Backup is three hours away. Part 2

I look up.

Two guys are walking towards us from the direction of the van. Both of them look mean and they're carrying baseball bats. Oh no, Leon, the kid on talking to turns around, sees them, turns to me and says, who are those two guys?

You're kidding.

I turned to him and go, They're not with you, and he goes, I've never seen him before.

Welcome back to Life and Crimes. We are here again with Mark Tregellis, who is a former remote area policeman who's written a crackerjack little book called back Up He three Hours Away, and today is going to tell us a couple more stories from the sixty odd stories that are in that book. Welcome Mark, Thanks Andrew. Great to be back now. I think you mentioned earlier something we prepared earlier, that you have a story to do with

On the night this story achieved in East s Gippsland, I had to admit legend status. By the end of this job, I had virtually every policeman in skips Land glued to the radio as to what would happen.

So where does it start?

So it starts in Malacuta, working by myself, and I get a phone call from the board, and the board back then was regional communications at Marbile Mar.

That is a fair just for anybody who's not sure about victorious geography. Maul to Malakuto they do start with them is about like Gladsgow to London. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a long, long, one long way. And they said, they came up and said, Tree, can you start heading out the highway? We got a job for you. So I'm heading out from a Polla Bay towards Genoa and I said what you got and they said, We've got a dirty yellow van with five offenders on board. They're doing multiple thefts and petrol drive offs from lakes New Marella or bost They've stolen a stuffed kangaroo from a pub. They're headed towards you and you're the only cop between

So just to explain to our listeners that a road does fork off northwoods up over the border country to it heads up to camera from that area.

So I arrived at the intersection at Genoa and the board came back to me and said, we've just had a phone call from the pub. They're headed your way and I've gone fabulous back up. And that's when the one of the times when I had the quote he goes back up three hours away and I've gone where is everyone? And apparently the forest protesters were going off up at Goodnook and everyone else was and that was three hours. So I picked up the New South Wales radio and got on to the New South Wales Board

Unusual, and what does it really mean.

I'm thinking, surely, if you're committing crimes, you're not going to be have that written on the back. But I thought, well, I guess I'm going to make them nervous, so I put the lights on and hit the sigron a couple of times, and the car pulls over, and then I'm sort of behind it, and I'm giving there my location, so I'm letting them know exactly where I am and what's happened. But then I look up and two girls get out of the van and walk past and walk

Chicks, and no one else in the van.

I'm tipping. This isn't my van. I said, hi, girls, how's your night going? And they said, yeaht is good, but for what there is? And did you pull us over? And I've gone you wouldn't believe it, but your van matches the description of one full of offenders that I wanted for crimes in this area. And the girls go, no, this is criminals? Is how violent?

Yeah? I go yeah, and they look at me and go, oh, this is so exciting.

I love Australia, and what pops into my brain.

But that the movie with the two Elma and Louise.

No, no, not that Austin Powers where I beat the two Japanese twins where you pull out your notebook, go to the back page and say things to do before I die. Number four have sex with van full of backpacker. So there's a tick, so I go, so, girls, you're excited. And just as I say that, what drives past another dirty ever So I go, sorry, girl's got to go. Jump in the van. Tear off after this one, come up behind it. Check the regio. It matches the partial that I've got, so I know I've got my crew.

Yeah, gets them, gets them. This poor kid who's got his got his shirt pulled up. There's just his jaws on the floor as he watches. And I start laughing.

I've got under the tannoy and said, have a good trip, Yvon. I go mate, drop your shirt, grab your license, come back and see me. Everyone else stay in the van. He walks back. What was with the other van And I go, oh, mate, German backpacka chicks, you know what they like?

What was with all the crime? What crime?

The petrol thefts, the drive off Barnsdow Lakes, New Morella. He goes, we haven't stopped in any of those places. I'm thinking, yeah, if I search a van and find a hoop of number plates, your stuffed.

What about the.

Kangaroo, Oh from the pub? Yes, that's right, the pub?

He said, Oh yeah, the guy was.

Just a nube and we grabbed it and threw it out fifty meters up. We just wanted to piss him off, that's all. And I went, okay, I think there's an offense in there somewhere. Do you have a license? Yeah, you got it on your No, okay, give me your details. So I got my head down and I'm writing his name and an address that I'm going to check on the computer.

I look up.

Two guys are walking towards us from the direction of the van. Both of them look mean, and they're carrying baseball bats. Oh no, Leon, the kid on talking to turns around, sees them, turns to me and says, who are those two guys, you're kidding. I turned to him and go, they're not with you, and he goes I've never seen him before, and I'm thinking, either bullshit, but he doesn't look like it's bullshit, and like, I have

You're kidding. It's the publican from the from where which.

Pace I won't say precisely, but it was in the region, and they'd thrown the baseball bats in the car and they've gone in hot pursuit and they've my head was driven past and they've pulled in in front of the van in front, but the van was wider than their car, so I couldn't see it until I stuck my head out the side and I'm just sitting there thinking, oh,

Oh good.

So I'm giving little epsots on the radio to D twenty four, saying everything under control, one person out of the van at a time. Two guys have just rolled up with baseball bats to seven guys having an argie barge. This is turning pears shapes, and I'm looking down at my little can of spray and I go this is just not going to cut it. So in the back we have the party packs, the big cans of spray. We got a couple, so I grab one in each hand, walk up to everyone and say, okay, everyone calm down

Drive off.

They're all over the road, Me and Leon watching, and Leon turns to me goes, they're drunk, and I go, no, they're not. They're absolutely plastered. And he goes, aren't you going to stop them? And I went no, because I'm still tipping I've got mcrooks. Fifteen minutes later, Eden rolls up, we strip the van. I found a girl in the back. I don't know how she quite got there, but that

They're the ones doing.

The petrol drive offs and the thefts. They haven't been swapping number plates. It's two separate cars. It was just a bit of bad luck with We didn't know that until the next day when we found out. It was a slightly different make, model and color. And the only thing these guys have done is the kangaroo and the

I don't know about that. I don't think we want to propagate. I don't think we want to propagate those sort of in my dreams. Possibly this is a funny story, and it ends up a funny story and it's great. But if this were to do with young murders and things, this, this is sort of stuff that can get people charged with things they didn't do because of a natural inclination to think it's the same band exactly.

And there were three bands, yes, three vans are the same on the same time. And I've never in my thirty one years, I've never had another job that could either come close to that.

That is a wonderful story.

So one of the other stories I had was I'm learning about country policing, and one day we caught a young kid, eight years old, Billy, stealing lollies on the way home from school. Now, there's nothing you can do with an eight year old that's stealing lollies except yelling him try and get his parents to do something about it. So we got him in the back of the van. We drive home. It was about twenty kilometers north of Portland.

You could have capped him and gone over bumps, not an eight year old.

So we we pull up outside and it's a dilapidated farmhouse. We're talking three foot high grass growing up in the thing, rusty car bodies, front door, hanging off the hinges. I've got Billy by the ear. I'm dragging him in. It's about six thirty at night, bed dinner time, and I can hear voices coming from the kitchen. So I stick my head around the corner and there's we'll call them the Smith family sitting at the dinner table, and Mars

You get the bet. I'll deal with you later.

Poor kid scamp is off and we sort of finish up and go, okay, well we're going to go. But if it happens again, straight to prison. Straight to prison. You're not but you're try and get creative. As I turned to leave, the lady sitting next to the old bloke who's eating, elbows in and says, hurry up, I'm getting hungry. The old blow goes oh for crying out loud, drops his knife and fork no joke, opens his mouth,

Is that a real story?

I told that we at an Australian Bravery Association conference in Canberra one day, and I admit there were a few people like you who were a little bit lary of the truth of it. But one of the guys in the audience who I did not know, raised his hand and said, I know that family. It turns out he was a nurse at the Portland Hospital the same year as I was there, but I never met him, and he said they used to come in and eat

Roughly where's that house.

Roughly about twenty k north of Inland, But when we finished the interview, I'll tell you their actual names.

Tony Wright my old time journo that was born and bred there and still lives there works he works at the age. But Tony Wright grew up at Portland and he will know that family. I reckon.

Look, I honestly don't know if everyone was waiting for the teeth, but certainly the lady next to him had put them in and started eating. And we sat in the car afterwards just with shocked looks on our faces and said, surely that can't be right. You can't have a universal fitting on a set of tenches. But then we worked out they're all genetically similar. It probably does fit good. So yes, I will remember that one un till the day I die.

Something that you might have seen it back of Omeo or day Go in the nineteen twenty No really really? Oh oh my goodness, mate, Mark Trigas, what's another story from your time as a remote policeman in remote parts of Victoria.

I will set the scene a smaller town than Malakuda, heading back towards Melbourne.

About an hour.

Two locals sitting in an apartment with the old right, having a bit of a choof the front door, gets kicked in in walks the assailant, who actually says who wants to die first?

Really, he's watching too much television.

The young guy smoking the joint takes a drag and goes well and points to the other guy.

Is that right you?

As I are probably thinking he had something awesome axe machete, samurai saw it, But in this small town he had half a pair of nails and he's not afraid to use them.

Is that right?

So he had his thumb stuck in the nail, says as, And they were bent up and he formed a fist, and I swear they were coming about a centimeter out between his fingers. So the young guy jumps up, goes what the f puts his hands up. The other guy steps forward, punches in the arm, and he cops a mosquito bite through his arm. He looks down and goes Hugh runs out. Another guy tries to get off the ground. He was sitting down, so the assailant runs over and starts punching him.

So the other guy starts.

Kicking him, and the second victim cops a miniuci through his thigh, his knee, his ankle, and his ass. Meanwhile, the young guy who's gone out has gone next door to wear resides the just moved to town, retired prostitute. I love this town, she hears what's going on?

A small, small town. Yes, there is not a largish down.

Small She hears what's going on, says, not on my watch, and goes over to sort both the idiots out, picking up a lump of four B two on the way. Now you can tell this is just going to get better, can't you. She walks in, sees idiot town. It's got plenty of four two in it?

Is that right? Yes?

She walks in, sees idiot one punching idiot two lines him up and sconds him with a four bee. Doesn't do a lot of good light pine, so she bashes him another couple of times until he turns around, takes it offer and says, don't do that. She goes stuff you suchine and wades into him with the fists. He still got the knife technically, so he grabs her holds her down. This gives ample opportunity for the second Stabbee

It would have taken some reconstruction.

So I'm taking a statement off the second Stabbo and he's telling me about the Sam book a bottle and I look at him and I go, so you bond him and he goes, yeah, yeah, bond him and just shake my head. Then I had to go see the prostitute. Hello, former, she's retired. She was the retired sex wicker. She was she decided the country exactly and had actually retired to the country. And I said, hello, I don't think we've been introduced. I believe you're new to town. She said, yeah,

Tale that I have ever heard. Where did that happen? Do you think you are? It was a town about an hour away from Malacuda Town in Victoria.

Yes, in Victoria, so that has to be. I mean, you're out as a couple, you meet another couple. How do you guys meet? That is a conversation started I ever heard one?

Was it? It had a timber mill in it this town?

It possibly could have, Yes, would have it.

It's not anymore. Puh.

You may be right on that one. So all three went to hospital. The two guys who were stabbed were told not to annoy the other doctor because it didn't even break the skin. But the poor guy who started at all has now been hit in the head so many times he wound up with a subduel in atoma

And did she ever find her lost love? No, No, I actually had a fair bit of time. I'm for her.

She obviously had had quite traumatic, tough life, but she had guts. Yeah, I mean, just to take on two guys, even with a lump of four by two still takes guts.

And I admire that. So, yes, good, that is a very very good story. Now, these stories and many others, of.

Course, well there's exty one in the book.

There's sixty one stories. Backup is three Hours Away by former policeman Mark Tregellis, who is north of two meters tall, and they're remarkable stories. Mark, They're terrific. It's really good.

I've got to say that the paperbacks out, the ebook you can get as well online, and today the audiobook comes.

Out and you read it or someone else. No.

Timothy Knightley is a professional voice actor and last I I looked online, he was living in London. But because it's so expensive to create professionally done audio books, they prefer to use professional voice actors. One of the things I did say is that I don't think I mentioned is that the book was one of six which was selected by the Melbourne Film Festival for potential adaptation into a TV series.

Oh that's good. So because this is where this is sort of where Heartbeat I remember exactly, or Country Practice. It's got a bit of all of that sort of excitement, pathos, humor all mixed in one half hour episode.

I don't know if it will come to that. There's a lot that needs to do and it'll be two or three years if it does, but it would be absolutely amazing if that was the case. So if anybody would like to pick up a copy of the book, it's available in Australia on big W. You can walk into a Big W shop and they have it under True Crime. You can also order it online at big W, at Amazon and at nearly all the other online bookshops. The audiobook is available on Audible. So I'm really interested

He saw I'd love to hear it. I doubt he's much better than you are yourself, to be honest. The beautiful thing about these stories, and we've only heard a sprinkling of them, there are many more in the book. The beautiful thing is they have the whi of authenticity, and the authentic always appeals to people. And I think that out there among our listeners, they will love the sound of something authentic, and I think a lot of people are going to want to read your book.

That's one of the things that people who've spoken to me who've read it were surprised at. They said that they had no idea that this is what remote area police officers got up to. They only see you giving out tickets or doing PBTs or road accidents or something like that. But there's this incredible other side of raising

Are in there, and we won't talk about the shot one because I happen to know the true story behind it, and I think it will come as a nice surprise. It will, yes or not, I suppose think it's not what most people think. No, that's good, Mark. You've told us a heap of good stories and I don't want you to tell us all of another one. But someone mentioned to me something about taking on neo Nazis, but in your pajamas or in your jobs or what was that? Don't tell the story.

I don't tell the story. But basically, there were three Neo Nazis just out of prison that were beating a woman almost to death, and I intervened, dressed in barefoot in a pair of pajamas. But in order to hear the rest of that, they'll have to buy the book.

I think that's a good idea. Mark, thanks for coming in once more, and now it's goodbye forever or until the next book. Absolute pleasure, Andrew, thanks for listening. Life in Crimes is a Sunday Herald Sun production for True Crime Australia. Our producer is Johnty Burton. For my columns, features and more, go to herald'sn dot com dot au forward slash Andrew rule one word. For advertising inquiries, go to news Podcasts sold at news dot com dot au.