He says she's so sweet, man. Come on over. The rapper lit me like a lollipop lollipop lollipop lollipop lollipop lollipop lollipop lollipop lollipop lollipop swallow. Welcome back to another episode of Candyland and this week we are going to be answering some questions that were submitted online. Yeah, it was awesome too, because we made Facebook posts and we're like, what do you guys like?
Give us questions, give us conversations, things that you want to hear, like our opinion on, tell us different experiences that you've had, whatever, get our opinion. And I love that we're so different that whatever viewpoint we give is going to be probably different than the other person. Definitely, definitely. So let's start. Do you want to ask me a question from this list? Yes, I do.
Oh, I'm gonna ask you this one. After a breakup, have you ever secretly hoped your ex would fail or suffer without you? And what does that desire reveal about your own healing process? So I will say that in the past, I definitely felt like, oh, you can't do better than me or I don't know if your life falls apart without me. But now that I've learned like the energetic laws, I do not send that type of energy out to
anyone. Like there have been people that have harmed me, that have hurt me, that have really done some shady shit, but I just wish them love and healing because at the end of the day, hurt people hurt people and they bleed on people who did not cut them. And I just never want to send that back out. But yes, unhealed 17 year old me would have literally busted the windows out of your car, flattened your tire and not gave 2 folks.
Well there it is folks. I love your like this is what I would want, but energetically I'm going to wish you the best. So do you want me to ask you one of the relationship ones? Oh, you can. Have you ever felt like you unconsciously sabotaged a relationship to test how far someone would go to keep you, and how did their response change your viewpoint of them? No, I've never purposefully
sabotaged something. I think that if you're going to put your time and energy into something, you should be doing that and letting people show up the way that they're going to show up. I don't see a point in you changing your behavior or your character to make somebody act a certain way. And that goes like negatively or positively. Like, I don't want to be in control of like making somebody show up a certain way. I just want that to be the way that they show up.
And then I can maneuver if I like that or not. And I think that if you have to sabotage things in order for somebody to show you that they care, that's fucking wack. You know, with you saying that, I also have decided recently, like I'm just going to let people be who they are and then decide is that enough for me? I'm not going to go in here trying to change you, telling you what I want, telling you
what I need. I'm just going to decide like is that enough for me what you are already providing? Well, because The thing is that when you're constantly saying it, people can change their action and their energy to give you what you're wanting versus them showing up as they're going to show up and you're deciding if that works for you.
And I think that's where people get fucked up is they're like, oh, well, these are all of the things that like I need to be happy and then they get those things and then there's no more need to put in effort anymore. Or you also stop. I feel like you also stop appreciating things too when you're constantly having to verbalize it. It doesn't make it as nice and enjoyable when it's happening because it's only happening because you said something.
Yeah, like if I come home and I have to tell you to take the trash out or tell you to do things that should just be normally, like in your routine, it's going to frustrate me, which that goes back to why I don't live with people. I think that just helps my peace.
I do think though, that it's important to tell people when you appreciate things because that can go the complete opposite of like if somebody does do those things but you don't show that you have an appreciation for it one, and they don't know that you like that it's being done, and two, why the fuck am I going to keep doing something when I do it and you don't even care anyways? Yeah.
And I think a lot of men don't realize what women do for them in relationships until they're single and they're eating like pork and beans on a paper plate in their dirty ass underwear and they have no. Clothes awful. Yeah, like, no clean towels, no clean work uniform, and they're sitting there eating cold shit from a can because they decided they didn't need an oven anymore.
You know, Like, I just think so many people don't realize what women are doing and bringing to the table until it's removed. And I feel like in relationships, so many people in our age range are just codependent because of financial reasons. Like a lot of people are codependent on their partner because of a lifestyle. Because I've had women come to me and get readings and they're like, well, if I left my husband, my kids would have to leave private school. We would have to relocate.
I'd have to give up my car. I couldn't work full time, you know, whatever it may be. And I think so many people are afraid of the lifestyle change that comes with making decisions that you want to make. So multiple things, I think that if you are like trying to be getting into a new partnership, like something so that you so that it's not like this is all the things that the women are providing and whatever. And like men can't do anything on their own.
Getting people who do, do things for themselves and do take care of themselves, whatever and are changing what your standard and expectation is and getting out of the mindset of like, it's your responsibility to like just take care and, and cater to somebody else and like have them as your child. It should be your partner. And we've all gone through that.
So if like people are looking for new relationship dynamics, I think that's a really important one is like, you know, finding people who are sustainable on their own to be able to like take care of themselves. And then I've always said, I think that it's super important like on for me personally on finance things like I have always been a huge supporter of having separate accounts and having separate things and
pulling things in together. And that was one of the, and, and I've talked about it on the podcast. One of the biggest fucking benefits of like my divorce thing was the fact that I always kept my finance stuff separate and that wasn't something that had to be untangled. So when it came to like me getting a different place or me doing something, I'm a completely separate entity that's able to move and navigate and figure my own shit out and
have no entanglement on that. Not that you shouldn't do things together and pull money together and figure things out, but it shouldn't be that. It's I would be so uncomfortable with just one bank account that everything is done with. Like I, that is a personal thing for me. And I think that women especially aren't taught that like independence thing. And that goes back to like you, you weren't able to vote. You were only able to get a house because your husband had a house.
You weren't able to have your own finance and whatever. And we that just needs to be switched up. It's it's the codependency versus the partnership is a huge thing. Everything should be entangled in that way. But there's still a way for you to be a cohesive unit together as one, while still having your separate individuality as people, financially and
emotionally. Do you think considering that was truly just like 2 to 3 generations ago of women, that that is still being heavily taught and influenced to women?
Because I know, like my grandmother lives in a fear based mindset and whenever I was trying to like energetically help her untangle those limiting beliefs, like growing up and with parents that grew up in the Great Depression and just being like alive in the, you know, in those hard times has shaped my grandmother to really consent to limiting beliefs. Like whether she and my grandpa worked all their life and saved
everything or not. Like they've never been able to truly get ahead because they don't know how to manage money. Once they get some, they spend it, they gamble it, you know, they, they dry it up. So my big thing recently, my grandmother a couple years ago inherited a bunch of money and it was almost kind of like a manifestation that that happened the way that it happened because like my uncle literally left my grandmother everything like 12 cars a paid for home hundreds of
thousands of dollars. And me and my grandmother started having a little beef over that because she doesn't know how to manage her money. They both work their whole life they're in their 70s, but they still have 3 mortgages on their home because every time they get a little equity, they take out a second mortgage and they go gamble it or whatever it may be.
So I was just really triggered and I just was at this point where I was like, Grandma, look, pay off your house, get a new roof, get windows, things that you need for this home. And I don't care if you like the rest of the money on fire or if you gamble it or whatever you do with it. And at first she was like fighting me on this. And I was like, look, lady, you're going to pay your house off. That's not because I need to make sure that when you all blow this money that there's no more.
I'm on a fixed income, I'm struggling. We don't have food, you know, we're broke. So she did all of that. And I can just see how the stress has like left her body. Like me and my mom were talking about how her and my grandfather have more energy now than they did in their 50s. Because when you take money stresses out of an equation, the vitality and the expression that you can have because you're no longer stressed about those is like so different. And so now like they're out
popping their shit. Like they're out on the weekends. Eight, 9:00 And I'm like, where's my grandmother? Why is she not home snowing, raining out and about? Just. Doing the most and it's really mind blowing, but I, I see that as like a way that's helping my grandmother extend her like life force energy by not stressing about that. But I believe because she was taught that she's embedded that into my mom, which has made my mom very limited, whereas I had
used to feel those ways. But I've like broke that cycle because I'm not going to live in limitation. I didn't come here to suffer. I didn't come here to worry. I, I wouldn't have chose to come to Earth if I had to do those things. Like I'm not doing them. So my grandmother and them couldn't understand my like driven mindset before. But like, now all of a sudden they're like, OK, I get it. Like treat yourself, you know, like do something nice for yourself.
But you know, think money changes people. Yeah, but that's a part of that, like generational healing. Like people think about generational healing as being like the way that you're going to influence your kids and what you're going to change moving forward. But there is like generational healing from doing things differently and then showing, you know, your grandparents, your parents, whatever, how things are different.
There are a lot of things that I've done that my mom and my dad have been like, oh, that's not going to be a thing or you can't do it that way or you should do it this way, whether that be relationship things or, or raising kids or like my businesses. Like they just think that of them being like, oh, yeah, you're totally going to make an income not going to a 9:00 to 5:00 every day. And like, you know, like that's not something that they ever saw either. And so it changes their mindset
too. But you some people can only see and understand things that like they're witnessing themselves and they don't know how to think outside of the box and how to do things differently. And I'm constantly having to remember that so that I don't get like resentful and angry about certain things because people will only support you as much as they're like mind and understanding can let them.
And everything else is going to be a talking you out of it or a talking you down because they just can't fathom. And not everybody can think beyond the box. And just like for an example, when I started my business, everyone in my family was like, you'll never make money doing that. I don't know what you're doing. You're not going to leave your job, are you Like you're not going to give up your your job for this, are you?
Like so much fear based information was like being projected onto me. And I've really seen how my parents have like, awakened watching me decide against all the rules and doing things my own way, like you said. And now my dad completely went into retirement. He's getting 90% of his veteran benefits. When he was willing to settle for 50%. He was like, if I could just get 50, I could maintain, I could get my insurance, I'd do good. And I'm like, dad, you served
our country. You busted your fucking ass. You never my dad. I had a full ride to college to play football and went to the Army and said because he had no guidance, no support and no one to back him and push him to do that. And I know he regrets it. Like I know he has regrets. So now my dad has been able to like, take his power back. And like the last year, he's been able to like, recalibrate and nap and relax.
And like, now my dad's like eating gummies and smoking and like chilling and growing his hair out. And I don't even know who he is. Like he's became one of my best friends. Like we have gotten so close as he sees what freedom I was talking about. Like why are we settling for 50 when we could get 90? Like, you know, why would we settle? And that's what I kept telling him, like stop putting that out there that you're willing to settle for that.
Like non negotiable. You are entitled to this. He's not asking for a handout. He served our fucking country. He put his life on the line. You know, he deserves these benefits and this insurance and he just couldn't wrap his head around that reality. And now like a year into it, my dad's like he's sold. He's sold like so many of his possessions. He's gotten rid of all of his like, garage collectibles, all of his Harley stuff.
Like he's just decompressing and releasing attachment that I feel like so many people don't realize is ruling their life. Yeah, but that's also due to the fact that you're telling him what his worth is and then supporting him standing on, hey, I'm worth more than this or I've done this. It's not inconvenient for me to want to do this or, or I do
deserve this. And that is its own thing altogether aside from like the monetary like game that he's getting it. And whatever is you being like, these are all of the things that you've done and the way that you know, the effort and the energy that you've put in and the way that you've influenced things and taking care of other people and whatever. And This is why you deserve this
like small piece back. And that comfortability and confidence in somebody's self is so needed to be able to do the types of work that you and I do with doing things for ourselves. Not just like a, you know, on a spiritual level or whatever, but just on a fucking business level, believing that you're able to do something and being able to put in that time and
energy. It's, it's like always funny to me when people think that like if you're working for yourself, then you're taking like an easy route or like, oh, well, that's like, you know, whatever, because you're not going to work every day. And so like you don't have responsibility. And I'm like, I will literally be sitting here recording something at 9:00 at night because, you know, I'm maneuvering around kids or other things. And, and you don't get a fucking
break. If you're working for yourself, you're constantly figuring out how to do something different and do something better and, and what that looks like. And then fucking stressing because you're in charge of all your shit. You don't get to just go, Oh, OK, well, I know that this is exactly what I'm going to be making this month because of this. Like they're that's not a thing. And it's like a, Hey, I got a hustle and grind because this thing came up and now I've, you
know, whatever. And we've talked about that before because people will get upset sometimes about pricing of things or like what we charge. And, and that's anybody, there's a fucking people selling crazy shit for crazy ass amounts of money that they're hand making. And it's because of all the time, energy and effort that's going in behind the scenes what they're doing. So, you know, sometimes you look at somebody and go, Oh, well, you're charging a whole lot for
thought. Well, yeah, you have no fucking idea how much energy and time goes into it behind the scenes and the fact that we are have real fucking lives that we have to pay for. And the answer that the thing about being in business is like I can attest that like last year I had this big month in September like Bunny re shared my interview and it sold out my books for like 3 months.
So I literally made all the money that could be made in September but there was no more availability in the other months. So therefore October was like a $300.00 a month, November was like a $400.00 a month, you know, but all of a sudden in September, it like was more than I had made almost the whole year in one month. And that's what people don't realize. Like you can invest in yourself and you can do everything right.
And then say you sell 10 small items that that sell up your schedule versus the 10 big items. There's no way to average like, oh, I'm going to book $10100 readings this month and I'll be good for rent. No, because people might book $1050 readings and take just as much as your schedule and people don't realize that. And I think that with spiritual services in past lives, it was very much on a barter trade kind of thing, like the medicine woman and the healer of the community.
It was very much on trade, like the healers of the community did not work. Y'all. Y'all traded and murdered. Y'all brought me food and wheat and whatever was available and we traded and bartered. And that's what I think people in the spiritual arena a sell themselves short. They think, oh, I've got to help people. I'm being selfish. I've got to give, give, give. And then we drain ourselves or there are like way in their ego and just way out there.
Like I'm sorry, no one on this earth is worth $500.00 for 10 minutes. I'm sorry, you're not worth it. Not worth it to me, Not worth it to them. I'm sorry. I've seen people talk about like 10 or 15 spells for $6000. Not worth it. You do you, but not worth it. I don't give a fuck what the results are. I don't care if Marilyn Monroe is going to come down and speak to me after you do that lower. It's not worth $6000. But some people do that because
they want to work less. They don't really want to provide value. Like. If I price myself out of the range of people who really need my help, people who are really struggling that I am a fucking selfish person, mainly because I'm putting myself in this utopian arena that's like, oh, you have to be really on your shit to book with me. Well, those aren't people who really need us, you know? So I think the evolution, like I have a $33 reading all the way up to a $200 reading.
So I feel like I am hitting realms like where everyone has access. But The thing is, is like, people don't realize what goes into that. And if I do 5 or 6 readings in a week, how that affects my mental health, People telling me like, I was raped or I was this or I was that. Like, it's heavy. You all. It's not just like, oh, puppies and rainbows, you're going to win $1,000,000 this year.
It's like, yeah, my dad beat me until I was 12 and now I'm suffering still, you know, Like, that shit weighs in on you. And people come to us in vulnerable moments. And I just don't think you can put a price on that. But if you go way too far out of the realm, you're not going to help people. Either. It's way easier for me to like, give time and energy to those types of like traumatic energy things too, when we're having a
mutual energy exchange. What, as opposed to like I get people who will inbox just the longest, most traumatic fucking tale. And I used to read it and be like, Oh my gosh, like, how can I help? And, you know, whatever. And now I'm like, I look at your message and you know, I skim it real quick and fuck that.
Like because that that is it's literally fucking rude to me when people will message a stranger or even if you know me, but you know that I'm doing something as a service and you're like, I'm going to tell you just the most crazy ass traumatic fucking shit. Take time out of your day and your energy. Have you thinking about this crazy stuff and then not prioritize your time or or whatever. And I, I like the clients who have like real shit that they're working through.
I like that a whole lot more than the people who do want the puppies and fucking rainbow thing. Because everybody's been through something. Everybody has something going on. If you get a reading and your fucking gum drops and rainbows the whole entire time, I know that you're not actually doing any of the work that you're trying to do for your healing
journey. So it makes me really feel like you just wanted something surface level and somebody to be like, you're on the right track and you're doing fucking good. And there are people that really like that. That's an easy client. That's super simple. You and I are not easy fucking people and we're not easy client people. We like the like darker souls and being able to help like with that healing journey and stuff. But that only happens when people are willing to show up
and be vulnerable about things. We're willing to show up and be like, you have my full time and attention right now, all my energy, like, let's talk about that. But some people cannot show up and be present for themselves in that way and be able to like be open and expand. So if you guys are listening and you're thinking like, oh, I really do want to get readings or whatever, it's not a scary
thing to get a reading. But if you're going to get a reading with either one of us, that's going to be a like look at things from different situations and you actually wanting to improve things and do better versus we're not going to be yes men. We'll hype you up, but we are
not the yes men type of people. Yeah, I think what I love about doing readings is like the vulnerability that I can have with a stranger, like meeting someone on a video chat for the first time and have an hour with them and, like you said, giving them my undivided attention. I'm not checking messages. I'm not looking over to the side. Like I am focused on our conversation.
And I feel like that's such a testament to my personal journey of like feeling alone, feeling like people didn't understand me, and then being able to sit down with a stranger and just read their soul blueprint like a book and be like, hey, this is what we're doing this. You need to stop talking to yourself like that. You can't let this person
manipulate you anymore. And the whole time I can see the look on people's face because they're like, holy fuck, this girl is hitting everything that I'm feeling. And sometimes I think people keep the walls up with the people close to them and they don't know how to be vulnerable and they don't know how to be seen because a lot of the times the people in our life will dismiss our feelings.
They'll say, oh, you're just being dramatic or oh, you're that's not a big deal or why are you making that a big deal or something like that. And I feel like sitting down with a stranger and having that stranger like validate you and see you, it changes the way that I view the world because I see like a, we're not alone. We're not as different as we may think. A&B. There is a way to bridge the gap between the unknown.
Like just because we don't know each other doesn't mean that spirit or the angels or ancestors know any boundaries with that. Like you do an energy change. We set a circle, baby, and it's ready. But I think so many people underestimate what being completely vulnerable and open to the session means. Until somebody has had that type of work and that type of session, though, I feel like it's really hard for somebody to be prepared like it there's, there's not really a way to
explain. And so, you know, I'm sure you get it too. But people ask me like, what do I do to prepare for that or whatever? And I'm like, just come to the appointment like completely open to whatever happens and whatever. And a lot of people, instead of just being open and being like, OK, these are the messages that are coming through whatever.
And these are the areas that this makes sense and that like I feel vulnerable in. It'll be, well, this particular part doesn't make sense to me or I don't know what to do with this particular piece. And they like cherry pick out. And that's a part to me on focusing on the negative instead of focusing on the positive things that are happening.
And that is something that like I'm working with my son on on readjusting his thinking to things and that I'm working on really hard too, is. And if you focus on all of those things, if you go into the reading and you're focusing on the 20% of what isn't making sense to you in this moment, the other 80% of bomb ash shit that I just said to you goes completely over your head. And then what did you just spend your, you know, $100 or whatever on for this reading?
Because you are so focused on what you didn't get out of it versus all these other areas that you could be like, damn, I need a little bit of expansion on this. Can we talk about this? Can we talk about that?
And outside of readings, that's something like that is really pivotal and changing your instant reality is you don't have to be like, I want everything to be positive all the fucking time, but shit's going to really fucking suck if all that you care about is all the negative and trauma and things that have happened versus the positive things out of it. You can have a bunch of trauma and chaos that you've been through, but what are the lessons that you learned out of
it? And how are you applying that to move differently? You can have really shitty toxic relationships. What are the things that you learned about yourself out of that or that you you know that you would want different? And then how do you apply that so that you can start changing things? And that's where people get on these fucking cycles where they're constantly like, is it a karmic cycle? Is it whatever? No, you just don't fucking heal
past anything. And you're thinking about all the bullshit all the time, so you can't see how to navigate differently. I think that so many people go back and get advice from people who don't have your best interest in mind that benefit from you not having boundaries. You know, whenever I was going into my spiritual journey, the people from my past, especially people I was close with, really started to crank up the projections.
Like I remember people being like, just because you read Tarot doesn't mean you're better than me or just because you give me your old clothes doesn't mean you're a good friend or just because you helped buy my kids Christmas, it's not good enough. You know, like I've helped people that I would never publicly tell people, Oh, I helped them or I did that for
them or I bought that for them. But at the same time, it seems as if people, the more you get notoriety, the more that you are confident, the more that you are being seen out in the world in ways maybe they wish that they could be seen. It's jealous and envious. And it's always the people who are closest to you when you were at your worst that don't
necessarily want you to grow. Because I've seen a lot of people, monthly clients, like, have to move on from relationships either with their mom or their partner or their
sisters completely. Like no contact with these people because their partner doesn't support them or their mom keeps them small or invalidates their feelings or their sister steals from them or, you know, wants money all the time or whatever it may be. There's so many things that in our life we come to terms to accept that is not good behavior. It is not quality relationships that we're settling for. And I feel like the most important thing is understanding that being alone doesn't mean
that you're lonely. I think that if you constantly have the same group of people and you're never outgrowing people, it's fucking weird. Like there's, there's different types of people that you're going to have and there's people who are going to be like, you look up to them and that is like, and energy that you haven't attained yet and you appreciate certain things about it. And you're like, damn, like I, I like this.
I want to level up to this, whether that be like this person is a homeowner and this person has great credit and this whatever. Like, you know, that's something that you, you're inspired by that person. It's an inspirational person on an energy frequency that like you appreciate and you want to work towards. There are people who you're going to outgrow and be like, OK, well, I used to be friends with them and they don't level up at all. I'm working on all of these
things. I have to leave that behind. And that is what you're talking about with the like having to cut off sisters and moms and whatever because they don't grow. And then you have the people who are working on themselves too and where your energy, it's not always at the same time that you have that energetic grow up, but it's the fact of like you guys are in tandem working on doing
better for yourselves. And so you're able to constantly be like, you know, helping each other and boosting each other up. And you're always going to have those three different dynamics of people around you. Regardless of how often you're cutting people off, there's always somebody new who you know, you shouldn't give your time and energy to. And I feel like that's a
constant lesson. And it's not, it's not always, you know, made known to you that they're pulling you down or whatever until you do cut that off. And you're like, holy fuck, I gave so much energy and time to this over here that I couldn't see all of these other dynamics here that I could have been putting my time and energy into. And I think some people just like a lesser version of us,
like they just like you small. Are they like you depressed or they like you doing drugs or they liked you when you were broke or when they were doing better than you. And I think what is important to remember is that your growth is a constant reminder that they are staying the same. It's a constant reminder that they put you in a box that you have exceeded past that you have just completely went out-of-the-box and prove them wrong.
And I honestly believe a lot of women are like decentering men from their life, like they're decentering needing to be in a relationship or needing to have a partner or needing these things. And then you get to set with, do I actually like this partner? Do I actually love this person? Is this person bringing value to my life or is it just comfort? Is it just physical? Is it just monetary or whatever
it may be? And I think that as anyone who grew up in the 90s, like between Disney movies and TV, men are centered in a woman's life as being the most important thing. If you don't have a man and you don't have children, you ain't shit. And that's what Disney has pretty much told us. I mean, every story, whether it's Pocahontas or whoever, men are in the center of the storyline. And it's always about some man,
some man. And I just feel like that washes little girls to think like if they don't have a man, that they can't be happy. And I think I also felt that way for a long time, Like what's wrong? Why don't I have a man? Why? Why haven't I started a family? But then when I got like a little more grounded and centered, I started seeing that it was actually a blessing because most people ages 30 to 35 have already had a divorce. And I'm like, I statistically
have avoided my first divorce. That's pretty much what I'm feeling because collectively it's a big percentage of people that are getting divorced in those ranges. Yeah. But something that you something that you do have and have done that I feel like a lot of people don't figure out until their 30s is that you had very or you have
not had. You currently do still very specific expectations and requirements of things that you're not willing to budget on. You know exactly certain things that are very important to you inside of a partnership and you have a certain place that you are wanting to be at for yourself in a certain way that you see your life going.
You've had that at a younger age than most other people because most other people have to go through trials and tribulations in order to learn those things about themselves and in order to learn those types of dynamics with other people. I, I feel like that was my thing for myself. I had to figure out the things that are like hardcore values and expectations to me and like requirements of myself, of other people around me and also figure out like what type of
friendships do I want to have? Because outside of like that, that's fine and dandy inside of like romantic relationships, but it's just as important inside of personal friendships that you have with people too. To be like. This is the requirement that I have inside of friendships and the way that I want to feel when I'm around my friends and the types of things that I want to do with friends and the way that, you know, I want them to support me and show up.
And that I think that the friendship aspect has been harder for me than anything else. I've gone through a lot of different friends and, and a big point being that I've put myself and it's a, we've talked about it before and you fucking roasted me for it recently, but it's the fact that I put myself in the position of, oh, I can help you with that. I already have, you know, this business established. You do AB and C.
Let me do everything for you. There's a difference between supporting somebody doing something and figuring it out on their own and being there and figuring out how to like help with that. And then being like, oh, you literally like, I'm fucking baking a pie and you can't even, you know, grab the flour. Don't worry, I'll do everything. I'll bake the fucking pie. And then you could put your fucking label on it and say that it's yours.
And I think that's a trauma response of like, not feeling included. Yeah, bitch, I got trauma. Like not feeling included in the past. Like you built a community where in the past I feel like you were more isolated. Like you had your intimate close friends and close knit family members, but you didn't have people on the Internet looking at you or talking to you or judging you or praising you. You didn't have any of that.
And I think that in the past, you couldn't see your own light until you started to show it to the world and people were like, wow, your light is so bright. I can see it. And I think that instilled confidence in you that you couldn't get from people in your life because they benefited from you being small. They benefited from you being
less than. Just like some of the comments we won't name drop that people have said to you like, I never thought you could do it. I didn't think you would be able to do what you did. That comes from their insecurity and benefiting from your lack of confidence. Because the moment that 160,000 people were like, we fuck with this bitch, other people in your life really started to get triggered, really started to feel some type of way.
And I think that's a testament that some people fall in love with a lesser version of us or they are more comfortable with a lesser version of us. I know when I used to have like an eating disorder and be really like hard on myself, I would allow people in my life that were not good for me, people that would bring me down, people that would manipulate me. But then when I started taking my power back from that, those people were so triggered. So triggered.
And that's where the shade and the comments of like, you're better, you think you're better now and all that. I never said that. I never said that I think I'm better. Just because someone else in the world is recognizing that I have value doesn't mean that all of a sudden I think I'm better than people. But I think so many people seek outside validation even if they think they're not doing that. Yeah, I think it's, I think it's
like an act of ignorism. Like I don't think that people are doing it on purpose all of the time. I don't think that people go, oh, well, I really like the small version of you because of whatever. But it's true. Like it's, it's easier to, you know, have somebody around if they're not sharing their big opinions with you or it's easier for you to feel intelligent if I'm not, you know, talking about things that you don't understand or have a comprehension of because it makes you feel feel,
you know, unvalidated. It's easier for you to be comfortable about something if if the person doesn't leave the house and you never have to wonder what they're doing as opposed to being like, OK, I'm going to trust that they're out there doing what they're doing. I'm out there doing what I'm
doing. When we meet up at the end of the day, you know, so there's all these that, but that goes back into what we were talking about earlier where I was saying that a lot of people have to have these experiences, relationships, friendships, whatever, in order to understand like, this is fucked and I don't like it. Whereas for you, that's just something that you already know. You see everybody around you having these experiences and going through these things and you learn that way.
I don't learn that way. I have to be in the fucking trenches and getting my ass beat in order for me to be like, oh fuck, I think I don't like this and I should maneuver differently because I'll just sit there for a second and be like, Oh no, please stop kicking me, you know? I think women are just taught to settle like it doesn't matter if it's relationships, workplace. That's true. Fact harassment, you know, I just think women have been taught to like lay down and take it.
And this generation of women are like, no, fuck you, I will cut your Dick off and make a smoothie pitch. You're like, I have no time for this. So I think there's just like, never been women like this before. Like there's never been like trailblazing women like Bunny and biking Barbie and these people like, you know what? Yeah, I did drugs. Yeah. I bounced back. Yeah. I'm sober, bitch.
What you think what you know, you know, like people aren't used to women having like those redemption stories that are inspiring other people. And the one thing that I love about women like that is they don't put other people down. They don't tell other people. I'm only better because I'm better than you or I'm on this pedestal because you all are beneath me. They're like, no, you can come up here too. Hey, let me show you.
Hey, let me give you a hand. And that's what I love about this generation of women that's coming through right now, that's having babies, that's raising children, that's doing the things we're doing because we're breaking the mold that has been instilled in the last three generations of women that you have to submit to a man. You're nothing without a man. You have to be at home. You have to look prim and
proper. And, you know, whatever it may be, I just feel like right now, women have taken their power back. And that's very triggering to the collective society that has benefited from us not recognizing our power. I think that as many men that are bitches and can't tolerate women like that, there are also men out there who don't want weak minded women and women who, you know, feel inferior and and whatever. And I think that it goes both ways.
I think that there are just project people who are project people. And, you know, I think that it's really stressful on men too, to have the dynamic that they've had where they're the ones who are supposed to have the income for everything and they're supposed to go out and make sure that all of these things happen. All of these things are running and be the protector and do all of these other things. And then, you know that they're just supposed to be provided for
and taken care of at home. And that's how it's supposed to be. And that's the dynamic. And, you know, and also, I just think it goes both ways. And I, I think that if you're trying to have dynamics where you're changing tradition, you have to be with people who are also trying to break that same tradition. And it can't just be you trying to make all of these changes and then being like, well, how come they're not showing up in these
ways? Like, and that's where I think that there's a problem is I think that there's not enough communication ahead of time too on world building.
People just start dating each other and go, oh, I like you and I like you or whatever and not have like real deep conversations about like what life looks like and what your beliefs are on things and like how you would raise kids or, you know, And those are like really important fucking conversations to have that people don't have because they're uncomfortable
conversations to have. And that's why it does take, you know, people having multiple relationships or whatever in order to figure out what's going to fit, because that's fucking life experience shit. I got 2 points on that. For one, I don't understand why in this day and age people can't just be cordial, break up and say hey, this wasn't working. I've outgrown this, I need to move on.
It always has to be a debacle. Like it seems like there's no way to like make a clean break in this society. It's like, Oh no, I have to hate you. Oh no, I've got to bash you on Facebook. Oh no, fuck you. I'm going to tell our kids and our family what you've done or whatever it is. I feel like so many people can't just make a clean break. And then to add to that, so many people are having kids with people that they don't really like who that person is at a
core level. Like, they may like you on a surface level, they like what you bring to the table, whatever. But I feel like so many people get wrapped up in people and then later realize that their morals and values and things are very different. And you need to be careful about that. Because like, after I had the pregnancy scare, I was like, you know what, fuck this. I'm not going to make excuses for people anymore. Like if you're not checking the
boxes, like you're out. Like I'm tired of trying to carry the weight and balance the scale for another person. And I think that so many times women have children with people who end up putting all the burden back onto them and then act like they're perfect, like they're doing everything they can. And I saw something on Facebook and it said I love paying $400.00 in childcare a month because who else can I have a full time babysitter for $400.00
a month. And I. Want child support? Yeah, I saw. That like some guy was saying that and I just thought to myself like that is what men think. Like let me put the burden on her. I'll give $400.00 a month, see my kid twice, and tell everyone on Facebook how good of a dad I am.
So yeah, the first part of that is I think with the debacle thing after breakups and stuff is I think that people just stay inside of things longer than they should, trying to make something work that's not working. And then that's when you start to have resentment, especially if like you're already being treated poorly. If you stay inside of a dynamic where you're already being treated bad, it doesn't give fucking better. Like at no point does it get better.
You you know it, it keeps getting worse. And then you keep on having more and more reasons. And if you tolerate being mistreated or disrespected and you let it be known that like that's something that you're OK with and that you're going to tolerate, it just gets fucking worse because that boundary that you have just goes down and down and down. And the more that you're like, no, it's fine. And you just brush it under the rug. Eventually there's no fucking
rug there. It's just a bunch of shit. And so I think that's why that happens because like personal experience. So let's not fucking do that. And then, you know, and I, I want to say so many things to the point that you're making, but I also am just like trying to be really careful about how I say things because like eventually my kids are going to listen to things, you know what I mean? Like I have personal experiences to like back up what you're saying.
But you know, I don't ever want to drag somebody or ever have my kids hear something. So I just want to be careful how I say it. But I think that people can change, like people can show up being a certain way or, or saying a certain thing or, you know, you have a certain expectation of something and just things that evolve in life change people. And some things change people for the worse or change them for the better.
You know, some people go, oh, well, I was raised this way with my parent beating the fuck out of me. I'm going to either keep doing that or I'm not going to do that. And those types of situations, that changes the dynamic that people have as parents. If you go into something and you go, Oh yeah, well, you know, we were beat as kids, so that's not something that we want to do. And then one of the people is like, I'm going to be emotionally responsible and help them understand their emotions
and their feelings. And the other parents, like my dad used to fucking sock me in the face. So you're a little bitch, I'm going to hit you, get back up. You know, those are things that you can't predict that that's how it's going to unfold. You have the best intention. But then when you have real life situations come up, people are are going to fucking change. And that is fucking difficult and something that again, one of those things that you can't
fucking figure out. So you have life experiences. Yeah, You really don't know who people are. I feel like until they go through something traumatic, a death in the family, they are struggling with money, having personal health struggles. Like that's when you figure out who the person that you're with really is because everything is great. When we got a roof over our head, we're going on vacation twice a year.
We're doing our thing like everything is perfect, but the moment that someone gets diagnosed with something or has a health scare or has a family member go through something difficult, that's when real life matters start to kind of unfold and change. A person.
You know, everything's great when you got both parents alive and your kids are healthy and your wife's doing good, but the moment all of a sudden something changes in that dynamic, it can really rock people's foundation to the point where they don't know how to navigate that. Like they don't know how to stand on their own 2 feet and be like, wow, life's beating the shit out of me right now. I need to stay focused. I need to stay, you know, head in the game.
A lot of people just, you know, give up. They just give up and they start, you know, the poor, pitiful me train. Everything sucks in my life. And I think so much of what we have been taught is to just allow people we love to manipulate us, whether it's our family or our partner, just, you know, oh, well, that's just how they are. You know, if you have someone in your family that you don't get along with and people say, well, that's just how they are, Not on my watch, not in my life.
Not at all. Not on my watch. Y'all can do y'all, but no Uncle Uncle Jimmy ain't going to talk to me like that. He might talk to you and his wife and his kids like that, but me not going to. Talk. Uncle Jimmy can catch these hands. Legit. And like, you know, my grandmother, she was just taught like a lot. My dad's mother, you know, because her father was very abusive. And when she was a kid, around four years old, he threw her off a boat and said swim. What?
4 fucking years old. So my grandmother is like scarred. I mean, my grandma flinches at the light clickers. Like my grandmother has so much deep trauma because of that that she projected onto all of us. But I'll be honest, like my grandmother used to be really difficult. Like she'd be the one like going through my purse and like, you know, trying to find me doing something wrong or whatever. But she taught me how to drive.
And I always laugh because when we would be out, like practicing and I had my permit or whatever, she would say things like nothing good happens after midnight, nothing good, you need to be home because nothing good happened. It's after midnight. And then another thing she would always say when it's cold, you need to put something on your head. And I saw her the other day and I was like, Grandma, you were right. Nothing good happens after midnight.
And you do need to put something on your head. You're right, Like, and it's just funny because at the time, when I was 15, I was like, this lady is driving me crazy. You know, hoes don't get cold. I don't want to wear a hat. Hoes don't get. Cold. I've never heard that. You haven't heard that?
Maybe I have and it's just this is ringing different as you say it. So it's like, you know, when you're young, someone might be trying to help you and give you advice in their own way or their own tone that doesn't resonate with you. But as you get older and you have life experience, like you said, and you experience things, you can see like she's right, she was right. Nothing good happens after midnight.
And I feel like that in itself has helped me shift a lot to realize that we as humans really do set ourselves up for drama or suffering or whatever it may be by our actions. You know, every time I ever got in trouble or got in a car wreck or something happened to me that was wrong, happened after midnight, every single time. But did I want to hear that at 19? No, I didn't. But now at 32, I'm like, grandma's right.
I'll be inside Stark. And see, you had to have life experience in order for you to be able to see that that lesson and what she was saying was fact. Do you want to do a human design card? Sure. All right. Well, that flew out. Ha. We got card number 8 for Rebellion. 8 is my life path #2. And that's a tourist card. And it's a Taurus cod so it's fitting. OK. Your gift is individuality and your shadow is an illusion of safety. These cards really be hidden.
Beyond the shallow depths of the man made world of structure lies this beautiful gift of true individuality and a rebellion that transforms the masses. You represent the fringes of society filled with creative free thinkers. Not everyone will understand you or even try to, because it takes courage and inner trust to see past the veil of the physical
world and the status quo. It takes a leap of faith to venture down this path, which is why the majority stays firmly in place and so few people veer outside of it. Sameness is safe but utterly uninspiring. As more people dare to carve a new path, slowly but surely the rest of the population will wake up to a new possibility as well. You embody a spontaneous sense of individuality that cannot be duplicated. Creativity lives through you,
and you are its divine channel. The frequency of this shadow keeps you locked within the relative comfort of the mass majority. It tricks you into believing that the path worth taking is heavily travelled, predictable, safe and common. Here your individuality and freedom is lost to the collective. Staying committed to a truth that does not belong to you keeps you small and hollow. At this stage in our evolution, we are seeing the systems around us fail.
Education, government and corporations, only the few truly prevail, whilst the foundational body, the majority, keeps these systems intact despite their inefficiency and providing a useful structure for all involved. Breaking from the herd threatens the continuation of these programs. It rattles our comfort but pays off in dividends. Questions to always ask Am I playing it safe or am I truly alive? Are the expectations of others shaping my life and my
decisions? Your themes are individuality, innovation, rebellion and freedom. Very in alignment as always. As always. So we will see you all next time in Candy Land. Our new drop date is Fridays. Bye bye. Yeah, you said she's so sweet, man. Come on. Like a rapper live. Me like a lollipop. Lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, lollipop. You want to swallow my spirit and penetrate my aura? Taste. All of my consciousness is obvious.
We're goddesses full of the divine femininity.