Welcome to Fucking Candy Land, hosted by Rampage and Gemini. Welcome back to Candy Land. It is Scorpio season and I am in rare form right now. Jim and I How are you feeling? Well, I'm a Scorpio Rising, so I'm thriving right now. I'm really doing all of the things and preparing for a two week rest period because you keep on telling me you need to be resting and so that's what the fuck I'm going to do.
So me being who I am, I'm going to work really fucking hard before I take my two week rest period so that I don't feel guilty about resting. That's exactly what I did, though like I wanted to take at least a week and a half to two weeks off from readings. I had a couple people reschedule and I knew I would have a couple spells to do. But I'm really seeing like the silver lining in where I'm at now because the old me would have loved the fact that I'm
like sold out. People are waiting in line to get on the Patreon tears, or people are waiting for a reading for weeks and the new me is like, yeah, y'all can keep waiting because I need to rest. Like I need to chill but the old me would have like. Overextended And people please. And I feel like that's where you're at. You're still in between like the people pleasing and wanting to help people more than we help ourselves.
And that is something that's so vital in a spiritual profession is like you can't pour from an empty cup. And even though there's people who need you and want your energy, you have to reserve that for yourself and your family. Well, in something I was just talking about on TikTok, I just made a video talking about how as healers, we do all of the things to take care of ourselves spiritually. And we're like, oh, look, I need to cleanse. I need to get rid of this energy.
I need to do, you know, my meditation and whatever. But that doesn't mean that we're taking care of ourselves physically, too. And so if you're physically running on burnout, but you're spiritually taking care of yourself, you're still burning yourself out. You're like, for me, I know that when I'm checking in, I'm not taking care of my body because I'm go, go, go.
I'm doing all of the things. And if I have downtime, I'm like, I got to meditate, I got to go and you know, do ABC and D and I really need to be getting myself back on track. And I talked to you about it like, you know, I was doing so good on my, like health journey with my physical body for a long time. And then I wasn't able to see that physically the way that I wanted. And now I look back and I'm like, wow, I was looking really good and I was feeling really good.
And you can tell I was really taking care of myself. And maybe I'm not like I wasn't the dream size that I wanted to be, but I had so much energy. I felt so good and I want to take the time to get back there. Honestly, it's such a wave because. In each season, you know
something is being highlighted. And right now in fall, it's like about letting go, letting go of your need to control something, or letting go of your attachment to an outcome or to an income or to some type of magical place that you think you're going. And then in the winter, it's a reflection period, like how can I recalibrate my system so that in the spring I can spring into action? I will have the motivation, I'll
have the. Plan. I'll have worked out, you know, those limiting beliefs and be able to move forward. And I noticed that, like in the spring, I get so much done coming out of winter, where I feel like winter is such a drag. Like winter is literally the longest season, even though they're all very equal. And like, I don't know if it's the darkness, I don't know if it's the cold, because I personally like cold. I'm not sure what it is, but there's something about winter.
That I am just so ready to go when spring hits. But I think at this time, for all of us, we need to be focused on what we're letting go of. And personally for you, you need to let go of all the expectations that you put on yourself. Like if you're not pumping out content, you don't feel like you're doing enough. And I'll just be honest for everyone listening if y'all want
daily, weekly. Every two seconds content, you better join her Patreon and steer clear of mine because mine is more of like community support and like some like tools and resources. But I am not teaching you all a segment on everything every day. Like this woman thinks that she's not teaching a four chapter segment on. I don't even know occult history or whatever. Then she's not doing enough. And I'm like, you're the only person who is setting these expectations.
Like, for me, baby, here's some keywords. Now go look them up. Get a book like, I'm not your daily newscaster. I'm going to tell you all everything you need to know. But she's like, no, if I don't tell them all about this and all about that and I don't let them know, then they won't support me. And I'm like, yes, they will. So I'm working really hard on that that that's something that I really want to work on with the break is I do have these expectations.
And I also think that in some ways, I think that the way that I think about content on Patreon specifically is almost like a trauma response to things that we went through earlier in the year. Because I was really like in my element, thriving, pouring out content.
Like, I've never been a I don't put content out person ever since I started Patreon because I take it really seriously that, like, people are putting their money into something every month to like, get something from me. I feel like and I felt like, wow, like I'm doing so much. I'm doing all of these things.
And then to have people inside of our communities come back and be like, you're not doing enough or you're not giving enough or I felt like I was being taken advantage of because I was paying or whatever I've been having to really, like, retrain myself from. And my thinking from that
situation. Because even though I knew that wasn't true, even though I'm having all of these conversations with people who were putting more in than those people were, I still was like, like, that hits like your soul center where you're like, like that's something that, like, I'm so passionate about doing and I put so much time and energy into, and then to be told that it was just difficult. Yeah. I mean, at the same time, we have to remember, though, that we're setting the rules.
And if you're abiding by these imaginary roles that are making you drained and overextend yourself, then like, you're not helping anyone if you're draining yourself to do that, you know? And that's where, like, I think I'm creating a really healthy work life. Balance because I don't want spirituality to feel like a job. I've never made it about money. I did free readings for an entire year where I did over 300 readings that year.
Like when I look back at it, that's like 150 hours of my time that I dedicated to something that did not make me a dollar, but at the same time, like I would do that again if spirit was like. Everything's taken care of. You don't ever have to worry about taxes or bills or gas or cars or anything ever again in your life if you just do this.
I would just do that. Like I would not have a problem with going back to like, the trade and barter system because like, I'm passionate about it. But also it is a trauma response to think that we need to turn our gifts into a job. And I tell clients this all the time. Find a hobby. Yes, hobbies make people money, but that does not need to be your original goal. Say you just enjoy painting, or you enjoy making candles, or you enjoy creating something, content, or whatever.
Don't do that. From the aspect of I'm going to turn this into my job, I'm going to turn this into a full time thing. I'm going to do this 24/7. A lot of which we limit ourselves by doing that because then we put a damper on our creativity because it's like, no, I need to give the people what they want or I need to align with this certain type of energy in order to be, you know, received well or supported. And I think that so many people
go from making art. To making content because they think that's what they need to make. Like my big thing is like I make art and y'all make content. Whenever I am elevated in an elevated state I'm channeling for spirit and I'm creating from the heart space. When we get into this as a job or I've got to please people or they're paying money, then it turns into like I'm making content to please you rather than I'm making art to channel.
So I get what you're saying, but also I don't want it to seem like the reason that I do what I'm doing is because I feel like that's something that like I have to be doing because of like the monetary whatever to it. Because at the end of the day, like that's not my motivation behind what I'm doing.
I was already doing those things before I decided to go on to Patreon. I just feel like sometimes that balance is difficult to find where like where is like my satisfaction level and things like where. And that's a personal thing that doesn't have anything to do with people around me is like how much effort do I have to put into something for me to feel like that's enough.
And I am like that with so many things in life, not just when it comes to business, Like my house can be clean, I can have the house cleaner come in and whatever and I'll still be like, oh, there's this thing over here that like wasn't done that I need to go and do real quick to like reach my satisfaction level. And I am always in the mindset of it could be better and that is like a how I was raised type of thing where in and there's a there's always a balance to
that, right? Like it's really awesome to always be pushed and be like OK, you accomplished that goal now what's next but not being taught the resting part of it And so it's almost like incorporated in like my DNA of who I am as a human of like we accomplished that goal. What's next? And I have to work on understanding that something has been accomplished and now I can rest in between. And that doesn't mean that my resting is thinking about what the next task is going to be.
Well, I think it's a human instinct to like, always have goals and like we're very much brainwashed here in society in general, to constantly be chasing something outside of ourselves. And that's why I like, I don't ever want spirituality to feel like a job that I have, to overextend myself to bring in some type of satisfaction in the material world, if that makes sense. And I'm not saying that's why we don't do it full time.
You know what I mean? Like, that's why we're both like, we need to have outside sources of like, income and things that we're putting our energy into. Because yeah, I learned that lesson this year of like, it seems all cool and dandy to like, do that all the time because you love it. But then you end up being like, well, then you think about the money aspect of it.
And I even think about some people that you and I are mutuals with that I look at them and their posts are salesy and they're trying to sell you their cell work and they're trying to all of their content is about why you should book with them and what you should be doing. And and you know, sure, you're running a business, so here and there you're going to be shouting yourself out and doing stuff like that and having
sales. But if your entire everything is, I'm so stressed out, you know, you talk to somebody and they're like, I'm so stressed out because I need to sell more spells so that I can pay rent. I don't want to be in that mindset. And I've seen practitioners like starting random gofundmes and random things and my problem with that is it be the same practitioners. Yeah, they'll be like, I don't have health insurance. It lapsed. I need $1500 to pay this and
that. Like, I've seen that from people that that I know in a way. But The thing is for me, in that sense is like these same people get lip injections or they go on vacations or they live in really expensive cities like Los Angeles and Miami or wherever it's like. Girl, go get you a small town cottage where rent is like $800 and stop begging for people on the Internet to pay your bills.
And it also be the same people that are like, I'm so successful, I wrote this book, look at everything that I've done, but they go in in waves and like you said, it does turn to be kind of scammy or be kind of salesy. And I don't like anyone who's trying to upsell me when I'm already booking with you. Like I will let people know when they say how can I work with you more?
OK, I'm mentor on Patreon. I have these offerings on Patreon, but I don't ever be like, no, you need to sign up for Patreon. Like no, that's what you need. If someone asks me what I think they should do, I will be like, you know, these spots are sold out, but you know, maybe keep your eye on them in the future. I've had people ask me if I would open up more spots. For them.
And at that time I wasn't really wanting to, but you know, it'd be those people that reach out, that really have interest that end up sometimes not doing any of what you've recommended. And so I just kind of like my website is pretty self-explanatory. If you click on the service, it's going to tell you what it entails. Same thing with Patreon. There's different levels and they all tell you what they entail. But I don't feel like I need to. Sell that to them.
Like it's going to be a personal choice. If they want to invest fifty, 100 or whatever they want to invest each month and I try not to base my productivity on that. It's just kind of like they will or they won't. I'm not going to take it personal either way. It's kind of like with hair stylist.
I've been seeing a lot about people know showing their hair stylist or older women who used to get highlights and things just going Gray because of. The rising of cost and I understand like people need to make a living, but a lot of hairstylist come at it from a wrong perspective. In my perspective, like I used to have a regular hairstylist whenever I would do my hair white and like really blonde.
So, you know, he made a significant amount of money off me. Well, four years ago when I said I wanted to go natural, he was very nice about, like weaving in the low lights and the highlights so that when it grew out, you wouldn't be able to tell that I wasn't getting my hair done. Really appreciated that because I haven't had to put any color on my hair in four years. But when I reached back out to him about a year ago about just getting a trim and a style, he left me on red.
And I'm like, it'd be the same people to saying that they can't get clients or that people know show them or people are going back natural, so they're not getting those colors and cuts. But I reach out to you for a service and you leave me on red because it's not at the caliber of what I used to pay you $250 or whatever. And so it really kind of irked me a little bit because I was like, let's be the same person that talks about people know showing.
And I've never known show like if I. If he would have told me a haircut is $65, I would have paid it. You know what I mean? So it's like for him to just leave me on red and not even acknowledge that I was trying to make an appointment with him. Kind of pissed me off and made it where I won't go back to him for any service, even if I started getting my hair done again. See, I have been frustrated with my hair because I I have a hair stylist.
And I had talked to her before about like doing color and doing whatever. And I told her all of the things that I've never had a color with her. I've only had cut. But I had talked to her about color and I had told her, you know, I'm going to be growing out my hair. I don't want to have these colors anymore. I want to go to this. I texted her with pictures, exactly what I'm looking for, whatever. And she's like, Oh, yeah, so then, you know, I, I'm asking for price points.
And it's, oh, it can be anywhere from here to here. Well, what is that? Like, what do you mean it can be like that's, you know, a $500 difference. Like, what are you possibly going to do that's going to be, you know, possibly $500 more? Because how do I budget for that? Right. And so then when I went and I finally booked the service, she was like, and I booked it the way she said.
She's like, Oh well, when you went and booked it, you know, we should make it 2 full days and whatever, because, you know, I need a whole day to take the color out and then I need a whole day to put new color in. What the fuck do you mean? Like, that's not what we even talked about.
So is that why it's like a 500? I get very frustrated with the hair stylist thing, which is why I've always just colored my own hair and I hate videos on social media of hair stylist being like don't use at home color and don't do this and don't do that. You need to go to a professional. Will you want to charge somebody, you know $1000 to do their hair and cool those are your prices. But not everybody can afford to be doing that so why go on
social media and shame people? I don't go like all of you need fucking healing out here. Shame on you for not booking tarot readings because y'all are fucked, you know? Yeah, I mean a lot of it's fear based. A lot of it's like, oh, your hair's gonna fall out, or it's breakage or this. But I think a lot of people go about it the wrong way when it's their full time gig.
And whether you know, and I understand, people want to make a full time out of their dream, but that's why people are not attracted to you as a practitioner or a stylist or as a person. Because you're giving off these off putting vibes that are like, I want your money. You're a number to me. You know, you booking with me is filling a spot that's going to pay my bills. I deserve to eat too. And all this stuff. OK, great. That's awesome. And I'm all about paying for services.
Like I got my nails done last night, took her three hours. They literally look phenomenal. And basically her underneath. She didn't have to do that. That means she had to layer with glitter first and then paint it over it. But she did that because I'm willing to pay for that. But once again, when your nails are 100 plus dollars, a lot of people aren't willing to pay that, you know? And she says like I'm one of her crazier clients that likes
diamonds and charms. She bought a whole box of Halloween charms that only me and juber have used Cuba, because she knew I wanted those. And I and I was like, well, I feel like I have to get a charm on there this time, 'cause you bought those for me. And they're seasonal. And you know, she's willing to invest because she knows I'm willing to pay for her time. You know that whole box of charms is probably 15 bucks, right? Like she's gonna make her money back off of me using them.
But The thing is is like I would never. Go to her chair and be like, well, my budget's $50.00, but I want all of this stuff. Like if it take you an hour to saw my nails off and give me a fresh set, I'm going to pay you to saw my nails off. And you know, and my nails looked super perfect underneath. Like, she educates her clients on the difference between chop shops and like her product.
And I am more than happy to pay double what I would pay at a chop shop because they're going to last because I can get three weeks out of them, you know, that kind of thing. So I do understand that, like skill and time and things like that are worth accounting for. I saw something once and it said you're not paying me for the hours. You're paying me for the years it took to learn this skill. Absolutely. And I support that.
Like if someone can come clean my house in an hour and a half versus someone else doing it for three hours, they should get paid the same as the person with three hours. If you can do it just as good in an hour and a half. But it's when you can't, it's when you oversell yourself. It's when you talk a big game and you can't deliver that. I'm like, no, I'm not paying that, but I am more than happy to pay people for their time that they've acquired, learning
that skill. But a lot of people see it as well. They will do it for $20.00 an hour. Why won't you? The skill's different. Yeah, I also think too, you know, we we always talk about balance and that always seems to be a theme. And I think that there's a balance between, you know, being somebody who does spiritual work and being like I have these service that I can offer.
So like for instance, if I'm doing a reading for somebody and they are, you know, have a lot of things coming up about educating themselves or elevating in these ways, or they have their own gifts or whatever it were they're talking about it. Then I'll be like, Oh well, you know, Ioffer these other things if there's anything that you're needing. These are things that I provide for a reason. I, you know, I do these classes, I have, you know, this Patreon if you're looking to just get a
little bit more information. And I think it's important for people to have that balance of shouting themselves out or saying what they offer. And then also don't be fucking salesy about it and scammy about it. I'm not going to text you and be like so did you put more? Got into the Patreon thing. Are you going to join? I didn't see your sign up. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that's The thing is, like, I understand offering a subscription service.
It's just like Netflix. It's just like, you know, faster Internet or whatever. When things get tight, the first thing to go is luxury services, whether that's your hair, your nails, you know, whatever. And I know there's always this big debate of like, oh, they're paying with a food stamp card, but have XXL nails and their hair done. Well, I mean, I can like see the fence of that of like, OK, you're getting government assistance because you say you
can't afford certain things. But once again, these kids would starve because this person's still going to get their nails done whether you give them the food stamps or not. This person's still going to get their nails done and that's just going to be less for their child. So when I look at things like that, it's not necessarily for the parent, it's more for the child. And I do think that, and there should be some type of balance
with that. But I try not to judge people for what they spend their luxury money on, whether that's having 5 streaming services and the newest iPhone or whether that's buying your two year old Jordans or whatever it is like. Try not to judge people's vices and like what they spend their money on. Because I've been judged of like, well, you always have your nails done. You can't be that broke even when I was broke. But getting my nails done made me feel good, made me feel
pretty, made me feel excited. And I'm not going to suffer just because my bank account isn't where it should be, you know, Like I'm still going to spend money on a luxury service somewhere in that line. And it's funny because when I was at my brokest or my lowest points is when I spent the most money on luxury services, period. Whether that was hair, nails, things like that.
So I just try not to judge people on what they're portraying on the outside because you don't know what that battle that that person's dealing with. But I don't feel like making someone feel like a number or like a burden because the number isn't high enough. Oh, I need $500.00 for that. And then if you're not going to give that to me, then screw you, You know, I don't like that. It's like with anything, candles, you know, steak, whatever. It's all luxury services.
Like if you invest into things that make you feel good, it is a luxury, whether that is nice sheets and nice clothes or shoes or whatever. Like cheap shoes and expensive shoes have a different feel, like one might give you a blister and the other one won't. Like there's just balance with everything. And I feel like in the spiritual arena a lot of people don't realize that it is a luxury service even though people need it.
So I never want to treat people like, oh, you can't subscribe this month, don't text me or, oh, you can't do this, don't text me. You know, I had a client reach out yesterday and they were like, Can you believe it's been nine months? I don't save everyone's number. So I didn't know who it was. But they were like, do you think you could help my wife with these specific bullet points? And I said, yeah, you know what? That's one of my more expensive sessions. It's an hour and a half.
It's, you know, the most in depth session that ioffer within 10 minutes. He booked it for his wife. That's a $200.00 plus session. You know, like people invest in what they want to invest in. He's saw what, nine months ago, that reading done for him and how much he's elevated since then. He knows that you can't put a price on that. He didn't even ask. He didn't even go in to owe, you know, that's out of budget.
He said. I'm going to book hers this week, and next week I'm going to book me another one. Yeah, people pay for what they want to pay for when it's quality, and your quality should speak for itself and your quality should be the selling point, not book with me because that's what you need to do, you know?
The moment that people realize that people will pay whatever your price is, if you're good, is the moment people will stop trying to sell themselves to every single person they look at. Oh yeah, and not everybody is also like we talk about niche markets and things. Not everybody is your niche market and your personality and your business like and that people please think people try to sell themselves just every fucking day. Outside of business, you try and convince people to like you.
You try and more of your personality to fit inside of social circles. And a majority of the time, once you look under the veil, the people that you're trying to impress are not impressworthy. And The thing is, is, like with a niche market, especially things like luxury services, you have to just keep your head down and keep focused until people
start paying attention. And I know that this is something we've talked about a bunch, But Bunny with her podcast, Dumb Blonde. It wasn't doing what she thought it could do in the first two to three years. And she almost gave up. She almost was like, you know what, I'm going to throw in the towel on this. Then the pandemic hit and guess what? The only thing there was to do was podcast and listen to content to feel like you were included or being sociable.
I met Bunny during the pandemic, and I remember going to her studio thinking, like, what's this going to be like? And I walk in, there's no one's got a mask on. And she just hugs me like the first time she ever met me, she just gave me a hug in the middle of the pandemic. Knowing that I've heard her say, like she's a germaphobe and things like that. She's like, come on in, whatever. The thing though about that is like a lot of people give up on their dreams when they're on the
uphill, you know, stretch. And of course, when you're going uphill, you're going to feel out of breath, you're going to feel drained, you're going to feel tired, You're going to feel like, is this even worth it? But when you're coming downhill and you're going back down from those hurdles, it's much easier to get back down the hill than it was to get up it. And I've just noticed how country I sound when I say.
That like I also think too like from a business aspect if you are putting in. Because there's a difference between like you're doing all of the things that need to be done and you just need to have consistency, and then what things are you just doing on repeat and burning yourself out on. But you're not actually doing anything that's going to move you or have longevity like there is a time for you to be. Analyzing what you're doing and be like, Do I need to switch this up?
Do I need to mark it differently? Do I need to do ABC and D? Or am I doing all of the things that I need to be doing and it just says that I need to have consistency because there are a lot of people who will put in? Who will put in like consistent effort with things for years? But you're not necessarily putting effort into the things that need to be putting, that you need to be putting effort
into. And so then you can feel like you're spinning your wheels and you're not getting anywhere. So I think that. Talking about again that balance and that like reflection is really important. And not just doing things yourself, but having people around you, Finding people around you that you can trust to give you business advice, to give you their perspective on things you know there are I'm fortunate to have.
You and other people in my, in my space and in my circle where I can be like I'm doing these things. What do you think? Or I'm thinking about, you know, switching it up in this way. From an outside perspective,
what's your opinion? The thing about that is a lot of people will give you very bad advice because they're not on the path that you're on. And that's what I love about our connection is when you came to me, you were at like a turning point in your life and you went and did your own thing for like a year before coming back to me and kind of like giving me opportunities to like, come on to your podcast and work with you on like our own personal time.
But it was never like, I'm going to target Paige. She's going to become my friend and she's going to help me. You know, Like, I never felt that from you. But there are people who have tried to target me in the past because I am so giving and I am so nice. Genuinely care about people. They try to use that for their benefit and then try to lead with this. Like snaky. I'm going to take Paige's clients or I'm going to poach clients from her.
And The thing is, no one gives a fuck what you're doing. You're trying to shove it down people's throats. And I will say it again and again and again. When you are genuine and you're doing it for the right reasons, the universe will align you with people, places and things that support that. And with Gemini, she came in at a really perfect time for us to build a connection that I didn't even realize would turn into a podcast or turn into these
things. But the cool thing about it is Jim and I had done the homework on the podcast and it all worked out because she could do that very easily. And naturally you all, because she had already went up the hill on her own. She didn't need someone to hold her hand up there. She had was already up there. And instead of me trying to pull myself up there and think that I could do it all on my own, I was, you know, honest and vulnerable. Like, hey, we should do this.
At the same time. There were three other people in her ear wanting to start a podcast because they saw it as a crutch, though they saw it as she's doing all the work, let me benefit from that. But instead I was doing a lot of public speaking. I was doing a lot of, you know, talking and and doing content on my feelings and thoughts. And people would say, this helps me. And I never knew that I could ground that into a podcast until I started doing interviews on other people's podcasts.
Like, I remember not only like Bunnies being the first podcast I was on, which is so iconic. There was like several other podcasts that I went on after that that weren't as big, weren't as exciting, but I still felt just as excited. Like, even though they may only have 1000 followers, I still felt just as excited to go on to their platform as I felt going on to bunnies. And that's my energy, the genuine energy that speaks for itself.
And that's what we want you all to understand is like when you're doing things from the heart space and not your ego, it's going to work itself out. Whether it takes a year or five years, you're going to get there because the universe responds to your energy and your authenticity. Yeah, no, I mean, for our connection, I remember reaching
out to you to be on the podcast. And I had had my list of, like, you know, when I, when I get the podcast going, you know, I want to have, you know, ABC and D on the podcast and your name was at the top of the list. And I remember reaching out and feeling like you've done Bunny Bunny's podcast and you've done these other podcasts. And so maybe you would say no. And then you came on. We had such a good connection with that. And then we didn't.
It's not like we were best friends from that moment. Like we didn't talk for a little bit. We did our own things. And then I remember you texted me. And I was like, wait, she's texting me right now? And then all of a sudden we started texting and I was like, oh, my goodness, like, we're going to be friends. And then, you know, you asked about the podcast. And the way that the podcast unfolded was just so natural, because all of the things that
you're. Really good at are the things that I have to put a lot of time and attention into doing at the time. And you know then the technical side of things is what like is easier for me and the things that you didn't know how to do yet And it yeah, it was just a perfect balance and it is really difficult. I feel like I'm trying to get better about this and you and I talk about this behind the scenes, but.
And it's really difficult when we're people who see other people's potential in things and feel like, you know, I I guess for me, I'll speak for myself. I've had these moments of like, I just wish that I had been given a chance or that somebody had shown me how to do something or kind of like taken me under their wing to show me things. Because it would have been such an easier learning process for me and I would have done so much more with that information and so.
In the past when I and I guess in the IT hasn't been very far in the past I have seen potential in other people and I've listened to the words that they're speaking and the lip service that they give sounds so good and I'm like yeah you just need somebody to support you and help you and give you guidance
and things. Sure, I'll do a project with you, or sure, I'll help you with this, these things and it always turns around to bite me in the ass and So what I'm learning is to. Watch what other people are already the energy that they're already putting into things instead of being like, oh, you're at a Ground Zero and you want me to build you up in all of these ways. I don't need to be a savior. You're not a victim. I don't need to step in and help you with all of these things.
You naturally need to learn how to do these things. You can fucking Google, you can do all of this. And if you're at a space, where? Now it would make sense to do something that makes sense, but I'm also like, no new friends around here. Like, I'm not looking for new partnerships with shit. And you know what's funny is that this outside persona that people have of us is. Is so different than like how we actually are.
Like, you know, we get, you know, told about like things are just like monetarily based or whatever. But behind the scenes we literally have projects that are going to be, you know, being announced where we're making zero finance or anything from it. And we're just shouting out our friends or we're just supporting our friends businesses or, you know, collaborating in these ways that just boost them because you know.
We love them and we're not even getting anything monetarily out of it. You know, just like with our classes, I know that we like give people spots for those. Like I've given away in the two rounds of my Tarot and Oracle spiritual class. Like I've given away like 8 spots to random people that support me. There's one girl won't name drop, but she comments on literally anything and everything I post. I don't care if it pertains to her. I don't care if it's a twin flame reading.
I don't care. Whatever I say, this woman post on it and I just randomly messaged her. She's never booked a service with me. I do not know her on a personal level. And I just wrote her and said I would really like to have you in the class. And at first you could tell that it was difficult for her to receive because she was like, what do you mean? And you know all these things when I was like, look, you don't have to be live. It'll be on a Google Drive. You can watch it when you want.
You can wait till it's over and then start watching it like whatever you want. And she has wrote me so many times to thank me. Like it's been like every week she's like, thank you so much. She replies to everything on the podcast page. Like she takes time out of her day to support other people. I see her, she comments on Bunny stuff. I mean, she just comments on a lot of stuff. But the fact that she had really been supporting me without ever really interacting with me
one-on-one was really beautiful. And then, you know, there's people that live in my city that like, I've never really been around, but they also share everything I post. I see them commenting on your stuff. You know, it's really nice to see that these people have had like a flash reading or just a small e-mail reading and they believe in me so much that they're willing to share everything I do to their personal page.
I don't even have family that do that, you know, So I have given away so many contrary cherry scholarships for this class that's like $1000 or more than I'm giving away every semester. And I have no like remorse about that because if that helps someone, I mean, there's been plenty of people that like I've given a scholarship to and they've changed their whole schedule around so that they can be live.
And for those that don't know if you're in one round, I let you join the second round for $22.00. So now the second round is going and some of the people that signed back up, you know, they're not watching it live because they watched it live last time. And I think it's really cool because as I'm evolving, the information is going to evolve and what you're getting is evolving. And it's just really nice to see people who really, genuinely have that support and really
want to support someone. But you can tell when people are doing it in a snaky way. Like, I really think that was our lesson this year was like, how to identify, you know, the snake in sheep's clothing. Like, okay, you are extra. You are acting like we've hung the sun, moon, and stars. And I don't want people idolizing me.
Like, I don't want people putting me on some pedestal because later your ego is pissed that you've put me on this pedestal and you still feel beneath me and I don't want anyone to feel beneath me. I give everyone the information that I've used, whether it's like, oh I went to night light astrology school, go take the class or oh, I I studied under
this person. But it's funny to me when people who say they don't like me go and take classes with my mentor or go and try to train under me in classes and programs that I've done. You're not competing with anyone but your old self. So quit acting like you're racing me on some imaginary race that I'm not fucking racing you. Like I'm the judge at this point. Like I'm not even in the race anymore. Like I've gotten to where I want to be and I'm comfortable in my
own power. I'm comfortable sharing my gifts with others. But it's just amazing how every time I level up, someone comes out of the woodwork acting like. I'm something that I'm not. And I think that, you know, I've learned a lot from you in this perspective because people do that to you a lot. Like they villainize you and then they try to like project that like Gemini's making Paige mean or Gemini is doing this and all this.
But it's like, no. Gemini just brings awareness to things that maybe I was overlooking before and I'm no longer tolerating it. Yeah. And you're starting to do that with me, too. Like, I think that we're we're really hitting that, like comfortable sweet spot in our friendship where, you know, before you would be like, yeah, I, you know, something would unfold and you'd be like, yeah, I actually like, I didn't like their energy with you. I didn't like that idea.
But I didn't want to get in the middle of what you were doing. I didn't feel like it was my business. And now we're at the point where it's really like, OK, well, I don't really know if you should be doing that, 'cause this gives me some weird vibes or whatever. And. It does take a little bit of time to like for a lot of people to be able to form that kind of like trust with each other.
Where I know that I'm going to be able to be honest with you and tell you that this is weird and you not get upset about it. And I know that when we look back on situations and things, I can see people that were around you that I didn't like. And that I, and not that I didn't like them, but I was just like, that's super weird. Like, I don't know, there's something wrong with their face and their energy and, you know, but I'm not going to say anything because this seems to
be her really good friend. Well, in the long run of things, they were fucking with you behind the scenes and everything that intuitively was there was making sense. And just because you didn't feel it and see it in the moment and you? Believed the projections that they had. I'm understanding now that even though we know our intuition, we know to trust our intuition.
We can sometimes convince ourselves that we're wrong about it. And that maybe like we're being in our ego about something or you know ABC and D and at the end of the day we are actually accurate in our assessment of people and something that I've really been. I feel like I'm I'm. Mastering more is not having an expectation of how people are going to treat or perceive me because I've done nice things for them, and not feeling jaded because they didn't appreciate something that I did.
It doesn't make it any less valuable. So like I've had, you know? Some of the people who you're saying has been like, you know that I mean, or I'm changing you or I'm doing ABC and D or whatever, are people that I've given free things to, I've given free mentorship to. I've given them free spots in my classes. And it, you know, before would really hurt my feelings because I'd be like, wow, I did all of these nice things for this person and this is how they're going to fucking treat me.
And I would feel jaded about it. And now I'm like, that's a reflection on who those people are. It doesn't have anything to do. There's nothing I could have done differently. It's not a personal attack.
It's that that's where they are on their fucking journey and they're going to shit on everybody because they shit on themselves, you know, That goes back to, I've said this before, like, we open our communities up and like bonded them together and then we're like, OK, Mommy's going to work now, play nice and shut the door. And these people, like, we're giving you free reign to connect with others, to connect with
people. And I've had one of my guy friends, he said when I first joined your Discord and your Patreon, I thought to myself, wow, there's so many women in here supporting each other and getting along. And he said in the back of my head, I didn't want to like speak that into existence. But I thought to myself, how long is that going to last? Like, how long are these people going to all be playing nice and interacting and supporting one
another? And I think that The thing is, is we inspire people able to want to start businesses and want to start spiritual businesses because they see it working for us. And I think a lot of those people don't have the right intentions. They go to our website and they're like, oh, Gemini charges $125.00 for spell work. I could do that. And they see it now as like, OK, this person's been uplifting me and supporting me, but now their competition with me.
Now I want to compete with them because I don't want to go to work for $18.00 an hour. I want to make 125 in an hour. I want to do what she's doing. And they don't realize the back end of like what it took to get to that point. Like all of the blood, sweat and tears that goes into something before you present it to the universe or to other people.
And I just can't take it personal where people want to try to tear me down for something that, like you can't buy, you can't buy someone else's energy, you can't buy someone's else's integrity. You can only stand firm in your own belief system. And I think, unfortunately for most people, they don't have much integrity.
They don't have good intentions. So when they see someone else who's elevating or doing the right thing, they think in their head, well, they must be doing something wrong. They have to be. I'm going to uncover it. I'm going to expose them. I'm going to let their following know that they're not person They say they are and so they try to get close to us on the back end and want to.
You know, I've noticed that if I am in a friendship or a mutual connection with somebody, and 92% of our conversations are about me because they're probing me or asking me questions, it starts making sense that you're trying to collect data on me to try to, like, use it against me. And I've had a lot of people think, because I've told them personal stuff, that they can block that, like, you cannot block what's meant for me, whether it's in business or love or relationships or any of that.
If I shared that information with you, that is the testament of my vulnerability and my openness with the universe to speak those things outward. No, I'm not going to tell you my business plan. I'm not going to tell you my finances, but some personal things, people think because they know about that, that they're going to use that against me later. But I've said it once and I'll say it again. Just because people don't like the Kardashians doesn't stop them from being billionaires.
You can't stop what's meant for someone. Yes, they can step on people along the way, they can do things wrong, they can sell their soul. But you can't stop that. So if I want to step out into the spotlight and share whatever I'm here to share, you're not
going to block that. I don't care what you think you're going to do with it, what information you think you have against me. And I know that a lot of people have tried to come between me and Gemini because I think that they fear the potential that we have together if we stay in this mutual 5050 energy. But the moment that our connection was, you know, 7822, somebody's going to look at the other person, like, you're draining me, you're not doing
enough or, you know, whatever. But it's never been like that because we both show up equally for each other. And I just think it's so funny that it's the people that you've given the most to are the ones that act like you've never done anything for them. And instead of taking that personal, I'm just letting people run with whatever narrative and whatever delusion that they've created because I don't give a fuck. I really don't like if you're mad at me or you have issues with me.
I promise you it is one sided 'cause I do not care. At the end of the day, nobody that's ever had anything to say, you know, that's been like, you know, we took from them or were these horrible, awful people, or we say these crazy shit or anything? Who's ever had any evidence to back anything up? And that that's always stuck with me. Like, you know, I know that there was somebody months ago who was like I paid, you know, all this, you know, money into mentorship.
And you know, I didn't get my readings and ABC and D well, baby, when I go on Patreon, you were only on mentorship one time. And what I see is that you got a free round of class. You got two months in a chat for free. You got two free readings sent to you, and you did a one-on-one video reading with me. And so you got 3 readings and two months of a chat and community support and you know a class for free.
What do you mean? And or you know that you know what, whatever it may be, I've never seen, I've never had somebody be able to come back and be like these are screenshots of this conversation that made me feel like you weren't supportive or you just wanted me for money.
So at the end of the day, people are going to say and project anything that they want to, and people who are in an unhealed space and who need to. Have drama are going to latch onto each other and people who are unhealed and they do not want actual healing to happen inside of their life and they don't want to feel like. I think that a big thing is that people feel that we are judging them because of where they are on their journey and that's a very personal thing for them.
And so instead of working through those emotions and figuring out why they feel that way and why support and love and. And understanding is intimidating and uncomfortable. Instead of working through that feeling, they're like, wow, It would be so much easier if I bonded with these other people who are in the same plane as me and we can just mentor each other through things. So you making friendships because that's your comfort level in that moment doesn't mean that it's a you know?
A healing friendship and something that's going to have longevity. You're probably trauma bonded and you're so happy that you found people who are at your comfort level in your space. And I don't care who takes this information if you have bonded with people that have been inside of our communities. And then you together have tried to alienate our communities and cause bullshit, and now you're bonded. You're fucking clowns, and it's hilarious to both of us that you would find.
People at their lowest space inside of a community of healing become friends and then be like and fuck everybody else. It's it's hilarious to us to see you post pictures together and do things together because we are not like, Oh my God, we are so jealous that they have found these friendships and I wish they would have stayed in our community. We're like, well, bon voyage. I guess the parasites are going
on vacation. And another thing to add to that is there's never been someone who's consistently done the work for six months or more in our communities that hasn't fucking elevated, that hasn't left that toxic relationship or toxic work environment, that hasn't went and started a business that hasn't went in above and beyond to the next level. There's never been someone who's consistently done the work for six months in our communities that's ever acted like that.
It's the people who've been hanging around like leeches for 12 to 18 months without doing the work. Soon as they get off the call, they go hit the pipe and go smoke meth with their friend and whatever they're doing. And then they get on these bingers, these tweaker excursions, and they bond together with other people who have pill problems or drug problems. And I'll be honest, we've all spoke about it, But I used to do drugs. I used to party. Five years ago. Me was a totally different
version than who I am now. But I would never look around at the people that I used to do drugs with and judge them. I would never look around at the people that I used to hang out with and judge them because at that point that made sense to me. At that point, that was where I was at. But as I've elevated, some of those same people have came to me, like, how did you do it? How could you help me? And of course, if you want to do the work to help yourself, you can definitely elevate from
that. But it's like you said, bonding together with the lowest vibrational people within a community space and isolating them and alienating them and putting false hope into their life and telling them just these made-up delusional stories that you've created. Only you believe those. And so then you think, oh, I've convinced these other people, now I'm their leader. And a lot of this is like, I don't want to be your leader. I want you to feel supported and seen.
But you have to lead your journey in the direction of choice. I cannot be your guide and your hand holder forever. Like, if you're going to do it, you got to do it. And I think it's just so funny. The people who pay or do the bare minimum within the space are always the ones with issues. Because just for example, I have a girl who's been on my Patreon for nine months. She's been on the very top level, the very, very top level on mentorship for nine months. She's never been in a community
circle. She barely does any of the extracurriculars that ioffer. She's never hopped in the discord. And guess what? She is the most happy and satisfied person that I have. She's like, I would never leave you. She's like, I would budget other things out before I canceled mentorship. She's never went down a level. She's never ever had any issues. She's lost jobs. She's changed jobs. She's changed relationships. She's moved. She's had to give up one of her
animals during this. She's Some of her animals have passed away during this, and never once has she projected any of that onto me or made me feel like I needed to do more for her. She's always very flexible. You know, if something comes up and I need to change or she needs to change, there's never any issue. We text and talk every single day. There's never an issue. And it's funny that someone can pay $222 a month for nine months. You all do the math and never have an issue.
But then there's people who paid $7.00 or $11.00 that have all these issues. It's like you are the problem, baby girl. You are the problem. Not me, not Gemini, not the community. It's the fact that in real life you don't have any fucking friends, period. The only friends you have are people you've met through me or Gemini. That says a lot about you as an adult and as a person.
And I'll just say this. One of my new red flags and relationships is when guys don't have a healthy friend group. Like I've dated guys and they have one friend, like a best friend or a cousin or a brother, someone that they link with. But if you don't have a healthy friend group of three or more people, I see you as a problem. I see you as a red flag because you're the common denominator in this equation.
And I've noticed when I look back at my relationships that were trauma bonds, 90% of them had no real friends. They had no real friend group. And now that I've elevated and I have healthy friend dynamics, there are these little leeches and snakes that try to come in and siphon energy from those communities or from those spaces. But at the end of the day, you're only easily influenced if you're not in alignment. If you're in alignment, you can
spot the issue. You may not speak on it, you may not jump on it, but you can spot the issue. But a lot of people don't want to face the music that they are the fucking problem, Period. They're the problem in their finances. They're the problem in their relationships. They're the problem in their friendships and they don't want to admit that. They want to project that on to someone else or something else as being the reason they're acting like that.
But it's like at the end of the day, you have to sit with yourself. You have to look your grown ass in the mirror and say this is my life and I'm the one that's got me here. I'm the one that's LED up to this point. You can't look at Gemini or me or other people and blame them for your lack of accountability. And I think that's the one thing that we both do very well as we hold people accountable. I'm going to do what I've committed to do because that's what I'm doing for the universe.
It's not for you. It's not for them. It's for the universe. I'm doing this as a part of my sole purpose. You can't take someone else's purpose and make it your own. Well, and also, you know, there's different ways that everybody's going to give information and that they're going to say something. And if you are somebody who you need people who are going to say things really softly and gingerly to you and that are going to be like, no, like, come on, we're working on this.
We're doing this now come on. And they're going to hold your hand and be really soft and gentle. There are a lot of people out there that do that. There are a lot of communities that you can join. And and you know, spiritual mentors that there are that are very soft spoken and that are going to just, you know, hold your hand and guide you and and be. So like tender with you and we're not those people.
And if it it turns out that you don't like the way that we deliver information or that, you know, the the way that we assert boundaries or the way that we communicate things, it's OK to be like that doesn't serve me. And I'm going to, you know, I need something gentler over here and I'm going to go over here and it's possible for you to do that and make those changes without absolutely having to try and tear somebody down or blast them or say that they're doing something wrong because their
communication style. Isn't your comfort zone. So like at the end of the day, you're part of yourself evaluation and you know when you're triggered by things and you're frustrated by people is figuring out why and then how you need to navigate. And I tell you what, there are plenty of people that we. Both that we've moved away from, you know, teachers that we found, mentors that we found or whatever that didn't serve us. I haven't had to name drop anybody. I haven't had to blast them.
I haven't had to go into that side of their communities and be like, what a piece of shit, right? Haven't had to do any of those things because I just moved into the energy that served me better. Because if I didn't like that energy over there, why am I now going to lend my energy to their demise? And The thing is, is if you're here to try to wreak havoc or tear someone down, then you need to once again self evaluate on
how you are the fucking problem. Because just cause how someone isn't in alignment with you doesn't mean they're not in alignment with other people. So you going in there and trying to sway people one way or another, is your limiting beliefs. Trying to take away other people's support? Or like other people's energetic vibration isn't really affected by your energetic vibration unless you're projecting that onto them.
And I honestly think that a lot of people wish that they had mentors and they wish that they had community until they get it. And then they're needing to be accountable for their limiting beliefs, for their bullshit. And you know, I will say this a million times. The real healing journey starts when you're tired of your own bullshit, when you can look yourself in the eyes and be like, you know what, I was the
problem in that relationship. I was projecting unhealed trauma from my childhood onto that person. Or I am late every day. So that's why I'm not getting a raise at work. I don't take it serious or, you know, I only get ready if there's alcohol involved. If not, I walk around looking like a homeless bum 24/7 and wonder why I can't get a date or wonder why no one wants to be around me. And these are just examples.
I'm not even pointing this out for anyone in particular, but I'm just saying like, we have choices and we have commitments that we have to have here on this Earth timeline and you have to realize where you're falling short and not be mean to yourself about it. Like I tell people, look at why you are the way you are with curiosity rather than judgment. It's easy to be like, wow, when you were 23, you were a piece of shit, and I wish I would have done things different.
Or you could just say I was really going through a traumatic experience. I went through a car wreck, which led me to use drugs, which led me to this relationship, which led me to this job. And I need to take accountability that that one catalyst moment of drinking and driving put me into a spiral for five years. That's just an example. That's not my life story.
But you know what I mean? Like, you have to look at what led you like Legos. What led you to build that structure and why is it not in alignment with you? And how can you break that mold without pointing fingers of like, well, that person abused me, or I was sexually abused, or I had this, or my mom's an addict or whatever.
Like you've got to see yourself as the common denominator and move forward with curiosity and elevation rather than judgment and and being critical of yourself because you can't get that time back. And the more you're sitting here dwelling on it, the more you're going to be angry with people who have elevated from it. And that's what I tell people. It be the people that you were at low points with that don't want to see you break that mold because they're not out of that
energy. It be the people that know where you came from and know what you have overcome that are the most envious and jealous of you because they realized that you both were dealt the same hand of cards and they're losing and you're winning. Yep, Amen. On that note, let's pull a human design card. Here we go. Look at this dog right now. Tits to the Sky look page. That's a vibe. She likes the porn couch flipped up, baby. She. Has her own little cushion over
here. OK, so we got card 24 for the void. Listen, little Kitty. All right, the sign it. The sign is Taurus, the gift is genius, and the shadow is addiction. OK, gaze into the void and confront your deepest shadows. Beyond the darkness is a strand of delicate light, a soft beam to guide you to the ripened fruits of your inner world.
When you're able to transcend the patterns of the shadow, life expands beyond the previous limitations you've placed onto it. You're able to see how your own mind has played tricks on you. Silence befriends you as you stare into the void with curiosity and awe. From this gap, consciousness awakens and your innate genius greets you once again, and again and again. A spell never broken. Your shadow is addiction.
Rooted within the collective, this shadow bears witness to our deeply entrenched survival tendencies. We find a relative comfort and repetition, time, worn patterns and narrow mindedness. The distorted view that safety is found only in ways of thinking or being. This is an addiction to mind centered strategies to avoid suffering. This could manifest in various ways, including substance abuse. Seeking solace in the outside world versus your inner sanctuary or using habits is a
crutch. Anything has the potential to veer into addiction when we bypass the void and the root cause of suffering. Your themes are innate genius patterns, the Void and Silence, and that just really plays on everything we were saying. Because, and there's so much underneath the surface that we have to explore with curiosity. Quit being mean to yourselves and quit projecting yourself hatred on to people who are trying to help you or people
that are doing better than you. Because like I said earlier, you can hate what someone's doing and just not say anything and just move the fuck on. There's no need for the falling out. There's no need for drama. So save the drama for your Mama and we'll see you next time in Candyland. Bye bitches.