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I'm so happy to be here. I feel like we haven't talked in a really long time, but that's a lie. We talked last week. It just had to be scrapped. Yeah, a lot of things had to be scrapped. Well, I believe that things happen for a reason. So that episode just wasn't it wasn't going to work. No. And So what had happened was, without giving you guys detail, we decided to have my daughter do an episode with us. And kids are fucking reckless.
And she just started talking about all kinds of information at school and things that kids do and whatever. And we were like, Oh yeah, we're not airing any of this shit. Yeah, I knew that kids these days were a lot Wilder just because of the Internet. Like, you know, when we were kids we couldn't just find everything on the Internet. But now, 20 years later, everything is on the Internet. So not only do they know everything, they have access to everything. And it's crazy.
There's a lot of shit too that I feel like kids all go through different things and have different home lives and whatever. And so then you can't really gauge at what rate and speed your kids are learning things and experiencing things because it truly doesn't matter what you're trying to limit them from at home, they're going to come
into it in the world. And it's all about like talking to your kids, I feel like, and preparing them for things that are going to come up in the world and then being able to have open discussions. And I told Brian I loved it so much. When Auntie Paige came out and you were like, oh, you can't go there again, You're never going there. Oh, absolutely not. And I was like, see, she doesn't even have kids. And she fucking knew what was up.
Like I that was my probably my favorite part of the whole thing. Yeah, I as an only child had a lot of exposure to things through my mom's friends and just being like in the room and being around things and I just can't. I think I will end up being a helicopter mom because I don't approve how these children are moving in the world. And I know my mom had strict rules for certain things, but was a lot looser on other
things. So to hear your daughter's experience with her biological mom and things that she had going on, it was triggering. It was triggering for me because now I as an adult realize, hey, that was wrong. Or your mom shouldn't have let you do that. Or being exposed to that wasn't OK, or that wasn't cool. And hearing other children, her friends, things that she was learning from other kids, like all of that was triggering for me. I'm sorry that it was a trigger.
I've noticed through us talking a lot of correlations that you and my daughter just have in common about, you know, mother experiences and and whatnot. And I knew that she feels like a bond with you. And I think that a part of that is just her energy knows that, like, you recognize and you see her. And I think that she doesn't always feel very seen and heard. And I think that that totally happened for her where she felt seen and heard.
Sometimes though, when you feel seen and heard, you just be letting your mouth run fucking reckless. She was over here talking like she's one of the fucking girls and she's like, let me tell you about this. And we're like, wait, no, I was so mad when we got off the call. She was like, are you angry? And I was like, I'm not angry at you. I'm just so mad that I can't protect you from the world and like, put you inside of a bubble and curate everything that happens inside of your reality.
Yeah. And I think that the way she opened up about certain things, not knowing that they were wrong or that that shouldn't have been happening, like, Oh well, this person knew I was doing that or this was already approved. That's what. Not triggering in a bad way, I feel like triggering it, triggering me in an awakening space of like, wow, as a child, I just thought all of this was OK because my guardian, my parent, allowed me to do that, you know, when I was a kid. You all.
I don't know why, but I must have been a really fucking cool 12 year old. Cause a lot of like 14 and 15 year old girls, not boys, girls. Wanted to hang out with me, wanted to come to my house, wanted to go to Florida with us, to the lake with us. And I look back on it now and like those kids didn't really have a good home life.
So coming to my life and coming to my house was like getting away or escaping from the poverty and the drama and the chaos, addictions and things that they dealt with at home. So yes, I'm sure they enjoyed hanging out with me, but it was more so like living vicariously through me of like, wow, Paige has Barbies and the Internet and a computer and a pool and all of these things that, like, I wish I had, but I can have those if I just hang out with her. And so I look back on that.
And my mom really, really liked that because she never had to pay a babysitter like, up until the point of me staying home alone. She never had to pay a babysitter at all when I was like 11 and 12 years old, because everyone around me was like 1415, sixteen years old. And I remember my neighbor, her name was Christina. She was born in like 89 and I was born in you know, the 90s.
So I just look back on that and I think like there's no way on God's green earth that as a teenager I wanted to hang out with 12 year olds ever. Like, at all. So when I look back on that, I'm like, you know, that was wrong.
Like even though they wanted to hang out with me and they were not, you know, influencing me to do anything negative, They literally came to my house to be more childlike and to have more childlike experiences that where they had to grow up really fast, where they had to stay home alone. But then that gave my mom, like this mental understanding of like, well, Paige is really mature. So she's allowed to do these things. She's allowed to be exposed to these things and hang out with
these people. And I just look back on that. And that was wrong. I feel like when I was younger, my mom was very, it's it's so interesting because you mentioned the things that, like, your mom was super laxed on and then the things that, like, she really cared about and she was like, you know, had more rules and guidelines on. And it's so interesting because there's so many things that were like, I had rules and regulations on and one of them was going over to people's houses.
Like, my mom was always insistent on I have to talk to the parents. I have to make sure that, like, they say that you're allowed to be there, whatever. And I hung out with people who I knew their parents would lie and say that we are at their house so that we could go and do
whatever. So like friends that I would make in like middle school and stuff like that, I would hang out with people who were getting into things that we couldn't get into, who didn't have responsible parents at home who were just going to let us run amok. And so people didn't necessarily, like, I had friends who would come over to our house or whatever, mostly because my
mom made food. But like, if you wanted to, like, hang out and get into shit, we're going over to your house where your parents don't give a flying fuck and you know, or your brother's got people that are in their 20s wanting to hang out with us and, you know, smoke us out or whatever it may be. And I also though, like, I feel the exact same way, like with my daughter.
And I'm always trying to figure out like what my balance is because you know, you heard things that are like really lacks and just like she's she's able to do that like you and I wouldn't let do. But when it comes to things like coloring her hair or whatever or doing her makeup or or those types of things where it's like self-expression, it's not harming anything. You're just expressing yourself.
I'm so open to her doing those. And that's, you know, where her biological mom is. Like, oh, that's the thing that I'm not cool with. And so Co parenting on things is just really interesting. I actually experienced the same thing she's experiencing. My mom would not let me get my nails done, color my hair. I think she, you know, let me get some highlights in middle school, but nothing like off the
verge of my natural color. And so I completely like my mom would not let me color my hair or get my nails done. But at a very young age, she lied and said I was older so I could get my belly button pierced and I had to hide it from my dad. So my dad did not know I had a belly ring until like well into high school. And when he found out that I had that, he came unglued.
And even though I had had it for like 4 years at this point and it was past like the stage of healing or getting infected or whatever, like he came unglued. And I remember him calling my mom. And this is kind of when my mom was going through her midlife crisis and I had moved in with him, and me and her really weren't close anymore. It was really her ex-husband and my dad that was raising me. She was Mia. She was in other states. She was wherever she was, not active or present in my life.
But if I wanted to do something or to get into something or lie about something, I would go hang out with my mom. And you know, I just went back on like my mom at like 1516 years old, just literally going to the liquor store and buying us like 1/5 of UV or 1/5 of vodka or 1/5 of tequila and letting us drink that at her house. And like, you know, of course, like we're young. We don't know our limits. You know, we've never had life or death experiences with alcohol.
So, like, everyone's just drinking and drinking. And I remember like 15, I had a party. My mom inherited a house, my uncle had passed away and we were living in this house. Or she was. And it was like, you know, he died there. So it was a little haunted. It was creepy. It wasn't like, you know, inviting. But she was letting me and my high school friends like, party there. Like she wouldn't even be there
half the time. But she would tell my dad I was going to be with her for that weekend. And I remember one of my friends got so fucked up, she had to call her parents to like, come get her, like, it was like, you know, really bad. And I remember her parents were like, her mom just let you all do this at home. And she's like her mom isn't even here like that, you know, Like they thought she came to my house to stay the weekend and was like going to be safe and someone was going to be home.
But then like, her same parents let her smoke weed at a very young age. So like, you know, some people are like throwing stones at one parent for doing this, but then let them do something else. Like, you know, I don't know. So it's really weird what some parents allow and some parents don't allow. Like, my dad would have never. But there are so many parents that I look back. They're like, we knew if we went there we could smoke weed.
Or we knew if we went there, you know, their mom had klonopins and we could take them. Or, you know, or if we went there, there was a liquor cabinet full of liquor. And I used to babysit for my aunt. And I remember we, after the kids went to bed, me and my friend got really drunk in their liquor cabinet. We filled it up with water, Like what?
Like what we drank. So I ended up getting in trouble for that, like two years later because they were like, yeah, that really, it's been some vodka that we had. It was diluted with water. I wonder how that happened.
Oh my fucking God, dude. See, when you tell me the story about your belly button piercing with your dad, I wonder how much of it was, like, actually angry about the belly button piercing and actually angry that, like, there's something being kept from him that like, other people are in on. Because I know that, like, that's something for us.
That's always, like, really frustrating is when there's like purposefully a secret that she's supposed to keep about her or about something else that, like, she should be saying. And it's like everything can be done as a team. But if there's going to be secrets about things, then it, like, creates a mistrust of not knowing, like, what other things like, Is your safety being lied about? Is there other things like and So I wonder for your dad finding
out like this? You've had this for four years and I haven't been in the loop. Like what the fuck else is mine not being told about? Oh yeah. I've never seen him as mad as he was. And there was like a stretch where, you know, they didn't really involve the courts, but at any time, my dad could have flipped the script and took her for child support. But I think that he was afraid that she wouldn't pay or follow
the rules. And then me, as an angsty emo teenager, would have been like, you put my mom in jail. Like, I wouldn't have understood the concept. But, you know, it just became, like a very big choice in my eyes. Like, I have to go live with my dad, even though it's gonna be stricter and hard and not fun. All this isn't fun anymore. It was like a part of me, like
my spirit team. Something awakened me to be like, look, we know you're not going to like this decision, but you have to willingly go make this decision because in the courts eyes, you know, my mom was a fit parent. Like they never had anything on record. And you know, back then CPS would come to school and just like sit down with every kid, like whether you've had any
issues or not. Like they would come to our school and we lived in a, you know, a poverty type area and it was an Independent School, not a public school. And so CPS would just come and at this school you could also sign a paper and they could paddle your kid if they were in trouble. Like yeah, it was a really weird place. So, you know, we as a school, CPS would come and just sit down and talk to people. Like they would give classes, They would sit down and they
would just ask you questions. Like, do your parents make you dinner? Do you go to bed hungry or do you have clean clothes? Like just random shit? And then, you know, kids are loudmouth, but they don't know what they're saying. Just example like your daughter, they don't know what they're saying, if it's right or if it's wrong or if it's going to trigger something.
So they're like, yeah, my mom was never home at night or yeah, we don't have food at our house or you know, that kind of thing. And then it would open acps case. So I knew even as like a young 10 year old, not to say like, Oh yeah, some nights I go to bed and my mom's not home or some days there's all these people at my house smoking or you know, doing whatever, like whatever it is. My kid busted and can I go to the book fair? Why? Really pleased.
You know, out of all the times I've paid attention to things on the road, I saw a semi and it said the Scholastic Book Fair and I was like, that's so crazy because I've never seen that semi before. Dude, they have those all over the place and they so when they go and set up the book fair, they drive in the Scholastic like Big Rig. And so that's probably why you saw they're probably going to set up at a school. Yeah, that's what I thought.
The I remember the book fairs used to be so much cooler, maybe just 'cause we were a kid. But I just felt like they had so many different, like, types of books, so many different stuff. And now, like, he Mac comes home with the stuff that he got from school and I'm just like, that's you got an eraser dispenser.
What happened? Like we used to have the fluffy pens and like the little charmed like journals that you could get that have little locks on it. Yeah, I used to love getting those best friend journals where you, like, would fill them out with a friend, would be like, how did you all meet? What is your favorite color? What are your goals? And I have a bunch of them that are like halfway filled out, like, 'cause I would, like end up not being friends with that
person or something. Like, I have a bunch of those little journals that are like halfway completed and they would come with like all these stickers and all these little like tabs and different things. But yeah, I know $20 used to go really far at a book fair. I'd be shocked if $20 goes far these days. No, it totally doesn't go far. Matt came home yesterday. It looks like a soda dispenser and you push a button and it drops down a mini little soda
can eraser. So there's a bunch of different flavors. That thing was 850 and it's like this big. And on team oh, it was like. $0.50. Literally, that's why it's hard for me to buy a little knickknacks. Like we went on a road trip last weekend to a concert and they had little key chain Chuck shoes, but they were bedazzled like just all the way diamond and it was 599. So I was like, juber, do you want one of these? Because like, I'm going to get one.
So I bought her one and I got a few other things and literally my total was like $22.00 and I was like and This is why I don't go to gas stations like This is why I never go inside a gas station. I buy Red Bull, buy the case. You know, if I won't want to have one, I don't need to go to a gas station because I inevitably spend 20 plus dollars every time I go. Yeah, Nope. I and I don't really buy knickknacks and shit when I'm
out. And I always just find that things are like super overpriced unless I'm going somewhere that's like a monumentous place and will usually like, pick up a postcard from that place. And like, that's our thing is, hey, we bought a postcard here, we have a picture of it. We'll add it to like a little travel book or something. But everything's always overhyped.
You can go online and you can buy a fucking Michigan State sweater and not have to spend $45 on it because you went to Michigan. Well, it's like, you know, buying something at an airport, whether it's candy or knickknacks or souvenirs Like, it's very expensive because most people that are purchasing something at an airport have forgot it. So they're willing to pay $45.00 for a travel pillow when it was 1299 at TJ Maxx. And so, I don't know, I see that meme.
It floats around and it's like, you know, a bottle of water can be $0.30 in a pack or all the way up to 850 at a concert or a festival. And it's like, it's the same thing, but it's about the area that it's in or, you know, wherever it's being offered. And it's like, never sell yourself short because of what you're being offered. Never sell yourself short because of the environment that you're in. You know, at home water comes out of the faucet and then at a festival.
Water should be free at festivals in my opinion. Like not just water fill up stations, but like easily accessible to water. Dollar bottle of water. You're out here selling alcohol for $657.00 but a bottle of water is 8 or a Gatorade is 8 like. No wonder people are out here seizing and having alcohol poisoning. You know, it's like so many areas of our life. We're willing to pay more for
something. But then when someone starts a business or someone starts doing hair or whatever, then you want them to do it at cost or for free. And that's what blows online with the Internet is like. There are apps like Wish and Team Mood that you can get these little knickknacks and little trinkets on for very cheap.
But then you put it in a Scholastic book fair where there's children being involved, and all of a sudden you're going to pay 850 for junk, for junk that he's going to look at one time the smells going to wear off of those erasers and they'll end up in the floor. Yeah, I've paid like the $9 that it costs to get a bottle of air of water at the airport before because they don't let you take anything in when you go in
there. And so then you're in there and you're like, well, a bitch is thirsty. I have to wait six hours for my flight. I also recently saw this post that said if the post says looking for blah blah blah that doesn't charge an arm and a leg, don't tag me because I don't want their business. And I reread that for a minute and I was like, no, literally it makes me think of people who have been like, oh, what are, what are your prices? And then been like, ah, yeah,
that's really expensive. Or and then gone and booked with, you know, you or gone and booked with somebody else. It's happened to both of us where we're just like, what? Like what do you mean? I honestly have so many like protection things that I just don't even attract clients who are not willing to pay my price. Like I have clients that are already picking days in May and like I'm not worried about someone who isn't wanting to pay for quality or isn't ready to
pay for quality. Like you know when I did the flash reading, the amount of people who thought that was a video reading when it clearly said it was a three question e-mail flash reading. Like the fact that so many people, not just one like 5 different people thought it was a video reading just tells me a lot about, like, they didn't read, they just booked, they didn't look at the confirmation
e-mail. And I noticed that whenever people pay 50 plus dollars for an e-mail reading, I never have an issue. They always receive it, they're always patient, they always know it's going to be an e-mail and so forth. But on this one, there were so many people that were like 2 weeks later, hey, did you send my reading? And I'm like, yeah, I'll resend it like just so many people that like, overlooked it because a $33 investment, it isn't a big deal to a lot of people and they
don't take it as serious. And so that's why I like, I like my prices being at a certain level because of the level of client that you're going to bring in if you offer a service to anyone and it's free, like free estimates, I don't know how many contractors have they advertise free estimates. Do you know how many people waste their time on a weekly basis getting an estimate for something they're never going to get? And I've done it before.
I was going to redo my bathroom and I got a free estimate it was $20,000 for a closet sized bathroom. And I was like, no, like, I'm good, you know? But that free estimate. A lot of people charge more on the back end because they're willing to give you this free estimate when I would rather them just give you a virtual quote. Send me photos of your space, measure your space and I'll render a A online quote for you, a generalized online quote for you.
But when I'm getting a quote for like 15,000, it's not even going to include materials. And at one point I wanted to knock a wall out and widen the space and collapse a closet and make it like a big bathroom space. The difference between collapsing the closet and leaving the wall up was only at $1200. So you're telling me knocking an entire wall down, moving the electrical plates, rewiring it and putting a wall back up. You're telling me that only is a $1200 difference?
No, no thank you. And like the amount of people that will ask you a million questions but have no intentions of supporting your business, I'm sure is a lot in the contracting world. Well, I'm sure and like especially in the contracting world because we see that on like a small scale with our business too. There's a reason that I started doing spiritual advice and guidance on my website and it's because I was so tired of being asked questions for free all the time.
I feel like, and we've discussed this before, but there's so much content that we put out on, on social media, doing group readings, whatever, having super discounted things on our Patreon. Like there's so there's so much the readings are discounted when you get them through Patreon, just everything. And then to just have like bombardment of additional questions about things.
And I really want your time on this and I want to trauma dump all this information and get your point of view, spiritual advice and guidance. Because time is valuable. Energy is valuable. If you want me to sit down and have this time to go through and energetically feel out all the information that you're giving me and give some type of guidance, I'm charging for that. And there are people sometimes I never when I first started doing it, I had people that were like,
wow, that's so rude. Because from the Coven of Rejects podcast, they're just like when you're giving out advice like I do on that podcast, that's something that's happening for free. So then it's just expected that your time is just always going to be free. And then now that's different. Now I get people that are like, they either book it or OK, well, I'm going to save up for that. And that'll be something that, like, I gift myself or that I
asked for my birthday. And I always, I always love that where someone's like, I'm going to budget that in and I'm going to do that instead of being like, well, I really don't have the money for that and that's really expensive. Can you just give me a discount on it? Because if Spirit leads me to give you a discount, I will. That's why on Patreon, for all levels, I started doing just like monthly, like this past month. I gave them for the month of April.
If you're on Patreon, you can get $50 off any service. That's $100 or more, and I've had a lot of people who get monthly readings, sign up or spell work or a Reiki cleanse or things that they don't normally get. And that's why, like, I'm starting to change things around where there is a level where it just includes the group spell work. Like it's just going to be the
group spell work. Or if you want to upgrade and you want a reading the group spell work and a personal spells, you have options for that. But like, I understand not everybody can like spend a certain amount every month. So I like to make things like affordable. But when Bunny XO changed over her pay grade from like $5 to $10 and 15 to 25 and people were losing their shit, it really made me evaluate of like, when you make yourself affordable to everyone.
Like she's had this $5 level. I've been on it for almost four years and I've never thought, oh, she's doing not enough. I've always thought, damn, she's doing way too much. It's way too much for me to consume as a consumer for $5. I feel like the $5 is just like a like a, a support and all this
stuff is bonus. So when all of these people were just absolutely going crazy over the fact that she upgraded these levels to the point where now like her top levels, you're getting like presents and prizes and live zoom calls and all these things. Like it's like she's just went
above and beyond. And the whole time I was thinking, and I know we talked about it, that she was doing way too much for $5. And you get people accustomed to having full access to you for 5-10, fifteen, $20, they think they own you. And I understand, like, hers is a huge platform where, you know, if everyone's giving you $5, you're making a half, $1,000,000 a month.
Like, you know, understand that. But it's like the fact that people thought they were being taken advantage of because she was going to add a $10 and a $25 level really blew my mind. And it really made me realize how much I appreciate my monthly clients and my clients who just upgrade. They just pay what they pay and they get their services and they're happy and they're grateful and they're pleased and
there's never any drama. But man, was that causing a ruckus on Patreon when she did that. And I just thought, like, these people are fucking nuts. What I always think is interesting is once people get money, then if they charge for anything, if they raise the price on something, then they're just money hungry or whatever.
And so it's, it's interesting to me to have people who have been OK with paying the $5 literally watching her form that platform from nothing and create all of this, Do all this content grow and grow and grow to the point that now like there's so much that she's putting out there to just keep up with the rate of people. So she raises prices and then now people are like, you know, she had comments like, oh, you're selling out or you used to be for like the people who
were broke or whatever. And now you're, you know, you think that you're too good for us or whatever. And that part to me is the the part that for her specifically, was really interesting to me because she's always been about the people. She's always made things affordable. Her Patreon is still extremely affordable for the content that you're getting.
And she also has a lot more people now who screen record her segments and who posts things publicly for other people to see and take clippings off of, you know, episodes and things like that. And if there's something about her, she's going to make a fucking coin off of it.
So if you're going to sit there and you're going to be screen recording her shit and you're going to be shit talking, she absolutely should be upping the price of the tears so that you're having to pay some more money for that. And she is going to have energy vampires around her because she's such a light. It's like drawing moths to a flame sometimes, and I'm glad that she fucking is doing her thing and hustling through it and raising prices.
And if people don't want to pay it, then they can go suck a rock. Yeah, I completely agree. I was just like adding to the fact that like when people think like, you know, I used to do readings for 15 dollars, $20 and like that amount of clients I would have was a bigger number, right? It was a bigger number of clients that are willing to pay 15 or $20.00.
But when I raised my prices like a year ago, I will say that like the volume of customers went down, but the quality of customers went up. Because once again, every time I do a flash reading, there are people that are like, when are you gonna do my reading? Oh my God, I know I'm booked it next Thursday, but it's Tuesday and I really would like my reading or, oh, I thought this was going to be a different type of reading. I thought this was a live segment. I was hoping that I was getting
a video link. You know, like they're not reading the fine print. Because investing a a smaller amount of money isn't triggering them to look at the fine print. But when someone's going to invest $111.00, they're reading it, they're reading it, They're making sure that it's a video reading. They're making sure that it's what they're they're expecting to receive.
And I don't mind the questions. Like, you know, a lot of people end up apologizing or feeling upset or, you know, like they feel bad for bothering me. And I don't, I don't mind answering questions. I just ask that people before spending your money with anyone, not just me, anyone that you know what you're paying for. Just like when we purchase Netflix and there's three levels, there's one that you know, everyone in your family can get on. There's one that's just for one household.
There's one that's got some commercials. Pay attention to that like you would with anything. Whether you're going to get new tires and they give you 3 levels of tires, One's 501's, 1001's, 1500. Well, they all do the same thing, yes, but the $500 tires come with no warranty, no roadside, no nothing. The 1500 ones are guaranteed for three years.
Well, if you're a single mom and you're or a single person and money's tight, I would say always go with the middle because you're going to want some type of warranty. Because what's going to happen is you're going to pull up to your kids daycare and get a nail in your tire three weeks after you bought them. And for those that didn't get the warranty, they're going to get on Facebook and perpetuate that negativity of this always happens to me.
And every time I try to do something, this always happens to me. But that is the self fulfilling prophecy that I learned about in psychology. A lot of people are so caught up in the story they tell themselves that they actually create it to be true. They actually create it and draw it closer to them. I gave a speech about this this past weekend. A lot of people hear about manifesting and the law of attraction, but they just disregard the Law of assumption.
And if you assume it's going to be hard, it's going to take all this time and energy and money and resources, and you don't have them, you're going to reject the opportunity for something amazing to happen. 100% and people, I don't think that people pay enough attention to the fact that you also create realities based off of emotion. And just because you feel that it's a certain way doesn't mean that it is that way.
And so there are a lot of people who think that they're doing self reflection and that they're aware of the actions that they have and the way that they're influencing others around them. But they're really just acting on emotional responses and how it emotionally is making them feel, which usually transposes and to others around them feeling taken advantage of or feeling like the person is a narcissist.
Which is why I think, I think that a lot of people who get called narcissistic aren't true narcissists. They are just emotionally wanting gratification from things. And the only way that they can see the world is based off of how it's emotionally affecting them. And those are the people who will be the most insistent that they are self aware that they're on their healing journey, whatever. And you're like, do you not see the catastrophe that is like
constantly around you? That's because of you. Yeah, and unfortunately when you grow up in like fight or flight mode, we develop a victim mindset. And I as a child developed a lot of like, isolation tendencies, mainly because kids my age were not being exposed to what I was being exposed to. So not only did I think it was acceptable, I knew at some rate in my head that like, I couldn't communicate to that level with everyone.
Like, I couldn't just tell everyone, like, yeah, my mom lets me do this or my mom lets me do that because then you've got that nosy parent that's gonna call CPS on her own accord or you know, whatever. So hanging out with older kids or hanging out with people that were way more mature and like way more, just not in that child like stance.
I knew as a kid, deep down subconsciously, that I couldn't hang out with other 12 year olds when I was actually hanging out with 15 year olds doing things I wasn't supposed to be doing, you know? So I do think our environment feeds into it. And what I always like to encourage people is a read that fine print, but B stop projecting your limiting beliefs into new scenarios. It's just like that in relationships, which is probably the most relatable way so many people will be in an abusive or
toxic relationship. And instead of working through those insecurities and those fears and those traumas that have either been projected or absorbed, you then get into another relationship. And then you love bomb or you trauma bond or you attached to this new person and project those insecurities onto them and onto the relationship.
You know, I see things cycle around and they're like, if my partner doesn't want me to have Snapchat, I'm going to delete it. If my partner doesn't want me to do this, I'm going to listen, OK, cool. Respecting your partner is cool. But a lot of that is an isolation technique that narcissists use to isolate you from your daily interactions. So if they're going to abuse you physically, mentally, spiritually, they don't want you
snapping. They don't want you snapping your friends every day because they're going to see the slow decline of your looks, your happiness, your aura, your, you know, taking care of yourself. You know, I've always seen people get relationships and they used to model or they used to get ready every day, or they always used to go out and have fun with their friends and then they get into a relationship and that's non existent and then it's all. Fuck everybody. They don't reach out to me.
I'm not reaching out to them. That's what that narcissist has put into your mind. Because a real friendship is 5050, and sometimes it's 7525 because this person's going through something, or they're going through postpartum or a divorce or a change in their life. And it's not all about you. They're not just laying up at night. Like, how can I piss Jessica off by not reaching out to her? You know, that's not what
they're doing. But people that want to isolate you and manipulate you will put these little, I don't know, little ideas in your head and then you absorb them. So if you've absorbed those from your family and your friends growing up, it's going to be a lot of self work and self accountability to breakthrough those barriers.
So there's an analogy that I've heard before that I always reference, and it's that bringing toxicity or bringing anything from an old relationship and bringing it into a new relationship is the exact same as you coming with a cup that has spoiled milk in it and then pouring fresh milk into it and expecting it to taste good.
It's not going to because regardless of how good and how pure and how fresh the new thing is, if you're coming with the old funky bullshit, it's going to make the entire thing taste bad no matter how much you're coming with it. And in regards to, you know, like friendships being like give and take and having different percentages, we even just with you and I, we even see that in our own friendship where like you're like, girl, I know you've been going through some shit and
so you've been quiet. I just was like, is she mad at me? I know you weren't. But like, it was just on my mind and I read that and I was like, no, I could never be mad at you. Sometimes you're just like, so focused on what you got going on in life. And to me, I think that sometimes people are quiet because they don't want to put their shit on somebody else.
They're like, I I'm figuring things out right now, and if we have a conversation about what's going on in my life, I'm going to tell you what's going on in my life. And that just feels like a lot. And there's not a need for me to, like, trauma dump or involve you in shit. And so I'm going to keep pushing with what I got going on. And the last thing that somebody needs is thinking that their friends are going to hold space for them when they're going to
need space held for them. And then somebody going, Oh well, you haven't talked to me in 2 weeks. So it's fuck you because you you don't want anything to do with me. And you're like quite the opposite. I thought this was a safe space that I was just going to be able to return to when I when I, you know, had the space and time. A lot of people hold their friends to certain standards but then get dog walked in their relationships like, oh, you're not reaching out to me.
You're not inviting me. You don't care about me. But then you let your partner gaslight you and leave you behind. And you know, I've seen people, especially as of recently like Mercury retrograde energy. Like I asked my partner to start doing this and they're doing the
opposite of that. Like, there's almost like this punishment, give and take, that people do in relationships where it's like, hey, this is really hurting me, that you don't do this or this is triggering me. That you're not putting effort towards this and instead of actually flipping the script into that direction, they gaslight you into thinking you're the problem or that they're already doing enough.
Like a lot of men have been taught, you are a provider and all you have to do is go to work and provide. And then when you come home, you're like a child. You need to be waited on and you need to be your dinner better, be prepared and your clothes better be clean. But when your wife says, hey, can you take that trash out? I'm in the middle of cooking. They're like, I'm not doing that or I don't want to do that or they won't get up and do that.
So now you've got your hands in raw meat and you're trying to like cook and now you've got to run outside and take the trash out. You know, like there's just so many elements to it. But whenever that was the expectation, women were also at home getting a mental break for like 6 to 8 hours without children and men around.
So yes, they were able to have self-care and they were able to have lunches with the girls or, you know, sit in the front lawn and and prune their roses or whatever it was. But now you expect a woman to go to work just as long as you and then come home and you or like a second job. No wonder so many women in this day and age are choosing not to get married or resent their partner. Because that mindset is literally so far off track of
like, where society is like. That's why I always encourage people like make space and get a house cleaner. You know, have someone cut your grass. Like if you and your husband don't get any time together and then on your off day you're cleaning and he's cutting grass. Make it apparent to fucking pay someone to do those things so that your off day is your off day.
And OK, maybe you can't go to a nice steak dinner, but you can go to a sports bar and sit outside on the patio and have a drink and and eat in peace without thinking. I'm so wore out from cleaning all day. Or I'm so grumpy from being in the sun mowing the yard all day. Whatever. So I don't know. I think a lot of people are looking for 5050, but if you're not giving yourself 100, you're showing up fragmented and you're
looking for someone to save you. I think both partners need to be giving 100 because 5050, like I guess worked before, but for me, I give myself 110 and if someone else isn't coming in that same energy, it starts to irk me. And I've told men this before, so I'll say it again. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I understand. Life happens. You've got a flat tire, you've got no car wreck, you changed jobs, you moved out and got a
new place. Like, I understand that life stressors are constantly happening and it does not matter how prepared you are. Sometimes it throws you for a loop. But what bothers me is when men use that as an excuse. And an excuse to be shitty, or to give you half or to give you 25%. And then they keep stringing you along like promising you, Oh well, once I adjust to this job, it'll be different. Or once I get my car fixed, I'll come see you.
Or once this happens, this magical thing's going to shift in my life and it irks me to my core when people do that in relationships, Especially people who don't have their life together out here pursuing new relationships. Someone tell all y'all right now. If you've just went through a breakup, a divorce, something that's traumatic, health changes, family changes, grief work, you need to be working on healing all of that.
Because jumping out and getting a new distraction or getting a new partner or whatever, it isn't going to fix your issue. But so many people would rather not work on themselves and come over here and disrupt your happiness and disrupt your peace. Or get a dog that they're going to re home in six months or get an animal they can't take care of. Like, that's the shit that bothers me the most. It's not when people fall short
because I'm very understanding. It's when you're constantly making excuses to give someone less than half of your full attention. But then the moment that they set a boundary and they're like, no, that's not gonna work for me. You're back on Tinder or you're over here and got a whole new relationship going with someone else who isn't tired of your bullshit yet someone else who isn't aware the game that you played.
And I don't know how many people approach me knowing damn well they're not ready for what I have to offer. Like, if you can't even do half of what I'm doing for myself, then leave me the fuck alone. I'm so glad that I'm not, like in the dating scene on things because it really feels like it's the day and time when people just have so much access on their phones to like over stimulation to like, Oh well, I'm bored right this second and she's busy and she said that she
had to work or whatever. I love a girl that's working, but I'm super lonely over here, so I'm going to go back onto Tinder and I'm just going to go, you know, whatever and oh, you see me on Tinder. Well, we never agreed that we were official or anything like that.
And there are people. But see, my thing is that in the dating scene, you're just out here getting to see more people that are operating that way because you're talking to multiple different people for like short spurts of time, where I think that a lot of people operate that way in everyday life. I think that people how multiple people, the same thing that they have going on because they don't want to wait for their friend to text them back. So they're like let me trauma dump on you.
Let me say all these things over here. I think that there are lots of people who are different versions of themselves with multiple people and who portray themselves to be a bunch of different ways so that they can just get a bunch of different things out of them. And I just, I don't really have much patience for that. And I say that like my circle here is really small where I
live. And that's because I am incredibly picky about the type of person that I'm going to have around me, the type of friends that I'm going to have, the I want to see how people move for an extended period of time before I give you any type of trust or whatever. I always hate the saying that like respect does, like shouldn't be what is it? Respect should be earned. Because I think that you can instantly, just like be a respect, tactful person. Respect somebody when you meet
them. I think that trust is something that needs to be earned. I can still be respectful towards you and not fucking trust you worth a damn. I agree with that statement. Honestly, I think a lot of people have no capacity to actually be in relationships or actually have solid friendships because they don't treat themselves with that same respect.
And I noticed that as I've evolved as a human and as a person spiritually, I have attracted better friends where, you know, me and Jim and I did not talk for like 2 weeks. We had a lot of things change and a lot of things shifted, but there was a part of me that was like, oh, she's mad at me. She doesn't want to do the podcast anymore.
But then the other part of me was like, no, I know she's really not mad at me. She has a lot going on and there's been like an added human into their routine that like that's going to take time to adjust. Especially when your daughter's like a little Spitfire and is used to doing whatever the fuck she wants to do. So like, you know, that's that fear based energy of like everyone's mad at me. Everyone's doing something to personally hurt me or attack me that we're all taught.
We are all taught that, and I don't know why. A lot of us have absorbed that from our childhood, but so many people take things personally, and I try to practice what I preach and use the four agreements, which is don't take nothing personally, don't take anyone's actions, words or feelings towards you personally. Be responsible for your actions. Be responsible for your words. Be with impeccable with your
word is one of the agreements. But if you know, you're being impeccable with your word and you're being kind and you're showing up in the ways that you would, you know, normally show up, then you can't take someone's energy or their, you know, whatever they got going on as personal towards you. You know, I started manifesting. And I don't mean this in a mean way, but I love all of my friends that have kids and I love all of my friends that like, have gotten married and
done all these things. But in the last like 10 years of me not having a kid, not getting married, not doing all of those things, I have went to countless bridal showers, Bachelorette parties, baby showers, first birthdays, all of these things only to a couple years later not talk to this person at all. And I don't mean in a mean way of like, I don't want to be invited, but I I kind of don't want to be invited.
Like, I don't want to take my Sunday or my Saturday and go spend time with a bunch of people I don't know, buy a $50 present, take that time away from me, away from things I have, going to not be friends two years later or to not even talk two years later. And it's not even that we're not cool. It's just that now your life has evolved into this direction, and I'm still your single friend who
is in this direction. And you know, there was one friend of mine that in like 2 years she graduated college. She got married. So she had a Bachelorette party, a bridal shower and the wedding. Then she instantly got pregnant. So she had a diaper reveal or gender reveal and a baby shower. That was two things. And then the kids first birthday. So within two years I'd went to like 10 parties for this girl and bought a present every one of them. And here we are.
You know the one kid is probably like seven and the other one I've never even met. I think he she's like 5 and I don't like feel any ill intention. Like we're cool. We're now like Facebook friends.
We went from being very close right hand man friend to Facebook friends and you know we'll DM back and forth like we should get together, we should get together And like she hit me up one day and was like what would you charge to do a party of readings And I told her what I would charge and that was it. Like I think she thought I was going to come show up to this party just to be invited and charge $10.00 for a reading.
Like no, I'm not driving an hour away and reading for 10-12 people that I don't even know and making less than I would for one hour session online don't have to leave my house. You know, that's The thing is like we don't ever talk. But then she wanted like that right hand man discount kind of thing and like no hard feelings. I don't have any, but I think because she went on to a different path and is doing the mom and and wife thing, she hangs out with people who are
doing the mom and wife thing. So you know, I don't hold grudges or take that personal, but I just learned that in the back of my mind I don't really want to be invited. Like I'll congratulate you and see you from afar and and cheer you on, but I don't want to be invited, like unless we are like right hand close, close. I'm good.
Like, I'm good. And then there's a part of your ego though, that sees like the party happen or sees something happen and you didn't get invited and you're like, damn, I didn't get invited. But I have to remember, like, that's what I want. I don't want to be invited. I want to cheer you on from the side, but like, congratulations on your baby. But I I'm tired of buying $50 gifts in this economy for people that like, I don't even see your baby. I don't even know your baby.
There are friends that I make exceptions and I go to their kids parties and I'm very involved with their kids and I love kids, but it's like a lot of people just invite people to fill up the roster to get free shit in my opinion. You should invite people and give people a butt. Give people a butt out option. Like, hey, I'm going to be
throwing a baby shower for this. I also know that you don't really have, you know, kiddos or whatever, and you're always pretty busy, so if you're not able to make it totally OK, no hard feelings. I just didn't want you to feel left out. That's like, those are the best invites. When you tell me I have the option to not come, I'm so grateful because chances are I see the preview of your text being like, hey, this is going on and I'm like, Yep, I'm washing my hair that day.
Like, I do not want to put pants on. I'm definitely busy. So I'm just going to leave you undelivered because I certainly don't want to have to, like, reject you. Whereas if you've given me the out, even if I just, even if I say yeah, I'm going. I know that your feelings won't be hurt if I don't end up making it. I I'm not a fan of going and fucking doing things, but I also I don't unless you're like my sister, I don't want to go to your baby shower.
I I truly don't give a fuck. Like people have babies every day. You're going to get a shit ton of gifts. They're mostly going to come from your parents and there's going to be a bunch of shit that you get that you're not going to remember who gave it to you. Literally. There's usually somebody out of baby shower who is writing a list of what the gifts are and who they came from because they don't remember.
I'm not going to be stressed out over here because I went and bought you a gift and I hadn't budgeted for your baby shower. So now I spent $50 on something you don't even know is from me and you're never going to use. And then you're going to end up selling it on Facebook Marketplace in five years for half the fucking value. And it's new in the box. Like, I I'm just not interested in that. Yeah. No, thank you. And I say that in the nicest way possible.
Like, I genuinely support you from afar. And I say this like with love. I don't mean that in a rude way, but, like, unless you would take a bullet for me, I'm not coming to your baby shower. Like, you know, like, I I support people. And another thing about baby showers that irks me and I maybe have said this before is you're only supposed to have one baby shower per gender. So you can't have a girl and then a year later have another girl and have another baby shower.
It's actually tacky and I think it's like a old wives tale or or something. You're only supposed to have one baby shower. Maybe it's superstitious, I don't know, but it's per gender and only if the first and two babies are five years apart. Those are the rules. Don't shoot the messenger, but you all having this new thing where we have diaper parties, gender reveal parties, and baby showers for one child, and then you turn around a year or two later and do the same shit again.
No, that's not that's not it. Especially if you're getting three parties for one baby. No, no, thank you. And I think a lot of my friends just know that I don't want to come to their gender reveal. Like I will just watch the live stream that your aunt streamed on Facebook and at the end I'll watch the pink or blue powder pop into the air.
But I don't need to be there. Mainly because what I find is it is such an awkward experience because I show up to these parties and I only know the the people that are having the child or the people that are in the main thing.
And then I think honestly, as a person throwing a party that would have to stress me out knowing I invited a bunch of different people who don't know each other and they only know me. So then they try to seek, like segue to talk to me, while meanwhile, simultaneously everyone else is trying to segue to talk to me.
That would stress me out. Like, I understand if you were in a sorority or fraternity and you've got like some close knit friend group that they're all friends and all your wives and partners hang out together. OK, cool. But other than that, it's just awkward. It's awkward for the people you invite because we show up and we
only know you. And you know, I'm not saying that buying a gift is a problem, but buying a multiple a year gift for multiple people and I don't ever see you aside from me coming to these parties. No, no. Thanks. I feel that way about weddings. I don't. Well, again, unless I'm really close with you, I don't want to go to your fucking wedding. I like. I just don't. I don't know you guys like that. I have a bunch of people here that I don't know. I'm having to sit with them.
I'm having to listen to really loud music I like. I'm barely even going to talk to you. Everybody wants to talk to you. That's why, like, we didn't, for many reasons. We didn't do a big wedding like that. That's not a vibe to me also, and this is just a personal pet peeve. I fucking hate when people send me out announcement cards, send me out announcement cards and invite cards to shit.
I genuinely am. Like you don't have my address so that you can spam me with invites to things and save the dates for everything. There are multiple people inside of my world, cousins that I haven't fucking talked to and I don't know how they probably got my address from my mom, but send me updates on their life and shit. I have an aunt who sends out emails every year about what the family has done throughout the year. I don't give a fuck. Stop.
Stop sending me your shit. One thing I do think that people need to do more of is if you are going to save the day and send a shit ton of invites, send thank you cards out then. Because if you can do all that then you need to send thank you cards. That's normally why someone's sitting at the baby shower or the wedding shower. Writing everything down is so that someone can send thank you
cards. So like my cousin had three kids back-to-back, like she had a kid and then she had twins and she would not send anything out and that just earthed me. It just earthed me If I'm driving 45 minutes to come to your fucking baby shower and bringing presents for not one baby but two babies. And you really weren't supposed to have a second baby shower. But she couldn't handle the first kid. So what was going to make her think she can handle two more and no thank you cards?
And even my grandmother mentioned that. But now she's in a much better mental place and she's doing a lot better and she's a lot more grateful now. But I just personally am irked by the fact that you had my address to invite me. But then when it came down to thanking me for the gift, crickets. Crickets. Are you ready for a human design card? Yes. All right, I pulled card 47, which is the chameleon.
This is the photo, all right. The sign is Virgo, the gift is versatility, and the shadow is bondage. At the higher frequency of this gift, your fears lose their devilish grins and you see them for what they are, symbols. Every symbol in your reality has an underlying meaning and with every meaning a message. It is your mission to decipher the writings of your walls. From here you gain access to all
of life's mysteries. You release yourself from the handcuffs and self, impose limitation, a fixed identity, a label, a career path, and an image. You are nothing and you are no thing and no one. You are everything, the sunset and the chameleon. The collective unconscious slips into each individuated experience, coloring aspects of your lifetime in such a way that reflects our greatest and deepest fears.
As unique beings within the larger whole, we each grapple with our own distinct, prominent shadows, and the more we attempt to deny or repress them, the more they loom in our peripheral. What occurs in your outer world is an extension of your inner landscape. What demons are you holding hostage? Witness them. Hold the chains and set your devils free. Making peace with your humanness, complete with its afflictions and darkness, is the
only route to salvation. Your themes are spaciousness, fluidity, dynamism, and symbols. Beautiful. Beautiful. We are so grateful for you all. Thank you for joining us at Candy Land and we will see you next time. Bye. Bye.