you have to sometimes take chances and say, you know, I'm willing to put myself out there, it might not be the kind of date that I was

looking for. Yeah, don't get me started on dates because, like I feel like a lot of women now, if a date is not like five hundred dollars plus, they don't want to do it. That's the issue, That's what I'm saying, especially because people are always looking for content. I'm gonna tell you this while dating, don't use dating for gathering videos. Oh well, I want to go here because everybody's going here, or I want to go here and make my date my photographer. Or there's a wall

over here, let's go over there. That's not a date. That's you using them as your content producer. Honey, that shit the fuck down, bro, Focus, stop you don't need to video. You don't need to order the drink comes with the smoke so that you can video it. You don't need to you know, have them bring out a sign so you can video it. First of all, you're looking kind of corny. I'm not even gonna lie to you.

You're looking kind of corny. And that person sitting and cross from you might feel used when they see that ship on Instagram and they're not even in it. I would never even think that way. And that just tells you that we're in twenty twenty three. Because it's like you go to Miami, what is the place, Fianna, the place side is the carouseund and everything everybody, how many people are staked, But that's more for the Graham, Carolina. It's all for the Graham. And then you have somebody

when the bill comes, Oh it's six hundred dollars. Your date ordered everything that kim with smoke. Your date ordered everything she saw on fucking Instagram. Yeah, that person might be turned off. The truffles. You don't even need truffle just because just because you want to videotape the tuffles being shaked shaped off exactly, Yo, just chill out man, do less. I'm telling you right now because I have

single friends. I know what they're doing, I know what they're going through, and I also know from the guy's perspective. I was just about to say that why are you like we are just this is why we needed to do this podcast together again. I have two little boys, okay, and I have said to them, you know, whoever you date, and I've said this many times, whoever you date, I don't care who it is. I don't care what color they are, I don't care what their background is, as

long as they respect you and they love you. Now, I have two young men who are going to be dating at some point soon. How are they going to keep up? You can't take anybody to Starbucks anymore. You got to take them over here and go to Hudson Yards and got Cobb. We gotta have a heart on it, and the Barissa has to come out with a whole French suit and do it in front of you. Bring it down, bring it back to basics. If you really want to get something that's long lasting and true, bring

it back down to basics. And finally, the last tip that is so important to me. It is so imperative that I think that everybody should follow this. Being so obvious about your courtship is a big no. When I met Mark, I knew that this was going to be something so special. I did everything to protect it. The only people who I told were my very closest friends, and I basically told my mother. I did not tell work, I did not tell my coworkers, I did not tell

my acquaintances. I pretended like I was single. I actually told him I'm doing this because I think that this is worth it, and I don't want anybody fucking this up. I was gonna say that, Yeah, media is I mean, it's no glad ocacy. The people say it all the time. Don't share what you're doing or what you're working on, because you know people that are envious, and I don't need that in my life. And so, you know, that

was the one thing. So maybe if you're courting somebody, keep it to yourself for a little bit, maybe marinate on it. Maybe you don't put it all out there on social media for everybody to see. Well that's a fact. The whole social media thing. Keep it off social media. I feel like that ruins everything everything, And then it's like, oh, girl, let me talk to you. He used to mess with my girlfriend three weeks ago. And then because you know, people are going to do it, of course, and then

it's like, oh, look at this one. And then you put a picture with that person and you're like, why did eighteen people forward this picture? Come to find out he was out, he had done wild dirt and nodding on ruenyo. Shit, Yeah, well, you know what it is. I want people to find love. I feel like there are just so many women and men who are really being honest and they want it and they're looking for it.

And I just read a statistic just a couple of weeks ago in the news, I believe, and don't quote me on this, it was like something like sixties something percent of Americans feel lonely. Loneliness is an epidemic that is going to hit our country. It's already here. And the only way that you can do it is by building up yourself, building up those relationships, investing in the people who are going to help you become the best person that you can be. And that includes dating the

people that you're dating. So I don't know, I hope this helps. I loved this list I love this list too, And the loneliness thing, Carolina, it's a big deal. I feel like we should do an episode on that because I know a lot of people that are very lonely. But the reason I assumed that they're lonely is because they have created this life on social media that they believe they're living, but they don't know it'll be old pictures. Oh today I went to the beach. No they did not.

That picture is seven months old. Oh today I went here and went in eight No, you didn't. You saved that from three weeks ago. And you know what you did today, fucking nothing exactly. You didn't leave your house because you you were watching Love After lock Up because you felt satisfied enough with the world thinking you did something, and you saw someone that you didn't think it was even necessary for you to leave your house. But this is why people were taking toilet seats and pretending they

were on private planes. I mean, I like, remember, That's why I'm saying, it's like we all have to like we've got it. We got to do a dial it back, absolutely, and this was so much fun. But honestly, I could go on for hours and hours and by the way. I don't want anybody to think. I want to be very transparent. My relationship with my husband is not perfect.

I've spoken about it many many times. I'm just telling you my story and my method on how I got to that place with him, to where we eventually built a relationship to now where we are a family and we are a husband and wife. And don't let me tell you about the chicken, the marrying chicken, because that I fucked that all the way up there. Allegedly there's a recipe you make a chicken and then the guy

wants to marry you. Did you hear about this engagement chicken talking about No, I made a chicken and that ship was raw and he still who gave you this recipe for to marry a Cosmo? This is what happens when you're right that the magazine is on. Nobody even reads magazines anywhere. No, well you know what I ended up getting them anyway. So there you have it. But if you guys have questions, definitely hit us up. We're at li Spanglish on Instagram. Hit us up and make

sure you subscribe. I love when those episodes pop up. Give us the five stars, and you know just hit us up on Instagram. Yeah, it's just your best friends talking and you know, we hope that you can relate and if we can ever help you, dm us send us an email Life and Spanglish at gmail dot com. Orlena is so good, she remember all this stuff. After the pandemic, I blanked out. I was like, I said, they gonna find us. They're gonna find us. They'll find us,

So we'll be back next week. Guys, Love you, guys. Lifenspanglish is a production of Lifens Spanglish Productions in partnership with Ihearts Michael Tha Podcast Network