What does it mean to lead a happy and fulfilling life? Most of us seek happiness through pleasure, calm, and order — preferring to avoid the discomfort, confrontation, and anxiety that comes from obstacles and challenges. And while less worry and work, along with more time to relax and have fun may sound appealing… Life rarely happens as we plan it and that might just be a good thing. According to philosopher Lorraine Besser : “There is this notion that we have, that once we get to the end goal ...
Sep 21, 2024•55 min
This week Esther Perel, psychotherapist, bestselling author and the host of the podcast “ Where Should We Begin? ” talks about a sexual recession. Perel says that compared with previous generations Gen Z is having less sex and becoming increasingly isolated - and the more time spent online is resulting in less time spent on the skills, experience or patience that help make a relationship work. This episode with Esther Perel was originally broadcast September 8th, 2024...
Sep 18, 2024•5 min
If you feel like we’re living in an era marked by increased mistrust, political tension, and cynicism — you’re not alone, research confirms this shift. Research shows that in 1972, half of Americans believed that most people were trustful. By 2018, the percentage had fallen to only a third. The rise in distrust and cynicism is a central theme in the book Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness , by Stanford psychologist Jamil Zaki. Zaki explains that cynicism is not just human ...
Sep 15, 2024•53 min
This week Robin Stern , psychoanalyst, and author of “ The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life,” talks about gaslight effect. What to watch for in a relationship or perhaps with a manager, coworker or doctor and how to succesfully navigate the feelings of invalidation that accompany that behavior. This episode with Robin Stern was originally broadcast July 14th 2024...
Sep 11, 2024•5 min
Few people offer greater insight, sensitivity, and expertise on human relationships and sexuality than Esther Perel. Born and raised in Belgium, Perel’s studies took her from Hebrew University in Jerusalem, to the United States where she built a career in couples and family therapy. Today, she is internationally acclaimed for her profound insights into eroticism and intimacy. She’s an author and the host of the popular podcast “Where Should We Begin?” The exploration of human sexual desire is as...
Sep 08, 2024•53 min
*This episode originally aired on January 28, 2023. Jonathan Bastian talks with Harvard Medical School Professor of Psychiatry Robert Waldinger about his latest book, “ The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness .” Waldinger is also director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development , the home of the world’s longest-running studies on happiness. The project has followed 724 men — ranging from “Harvard sophomores to inner-city Boston boys” — and their subsequent...
Sep 01, 2024•53 min
*This episode originally aired on October 25, 2023. This week, economist and author of “ Wild Problems: A Guide to the Decisions That Define Us ,” Russ Roberts offers a different perspective and approach to tackling some of life’s biggest challenges and decisions.
Aug 28, 2024•5 min
According to Chaplain Devin Sean Moss, death “informs how we live.” The idea of impermanence —the notion that everything is in a constant state of flux— and a “meditation on finitude,” Moss suggests, is a “cheat code of sorts to making deliberate and intentional decisions and forces the hand of what are my values…to know what my core is about.” For most people, the subject and contemplation of death and dying is hardly a source of inpiration. We fill our lives with work, travel, and spending tim...
Aug 25, 2024•53 min
This week James Danckert , psychology professor at the University of Waterloo in Ontario and co-author of “Out of My Skull: The Psychology of Boredom,” provides some tips for parents to deal with kids who say they are bored. As boredom is a natural occurrence, Danckert advises parents not to over schedule their kids or find things to keep them busy. Instead, whenever they can, parents should stand back more and allow their kids to take more agency in how to navigate being bored. This segment wit...
Aug 21, 2024•4 min
Finding an ideal partner can be an elusive quest. Over the past three decades, attitudes on relationship roles and dynamics have shifted. Thanks to online dating, people of all ages have the opportunity to cast a wider net, expanding their horizons and redefining their expectations. The journey doesn't stop at finding a partner; maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship is the ultimate goal. As challenges arise, seeking support from a therapist before issues become deeply rooted can prov...
Aug 18, 2024•54 min
When it comes to relationships, a friendship can hold a far more nuanced and significant place in our hearts, than perhaps we fully appreciate. The Platonic relationship, an ideal talked about by the ancient Greek Philosopher Plato , recognizes the existence of a closeness of mind and soul between two people, absent of any physical attraction. This kind of affection and tenderness is captured in letters and stories throughout history — friendships that have been as deep and intimate, meaningful,...
Aug 11, 2024•53 min
This week, Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and co-author of “ The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness ,” talks about the merits of meditation. As a Zen practitioner Waldinger says meditation has helped him stay present, connect with the richness of life and worry less about the things that really don’t matter....
Aug 07, 2024•5 min
In today’s job market, “good communication skills” is often listed as a top requirement. This essential ability not only helps you connect and collaborate with others but also effectively express your needs within the workplace. Strong communicators can unite us, foster positivity, and create a sense of shared potential. Moreover, today’s technology has made communication more accessible and rapid than ever before. Despite all the advances in tech, true connection remains elusive and we often fa...
Aug 04, 2024•54 min
This week, Kemi Nekvapil , leadership coach and author of “Power: A Woman’s Guide to Living and Leaving without Apology” shares a couple of power practices that can help women and especially women of color feel more empowered and reconnect with who they are. When it comes to standing in one's own power, Nekvapil says, practice, role play and experimentation are essential tools in helping to help change existing behavior patterns. This episode of Life Examined with Kemi Nekvapil was originally br...
Jul 31, 2024•5 min
There may be no greater pain in life than that of losing a child; the gaping hole felt when a young life is abruptly cut short, leaving parents to deal with a void that can be difficult to comprehend, and a journey to make sense of the heartache that follows. For poet Rosemerry Wahtula Trommer, the pain is palpable and the grief — the kind of grief only a mother can know — remains unwavering . Tragically, her son Finn took his own life just before reaching his 17th birthday. In the wake of this ...
Jul 28, 2024•53 min
This week, Alain de Botton , philosopher, author and founder of The School of Life talks about why today’s social and cultural environment is contaminating our peace of mind. De Botton suggests that in order to switch off and achieve some kind of balance in our lives, we need to become better editors and curators of what we are exposed to and shut out as much external negativity and noise as we can.
Jul 24, 2024•5 min
Sarah Hill, professor of social psychology at Texas Christian University and author of This is your brain on birth control: The surprising science of sex, women, hormones and the law of unintended consequences, shares her journey into exploring the effects of oral contraception on mental health. “I actually spent my early career studying the way our sex hormones can affect psychological states and motivation…and the desire to attract romantic partners.” It wasn’t until Hill went off oral contrac...
Jul 21, 2024•53 min
This week, Terry Real , renowned couples therapist and author “ Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship” reflects on the keys to building a successful long term relationship. In order to change inherited behaviors and dysfunction, Real cites his own struggle with family trauma and offers hope that with courage, discipline and hardwork change is indeed possible. This episode of Life Examined with Terry Real was originally broadcast June 23rd, 2024...
Jul 17, 2024•4 min
If you’ve ever been accused of ‘gaslighting' someone, you might find yourself unsure about what exactly you're being accused of. The term is the latest amongst a growing collection of popular psychological buzzwords used to describe manipulative or calculating behavior, but it's often misused and misunderstood. The term originated from the 1940s black-and-white film Gaslight where a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she’s crazy by subtly adjusting the intensity of their home's gas light...
Jul 14, 2024•53 min
*This episode originally aired on July 2, 2022. British writer Robert Macfarlane grew up loving mountains. A keen hiker, he says mountains are in his DNA – Macfarlane's father was a mountaineer and his grandfather oversaw some of the early expeditions and the first summit of Mount Everest in the 1950s. Macfarlane’s own passion for the extremes of the mountains and the wilds of the outdoors fostered yet another interest: writing. In his first book “ Mountains of the Mind ,” Macfarlane explored wh...
Jul 06, 2024•53 min
This week, Rabbi Steve Leder , author of “ For You When I Am Gone: Twelve Essential Questions to Tell a Life Story” reflects on the legacy we leave after we’re gone and suggests that rather than a long list of accomplishments, it’s the quality of our relationships, throughout our lives that have the biggest impact on our own happiness and how we are cherished and remembered by others. This episode of Life Examined with Rabbi Steve Leder was originally broadcast May 28th, 2022...
Jul 03, 2024•4 min
*This episode originally aired on January 14, 2023. From our earliest ancestors, we’ve been travelers — first as nomadic tribes, and later as raiders, traders, explorers, and colonizers. Whether by ship or by foot, it’s human nature to move and explore. Jonathan Bastian talks with travel writer, podcaster, and vagabond Rolf Potts about the merits of travel. Potts is the author of several travel books, including Vagabonding and Marco Polo Didn't Go There . In his latest book, The Vagabond’s Way: ...
Jun 30, 2024•54 min
After 30 years of experience counseling couples, therapist Terry Real reflects on what makes building a long-term relationship difficult and the skills needed to keep a partnership intact. Reals says that even with changing dynamics and non-traditional partnerships, the age-old problems still exist. “Despite all of the gender fluidity and all of the experimentation, a two-person paired-for-life, monogamous core, is still alive and well and extremely difficult.” The pressure is on to find that “p...
Jun 23, 2024•53 min
Judith Orloff , UCLA clinical psychiatrist and author of The Genius of Empathy: Practical Skills to Heal Your Sensitive Self, Your Relationships, and the World , explains that empathy is what connects us. It’s the ability to care, to listen, and to open our hearts. The practice of empathy, Orloff says, is a simple yet “precious gift” and that displaying empathy is the “best of who we are.” Orloff also says being empathetic is “a way we can save our world because empathy is the key element in rea...
Jun 16, 2024•54 min
This week, Katherine Morgan Schafler, author of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control , explores our relationship with the ideal of being a perfectionist. Morgan Schafler encourages greater self-awareness in managing perfectionism, saying it’s OK to be inspired without the expectation that we will ever achieve that goal. Katherine Morgan Schafler. Photo courtesy of Eric Michael Pearson This episode of Life Examined with Katherine Morgan Schafler was originally broadcast May 26th, 2024...
Jun 12, 2024•5 min
Doctor Elizabeth Comen and Pulitzer prize-winning journalist Linda Greenhouse talk about gender bias and its lingering impact on women’s healthcare and reproductive rights.
Jun 09, 2024•53 min
This week, Casper ter Kuile , co-founder of Nearness , and author of “ The Power of Ritual, ” discusses the value of building community and coming together, and offers some practical advice for forging meaningful connections including the ability to shift away from some of our accustomed patterns of giving advice and instead offer our full attention, loving presence and just listen....
Jun 05, 2024•5 min
Jonathan Bastian talks with writer, lecturer, and author Susan Cain about the sweet joy of sadness. Cain, author of Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole , reflects on the touch of sweetness that comes from sadness and despair and shares how a greater acceptance of these emotions can be beneficial and even therapeutic. Delve deeper into life, philosophy, and what makes us human by joining the Life Examined discussion group on Facebook ....
Jun 02, 2024•53 min
This week, Ryan Holiday , speaker and author of “ Discipline is Destiny: The Power of Self Control ” shares some advice on the stoic virtue of self discipline. Holiday says that in today’s world of abundance, self discipline and self imposed boundaries are fundamental to meeting our potential, achieving balance and leading a good life....
May 29, 2024•4 min
Psychologist Katherine Morgan Schaflter talks about her book The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control , the universal desire to seek perfection, and the need for greater self-awareness in managing perfectionism.
May 26, 2024•53 min
