Solo Dolo

Welcome to Fucking Candy Land, hosted by Rampage and Gemini. Welcome back to another episode of Look It Like a Lollipop here in Candyland, Jim and I. It's just me and her tonight, but we have a lot of new people that are going to be coming on

to the podcast, so we're ready. Yeah, we were just joking that everything's an arrow with us because we went when we first started the podcast, had guests, then we're like, fuck, y'all, we're going to be solo and now we're like, actually we have hot bitches and we should invite them on podcast.

So if you're hot and we like you and we just casually scroll by and like your content, you're probably going to get an e-mail from us after we make derogatory sexual comments about you and our text messages and talk about how fucking fine you are and be like nice ass. And then we'll e-mail you very professionally. Honestly, I'm really excited to bring people on to give the podcast like a different perspective and like a little spice. Our last guest that we just had, very spicy.

I feel like I'm just ready to bring on that spice world baby. Like where y'all at come through the woodwork? Well, yeah. And like we're finding a lot of people whose vibe just really aligns with ours. Right now it feels like for a minute we were like, no new friends. We're doing our own thing, we're establishing our own stuff and and figuring out what our energy is together. And now we're super comfortable in that and growing and expanding. You know what I like about that, though?

Is like, it only happens as you're building that you find what's gonna work, what's not gonna work, what you're ready for, what you're not ready for. And I think in the beginning we were still trying to get our flow and, like, be in unison together. So then throwing in extra energies was not ever. Was not about Speaking of throwing in extra energies are yous having selfies of yourself

while we're recording. I was going to get us on video, but then I didn't realize my sound was on and then I had to block someone because they dudes get so salty that if you don't like reply to them then they start saying mean things to get your attention. And so this dude has been in my inbox on Snapchat for like. X amount of time and I just keep leaving him on red. So now his latest and greatest was that my lips are too much as if I give a fuck what his

receiving hairline has to say. He didn't think about that while he was in your inbox trying to get you to put it around his shaft. But I digress. I don't know what his zeal was like well. I don't know why, he thought. That was going to get my attention. Now I just blocked you. Like now you never get any interaction because I'm blocking

you quickly. When you called me earlier, I was in the car with my daughter and we were going to the store and after we got off of that call, she was like, wow, she is so cute. She is my new favoritest friend of yours. And I was like, OK, And then we're walking through the store and she's like, you tell her men are trash. You know, I think that I have no expectation of anyone, and I just want to align with people that it's like, easy to align with them.

You know what I mean? Like I don't want connections that feel forced or connections that feel like there's a lot of pressure or expectations. Like, I just want things that feel like freedom. And like, does it feel at peace to be in your life, or to be friends with you, or to date you, or whatever, and so many people.

People are so used to like chaos and trauma and like living in that energy that like, they don't know what it's like to have a healthy communication with someone who's literally not tripping, that you blew them off or that you had something come up and instead of like reaching out and being like, hey, something came up tonight, I can't do this. People will just avoid the whole conversation and make it something bigger than it needs to be.

And I think that like just being in my own energy, I've learned that like. Like, I need peace. I need freedom in my friendships and in my connection. Like, I don't want someone to think that because I didn't text them for a week that that means I'm mad at them. Those are people, I feel like, who have probably like words of affirmation, love languages, and they'll second guess.

If you're not giving them like lip service and telling them and like checking in with them and making them feel appreciated in that way, I have people who I've noticed recently are their love. Language is like spending time together and I've always thought of that as like a couples thing. But like there are people where like if you're not hanging out with them then they feel like you don't like them or like don't value them or whatever.

And I am so not a come hang out with you type person like I'll sit here, I'll text you, I'll talk to you, I'll FaceTime with you. I don't want to put pants on. I'm going to show up to your house just looking like a bum. I hope that you already have snacks. I'll bring coffees. Like I I don't know. I don't like hanging out in person that much and I am attracting people, people. I am like a wave of both. I really like having no commitments.

So I've been trying to make a pledge to myself to, like, not have something planned every free moment of my life. Like just because, like I have nothing planned doesn't mean I can't go do something. It's just like. I'm finding that when I commit to things way beforehand, that when it boils down to going, I don't want to go. Like I'll know about the event for six months.

And then when it gets to the day, I'm like, no, I really don't want to go. And so I'm trying to give myself, like, wiggle room to just be like, maybe like, I don't know, I I'm thankful that you invited me, but I'm not committed right now. Yeah, well you're in your commitment free era. You don't have to commit to anything dude you like. You just can live your life like a fucking seagull and go and do whatever you want to.

Like you're Oh yeah, no problem. I'll just go ahead and and I'll plan that trip and I'll come visit you and we'll just go do this, that and the other. Like you just have to make sure that your cats are taken care of and then you basically just fly off and go do whatever the fuck you want to. Yeah, it is nice. It is nice to consider anyone else's needs, wants or desires before my own.

And I think that I am kind of in my selfish era and like, I want to build connection with people, but I also do not want to force connection, like, but I'm really cool that like if something happened and we drifted apart but there was no drama, like you can come back into my life and be like, hey, I was really going through something. I want to be friends again. Or I'm sorry that I didn't, you know, speak up or be honest with

you. About something like I'm not holding grudges anymore and I'm definitely not holding people to some like commitment standard. Like I said earlier to someone like we could just be friends and have no expectations and they were like, but that's not what I want. I'm like, I'll just let you know like I'm chill. I'm a chill girl. I like being chill. I don't need to be like zero to 1000 to know someone likes me, and I also don't need. Like zero to 1000.

If someone has a lot going on in their life, I sure as hell don't want me to be above what you already need to be doing. You know, like people who like, get a new relationship and then neglect their priorities, or stop going to the gym, or stop seeing their kid on the weekends or whatever. Like I never want to be that girl that steps into your life and then demands all of your time and attention.

I feel like when it comes to people stepping back into my life, I genuinely AM pretty open about receiving apologies too. Like, especially if people like, even if they have been fucked up, if they can own the fact that, like, I recognize these things and whatever, I'm not going to have open trust of that person. I won't have them in my inner circle of anything. But I would so much rather have something squashed and move forward and be like, OK, cool.

Like if I need to take accountability and anything, I will. You're owning your shit. You're just growing, whatever, recognizing that you hurt somebody else. Like, I'll give the freedom and the space for that. But The thing is that there aren't a lot of people who don't lead with pride in their life and that are open about sharing. If they have like, that growing moment and taking accountability and being like, I'm sorry, like that takes big balls. So if people do that, then I'm

like, OK, cool. And I can agree with that. I do think that there's a space to, like, accept apologies and then still not rock with that person, though. So like the people who have wronged me, there's a slim chance that I'm trying to rock with them again, that I'll take your apology. But I'm thinking like. When you're trying to build new connections with people, people go balls to the wall with the expectations.

You know what I mean? Like me and you met and built a bond long before we dedicated commitment to. Starting a brand or you know, a podcast together, like I feel like that takes commitment. And it's like, are you that committed to your own goals and dreams? Because if you are, then that's a good sign that we could collab

or make, you know, mutual goals. But I think that a lot of people like go somewhere and they expect someone who doesn't take care of their own needs or their own self to like all of a sudden take care of them or nurture them. And it's like maybe if they don't nurture themselves. They sure as hell are not going to know how to nurture you.

So I've recognized that. I've kind of been that person and I've been calling it now like since I've had this break and I've had time to self reflect like the captain, save a home mentality. And we've talked about before, like, if there's somebody who I feel like I could help them with this or like, I see so much potential in this and I want to help them because I see what they could be.

I feel like I put so much energy into trying to help them, like, grow and whatever, instead of being like, hey, you need to put in all of this work before I'm going to step in and like, help with that goal or whatever. And so I feel like that is a big lesson that a lot of people don't ever actually realize and go through. And that's why people will feel

so drained. Because it took me literally taking that three-week break off of my business and being like, no, like I'm just going to focus on like my life and not doing any of that. That I realized and you know, you and I were texting and I'm like, whoa, been putting all the energy into like these things over here that don't even, they're not even my fucking business. They're just trying to help somebody else and causing so

much stress, you know? I think a lot of the time what it is, is like when we were down and out, it would have been nice for someone to reach out and then like, hey, I can help you, I can guide you, I can you know, do this for you. But it's funny that you would mention that cause a close friend of mine attracts a lot of people that want to use him. Like whether it's just like 10-15 dollars here or oh, I really want to go to that concert but I don't have a

ticket. Like it doesn't matter what it is. And he also does that where he's like, oh, I'll pay for it. Oh, I got you. But then it's like people like me, like his. I said, So what do I need to be your broke bestie so you'll pay for my stuff? Like he buys all these people stuff who don't show up for him. And then that drains him so much from actually giving back to the people that he does care about, not that it has to be financially, but energetically.

So last night I guess at like two or three in the morning, one of these. Hoes from the Instagram world called him on Instagram or called his phone and was like, hey, I'm stranded, my car's on E and I don't have any gas, OK, like, OK, so he was like, she was asking if I could give her $3. He was like, so I felt like I should just give her ten, he said. But if she doesn't pay me back, I'm done. I'm like, no, what you need to do is block her.

And I was like, you're acting like captain, save a hoe. Like you need to block this bitch for one. He tried to help her many times, but she keeps doing the dumb shit and then giving him some stories of why her life is a hot mess. And it's like your life is a hot mess because of you. And I literally feel less and less sympathy for people who are grown adults doing nothing to

change their scenario. That's because there are a lot of people who have a really like giving nature and like, we can talk shit about like, I like, I can say I don't like humans and whatever, you know, all day long and that people are selfish. But at the end of the day, there are a lot of people who are really giving, like nurturing people and will give from themselves to the point that they don't have something because they want to see those around them like be better.

And I feel like at the root of that is a lot of like people pleasing trauma. And I think that like our generation and especially right before us went through the being very guilted about every little thing. And you have this because I've done this or done that. And so it makes people want to be like, I don't want to see anybody else go through that. So I'm going to fix this thing.

And that correlates back to what you said about like helping people out like business wise, brand wise, whatever, because we wish that there would have just been somebody who would like taken our hand and helped us. But at the end of the day, there really wasn't and we didn't have that. And, you know, I think that we do a lot more than that than was given to us, but it also doesn't mean that it's like our personal responsibility to put in the work for everybody else.

Honestly, that's like the biggest trauma response is to try to like support people in ways that you wanted to be supported. And I see that all of the time. I've had clients come to me recently and there's like people putting all these burdens on to them or expectations on to them and making it feel like it's their responsibility to fix this issue. And I'm just like the only people I really have sympathy for is like children and animals. Like I'm sick of grown 20304050

year old people. Acting like a child that needs to be coddled and told what to do, but then when you tell them what to do and how to do it, they don't want to do that. You're being aggressive, you're being mean. You know you're expecting them to show up and they don't want to show up. And that's what is so difficult when you're growing and healing is like, where do you draw the line like between being? Kind of cold or like turned off

by that. Or getting into that savior complex where you feel like you need to save people and help people. Or it's like bad karma for you or like. And what is this teaching me? You know, a lot of us have sole ties with people and we don't realize why. We don't realize why this person's in our life. And a lot of time it's so you can hold firm on your boundaries and you can say no, even when it's hard to do that, even when it's difficult to have those

conversations. Like that's a part of your sole tie is to stand up to that person. Yeah, absolutely. And then 'cause it teaches you, like, certain values that you're supposed to have inside of your life and like, certain strengths to have. I think that one of our soul ties, you and I, is you're helping me expand with communication because I don't have anxiety from podcast conversations anymore.

I used to have them really bad, even when I did Coven, and then it was especially difficult when it was you and I Co hosting something, especially the first round of us doing guests. And I don't have anxiety or nervousness about when we film the podcast anymore. I'm not nervous about us having guests or speaking or or whatever. And that's something I think that you've helped me a lot with, is being confident in communication.

And also for some reason, because I think it's just because like, I am like an assertive communicator and a lot of things. But like direct assertiveness where I feel like I'm going to let somebody down or like disappoint them or something has always been an issue for me. And that is your strength where you'll be like, we're not doing that tonight, that's really not Gemini 6. So we're going to reschedule that or like whatever it is

you're like, this is the point. And so I'm more comfortable speaking those things for myself now, too. And let's just say Gemini has been emailing so many amazing guests from Tiktok and Instagram. Like, we have some really boss people coming onto the podcast. And what's really cool is like we've been networking so much that we're like shocked at how quickly people are replying and

committing and scheduling dates. And we have several people already scheduled coming up. So I'm really looking forward to like. Bringing in more dynamic energy and bringing in people who are in their own arena, their own spotlight, their own creativity, whatever journey that they're on and being able to. Talk to them in a way that channels that into like their true expression. Cause a lot of people bring you on their podcast and they like

wanna talk about certain things. But I feel like giving people an open mic to like share their journey and their story. The good, the bad, the ugly. It's like really nice and refreshing and I'm like it's crazy because it's like so many people are somewhere open to it than you would expect if you shoot your shot. A lot of people are like. They feel honored that we ask them, right? Like, they feel honored that we're inviting them. And, like, I feel honored that they're even reading our

messages. So yeah, there's some we get an e-mail back from like, Oh my God, did you just see that? That person just emailed us back. Like, I can't even believe this is like, we're so excited And I don't know. I really feel like there's some shit that we have. I keep seeing signs of Aaron every time that we make a big move. And I don't know if that's something that you've been

seeing also. But I will like all of a sudden there will be like an Aaron video pop up on my TikTok or there will be something on Instagram or there'll be the candy song in the car or just something like super every single time. And I feel like because we we're doing things from such like a genuine space of like we want to

talk about like the positive. Our whole aim has been we don't want to talk to the people with traumatic histories about their traumatic histories because that's what everybody else is doing. We want to talk about all the other amazing things that this person doesn't get to share about. And that's what we wanted to do with him. And I feel like he's bringing us almost like these guests that we can live out that purpose with,

that we couldn't live out with. Yeah, I mean, I've really been feeling like his energy a lot, 'cause it was like the anniversary of his death. But I also just feel like it's just super significant because we've been growing and elevating and like even though there's been obstacles and roadblocks and setbacks and like things like that, it's like there's always another day to try again. And I think with like Aaron, you know, he had so much to offer the world.

We're all talking about Aaron Carter. So you all know, but Aaron Carter had a lot to offer the world, but drugs and negative people and his environment and, you know, trauma and things that he had really been consuming were overtaking him. But, you know, I think that as we grow and as we elevate, there's going to be an opportunity for that, I think to come full circle, like you said.

But also like we never saw it as like, damn, we missed our publicity shot or we missed our shot like, we saw it as like, wow, this man really was in pain. He really was hurting. The people around him were not good for him. Like you cannot tell me that this man drowned in the bathtub with all his clothes on. I'm sorry. Like people put you in the bathtub when you're overdosing or when they've done something

to you. Like any celebrity that was found in the bathtub with their clothes on did not kill themselves. We specifically didn't do anything for publicity like it took us, it took him passing away. For us to be like we were going to have him on the podcast and like this was going to be a thing and and. Yeah, it is different for us because we waited so long to have him on, because we wanted to have him on talking about his healings and his inspirations.

We didn't want him having baby Mama drama and custody things and. And all that like difficult stuff that he was going through and we've even I mean we have a lot of new listeners here. But like we've even called out people in the past who there were so many mediums on TikTok and stuff after he passed that were like I'm I'm channeling him and reading his family and this is everything you know, whatever

and. Anyways, I just think that his hand is on. So there's so much now that we're gonna be getting to do in ways that we're gonna get to expand with guests that he would have been the OG person we would have done that with. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it, 'cause I feel like right now we like, went through a lot of changes.

I feel like we've aired out, had a lot of closure with things that have happened with us, and just like putting that energy out there and letting it go. I think we both learn like how draining the wrong people in our life or in our communities can truly be. A lot of people do not know boundaries. They get into a spiritual community or really any type of community and their spirit is there to divide, to create opposing forces and cycles. And I feel like we've just really been tested.

And there's been a lot of times that, you know, we've both been really busy, but we've made time for the podcast. And I feel like getting the guest is like the next era, the next chapter of our podcast. And I feel like, you know, we've already overcome the hurdle. Like most podcasts don't make it past 10 episodes with their original creators. So it's like we're already defying odds.

And I'm just really excited for like what 2024 is gonna bring for us. 2024 is going to be on and fucking popping, and we've already been saying that for like you and I have known that 2024 is going to be the year. And I feel like this year was the year of like, experiencing the bullshit, learning lessons of it, and figuring out how to navigate and what types of people to spend our energy with. We got rid of a lot of fucking snakes and our lawn looks lovely now.

And now we can, like, move forward. Yeah, I think I see a lot of things online. It's like you have to prepare your circle for what you're asking for. Like, not a lot of those people can go to the next chapter with you. So as long as they have access to the front row, you can't go there. Like, you're giving the wrong people backstage all access passes. And they need to stay out in the crowd and be in the Nosebleed, you know what I mean? Like, they can watch, but they

need to watch from a distance. And I've just been seeing so many people, like starting to follow their dreams or starting to feel inspired and like, follow that same thing. And I think we're just all on this wave of life where letting go is the only way to become who you're meant to become. Oh, letting go is the only way to become who you're meant to become. I really love that. I think that's beautiful. And and.

And that's something so freeing that you can repeat to yourself in times when you're feeling really anxious or overwhelmed and needing to be like what is my You just need like a mind shift sometimes. And like a What am I doing this for? Yeah, I think as long as you know your why, you don't really need to know the how, when, where or what. As long as you know your why. Like, I just want to be happy and at peace. Like that's my why. Like, that's why I do what I do.

That's why I entertain what I entertain. You know, when I let things go, I don't see this as like an opposing force to me. It's just like, that's not in alignment with me. You know, some people ask me, like, why do you give people more than one chance? Or like, why do you do this? Why do you do that? And it's not that I'm giving them more than one chance. It's just that I'm not taking their actions personally. I'm letting them be themselves. I'm letting them to get down,

fall, get back up, whatever. But you know, the worst thing you could do is be around people that watch you fall, get back up, dust yourself off and they try to push you back down. And that's. Most. I also think that, you know, when we're talking about having boundaries and things, I think that it needs to be balanced out with grace because there are people who treat others like. Poorly, but it's because they genuinely are really struggling themselves. And they're not bad people.

They're just overwhelmed with what they have going on. And we've all been those people too. And like, sure, there's some friendships that like all of us lose along the way and we're like, fuck, like that's the friend that got away. Like, I really fucked that up. But we also all have friendships in our life where we probably weren't the best person to that person, and they had to give us forgiveness and be able to move. Move on and be able to evolve

too. So I I think that there needs to be a really clear balance though, because I for a long time was overly forgiving about things and being like you just had a really hard time and that's OK. And you can overly make excuses for somebody to also be shitty. I say one time, I say, and it depends on the situation, but. I will give you a chance if I see that you were really struggling and that you take accountability and and come back whatever. But you have to like, earn that.

And then if that's broken, I'll just never fucking speak to you again my whole life. I don't know, maybe I'm talking like more casual interaction, not like people that I felt like I was vulnerable or open to, you know what I mean? But like, a lot of people would just be like, oh, they didn't text me, they didn't tell me happy birthday. They didn't tell me Happy Easter. Fuck them. You know, Like, I just don't take little shit like that to the cleaners, like to the bank,

like in cash. Why would you have? Expectations on people like that that aren't. Close people inside of your space. If I fucking meet you at Starbucks and you get my number and then you text me three times and I don't respond because like I didn't have my phone while I was pooping or something, like I'm blocking your number and I will never go to that Starbucks again, you're fucking weird. I don't know.

I just feel like so many people are like living in the cut off era where they just cut people off over the dumbest shit and it's just like it's not personal. Like people get overwhelmed and they're in their own world and it's not personal. It's not directed towards you. And I think I just try to give people more grace. I mean if you're running around like don't tell Paige this or I did this to Paige or you know, like fuck you, like fuck you,

you're not cool. But if you're just like living in your own world and, you know, make plans and like forget we had plans or just like goofy stuff, like it's different that people are like I'm on the way and then they don't show up, Like that's different. Like, don't say you're going to do something, but also like, I'm cool with plans change. I guess I didn't get what you meant, because I just feel like that should be an obvious human expectation.

Understanding. Oh, people would be out here really expecting people they barely know to get them like $50 Christmas presents. Like I was at the nail salon and the other lady that does nails said that her niece sent her a link to a $94.00 watch that her niece's boyfriend wants for the Christmas gathering. She said she's met him twice. I'm you're fucking lucky if I get him a chocolate reindeer for Christmas. I don't know him.

That's what I said. I said, you know, what you need to do is just get like little stockings and like put some candy or something. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I've never in my fucking life even probably received that from my own parent. Like the people's parents who are like, go all out. Like, I'm happy for you all. But like, that's never been a thing in my life. When I was a kid, I had to go to Christmas, says. But as an adult, like, I just buy what I want.

Like, I don't. I don't wait for someone to get it for me, but like, my own family's like, here's some, here's some pajamas in a fucking coffee mug and this other fucker's like, yeah, I really want the new fossil wash waterproof. That's so funny that you say that. My dad texted us last night and said I need to know your Christmas list or everybody's getting Viking drinking horns and pajamas.

And it's funny because when we don't give him Christmas lists, we get Viking drinking horns and pajamas. So I have one. In the podcast room right now. Because those are like actual. Like he'll just be like here's a fucking drinking horn in a pair of pajamas, but you already have one. Yeah, I already have one. He's already gifted. That or like Brian, the other when my parents were just here for Halloween. He was like, you got, he was wearing some pajamas.

They got him last year and he's like, I'm going to need you guys to give me some more pairs of pajamas because these are my favorite ones and I've been wearing them almost every night for a year. So I need a new set. I mean, whatever clothes go, but like, that's my family. They're like here's the bath and body works set that you didn't want. No, I never know what to say. My dad would be like, what do you want? And I'm like. Truly, everything that I want, I

budget for and I get for myself. So like, I'd I'm like, I don't know what to say, Ron. Wants a gift card to a gold and silver shop. That's what you want. That's what Brian wants. He's like, give me a gift card to a gold and silver shop and be like, what did he say? He goes, he goes, just get me, why don't you just for Christmas, why don't you just get me a gift card to the gold and silver shop down there. And when you get that for me, I'll be like, Oh my God, my wife loves me so much.

She knows me and she knew that I would want to go down there and I would want to go and get gold and silver for Christmas. So she got me this gift card because that she just knows me. And all right, I'll do that for you then. She just knows me. You know, I perfectly need some new knives for my kitchen. That's like the only thing I really need and that's what I want. I have a Martha Stewart knife set that's actually pretty nice, but you have to sharpen the fucking knives.

I listen. Maybe I'm just like a spoiled person or something, but growing up, my knives were just always sharp in my mom's kitchen. I didn't realize that like, as an adult, you have to sharpen your own fucking knives. And so I've been like this piece of shit little knife set. Like, fuck you Martha Stewart. But really, it's because I needed to sharpen those knives. And so Brian went in there and sharpens them all. I could fucking decapitate a man

with one swift chop. Yeah, I always end up getting knives that like overtime. They just are like cheap handles or cheap. Like your mother. So I just need a little something to spice up my life. You spice up my life, Polly Pocket with your little razzle dazzle my Christmas tree. I know, it's so pink. For those that are not watching on Patreon because you fucking suck. Paige's Christmas tree is pink. Her little shirt is hot pink. She is living her best Barbie

world. I have a velour jacket on. It's lavender. It's soft. Is that is that a southern pronunciation or a Poly pocket pronunciation? That's Southern, baby. Southern. I can't take you seriously. What? There's so many people in this world that have no clue how draining Christmas can be for someone who's an empath and someone who's sensitive. Because right now there is so much discontent in the world.

Whether it's like you're missing someone, you don't have the money or the funds that you think you need just like so much. And I'm really feeling like so much heavy energy coming from people, clients, friends, family, like just beyond. Like, everyone's really dealing with some shit right now. And it's really important to, like, be nice, hold the door for someone, Give the homeless person $5. It does not matter what they spend it on. Like, just be nice right now.

Because if you have a phone, a home, a car, whatever, you're doing really fucking good. And you need to stop acting like you need to do more. Because right now people are struggling. It gets cold outside, people are sleeping outside. Like, there's just so much going on. And I just feel like it's time to really count those blessings and like, live in gratitude. Find your space in your center to soak in like the littlest

things in life right now. Also too, I feel like having patience with people in the grocery stores right now too. Your go. I went there with my daughter today and we were having a conversation because so many people looked. Really stressed, looked really anxious, were stalling more than usual, looking at like the price of everything and whatever. And she and I were just being super patient, doing what we needed to do.

And I was like, there are people who probably are really stressed out about being able to buy groceries for the holidays, trying to figure out what to do, whatever. And so I was talking to her about like. Budgeting and going in with patients and recognizing what other people are going through. But I think that during the holidays especially, we're like, I just want to get in. I want to get my fucking Turkey, I want to get out and you know,

have everything that I need. And we go about things anxiously and don't think about the experience of those around us and why people are going really slow or, you know, whatever. I think a lot of people are in like, hurry, Like people wait till the last minute to get things too. And like then the grocery store is out of it. I made a pledge to not need to go to the grocery store this week, like get everything I needed.

Last week I went to Sam's. I I like, did the things, 'cause I did not want to deal with that crowd. I just like plan ahead where when you can too. Like if you know that makes you anxious, 'cause it does me. I planned ahead, and I know that's not ideal for everyone, but just think about things like that, you know? Like I personally would rather know what I'm walking into, then go into a fucking clusterfuck and be like, damn, I should have

got this done. I personally don't know how people go grocery shopping without having a fucking list because if you just send me into a store and you're like, you need to get food to feed you guys this week, I'm like, OK. But so I have to go in with a list, because then I can be like do, do, do, do, do. And then I'm not annoyed by Jack shit because I know what I'm coming in here for. You fucking look at the ground beef. I'll look at the ground beef next.

It'll still be beefing. We'll still do our thing, hanging out. Also going to the grocery store when I have like a slight blaze is fire. Like, I don't want to be in public sober, but if I can get just a little tiny bit litty before I go, that is excellent. You know, I like going in with the list too. I I type it in on my notes on my phone and then I delete it as I go and like sometimes I'll forget or add stuff, you know

what I mean? But like for the majority, most part, I know like the core things are going in there for and then like other little extra add-ons like, oh, I might grab Taco sauce or whatever like something random, I'll grab it. But I try to go in with the list too. I think like being organized in that sense is important because the fucking grocery stores are hot mess sometimes.

And honestly, it just kind of depends on where what time you go. I feel like anytime in the afternoon between like four and six is the worst time. It's like the gym. It's the worst fucking time to do anything is between those two hours. I think that we grocery shopped very well together when we were in Moab. We had our fucking list. We took off in separate directions, got the things that we needed, met up. I thought that was very seamless. And then our total was, what,

222 even something like that. It was, yeah, it was an Angel number. It's great. You know, we did good. You cooked good. You cooked all all the food. Cooked all the fucking food. I'm going to try my hand at macaroni and cheese again because this will only be my hundredth time and it always turns out like white girl Mac and cheese. And I realized that somebody told me it's because I'm baking it too long after I make like my cheese sauce.

And basically my cheese is like my thing is separating and so it's called like breaking your sauce or some shit like that. So I'm going to try something different. And I bought some plastic Velveeta to put in there too. And plastic makes everything taste good, so it should be delicious. It's Velveeta. So you just joke that. It's like the plastic cheese. You lost me. I was like, what?

Yeah, no, it was a joke about being a fucking American and all of our food being processed and something else. You know, I really don't even fuck with Mac and cheese for. I like pasta salad or something like that, like, but I'm not like a Mac and cheese girl at all. Well, you didn't choose to come here for Thanksgiving, so fuck you. You can't have any Mac and cheese anyways, you know. I don't even like it. It's not good. I'm so hoping it works out for

you though. If I made you Mac, and if I made a bomb as fuck Mac and cheese, when we had been in Utah, you'd have slapped that down and you'd have been like, Oh my God, this is so good. This is healing my mother wounds. You would have loved it. I would have ate it. I ate everything that you cooked. I like. I have a crazy taste bud bango now. Like I mix so many things together like blue cheese and olives and just different things I never would have ate before.

Like in blue cheese, it just hits different you have. Those mature taste buds? Because you're in your 30s. It's like heaven on earth. Or maybe it's 'cause you haven't put anything fun in your mouth for a long time, and so now your mouth gets excited by gross things like blue cheese and olives. It's like something's here. Facts. No. So facts. Y'all. I'm literally on a celibacy journey.

I do not have sex. And when I say that, like I do not have no sneaky link, no hookup, like, although I'm not saying I don't want to have sex. It's just that being on a celibacy journey, it's more about like I'm now like demisexual or like asexual. Like, I really, if I don't have a super emotional connection going with you, I don't want to have sex with you whatsoever. Like, even if I'm attracted to you, type deal. It's like not about attraction

anymore. It's like if I don't have a real spiritual bond going on here with you, like if the universe isn't pulling me back to your door, like look at this person. Like this is a person, this is your person. Like, I can't. And like, it's weird. It's like, whereas I used to just be like, OK, what can this person do for me? Or what do they bring to the table? Or are they even just cool or whatever and be able to, like, have that bond with them and

like them or whatever. But like, now it's just like, if I'm not emotionally attracted to you, it's really hard to, like, get my rocks on, you know? Yeah, and she does prefer if you have a throat tattoo. See, that is so optional. You say that like it's mandatory. It's, it's. Available. There is not one. I cannot think of one single person that I've ever seen the picture or profile love that you've been like, Dang interested, that did not have a

tattoo on their fucking throat. So you can tell me that it's that it's optional, but everybody's had it. OK, well look. It's a preference. New requirements. They have a throat is they could get it tattooed later. Not that I would want them to force them to, but I'm just like I'd rather people have no tattoos than bad tattoos. There's a lot of people just

got. You remember that MTV show next where people would like go, you'd like have to go on dates or whatever and they'd have the dudes would have to like play on the date and take you out and they'd be like, Oh my God, we I. Fuck, dude. That's what we're going to do 2024. I want to come to Kentucky and I want to host a dating panel for you, and I want to be the

fucking host. And I want to ask all types of questions and I want them to have to prove their talents and eat papayas and all type of shit in front of everybody. And that's how they're going to get graded and they have to plan a date for you. This could be absolutely fantastic. Girl, you know it's crazy. But I don't know. I was on a dating show and then

I think it got scrapped. They just like, never aired it, never heard nothing about it. Maybe it's going to show up on Netflix like next year after you've like met the love of your life and you're already married after two months or some shit and you're going to be like, that was old me. I don't know. And I recorded that earlier in the year. Yeah, And then it just never. Who knows? Why so were you? You didn't stay in contact with anybody that like, you went on

the show with. So like, was the show a flop? Yeah, like it was just I only met one dude and honestly I found out that he met 3 girls and I was one of them. That's fun for you. So do you have to, like, hand somebody a rose at the end? Oh, and I didn't get to see the other girls. You know what I mean? Like the other girls, huh? What did you do?

We we made pottery. We went to this place and it was called The Craftery and it's downtown in Nulu, which is like basically an Uptown part of downtown that's that basically brushes and rims the whole hood. Like it's basically it's like the hood and then this and they're and they're like it's like ritzy though. So like they're like, oh, it's safe. But it's not like to me crazy. So we went there early. It was like, I don't know 8:00

in the morning or something. And they filmed it and I can't even really remember his name. I followed him on Instagram for a little bit, but then I unfollowed him. But I mean he was like nice and I had a good time. But we like crafted this little pot thing kind of and then like painted it and it was like you would they put like a succulent plant in it and it was like a plant. I still have the thing, there's not a plant in it.

The plant died. Anything I. Bet you, I bet you that you make men really intimidated on dates, 'cause I'm thinking about you making pottery, and I bet you that dude was so out of his element, and making pottery is

my element. Not that it's like your like niche and like what you do. But I'm just thinking about like being a dude on a date with you and the way that you talk and the way that you carry yourself and like when you talk you're so sure of what you say even if you're not sure of what you say. And like I bet you that it like makes men feel like intimidated and and you have a very your energy is very much like. This is what my standard is, and it's fucking high.

So like, you're lucky that I'm here with you today and I think that it takes somebody special who can be like, I am lucky. You're right. Oh my God. Wow. I mean, I would say that anyone who's with me is lucky, but I personally, I'm letting people like, do their own standard. But will I actually, like, respect them or, you know, whatever. Like not necessarily just guys, but like, there's a lot of things that guys do that I can't respect.

Like people that like, have kids and don't take care of them. Just, you know, beyond that. But like, this dude definitely had two kids and two baby Mamas. And honestly, it's kind of where I start drawing the line. Two baby Mamas is where I draw the line because like, one baby Mama, we with it. Two baby Mamas is like because now I'm dealing with two bitches right now. There's two, yeah. But you got to look at Bunny and Jelly. That's the love of her life. He's got two baby Mamas.

What about it? I don't know like. You could be passing up your Jelly roll. That's all I'm saying. I'm just saying I'm like, OK, maybe maybe you're right, maybe you're right. But at the same time, I'm no kids and I'm not trying to deal with two kids, two baby moments. That's four people and I. Think you. I think that you say a lot of things as a certainty that are just because you haven't met the person that is in that situation, that makes it so that you would deal with that situation.

Because I've always said I would never want to be a stepmom. I would never want to be like deal with somebody that has a kid. But then I met Brian and was like, that's my person and your kid is cute as shit. And here the fuck we are. And I let him hit it. And we had another one. Look, OK, Look, I'm saying I could deal with like, this dude has three kids by the same mom. Three kids by the same mom. It ain't about the kids, but.

That many kids, those people who just have two baby moms or more 2-3 baby moms, Because now I'd be the third one. It's just like, I don't know, it doesn't resonate with me, does it? They better have the most charming fucking. Energy of their fucking life for you to deal with three fucking kids. I don't give a fuck how many baby Mamas because you deal with one person's kid. That's crazy. You deal with three fucking kids. I I as of right now, it would be a hard fuck that for me.

Well, there you go. You're talking me into all this? We're just talking about real life experiences that could happen. Like you could find a paraplegic that you love that has six kids. It could happen. I've actually dated A paraplegic person before and it could happen. Literally had the craziest dream last night and that person was in my dream.

But there was like this really dope, like complex that had everything in it. Like wherever I was at was just like kind of like a hotel or something. It was just like people lived there, but it was like there's a Starbucks and just random stuff. It was like the most random dream. And I'm really ready to take this dream interpretation class, but I just can't find anyone that I'm resonating with. That's how I feel about a

fucking astrology class. So for everybody listening, I'm trying to talk Paige. And to well, I'm no longer trying. I've put the idea out and it's up to her. I'm not going to pressure her, but I think that she would do a really great job at teaching an

astrology class. And you specifically, I think that the way that you've gained confidence with doing the Tarot class and then doing your slideshows and everything that you need to do for the class, I think that it has LED you up to, I think you would be. Really good at doing a Tarot class, or I mean doing a astrology class. Well, I think I could teach it, but I don't know if I'm ready to put all that energy into it, 'cause it is a lot, it is so much it is like. You can just teach me.

Fuck everybody else. Nobody else needs the class. It's about me. I don't give a fuck. If anybody else learns it, I wanna know it. Literally. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's. Crazy. I'm really glad that we are having guests now and I hope that everyone starts to interact and support our new guests. We have some really cool people coming on, like freaking not even a name drop nobody, but just some really cool people. At least like 4 right now.

And that's really fire because we just decided like 4 days ago that we were going to start having guests. We had the most perfect guest, which we hope you enjoyed Barbie's episode because we're going to try to do a guest episode and then a solo and then a guest episode, like keep it every other. So that way if you're not resonating with the guests, you aren't going to miss out too much. But hopefully our guests are resonant cause a lot of these people are really fire.

I would like to also give the PSA that, like, we've never gotten, like, we've never gotten like negative feedback on having a guest and been like, I didn't like that episode or anything ever. But I'd also like to say that we genuinely don't give a single fuck if you don't ever like an episode. So if there's a week that you're like, I'm not a fan of that guest, like we genuinely don't give a fuck. Keep pushing.

Listen to the next week because it'll be just us and then we'll have another fire guest and I. You know, I don't like everybody, but I don't sit there and say I didn't like that person. So I've heard of some other podcasts getting like messages like that from people of, like, I didn't really like the guests this week and like, you can suck my whole Dick. You know, I think it's crazy, But having guests every week would stress me out.

Like to not have you as, like the common denominator for our podcast. Like, we're like equal in the podcast and like, bringing on people is cool, but like also just being like in our own energy is is cool too, 'cause I feel like sometimes people like, you know, like, we don't know a lot about them even, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes people don't do solo episodes, which, you know, like a lot of the podcasts I like, do like. Bunny does all kinds of stuff just to her without guests.

You know, like, but the guests are cool and it's a cool piece to like dive into people's stories that you like. Otherwise, maybe wouldn't know their story at all. Yeah, I like learning about other people and growing with them. And I also feel like, I don't know, dude, that break that I just took really just freed up my energy in so many different ways. And I love the idea of just getting to connect with other people regardless of what we're talking about.

And I don't feel like. It's going to use up a lot of energy or anything like that. I'm just so excited for things that we have moving forward. I know. Me too. I feel like there's just change in the air. We're closing out this year, and I feel like this year really did go back quickly, but I feel like I've been accomplishing a lot this year. This year's been really good to get rid of people off the boat, off the train, off everywhere, like just by Felicia.

This felt like a really long year to me. Like I didn't feel the like, Oh my God, and all of a sudden and it's 4th of July. I'm like, it's only fucking July. Like I this year is not flying by. I am ready for 2024. The odd numbers are for the fucking birds. And I'm ready to get back to even numbers. I turn fucking 30 next year, so I'm ready to like be in my prime state plus like, my my what the fuck? My Saturn. Yeah, it's happening. And that's fucking weird. And I I don't like that.

And so I'm gonna try and shift that fucking energy in my. Favor Pattern is literally at 00 Pisces, like it's been at 00 for a little bit 'cause it went on retrograde and then went back. Right now it's at 00 Pisces like it is, it's the beginning, but it's been happening and went retrograde and then it started over. So it's like now it'll move forward and move through your chart, but it's been in retrograde for like most of this year like. How long does it last? Seven years?

No, it only cycles every 27 to 30 years and then it stays there for 2-3 four years. It just depends. But I think they're just going to stay there quite some time. Yeah, me mine did too. Yeah, whatever. I'm sure there'll be like plenty of learning lessons and blah blah blah blah fucking blah. But I It's an awakening moment. Listen, I just want to be fucking skinny and rich by the time that it ends. That's all I'm saying. Gemini. Crazy. That's not crazy, that's realistic.

And I also want hose in every area code. Ever since we talked about plastic surgery once Gemini was like, I'm I'm sold on it. I'm getting it done. Oh, I wasn't even talking about plastic surgery. I just want it to spontaneously happening with me, not having to change my life. Oh, I thought it was an interesting thing for you to go get your mommy makeup. Now I am. Now I just.

I just want to go under and I want to wake up with a new body and like if I can only eat nuts for the rest of my life because I have it, at least it'll keep my shape crazy. I literally need to eat better with the holidays. I need to be conscious of how much sugar I'm eating. Yeah, you do. No, I'm just kidding. I don't fucking eat whatever you want to eat. No, Like, there's so much sweets around right now and I need to just feel like not eating those out.

Really. Yeah, but you go to the gym every single fucking day of your life, like you're just gonna squat and it's gonna go on to your ass and it's just gonna help the bubbles. So what do you care? No, no. I did go to the gym today and I feel proud though. Yeah, I'm proud of you. You'll send me voice notes and I'll just hear Clink Clink clinking in the background from the gym equipment and I'll know what's up. The gym. I'm ready. Get it popping.

You already get it popping. We can do a New Year challenge at the gym. I have never actually had a gym membership before. That's not true. I've had a gym membership. And I didn't go. And the reason I didn't go is because Brian and I went once and I just felt really uncomfortable while we were there. I didn't understand like. Gym etiquette I still don't like.

I don't know. I didn't know until I was on TikTok that you're supposed to wipe down the equipment in between, like after you use it. I didn't know that. Nobody said anything to me. Nobody saw me working out at the gym and was like, let me help you. People were just staring and that's probably why they were staring. But like, I just, I've never found a gym that I'm like, yeah, I'm super comfortable here, but also if I don't go to a gym and I'm just at home.

Then I don't work out as hard as I feel like I would if I had a place where other people were working out. So it's like a double edged sword. Well I will agree the gym can be a painful experience until you get adjusted. I didn't know gym etiquette either, but now because I know now that 92% of these people do not wipe their shit down, I clean it before I use it and I don't be sweating like that. So I just clean it before I use it really good. Wipe down everything.

Like most people have sprayed a little bit, rub it, I wipe down everything and then I do not wipe it out again. Like after I've used it, I have out so that I cleaned it before I sat down, if that makes sense. Because a lot of people just don't clean their shit and like a lot of people be sweating like balls, back chest all upon this equipment, you know what I mean?

So yeah, it's like one of those places that it's like some people act like they own the whole motherfucker, but then you'll meet people that are like super nice. But I bought most of like my own attachment. So that way when the like cables would be open, I could just go straight to it without needing to look for said attachment. Like I didn't buy everyone. I just bought like a rope and like a leg attachment and things like that. But like, it takes time because it's not easy.

It really isn't. But now that I've been going for like almost three years, it feels so different. Because now it's like I used to be only like pull a 30 or a 40 and now I can do like 80 or XYZ over my head or behind my head like it's crazy. I can take a 40 LB barbell and just go behind my head like like it's like a golf ball or something. And I couldn't even take 5 lbs behind my head when I started. So I feel like I've never really paid attention as much as like the scale.

I don't even get on the scale. I just feel like how much can I lift now? And like, I hate doing cardio, but I try to put at least 10/15/20 minutes of it in with lifting weights. But there's just certain things you got to learn what you do and don't like. Like I could never just go to the gym and be on the treadmill for an hour. Like, no, that would never work for me. The most I'm going to be on the

treadmill 20 minutes. I. Feel like I'd I feel like I would like to go to the gym and I do really well when other people are doing something to like if I have like a buddy with me to do it with then I feel like all Brian and I have even talked in the past about going together. But I like. Certain things like, I don't know, I feel like moving your body and sweating and shit to me. I have to be in like a meditative headspace.

Like I want to have music on. I just want to focus on what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. And I don't necessarily want somebody there with me side by side, but I'd like somebody who's like, hey, are we checking in? Like, did you go to the gym today? Like, what are you doing? You know, I personally prefer going to the gym alone than with people. But, like, right now one of my friends is like, you got to motivate me. And we went tonight.

Like, she doesn't live far. So I just picked her up. We went and you know, she was like, but I wouldn't have went tonight without her, 'cause I have been, you know, four days in a row Today, Monday is normally the day I take off, 'cause it's busy. But we got there and it was still busy. It was like late. We got there to stop in, so you know we got it in or whatever.

But like I prefer like listening to music and like just being in my own world like but at the beginning I needed someone to go with me too. Like I started going to the gym with people in the beginning, but you know it is it is fun to go with people because they can help you like with spotting or your form or things like that. But also, I feel like just like keeping up with it, with someone is like motivating because I personally like listening to music too.

Like the whole time. Like I don't want to talk at all because I feel like I get more done when I'm listening to music than I do. If someone goes with me and we're talking like, you know what I mean? Because now you have like you're you're swapping and you're talking and you're, you know, it's just like, I don't know, people go to the gym with their group of people at my gym and they will be there for like 3 to 4 hours and they're like high school age or like maybe college.

Like they're young. And so me and my friend were there tonight and my friend who's in spirit, his name's Robert Dell. He died when he was 19, but he was like the hottest guy at our school and like, you know, football star all the things. And I said, did you see the

young Robert Dell in there? And she knew exactly what I was talking about, 'cause there's this young little hottie, he's probably 19 or 18. Like, he's got some tattoos and stuff, but he is in there leading the pack with all his young friends. And then all his young friends bring their girlfriends. But he doesn't seem to, like ever have a girl in there with him. It's just like 29 of his guy friends and a couple girls. And it's like a whole entourage posse.

And so we got in the car. I said that she knew exactly. She said the only dude with his shirt off in there. I said, I said, every time I get there, his shirt's on, but by the time I leave, his shirt is off every time if I see him. So I don't know if that's just normal, if that's just what he does, but it seems like I get there. Shirts will be on. Next thing you know, he's over here flexing with a real Canon camera on a stand.

I think it's your cougar era and I think you're over hereabouts. Pick up fucking. It was funny. It was really funny because. Young young men, young gentlemen. I don't know, is that weird to say? Because it's like there were dudes during a podcast and someone said something about like a 19 year old girl. I'd be like you're fucking weird, but then it's you and I'm like get the 19 year old boy and take it home. You know that's not that much

difference. I mean, we like what I'm I'm a little older than him, but not like 45. Like I'm not like. Well, that's true. That'd be you less than, you know, 15 years older than him. Like, we still have some of the similar generational things. But at the same time, no, that's not what I was saying. I was just saying there's like a leader of the pack at the gym, hogging everything, popping their shit.

And so my friend who's with me now, she's never seen this entourage before and like, it is OK and it's, it's funny. But like once you get used to it and like, who's going to be at your gym, I think that's the most important thing, is like when you develop a connection to the gym, you eventually see pretty much 75% of the people that go to that gym at some point. Because there's, you know, 25% of people that go the same time every day.

But I think a lot of people these days, they just get it in when they can. People be in there at 10:00 at night, you know what I mean? Like, just getting it in when they can. But you kind of learn who's going to be at the gym in a way. Not like every time you're there, but you start seeing people and recognizing people

and things like that. So I think, like, that's the biggest thing of, like, that you get over, 'cause it's kind of like if you go to a nail place or a doctor's office and you begin to, like, see, you know, the same workers, the same people, you get more comfortable, right?

Like. So at the gym, you'll see people who are, like, pretty much in there all the time and like, will talk to you or they're older or like, you know, I I hope that older women all the time, like, figure out how to work machines, 'cause I'll see them struggling and I'll be that person that's like, hey, do you want me to help you? And so, like, I think the more that people see you and they're the more that, like, you really do develop connections.

Like, I have made several friends at the gym. It's just like random that, like, you know, one of them's like her kids about to turn one. And I feel emotionally connected to this kid, like, and I've never even met it. You know what I mean? Like you just like meet people at the gym and then it it does like get easier. I will say that. But when the beginning I didn't want to go either and I could only go with people. So then I would only go like two days a week because people are

unreliable. So there was just like a point where I was like I want to eat what I want and not feel bad about it. And I also want to be stronger and like not worry about the number on the scale but just like feel happier and like sexier or like feel more confident in myself so that I'm not like wishing I was doing

that. Even though not like weighing my food and eating the right macros and like just literally doing whatever the fuck I want to do. I'm still going the gym and weight and like lifting more and more. Like I can do 290 on the leg press now. And when I started lifting like 100 lbs or 120 lbs would have been a lot on the like leg press. I would have felt like I needed a spotter 'cause I could crush myself on that thing. And now I'm like pushing almost £300. No spotter, don't give a fuck.

Like, it's actually kind of like I could put more on there, but I don't like to hurt myself, you know what I mean? I'm not gonna like, you know, but like when you're up and you're down and your feet are on that thing, like if it comes swinging to you, like, it could cross you if you're not doing it right, you know? Right. I was always so scared of that machine is what I'm trying to say. Like, I was terrified. And then I just started out like doing 50 or like, you know, like

it started out. There's ones like at like Planet Fitness and places that are more commercial, they have a few different ones. Like, they have ones that like can't crush you. You know what I mean? Like, it's like more safety guard, but not as big of like a press or like a push. And then there's ones like that. But I used to like, steer clear of them.

So like I can just see progress over the class like almost three years by like the definition of like oh that used to like scare me or I didn't want to use that machine or I was afraid to do that And then just evolved over time by just doing like 4050 sixty and like now I'm doing 290 like like I said and I could probably do 3:50, I could probably put 30 more on each side and like push 350. I just it's a lot to take off and I have to like take it off because that's Jim etiquette.

It's like you put it on, take it off, period. And a lot of people don't know that. A lot of people don't do that. Sometimes. Like, it doesn't bother me, but people who can't lift that much, like they can't get it off, you know what I mean?

So there is a lot. But like if you go to a smaller, less commercial style gym, and even though it's smaller, it's actually better in my opinion because you don't have as much riff, raff or like the in and out of a membership that's $10 or less so. I went to the Super small it was. It was a small, 'cause we lived in a really small town before this one, and it was like the small, independently, privately owned gym there. And the inside was dope. They had so many different

pieces of equipment. But we went in there, and every single time that I went in, 'cause I went in a couple times. There was never anybody like at the front, Like there was never a person like I knew that They had like fitness instructors there and like people who could help and stuff like show you things. But there was never a person there that I felt like could be helpful. And there was never anybody at the front desk for me to, like,

ask or anything like that. And so I just got frustrated with it because I just felt like, damn, I'm paying for this membership. And I can't even get somebody here to, like, show me how to do these things or, you know, whatever. And like a part of the membership was that they'll set you up with like. The first time that you go like a fitness coach, whatever, and they'll like break down a thing for you of like what equipment you should use, how many reps whatever, and.

Then they don't do it. That's lies. That's propaganda. So what you need and what you sound like you need is you need to go to a gym that has a decent amount of workers where they have personal trainers that you can pay and it's like $25 a session or 30. I think I used to pay 20. So it's probably 25 or 30 a session. And you buy a package and you get like 8 sessions and then they give you a workout plan. So you work out with them like twice that week, but you're

supposed to go 5 days. That's how I've gotten into like going five days and trying to do it all out together. Because when you take days off, it's worse. Like, it's just better to just do the five days and have two full days of rest and then do the five days. Can do like 2 days, two days off, 3 days day off, you know what I mean? Or whatever. Like, so when you get the personal trainer, they give you

a workout like plan. Like I have one of my old workout plans I could send to you for like whatever I bought. You know what I mean? Like, I think it's like in a document, but I mean, they give you a plan. You buy a package through the gym worker type people and like most athletic clubs if they're labeled Athletic Club, have that. Like they have people that teach and like you pay through your membership but like it's probably like 20-30 whatever a session, maybe more.

I don't know, who knows? I wouldn't think it'd be much more because if they give you a plan and then you're out accountable because your trainer, just like your mentor, like we would text someone to be like, hey, how's it going? How's this? You know, whatever your trainer is going to be on your ass, like how's it going? What's up? Did you hit the gym today? Like in a nice way, but like also in a way where you also feel like you want to make them proud, You know what I mean?

And what kind? Of fucking choose do you wear to the gym me. Yeah, I wear all kinds I wear. Sometimes I wear Converse, sometimes I wear flat shoes. Sometimes I wear like Nikes. It just depends. That's why I, like, I'm in love with Nikes now. OK, because I've got, I'm just going to wear Converse. I've got Converse or hiking boots because I'm not a sneakers kind of girl. You got to switch it whenever

you're wearing flat shoes. They say sometimes it's good to lift weight on flat shoes 'cause it evens the weight on your foot. But then also, like when you're doing cardio, you don't necessarily want to wear flat shoes. Yeah, well, I don't know, I'm a cardiovisor. Hiking boots or a Converse or hiking boots kind of girl, 'cause I fucking. I hate sneakers. I don't know if you know this about me, but I hate tennis shoes. I hate my feet being covered. And I don't like when I can't

move my toes like I'm a very. That's what I do when I'm like nervous or like it's like a self soothing thing. And so when my feet are inside of sneakers, I literally feel trapped. It makes me feel sweaty and it makes me feel like I'm gonna fucking vomit on you. Well, get you some low cut sneak and some ankle socks and wear wear some leggings or something to the gym.

I think that I didn't like sneakers either, but I started wearing platform like Fila sneakers and then basically now I'm like a Nike Jordan becoming now. You're a fucking sneaker snob, I know, my friend said. When did you get turned on to sneakers? And who turned you on to sneakers? I said. Actually me, because I just started like, looking at shoes. And those shoes that Barbie had on in her new photo shoot, those long green Jordans. I fucking. I need to eat dinner before I

die. Are you doing a card? Yeah, not to be dramatic, but I'm I could fucking eat a whole estimate past your bedtime. It's past my bedtime. We usually record. I feel like earlier. We've already had that card a lot of times. All right, we got card 52 for the Blossom. Boom. I don't know what that fucking Bush is either. All right, card 52 for the Blossom. The sign is cancer. The gift is trust and the shadow is stress. This gift begins with the seed of intention.

How can you be of the greatest service to humanity? From there you must trust in the natural timing and rhythm of the universe. This is about balance and inner knowing of when to act and when to rest. When you're in alignment, you can get out of your own way and allow the blossom to form in its rightful moment and place. It isn't rushed or forced. A product of stress. You understand deeply that every experience in your life serves a necessary purpose, and you are right on time.

The more that you trust in divine timing, the more this gift will guide you. Your shadow is stress. The collective has been hardwired to be motivated by fear. It's the factor of fear, a trigger for flight or fight, that has kept us alive all of these years. It is a universal instinct, and thus it has served its purpose. But it has also culminated in a stress that is seeped into our energetic bodies in our shared

auric field. It is pervasive and continuous Individually. This shadow may manifest as a feeling of being stuck the repressive expression or as restlessness, the reactive expression. To flip the switch on the shadow is to access higher levels of frequency that bypass the lower realms.

You must get centered enough to follow your inner guidance system, which will form your actions, versus operating singularly from a place of underlying stress that is being constantly on or contrastingly off or stuck. Your themes are timing, intuition, trust, and intention. Beautiful. Thank you all joining us through our ups and downs. Happy holidays and we'll be back next week with a new guest. Bye.