That Rap Guys Wife

Welcome to fucking Candy Land, hosted by Rampage and Gemini. What the fuck is up, everybody? Welcome back to Candyland. So we have been talking about our special surprise for a little bit of time now and we finally have a guest that we both mutually respect and like wanted to have on the podcast. So we have the rap guy's wife AKA Nicole coming on today and we are so excited. How are you doing? I'm good. How are y'all?

You're good. So for those of you that don't know, she is married to little white, Mr. Oxycontin, Xanax bars. But the thing that we really wanted to bring her on for is because she's super spiritual, she's a boss bitch, She runs businesses, raises families, and she's newly sober. So we're going to talk about all of this, and I'm going to let Jim and I take it away with questions because she has all kinds of questions.

I did have all kinds of questions because we, on a like a really small scale, we're finding out that the more that we're starting to do things, the more there are people around who are like, Oh my gosh, I just love you so much. And like, I Rep you so hard. And it's the people who seem to like, have the most love that turn around and do something with that energy and have some kind of betrayal.

And I for us, we've watched not only low white, but we've watched you kind of grow your own following and doing your own things. And we've seen people that we used to watch in your comments supporting you now having, you know, sometimes not the same energy. And so, like, how does that feel for you with showing how you are authentically and your whole person and still sometimes having people come back and have anything negative to say when

you show who you are? So I was bullied so much growing up. So it's kind of just always been just like a well, that's how you feel. Whatever. Like I've never been perfect. I come from I'm one of five. So being that family with a single mom and five kids, like everybody was like kind of always pointing their finger like oh like it all the way from not having the newest, cleanest shoes or name brand clothes to

now. You know, I've had nursing jobs where they're like, well, you're made it a little white. How did you pass the drug test to get this job? And I'm like, what does that have to do with me? Just cuz he writes about all that stuff and raps about it. Doesn't mean I'm over here. Just, you know, snorting a line and going to work like this is not how that world works. Well, when people rap about fucking bitches all the time who have never had a fucking hot bitch that they've fucked in

their whole life. Right. Are you from Tennessee? Is that where you're from? I'm from, born and raised in Memphis, TN. So is that how you all met? Because I remember hearing a little bit about y'all Story on Bunny's podcast, which was when I originally started following you. I didn't even know there was a Mrs. Little White, but I remembered I'm talking about like you worked at a bar and he would kind of just like, come into that bar.

Is that how you all met? Yeah, so I worked on Bill St. for like 10 years and he said I was the first bartender to come up and just hand him a crown of coke. He's like, how'd you know? And I'm like, you say it just in about like every song. Like if you wanted something else, I'd be like, if that's not what you drink, you might want to switch your lyrics around, bro. Like, he's like, no, this is awesome. No one's ever just handed me a crown of Coke.

So love at first sight, then she's like, I got Oxycontin, Xanax bars. You sang about it in that? Song. My favorite thing about this moment is like that nostalgia. Like, I heard that song, I was probably 11 years old and it was like the hit. I mean, that song was everywhere. And then really my favorite song was my smoking song at 11 years

old. So it's like when I look back on that and then now we're sitting here with you like 20 years later, I just feel like, what kind of planet am I on now? Because. Really anything is possible, but so many people limit themselves based on who they used to be. And I know that you've been making a lot of personal changes lately, so can you elaborate on kind of what you got going?

Yeah, so we had a bunch of stuff going on and everybody knows my husband hit a mailbox and has the whole alcohol ankle monitor on and this and that. So he had court for it and we he started going to outpatient classes. And this was way before any other extra drama was added to what we already had going on at home and at court. The judge was just like, no, this is too much. You need inpatient rehab. So he was like, all right, so we got him in the program. He spent two weeks in jail,

which. The gentleman, this is horrible. So, like, we were all stressed out. And I got him into a program. And so while he was gone, I was just like, you know what? If he's not going to drink, I'm not going to drink. We're totally fine. It's not a big deal. So I quit drinking. And then, like, while he was gone, I was like, I got to do

something about to lose my mind. So I started going to the gym and I joined Hot Works, which is a hot yoga thing, and I'm obsessed with it. But it like, sweats out toxins in your body. And like after the first one like I didn't want any sodas. And then I didn't, like, intentionally give up red meat or pork. But like, I would have worked out like maybe three days in a row doing that. And the first time I took a bite of red meat, I got sick. So I'm like strictly chicken,

vegetables and water and coffee. So it just kind of keeps flowing and my body's happy and I'm happy, so. I love that. So you used to be a nurse and now you manage the business full time? Yes. So I was a wound care nurse, which is considered a nurse management position. And when COVID hit, like if one nurse got sick and we're already short staffed through COVID, they would pull us from our

assignment. So we had to do the floor and then turn around and get all of our dressings done and stuff like that. Advantages. And I got so sick, I thought I had like a kidney infection or something like I couldn't even stand. And I like. I woke up at like. 4:00 in the morning. And I drove myself to the emergency room like my husband called. He was like, where are you at? What are you doing? I was like, I'm at the emergency room. I couldn't wait for you to get up.

Like, I had to go. And the Doctor Who looked at me and was like, you're literally working yourself today. There's nothing wrong with you. He's like, you're literally in pain because your body still need to slow down. So we were all my way back from the show one time. And he went inside a pilot, which is where all the guys had to stop to take a shit when they're on the road. So he's been there for, like, 1520 minutes. He comes out and I'm like, here you go.

I just did this, this and this and this and how much money I just made. He was like. I went inside to take a shit and you just made more money than what you make in like 3 months and 20 minutes. When we get home. You're quitting your job. Why are you doing that? 15 minutes sell pictures of your feet I. Don't know, my feet made made a little more money than booking some little white shows. I got some cute little toes over here.

I just booked like 2 shows and answered a couple of emails and like and it was like even some of them had instantly sent the money for features and stuff and he was like. Starting to go to the bathroom again. I was like, no, come on, let's go home. He's like, when we get home, you're done working, you're coming home. I was like, and now if I joke with the kids, I'm like, Mom's going back to work.

They're like, no, you're not like they'll even like we'll eat ramen noodles, like you're not going back to work. Mom, I love that support. And also too, there are so many people who wouldn't trust their spouses, taking on some type of like management role for them or like doing their business dealings. And I'm always like, so why are you with them then? If you wouldn't trust them inside of handling any of your stuff, then maybe that's like

not the partner for you. So the fact that you guys have that foundation where you're like, go take a shit, I'll just be in here doing the things with or without permission and on page talking. I call her Polly Pocket by the

way. So like if throughout the podcast I call her Polly, while we're talking, I calling her page is just so weird to me. But talking about that nostalgia thing, I love that like, we grew up and we're like, no Sir, I went from it would be so cool to talk to that rap guy to like, no, I want to talk to your wife. Can I talk to your wife?

You know, I feel like with Bunny, like opening her doors for me and like kind of just like introducing me to her family, to her friends, to her people, that me and you, Nicole just really bonded. And like, you're like one of the people that I was like, wow, I really, really like her. Like, you're just so genuine and you can tell that you're super genuine. And I feel like you keep your husband grounded, and I honestly feel like he's been way more

successful. Since being with you just because you're like super grounded and practical and I feel like also spontaneous, like you get shit done and you can see that, like you can tell that you're about your business and that's why I was like, I think it's so beautiful that you are like building your own. Name and like doing your own thing, but then also like helping him excel into a better person. Because you know, getting sober

is really freaking hard. And if you have someone who supports that, it's 1000 times easier. And I know that, you know, I've been on a sobriety journey. And your whole life changes when you stop distracting yourself with drugs and alcohol and partying and whatever. And it's just beautiful when people go on to that self love journey. And I can really tell, especially just like with your post, they're so motivating. And I saw today you're like 75 days this he's 100 days.

And I was like, what a special day that we're meeting with you and it's like a milestone for you. So he's he actually, when we first started dating, we were sitting, we were at his house, obviously, because we wouldn't just start dating and moving with each other. But he had a stack of bills, like on his counter. And I was like, what is all this? He's like, it's my bills. And I was like, I was like, well, dude, they're like, all past due. He's like, I know. I'm working on it.

Like it was like, right after he had all that bad management and this and that. And I was like, all right, so I picked him up and I was just sitting there like, what are you doing? I had my phone. I was like, I'm paying your bills. He's like, you're what? So I was like, well, I mean, how? Because he had moved down back into our area for his daughter, because he found out some stuff that her Mama was doing and thought he was just going to

have to, you know, be there. And when he got that phone call and I was like, well, what are you going to do if the lights are out and you got to go get her? I was like, and if you're trying to pay bills, how you can put the groceries down? I was like, it's not a big deal. Seriously, don't worry about it. I got it. So, like, paid, you know, like the essential bills form and whatnot. And then we were sitting there one night, He was talking about a show.

And I was like, you know, you can give yourself a raise, right? He's like, what are you talking about? I was like, it's your show. They're booking you. Like, if you think they should pay you more than it's your, it's your choice, like, increase the price of your shows. He's like, Oh my God. So, like, like, like, we literally started from the beginning of all his stuff for him. Like, like Even so much is like getting him a bank account.

He was just like, I just pay cash and I go do this. I'm like, no, no, you don't. You get a bank account because when that cash is in your pocket, you spend it and then you turn around like so it was like. From like building it from the ground up for him, which was like what he really, truly needed after all the stuff he'd been through before we started dating. And I think that's about go ahead.

Sorry. I'm saying I think that's so beautiful because so many people want that type of connection. I got it. And I think I that's why I admire people because you can genuinely see that their connection is reciprocal and that they support each other and like they go to battle for each other and it's like we're on the same team. You know what I mean? Like we're the same team and so many people are competing with their partner or kind of put their partner on the back

burner. And I love that you were like, no, this is a priority. I'm going to take care of it. And he said he's never had a chick do that. He's like, wait, what? He's like well, am I It needs to be done. Like just come on let's go and like. But it also took me like just as much effort as it took him he was because he tried to talk me into leaving work for like 3 years. He was like just come home. I'm like, no dude, like it's

your music. But when I realized that his music needed more help than and I told him I'd never take away from his music career. So me being away from work and working so much, it was taken away from his music career because I wasn't home in time for him to go to the studio or? You know, when I did get home and he wanted, you know, to talk about music, I'd fall asleep mid conversation and he's like, I was just, I was trying to do a zombie when COVID hits, so

everything happens for a reason. So music is #1 right now for him so well, and that's like that behind the scenes support too, of doing those things that other people aren't going to necessarily like be seeing in the public, but they are really helping you like support your person. And it probably helps to make him feel nurtured and

comfortable too. I don't know what his background is with all of that, but I know that has to make somebody feel, like, nurtured and safe to know that you're stepping in and like, hey, I'm gonna pay these bills so that you're able to do these other things that you need to do for your child. And especially if someone's in a situation where their kid isn't being taken care of fully by another person and they're having to step up somebody else coming in and being like, hey,

you're not alone with this. Like, let me take this burden off of you or let me help you in this way and that behind the scenes support too. I think that a lot of people don't understand how much sacrifice I think that you go through to in order to like make somebody else's dream come true.

Because while yes, like that's your role as a partner like you're being supportive, there is also that initiative like self sacrifice of well, this is taking a, you know, quitting my job is or quitting your job is really taking a piece of like something that you probably worked really hard to have that independence for yourself and that like identity of I've got me. And that's a lot of trust that

you put in somebody else too. So that's a huge, like growth on your own healing and spiritual journey to be like, I'm going to trust in this person and their dream and put to the side something that I worked really hard to obtain. Oh, yeah. It definitely wasn't the easiest, either. I went down to Dark Hole and got really depressed because a part of me I've always I was a nurse, Nicole, like, everybody called me.

Family members called me. Nurses would call me in the middle of the night and be like, Nicole, what do we do about this? And like and everybody knew I was a nurse. So I kind of like, for a minute I felt like almost invisible. And then it's and it sounds so petty. But when I lost my Instagram page, it was like why I went from people telling me that I motivate them and I brighten their day. And Nurse Nicole's gone. And now that page is gone. So it's like, now what am I doing?

I'm just sitting here. It's almost like I sat in the dark. So, I mean, even while he's in rehab, I did a lot of soul searching myself. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to be all right. We're good. I feel like your aura has shifted so much since I did that past life reading for you. And you were like, so much of this is making sense right now. And you're like, I showed this to my brother or my friend. And they were like, that sounds just like you.

And I feel like that protective spirit that you have, like you've carried that with you in so many lifetimes. And I think it's beautiful that you can put your sword down and like, let him, you know. Take care of you while you also take care of him in a different way. And I think that's like what I personally want in my life.

You know, I see people like yourself and and Bunny and Jelly and people that are just like they go to war for each other and they really support each other's dreams. And I think that's so amazing. And it's really like rare, you know, in this day and age because some people just do shit for the Internet and it's not reality. But you know, putting putting your pride aside and like stepping up in that way, I feel like. How do you think that's affected you as far as, like on a

personal level? So I think the biggest part that in like we both have gone through this since making all these changes is as a human we never at want to admit we're wrong ever. Like we don't ever want to admit that. And you're not necessarily lying to yourself and the public by not talking about it. So there's but when you do talk about there's a fear of like people and what they did on the Internet all the time. They take what you do or say and they completely twisted it

around. Like the other day. Me having my new glow and being happy was me covering up my face because I'm a drug addict and my face is ate up and I'm just like because I'm happy now all of a sudden I've like just got crater face all over the Internet that I'm covering up I mean. I just now learned how to do eyeliner like a couple years ago. Like really good. Like this is progress for me like.

You know is that when you made the post where you talked about how you've blown up and you've learned how to do your makeup and all that. Yeah. So yes, between and it was a man that said that. And then there was all sorts of other posts from a certain event that happened saying that I'm a heroin addict or I've done I'm on drugs and like I shouldn't have custody of my kids. Like all sorts of stuff from like a 10 second clip and I'm

just like. And now that I'm doing better, all of a sudden it's it like it. The Internet is so cruel. Like all these people are the biggest bully. So there's a part of me that when you do talk about it, you're like, well, am I going to get rejected? But then I I just realized, you know what? I am who I am. If they don't like it, there's an unfollow. There's a block. In the same way that you. It takes you longer to type out a hateful comment than it does for me to hit delete and block.

So I just finally had to let go of that. And anybody, my block list is. So I probably got more people blocked than I have followers at this point. Whenever all of that was cycling around, I know you were going through some really difficult stuff. How do you feel about like when people don't know the whole story? There's a part of us that wants to justify it, but like, how good does it feel to just keep it moving and keep the train pushing?

Because that's what I feel like y'all been doing. It's hard because no, no matter how, no matter what you do in life, whether it's good or bad, someone's always going to be like, well, that doesn't make sense or why did you do this or

why did you do that? And then if you try to justify things, it just makes people that don't know what's going on dig it up. So it's like you're creating this giant mountain out of a molehill, and it's all you get when one person doesn't like you and a group of people that don't like you. The only thing you have in common is still just you. So whether it's good or bad, you're still the common denominator.

So at some point in time you just got to figure out does it really matter what they say and just keep moving like? My, I never lost any sleep at night. It sucked because I I don't ever want to see people upset. So I'm just like, so the people that were upset that didn't deserve to see that I'm like, damn, that sucks for them, But we can fix it. Everybody else, I'm good.

We'll just keep going. So it's such a tight line that you have to walk to because you are like putting yourself out there publicly and you do want to be known and like share yourself and your journey And you talk about your sobriety journey and things. And then at the same time you also have that, like, well, I don't give a fuck what people think, but I'm also trying to like what things do I talk about

and do I share. Because it's almost like you have to pick and choose what types of things you're willing to have feedback on from other people. Because there are like, there are, no matter how much we don't give a fuck, there are always certain topics that we really give a fuck about and like we'll fight your mother over. And so I know that, like, for you being so out there, are there any things that you're like when it comes to this?

I I don't. I don't share these personal things about like my kids or whatever. So our kids are all pretty like outspoken, like we are the only thing we really don't post. We don't post school events. You'll never see our kids schools, you won't see addresses and stuff we post. We're very, very protective about their locations and stuff like that. But I will never dog our kids as other parents on social media.

That's not the world's business. Whether they're 100% with our kids every day or they're 100% out the picture. That's not the world's business. And even if we do post things about our kids and or talk about our kids, we let them know first. They've all four of our kids have been through a lot of stuff that you wouldn't imagine kids ever go through. And so that's been one of our biggest goals since we started dating.

Like we didn't even let the kids meet each the other one until we've been together for like 3 months. And then like it's it was kind of a one-on-one meeting. And then like my older son, he was 5 and he sat my husband down was like, well, what are your intentions with my mother at five years old? So if you can imagine him saying that at 5:00 and then his oldest daughter, she was 11/12, I think she's like 12. And she saw a picture of me.

She was like, well, are her glasses prescription or is she, she's trying to be cool And he was like, no, she's totally blind. He's like okay, that's fine. I can deal with that. So like, they had they all for the kids and made sure the other one of us was super real before we just kind of joined this cluster of the most functioning dysfunctional family ever so. I'm obsessed with that. You could be blind. You just can't be a poser. When growing up in Tennessee, like what was your childhood

like? I know you said that you're one of five. So what did you grow up in a like a close knit family or were. So I'm the oldest girl I have older brother than it's me and then I had a little sister and then we the twins were the youngest. So it was just my mom, and we grew up that regular poor white trash family on food stamps. And if we missed the bus, we probably didn't get to school because mom couldn't just drive us all over the town and get

back to work and all that. It was a whole neighborhood full of boys. So I've always been like one of the homies, like playing basketball, and I was usually with my older brother who's six years older than me. So I was just always around older kids and I probably knew way too much way before I should have, but it was either that or hang out with babies. So it was I was kind of stuck in that middle. But I always learned how to fight. I knew how to defend myself.

We got called the worst and my maiden name is Di Filippo, so that name got made fun of a lot. So I've always, and then between me and my brother, when it my siblings came up behind us, they got made fun of a lot. So there's a lot of times where I, you know, I had to go down to the bus stop, I'd missed my bus and go to their bus stop just to tell all these little kids like they're not the ones to mess with. So I've always been like a Mama figure. I guess you could say like with it.

That I get from you is like Mama bear and that's kind of like, I know came through in your reading. But like you can feel that energy. Like you can feel that don't fuck with me energy coming from you. Like I feel like if people do really get to know you, that you have such a sweet and like kind heart. But if you cross that boundary, I feel like it's like, no, fuck you real quick.

Oh, my own Mama would tell you she's like, ooh Nicole, she's like, you're either someone's best friend or their worst enemy. I really hope I never pissed you up. I'm like, thanks Mom. I remember watching the interview that you did on Bunny's podcast and I was laughing because. You to me, your energy was like, you were kind of laying back. You were letting your husband kind of have the floor on

things. And I was like, she's just like, so sweet and like, I don't know, I got this like, like innocent wallflower vibe. And then all of a sudden y'all started talking about sex and he's over here talking about you riding the big toe and shit. And I'm sitting there. Bust in the fuck up. I couldn't stop laughing. And then I was like, I'm following her. We're about to be friends. Like, I I have to be on this shit show ride. It was amazing on this big tail

fun house. Yeah, I'm like I can make anything dirty like it's he like that. He says that when the old men, when they're doing like this, he said it's because of years of just shaking their heads at their wives. Like, we'll go places. He's like, what are you about to say? And I'm like, I don't know. This stuff just comes out. He was like, whoa, OK, just remember where we're at. And I'm like, you know what? You're a little white. You're the ratchet one. Don't worry about me.

He's like, Oh no, I am not the Ratchet one anymore. Whenever you were growing up, you said you grew up in Memphis. Did you know like 3-6 Mafia and like, did you know, I mean, obviously they're all from that area, correct? So my freshman year, my, my best friend, she was talking to a dude that lived out in Millington, which was like one of those areas. Like, we're not allowed to drive that far. It was like 45 minutes from like basically civilization because it was still like the country

out there. So he snuck out one night, she was talking to this dude and he was like, you should listen to this mixtape. And he played, I was like, who is this? And they say it was the group that he was with before we got signed. And I was like, there's no way that's a white dude. He's like, it totally is. Like there's there's no way like like I listen to every, I've heard every Memphis artist, like, you know my older brother, six years older.

So I've been riding around with him doing Donuts in the parking lots and shit listening to Three 6 Mafia. So I'm like that that's not a white dude he's and so when the CD came out, he had called my friend and was like y'all need to go get the CD. So we actually probably like one of the two times I've skipped school.

We skipped school when got his CD the day dropped and went to Wendy's and got the two Junior Bacon cheeseburgers and two waters for $2.06 that we stole out of her mom's change jar and just drove around the city listening to his CD. The day dropped so like it's literally been since day one. I've been a fan and I would have never thought he'd walked up to my bar. Then 8 1/2 years later, here we are. I love that you had it down to the six fucking cents we had. We robbed her mom's change jar

so many times. Like there was when a dollar mini was actually a dollar mini. Like we knew exactly how much change we needed. And then they didn't charge for waters back then. So we were like, all right, we got this. We don't need lunch. We can go. We can get this. So when you were in school, were you like you were attentive in school and you were good in school or did you like kind of

rebel during school? Or was like, I feel like you're smart if you went on to be a nurse that you you had to have some book smart. So I was a straight A student and I missed my sophomore year. I missed like a month. I missed like three straight weeks. I had, I got a spider bite my leg that almost killed me. So I missed a week from that. I had a really bad ear infection and I missed a week from that. And then my mom had her hysterectomy and I was the the oldest one at the house that

they don't take care of her. So we went to, they sent us to truancy court. And I've been asking my mom, I'm like, well, just put me in gateway, just let me homeschool myself. And I went and got a job and I paid for it and everything. We went to truancy court and they told my mom I was going to end up just like my older brother. And she was like, oh, no, Sir, you know what? She's not.

She's like, I'm not doing this. So she pulled me out of public schools and I did the homeschool thing and I graduated with the 4.0 at the age of 15. Wow. So I graduated 10th, 11th and 12th grade in one year. Did you go on to college early or did you take some time off and work? No, I went straight into college. My dad was like, no, if you take a break, you're never going to go.

And I was just, it was like the one thing in my entire life that he's ever been a part of. He's like, I'll pay for your first semester. I was like, OK, so I went to little Community College and I did that, and then I made it. I couldn't go straight to the nursing program because you had to be 18 years old because you deal with so many machines and stuff. And I so they put me on the waiting list because of my age. I had like the top score as far

as the applications. But I wasn't old enough to be on the actual floor. I was like, well, So what I do for two years. So I took a bunch of electives. I took every psychology class you can think of. I took every business management class you could think of, which is now helping me today, which I had no idea why. I was just like, so we'll just learn all this. So I did a bunch of extra classes. That was one of them. I'm just, I'm such a cheap ass. I was like, how many hours can I take?

I was like, alright, we're going to use all of them. We're going to pay for this semester. We're using up every hour possible. So I took all sorts of extra classes for two years until I could start a nursing school. You did that at 15, my mom had to drive. My mom had to drive me to my first day of college and then take me to get my driver's license on my 16th birthday. So that's a super overachiever from someone that grew up in a poor, like single household.

I feel like that's like an anomaly and also adds back to like how grounded you are. You get shit done. And I feel like when your mind is set on something, you're going to make that happen. And you can see that in like just your post and like the energy that you bring into the world, like, you can really tell like. I've got a plan and I know what to do and I'm gonna figure it out. And I love that.

I admire women like that because a lot of women compete with each other and they don't want to see other women win and whatever. And that's why I like whenever Bunny introduced us, I was like, oh, I really like this girl. I was like, she is like a writer. You can tell that you're like a ride or die that you're not like. One of those flaky, phony people that just kind of like latch on

to the people doing the work. I feel like you're ready to, like, get your hands dirty and like, do what you got to do to get where you want to be. So what is the biggest challenge that you're finding now? Managing your husband's music career, Getting him to the studio? Here's the problem he So a lot of people don't will. I think all artists are like this.

They're So what they wanna do, what they wanna do when they wanna do it. And my husband's just like any other husband and artist where I've got to make it like it's his idea and kind of twist it around. So like, but I've we've been together so long now like I know exactly how he'll respond to questions like even when I reply back to emails or messages he like, babe, did I write this? I'm like, no. I did.

He's like oh it sounds like me I was like I know but you were busy and this you know person has this question so technically it's still him replying. It's just me putting his words out for him. But I figured out like, if he wakes up and then when he wakes up, I can tell kind of Moody's in. So like, it's like a almost like a like a giant puzzle every day. Like if he's not in the mood to do it, then we're not going to answer that question today.

She's ever laughing at me. So whenever you reply back and and you're handling emails and things like that, do you have a challenge with people like doing what they say they're going to do? Because, like what I'm finding in business is that a lot of people want to collaborate, or they want to hype you up, or they want to be a part of what you've already created, but they don't want to do any of the work and that's. That's what we're finding.

It's like, especially with guests, we didn't really want any more guests because they seem like, very egocentric and weird when once we get them on the podcast, like they're not who they show the world. And I was like, Oh no, Nicole, like we need her on there. And the craziest part about it was you lost your page. We had already been following

you. When your page came back, I had unfollowed everyone on our podcast page just to like, you know, declutter it. And then it was like showing that we were following three people and you were one of them. And I was like this is a sign because I had already mentioned. Maybe having you on the podcast in the future, but it was like we were on a break from season 2 to season three. And it's just so ironic that, like, it's season three and you are our third person that we were following.

But we just find that, like when collaborating with certain people, they don't bring the same energy that they have in the beginning. Oh yeah, it happens all the time. So it's like when we have other artists that want to do songs and stuff with him, or even even any anything we do, people go from like just meeting us. And then all of a sudden we're family, which we love everybody. But then they start stretching it and taking it further.

And then a lot of people, I gave out my personal number just so they know for sure that like, like I can FaceTime them for my number versus the business number we have. And like, look, this is the White's wife, his manager, he's right here. A lot of people have lately been saying that their wife is their manager, too. And I'm like, maybe at home, but like, I'm running a whole business. We have a music label and we have like all sorts of stuff going on.

I was like, but it just, it makes it weird when they instantly want to throw that out there. I'm just like, OK, So what do you want me to do with that? Like, I've been talking to you the whole time and all of a sudden that we're close. You want me to talk to your wife slash manager, like, so it a lot of people get really weird and you just kind of have to just keep moving forward and be like,

all right, so here's your stuff. We'll see you on this day and this is what we're doing and just kind of, I guess you'd say brush it off respectfully. It's like the easiest way I could say of how I get through all that. I feel like it's that competition energy too, where it's like, Oh well, if he's got a wife that's doing boss bitch shit, I got to have a wife that's doing boss bitch shit.

And she's probably sitting there in her Elmo fucking slippers, not doing Jack shit, attaching her own belly button. And you know, people, people really will be like we've encountered. People will be so different. And you'll see them like on social media or even like, we'll have a conversation with somebody and then we'll sit down to actually, like, start talking to them and you'll press record. And all of a sudden you're like, who the fuck is this?

Like we had, we've talked about it before, like we never named drop or anything like that. But we have this one person who had like millions of followers and shows up on social media and is like just this boss ass bitch and we're like, Oh my gosh, like

this is going to be so exciting. And when we went to record, she showed up inside of a car with like, only the thing lit on the top of the ceiling and was like, distracted the entire time and kept arguing with Paige. Every time Paige would say something, she's like, well, I don't agree with that and would start going to the point that I was like, why the fuck are you here? You're fucking odd. I don't even know. You could argue with Paige. Like, wait, what? You can do that.

She would literally just have an opinion. She would be like, this is what I think about the spiritual realm. And she would be like, oh, that is wrong, Absolutely not. This is spreading hateful speech and I'm like, go fuck yourself. Know what I said to her, but she flipped her shit and I told Gemini afterwards I was like she totally was like either on drugs. Like she had just hit a chicken bone like prior to that's why

she was in her car. But it was the weirdest thing because this girl had like 3 million tick tock followers. Shows up so whimsical and sweet and just very nice. But then on the podcast with us, we never even aired it. She was like a raging bitch. And it was the weirdest thing. And I know that anytime that you have some type of notoriety or a platform or whatever, people always want to project their bullshit onto you. And that's why I like having guests turned into like, a hassle.

Because people just treat their platform one way. And then we would have them on our podcast, They wouldn't promote it. They wouldn't talk about it. They wouldn't even tell like. We're not asking people to make a freaking sign and tell everyone that you were on the podcast, but to like, treat our platform with no respect. It was like, that is the weirdest shit. We are not airing this at all, so y'all don't want me to go stand on at 40 with a sign that says.

I do want you to do that, and I want pictures and video. I'm going to show the girls while you do it because those pictures you took were looking hot. I'm getting pictures. You search movies. Or what she just I'm just getting more comfortable with showing them now because like I said, I've just and it's something that's like not like being his eye candy. I guess there's arm candy or what not. I've done security, I've D Jed, I've hyped me and I'm the

driver. I pack our bags, I do the routing for everything where we stop, like where we like all of it. He does find the restaurants, so that is his job. He's got to find restaurants around the road. But I've literally at shows, I've gone from just talking to the promoter to them being like a crazy fan walking up to him. And I've had the throat punch a bitch before. And then I just go right back to manager mode. Then everybody's like, how do

you do that? And I'm like, well, she's out the way, come on, we got to keep doing what we're doing. So, like, it's like, I hop through like hopscotch in the different roles. Like throughout shows, it's like, and I don't even think about it. My husband's like, are you good? And I'm like, I'm fine. What's up? What are we going to eat when we leave the show? She's like, so.

She's trying to find dinner after she just throat punched a bitch and everybody's like needing a minute to collect themselves and she's like, I'm fucking hungry. What do you think is the most exciting thing about working for yourself and being able to set your own schedules and kind of like have that collaborative partnership with him?

It's like so like when I go into work mode, he'll usually kind of that's when he kind of goes into his phone and listen to beats and like we so we both kind of clock in and clock out together. So on the flip side, it's literally like living every day with your best friend. Like all of it. Like we get up, like we love playing pool now and he's kind of mad that I've gotten really good at pool. So like, I don't know what to tell him.

I was like, I'm quick learning, but we'll go play pool or we'll like, we'll find a new place for lunch to go try it or we'll like, we'll find new movies like we're like movie and like TV like whores, like we watch everything like and then we like binge watch stuff. So we might have three days at home on the couch or we just watch the entire series and it's like the most fun for us. And like, if I can't make him laugh at least 9000 times a day, I'm probably doing something

wrong with that day. What kind of movies and shows do you guys watch together? All of them. We both love horror movies. He actually has a whole sleeve of horror movies. And that was like, one of my tests, I guess you could say. And he was like, can you name all these horror movies? I'm like, are you joking right now? And like, I went down through every single horror movie he's got tatted on his arm. He's like, no one's ever done that.

I'm like, well, who the hell have you asked to do that? It's like, the easiest thing I've ever done. He was like, well, apparently I've dated some dumb bitches. And I'm like clearly because like pretty like poltergeist and some girl said that was the ring. And I'm like there's First off the differences is 1 girl's coming out the TV and one's going into it. So that's completely unnecessary to miss in that question.

I'm just imagining the pickup line and him just like throwing his arm down at the bar and being like, hey, can you, you know who these guys are? Well, his pickup line was sushi on a Wednesday. Well, first he, well, he came into my bar and he was like, so Nicole, when are you going to be single? And a friend of ours yell. He was behind the bar helping me and the other bartender. And he was like, she's gone through a divorce right now.

And I looked at him. I'm like, really, bro, I'm up here just trying to be a little hoe and enjoy this like, single mom life and like, just go get what I want and go back home, you know? And he was like, oh, really? He's like, so not, what are you doing when you get off? He's like, what about sushi on a Wednesday? I was like, I'll think about it. He's like, OK, so he leaves and he comes back and he's like, all right. He asked me like 3 times and finally I was like, all right,

one sushi date. And I pinky promised him. And he, like, he didn't know I had kids. And I didn't really know he had kids. And so we pinky promise. He's like, you know, you can't break a pinky promise. I was like, oh, I know those things are sacred. And so we pinky promised on it. And then he that night, he ended up losing his his car keys or something. And they get homes like super late. And I was like, what do I text him like? And so I just text him. I was like, I made a pinky promise.

And so we went our sushi date. And that's I think I've given him way more than one sushi date. Sushi's my favorite, and if anybody says that to me, I'm coming. I'm going to go with you for the sushi day. So what you bartended? Were you nursing and bartending? Yes. I used to nurse Monday through Friday, and then I bartended Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday night, and I nursed. I was a nurse from 7:00 to 3:00

or like 8 to 4 doing wound care. I could kind of as long as I was there in the morning. And in my 8 hours I was good. So bartending was from like 9:00 PM till 5:00 AM. So Thursday night, all the way through Saturday morning, I was pretty much awake for like 2 days straight. And then I'd sleep all day, Saturday and Sunday, and then I go to work Sunday night and stay awake all the way through my Monday shift. So it was just like and I don't know how I did it. And I look back now I'm like, I

can barely stay up past 11:00. How did I do three days a week, just no sleep? Did you have a good support system as a mom for getting help with your kids and stuff while you were working that hard? So my mom, my mom's been awesome. She's always helped with the boys. The my younger one's dad is the one I was with when I was doing, being, doing nursing and barsending. He had gotten a day job, but if one of the kids got sick, he couldn't take off work.

So I had to take off work and his check was only coming out to basically what daycare was. So I was like, dude, just stay home. I was like, it's really costing us money now because if I got to take off work, take care of the kids because they're sick and for daycare, and then if your check is just covering daycare and your lunches and really you're just getting up and going to work for no reason.

So him like just kind of accepting the fact that like just go sit over there to take care of the kids while I go do. This was pretty much kind of how it was for like the year and a half I was with him. So you were only married for a year and a half? I don't even think we were married a year and a half a year. So it just didn't work and you just kind of knew it wasn't working well. I mean, we have.

To get with low white, yeah, I mean there's a bunch of things that came along the way, but we are at a good place now and we have a kid together and he knows like, that's number one priority. So and of course it worked out for the better because I like have my like twin flame with me now. So and we're like super happy and living my best life with my best friend every day, so. So I want to touch on. I know. Little White strapping a new album. Yep. And I know that you've been

talking about like. He needs to finish this album, he needs to go to the studio, he tell him to drop the album. So is that something that's already ready to go or there's still more things to do on it? So the entire album was done, they just got to get it mastered so that it sounds amazing, Everybody's system and on their base and all that cool stuff that everybody loves about new music, but other than that, it's all they're waiting on. All the songs are done.

Has to sound good, like all those people. Like with that new music. Yeah he was playing one in the car earlier. I was like, I feel like my chest was being sucked into the back seat and he was like good. That's what we want. And I'm like, well, OK, next song can we go suck and breathe. So but there's some it's a everybody's going to love the album. It's so awesome and they've they've really taken their time on it and it's something that both him and Just In Time have

truly enjoyed doing. The whole process. Like the two of them working together in the studio, they're actually, they remind me a lot of white and Jelly working together when they did. No filter, no filter too. They just kind of really play off of each other and there's like it's just a cool, super smooth like awesome vibe they

have when they're together. So I'm like as long as y'all are happy, just record what you can do and however y'all want to do it and it's turned into an awesome album. I feel like White does really well with collaborations because no filter one is my favorite, but I really feel like he does well with that collaborative energy and that's probably why YouTube work. In such a collaborative way, Because when people are good at collaborating, you just get

further. When you have your dream team and you have people like Gemini and myself, like we literally met because she found me from Bunny's podcast. Like, that's How I Met Gemini. So I was like, the one thing that I have in common with both of you is that Bunny brought both of you into my life. And it's just such a synchronistic event when you can find people who genuinely support your dreams and can. Build those dreams together well, that people with positive vibes attract people with

positive vibes. And if bunny's not a positive vibe, like I don't know what you're looking for cuz I think if you look up positive vibes in the dictionary, her pictures like right there. So she's all, she's one of the biggest building positivity and like motivational person that I've ever met. And it takes a lot for me to just really be like, you know what? They are doing their thing. They're super motivational. And Bunny's literally been the exact same person from day one

when I met her. And even just when Jelly first told us about her and that he was like, I'm going to marry her, you could just The look he had in his eyes on that day is the same look he has today when he looks at her. It's such a beautiful love story. It gives me code chills because if anybody really knows them on a personal level, like it doesn't matter what the Internet says or what people think about their relationship like, it is

so genuine. And almost every time I do readings for her, she's always like, how's Jay? What's Jay doing? What can we talk about him like? She always wants to talk about him. And I actually back in December of last year predicted that he would win like two or three awards this year that they didn't see coming. So when he went to the CMA's and like won those awards, I was like, holy shit, Like, that's so

crazy that I predicted that. Like, you know, I we always talk about like how some people do things for clout and some people do things genuinely, And I've just always, genuinely had a deep connection with her. So to see them kind of skyrocket into this public eye, it's so beautiful because you can just know that they're not going to switch up. You know what I mean? Like who they are is who they

are. And I. Love how they both bring in so many people and like, promote them and talk about them and just really help other people get off the ground. It's like you don't find many people like that in any industry. No, we just got back from the four shows that 36 open for Jelly and when I can honestly first hand tell you that Bunny and Jelly are still the same Bunny and Jelly that you would have seen on the Internet five, 6-7 years ago as they are.

When you still see them in that show, there's just a huge production team and fire on stage and louder music and new songs. That's the only thing that's changed. They are still 100% the same to the people that I've known since meeting both of them. There was somebody who, because you know Bunny does stuff behind the scenes all the time, but she'll she'll never like publicly say I helped with this or I did this for somebody or

whatever. But somebody was inside of her Facebook section a couple of months ago and they posted a go fund me. And they were like, you know, I I don't know what health condition they had, but they had something going on and they were just talking about it in the comments. But they weren't asking her for help on anything. They were talking to somebody else. And she ended up commenting and was like, reach out to me, you know, whatever.

And then I went and looked at the go fund me and it had been surpassed by like 20,000 or something like that. And the person was commenting and was like, Oh my gosh, thank you so much. Like you're such an Angel and whatever. And I think it's so beautiful to and so rare to find people in life who are genuinely just good people behind the scenes and want to help heal people and don't expect anything from it and.

And that's that type of energy that she has is like helping impact people in all of these different ways because she's doing things behind the scenes with expecting nothing back from it. And then, you know, by being authentically who she is. I found her from way when she first was starting the podcast, before she started it, and then she started the podcast and she had Paige on. And I started following Paige because of the podcast and then.

Booked a reading with her and had this whole like like I literally spent like my last $100 on a reading and did a free reading and then did that one and I had this like crazy death experience and she gave me all of this advice of like how I was going to use my voice and turn this like situation into something. So I started my own brand and podcast off of that, and then she and I became friends and started this podcast and like we it's.

Started off with who do you want to start a podcast together? Her asking me. And then it's become this whole fucking brand. And I get to, you know, have that connection now, meeting you and other people through it. And I just, you know, if Bunny hadn't been out here just living her life authentically, I wouldn't have found Paige, I wouldn't have found you. And I'm just super grateful for that. Just like Circle of Energy.

I love it. I waited to get my first reading from Page. When I got to, like, hug her in person, I was like, all right, I want her to feel me. And it was like, as soon as we hugged, you could just tell like, Oh yeah, this is it. We're friends for life now. And then I got my reading and I told her I was like, I wanted to wait so you could like, like, physically feel my energy on top of mentally and spiritually feeling it too. And when she did that reading, I was like, holy shit balls, This

reading is awesome. My favorite part, We were at the Nashville show and this was like, right when Need a Favor just dropped that weekend and everyone around was like, this is going to be the biggest song of Jelly's career. And we're all just shooting the shit. And then Little White walks up and I see, I didn't see Nicole yet, but everyone was like Little White. And I was like, Oh my gosh, there's Nicole. Like, I just like. So I didn't even say a word to

him. I think it's strange when people approach people's husbands without, like, acknowledging their wife first. That's just not my vibe. But I was like, Oh my God, Southern. It's like a Southern thing for us. I think it's like you've got like like you always take the woman's order fires at a restaurant. You always introduce yourself to one like, so I've got to remind myself when we're other cities too, I'm like, all right, we're not, but we're not in the Bible built anymore.

I got to like, remember we're in a whole different part of the United States. I'm not Southern, but I want to hit on your wife. Not everyone has etiquette, like when it comes to that. And so, like, everyone around me was like little white and freaking out. And then I just like stepped to the side and it was just like me and Nicole and we were just vibing and like and it was so

cool because. Seeing all of his friends come in for that and just seeing all of us there and we were all like, you know, just having a good time and genuine support, it just really motivates me to just be the best person that I can be. Like that's what we want our podcast to be, is just to motivate people to be themselves, to be authentic, to be unique. And I really love that you all have started this like.

Health journey and like the sobriety journey, because I've just learned so much of being sober and just taking my power back from, you know, those vices, it really opens the doors to so many like amazing experiences. Because you know, alcohol just lowers our vibration, keeps us in a lower state of operating in a lower energy field. And I can just tell there is just something so different about you lately and like most of your post instead of like.

Like you said earlier, explaining yourself, you're kind of just like, fuck you all, like support me or not, I'm looking hot today. You're going to like it. And I've noticed like the interaction on your post have like really elevated as well. Like a lot of support coming in. And I think that's what's really cool about the Internet is it's not all bad. You know we meet a lot of amazing people through the Internet that we otherwise wouldn't be able to meet. We.

So the biggest thing that a lot of people realize is, and this is what I've reminded my husband, he's reminding me too is like alcohol does or any vice does numb a lot of the bad. But the more you numb the bad, you're numbing good stuff too. So it's like you got to figure out like okay, I'm instead of dealing with stuff, you're numbing it, but you're also numbing any other positivity around it as well or any other good stuff or good times or stuff like that.

So it actually has been like super easy for us. Like everyone's like I know it's hard and I'm like, I don't know, I think we just both of us being ready and doing it together. It's just it's just us now. It's so like only how to explain it was just like it felt like it happened overnight for us. Well, and that's dope too, to be able to. Not a lot of people like each other when they're sober and because. Alcohol numbs you out then It also changes your emotional reactions to things too.

And so you're not genuinely feeling. I feel like you're not genuinely feeling emotions that you think you're feeling, which is why people will get, like, so angry or they'll cry or whatever, just like because they're drinking. And there are a lot of people that I met when I was drinking that I didn't let or, you know, doing drugs in general that I didn't. Something like when I got sober and especially like dating people like I remember.

Taking Xanax when I was dating this one guy just because he had weak Dick game and it was easier to like it if I was hooked up on Xanax. We were walking to the airport 2 weekends ago is we're leaving the California shows and he literally just stopped like in the middle of terminal. I was like what? He goes. I can feel my feelings and I was like he's like not like. I can feel it like he was like, he's like, I'm happy and like I

know what happiness feels like. And he's like, and I'm thankful because they like the three six. Angeli handed him his flowers hundreds of times over these four shows and just was like, like and told him how proud he was. Everybody around him has told him how proud he is. So he was like, we were literally on the way home and he was just like, explain to me what being thankful feels like and how it feels to actually feel happiness. And I was like, I'm so proud of you.

I was like, now I feel like we're going to miss our flight. So just keep that feeling and let's get down this terminal. That was like, I was like a really proud moment too, because I like for him to just feel, I guess it's like what he did, he just like, it hit him like a ton of bricks. He's like, I can feel and it kind of threw me off for a second because I'm like, we're in the middle of an airport.

I was like, but I guess it doesn't really matter your environment, when your body's and your mind's ready and it's starting to like and he does stuff every couple of days, like he'll realize stuff and he's like, I am firing on all cylinders, let's go. I can do this like I like this like so. And even our kids are like, he'll say something and they're like, well, you didn't say that and he's like, y'all, I was sober when I said it.

So I remember when I said it and I was just like, so like even our kids like are like they'll do little things to like and be like, OK, y'all staying on track. So like they're our biggest supporters of all of it. Like they tell us every other day or so. Like, we're so proud of y'all. I'm so proud of you all because getting sober is not supported. Like, it's very much frowned upon for like from like, the people from your past, you know?

I know when I got sober. I'll have four years sober in December from just like, all hard drugs and just extracurricular activities. And I remember whenever it got to the point that I would drink alone, that's when I knew I had a problem. Like drinking wine alone. And, you know, going through a bottle of wine a day. It never seemed like a problem when I was out at the party. But then when you literally have to. Set with yourself and you can only be fucked up when you do

that. Like you don't want to be sober and alone. That's when I was like we got to draw the line here. Like this is getting out of hand. And what's really interesting for me is, you know, fentanyl has taken over the last like 4 years right before. When I got sober, fentanyl wasn't a thing yet. Like, it hadn't hit the streets yet. So I know that it was like divine protection and intervention at that moment,

that that's when I got sober. And what's really ironic about it is I had moved into a house that was like 20 years old, so I didn't think anybody would have died in my house. I mean, it's only 20 years old. A girl had overdosed and died here in my house and I'm like, she was talking to me like she helped me get sober because there was like, this, like level of disgust that I started feeling towards myself of like, why do you do that? Like, that's just not you.

It takes away those good things that you were talking about and it's like. Only when you're tired of your own shit are you going to make a change. But having people who support that change is so important. But I just found I had to drop most of those people because it's those people still doing the same shit every day. Yeah, it's but we've well, we kind of just support like so

we're always together every day. But him being going to rehab for them 30 days and then me being at home, like we I had a couple friends like of both of ours that would call and check on both of us every day, though. Did you talk to him today? Did you get out of bed today? You're not just. And of course the kids were going to let me lay in bed and be depressed or anything so I'd get up and make the bed and they're like, I'm not. I was like, no, I'm up.

I got dressed. I'm not just smoking around the house. I got stuff to do and we had just moved. So we had boxes, we had pictures to hang up. We still had so much unpacking to do. So I was like, I think our garage was like completely full of stuff. And when he got home there's like, I think there's still like 10 boxes out there. He was like you've been working. I mowed the yard, which I found out once he got home that had I

been pulling the other lever. It was self prepared, self-propelled, and I've been pushing this mower of this giant hill and he was like, oh, you really did work hard. I was like I didn't know what that that thing was for. I didn't know what brawl for me if I pulled that little button. I'd have had to fucking YouTube how to use a lawn mower because that's not what I'm doing. That's not my skill set. I've never cut grass, You all, and I'm at this point in my

life. I would pay someone to cut the grass if it needed to be done cutting grass. You can lose fingers and I'm not. I'm not with them. Dangerous. So. On your spiritual journey, do you feel like you are awakening to new parts of yourself that you didn't even understand before with sobriety? Because I know being sober is an awakening in itself because some for some people it's a rude awakening and for some people

it's invited. But I feel like you're really embracing this journey and you're seeing all of that growth. So do you feel like you're uncovering new things about yourself that you didn't know before? I think the biggest thing I've realized is I'm accepting of myself a lot more. And because you know you for the most part, you know yourself throughout your life and I'm still healing something in

center. Note say I know myself all the way deep down, but I think the first step I've taken is accepting who I am and the things that I don't like about myself and being okay with them and and just being more open and not holding stuff in because I was really bad about like a bottled up control freak. Like if you don't do it my way, instead of just saying how why I wanted it done that way, I just

go and do it myself. And I hold everything in And I've had to learn to like let go of some responsibilities so that I don't bottle up feelings that really aren't necessary to bottle up just because I want to make sure it's done my way. So I'm accepting more. Accepting of myself so far. I would be willing to take tips on that fucking lesson because I have a really hard time with that. It's bad. I wouldn't.

I like, I just now started letting the kids into the dishwasher because I was like it. The kids can help. I'm like, but I don't know where I want the dishes put yet. So I'm trying to figure out the system I like. He's like, well, you need to figure out your system and give the kids some chores. You don't have to do everything. And I'm like, all right, fine, I know I want this stuff in this cabinet, like literally as

little as stuff like that. I just, I want everything done the way I want it. My husband had to learn how to make the bed again. When he got home, he was like, this is what we're doing. He was like, we're like hotel style, folding our bed every day. I was like, Yep, this is what we're. No, I learned from a very successful person who has been in the corporate world for a really long time.

They told me that the rule to success is to make your bed every morning because if you make your bed, you won't get back into it. And before you've even really got going for the day, you've already completed a chore or a task. And they also said that it it's very inviting when you come to get back in your bed and you have to undo it and you know, fix the pillows or whatever. But they said the number one rule to be in a successful person is to make your bed every day.

And so when they told me that a few years ago. I never made my bed previous. Like my bed was always a mess. I sleep with a lot of pillows. It was always a mess. But now I literally make my bed every morning, even like, I start the coffee and then I go back to make the bed. So then by the time I'm done, I have coffee. But it's really amazing, like the how those simple tasks will change the tone of your whole day.

And I just love that. You know, as you're growing, you're realizing new things that make you happy or that make you feel like. Peace. And I think that's what this is really all about. Like the spiritual journey is about peace and harmony, because the world just profits from our unhappiness, whether we're using alcohol or drugs or, you know, plastic surgeries or whatever it is they're profiting from people being unhappy.

And the most rebellious thing we can do as humans is to love ourselves and to accept ourselves. And I think that that's wonderful because drugs and alcohol. Became such a part of my personality that I didn't know who I was either. You know? Like, I didn't know I had all of these amazing spiritual gifts. Like, I knew I knew when people were lying. I knew I knew when people were bullshitting me, but I didn't know I could turn this into something that actually helped other people.

So I just love that. That's so wonderful. I think the biggest illusion about giving up drinking and drugs and stuff is like, you're still in that moment having fun and the people around you love you. They're like, oh, Nicole's awesome. Oh, White's awesome. Like they always have fun and like, it's so it's not really so much that people didn't like being around us, but we were getting lost in the illusion that it was okay to be loved under those conditions all the

time. So me being at home and him being in rehab, and that was also the longest time we've ever been apart from each other. Like, it was like like the weirdest thing. But then we also realized how connected we were because we have the same dreams at night. He would be going to call me and I'd be picking up my phone to see if I'd missed this call. Like, so we learned a lot about ourselves individually, but also about ourselves together. Like it was like, it was so refreshing all night.

It was just and then all the people that have our backs like knowing that we're still that fun loving goofy couple sober is like I know that was his biggest fear. Of course man I'm over here and I'm like if they I was like they wanted Nicole to do this, well this Nicole's a bitch so y'all get ready. I'm still funny and goofy but now I just my I don't give a fuck.

It's like turned all the way up. Like my filter is extra on point now, like, but everybody's really just been so positive and motivational and encouraging to him that it's helping him a lot. Because I mean, he's been known as the party animal 36, Mafia's party animal for 20 plus years. So it's like he had to take his switch and completely turn it all the way down. It's like it was more scary for him and for me. I'm like, come on, let's just do it. Like who? Fuck them folks.

Let's see what happens. So. And it's like a new beginning too, and like a chance for people to. Get to know and love somebody who is taking care of themselves and who is coming from a healthier mindset. And you really get to see the people who are rocking with you for you and all versions of who you're coming as. Because people can like that, you know, you're you're the drunk person or the person that's fucked up or whatever and and.

Numbed out and that they can disrespect you where they can take advantage of you or pull the wool over your eyes in some type of way. And if you do have any type of like. I personally think when you're walking through the airport and you have those like amplified feelings and things like that, a big part of that is being your

own intuitive person. And there's so many bodies inside of an airport and there's anxiety and there's fear and there's excitement about going and seeing people and you can feed off of those things. So if you're doing that where you're not numbed out, you're getting to amplify that and turn it into something positive instead of something that's

like. Really negative. Something I've always told my husband because he doesn't like flying and he's the person who's like, give me a Valium because I have to fly. And I'm like really scared of it. And I'm like, all that you're doing is making yourself more susceptible to the energy of other people scared around you. And then now you're just going to be having a panic attack the whole fucking time because you're open to all this different energy.

Oh, yeah, That was the first time for both of us flying sober too. Like, because normally I would even call my doctor, like, all right, I got to fly and he'll call me in like a number of Valium for each flight I got to take or whatnot. So I'm chilling. Like we both were on there, just sober. The same, I done bit a hole hole in my lip. I'm like, so I'm playing. He's like, what? And I was like, are we landing yet? He was like, calm down. I'm like, I'm doing this.

I got your back. I'm doing this. I'm not ordering no alcohol. I got you. And, like, he like, so he got me a crossword puzzle book thing. And then I started reading and he was like, don't forget your book. And I'm like, all right, why are you doing better at this? To me, like, I'm the one that has your back. So it's been a couple like situations like that where we both have had each other's back and it's just like, all right, this works.

I think I'm being over. Illuminates so many amazing parts of ourselves that we didn't even realize we're there. And I feel like you're all support for one another has only gotten stronger through this. And I think that's wonderful because that shows like that's what people see and that's the type of energy like that you want to show the world. Like this is who we really are. And I mean. Just going back to like what I said earlier, like hearing his

song at 11 years old. I didn't smoke, but my smoking song was my shit. That was my jam. But like looking back on that, like if you would have told 11 year old me listening to that on a literal Walkman that 20 years in the future we would be here, Little White would be sober, we would have his amazing hot wife on the podcast, or even that I would have a podcast because that didn't exist yet.

It's just like. When you get out of your own way, the universe has this amazing route for you, you know? And I think drugs and alcohol, they just slow us down on our path. Like you're going to get there. It's just going to take you a lot longer. Do you feel like he's making better music now than he's ever made? So he acts so the songs for the album actually already dropped. I think he's dropped.

He's done a like two or three verses since he's been sober, and you can tell it's like a different sound and different perspective, but he hasn't really just opened up that part yet. Like, he still does things for other artists when they get a verse from him on their song, but as far as they're finishing up this project. So it'll it'll be a a new thing to watch him work on his next solo project with this new mind frame to see where he goes.

But even the way he talks about things and then stuff he talks about, you could already tell his gears are completely shifted in a different perspective of everything. He'll be super successful with it either fucking way. I mean, I think so, but I'm slightly biased. A little bit so. So what's coming next for you and like what you have going? I don't know, it's so weird.

So the name that rap guy's wife, people talking all the time like well why don't, why do you want to just be that rap guy's wife? And I'm just like, I'm just a behind the scenes person. Anyways, I just got his back. So like lately everybody people keep asking me to do a podcast Like this is the first one I've ever done that by myself without just me being his addon. And like, I hate the way my voice sounds on recordings. And then like, I do so much other stuff.

I make excuses for myself. I'm like, well, if you do a podcast, everyone else is already doing a podcast and then you got to add in the extra work of editing it and recording it. And then you start with all the doubt questions. So I'm just kind of slowly just seeing where it takes us. Like I think we should totally get go pros in the car and call it Caddy fever. And because all the stuff we talked about on the road, like, we are like stupid, funny when we're on the road going somewhere.

Like we make up stories about the cars that drive past us. Like like some guy will forget to use his blinker. And I'm like come on Pat Paul. And I'm like, Oh well she's sitting over there. She was giving him Rd. head. He wouldn't even know that. I could see why he didn't use his blinker. And they're like, well, no they just left their son's house and he dropped out of call.

Like we just keep going and going and just make up these random stories about people and like and it's I think it would be like one of the funniest things in the world. But then I'm over here. Like how do you do that? Do you just record the whole thing? So like, it's just a courage thing I guess, cuz I know I can do it. I was able to figure out the link to get on here with y'all, so I could probably figure how to do all that. You could totally do both.

When we're done recording, we'll I'll message you in the group chat that we have because we could totally help you with like easily. Like we use a platform for recording and editing the podcast and it's all in one spot. And then also, yeah, if you record the whole thing. And there's this app called Inshot. And you can break down your your video, cut it up, you can put in transitions in there. It's all free. You can post that wherever you want to. Like you could totally get your

own shit going. And then you could use your vlog as your promo for your podcast. See, and the other thing that everybody's been asking to do is a cooking show. So, But the other thing we used to do is we would drink and cook and it would just turn this whole comedy show. And I'm just like when you're still cooking me funny.

So we're kind of debating if like how to go back towards that because it's just a lot of our goofy stuff was us cooking and having a good buzz and just being just super silly while making them freaking 5 course meal, so. Yeah, I was going to say, I think that this is an adjustment. Like, you know, it's super fresh. It's only a couple months, like once you get your feet on the ground and this becomes like who

you are now. Because when you first get sober, there's always those thoughts of like, what if I relapse? What if I go back? What if I accidentally? Take a drink or you know what I mean? There, there are those intrusive thoughts. So I would just say, like, for anyone listening that wants to get sober or especially sober,

like those go away eventually. Like now I actually make fun of that version of me that like used to do drugs and like think that it was normal or even just think that it was like sustainable. I think that's the great thing about drugs and alcohol is that people think that's a sustainable lifestyle. And my dad said it best. Like when does the party end like? One day you got to wake up and be like, enough is enough. And when he said that to me, I was young, I was like 15.

It didn't make sense. But then, you know, at 27, whenever I finally was like, I'm going to break away from this lifestyle, I would have the most intrusive thoughts about, like. Well, what if someone has it? Or what if you go to their house and they offer it to you? Or what if you go here and you know what I mean? Like you don't know and a part of you feels not ready to like say, this is a forever choice, right? Because you don't know.

And there's so many things that can change, especially with being exposed to the music industry. People just drink and do drugs. It's super acceptable. It's super normal. So I think that shows a lot of strength on Y'all's end because being completely exposed to it, kind of like with Bunny, she's exposed to a lot of things that like, it doesn't mean you have to do those things, you know, just because they're there doesn't mean that's you anymore.

So I think that once you all continue on this path and really have that strong foundation, like once you hit six months of something, nobody can tell me shit like six months in the gym, six months working out, you know, like you start seeing changes, right? Or, you know, 6. Months in sobriety, like you'll start seeing like a mental change, a spiritual change of physical change. And once you hit those miles milestones, like no one can tell

you shit. And I feel like you'll definitely start a podcast because I love your voice. I feel like it's really deep and it's stubborn and I think it's like very different than any voice that I've heard and seeing you out. Out in the world is like such a wonderful thing because, you know, you don't even know what you are here to offer the world yet. You know what I mean? Like, you've been a mother, you've been a provider, you've been the manager, you've been

behind the scenes. But like, what's the Nicole that comes out on the stage that's like front and center? You know, like, what's that version of you? And that's what I think so beautiful about the journey, is when you trust and you have faith in yourself and in your partner. Magical things happen. Like, no matter what, love it. Well, we are so grateful Jim and I. Do you want to do the My Human design card to wrap us up? I sure the fuck do let me grab it. We will drop everything.

If you all want to go follow Nicole, we're actually going to name this episode That rap guy's wife just because it's like your brand. I think that whole like brand and I just love this collaboration. We are so grateful that you came on our. Podcast like we definitely in the future can't wait till we can record in person and have some boss ass studio. So right now this little makeshift Zoom meeting is really doing us well. But we are so grateful for you.

I loved it. Thank you all so much for having me. You. Are I. Have such a goal. Okay. So I moved into this house. July and I have literally been sitting on the floor in this empty white room in this podcast room because I. Don't know how to create it. So you were my motivation for, like, I finally need to get a couch in here. So I got a couch for my friend and we put it in here today. And my husband's. Like, so you've been super motivated to get this couch in for this interview.

But like, did you know that it looks like a porn couch? And like the it's the fucking vibe. And he's like, I mean Y'all's podcast is lick it like a lollipop. It totally makes sense to have a porn Co. I'm fucking saying y'all pop, Y'all Popped my cherry on lick it like a lollipop while you sat on a porn couch. So like complete circle. Yes, I'm using that as promo, OK.

So the way that the human design deck works is it points out a gift that you have or that you already have or that you're going to be using to help you navigate through situations that you're going through. And then it also points out a shadow. So if you like, we have the full moon going. So if you think about it from like the moon aspect, that's that side that's like illuminated and others are going to be able to see and then that side that's like hidden away. So we got card number 4.

And the card is the bridge, the sign is Leo, the gift is understanding, and your shadow is in tolerance. You will reap the rewards of this gift when you finally let go of the need to control everything with your mind knowing that it cannot be the driving force of your decisions at lower frequency. The mind tricks you into believing that you are always right and the other is at fault without fail. Beyond the mind, by way of higher frequencies, you are able to achieve the objective of

understanding. Human beings are accumulation of events, circumstances and fates. None of our relative perspectives are absolute truth. With that, a world of possibility opens up for you, and the bridge between you and the other illuminates. No longer is reality a complex puzzle to solve. You are able to lean into the calm assurance of your inner guidance system and use your

mind for contemplation and play. When you are leading from this gift, you are able to provide logical reasoning for others at just the right time. And then your shadow is intolerance. Quit the labyrinth, or quite the labyrinth exists within this shadow, which presents as a distorted reality fueled by an unreliable emotional state and mind. The tricky part of this shadow is it's convincing nature. This theme represents a very common experience for humans, especially in earlier years.

A tendency to mistake our every emotion is true, paired with a mind to back it up and provide evidence, however faulty. When lost to this misrepresentation, you might create entire storylines around a situation or event, though only a kernel of truth exists within it. Thus, this shadow outwardly appears as logic, but without the sturdy framework of your sound. In our guidance system, fear and projection become the defense

strategy. This might also manifest as a tendency to provide logical answers all the time. In other words, you may try to answer all questions everyone has versus waiting for the appropriate time and circumstance to arise. Your themes will be logic, understanding, insight and clarity. That was a good one. I think that just hit everything we just talked about, you said. You know, I feel like this is just a full circle moment and my inner child is thriving in this

space like I feel like. I have grown up to be that person that 12 year old me would like really think as cool as hell Just having you at beautiful ladies on here and just like being able to collaborate, it just shows you that like if you get out of your own way. Magic happens and people can be powerful and collaborative and have their own things going, but yet support one another in a really amazing way. So Nicole, thank you so much. We will have all of her information in the description

box. If you want to check her out, go follow her and all of that good stuff. So without further ado, we'll see you next time in Candy Land.