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We're looking at like lollipops, pages, twirling it, hopping it, bopping it, putting it down, laying it down, throwing it back. You. Know it's crazy right now is I feel like I went through this like phase where relationships and like sex and just all those things were just like not important to me. And the more that I made it not important to me, the more now that people want to like, throw that thing over my way like too
many. And that's why I like when I did this little anonymous questionnaire, I wasn't expecting the response. I haven't gotten anything that has like necessarily super surprised me, but kind of 'cause I am shocked what people will say anonymously. I want to hear what people are saying to you anonymously. OK, So what should we go with? A surprise for me or because I have 8 unopened ones? Why don't you start out with the ones that you've opened, and then we'll get into the ones
that you haven't. You said something about. You wanted me to rate it on a scale from 1:00 to 10:00. So what about rating? So I posted the link the other day one time and I made it for Instagram and Snapchat. This one is just for Snapchat. So for the last 24 hours, you all, I've been letting Snapchat, which is the craziest place we all know, give me as much of their energy on this anonymous tip line. And so this time around, instead of asking me a question, I put tell me a secret.
No questions. So not answering questions. I want to hear your secret. I'm, I'm talking about you in a way. So someone wrote 12 hours ago via via secret messenger. I masturbate. I masturbate to your pictures pretty often. Your selfies, your feet. You are flawless head to toe. First of all, why are you not charging for your feet? I don't know. How does this make you feel?
I don't know where they found that at, but this is just one person, multiple maybe like 10 confessions have already said I masturbate to you. Now I'm saying the funniest things. Like one of my replies was do you love it or I don't know, I just like them saying all this crazy stuff back to them. So another one. Let's get a good one. I want to eat you out and do the tongue swirls on you while I choke you and I actually like that. I ain't gonna lie y'all.
So I replied back to that one and said I like that, but obviously probably not from that person. Wait, that so so it has to be somebody with long arms because to be down the because you got to reach up high, so it has to be somebody with long arms. So you need. To be over 6 foot. So if you're not over 6 foot, don't even put that theory out there. Yeah. So people started saying different things and I just kept saying like, prove it, prove it. And people like where do I prove it at?
So this is a this is a good one. I have a wife, but she doesn't know about my cuckolding fantasy. Any advice on how to bring it up? It's just an odd fantasy that I have. I'm just so confused that so how somebody has like that type of a fantasy and they don't tell their partner about it. Like that's like a major thing, like, hey, want to see you get porked by somebody else's, you know, missile?
You should tell somebody that. You know what's really crazy about this anonymous thing is this one says I would let you stomp on my balls for pleasure. You're my dominatrix and I know you have that friend who's a dominatrix and I'm thinking about hitting her up no shit and getting some lessons around here, 'cause I'm vanilla, Y'all like, I'm not a dominatrix, but I could be mean to men. Like I like being mean to y'all OK but I'm vanilla when it comes to like putting people on a
leash and and pegging them. The amount of people that said they want me to peg them is alarming in my eyes cause am I just giving big Dick energy? Is this what I can't find a partner? But do you want to do it? Would you do it? I probably would do it low key, high key, like. I'm not going to lie. See, my thing too is like, is that something that you would do for your pleasure or just their pleasure? I don't know. We'd have to find out. I'm into experimentation. I'm more like, I'm just
experimental. Like, I will try something once, but I may never do it again, right? Like I'm just even like that with drugs. Like I have an addictive personality. So I'll try things one time, like for real, for real. Like I'll really shock the audience. I and not even gonna front on y'all like 10 years ago I tried heroin. I didn't, I didn't like shoot up the heroin, but I did do heroin. So that's fucked up and that's a college memory that will take, you know, healing from.
But I literally will try a lot of things. And you know what's weird about that is a lot of people are like, Oh my God, you tried heroin once and you're just so addicted and see it's your life. And I just don't believe that, because that didn't happen to me.
But, you know, I don't know. I think there are a lot of people, though, who don't understand having like, self-control on things and who just have to completely never do something because they can't trust themselves to just stop doing it. Yeah, like ultimately a lot of people have like multiple personalities. That's all I'm going to say because some of these things that people have told me are amazing.
It's it's so it's so raw and vulnerable and a lot of people are like, thank you for being so open, 'cause I don't kink shame, like just 'cause I'm not into it. I mean that I don't think you should be into it, just not me. There's people that I wanna find this one that's really good about. Here's let me find it. It's so good. It's it's literally talking about putting their Dick between my toes and I just can't even there's been some good ones on here.
Like some good confessions are like, who are you? Like what do you look like and do I even like you? Probably not. People like I can set that up for you. I can set up this fantasy. I'm like, it's not really my fantasy. I'm just giving my opinion on it. Would I try it? Like, I'm not saying like, yes, cuckolding is all I want to do, but I'm not shaming and I'm not saying that your wife's might not be into it, you know?
But someone said, can I show you how big my Dick is, 'cause I want to put it in you and eat that ass bent over. I mean, get it, But I yeah, yeah, get it. I want to tie you up, spank you, spit in your mouth, choke you and look in your eyes while you nut all over this cock. I want to have full control over you sexually. OK, you need their number. Someone said that they were a virgin and they wanted me to take their virginity and I said.
That's the bond you don't need. He said I'll only be a virgin until I put it in. And a lot of these dudes are saying they're Gray, but they want to convert for me. And then other people are saying that they want me to peg them and it's their first time. Well, my thing is like, would you really want to be with a virgin though? Because then you have to literally explain how to do everything. Like, do you want it to be a teaching moment? Are you looking to be like mommy? I'm a mommy.
I'm a teacher. No, I'm kidding. I don't know. It's funny. It's really funny what people will say, though anonymously. It's been very entertaining. And then a lot of people are like, you should do these every other day. And I'm like, no fucking way. There's way so much energy that I have put into this that I'm surprised people aren't annoyed. But so many people are like, this is helping me heal because I've been kink shamed and you're not kink shamed and I'm like,
I'm not gonna kink shame. People like you might like that and I'm not. I don't know. I mean, it's weird that the only thing I think weird about it is people that want to try to set it up for me when it's really their fantasy and they just wanna pull me in or involve me into their their trade system and I'm like, I'm OK. Into their trade system. Did you read the ones that you haven't opened yet? No, no, I didn't. We have 8 unread bitch. I'm sitting down.
I got my blinky in the water. I'm ready to go, OK? It opened a few. That virgin one was one of them. But here's one You are quite literally one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, yet I've never seen you out. Love your energy and hope to one day get to know you somehow. Oh, that's. Sweet, I'm going to. Type Oh. You go out. No, that's right. You. Go to concerts. I go to concerts. Though they need to get into the same type of music as you and
then you'll roll through. How do you find a page at a concert? You know, someone wrote me through this and they said I saw you on with my friends before and I thought to myself, I should have went to that Jelly roll concert and then I didn't. And I I screenshotted it, actually let me read it so I can get it exactly right, 'cause it was cute. He said this is great, life's been really interesting, you all, he said.
I'm not gonna lie, I've totally seen you on some of my friends stories from like concerts and stuff. And I'm always like, damn, fuck, I didn't go to that Jelly show. OK Jelly, just bringing people together. We love our King Jelly and Jelly roll. Finished with 5K today and Bunny and Haley and Mimi and everybody did it with them and I am over the moon for my peeps. And he lost 50 lbs. And he took a nice bath.
And he's popping his shit. He's the hottest artist out right now and he's making people like Post Malone reconsider their whole career and just go ahead and go country. They're like, you know what face tattoos is in and country. Now I'm gonna come over there because he's the only one that looks like me over there. But if I come over there then I'll be turning heads from over here. It's it's a good system. It's a look at me system. And I I fucks with it. He he actually Beyoncé took his
lead. Now we got postie. Who's next? Who knows? Like, is it Lil Uzi Vert? Is it Tyga? We don't know. Like it could be Avril Lavigne for all we fucking know. Like. I thought, I am not a fan of the Beyoncé country thing at all. So by taking his lead, she literally was just like, oh you know, a genre I've never been interested in.
I've never done anything in country and it's crazy too how like people's music will go viral for it sounding like trash because people post videos making fun of it or whatever and and it still promotes it and it makes it to me like. So we're going to focus all of our time and energy on that instead of like actually good music. And which makes me think of like, I don't know if you've paid attention. I so, like, I guess there's like
Kendrick and Drake drama. And I only know it because Kendrick just came out with a disc song and I was like, damn, that's crazy. And I've never been a fan of like Drake or anything like that. And I just feel like there's so many people who are putting out like, better art, but because people have a big name than anything that they get put out is like idolized now and like on a chart. And people know about it.
As opposed to people who are putting in more effort and are more humble about what they're doing and are actually trying to create something and not getting the attention that they should get. You know, there's a lot of artists like that and that's why I like. I always rock with like independent artists and seem to somehow like submerge myself and their independent like following and click. And I do think there is a lot of
people making better art. There's a lot of people that are more consistent, I will say that. But Drake is in this era kind of like Little Wayne was. And I won't compare them as like far as like Little Wayne really is an amazing rapper who had fuller potential but was kind of bogged down by drugs and violence and just felt that that type of life. And I think that deep down a lot of people see like fancy stuff and like don't really realize that. Like that jewelry brand just let
you borrow that you like. You just have that on consignment, like you're giving it back. You don't even own it. And they sell you these lifestyles and things that motivate people to be like billionaire mindset or, you know, whatever. Like no one is humble anymore in a sense that everyone thinks
they're better than everyone. And I think a lot of the time that these rap battles or just Internet dramas or just like, whatever, is literally like because the Internet needs something to constantly be focusing on and then within the peer groups, even when we're not. Like, I'm not a big fan of either, but I like both of their
music. And when Drake, Drake has a lot more one hit wonder bangers that are just like so deep in his catalog that I'll be like, damn, I forgot about this song with Rihanna, 'cause it's 20 years ago, you know what I mean? Or 18 years ago or whatever. But at the same time, he doesn't write his own music. So you can't, in my eyes, be considered a goat of anything if you aren't writing your own
energy. It would be like if you know all of Bunny's satire was written by someone else, like there was just constantly someone else telling her what to say, it would feel unauthentic and eventually just feel robotic. And that's how most celebrities get for me. So I personally fucks with the people that are like doing their own thing or have like their own will to stand out and be different. And I think Kendrick has always done that. He kind of reminds of Russ.
I think him and Russ are like both in the game. They don't exclusively focus on women or flashy shit. They just focus on bars, being super flow, being able to drop a line very quickly off the Dome and look cool while they're doing it. And you know, like Russ is only like, I don't know, like 5-6 or something. And he's given big Dick energy at all times. And a lot of people can learn from people like Russ and
Kendrick in the situation. Because Drake, I do believe, is like more of becoming like an industry plant. Like just doing what he's told, just, you know, stirring up shit. Like I do think Drake's bisexual. I think a lot of these dudes are bisexual, bisexual. Not that I have a problem with it, but I just think people need to come out as it is and quit
fucking fantasizing about kids. Like the amount of people that it's coming out that like sexualized or groomed Justin Bieber is beyond me. Like talking like Katy Perry and there's so many Paris Hilton and just so many people that groomed him. And it just really has really been ruffling feathers for me lately. Because people are like, why doesn't Justin get ready? Why doesn't Justin do this? Why has he always got sweatpants and Crocs on? And his wife looks like I'm
supermodel, you know? Like, I don't know. I just think people, like, put these celebrities in a blender until they can't be spun anymore. And then they're just like dead on the inside. And they're it's like, you know, I used to love MGK and like his following and he was so cool, like when I met him ten years ago and hung out with him. He was such a genuine person who cared about the fans and things like that. And that's how he built his following.
Same thing with Jelly. And I love Jelly so much because Jelly's got it to the point, really, because of Bunny's partnership, that he doesn't need any deal that requires him to sell anything of himself or, you know, so do anything that he doesn't want to do and she doesn't either. And I fucking love that for them because a lot of celebrities don't have that choice. A lot of celebrities don't become celebrities unless they follow suit.
And Drake's one of those people. That's my opinion on it. A long, long version. I think that Hollywood too, just in general, like it's a lot of people who have sexual traumas and experience things there and who know. OK, well, the people around me have also had this happen or they know and nobody's helping me. Justin Bieber specifically, like, you know, if he was assaulted by Diddy and things like that growing up then and and these other people, other people around know and they're
all shaking hands and whatever. So it really feels like not only do I have to play the game and stay on this hamster wheel, but it's happening to everybody else. And so like if I say something then nobody's going to have my back because all of these people have like big influencer going to, you know, like not come out or whatever.
And I think that's a really sad place to be in when you fear the power that somebody else has and you fear that if you get yourself help or you speak up about something and then you really won't be taken seriously because this person has more money or this person has more people to speak up for them or whatever. And to add to that, like a lot of people are under contract, they sign non disclosure
agreements. I mean, it's very well known that, like, people like Beyoncé and Jay-Z and people like that like to hang out with them or party with them in a way where they're going to feel comfortable to be their weird Satanic selves. You gotta sign an NDA, baby like you. That's the thing about this. And what I also wanted to add to what you were saying is that term whistleblower is like in our consciousness just the last
year. And that's another way that the government gaslights people within the government or other organizations from telling the truth because then you get blackballed and then normally commit suicide, you know what I mean? Like, it's such a weird system that if you don't play the game, they just get rid of you. And that's what I think that keeps humans trapped here on earth for some reason, 'cause I just feel like it doesn't matter if you were Jesus or if you were Martin Luther King.
We've talked about it before. There's been a lot of people who are really had a substantial amount of power and proseverance. And I know a lot of people are cycling that video of Aaron Carter speaking on Michael Jackson where his mom tried to set him up to say that Michael touched him from whatever reason. And I think that. You know, I don't think Michael touched kids. I think he was touched as a kid, and I don't think he touched kids because I think that he
built his life differently. That's just what I believe. I think they, I think they did the whistleblower effect on Michael Jackson, like because when people have huge followings or huge influence, you are a threat. You're just a threat. So when you're not playing the game, in my opinion, that's why I just can't subscribe to a lot of celebrities. Like, I just unfollow them. I block them. I just, I don't want to see
their ads. I don't want to see their content like that's another reason I've gotten off TikTok. I just can't with people like they're doing too much sometimes. I had to take a really big break from I'm just now getting back into posting on my TikTok and stuff like that like regularly because I had to take a huge break. Like, it really affects your mental health to be seeing, like even just seeing people sharing their lives. Sometimes it just like, I find
it to be exhausting. And then also in addition to that, like actually being a content creator and whatnot. Like, I got to the point where I wouldn't just scroll because I was just like scrolling. I was scrolling because I was working. So even you know, I'm looking for sounds, I'm looking for ideas, things like that. And it was taking so much focus away from like focusing on doing readings and all these other things that I wanted to redo in the podcast room. Just like things that would be
such a better use of time. And now like, I feel like the timing of doing that was so important because the same time that I sat down my phone and stopped focusing on like those things and was like, OK, I'm going to cultivate like my home life is when, like, my daughter just moved in. And so we're having that transition and everything.
And like, there's so many healings coming through with that, but I feel like if I had been energetically overwhelmed, I wouldn't have been prepared and I wouldn't be as go with the flow on so many changes as I am now. Yeah, and also feel like you've really grounded your energy from like trying to start all kinds of things all the time or always being like trying to. You're like a generator with your ideas, and that's not a bad thing.
But I don't. I think you don't understand boundaries of like, save it for another day, like, save it for six months from now. Like it does just 'cause you have this idea and you've cultivated this, build it while you have the energy, but it doesn't mean you launch it right now, doesn't mean you launch it prematurely or you do something prematurely. I think you have so many good ideas that you're like, if I don't get these out there now, I
won't get them out there. And I just don't think that's true about you. From what I've learned about you over the last couple years, I think that you just got to know when the time and the place truly is to expand or to really open up to something that adds all this extra, you know, concern. Because I feel like for a while you were just doing everything, like you were going to start a
third podcast several times. It's like several times you've had the Grand Slam idea to start another podcast. And then you also are always like doing these classes. And I know people really like, but I think sometimes you need to like let people like integrate a little bit before like kind of anticipate, I guess will be a better word anticipate your next class rather than just like baby, we're on Season 3 next Tuesday. We know we're just scrapping up,
you know, like now. But next Tuesday we start again, like you just don't give yourself enough breaks. And I think that's important for you this year. It's like to really set in the moment and just be like happy that like you've built your TikTok up to like fucking almost 70,000 or whatever followers like you're doing it. Like, I'm, I totally took my foot off Tiktok and other platforms too where I just don't care as much anymore. You know what I mean? Like, I just, I'm just big
chilling. I don't care about, like, Oh my God, you can't go viral if you're not posting. I just don't even care, you know? I'm just like in a different zone where I used to be. I don't Even so much. I I don't Even so much care about, like I'm posting this content because I want to have, you know, this many followers. So I want to do this. It's more of like, I think it's really fun to create that way and like express yourself that way.
And I lost wanting to do that. And I think that a big part of that is like I was really overloading myself and I've talked about it before. Like I I was literally shocked when I started my business and people were interested. Like when I dropped Patreon and then all of a sudden people wanted to come over and do Patreon. I was literally shocked. I'm always surprised when like I'm working on something and I drop it and then people are
super interested in it like. And so I feel like for a little bit I was almost weighing my value and are people interested in these things that I find interesting And it stopped it.
It stopped feeling like I was doing things for me and it started feeling like, OK, well now I have overachieved in all of these ways and I've given these things so I need to keep on giving so that you're not getting bored or I'm not getting bored and like it doesn't feel like complacent And I kept feeling like I wasn't doing enough no matter how much I was doing. I just felt like I wasn't doing
enough. And realistically it's because I was looking for those things to make me feel super happy and make me feel like I was accomplished and I was fulfilled
and I was successful. And that kind of that pattern kind of started breaking and I got a new thought process when I went from doing my business full time to then going back into working in an office and doing my stuff on the side because it stopped being about doing it to make an income and more about, OK, well I'm going to do what excites me. And then I had to find that balance of spacing things out.
So like we finished the round one of Witchcraft class and then we have Class 2 and we decided that instead of just starting that we're waiting and letting time go by, you know? Yes, I'm proud of you. Sometimes you got to take that step back and just be like, you know what, I'm not going to evaluate myself worth based on what the fuck I'm getting done.
Because at the end of the day, if you're trying to turn the hamster wheel to make you happy, no one out there is ever happy because of it. I mean, and the best and most important person that does this the most is Elon Musk. He's the most miserable person in the fucking world. He's rude, he's bitter, He's not cute. He looks like, you know, like whatever.
It just shows you that, like, even with all the money in the world, you're not going to be happy or it's not going to make you all of a sudden a generous, nice, giving person. If you're not a generous, nice, giving person when you're broke, being rich or having things is only going to make you feel superior or, you know, arrogant or egotistical. And what really gets me about society is that we put so much weight on things, things that truly do not fucking matter.
And people cannot comprehend how to build real connection with people. Like, you know, so many people only know how to have a physical or an emotional connection with someone. They don't know how to have an elevated bond where you are truly supporting someone but you're not enabling them. Like if they come to you and you're like, I'm going to go marry this guy I just met on Tinder 3 weeks ago and he doesn't have anywhere to live and we're going to move to Utah. I'm going to be like hell.
The fuck no. You should not do that. And if you choose to do that, I'll talk to you in eight months when he runs off with your bank account and your identity.
Because he's a fucking psycho. You know, like you, at the end of the day, you need to surround yourself with people who are inspiring you, encouraging you, supporting you, and truly giving you space to be yourself, but not enabling you to stay the same and complacent and make the same bad ass decisions that you've been making since you were 19. And I think that's where a lot of people are trying to come
back around into my life. Like people that I used to be around when I was younger, like high school, college, and like early 20s people are cycling back in like hey girl, how you been? Blah, blah, blah. And some people like, I was really close with them at one time. So of course I'm going to be like, hey, you know, whatever. And it's always the same thing.
Like they see me elevating and doing my thing and they're like, sorry, I don't have as much clout as you or you're too cool for me. Now your fans, you know, I know you got all these fans now or just dumb ass shit and it's just them trying to gaslight me because they are a nobody. They haven't done anything different in their life. They work at Ford or a factory or somewhere. And I'm not. I love people that work out for it. I'm not saying that's a bad job,
that's a career. But they started, you know, 10 years ago and now here they are and all they do is get up and do the same thing every single day. And obviously they're not super happy with themselves, right? Like and a lot of people will gaslight you to be like, oh, you got all these fans and followers and you post too much or whatever.
And at the end of the day, like, they only wish that they had gotten out of their comfort zone or that they had people, strangers on the Internet, even supporting them. And that's what I love about the person I've became is like leaving behind that fear of being perceived. Like, like you said earlier, am I doing enough or people thinking they're getting their money worth or whatever I've changed all those mindsets from worrying about and are they
getting their worth? And am I receiving my worth? Am I holding the standard to my worth? Because a lot of people offer me things, but it doesn't mean that it's a good offer. You know, like the seven cups energy always gives me that vibe because in that tarot card, you know there's a snake in one of the cups and there's like a head in one of the cups and things. So you just never know like what
people's intentions are. But a lot of people are unhappy with themselves, so they come cycle back around and try to like see if they still have access to you or see how they can kind of try to bring you back midway down because they see you up here floating on a cloud doing your thing and they don't like that. And I and I love being able to just grow from that. You know, like, fuck it.
There are, there are people who also idolize because they only see what they see on social media and that's all they know about you. And so then they idolize these things about you without realizing that, like, you have a whole life outside of that and all these other, like, complex pieces of you and people who are like, you know, who do that on a
large scale. I imagine that that has to be so, like, frustrating and infuriating too to like, you know, like reality TV people, to me, I'm always like they they only get to share these, like, very dramatic moments of life. And so they get judged off these very dramatic moments of life, but not all the filler details that explain why they're in that mood that day or why they would feel triggered and why they would react that way. Or you know what I mean?
Like there, there's no behind the scenes details. It's only these few things. And that is just the perception that you get. And so many people like, I feel like base their life off of what they see in like reality shows and just in shows in general. And so many people that I personally know conduct their life like it's a soap opera and that like they don't need to take anything seriously and it can just be like fly by the seat of your pants.
And there is like some, there are some people who have like gypsy souls and who are going to do that anyways. But there are also people who just cannot be grounded in reality. Yes, I agree. I do think that social media has given people like a front row seat to strangers lives and how like people live. And I do think that when we actually connected in person and we're forced to like in the lunchroom at school or the break room at work or like at the car wash or whatever, that society
was just better. And I'm just going to be honest, it's always the boldest people that say things to me in person. It's never people that I'm truly, like, attracted to, right? Like, I will literally make eye contact with a guy I think's hot, like 14 times at the gym and they will not say a fucking word. And normally if I if like, I want to talk to them or there is something to say, I'll say something to them.
And I think that's another thing that intimidates guys about me is because like if if I see you seeing me, I'm going to say something to you, I'm not just going to let you leave and then be seeing you and seeing you another time, right? I'm going to say like, hey, what's up? Or hope you're like how you like, you know, I'm going to
acknowledge you in some way. So, you know, I know you're looking at me right now, like, I see you seeing me and I made eye contact with you more than like four or five times, right? Like, I will make sure that that person, even if I'm not, like, attracted to them, like I'll still be like, you know, what's up or whatever. But a lot of people are so insecure and on social media they live this lifestyle that makes them think that like they're doing whatever they're
doing. And I just feel like a lot of people need to go to their Community College and their city and take some public speaking classes, take some fucking writing classes, some real like learning curves for you. Go challenge yourself. You don't got to get a degree. Just take some fucking night classes, online classes, and learn how to get out of your comfort zone. Because not being able to interpret body language and social cues and things like that is the problem in society.
Because that's like a lot of people who are like autistic and things or different things that have evolved. I feel like a lot of that is because of the Internet and only having digital stimulation rather than true communication, Human concept, you know, like talking to someone face to face, reading their energy, reading their body language, It's like a
lost art. And that's the one thing about me, because I consider myself to be like, demisexual, meaning like, I have to have an emotional attraction and bond with you. Like, you could be funny, you could be smart, you could be attractive in some other, like, way besides physically. Or I can't even rock with you. Like, I could be just a sexually attracted to someone and not want to have sex with them. So you know what I mean? Like can be like, oh, they're hot, but, like, I don't like
them like that. So yeah, I get what you mean. People like assume. That I have this huge roster that I'm just like, at least, you know, hitting some people on the side and I'm just like gross. Like if I could find even just one or two people I actually liked, that would be a miracle. If I could find one Miracle 2 anomaly, that'd be an anomaly. So it's just weird, like. And that's why I have to just be careful about who I let into my life because of those energies. Working at this office.
So I've been here for three years and there's so many different personalities that I come into contact with. And there really are people who are like, like, you can tell that like, they're IT people and like all that they do is like computers and they stick to themselves all the time. And there's also people I come in contact with who are like the male population that I've come in contact with that like is very dismissive of me and talks to me almost like I'm dumb.
And I think we've talked about this at the front. But then they'll go back and they'll be like the most charming, funny, you know, commutative person when it comes to talking with the doctor and like, getting their appointment. And I'm just like, I like, what in the fuck? But there are, there are people who I think communicate differently and just have, like, different a different outlook on how they present themselves into the world.
And I wonder if people are, like, aware of the fact of how they come across to other people. Like, I don't know what it's like to not be aware of, like, everything that I say, 'cause I feel like it, I overthink it. And I'll go home and be like, wow, was I, like, really weird in that conversation? Like, did my joke make sense? Like you know what I mean? Did I like, like how would this
look on the outside? And I wonder if other people do that as well or if it's such a like abnormal or not popular thing to be very self reflective. Like is that just part of like the Healer's journey where you are aware of like body language and people's energy and maybe if people can't feel other people's energy then they're not like, hey, this is how my weird ass approach is coming off.
I don't know. I. Don't even fucking know what goes through people's mind because it'll be people who are just selling Audacity on the side for free. Then I'm like, I cannot believe that just this stranger or this person feels comfortable to, like, approach me in this way. But I've realized that, like, people are either balls to the wall or they're not saying
anything. And a lot of guys that I find conventionally attractive or, you know, I'm like, oh, you know, he has pretty eyes, he's nice, whatever, whatever. They're not confident in themselves. So someone like me who is extremely confident, scares people off because they're like, oh shit, like if a guy came up and grabbed my girl's ass, like, I I don't know what I would do. And like, I need a guy that's going to be like, what's up?
You know what I mean? Like, 'cause I have people try to disrespect me in public before. Like, that's why I like, I don't like going to concerts without people. Cause anytime I went to a concert by myself and and like, some guy in the crowd finds out I'm alone, it's like a radar. They like, just find me and they're like, where's your man? Where's your man?
Where's your man? And whenever, like, I'm trying to blow them off, they literally wait till the concert starts to stand as closely as possible to me and try to like touch me and stuff and grab me and shit. And like, it's happened multiple times. So, like, I understand that a lot of people are fucking disrespectful and I don't mind like I, the anonymous confessions, like they've been fine. Like what people are saying. Like I know people are thinking it like you're thinking it.
But at the same time, like people really need to evaluate themselves and like what they're going to do about the things they want. Because just sitting on the sidelines shriveling up, being upset because you're not getting the life that you want. You need to go out and get the life that you want and go live that life. I find it. So interesting that people get an opportunity to like post anonymously to you and all that it is, is like sexual comments and sexualizing you.
And I feel like if it's somebody who pays any attention to like what we talk about or like gets to know you. It's so funny how what people see on the outside for you is so different than what you have expressed on the inside. And I know that somebody has no interest except to like get to know you're like human vessel when they say shit like that to you. Because you have the chance to anonymously say and speak to like your soul on any level and
like show an interest beyond. And that's not an opportunity that's taken. Oh, there has. Been really nice messages. There have been people like very nice men and women saying very nice things to me. OK, good. No, it's not just been. All sexual, like some of them have been really nice. I got one. I have 18 new ones since we just talked on this. Yeah, No. There's, there's there's really nice ones. Yeah. There's ones that are like, you're so into being. You've changed my life since our
first Zoom meeting. Or there's people like, I don't think you realize how radiant your energy is and how you affect people. And I really hope that you can see how wonderful you are. And yeah, there's been some really nice ones. There's been a lot like I want you to be my Unicorn and I want you bad. And then there's been a lot. Like, you're amazing. I would give you all of my savings. You deserve the world. I would worship you.
So yeah, I know there has been a really good amount of amazing messages. And I like talking about things cause like people don't really get to know me on a personal level because I am only showing you all like a shield of what I want you to see. Like you don't know anything truly about my life. You don't know you you may know, like people that I'm friends with are like, I post pictures with and things like that. And I want you to know that
clearly. But if you paid attention to me in the last 10 years, every like three years my friend group switches up completely. And all those people I used to post pictures with, you never even see them again. Like, it's just like, boom, gone, you know? So I feel like now that I've brought people like you and Juber and more permanent people that I see me like growing and building with, it's kind of shocking to the people that I've
left behind. And that's why they're like, oh, you got fans and followers and you're living your best life and whatever. And that's because I've chosen to get out of my comfort zone and elevate, to grow further than just the people that I grew up with in the trailer park. You know what I mean? Like, get real.
Like I'm not trying to stick around and figure out what y'all are doing, I'm doing me. And it just shocks people whenever you're like, I'm gonna do me, regardless of like what you're doing or what you're thinking about it. But I do think that, like sometimes as the human journey unfolds, you, me, everyone, we can't really see how we're
helping people. We can't really see how, like, one reading is changing someone's life and that they're making different decisions based on something we said. And I think that's been the most enlightening and inspiring part of my healing journey, my sobriety journey and my transformation is that I went from being very pleasure oriented. You know, fun oriented, like the live fast, I young fucking motto kind of thing, to a more grounded, evolved, mature version of myself where I don't
need anything from anyone. I only want people in my life that are adding value and bringing value in a sense of like their presence and their energy and who they are and what they're doing in their world. Because that's enough a ripple effect of me. And you know, they say that you're the sum of the three to five people that you hang out with. Like you are the sum of those people, whether they hang out together or not.
When you add up all your friends like where you at and a lot of people are morally bankrupt and I can't fucks with it, like especially the people like, oh, I want to cheat on my girlfriend or my wife with you. I don't like that. Like I don't like that at all. But there's a lot of guys in this world that are so manipulative, and I'm just like, I'm the last person you're going to be able to manipulate. So this is going to stay in the fantasy world, I promise you
that. Because I don't get manipulated. That's why I stay in my lane, because people are like, I can't lie to her. Like, I like her. She's cool, she's pretty, she's fun, but I can't lie to her. And I don't like that. I want to be able to lie to my partner and a lot of people. That's why I don't have a partner. I think there are many reasons why you don't have a partner yet.
And I think that a lot of it has to do with how much stuff you're still trying to do for yourself and how much growth that you have and things that you're still trying to accomplish. And you have a very specific way that you need somebody to integrate into your world and you don't have a lot of flexibility for that. There's there's things that take priority and precedence for you and you're able to expand only
so far. And every time that you go to open yourself up more so that you can make room, somebody else is like, Oh well, I'm actually not ready for that. That's like a really big commitment that you would open up your life like that. And so I'm not ready to to jump into that right now. Facts.
Facts. And you know, honestly, I'm not even disappointed by those people for knowing that they can't handle me. Like someone that tried to hit me up in the past and they were like, I've never done some of the things that I've done for you, for other people, like other girlfriends, other, whatever. And I'm just like, does that make me special because you did extra for me or you did more for me, but you still fucked it up
somewhere? Like, bro, you know, like, I know y'all are all getting into your late 20s and early 30s and we're all getting older and people all sudden are like, you know who I did wrong? Who's doing really fucking good right now? Page. And you know who I should hit up and and apologize and gas her head up and be like? Damn, girl them cakes, you're the hottest you've ever been. I love your tattoos.
Like they know what to say because they know I have a good girl kink and I've said it before. So, like, you know, a praise kink is totally my thing. I love people like worshipping me and hyping me up. So, you know, hit my DM. No, I'm just kidding, But. People. You know, they come back in and they know things like that. So they're they're manipulate, trying to manipulate me. Because The thing is, it's like you've never given me the commitment or the energy or the
elevation. And then you come back and you try to be like, oh, but you stopped talking to me. And I asked him, I said, did I stop talking to you? Or were my boundaries being compromised and I just exited you from my life? And they're like, I don't know, you're probably right in all this. And I'm like, damn straight I'm right. I know I'm right, baby, baby, I know, I know. I'm locked in. I know I'm locked in. Can you finish us off with a? Card. And I'm going to read a confession.
I got a new one. Just came through. I'm sick. Read the confession. Oh, I'm. 6/6 I would love to take turns being submissive and dominant with you. Maybe that's Mr. Long Arms. That's. Fantasy, We got Divine. Catalyst as the card Card 25, the 25th is also my birthday of this month. Yes, and. The podcast, birthday and the podcast. Birthday This card is Aries and Pisces. The gift is Acceptance and the Shadow is Constriction.
This gift opens the channel for universal synchronosity to flow through you and acted as as a divine catalyst in your life. In order to do this, you must access your Sacred Wound and heal it through Acceptance. This is a gradual and often non linear process. To undo the layers is to free yourself from constriction. When you can accept yourself, who you are, your history, your upbringing, the door unlocks for you to accept the world around you exactly as it is.
This encompasses a soft approach to life, embracing the feminine energy of receiving. Be loved and also wait for the invitation when you may give yourself to another fall in love with the magnitude of the soul within you as well as the greater spirit of the Divine God universe. The shadow quality of this theme largely focuses on restriction, or anywhere you feel wound up and constrained.
Whenever we grasp onto things too tightly, objects, circumstances, relationships, people, perspectives, potential futures, we are cutting off the natural flow of energy and love. First, it appears in the body, shortened breath, tight chest tension, and then emanates outwardly. The constriction itself serves as a marker for for a pivoting point. Where can I unwind? Where can I apply more ease? When repressing the shadow, it appears in the form of ignorance or an inability to address your
own wounds. As it is denial that pain exists below the surface. When reactive, you might project this pain onto others. In either case, love cannot flow freely. This shadow is intertwined with the Sacred Wound and not formed by unresolved issues. To loosen, you must make peace with your past and release yourself from the layers of dense story surrounding it. Your themes are acceptance, softness, the past, and love. I'm obsessed. With the message you all, I hope
you enjoyed this episode. For those that want to tap in the podcast birthdays coming up, we need to make a little registry for podcast. We should do that. But our podcast birthdays coming up, I'm really excited about that. We're taking the month of June and July off, which I realized the other day how In Sync we are with Bunny because she's taking June off as well. Because it's a vibe baby. It's a it's a vibe.
Gemini season, cancer season. And also as we wrap up this season, we're going to do our finale episode as AQ and a anonymous Q&A. Then I'm going to post the link she's going to post the link to about the podcast. So all of the I want to cuckold you are going to be exempt. I'm sure you all still send a few if you all got any naughty things for Gemini. We might. We might read a few, but we're going to, we're going to just take questions about anything you all want to talk about
anonymously. And it could just be so you and I and Jim and I don't know who's asking this, 'cause I don't want ever anyone to ever think we're being biased. So, you know, we want to give as raw and real advice as we can. So it's going to be exciting, We will post more about it, and we will see you all next time in fucking candyland, baby. Bye bitches.