Welcome to Fucking Candy Land, hosted by Rampage and Gemini. Welcome back to Candy Land. We have missed you all and we hope that you enjoyed our special guests, Nicole, we really enjoyed having her on the podcast because she's just so sweet and genuine and we really rock with people who show up authentically. So I feel like that was just such a beautiful episode and connection and just bringing her in was so special. You guys are better liked her because if you didn't, then fuck you.
No, I'm just kidding. But really, us being so selective about guests makes it so much more fun when we have guests and it makes it. It doesn't feel like it's a chore to get a guest on the podcast. I love when it's just you and I, but also she is so genuine, so sweet. Like she even has followed up since the podcast. She she's like VIP where she just shouts the shit out of stuff that she's working on and that she does and just like promotes it.
And I know that we've already had new people that have come into our rotation, booked readings with us and everything from that episode and just resonating with like our energy and her. And so it's brought new people into our life and it's just always expanding and evolving. I really love people who have a mutual understanding that like there's no competition. It's really just elevation and collaboration and just bringing people in that match.
That energy is so important to like anyone trying to pursue a project or a dream or anything in your life. The people you keep in your circle matters so much, and you will just continue to uncover that. People you thought supported you don't support you or people that you thought were riding with you never rode with you. They just literally wanted access to your energy. And I love to see people finally like all the way on their own
wave where it's like. What other people do no longer makes or breaks yourself confidence or like makes or breaks who you are because you understand yourself and you understand the way people react has no reflection of like, who you actually are. Yeah. And something too like I was going through, I I messaged you last night but I just think it's so strange that people will have problems that like have never been even addressed and you're like oh it's like a jealousy thing.
But I was going through last night and I was looking at my TikTok messages like scrolling through because I was just going to follow up with people that like I've had conversation with them. Maybe it like dropped off about having them on Coven or something. And I'm going through and I'm seeing like user not found. Tik Toker, user not found. And I'm like what? And so I'm like oh they got like their profile deleted.
It was like 4 people. And then I go on the covenant of Rejects page and I go look these people up and they still have accounts. They just straight blocked me and I'm looking at like our conversations and I've never had a falling out with this person. It was all good people that were literally just commenting on my stuff like a week ago like Oh my God, I love seeing like favorite tick talker and I don't. I'm trying to get more used to it.
Like it no longer. It used to really hurt my feelings and I used to be like, but what did I do? And I would think through everything that I had posted and what could have happened. And I really think that some people just have their own fucking triggers in life and they have to remove people for a BC&D reasons.
And now I'm comfortable with, if I somehow am bothering you on my journey, if you take something personal, whatever, your problem with me isn't my fucking business anymore and I'm no longer give up. It does not affect me. I think that's just really about like self-awareness and like reflection and how like healing and working in your own energy is like the most important part of the journey. Because if not, you're always going to be caught up on that external validation or understanding.
And I love when I see people finally get to the stage where they no longer give a fuck and like, stop taking stuff personal. Because for me, like if someone. Shows initiative and then they back off. That's more on them than on me. Or if someone like it says they're going to do something and then they don't do it, that's more on them. And understanding that like nothing is personal but everything is spiritual. People are going through their own battles that no one knows
about. And just because people are portrayable, like confident or cute or attractive or successful or rich or whatever, does not mean they're happy and have confidence. And themselves does not mean that they love themselves, that they like themselves, that they even appreciate what they bring to the table. So there's absolutely no way that that person in that equation can show that same respect to you or towards
anyone. And I think that the moment I stopped giving a fuck about how people perceived me was the moment that, like, I started getting tattoos and I started doing things that I wanted to do for me, rather than like what society says you should do or what other people. Think you should do, you know, And I feel like at the end of the day, the moment you start living in your own power, that's when you attract abundance and the reflection of that energy.
And I love to hear you say that you're like not even taking that personal because deep down I feel like a lot of people it is envy and jealousy. It's also just like some people have a natural ability about them and people are not happy about that. And I think that. Sometimes people don't like to see other people evolve quicker than themselves and it's like this weird competition that's like doesn't exist if you're on your own personal journey and like reflecting on your own journey.
Yeah. And going back to what you were saying earlier, you know there people can have a lot of comparison energy. And when you are looking for outside sources of validation, you start to pick apart other people's accomplishments and things and then compare yourself to those accomplishments. And you start to think, well, if I was just in a house that big, well, if I just had that level of money, well, if I just drove that car, I had those
opportunities. If I was prettier, you know whatever it may be, people are always if I just had and wanting things to fix situations that they have right now I would feel better about myself. If a BC&D and I think that's where the energy comes into of people that are like who does she think she is or who do they think they are And not just towards you and I, but that happens all over.
Everybody gets that of like everybody has met somebody and been like I don't know who the fuck she thinks she is. She's probably just existing, and you just didn't like that she was, you know, throwing down her unlimited credit card to pay for that and you were jealous of it. Honestly, I think a lot of it just boils down to like people don't want to see you rise above the level that they exist at.
So if you drive that better car, you have that better job or you have that amazing relationship or that beautiful body or like you said, whatever it is. People only pay attention to what they lack and rather than what they bring to the table. And that's what I think is like the most like. Dynamic Part of the journey is when you really just start appreciating who the fuck you are and stop worrying about what other people think they're doing, because who gives a fuck
what they're doing? You know what I mean? Like, at the end of the day, that doesn't change your journey. I've met so many people on this path that like, faded away exactly when they need it to, or like, were released exactly as I grew or learned a lesson. Like I don't really take any relationship for granted or understand that like. Oh, I wish that didn't happen because I think that every time something didn't go my way, personally, I learned so much from that.
But so many people get stuck perpetuating those same cycles. Like they love to be in that victim mindset or that lack mindset or, you know, whatever it may be. And they don't even see that they're bringing that into their world with that mindset. Yeah. And it doesn't always need to even be spirituality based.
Like, I know that something that I had to work really hard to overcome was being triggered by people talking about food and dieting and body on TikTok. Because that's something that's like shoved in your face so much on that app is you know, people doing like dieting videos or workout things or whatever and constantly talking about like body and body shaming and whatever. And I had to really get over the comparing my physical body to other people for beauty
standards. And I found myself getting like, I had to reprogram because was getting so frustrated and annoyed with people that were constantly doing nutrition stuff. And I was like, not everybody on this fucking app gives a fuck about what you're eating and wants to measure it. And then I'm like, OK, well, somebody out there actually does and like needs this type of support. And so, like, they are making content for a specific person. This is important to them.
You know, talking about spirituality may not be important to somebody and they're like, why are these hoes still fucking talking about this shit, you know? So there's always, there's always going to be the you don't have an interest in it, but somebody actually needs that. And I started having to change my mindset and figure out why does this trigger me. OK, because I'm uncomfortable about my body. Well, what I'm I'm comfortable in my skin. I just don't like being
perceived this way. And then you have to take out your personality, being tied into just like your physical whatever and not giving a fuck. And there's a lot of deconstructing. And I think that people can be like, oh, I'm on my spiritual journey. So, like I'm so healed because I don't feel triggered by this
over here. Well, you still have to bring in the mundane world and the physical elements of real fucking life and see where all of your different triggers day-to-day are that are affecting your spiritual growth. And they're supposed to go hand in hand. You're not supposed to be just focused on your spiritual journey and not worrying about like you're human shit too.
Yeah, I think that's so important about focusing on the mundane as well and like trying to find the magic in the mundane and like see a different perspective. And I know I've probably mentioned this before, but when I got jury duty, I felt like it was the end of the fucking world. Because they seriously pay you $12.00 a day and parking is like $10. So it makes zero sense. Like it makes zero sense for me to go down here and do this all day.
But, you know, the flip coin is of that is like you could be the one on trial, you know what I mean? Like you could be the one in trouble. You could be getting the letter from the government. That's like you're in trouble, you know what I mean? So I was like, it's a win, win. The fact that I'm going down there as like a prized citizen that, like follows the rules and plays the game right, you know, but at the same time it was just
like. I cannot believe that they haven't changed the pay for this since like the 90s. It makes 0 fucking sense. Makes no sense talking about pay. I was talking to somebody who has been doing content creating, and we were talking about taxes. And they're like, I had no idea that I had to pay taxes on money that I earned from content. And I was like, what do you
mean? And they're like, I didn't know I had to. I didn't know I had to pay taxes on Patreon. I didn't know I had to pay taxes on it. And I was like, what do you mean? And so they were, this was the other day. And it was just, like, so crazy because you and I were talking about our stuff last night and taxes. And I was just thinking about this person. And they've made like $100,000 this fucking year and they're fucking shit. And they're like, I didn't know I had to pay taxes.
I haven't been putting money to the side, baby. What do you mean? What do you mean the IRS is going to come to your house and they're going to no glove finger your fucking butt hole for that cash. I tell you what. They're going to pay it upwards about 25 to $32,000 if not more, unless they have write offs and things. They're going to pay upward OF30K on that, if not more. I don't give a fuck how much, right? There's no way you have $100,000 worth of write off like you're going to owe.
You're going. TO30K Uncle Sam something? Yeah, Uncle Sam's about to fucking take it out. They better have like 5 kids and about 50K in write offs and then they'll be straight. They're not. They're going to be owing a lot of money and they'll be on in trouble. And The funny thing is, like, it's not even like it's not somebody like that I'm closely associated with or friends with. They were just like, hey, I have a question. Somebody told me I'm going to have to pay taxes. Is that true?
And I'm just like what? What do you mean? Do you have to pay taxes when you have a regular fucking job? Well then baby, you got to pay taxes. When you get any kind of income, you have to pay taxes. If you fucking friends cash up you more than $600.00 for your sushi food that you go and get every year. I'm not. I'm not. I'm filtering through all that. We won't be like real legit changes between friends and family will not be taxed on my income, and I will deduct that personally.
I'm not, he says. Me and my accountant have this fucking figured out. No, I mean I'm just not going to like when people owe me money like for concert tickets and food and gas and stuff. I'm not going to pay taxes on that. Like the business related things will be taxed. But other than that that'll be it. I don't give a fuck. What it is, is drug dealers were getting like 20 to $30,000 a year on cash app and that's why. That's why they changed
everything is because. Drug dealers and people that do illegal things, and people that sell dogs and people that do shit that's illegal in car businesses, and all these levels were not paying taxes unless it was $20,000 or more. So then the IRS changed it to $500 or more, meaning that pretty much anyone whether you're cutting grass or whatever, you're about to start paying taxes on digital
transactions. So what I was taught for financial saving and I think it's important that we talk about it because a lot of people just don't, don't know. What I was always taught is that you unless you're at a job where they are taking out your your taxes for you and they're sending them off whatever and then you're going to do your thing at the end of the year and maybe get money back when you get paid your personal money for your content or whatever you you
save. So you cut that amount in in half. So let's say I got 100 bucks in you cut that amount in half. So you have 5025 dollars goes into your savings, $25 gets put away for your taxes, and that way you're always saving 25% away from the actual thing for taxes, and then you're also saving 25% away for your savings account as well. I think that you should save way
more than that. I think that when you start making more than $10,000 at anything that you do, you better be prepared to pay quite a bit back in. And I think that people fuck themselves by not using like credit cards properly or using things that track expenses properly, because a lot of credit card companies will break down your expenses and tell you what you spend money on the most. And I just think that a lot of people like use money they don't have to buy.
Things they don't need, so then later they're no longer fulfilled or they're really greedy and stingy people to begin with. And then money like repels you when you're greedy and stingy Money doesn't. Like, follow you and help you out because, like, there's no reason it's not in flow with you. It stops with you. You know what I mean? Like someone who's greedy or send you like the money stops
there with them. Like someone who has good value in money, knows how to spread it and invest in other businesses or in people that matter. But I think it's funny how people don't realize how the real world works when it comes to taxes, when it comes to things that they don't teach us. Like that's the problem is they don't teach us a lot of. Life skills that we need. I yeah. I mean, I don't really remember any kind of education on actual
financial things. I remember learning how to write a check, but you know, I did all the math courses and everything and there wasn't anything that was teaching you how to save for taxes. Do your taxes, File your taxes? Anything. But the second that you have a job fucking 16 years old, think in Idaho, it's 15. You're having to do taxes, you're having to figure it out. And if you do it improperly, then you're going to have Uncle Sam coming down your fucking throat.
And the solution for that is, Oh well, you should go and pay somebody else who is educated on this, who's gone to college, who has a degree, so that they can help you, because they don't prepare you so that then people have to pay into the system to learn how to do it, to not get fucked by the system. So it's insane how twisted it is.
Like one year I had someone mess up on my taxes and I paid a lot more money and then later I had to have someone redo and resubmit my taxes where I got a reimbursement of like I don't know, 1200 dollars or something that I had extra paid because this person messed up my taxes. Like it's crazy that you can pay someone a lot of money basically to do your taxes and they'll still fuck it up. Speaking of getting money and
overpaying. So I got my gas bill this month and it was $2.22 and I was like what the fuck? So I'm telling Brian and he's like like something must have happened. So then I look at last month and I double paid, which I didn't even realize that I had double paid and so it ended up crediting me this month. And so I only owed $2.22 and I thought, that is so amazing. And so when I went to the dispensary earlier in the month,
it was $55.55. And so I feel like spirits just coming through and being like, hey, just want to reward you for the way that you're spending your cash monies. You know, I think that when you have a flow of mindset, things flow very well and that's why, like, I don't. Take things being disrupted or not being the way that I want them as a disruptive my flow. I think that flow comes and goes like you can't just like always have money and always have all
these things. But you can have the energy that like guides you towards fulfillment in different ways and I feel like then. Money and material matters. And like things like that work itself out, you know what I mean? Like whenever you're not searching for it or focused on it or 1000% wrapped up in it. And I think in the past for you especially, you were really wrapped up in like, I need this, I need to do that, I want to be
here, I want to be there. And now you're like like a lot more chill when it comes to that. So then things are like more you know, like in tune for you. Yeah, because for a long time I felt like I was trying to prove, like to me, being successful with what I was doing and it actually mattering was I had to be at a certain monetary thing and I had to be on this level doing this. And then once I was doing that, I was like, specifically it was
with my business. And then once I was doing that, I was like the fucking money. Spending all of this time and energy doing this isn't worth the emotional stress that I feel. And it's more important to me to feel like I'm doing something because I love doing it, because I want to do it. As opposed to feeling like I'm doing it to prove something and because I need to survive off of it. And when I look back on it like that wasn't even goals that I personally had it.
It ended up being a goal that was put on me. And I don't even think I talked to you about this. But when I had had that girl who wanted to start a podcast with me before you and I did, and you were like, I fucking didn't like her, she's fucking weird. She would put a lot of pressure on me because she didn't have an outside job. All of her stuff came from social media and whatever. And so and it wasn't much money. Like she lived off of her husband's whatever, which I hadn't done.
And so she was like, we're going to need to put this amount of time and this amount of energy into it to have this kind of financial, whatever come out of it. And so I had put this goal down on paper of needing to make this amount of money so that I could do, you know, what I want to do full time or whatever. And when I think back on it, it wasn't even a goal that I personally had for me.
It was somebody else speaking and projecting their shit on to me that I then took on as this is what success is going to be for me and what I have to do in order for me to not be wasting my time. And I no longer feel that way. And whether that be, you know, because I achieved that and then decided it wasn't for me or be it because I actually am doing things that I'm passionate about and it doesn't fucking matter.
I don't know. But I just know that that is so far removed from my reality now and what I'm thinking for myself, and I don't do anything that I'm doing with a monetary point in mind. I'm I want my bills paid and I want to be comfortable. And that's where I'm at. And I really could give a fuck less about anything about that. You know, I think so many people get wrapped up in some, like, certain fantasy world that they think is going to completely
fulfill them or make them happy. And most people do it through relationships or through even situation ships. Like, people like to feel like they're in control and that they have some kind of, like, control over their fate. But the thing I love. About the Universe is like it never ceases to amaze me. The things that are possible when I get out of my own way, when I get out of my own head, when I get out of my own, like limiting belief systems.
And at the same time, I feel like that's the most uncomfortable part of the journey, is venturing off that, you know, beating path like that familiar. But sometimes you have to do that to realize that's not. What you're going for or that's actually not the direction that you want to go. And a lot of people don't realize that, like getting out of their own head, getting out of their own way and just doing the thing.
Trying The thing is going to give you a lot of information on whether that thing is for you or whether that person or that situation or that job is for you. But under. Like, understand how people can stay in that energy forever. But like, outside influences, your environment and how you spend your free time will make or break your whole life. And a lot of people just play the victim in their own world. But it's like you set the stage. You're setting the stage for all this fuckery.
You're shady, you are envious. You know you're not a good person, so you're attracting people. That reflect that back to you, that treat you like shit, that validate your insecurities or traumas. And you know, I just like surrounding myself with people who just are trying the best to do like what they require, like what they want. You know, instead of trying to fit some narrative of like this is my picture perfect life. Now look at it and and congratulate me, You know what I
mean? Yeah. I no longer look at people and think, Oh my gosh, they have it all put together or whatever. Because what you see from the outside and you think that other people have their ship put together. A lot of times those people would laugh at you if you told them that they have their ship put together. They'll be like, no, I fucking
don't. And another thing, too, is I think that people would be happier if they did things that were a risk and that they didn't know what the outcome was going to be, but they just felt like they were. They're led to do something. And I know that for me, I've always been the person that's like, it doesn't make any sense to me. But I feel really drawn to make this decision, go this place, do this thing since I was a kid. And I'm going to make that happen.
And it always has, you know, bothered my parents or whatever because it just seems irresponsible or whatnot.
But it's always end up blessing me in the end and is the been the best thing to do. And I think that a big part of people limiting themselves and having these like crazy goals and expectations for their self and their thought processes and shit has been passed down to them from their parents, from their friends, from whoever, with these mindsets of Oh no, well, you have to do it like this.
And usually the people giving the advice are people who have had handouts to get what they have and they've never, they're not intuitive in any way, so they couldn't fucking pick a fucking direction. Or they just only have these one pathways and they could never be open to something else? Did you know there was just a bubble with the thumbs up that came floating around your screen?
No. But what's fucking crazy about that is I was doing a reading before we started the call and that happened to me while I was talking to her and we were not on Zoom, we were on Facebook and I can't figure out why the fuck it's happening. And we both were fucking weirded out and then we tried doing it again and it wouldn't do it. Did we do it like that? It doesn't do it. I don't know what happens. It's been happening when I talk today. I've never seen that.
It was like a spirit bubble, but a thumbs up. What I like about the world is that you can choose any reality that you want and a lot of. People waste their energy surrounding themselves with miserable people and you know, misery loves company and people will love to keep you at their level or keep you beneath them. A lot of people, including myself in the past, would hang out with more weaker minded people so I could be like the smarter person, the smartest
person even. And you know, I think people do that. That's what people do, they like. Surround themselves with weaker links because they want to feel superior or they actually want to validate their own insecurities, like they're doing something like they have something going on and that they're in their power or whatever. And unfortunately, so many people play the game very well. But when it comes down to actually acting upon a lot of what they're saying or a lot of like what they're.
Eluding is like, it's not there. You know what I mean? Like people's character will always be tested whenever it gets down to the integrity. Like how is someone really going to react under pressure or under stress, or like when they're scared or grieving or whatever. People will show you the best version of them all the way until they can't anymore. And then you have to decide like what you're going to do with that like how you're going to move forward in that situation.
I agree. And and something that you and I had recently talked about too. I I came to this realization as I was trying to think about just like repeat types of people that kind of come into our circle and that we maybe have issue with or or fallout with or something like that. And I was trying to think about well what's my mindset, how am I attracting these people, whatever. And I have been figuring out that I really try to connect.
Well, I don't try to, but I have seemed to have people gravitate towards me that are in similar energetic situations or places in their life that I have been before and in times of my life where I felt like I didn't have any support systems or any anybody to like, boost me up and help me through. And so I I see this in people and I go, oh, well, if I had just had somebody like me with where I am right now when I was in that place, I could have done a BC&DI can help them on their
journey. And so it's been like this Captain Sevaho mentality. And you know, there's a fine line between mentorship and Captain Sevaho energy. And instead of trying to guide people because you see old versions of yourself in them, recognizing that that's where they are and giving every single person the same amount of tools and guidance in the exact in the same way without switching it up and getting more emotionally invested in certain places. Because you see yourself in that.
Because I'm recognizing that, for me, it almost feels like I'm trying to heal like childhood wounds of like me as a teenager or whatever. Because I used to be in these places and now that I'm thinking about it and deconstructing it, those people, even with the tools that they've gotten, will never do with that information what you and I have done to overcome addictions and abuses and traumas and whatever, even with the same tools. Those will never be the same
people. And also those people are not 1516 year olds. Little girls trying to work their shit out and having difficulty. These are grown ass Broads who know better, who have had life experiences to know better and have probably had people try and help them and aren't doing more. And so I'm going to really be and I and I'm kind of saying this out loud like to you too because I just want to like be held accountable for it I guess.
And like speaking into the universe is like I am no longer accepting energy in the form of my past traumas to make me feel like I'm responsible to help somebody or I'm abandoning them just because that's how I felt in younger, unhealed versions of myself. You know, I've been really working through that inner child work for like years now.
And I think that anyone who's listening that feels like they relive cycles often or see their cycles within people and their reality to really focus on that inner child healing. Because there are wounded parts of us that are attached to certain outcomes that we did not receive certain instances that did not happen. You know, a lot of people fantasize about what a relationship would have been
like with. A certain parent or a certain person, whether that's a sibling or a grandmother or whoever, but you don't know what that would have been like and like fantasizing and mourning the loss of something is a natural response, but it can keep you in that cycle of abandoning, like, abandoning yourself and not honoring yourself. Because a lot of us just like, resent the path that we're on most of the time. Unless people are like. Wildly successful, talented and famous.
They're like fantasizing about someone else's life or like trying to stir up drama and someone else's life. And that's what I've learned the most, is like, the more peace that I have in my world, the more people want to, like, try to disrupt that peace and think that they have some power over my thoughts or my vision. Like I'm going to waste energy to send them some kind of negative spell. Like I don't even do love spells when I could totally do a love
spell on literally anyway. One, I choose not to because I don't want anything that's not authentic. Like, I don't want anything that's concocted from a fantasy world. Like, although the fantasy worlds are beautiful, a lot of people live there and they're delusional in a way that's like, not productive. I feel like my delusions are very productive because I've worked to build those visions into reality and like, they started from a delusion or started from a dream or
something. So I don't know. I just. I'm not. In the position to like judge what people do on their journey, because I really don't care. It doesn't affect me. But I also don't like people who act like they're going to do the work. And then when they later don't do the work, they project their insecurities and fears and trauma back onto the person who's been trying to help them to continue to perpetuate that abandonment cycle like you mentioned, but also that unworthiness, energy, that
neglect. You know, we neglect ourselves every time we let someone else manipulate. Relate us. But when you're taking advantage of people who are willing to help you, help you rise above that, you're really fucking yourself. Over. You're not fucking them. Over you're fucking yourself, yeah.
And also I think that people who end up doing that also when they're taking advantage of of people's energy or their time or whatever or resource of any kind, you end up manipulating it in your mind to why you deserve to be doing what you're doing or why you are owed. What this person is giving you their time, money, etcetera. And what they're giving you that before you were like, wow, I can't believe that like I can pay you for, you know, let's say like a spiritual service or
whatever. I can't believe that that I'm able to do that. Then people kind of get comfortable in that and it turns into like, well, I don't think that I should have to pay that. Well, I don't think that I should have to do this. And I think it's because people get comfortable manipulating things inside of their own mind at why they're owed something, why it should just be given to
them. And a lot of people will self rationalize in all areas of life of why they deserve to have special accommodations made for them or whatever. Like, well, I know that everybody else has to do this in order to get that. But like, we've had phone calls before, so I should be able to be able to have this or I should be able to do this. And I know that I've had that happen. I mean, I I've done that not in like current versions of myself, but in old versions of myself.
I've totally, like, have those moments where I've had friends who have overgiven to me and I had just been like, Oh well, they're my friends. So, like, they should be doing that anyways because that's what friends are. Well, no. I was taking advantage of their niceness and their kindness and knowing that they were always going to be there to fall back and rely on. And I took advantage of that and I made it make sense in my own
mind. And then I was pissed when there was a falling out and and they were holding me to a standard because I manipulated the whole thing in my mind. And for some people that won't unravel for them for months, for years for something catastrophic to happen and they feel by
themselves. And when that does happen and people have self realizations, it is not then your responsibility to say it's okay that you absolutely treated me like shit and garbage and said stuff that like really affected my soul in the moment because now you're apologizing like it. You don't ever have to tell anybody that like they're forgiven and or anything for shitty ways that they treat you just because they were having a really shitty time and it took
me a long time to learn that. You know, I think people make excuses for others all the time, especially in relationships, people that they have children with, people they're related to. Excuses will be made until you're really sick of your own shit, or sick of their shit, or sick of whatever environment that you've created because. I just honestly believe that every person has the ability to pull themselves out of something like that. If they're willing, like you
said, to do that work. And like to put in that time where you set with yourself, where it's uncomfortable, where you turn down invites and invitations to celebrate. Because there really is nothing to celebrate if you're not in tune with your own soul. That's why I don't understand the people who drink every weekend, because it's like, what
are you celebrating? Your life is absolutely shit Monday through Friday and then on the weekend you just go get fucked up and literally don't even like have any self realization time. You know what I mean? Like you're so drained and like illusioned that you don't even know your own self. And I think a lot of people, their biggest fall is they can't set with themselves because they don't really like themselves. And that sucks. Like I want everyone to like themselves.
I want everyone to be able to be in their own energy and enjoy a movie or cook a home cooked meal and just be in your own energy. Or just be happy with your family and the and the energies that you surround yourself with, right? Like to be present and not wish that your life was different. I'll hope that for everyone. And that's why I always laugh when people act like I would waste any of my energy to like
send them ill intention. Because it's like no, that's gross, like that is stink, coochie energy, dusty crusty butt. And I don't. Ever want to exude that energy? Like, even when people don't like me, I know it's because of something that is within them that has nothing to do with me. And I will stand on that because I am genuinely a very nice and like outgoing person that like,
wants to see everyone win. So if you have a problem with me, it's really because you don't like yourself and I'm just not ever going to like. Think anything else, because I've never went to anyone and try to mess up what their vibe is. Even if I think that someone has the hottest boyfriend ever, I would not try to break up their relationship. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just not vindictive like that, period.
And I want to add on to what you're saying because I I want to make it known that when you're saying that it's not like. A you don't selfreflect, and you and you come from an egotistical standpoint by saying that. And I think that people who are easily triggered could take it that way. I have had any time that there's been any type of, like, disturbance in the fucking force. We've had a conversation of like, this is what's going on from your outside perspective.
Should I have done anything differently? Does this make sense? Is this kind of response warranted in this? Like does this person have a point? Like we we have those types of conversations with each other behind the scenes when things come up in life or when there is any type of falling out anywhere or icky energy where we do really like hold me accountable if I fucked up in this and if I need to be like taking self
accountability somewhere. This is the situation, these are the screenshots in some situations. Like what do you think? And I think that it is so important for people to have somebody that they can trust in their life that's going to give them an honest perception and viewpoint from an outside source and not just blow smoke up their
ass. Because if you have a falling out and you asked me and you're telling me I and I'm like, well, you know, this was kind of fucked up over here, you would take that, you wouldn't be upset with me for saying that and you would process that information and vice versa. And there are so many people in this world that do not have anybody that is one that gives a fuck enough to be honest or two that isn't gaining something off of them by them being happy.
And the more people that we're kind of coming in contact with who have I don't know what the word is like followings or like are in a public eye or something like that. They're surrounded by yes Men. And it's so crazy to have those people be like wow, what a breath of fresh air that you guys are like honest and that you guys would like you know say things when I come forward and that we can have real
conversations or whatever. And so many people don't have actual honest friendships and and it sucks. I honestly hope that a lot of people start to find out who they really are and like what they want. Because you can ask people like what they want and they literally will name dumbass shit like money and stuff like that. But they don't know anything that they personally want on a
personal, like internal level. And I'm just convinced that, like, people are so. Distracted 24/7 that they just don't set with themselves and that's why meditation is a like something you have to take initiative with. And the same thing with like any approach to healing yourself or holistic healing or reflection. It's like you have to make time for it, period. It's not easy. And that's why you don't see everybody out here talking to other people about like spiritual.
I don't know if you can hear my cat fucking losing his balls in the background, but he was just fucking yelling at me and hitting my door. But that's why everybody doesn't do what we do. And why it's such a special thing to have people inside of your space that can provide mentorship for. How to self reflect. How to calm yourself. How to look within what types of
things needed to be healed. How to deliver messages from spirit in a way that isn't terrifying and having to have some crazy ass shock value and and something that I I really love. People point this out all the time when they get readings from us. But something that I really love about you and I is that when we're doing readings we have so many people now in our communities that they like piggyback.
Like they get things from both of us and they're like, oh, like this resonated with me. And then Paige said this and this resonated. And we have this ability to give people guidance and tell them about different paths that they could be taking and how they could be changing things and utilizing their energy differently while also complementing them for their strengths and pointing out the strengths that they have and helping them to utilize those in
a different way. And out of all the, you know, different readers and readings and stuff that I've come in contact with, it's a very like not to shoot our own fucking horns, but like beep fucking beep because there's so many readers and stuff who they want to provide you.
Not that they're not accurate with what they're saying, but their point is to he provides you with some type of a shock value and be dramatic about what they're saying and and whatever, and not even really give you direction with something, but just pinpoint that they know what's going on in your mind. And then they kind of leave you with that and you're like cool. So you've told me what I'm already thinking.
That's nice. You're intuitive on what I'm thinking, but you haven't actually left me with any direction and both of us want you to walk away from like your time with us being like, OK, this is my homework and this is like where I need to for the time being, defocusing my energy. And that's why men's worship with us is fucking bomb as shit. You should hop on the train. Honestly, I love giving people a little game plan, like in the Signs and Omens, a section of all my e-mail readings.
I always give people like a kind of A to do list of things they can start looking into, things they should watch, listen to, read, and it's always intuitive. Like, I will literally recommend books that I've never even read because that's what they need to read. So I don't know. I think that it's interesting when people just listen because it gets so much louder when you start hearing the call. It's real quiet normally, and you might sound.
And feel a little crazy in the beginning, but then once you listen, it gets louder and louder and louder to the point where like, you cannot not listen. You know what I mean? Like there's no other option. And that's why I think I'm so like flexible on this journey with like what comes next and what's being shown and what's being blocked and what's changing or evolving or
whatever. And instead of being attached to certain outcomes because I saw them being reality, I'm just more open to the evolving shift of reality. Like it can and will get better if you're in that frame to receive and attract that energy. Like I just know that what is for me will not pass me up and it is also like coming into my world because I am an energetic match for it.
So the less. Energy that I relate with are the people I disconnect with, are the people that have an issue with who I am. It's really doing me a favor by clearing my energy field and taking that dusty crusty with you and a lot like leaving me. Stagnant in that same cycle, perpetuating those similar bonds, trauma, bonds, karmic bonds, whatever you want to call it. With people you know you can stay in karmic energy your whole
life. And a lot of people choose to like, surround themselves with past partners because they're caught in that karmic cycle and they can't break that cycle. And when something new or something exciting comes into their life, they almost just. Naturally self sabotage it because they're so used to perpetuating a cycle of broken dreams and like anger and despair that they don't know what happiness or mutual understanding and like respect really means in a relationship or in a friendship.
Or you know certain instances like people are only willing to learn as far as they're willing to learn and you can't force them to change well. And also, people are expecting everything to People make a lot of choices on how it makes them feel as opposed to like what's actually good for them. And I think that's where people get fucked up too. Like people go into relationships because of how things make them. You know? I have like, it's all like giddy and whatever, okay cool.
But like what are the foundational pieces of who this human being is? And they really will do the comparison to relationships in particular. Like, I think that people will look at other people's relationships. And you know, if you look at like the comments under like Belly, Belly under, like Bunny and Jelly's videos, it really is, you know, oh, I wish that I had that. I wish that I had that.
But it's not about what they've gone through in order to be at the point that they're at. And everybody wants to have these like, picture perfect outcomes and they don't want to put in the work that it takes behind the scenes. It's not an amazing thing that you're going to just jump into and have this. I mean, maybe you're like one in a fucking trillion that just has this relationship that's perfect with no problems all the way fucking through.
But it takes hard work and it takes putting your energy into it. And you know, you giving somebody the advice of books that they should, you know, get during the reading or a BC&D. Well, what are you guys doing with that energy? What are you, how are you going to apply that and make a change? And I texted you about this. But when my sister was just here, we are in the car. And it was just crazy how this conversation happened.
So we're in the car. And Samantha Leah, one of her songs, comes on the radio or comes on my sister's playlist. And I was like, oh, you listen to Samantha. And she's like, yeah, I like her. And I was like, you know, that's my girl. I had her on the podcast and she's like, what? I didn't know that I wanted to show you her music while I was here. And I'm like, yeah, I know.
And I said, that's funny. I'm going to text her right now and tell her that you're playing her song in the car like, this is crazy. And then she, my sister goes, you know, while I'm texting Samantha, she goes, I'm just like super proud of you because think about three years ago.
She goes, do you remember three years ago, you had just gotten out of the hospital and I came and I stayed with you, And then you went into the other room and you had that, like, tarot, psychic reading or whatever with that girl. She said you walked out of the room and you said, I know exactly what I need to do. I'm going to start a podcast. And I'd never heard you talk about a podcast before or anything. And she goes and look now.
And she was trying to in her conversation, she was trying to point out to me, like all the different things and the way that my life has evolved in the last three years. And it, like, made me reflect. And then I sat there. I'm like, do you realize that that person I got the reading from was Paige? And she's like, what? Like, I didn't even realize. So my sister didn't even realize
that that reading was from you. And she's congratulating me on all these individual pieces of things that have happened since then. Either I've done or you and I have done together or whatever, and it just is really fucking crazy to think about. Like I could have gotten that, that reading from you and I could have been like, no, I can't actually do any of those things because I'm really sick and I got this diagnosis and I'm in and out of the hospital.
Like, I can't do that. But instead I was like, OK, you told me that I need to utilize energy when I have it. So on days that I felt good, I was interviewing three to four people a fucking night. Because I was just, I never knew if anybody was going to say yes again. I never knew if I was going to be too sick to do it.
And I wanted to have a backlog of episodes to the point that I still have episodes that haven't been fucking released from the interviewing people in the very beginning, because I was just so overwhelmed with the amount of people that I that I talk to. You know what's crazy about just like one move in the right direction? It really propels you forward. Like I love that saying like when people are like one step ahead and then I take 2 steps back or they use it in a
negative way. But what if you reverse that ideology and thought like with every step back I take 3 forward. So it always is putting me ahead rather than thinking about yourself being behind. And you know, I like to tell people like you're the youngest and the hottest and like the most, like healthy version of yourself right now as you're listening to this. You're the hottest you've ever been. You're the youngest you've ever been, and you are definitely the
healthiest you've ever been. And whether your mind agrees with that statement or not is going to be up to you and the way that you want to portray and project your energy. But I know one thing I don't associate with sickness, I don't associate with negativity, and I don't associate with drama and any of those things that people want. Want to be in their circle or in their life, That's up to them.
But I just know I don't want that in my world and I only want clients and people that have a mutual understanding that it takes 2 to tango. And like you've got to also put in your part of the work and you can always follow up and get validation and and do what you need to do to go next level.
But at the same time, if you're not putting in that same amount of energy, doesn't matter how much money you spend on tarot cards and crystals and classes and whatever, you're not applying that energy to your everyday life. You're thinking that something's going to still come save you. And like, that's where I think a lot of people latch on to practitioners, especially you and I, because we're so open with community style, like learning and teaching.
Because I do think the community aspect is what we've been. Involved of as humans because you know, it does take a village to really operate a successful anything. And unfortunately, people are so isolated and so selfcentered, it's hard for them to understand that everyone has their role and everyone has a sacred gift or multiple gifts, but that doesn't still take away from what you bring to the table. That's a that's a really big one and I think that people can.
The reason that I have like, taken on that, like cult leader, I say in quotation marks for those that are not on Patreon, The cult leader thing is because I just think that it's so ridiculous. Because inside like my soul and inside your soul, neither one of us feels like, wow, I'm really above you teaching you all the things and like, I'm way better
than you are. And here you are, a little grasshopper, having to learn the things like our that's what other people project on to us thinking that our thought process is. And for us, we are literally just always so grateful that we are able to be in a position to have other people trust us, to give guidance, to give messages that like, you know, that we're able to be gifted to help other people in the ways that we do. And our actual goal in things is
always like, oh, you like the energy that I'm exuding. This is literally a mentorship for how I learn how to do what I'm doing. And if that's the vibrational level that like, you're loving, here are the tools that I'm using to do that and what you can do. And so like, if those tools don't work for you and you don't like the thought processes or the work and the energy that has to go in for where we're at on our journeys, then we're just not the people for you. And it never has to be a
competition thing. Also, you don't ever have to even have like a falling out. If it just doesn't suit you, it just doesn't suit you. And and the mature thing to do in life is somebody's energy just doesn't. It's just not what you expected it to be. Maybe you see behind the veil and you're like, wow, I really thought that they were spiritual fucking Asheville traveling robots. And they're actually humans. And like, I was expecting something different.
You can easily just like say something nice and move on with your life and never have a falling out. But I think that people are not able to close connections without having something catastrophic and burning the fucking bridge in order to move forward. And I used to do that. It's like it's a very self sabotaged thing where then you get to do the victim mentality of I'm always by myself, nobody. I can never take anybody
seriously. I don't grow because everybody that I'm meeting is doing a BC&D well. If everybody around you is doing this, maybe you're the problem. Honestly, I think that's important in self reflection is to see how you activate and perpetuate certain cycles and allow them to be present. Because a lot of people want to be right. And what I've learned, I don't
need closure anymore. Like I used to think I needed like closure or needed like to know why someone did something or why something happened the way that it did, or I needed to put my last two cents in the jar. But instead, now, like, I think not getting closure helps me to just detach even more easily. Like to detach from certain situations when people expect it to distract you or get you worked up or upset you. It's so powerful. I think honestly, like the sweetest revenge is success and
forgiveness. Like not letting things. Change your spirit. Not letting things harden your heart and like, make you angry and bitter or make you like, you know, get your heart broken so you think all bad people or or everyone's bad or you know what I mean? Like, I think a lot of people allow things to turn them bitter when it's just one occurrence with one person or maybe multiple people or whatever. But it's like, that doesn't have to be a reality if you don't want it to be.
I used to feel, and even months, you know, up to the beginning of the year when we had that whole thing happened with our communities. I felt like I had to let people know, even if they mistreated me and they fucked me over, that like your viewpoint is valid, even if that's not my perception. And for some reason, I used to feel like I had to give people that permission that like their perspective can be right, even if it's wrong.
And I started realizing that it's just my way of trying to make it okay, that someone's upset with me for something that I didn't fucking do. And I just had to have the last word, even though it was absolute utter bullshit. Like you and I both know that you done fucked up and that you were being a fucking snake, but for my closure and like, my selfish whatever, I had to tell you it's okay.
And then to me what that does is it actually prevents somebody from having their own healing journey and having to take self accountability. Because now I've justified their actions by telling them that like that it it could be okay in in your perspective like you know and although we all are going to see truth from our own perspective is like everybody has their different versions of things and their different
perspectives. Just because somebody's perspective from their viewpoint can be right doesn't mean that their actions or the way that they went about it is the correct way. It just means that maybe they're not far enough on their healing journey, but they're able to self reflect and the necessary ways for these situations. I think at the end of the day, a lot of people don't realize that you're not going to be able to show up and understand
situations. If you're not ready to face the music, like if you're not really ready to see the truth, you're not going to see it. It's like I have just really learned the grace of just letting people stay in whatever delusional world or whatever illusion that they're in, rather than trying to prove my innocence or prove my character or prove my intentions. I'm just like, Okay. Now I think that disrupts people's peace more. When you're just like okay, this is, that's fine.
Like, no problem. Talk later, not going to hear it. I'm blocking you. I'm unfollowing you. Like that's so triggering. To people who like the confrontation, they like the drama and they like having the last word or, you know, disrupting your peace. They thrive in that type of environment. And that's what's weird to me. I refuse to have drama and bullshit with people. I've talked before like I'm not. I'm not going to put people's
names on social media. I'm not going to have responses to things like I'm not going to text you back a big, long list of what a piece of shit you are because you're having this. Like whatever response to things that you are, I will. More often than not, I'm going to take what you've said and Mull it over and get outside perspective too, so that I can understand where my learning needs to happen from the
situation. But I don't like the way that you handled it. I'm not going to move on with you. I won't have you in my circle. There's absolutely no reason for me to have any kind of closing conversation with you. I can hear what your perspective is. I can figure out how I'm going to grow and navigate forward, whether that means that I need to take, you know, accountability for something. And that's the fucking other thing.
Somebody if you decide to take self accountability in something and you decide that you want to make a change for future, you know, relationships, friendships, whatever, you don't owe telling that person how you're going to change or what you're going to take from it, or how you're going to move differently next time. Like they're not owed an
explanation for anything. For as far as they know you took their shitty fucking messages and you, none of it went to your head and you forgot all about it. It doesn't matter what you do with the information from their conversation because you're never going to move forward with
that person anyways. And a lot of people will sit there and and they'll try and like, you know, pick a dead horse or whatever and try and just keep on going over the same fucking thing so that they can explain like this is what I'm going to get out of it and this is what I'm going to do. Or no, you're completely wrong and that's playing it to me from an outside perspective of ICU going back and forth with the tit for tat thing. You fucking like the dramatic
energy. You want to be involved in it. You like that your stomach hurts and you have diarrhea because you can't stop fucking getting over the bullshit because and you laugh because you know it's true. People sit there with an upset stomach getting fucking sick over conversations, but they'll keep having the fucking conversations and making themselves sick like you're manifesting your own fucking frustrated reality because you won't move on. Well, a lot of people can't let
it go, you know what I mean? Like, just let it die, let it be put to rest, let it move on. But like, quit holding on and resentment and anger and like harboring negativity towards people because. At the end of the day, that's only hurting you. That's only going to hurt you in the long run. And I think that if anyone can take anything from this episode is like stop. Letting other people control your reality. Stop letting other people's energy and intentions towards
you. Shape who you are. Decide who you are, learn about who you are, and know that energy Regardless of who's around you, regardless of what you're going through personally, regardless of what is going on in your external world, if you have an unwavering belief and understanding of yourself, you will not be. You'll not be harmed in this process. You will be elevating. You'll be growing.
You will be really understanding each dynamic as it comes, rather than living in the lens of limiting belief or letting the past dictate your future. So I think, you know, just really getting clear on who you are and what you want is like the first step to breaking free of all of those paradigms that
hold you hostage. I think a take away that I would want people to have from the Episode 2 is no matter how you verbalize to people how they're wrong and how they ain't shit and how they done fucked up, they're not then going to be, Oh my God, you're right. I shouldn't have done that luck. I needed you to point it out to me in this very cunty, long drawn out message. They're not, they're not going to fucking take what you're saying to heart.
So don't waste your fucking energy and on that let's pull a human design card. Also, if you ever send me a long drawn out bullshit message, I'm just screenshotting it. I'm sending it to Page, I'm blocking you, I'm going to talk shit about you and then I will never think about it again and that will be my healing process. Thank you. That's not that we're all and up and up. I I won't respond to you. I will simply block you, talk shit about you and then and then yield and move up.
Okay. That's mostly a joke. Mostly it just depends on the circumstances. I think we've already gotten this one before, but must be fitting. Card 37 for the Chamber of Pearl. It's the ocean beating up against some rocks. The sinus Pisces. The gift is new vision and the Shadow is division. To honor the gift, we must first acknowledge our ever present equality. We are a global family built
from the same cloth. When we forsake our inherent oneness, we rely entirely on the false narratives of the physical world, division, deconstruction, power, and control. Accessing the gift means taking back your power and your ability to see beyond these limitations. It's an act of courage, as many people will be forever hypnotized by the allure of power. Detangling fact from fiction is
a lifelong endeavor. Finding balance within the polarity doesn't mean burying your head in the sand, but it allows you to see the world stage through a new lens. Become conscious to your own innate sovereignty, and follow your heart's direction. Salvage the Pearl and then your
shadow is division. This lower frequency state is characterized by outdated power structures and balances and worn archetypes of the Old World. When we're unable to see outside of our duality, we tend to favor one side, right or wrong, masculine over feminine, power over apparent weakness. The narrative runs deep. As a collective, we've often championed masculine models, equating force, hegemony, and the quest for power with greatness.
The pendulum must now excuse me. The pendulum must not swing too far in the opposite direction in order to repair division. Instead, we must call upon a union of both feminine and masculine energies, reconciling the collision within and moving beyond hierarchy, the perpetuation of war, conflict and separation within this global arena. Highlights are reticent to abandon masculine driven modes of survival that no longer serve the collective.
The first step is to heal this wound within us and witness our own contribution to the continuation of these obsolete systems. Exit the fun House of mirrors. The themes are duality, peace, healing, and innate power. The piece that I love the most is Exit the Fun House of Mirrors. Because anytime some goofy fucking shit pops off, I send page clown faces, circus tents, the ticket emoji to the fucking circus.
I send voice notes like if it's a fucking circus freak show, I absolutely we talk about it. So that just is perfection for ending this. I think as we uncode these illusions, there's just so much more to be revealed. And being grounded and knowing yourself will help you weather the storm, but it's not going to stop or prevent the storm. It's not going to stop or prevent the nonsense. Doesn't matter how good of a person you are, it does not hinder you or hold you. You know, like.
You're going to have to be held accountable, like no matter if you want to be or not at the end of the day. So I'm just grateful for everyone who does the work and that really does appreciate the process because the process is beautiful. Whether it's beautiful or not, it's beautiful. Yeah. I agree with everything that you just said. Over and out, captain. Love you. Bye. Love you. Bye.