Yeah, he says. She's so sweet. Like a rapper. Like a lollipop. Lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop. What up, bitches? Welcome back to Candy Land. Like a lollipop with Paige and Gemini. We're having a good time, really taking the moment to reflect on our journeys and like cut back. Unnecessary noise has been so healing. I feel so much better. What about you? I feel so much better. Yeah. Everything just feels light. Everything is feeling super good.
I feel super happy in life right now and just like where things are and just I I feel like even stresses that come up the good is just outweighing the bad right now. I think at the end of the day, we're like a product of our environment. When you finally get your environment under control, then you can really do the inner work or like expand on your own journey. But if you're constantly in an environment that's creating poison in your life, you're never going to grow.
It's just like a family, a flower. You don't get mad at the flower for not growing. You just check the soil. You check the environment every. Time. Sometimes I have aggression issues and I may get mad at the flower. Yes, I mean, I think overall, like the people who have been putting in the work and doing the healing, it's a messy journey. It's not easy. And that's why most people self numb or medicate. And I've talked about that a bunch.
We've all been there at some point like blocking out our own struggles. So I'm really loving this like freedom that we both are like thriving in right now. And Speaking of people like putting in the work, I just want to shout out the girls who are taking my mediumship class right now. This is the most active interactive of any of the classes that I've ever done. I decided to pre record the videos so that nobody had to worry about being able to attend the zoom or not.
It was pre recorded and the everybody like not only are people like in the chat talking, but it's like real concrete questions that they're asking about what we're learning. And this past week we were talking about the Claire's, which I thought was super dope because then I watched the interview that you just did when you were on a podcast and you were starting to talk about your Claire's and you know, the different ways that you kind of developed that.
And I thought it was super synchronistic, just like the way that we just are parallel with different things that we talk about when we don't even realize the other one's talking about it. And you know, that does go in with putting in work and things happening at certain times. But I thought it was so cool because people who are in quote UN quote, my community space, having the mediumship class right now are hearing these words maybe for the first time.
And then they go over to your community space, they see this interview and they see you talking about it. And I just think that that like ramps up that same energy. Yeah, that's what I was like talking to my friend about how like we had discussed on the last episode, like how our duality has changed, where I've shifted more into like my dark goddess witch energy and you're like more shifting into like your butterfly. Like let me expand and grow
energy. And like it's really beautiful how our friendship like is super poetic in that way because like we just had our two year anniversary, you all of meeting in person. And for those that haven't watched the home girl episode or listened, go back and listen to home girl so you can get it like scope of where we were two years ago. But it's crazy that that's only been two years, right? It's yeah, it's I just think of like where where my life was when we went there versus like
where my life is now. And I won't lie to you, I probably wouldn't go on that trip right now with where my life is right now. I think that I think neither one of us would have. I think that we're so much more in tap and in tune with things and with comfortable with saying no. And I, I just think that it would have been, it would have been a no if if that opportunity
came up now. So it happened at the time it needed to. We learned lessons, but the versions of us that we are now, there's no fucking way we would have gone on that trip. Yeah. I mean, I look back at like 2020-2021 me and I went to Louisiana and met a girl from the Internet. I went to Arizona and met a girl from the Internet. I went to California and met a girl from the Internet and Utah. So I was out here like making friends for the first time and
feeling really inspired by that. And I do think it's really beautiful that two years ago people were trying to infiltrate our community. And then I went on to the Elite Life by Sam podcast and talked about it and like kind of aired out that weird ass energy that we were experiencing. But I know that was truly because our podcast was meant to
grow deeper roots. And without those challenges, like as a plant, you're not going to really be able to overcome if you're uprooted by every challenge, if every single time it it's windy or stormy, you're uprooted and on the ground shriveling up. Like you're not built for this.
And I think the more that you're in a public eye or the more that people learn about your journey, the more that they feel like they have a front seat to the story or that they're a part of it. But The thing is, is like everyone included, you're the main character of your story, no one else. I can't give that power to other
people. But I feel like in the past, I like was just like yearning for friendship and connection that I would literally create these relationships with people and spend hours on FaceTime or the phone. And like, that's exactly how our relationship developed. So I'm not saying it's wrong. It's just funny that when I look back, it's like, why did I feel like I needed a tour guide? Those people weren't like offering me a place to stay.
Like I got my own place to stay. Why did I feel like I needed a tour guide, you know, I mean. I used to feel that way. I think it comes from like a codependency. Like people can be codependent on friendships and like on even on strangers like to just not want to do things by yourself. Like it's one thing to do things with somebody else or with other people because you genuinely like their time and attention And it's you just love being in their energy and it makes you
happy and fulfilled. And that's one thing. But it's totally different when it's because you can't function by yourself or like and do things by yourself. And it's funny for you to, like, reflect on old versions of yourself. Or, you know, you talk about how you're in your like, dark goddess era and I'm in my like butterfly era. And I will tell you that like, I really love not having to be like such a hardened version of myself because I feel like I've been that person for so long.
But what's really annoying is that now I cry and I have never been a crier. Like I've always just been a like, this doesn't give me any emotion. I'm just really numbed out. And I feel like the more happy that I am in my life, the more that any little thing that like causes any upset, I'm like, I'm going to cry about this and have a meltdown and like I won't be able to stop it. You know, I like love crying. I have crybaby tattooed.
I love crying because I truly feel like that mental release from crying. But I've noticed lately how I have like, a cold reaction. Like no one's getting a rise out of me. Like, yeah. We're the we have swapped places bitch like. You know what, I'm over it and you know, I was talking to my friend about it and it like you're a Gemini and I'm Taurus.
But like, we were both born in May, so we're representing that duality of May. And it's really interesting because we built our bond on spiritual like topics are spiritual growth. But then we've evolved into like such a soul level bond that like a lot of people were triggered by that, you know, in the community spaces or in the past, even in person. And it's just so funny to think like I'm triggering you by having a solid friendship. Like what does that say about you all?
Like what does that say? It will never not make me laugh that literally what set that bitch off is the fact that I made your plate when I made food. And it's just hilarious because like if I've ever cooked for you, I always make your plate. Like that's just how I am as a person. Like if I if I'm making food,
I'm going to make your plate. Make sure that you're good to go. Make sure that there's enough food for me to have something because I figure I can make myself something different if there's not enough. Like I have a whole mental thing, but I like taking like I like taking care of my people. And so that for me, like that's like a sign of love and affection.
And it's not like I didn't offer for like you and Juba were just like you girls were like do it and that home girl was not having it. And it just to this day, I'm like, of all the things that like my snarky ass personality like would have caused a problem, it was that. You know, and like to add to that, I know we've touched on this before, but like home girl told Gemina we were going to wear sweatpants and hoodies the whole time.
And then like, I'm not, I'm like a sweatpants girly, but I'm definitely going to bring leggings or a sports bra or whatever to hike in. But because we had a couple crop tops and matching leggings, she was so triggered. And what was crazy is we both had me and home girl the same version of the black craft cult sweats, but mine were in pink and hers were in lime green, even though I own the lime green ones too. I'm like, why are you so
triggered? Because we're getting ready and then Juba wears makeup every day, like to work to anywhere. She puts makeup on daily. And she was getting ready in the bathroom and oh, girl was like, I'll just get ready in the microwave because. I forgot she. Was like I'll just get ready in the microwave because I'm not
high maintenance. I'm like, OK, you could have like pulled out a phone camera and turned it around and used it. I think that why don't we jump into questions because I feel like home girls had home girls had enough air time. She didn't pay. So we're gonna go off themes tonight. The first thing that we're gonna talk about is family and upbringing. We have some questions. Yeah, am I? I'll ask you first.
That's your that's your Forte. OK, how do you think that your upbringing shaped your views on success, relationships and self worth? I really feel like my upbringing was very different, like my mom was like the credit card queen, like living beyond her means, buying pools and boats and taking us on vacations and things that I truly thought that we had money, but I didn't realize that we were in debt. We didn't own anything. Our house got foreclosed on, new
cars would be repossessed. And like shout out to my mom, like she was just 20-30 years old trying to figure out her shit, going through alcohol and drug addiction herself. And you know, me going through those same cycles in my 20s, I, I see if I had a kid I'd be fucking them up too. So I don't blame her. But she wanted to portray a
lifestyle that was not real. And then my dad is very like army mentality, like get it from the mud, pay for your shit, don't live beyond your means and like really enforce those boundaries of like not living beyond his means and not like buying a bow or buying something just because you can buy it. So like she would project a lifestyle that just like wasn't reality. So my dad is very much like paid for what you have. Stop buying shit you can't
afford. And my mom was very like, we got it, we could do whatever we want. So I think that that's put me into a hyper focus on foundation and a hyper focus on paying for things so they could not be taken away. Like I'm that friend that will buy everyone's dinner just cuz I don't want to go through the hectic of like splitting the checks right now. I don't want to even deal with it. And I'm afraid of how this person might tip and embarrass me. You know what I mean?
Like I'm really, I can see where I can be controlling with finances because things that were held over my head, I bought this for you. I did this for you. And I don't do that to people. But I never want anyone to say that to me. So I would rather be the I got it friend and not worry about it rather than just accepting it. Like a girl that I know gifted me this handmade ring she made and I was like, Oh my God, I'll make a post about it.
And she was like, babe, it was a gift, you don't got to do anything for me. And I see where I can receive, but I also feel like I need to do something on the back end. So I feel like it shaped me because at sometimes I'm hyperphyxiated on foundation and then sometimes I'm hyperphyxiated on like over giving rather receiving. So here lately I've been like trying to receive more without feeling like I owe someone something because of that.
I had a friend who well, I have a friend who her love language is gift giving. And so when you go to her house, she has like totes in her garage where she literally just has things that she's bought that she like wants to like give you.
And I used to be like, Oh my God, like I used to feel so bad about it. And one day, I was talking about this recently, one day she was like, if somebody wants to give you something and that's their love language, and you don't just receive it and say thank you and you made it. You make it seem like now you're burdened to do something in return. You're actually shutting down that person from expressing their love their way. And it doesn't feel good to them.
And it feels like you're shutting them down. And I was like, oh, shit, I never. And so, yeah, being able to be like receiving of, you know, abundance, whether that be love, love or gifts or or whatever, and just being able to have gratitude with it without it makes people feel guilty for sharing sometimes. And we're like, I'm going to do this because you did this. And they're like, I didn't want anything, you know?
Yeah. And I think that when I was a kid, my mom and dad argued a lot over money. And like, I specifically remember this one time that like, they would rotate, like the tax years. So sometimes I would feel like a burden in that way, like, oh, I'm just like a tax deductible or something.
And I remember it was my dad's year and he went and filed all of his taxes and then my mom counterclaimed and went and did the wrong thing and and followed me and claimed me and it fucked my dad's taxes up. But since she had full custody of me and this was like a agreement that they came up with on their own. It wasn't in writing or anything. He was fucking pissed.
Like it was next level. And then I never heard the end of it. And like I love my dad but he's always been the I did this for you person. Not in a nasty way, but just like I paid for this or I bought you this or I got you braces or whatever. And like I had to set him down one day like in my mid 20s and be like, I don't fucking care what you did when I was 12. If you're not emotionally available to build a relationship now, then we're not going to speak.
And he's really been really grown and stop doing that now. He like just bought us $400.00 Kid Rock tickets for the end of this month. It's like 2 weeks away. Just for Valentine's Day. He said like just Valentine's Day. I don't know. Do we? Never done that. So I don't know like where the lights came on for him, but I think it's because I'm so freely giving. Like I'm a very, I like to give gifts. I'm a great gift giver. I remember the first time I sent
you a witchy box. I feel like that inspired you to start sending witchy boxes because I like curated this special box for you. And then like a year later you're doing the same thing for people. But that's like my thing. Like I got a reading from this girl in California. I really fucking like her and I sent her a big box of stuff and she like put me on her story and was like so grateful. And you know, I just think I like to exchange energy but sometimes don't know how to
receive. So I'm learning more that I just need to be open to receiving and not feel like I owe someone something. Yeah, absolutely. I, I feel like it's like such an era of like having growth too, and us like recognizing these different things and figuring out like, you know, do I need to be more receiving or be giving more? Or, you know, do I need to be more like also have more gratitude for things?
Because there's a fine line between being like, I'm going to be a receiver and I'm not going to, you know, feel like I owe you anything. And also being able to express gratitude for the things that are being done for you. Yeah, I might get a big shift. Like I've been clearing space. I'm sitting empty without feeling like I need to fill that space, and that's a bad space to be. Being able to be comfortable with just coasting a little bit.
And I think that goes in with the like you and I are being very intentional about things that we're walking away from right now and we talked about it last episode. But things that like other people see as these like monumental success things and and pivotal successes.
You and I right now are like that doesn't like that doesn't really feel like success to me. And I actually want to like figure out how to redo things like once, once you once you hit just certain pieces, those things don't really fulfill you. And to be honest, there is things that are like so distracting. Yes, I think a lot of people are distracted and that's the problem. Facts. Your question says what's 1 generational pattern in your family that you've actively
worked to break? Paying attention to the mental health of my children, I feel like because I grew up in Christian Science, they are they're not medical at all. And so they don't take you to the doctor. They don't do certain things and they, they really focus on just like praying through things. And it's always like, well, you're like this the image of God. And so, you know, like you just have to think about yourself as
like whole and complete. And if you're having these problems and it's just because you're not picturing yourself the way that God intends you to be and you need to like pray about it. And there's been a lot of mental health things in my family's, particularly on my mom's side, because I don't really know my dad's side very well. So particularly on my mom's side, like they just do not have a focus on mental health. And there's so many people on her side that have mental health things.
And it's always like those people, myself included, have just been like the black sheep and ostracized and have to figure things out on their own. And so for me, if that turns into like over my dead fucking body, am I going to just watch my kids struggle and not do you know, whatever it is that needs to be done for them? And you know, whatever, you know, mental health support that is, whether that be through medication or therapy or whatever.
That is something that might seem just like a normal thing to so many people, but for like where my family comes from is just like the thing. So down to the. I didn't talk about this before, but during Christmas I went and we visited my parents and I was gone for New Year's and my
parents were watching my son. And I'm like, you know, they know that he's on medication for ADHD and they don't like it, but they know it. And so, you know, they knew his medication schedule and everything and they just straight decided that they weren't going to give him his meds and they, they just were not going to give him his medication when they had him. And then it was like, I was being crazy for being fucking livid about it.
And, you know, and then I had to have the conversation with my mom of like, you're not the parent and your role as the grandmother is to do whatever the fuck I say to do. And that, that too is always like it. I feel like for me, it's, it's really hard for me to actually get angry about things. Like I know that like I'm assertive and I like, I speak what I'm thinking, But for me to actually be angry about something and, and like it was speak out of anger is so fucking hard to do.
And, and so to be pushed to that limit and vocalize and be fucking mad and then just have it disregarded. That was something like I like we packed up and I didn't stay with them for the rest of the trip. Like I, yeah, that for me was like, that was such a blatant disrespect that I'm like, I will have nothing to do with it. And so I will protect my kids, right? To have their mental health be taken seriously and their well-being be taken seriously in those spaces and.
Exactly, at the right time of the holidays when everyone's projecting and being fucking weird anyways, like going around family that you barely see around the holidays when the energy is so heightened in the collective with like lack mindset, scarcity, control, manipulation. You know, a lot of people stick around for their kids or do certain things for their kids, Especially with the holidays, it's even worse. And I really believe that.
Like I stay in my little bubble all year long until like I got to go around these people. So I totally get it. I would be livid. And honestly, boundaries are so important because our generation is like the one finally saying like, you won't be a part of my life if you don't do this. But like our parents generation just let shit fly. They were just like, fuck it. I'm just going to let it fly.
You know? So I feel like for once people are starting to stand up and say, you know what, like my kids needs are important. My needs are important and you can fuck off period. I don't care who you are. Facts and like, I mean, I just don't, I just don't think that parents realize that their actions have repercussions. Like now, if they, they're not really the people who like want to like have the grandkids stay over and like take care of them
themselves anyways. But having that opportunity, I feel like is such a privilege to, for somebody for me, especially with my trust issues, to trust my kid being like with you like that, like, you know, and for them to like take advantage of that. I feel like that opportunity isn't going to come for them again.
They're not, there's not going to be the option for, Hey, he's going to come and stay with you and you know, do the grandparent thing because now I can't trust you to take care of the basic requirements and expectations. And that's not something that is going to affect me. Like I have plenty of support. Like I don't need that. I'll take my kid wherever the fuck I go and pack him on my back, you know, like I think. Taking your power back from that situation and not giving it some
grand reaction. It's just like this happened. This is how I feel about it. Oh, I gave it a. Grand fucking reaction in the moment I was hurt. Well, I mean, like overall though, like you're not still feeding it power. You've taken your power back and said won't happen again. You did it. Yeah. I. Showed you what that meant and now I'm not going to give you a chance to do it again because what happens, mostly people are like, oh, I'm sorry, I'll I'll do better or whatever.
And then they jump right back into disrespect again down the road or down the line. So I really commend you because standing up to our parents is such a fucking healing experience. Like we just got to check them people sometimes because for one, they've got their own unresolved traumas, but they need to choose to grow instead of setting in those traumas. Fact. Let me ask you your question. Do you believe family is defined by blood or do you think we create our own family through
experience and connection? I don't even think blood defines family, bitch, I don't think blood defines family. There are people in my life in this bloodline that I don't love and I don't give a fuck about. I honestly would rather help a stranger than help some of these people in my quote UN quote
bloodline. So with that being said, I think that you develop connection with people through like compassion and selflessness and understanding and a lot of times family because they grew up in the same things or the same environment. They can't validate your experience because they're too trapped in their own ego and their own experiences. So I personally feel more supported by strangers and my Internet friends and people I've developed friendships with than by certain family members.
Because they're still throwing little blows. Like, how's your little business doing? How did you meet Bunny? That's so weird that you know her. Oh, because celebrities care about me and like me and are friends with me. That's so weird. Why? Because you're a nobody. Because no one cares about you. I don't know. I got to tell you something fucking weird. Something fucking weird to me.
Is that like somebody will tell somebody that I'm just meeting like, Oh well, her best friend is friends with Bunny. And so you should totally talk to Gemini and see if she can like make the connection for you to Bunny. I have been asked to give wedding invitations to Bunny. I have been asked if that it's somebody's birthday and can I please reach out to Bunny so that Bunny can cash out them.
I have had the most absurd fucking I'm going to Nashville and I would love to see Bunny while I'm in Nashville. Can you try and arrange that? I'm like, on what fucking blue planet Do you think that if I listen, if I was going to try and pull some fucking favor about but and and try and have contact with somebody, you think what I'm going to reach out to Paige about is can I give her a wedding invitation from you to give to money? I think the fuck is not.
And it instantly puts my guard up and I'm like, I'll never be your friend. I'm a business transaction. You want to see exactly what it is that you can get out of me when you ask for things like that. And I think it's so fucking tacky and weird. And never have I ever texted you and been like, hey, Bunny didn't message me back. You know, when I sent her a
message. Can you please ask her to go and check her DMS because like I sent her something and it's that fucking energy and you know what's so? Interesting about it is like I talked about this on that elite life podcast, me and you don't wait keep like that's what I love about our friendship is like even now with my readings closed, I'm like y'all should go book with Gemini.
Like if if you want a reading right now, go get one from Gemini. But whenever me and you were connecting on like the Bunny story, you never tried to use that as like a way to get close to me. You were just like I found you through Bunny and I really resonate with your story and I really like you. Hey I want to get a reading or whatever. There's never any shit and I feel like even now like I have a distant distant family member who's like a step family member.
They're not even blood. Literally told a mutual friend of ours fuck Paige. Now that she thinks she's famous she don't know nobody. That's weird because we didn't talk for a fucking 7-8 years. So now all of a sudden your favorite artist gives me VIP and I get to go, you know, side stage and backstage to his shows. You're feeling some type of way about that.
I never brag about that shit. I never glow or be like, Oh my gosh, you know, I honestly feel like because I am chill and like discreet and like reserved, so many other celebrities connect with me. You all. It's not just Bunny like there is a fucking list of them and I don't care that you all know that I don't care to post it.
I'm not one of those weird mediums that's going to be like, had a great session, Let me screen record half of it and share very vulnerable, intricate information we've done. Spell workings for celebrities together and stuff. And what we've done is posted a picture or a video of the spell working, said absolutely nothing about the client or any details. Because when you're doing things because you genuinely are wanting to do them and that's your craft and your power.
That's the purpose that you're doing. You're not doing it because you're looking for some recognition and clout off of somebody else's name. It's weird when people want clout off of our names, so why would we go and do that to than others? We have people name drop us all the time and it's like that's fucking tacky and weird and I don't like that and. I feel like over the years people like you said, we got get close to you and get close to me in hopes that that's going to
open new doors for them. You're a fucking slimy and snaky. No doors are opening for you. Like genuine people get genuine opportunities, not manipulators. Like eventually everyone comes off of their high horse and comes back down into reality and sees you for who you are, a fucking fake ass person and we work.
Really hard for everything that we have like I know that it seems like, you know, we don't have to put much effort into what we do or you know, I know you've gotten comments that like all you do is post, you know, pictures of yourself or you know, whatever. And my thing with people were always like, all she does is like make cooking, cooking
videos on TikTok and whatever. And it's like there's so much effort and time that's gone into things and building a business and a brand is not easy, let alone the fact that like a lot of people build their business and brand by exploiting themselves and like that. That's a huge thing. And I'm not knocking anybody elses hustle, but like you and I have never exploited ourselves in order to have a come up or whatever like we that that's just a line that we've never
crossed. And you know there are people who have done that and that's how they've built and amazing for them. We've made a point ourselves that that's not how we want to build. And unfortunately, being a girl and not exploiting yourself makes it a lot harder for people to want to listen to you because having people like us for our voice and our spirituality and the things that come from our brain is a lot more difficult than you know. Not that we're not pretty, but
we haven't. We haven't exploited that in order to build ourselves. But we love the people who put themselves out there in all the ways, like all fucking women. I don't care how you get it out the mud. The tides are shifting. Abundance is shifting back into the women and to the human energies. And that's because we actually give a fuck. Like so many people, no matter how they get their money, are helping people behind the scenes that you can't see.
But men in general that we see in the spotlight, like fucking Kanye West or whoever, act a fucking fool, right? Like the tides are shifting and I feel like authenticity is not for sale. You can't just go buy it. You're going to have to figure it out. You're going to have to be yourself, like just like me really airing things out on like an interview or our podcast or in general makes people see that I'm a real fucking person and I have real struggles or real things that I go through.
Not perfect. I'm not a highlight reel. I've been through some shit, some heavy shit, you know what I mean? And at the end of the day, I know that made me a better person because I actually care about people. It's when you go through shit and then you start bleeding on people that didn't cut you and blaming everyone along the way really makes me feel like fuck you dude like you know what I mean? Yeah, I I do know exactly what you mean.
And I, I really like that analogy of not bleeding on people who didn't cut you. There's also this this analogy that I heard once and it was whether it be friendships or relationships, it was you can't pour a fresh glass of milk into one that has sour milk into it and think that it's going to
taste good. And I think that like that makes so much fucking sense to me of like you working on your own shit and not thinking that your own toxicity isn't going to follow if you don't do the work and thinking that everything is going to be, you know, amazing. You have to keep working on cleaning out the things that are toxic for you. And this literally. Segues into your question. It says how? Do family dynamics shift when one person in the family starts healing and growing beyond
what's expected of them? A people think you're crazy, B people think that you think that you're too good. And C people distance themselves from you. And it feels real lonely. It feels real lonely when you realize that like, hey, I don't want to do things the way that everybody else is doing them because that that's really what it comes down to is you're no longer doing things the way that everybody else is expecting you to or thinking that you should.
And that's going to make you the black sheep or the odd man out. And, and people aren't going to understand you and it feels real fucking lonely until you find your own self-confidence from that and you figure out what to do with that individual power and where you're going to place that power. And then you feel a lot of strength.
But you know, a lot of us are taught like families, everything, it's family 1st and this and that it, it takes you moving away from that and doing your own thing and being the individual to realize back to what you had earlier about, you know, family being blood. You build your family, whether that be inside your home and you have a different partner and, and you come up with different things that family means or you have friends. It it is lonely and you have to
build a whole new family. That's what that means, yeah. And I've. Been preaching the black sheep story for fucking years. I had a memory pop up two years ago. I did a motivational speech and that was the theme. Like you're going to outgrow people and they're not going to like your growth. They're not going to support your growth. They're not going to support you till it's cool to support you. Kind of like the little backward comment. How's your little business going?
I don't know. You don't even have a job. Why are you asking me this? I have two jobs. Have a good day, live your own life. You know, so many people are caught up in what other people are doing and that is their ego because they're not doing the fucking work. Like, if you're doing the work, you're going to be so in your own zone. You're not worried about who's making a cooking TikTok or who's putting their asshole on the Internet. You're not going to be worried about it.
You're going to be over here in your own lane living your own life. And I feel like so many people have, they say they don't have enough time to change. They don't have enough time to go to the gym, they don't have enough time to do what they need to do. But they have plenty of time to get on the free apps and scroll around and talk shit about people. And that's why I feel like I have realized you can't share everything with everyone because not everyone's happy for you.
That's true. Not everybody is happy for you guys. Have you ever had to distance yourself from family members to protect your peace? And how did that affect your growth? I'm actually going. Through that right fucking now. I mean right now I just blocked an immediate family member because she gets on my last fucking nerve. She is the fakest bitch I've ever met in my life.
Just a little run back. So every year at Christmas we have some split family so we have multiple occasions and this is like the only time I see this lady and she was the one with the little business comments. So like she keeps it going. She opens the wound and tries to pour salt in it. So one of my favorite things is when her children were born she decided she didn't want them to call my grandma grandma even
though I'm 10 years old. She thought she was going to change it to Meemaw. I'm sorry, what the fuck is that What is memaw? I'm not calling anyone that. So this year at but I mean I'm 10 years old, you know what I mean like I was two if I was 2 and someone said call her that had been different. But this year at Christmas, her daughter, who likes to stir the pot just like her mom, decided to at the family dinner table, bring up the grandma versus memaw debate. It's his.
Responses. I just felt like mom was too young to be a grandma. Well, look at your brother because she'd been a grandma for 10 years. Talk to him about it. Talk to the wall about it. And then her daughter kept going. I just don't understand. And I said point blank, your mom makes everything about her. What more Do you want me to say this at the family dinner table? Then flash forward like a white elephant game and I had been wanting a scrub Daddy.
It is literally a $5 sponge. What does she do? She runs right over and steals the scrub daddy. Then a week later at the next family celebration, she buys me a Scrub Daddy Deluxe. I'm sorry, I really do love. Scrub daddies though, are you the villain? And the savior, like, do you want to be relevant? So now when I use my Scrub Daddy Deluxe I just kind of laugh because like even like ChatGPT said, this bitch is grasping at straws like there's nothing more that you care about.
You don't care about what she thinks, you don't care about what she does. You don't give a fuck about her. So she tries to ruin your experience to fix your experience. And yes, I've had to distance myself from multiple people and I promise you I don't. I don't lose any sleep. Realizing you don't love people just because you were told to love them is so free. I literally she could be the last person on earth with a car and I would walk and that's how I feel.
Boom boom, and that's on. Facts. What's my question? No more airtime. For you bitch. OK. What's 1? Lesson your family taught you that you've had to unlearn in order to expand into your highest self. I don't know if it's a lesson, but it's a but it's a, a thought process. So my parents both have always drilled in that like you have to have a very specific type of job in order to be successful.
And it gave me a lot of fear about finances and it held me back a lot from making my own money with my own businesses and being willing to. Take leaps and, and that has been something that I've had to really work through. And you know, we talk about like not having like a, a lack mindset when it comes to finance and stuff like that. And like, and having fear based mindsets.
And that is what I've really had to like work on is the fact that I, I feel like my parents have operated their life out of fear and like shared that with me. And that's something that I'm constantly working on. Like I don't get scared of very
many things. But then when I do, it's really hard for me to like break out of that because it's such an overwhelming like a feeling and emotion and money is where and, and the jobs that they think that you should have so that you can have, you know, this certain type of retirement or these, these certain things and you're not successful if you're not doing AB and C. And I'm like, you know, if you were to look at what I'm making hourly or whatever with my
business on like, and you know, on a month when I'm enrolling for classes or something like that versus like what somebody's making that's going, you know, and working just consistently the 9:00 and 5:00 after, you know, all their shit, like it's comparable. So the thought that that's the only way that you're going to be able to have success or things that you want, that's been a huge 1 and that's so.
Triggering because I also had that kind of infused into me when I was expanding into my business. My dad was very much in fear based thoughts about the situation, but now he's totally like supporting it like completely on a different wavelength now that he's retired. I went to the dentist the other day and we go to the same dentist since we like forever and he goes, man, your dad's like a different person now.
And I was like, I know, I mean seriously, but honestly, he worked his ass off from 18 to fucking, you know, now. So I love to see him expanding into his highest self. Because if you're drained and sick and tired every day working a job you hate, you're not going to be happy. You might feel secure, but you're not going to be happy. And that's what business and like being in business, being an entrepreneur has done for me is I realize I can get paid to be
myself. And a lot of people only wish they had that luxury and they're going to hate on people who have that luxury truly from a place of black like not even a place of hatred, just a place of ego because they're working a job they hate and they see you doing something you love. Just like when an artist like starts doing their thing. No one supports you. But you need to realize your target audience is not your fucking hometown. It's not people you grew up with.
You know, I saw this theme where people said their content wasn't growing so they went and like removed and blocked all the like lurkers or the monitoring spirits. And then their views went up because if Instagram shows your profile to 50 people and they scroll past it, it thinks it's not good content. So if you got 50 haters from your hometown being haters, they're blocking your success because you're trying to impress them or you're trying to post like, Oh my God, will they accept me?
And here lately, I've been on a deleting spree, like just deleting and unfollowing people. There was a photographer that I worked with years ago that I really liked working with him. But then one time I just was like, I'm gonna give you $100. He'd been doing it for free and I volunteered. Then I started giving him readings and like Reiki
sessions. Well, then it became the expectation and I get it. If that you you have new pricing and you're setting a boundary, then I may choose what to do. But asking me to shoot, collaborating with me and then expecting something is weird. So I just kind of cut it off. Well, then he was like trying to like get me to hook him up with Juba and she was like, absolutely not. She was like absolutely not, not not happening.
So I don't know, he just basically cut me and Juba off, like completely just started being weird. So I went and I unfollowed him on every platform and deleted him on Facebook because like, I don't need a monitoring spirit who's weird as fuck watching my girls from the sideline, knowing damn well I volunteered to do those things. You didn't ask me to do those things. But then it became this weird expectation or like power play. And I was like, I don't get it. I don't like it.
That's one of the reasons that I've always I've, you know, gotten questions about photo shoots and things like that. And one of the things that I always tell girls is I have never and will never shoot with a male photographer ever.
And that like that is just me. And that's because I have seen so many people have experiences like you do, because this is not the first time that you've had some, you know, photographer have some weird expectation of you want you to hook you up with their friend or, you know, wanting you to hook them up with your friend and just being fucking weird.
And I see it all the time. I think it's super predatory and I think that there may be good people in that industry, but I think that certain people take on certain jobs because they get to get others in vulnerable positions and take advantage of them. And photography is something where it makes people feel like they're going to be able to put somebody in a vulnerable position.
And not that there aren't women out there that are snakes, but the chances of you getting some woman who's doing photography with some predatory underlying energy is so fucking slim compared to men in that industry. And I just, you know, I also just think that women working with women like you're, you have such a lower chance of their like being weirdness and uncomfortability and female photographers all the fucking way.
I have noticed just from photography groups that new photographers think they're just going to jump in and like be a boudoir, like a boudoir photographer, which I think is fucking weird. I also think that with like the rise of only fans and the rise of those type of platforms, that photographers got into the business with weird intentions. But I have seen women not send photos, take deposits, not give you what you paid for over. So they're saying they're not.
Naked but like the cances of them wanting to do a boudoir shoot because they're trying to see you naked versus they're trying to do a boudoir shoot because they want to like maybe stuff their portfolio is fucking different. You know, one time I. Shot with a couple, it was like a guy and a girl and it was so cool. It was like amazing because they were married and their chemistry was great and I felt really comfortable to do boudoir with them, like body suits and stuff. And it was great.
But you know, I think overall I've like been way more selective. Like I have like a personal photographer that I really like now and he's great and his wife's great and he's just like such a great person. So I think I'm very intuitive about it. It's not just like, oh, you want to take pictures of me? Of course you do, of course you want to. I'd rather pay someone who's more legit than get free pictures from someone who's shady as fuck, you know?
And there's that period. All right, your turn to ask. All right, these are our last two questions. Yeah, yeah. All right. How do you navigate family relationships when your spiritual or personal growth no longer aligns with their beliefs? I feel like it's just detachment, like you're never going to get approval from someone who's committed to misunderstanding you. You're not going to get their approval if they're not taking
care of themselves. And I think the more unapologetic that I become, the more people realize like they need to get with the program or get the fuck away from me and I'm and that's it. So I think a lot of my family has started to get with the program and support me and my weirdness. I mean, I know it's triggering for some people that are like super like religious in my family, but they don't shame me. They don't treat me bad because I don't align with the beliefs they have.
So I think overall, like detachment from wanting their approval will will do you well, you can show up to the family function. My new thing is just going to be no response. So like when someone's talking, I'm just going to be like. Yeah, me and. Then I'm just gonna walk out, out of the room. You know what I mean? So I feel like this Christmas, I'm gonna eat some edibles before I go so I could be extra chill. Do it.
OK. What does family mean to you now compared to when you were younger? And how is that definition evolved through your personal journey? Oh, shit. Family to me used to be people who were going to just say yes and validate the things that I wanted.
And so whether that be, you know, family that I was still going to be talking with or new family that I was making, I was only surrounding myself with quote UN quote, family that was going to be the yes man for me. And like everything that I was doing and for me now, the people who I consider to be family inside of my life are the people who are going to, yeah, support and what I'm doing, but are going to be able to tell me like honest, real truths about things.
Because those people are the people who are wanting me to be the best version of myself. And to be whether that be the parent or the business owner or just me in general, who are going to be able to have outside perspectives without judgement of me. But by wanting to see me succeed in things, that's family for me now. And I think that people that just make you feel comfortable to be yourself, exactly what you're saying.
Like people who are just, they celebrate me because they like me. They don't point out things that trigger me or bring up past versions of me that have expired. And supposedly, I guess they're living rent free in their head. You know, as you grow and evolve, you're triggering people naturally that are staying the same. You're becoming a mirror for all of their own insecurities and their own fears. So you know, like I said earlier, block, delete, and repeat. Baby, you don't need to prove
nothing to these people. Truly. If you don't love them, you shouldn't act like you do. You know, you don't have to love people just because someone magically put them in your bloodline. Because I believe the way souls are set up that you can evolve into family bloodlines that have nothing to do with your actual blueprint. But you're here to be the cycle breaker. You're here to be the black sheep. You're here to stand out and trigger these people because if you don't, they say the same,
their soul stays the same. If they never see someone up close to them break free of the chains of this place, then everyone stays the same. So I really believe that in different sectors of your life you may evolve to connect with people, that you are a leader. And that's what's triggering them is they can tell there's something different about you. They can tell there's something inspiring about you, but rather than being inspired, they just want to compete and they can get
fucked. Yeah, I I think that's weird. I think that it's weird also for people to be intimidated because you are being successful inside of something. And I, I've experienced that too with people that I considered to be family because they were really good friends, where it's like, yeah, I'm going to support you until you're you're doing too well or whatever. And then I'm not going to support you anymore. And I'm actually going to tell you that like, I think you're not shit.
And I think that's where I lost a lot of people inside of my life. And I'm OK with it now. But like, that's really hurtful when that happens, especially if you're like, I'm just trying to do like whatever my highest sense of right. And like what my soul, you know, is, is wanting to do in the way that I want to express myself and to have people who support you, but they only support you
so far. And if you do it this specific way, or if you're this version of yourself and to our point too of like, well, if you don't love people and accept them as they are, then you shouldn't be having them in your, you know, your life. I think that that should go for
everybody. If you're not going to love and accept the people that you're around, your friends, whatever for the version of them that they are, and help boost it and make it the best, then you should really just see yourself out because you're doing a disservice by holding somebody back from their truest potential as your friend.
Yeah, I think. The moment I stopped caring whether people are supporting me or not and just started loving my life and loving myself, it was like you know what fuck you you're no one to me. Like you are a literal Karen or a stranger who I just don't care what you think. And as a kid I'd grasp for straws. I wanted these people to accept me like why are they? Why don't they like me? Why are they always judging me?
But now I'm like, get some popcorn, baby, and take a seat because you're absolutely irrelevant and I'm on the stage and that's why you're still talking about me.
So with that note, we're so grateful for the people who see us, the people who fucking support us without any unnecessary drama or, you know, needs or false motives or whatever it may be. It just feels really nice to have a space to like, go to therapy, talk to our spirit guides, and then come to the podcast and fucking heal all in real time because life is very magical when you are in alignment with your higher self. Everyone else who is not reflecting that back to you is a distraction.
They are limiting your story and maybe you are better than them. Maybe that's why they think that because you are baby. So we'll see you next time in Candyland. Bye, guys. Bye. Uh huh. Yeah, you said She's so sweet, man. Come on. Over the rapper live. Me like a lollipop. Lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop. You want to swallow my spirit and penetrate my aura? Taste. All of my consciousness is obvious. We're goddesses full of the divine femininity.