Yeah, you say? She's so sweet, man. Come on. Like a rapper? Me. Like a lollipop. Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop. What's up fuckers? Welcome back to Candy Land. Paige is joining us from underwater today. Welcome to Atlantis. Yeah, we are flooded here in Kentucky. It's crazy. It's historical flooding. That's crazy. My man's sister lives in Tennessee and she was getting hit by tornadoes. I almost said volcanoes. It was not volcanoes, it was fucking tornadoes. And yeah, that was the other
night. It was crazy. Yeah, We've had several tornadoes. There was an EF 3 that's been confirmed today that touched down Wednesday probably like, I don't know, 1520 minutes from my house total. What's an EF3? So they're ranked so like EF 1 would be like 90 mile per hour winds to about like 115 mile per hour. And then the stronger they get, they go up the scale. So this one was an EF 3 confirmed 145 mile per hour
wind. So basically an EF one will RIP the roof off and EF 3 is destroying the whole building. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. And I think about wanting to like move out that direction and like be an East Coast girl. And I'm like, you know, then I have to deal with like alligators and tornadoes and fucking crazy Florida people, so. We're in the Midwest, and it's like we're in the area that gets almost all of the seasons.
Like the only thing that we wouldn't get here in Kentucky would be like a hurricane because it would only hit like the ocean area type states. By the time it made it to us, it would just be like a crazy storm. That song Cyclone is stuck in my head now. She moves about it like a cyclone, so. Scary like it I mean obviously I felt very shielded and protected but you know Jeepers house was 5 minutes from the first tornado and like 5 minutes from the second tornado.
So 2 tornadoes hit near her home within a four day period, which is so. Nuts, friend. And like they're comparing it to the May 1996 tornado which I survived in a trailer. Both of the trailers beside me were completely destroyed and our trailer was completely intact. No damage in an EF3 tornado. So like we haven't seen any catastrophic events in this magnitude since 1996 for the Tornadoes and 1997 for the flood. We're only like 1 foot away from reaching the same point as the 97 flood.
So what constitutes for you guys leaving and evacuating during tornadoes? Because what I see from Midwesterners is people like videos on their front porch sipping their sweet tea and they're like, oh, look, there's a tornado off Yonder. I saw Wizard of Oz and I feel like you're going to go to fucking Munchkin Land if you don't head underground. At what point do you guys panic? The other night, last Sunday night when I was laying in bed and I was like everything's going to be fine.
And every single tablet and device in my home started going off with the screams of take shelter now. So I think there was a moment I was like damn this is wild. So I went downstairs and I got into a closet with my cat cuz the other two cats were not trying to have it. And it was really crazy because at that moment four different people texted me and said the tornado is headed directly in your direction, are you okay? And that was scary because I
wasn't watching the news. I was just looking at like the weather radar and when there is going to be a tornado they do these little direct boxes in my fucking house. Like where I live was in one of the direct boxes but it basically skipped where I lived. Touched down like 2 exits over and then completely demolished like 3 or 4 exits over. So in both directions. They were only like 3 exits away of my house each time so I felt very protected and shielded.
I feel like I have like a gift of connecting with weather in a deeper way, being like an earth energy sign. So I don't know, Like I've already survived a tornado and a motherfucking trailer. So I'm not doing that again. Like I've already paid my karmic dues and I just feel like it's really crazy because two people I'm very close with had this tornado drop down within the like 5 mile range of their home. One person like a mile and 1/2 from their home.
And I just feel like I was sending out all these protection bubbles to everyone like my family and friends and literally none of us have had any issues. I've just been really saddened for like the animals because people like take videos and don't help animals that are caught in trees and caught in fences and like hurt and that shit's pissing me off. Like humans, they'll be all right. Animals. I have an issue with people like leaving them behind. It sucks.
I loved pit bulls and parolees and like, I used to watch that when I was a kid. And I remember when they opened Villalobos in New Orleans and they went there and they would like, go and save like dogs from floods and shit like that. And that's the only time that I've really seen like, rescuers going out, talking about going out in natural disasters and taking in animals and stuff like that. And I don't know if, like, you know, they obviously like they had producers in a network and stuff.
I think they were on A&E because it used to be Dog the Bounty Hunter and then Pitbull and parolees. That's what I was into. And so we hunt the fugitives and then we hunt the animals and save them too. But I wonder if like they just had so much funding, they were able to do that. But I wonder if there's other rescues and stuff where they go out in storms and are able to get different animals and take them in and seek shelter.
Because I mean, so many shelters that take in pets kill centers because they don't have the financial means or physical, you know, resource for board and whatever to be able to keep animals. I'm a huge advocate for going and adopting pets. When Jeremy first moved here, I was trying to figure out like something that we could go and do. And I was like, oh, we should go to like the ASPCA where I got Linda, my cat, and we should go and look at the animals and we're there for like 5 minutes.
He's like, this is really sad, we need to leave. He said we're not here with the intention of getting any pets. We're just looking at them. And I'm like, no, I have fallen in love with a cat, a rabbit and a dog. Like we can walk out of here with a pet. Yeah, there was a rescue in Shepherdsville, KY, that had a bunch of animals. And they posted on this Shepherdsville group and said the kennels are starting to flood. We need volunteers to rescue
these dogs that can anyone help? And like, within the hour, it gives me chills because within the hour there were, like, so many people using their own boats, their own trucks, their own means to get these animals. And now they're in need of fosters, which is really, really sad. You know, I already have my fair share of animals. If I could have a farm and have many, many more, I totally
fucking would. Like I have this dream of having like a farm with kind of like a Moat around it where like cats can run free and like be adopted and just like live their life out as like farm cats. Because I've seen a lot of people have animals and like want to rehome them or want to get rid of them or whatever. And it would just be nice to
like have a safe place for them. But you know, I've saved a couple cats in the last like couple months with the one eyed cat that was outside with the hurt eye. We took him to the shelter, they fixed him up. They called me, said that I could adopt him. They named him Odyssey and within that 24 hours he was off the website so they totally he got adopted so that was really good. And then I have my 2 strays that I feed outside that are both boys.
And I don't think they're fixed. So I'm just praying that they don't bring any cats or kittens home this summer or spring. But I don't know, like I was more like upset about the wild animals. Like there was a video of like a deer stuck in a fence and people are just like, leave it just whatever. And I get it. Like, but it still broke my heart. And then I've now today saw two people rescue animals. One girl rescued a cat off a porch that was surrounded by
water. And then another girl rescued a baby deer out of a field full of water. So, you know, there is a balance. And one time this poet, there was a poem by this poet and it said in order for so many things to live, so many things must die. And that's kind of like something that like rings in the back of my head when I'm trying to like, navigate shit like that, that's upsetting me.
And understanding that, like, you know, this is a physical place, but there is an eternal scale that we exist on. And I've really been shifting from like past lives to like all lives are like congruent together. Like all lives are ever changing together. Like you're not in a past timeline or a future timeline. Like you are an eternal being. So I've really been trying to process like that because my heart just really aches for animals. Like people not so much.
I don't know why. Like people, they're their own worst enemy most of the time. Like obviously I don't want people to suffer through natural disasters or anything, but I just think people they do more harm than good and animals are just innocent and it just like it disrupts my spirit when I see things like that, like people recording and not fucking
helping. Yeah, I think that there's some there's programs that some prisons do with animals, like with dogs and things like that, where they actually, I mean, they have to be able to like earn the privilege and whatever. But they're able to have pets that they have full time in there that they're responsible to take care of and like nurture and whatever. And it's a part of the like their rehabilitation program. And I think that animals are so
healing for so many people. Like there are so many people for whatever reasons, you know, traumas, experiences, you know, self separation, whatever, aren't able to have good connections with other people. And I think that connection with people is also a like taught thing and a learned thing. And people can be taught to have horrible interactions with people if they're put in bad situations their whole life and they're always taught that people around them are going to
be bad and whatever. I think that people in those situations sometimes end up just turning out to be really bad towards others because that's what they've experienced. And having the opportunity to be able to have like animals that they take care of or whatever might give them a sense of like healing for themselves and everything not being bad.
And I think that there's so many different ways for animals to be introduced in for helping people, like people use animals for therapy animals and all different types of stuff. And I think that it could be used in so many other than it currently is. I feel like it's really limited and people really take advantage.
I think there's a difference between like, you know, your, your cat is certified on your lease versus like you can you know, you're, you should take your Peacock on a plane because it's like your emotional support pet. But I think that there's so many different ways that they could be utilizing all of these different animals to help people in so many ways, whether it be companionship or actually be
therapeutic or what not. It's interesting that you bring that up because I went to the gym and there was a man with his service dog working out. And you can tell when like some dogs have been a service dog for a long time, like they're super chill. But you could tell this one was like a kind of you have a baby, like, you know, he wanted pets.
Like he knew that I like was looking at him and he jumped up and he was like, no, you got to lay down like, no. And I said, Oh, he's being a good boy. And he was like, he's trying. Obviously, I know it's like against the rules to pet them unless they like offer for you
to pet them. But you could tell that he was like really trying to navigate like the anxious, like wags of his tail of like, I really want to interact with this person because I can tell, you know, that she likes me or I can tell that she wants me to, you know, whatever. So I think it's great. I think service animals are so crucial for so many people. And I think it's amazing that like dogs can be trained to like recognize seizures and panic
attacks. But the flip side of that is it is very expensive to get your service dog trained in those ways. It is very and so when I had my dog before I was looking at getting him signed up for like a doggy daycare thing. It was in California and like this bus would come pick up your dog for the day, go take it. It's like B train, hang out with other dogs, whatever. That shit was thousands of fucking dollars.
But like they gave the dogs like their own little spot on the bus and they would like clip them in and I just like I it was aesthetically adorable financially. It just like fucking train your dog yourself. That's another thing that bugs me is when people don't properly train their animal and they don't want to have the animal anymore because it doesn't integrate, you know, into their family or it's hurting people or whatever.
And it's like, and there are some animals where like you're doing your best to train them and you can't, but there's a lot of people who don't put in the time and effort and they get high energy breeds or you know, whatever or, or stubborn breeds.
And I feel like that's where the negative connotation of like pit bulls and Rottweilers and those types of dogs come in is because they are kind of stubborn dogs and people don't take the time to nurture them and and teach them and train them properly. One of my favorite breeds of dogs is a pit bull and I don't know if it's because it's like the black sheep of the dog like breeds and it gets like such a bad rap. And like people have like this weird vendetta against pit
bulls. But like a lot of big dogs that I have liked, like truly liked were pit bulls and a lot of them came from like rescue domestic crazy situations. I just don't understand the brain of someone that would harm an animal or like fight dogs or whatever it may be. Like it just doesn't even make sense to me. And I just know there's a very, very special place in the ether that those people end up for eternity.
But I just feel like there's so many beautiful animals out there that are manipulated, taking advantage of, you know, overbred, whatever. And then people look around and we're overpopulated with all these animals and they act like there's no way to fix it. Like fucking neuter and spay your animals. Stop breeding them. Stop carelessly, you know, dropping them off at a pound because you didn't train them in their early years.
Like I see that so much. Like now I'm at the point on Facebook if I see someone rehoming their pet for any other reason than a literal emergency life or death situation Like oh I'm pregnant, I'm going to rehome my cat or oh I'm this I'm going to rehome my animal. I literally just delete them because I never want to see that stank coochie energy on my feet again. You know, you've mentioned that like a couple different times before that, you know, people
will do that. I, I really like, I made a Facebook post. I want to say it was like yesterday morning or the morning before. And it's the first time that I've posted on Facebook in a real long time. And I went on there and I've told you, like, I don't scroll anymore. Like I've taken Instagram off my phone. I don't have TikTok on my phone anymore. Like I don't scroll and I don't sit there and digest social
media anymore. And the other morning I was like, I'm just going to like, I got on there for one thing. And then I just ended up scrolling and it was just like people giving every fucking detail of their fucking relationship. And it is like a pet peeve to me that like, I don't care that you and like that Jim Bob is being mean to you and that you had to call his mother and like, whatever. And then the next day you guys are totally fine. And then this is what you're
making him for dinner. And then you guys have an argument and then like back and forth and back and forth and people, you do that on Facebook and it is not your fucking diary. Nobody needs a play by play of what you have going on in your relationship. Posting pictures because you're happy.
Totally get that. But there's a point in which you're like, oh, every single day you're posting a picture of you and Jim Bob. OK, so that's your relationship is for the gram Got it. But that fucking annoys me. And then people that just go on there to do nothing but complain and it's like complaining about your weight, complaining about, you know, every situation, whatever. And it it's just like a toxic to consume.
So I was like, I'm going to make a post and remind y'all to like go outside and get a little bit of sunshine on your skin and, you know, think positive thoughts or whatever. Because I was like, holy shit. This is like there are people who all the interaction that they have with the world is social media. They go to work, they social media. That's the only way that they talk to their friends. It's the only way they see their friends. They don't text.
They just look and they see what's going on on, you know, Facebook and that's fucking it. And between that and people and their animals, I am like I I could do with never being a scroller again because it it is pointless. See that's so funny because I went through that phase where like every single night at like 7 PMI would put my phones on do not disturb and I would not touch them until the next
morning. But now I feel like I've been on the scrolling of TikTok. I've gotten back on TikTok a little bit, but I've been scrolling a little bit lately. And instead of engaging with that lower vibrational stuff, like I just delete the person. Like if I see something and I'm just like, oh, I don't like their energy. I just delete them like they could literally literally be like box spring and mattress for sale $50. And if I don't resonate with this message, I just delete
them. But it's so funny because like, I love the audacity of people trying to sell something for full price that they have just used up there. Recently I've been on Marketplace and I found a couple cool things on Marketplace and I fucking hate Target. I think Target's the worst establishment. I think they're just trash. Their prices, their everything. Well, the universe was like, guess what Target's doing? They're having a sale on lava lamps.
So I got on their website and I saw like $50 lava lamps for like $18.00. So I ordered a bunch. I took the one that I got from Facebook Marketplace, switched the base with the new base and returned it. Got my money back and I'm just like fuck Target, fuck the system. I will find a loophole in any direction. But I've just been like on this point of just boycotting everything. Like I hadn't got on Amazon and ordered anything all year except like maybe the first week of the year.
And I got on there last night. And normally I would order spell candles like just every month, but this time I was like, I'm going to order 10 boxes. It's 1000 candles and I'm not fucking with it. Like, I'm not going to be back. So I've just been doing this thing where like, I just initially get everything I need and then delete the app or delete the account. Like Etsy keeps getting brought up because of all this like tariff stuff.
And I can't stand Etsy because there are so many people on there who get their artwork scammed, recreated by the Sheen or the team moves of the world, and then they get screwed. And so when I saw that there was like a strike of artists against like Etsy, I've talked about this before, I just deleted my whole account, like just completely deleted the whole account. It took so many steps. I had to do so many verifications. But I'm not going to support platforms who don't back their
creators. And that's like the same thing with Instagram. I've stopped posting publicly and just been posting on close friends. And now when I do post publicly, boom 1000 views. Yeah, I don't fuck with Betsy. There's a couple of. I used to love Etsy because I really like supporting
independent artists on things. I think that that was a way that a lot of people were getting their, their artwork and even like witchcraft boxes and stuff at first, like when I was before, I had shops that wanted to send me things, I'd be like, oh, what types of stuff can I put inside of witchcraft boxes? I'll buy, you know, one of these big witchcraft boxes and I'll, I'll divide up different stuff and whatever and say what shop I
got it from. And then I started to notice that it wasn't like people putting together custom boxes anymore. It was like some generic thing that they went down and they bought at like Ross or something. But then they're trying to like resell and that's not quality product for one. For two, what the fuck am I going to pay you and shipping for something I could have gone down if I wanted to get it from Ross that I got it from fucking Ross or told somebody to do
that. And so there aren't tons of platforms where you get to support people individually for their crafts. And I think that's why it's so you know, people, I know that people get frustrated that some of our stuff is behind paywalls and you know that that we do some of the things that we do the way that we do it. And it's like if people have learned nothing from this podcast, it's that anytime that you have an original idea, there's some dumb ass broad who can't fucking think of an
original thought. If it's going to save her God damn life and she's going to take whatever idea that there is, fuck it up, and then try and distribute it as her own. And so a lot of what we do is on behind paywalls for a fucking
reason. And I think that more artists and shit should figure out how to get their stuff behind a paywall, whether it be that they are, they have their website and they're putting their art out through their own website and distributing it themselves or clothing or whatever. The second that you put it onto the Internet on something like Etsy or Amazon or whatever that is giving other people permission to mass fucking produce that and go, well, I found it on Etsy. I found it on Amazon.
You can't tell me that you find an original thing on my website and that it's somewhere else. That's so fucking real.
There's this other crowdfunding platform called Grouped GROUPD and I recently signed up because one of my favorite artists is on there and there's like a public wall that people can comment and tell me why someone signed up for this man's platform and then hopped on there to bash him for putting his content behind a pay wall and said that he was scamming his fans and basically that he could get fucked. And I'm like so you paid money to hop on here and say that like that's fucking crazy.
So I literally just caught I could like because you can all see it. So I just replied to dudes post and I said Yikes. So I may or may not be getting into it with that guy later because what the fuck was that? And honestly like the thing I liked about this is because he has like tears like 5/10/15. But then you can set a custom amount and I like the number 11. So I just did 1111. I don't know. And just like for no reason at
all, just I like that number. But then like when he releases certain things like vlogs or behind the scenes stuff like you have access to it. And it's really just crazy to me that still the haters, the monitoring spirits, the matrix handler, whatever tries to hop on there saying fucked up shit like get a grip. But another thing that a lot of artists are doing is they're like like printing self portraits and autographing them and then selling them.
Or I know Bunny and Jelly have done that in the past. Like a lot of people are finding new ways to generate income. And I'm not going to lie, like I love this artist, but I wouldn't pay $150.00 for their self-portrait because like, I just like, do you Boo? Someone else will pay that. Like, I get it. But at the same time, like I support that. Like I fucks with that because they only did 99 of those. And yeah, they, they ran up a bag, but like, it's not like they're mass producing it.
And one day that will be worth a significant amount of money if, you know, they do succeed or whatever. But I think so many haters who have nothing to fucking do are constantly like being a hater. Like earlier on Facebook, this guy said birth control should have always been for women. And that's the end of the debate. And I commented, I didn't delete them, I decided to comment.
And I said the male population is enough birth control for me, because it is. That's such a topic though, because the way that birth control fucks with women's hormones and all types of shit. Like you can have a kid and then you can have taken birth control that was a hormonal birth control that stopped your cycles and whatever. And that shit can make you infertile and you can not have kids further down the line even though you've had kids before.
And the fact that it's like the responsibility of women to have birth control because a dude doesn't want to wear a condom or whatever else. And like, well, that's uncomfortable. Well, so is having an IUD shoved in your fucking uterus. But women are doing it everyday, you know, like I, I just think that there really needs to be more options too for pregnancy prevention because a lot of
people do not fucking want kids. And there are a lot of kids who end up being born who the system doesn't help. The system loses. The system fucking doesn't lose them. They sell them and put them into sex trafficking. And then they don't want to talk about that. And I'll blow your fucking lid wide open and let you know that, like the US government absolutely loses track Bunny ears on that of so many fucking children inside of the foster care system.
And it's because they're pimping them out. And if you think that the government's not doing that, then you need to do a little bit more research. And I suggest looking at like underground tunnels and shit like that and going on a little conspiracy deep dive because that's a fucking thing. And y'all didn't think that Diddy was doing anything at his white parties either.
But then now look at you. So yeah, we need to AB there needs to absolutely be more prevention things put into place and there's not going to because it is such a lucrative fucking thing. And people are having all of these conversations about like whether or not abortion should be a thing or whatever, but they have absolutely no conversations about what you do with kids that are born, are put into the
system, are not being adopted. We're still bringing kids over from other countries and adopting out from other countries while we have kids here that don't have homes. There's also this like whole statistic thing about kids of certain ages not getting adopted and it's only younger kids that are getting adopted. And there's so many kids that are older that end up being put into the system because of XY and Z that a lot of times have experienced so much trauma and
so much crazy shit. And people don't want to, they consider that baggage. And so they don't want to take that on and they don't want to raise those kids. And so often those are the kids that are going to be like the most loving and the most grateful and whatnot is because they have been through crazy shit and they are now being taken care of. And you can really turn the kids life around by showing them something different and and
helping them. And so the the conversation about abortion always pisses me the fuck off 1 As somebody who's had one, like you always say you're not going to do it till you're in the situation. And sometimes you get in situations you don't think you're going to be in and shit happens. And also because there's so many other conversations that can be had.
And I feel like it is small minded fucking people who sit there and argue about one topic and have one perspective on it instead of you looking at the grander scheme of things and the reason why things are that way. There's a reason that there's a that, you know, men in power don't want abortions to be a thing and they want kids to happen and the money game that's behind it and the payouts that they get and all types of shit.
So many things. Before I forget with the birth control topic, a man can literally father like hundreds of kids a year and a woman can have one in a calendar year. So that's just like shouldn't even be in the in the equation. Men should be on birth control from the fucking jump and the way they want to be chased and and cater to these days like little princesses. Birth control is perfect for
them. Next note, have you seen where the lady submitted her DNA to one of those websites and then she got a call from an FBI agent about a cold case. Long story short, her mom sold her and her dad didn't even know about her and it was an illegal adoption that like I guess like her grandmother or someone covered up and somewhere in that I don't know there was like the police got involved.
I don't know how all that actually transpires but think it's the grandmother had done something illegal and her DNA was linked to the crime scene but because they couldn't get the DNA back then it went cold. And then the lady who submitted her DNA just thought she had been adopted. Like regular not only found her real mom, found out her real dad did not know about her at all and that her grandmother was like a convict and her DNA was like tying the case open.
And when I was in this lifetime drama. When I had mentioned to my father about doing that ancestral thing a while, like a while back, he was like, absolutely not. And I was like, why? I was like, do you think you have like extra kids out there? And he was like, absolutely not, not doing it. And I would suggest you not to do it either. So I never did it. But then my grandfather, during COVID, two women came forward and my grandfather is their dad
and he is in his like late 70s. Did I ever tell you that? No, you didn't ever tell me that, but like I see, I just think of like the wife's in those situations, right, Because like you, you're going to feel some type of way that like a kid comes up and that's like your spouse's kid and you had no idea that they had kids elsewhere. And then like that person is like going through a whole bunch of emotions because now they had kids that they don't know about and it's a whole thing.
And then like you got to take on other kids and like I just like it's such a snowball. I think it that that's such a as a kid who so like for me, I didn't know who my birth dad was until I was in high school. And then when I contacted him, he and I don't know if I've ever told you about this, when I contacted him, I contacted him on Myspace and he was like, oh, well, like he still sticks to like, I didn't know anything about you. Like what a surprise.
You're a kid. But I have baby pictures of him with my mom when I was one years old. So like clearly you know something. But I have a different man that's on my birth certificate. And so he's like, your mom was a hoe and to like to this day, he'll be like, I just didn't know that I was your dad, you know, whatever. And I have for for years, it really fucked with me because I was like, I just want him to
tell me the truth. And so like, I couldn't have any type of like a relationship or friendship of any kind with my dad because like, you're lying to me. And I eventually had to just be like they were teenagers with whatever the experience was that fucking happened. You know, I was not claimed. And I ended up getting a dope ass stepdad, you know, halfway through my life that raised me. And so that's my dad. And I'll just be OK with that.
And there is so much fucking shit that goes on in somebody's brain from not knowing one of their parents or not having involvement from one of their fucking parents growing up. Yeah, that's some deep, deep trauma. My grandfather did something similar. So he had a wife and a child and he thought that she had ran off on him and got pregnant. So he claimed one child but
rejected the second. Her like grandson submitted his DNA for like a eighth grade project, discovered that there were no breaks in the DNA lineage, that his grandfather and grandmother lineage was like not outsourced, like everyone in his system had the same like DNA. And so then that Lady, you know, we know her. We know her. Like her name's Stacy. She actually just sent me a friend request the other fucking day. Like we know who this is.
So he just did not claim her. And then from them inputting their DNA, a next second woman who was adopted and did not know her parents at all, but lost her adoptive parents, found my grandfather during all that. Like the more people who put their DNA in there, the more accurate it becomes. And then this stranger, like Finding Nemo on the side, swooped right in. And she actually, like, I haven't why? Actually, I lie. I did meet her and I met her daughter one time.
And like, this is her grant. Like this is his real granddaughter and here I am. I've known this man my whole life. He literally claims me over his own blood grandchildren. He always calls me his favorite. I've lived with them. I'm literally about to go see them in a little bit. And so when I met his granddaughter, she didn't I could just tell her energy was just like stink coochie. She was like did not like me. And so my grandma and grandpa hardly ever go anywhere.
Well the granddaughter got married like 2 hours away and my grandma and grandpa went and it shocked the shit out of me because like that's just not something they do like ever. Like I have AI give a public speaking like speech every quarter and they've never came to it once and it's like 20 minutes away. So it's just like it blew my mind that he went I think her name's Sarah.
And it was just so crazy because like, in their mind, they've been alienated and like had these adoptive family members, right, that have like passed on. So building the relationship would be hard considering he's like in his 70s. But it's definitely wild because my grandpa has not only been to prison, he's killed a man and now he's got kids coming up out of the woodwork. Like my grandpa was like in the
Cornbread Mafia, like gangs. Like if y'all listening, look up the Cornbread Mafia. It is a huge thing. It's like moonshine smugglers and coal and gold. It's like a whole thing, but this man was living his best life. And fucking bitch is getting money and cornbread dude like. And you know what's crazy is like I vividly remember this story that my grandfather got a gang like tattoo and when he came home his mom was like, hell no, you're going to cut that out of your skin right now.
And he literally took a knife and, like, filleted some of this tattoo off. So it's like, just a piece of it. Like, my grandpa has lived many fucking lifetimes. I will say it, like, and this man and me are not blood, but we have like, a real deep bond. Like, we really, really do. And like, it's so wild, like how it's all unfolded. But my grandpa is just like, so set in his ways. And like, I'll go see my grandma and she'll be like, yeah, he don't want to go anywhere.
He don't want to do anything unless we're going to the casino. That's the only time he'll get out of that chair. And I'm like, OK, OK, then like, I don't know, like, it's wild. But a lot of unemotionally available men, like you said, have children that they just have no intentions of nurturing or taking care of at all at all.
And on the flip side, there are so many men who do want to have families and they do want to be a nurturer and they do want to, you know, be that person and step into roles and whatever. Like I was fortunate enough that, you know, I have my stepdad who doesn't have kids of his own, but stepped in and was there for me and my brother. My brother was younger.
I feel like my dad and my brother have a, they have a different type of bond too, because I think men in general, you know, they, he, they get each other a little bit more, but my brother also was so much younger and so they have a really tight bond. But like even my man, like, you know, he doesn't have other kids right now.
We'll fix that. And but he, you know, steps in for Mac and is like an amazing parent figure and goes to every appointment and, you know, doctor's appointment gets him from school with me, like goes to therapy with him, like just all these different things. And so I feel like there are so many people who want to step into roles.
And I think that because of people's, I want to be careful with the way that I word it, But I think that we can limit people from being able to step into roles that they want to take because we assume that they don't want them or we assume that with our own traumas, that's going to be a temporary thing. And I think that a lot of people prevent their kids from being able to have experiences with people who want to step up and be in their lives.
And sometimes it's like, you know, my mom easily could have been like, well, I'm a single mom. I have kids. I'm not going to date anybody. Absolutely not. You know, next or you know, my brother and I didn't have our birth dads involved in our lives, but we could have had dads that were like, those are my kids and you're not going to be able to, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's their own trauma
thing. And so I think that people should be a lot more open to accepting people wanting to take on roles that they want to take on and allowing kids to be nurtured by other people without it being like, oh, I'm going to be replaced or whatever. You, when you're operating from a place of wanting the best for your kids or what not, you open yourself up to them receiving love, even if it makes you feel
jealous or whatever. And you as an adult, you figure out those emotions and you allow your kids to have whatever experiences and whatever love is being poured into them. Yeah, I totally feel like so many people who have kids are don't actually want them. And then the people who can't have kids really want them. I always as a child, like, imagine having like four or five kids. I don't know where that came from.
I don't know what who, what fairy godmother I was talking to, but I remember vividly talking about having four and five kids. But then like the teen pregnancy shows like came out when I was that age, like I was 16 when 16 and pregnant aired. So I remember like seeing those dynamics and seeing those kids, like I just want to go to the Ke$ha concert or like whatever. Like I remember seeing that in real time. And I honestly think that shit scarred me. Like it really scarred me.
And then my mom had put me on birth control at a really young age because she had also had an abortion as a teenager. So I think that like there were so many like taboo dynamics around it that I was just like, that is my biggest fear is getting pregnant. So I was like religious with the birth control. I remember I used to take it at at 3:00 every single day, never missed a beat ever.
And then I remember like when I was around like 27, I'd been on birth control for like 12 years at this point or whatever. And I remember knowing I wasn't supposed to be on it anymore. So around like 27, that's also like when my awakening was really in full force. That's when I originally started my celibacy journey and like started cutting out like unnecessary connections and people.
And then, you know, like I dated on and off and whatever, but like I never really had fully engaged back into that. And then boom, last year had sex one time and got fucking pregnant. And so now like going through that because technically, like my 40 weeks or however many weeks would have been like this week, this week and last week would have been like the time I was having the baby.
And what's so weird about that is literally our fucking entire state is underwater down town where I would have had that baby is underwater. Like there's so many dynamics that would have been birthing a child into chaos or like birthing that baby into chaos. And you all know from the episode it's taboo where I talked about like this person like ghosted me after we dated as literal like 1415 year old teenagers. And this man had the audacity to
try to text me like 2 weeks ago. And then yeah, I didn't tell you this, I'm saving it. He texted me two weeks ago. I was at the Kid Rock concert. Actually, it's been like a week and a half ago and I was at the Kid Rock concert with my dad having a really healing moment and I didn't see the message. Well, the next morning I was just like scrolling through my messages and there was his phone number. But when I clicked on the text box, it said blah, blah, blah,
unsent a message. So this man texted me. I never saw it. And then he unsent the message, Gemini unsent it. And this was like the due date the doctor had given us. Like the 28th of March was the day that he texted. And I'm pretty sure that the due date was like the 28th or the 29th. But in my heart I knew it was more like April 8th or 9th based on like the, you know, the period and all the things.
But this man texted me and I'm like did he just subconsciously text me or did he remember that this was the due date? And then spirit knowing I don't want any more fucking bread crumbs, I don't need any more bullshit in my life was literally like Sir, you can remove that message now. And he did, and I didn't even see what it said and he hasn't tried to reach out since. What a piece of shit first of all. Second of all, I fucking hate him. Third of all, I'm so glad that
you didn't have his baby. Sorry how it happened. So glad that you are not stuck with that. That is. I feel like he absolutely knew the timing of it, which I think is just an extra fuck up because he literally didn't respond to you, text you anything while you went through that entire miscarriage by yourself, all of
the emotional whatever. So for him to reach out when you're supposed to be due and have literally anything to say at all and then like the audacity to sit there and have the balls to say it and then be a fucking pussy and delete it so that you didn't see it. Like we can call it spirit, you know, intervention or whatever, but he was being a little bitch and he had all the fucking balls in the world to send you the
text. But then he had to backspace and he had to delete it and then further ghost you, which like that's what you want anyways. You don't want communication, but it's the that entire situation for me bothers me so much for you and especially with the fact that like you guys do have history. You guys were together. You guys did date when you were kids And like, I know that like I haven't, you know, talked about like my relationship on
the podcast very much. But like we dated when I, you know, I've known him since I was 11. That was like my like love of my fucking life, childhood, whatever. And he turned 18 when I wasn't 18 yet and my parents had a big problem with us dating And you know, then life happens or whatever. That's why we broke up and then you have life happen or
whatever. And you know, so I feel real sensitive to your thing as far as like, oh, this is somebody that like I loved when I was a kid and like, let's see, you know, like this might go somewhere, whatever. And then you getting treated that way. And like there is so much emotion that, that and like childhood trauma that goes in that. Fuck this dude. I thought, I hope this fucking
house floods. I hope that the tornado fucking sucks his soul up into it. I, there's so many things I wish upon this person and I fucking hate him. And if he listens to the podcast, Sir, I hope you jump off a fucking Cliff and break. You're fine. So the the real kicker to this is that. He. Can reach out like when I'm with my dad having a super healing moment when his dad doesn't love
him. That's all I could think about when I saw that the next day I was like look at me spending time with my dad healing and having a good time with my dad. And your dad does not care about you, does not love you, and really doesn't even claim you. Like that's crazy to me. Like it's honestly funny because I know if I would have been at home on that Friday, I would have saw that message. Because in his perception he believes like, oh, she's always
on her phone. She literally has 2 phones, 2 computers. Like that bitch is always on her phone. She's ignoring me. So I know his ego got super rippled because I didn't like reply. And then I don't know how much time went by because when I got home at midnight, like the message was not there. It was just like an empty text box and I didn't notice it because I deleted his number. So, you know, it was just numbers. But yeah, I know it's really fucking weird.
And honestly, I don't even care what he had to say. Like, that's how much I know I have like healed and transformed the situation because that happened on Friday and then Jackie ran into my other ex-boyfriend on Friday that same day. That crazy of all the days? You know, wiping your hands clean of it. You have so many things. I know that you don't care about the message and, and, and we don't care about the message. I just, it's the audacity for me.
And it's the, it's the fact that it, it takes courage for you to text somebody that you that there's an issue with or that there's a whatever. And he knows that he was in the wrong. So he sat there, he thought about what it was. He thought, I'm going to disturb her peace. And then he was like, man, and I'm going to delete it too. And that for me it, it's the it's the disrupting your piece twice for me after he already disrupted your piece after he fucking.
Anyways, I know there's cliffs nearby. I hope he finds the perfect one. I wish. The other side note, I won't say who it was but someone who I don't get along with, the tornado hit their neighborhood. So all I got to fucking say is that return to sender is hitting too fucking hard. When you're sending me stank energy, just know there will be a tornado at your side to carry you through because I literally don't wish bad on anyone.
But I promise you if you look at me and you're reflecting negativity or, you know, jealousy, envy, just anything towards me, you really should pray up. You should fucking do the damn thing. Because I promise you, no fucking Selenite or Tourmaline is going to save you now. Like, don't fuck with me. And honestly with him, I think it was like also one of those things of like, do I still have access to her?
And when the message just sat there, he realized that what he said wasn't going to fix anything. So he just unsent it, which actually is beneficial for me because now I don't have to wonder and have a conversation with him. Like I can keep that door completely closed and he's realizing I energetically don't give a fuck. Like, it's so funny because I remember telling you that I was doing all. This spell work recently and multiple men were texting me
during those. The working one dude was like are you just going to let us go out like that? Someone else was like how's my favorite person doing? I miss you so much. Someone else wrote me and they're like maybe I should just cash out for you to get your attention like this was. Meanwhile I'm doing a banishing cord cutting ritual. Like this is during it, men are blowing my phone up and I'm talking multiple people, some people I had not talked to in like 5 and seven years.
So I know that I have been on this dude's mind and I know he's been wanting to reach out, but the fact that he just randomly did when I was like having an inner child healing moment with my dad is so fucking wild. That is wild. I feel like that happened for a reason, though, and I think that it really was for you to be able to see that, like you've moved on from that and you truly like you before, you could have been like, yeah, like, you know, I'm over it, whatever.
But it was really him who had made the move for you guys to not speak. And then now you really have the opportunity presented to you where you could have been like, hey, there's nothing in that message. What's up? You know, you could have been like, oh, I'm so happy that like we're talking, you know, whatever it is, and you could have taken that moment to like backslide and try and get some type of like closure, if you
will, or whatever. But the fact that you had the peace and you had the healing from the situation already, it's, it's clear that he fucked up. He doesn't have that peace and that closure with it. You do. And so I hope that it's eating him up because what he did to you is one of the most fucked up things to do to somebody. Literally like bitches be on the Internet talking about like he ghosted me after our day or he didn't pay for dinner or whatever it is.
But like being ghosted after a miscarriage, after being in a relationship with someone and knowing them since like literally half of my life I have known that person is crazy fucking work. Like I promise you, your life is going to suck because the ripple of karma from that isn't anything that I could even project onto. You like the? Universe is going to deliver on the sense that you just don't do that to someone.
Like for one, being pregnant as a spiritual experience, having a miscarriage is a deeper spiritual experience, but to leave someone hanging when they literally we're just asking for mental support. I was not asking for financial support. I was not asking for any type of support, but a mental like, let me FaceTime you and check on you and see that you're OK. I'm so sorry. Like instead, we'll figure this out together and never speak to someone again. Like you can rot.
Like, and you know, what's funny is I have a lot of mutual friends with him because we we grew up together. I went to get a tattoo recently and my tattoo artist who we've had on the podcast, one of my best friends also tattoos this guy and a couple of his friends and he goes, yeah, he lost his job because blah, blah, blah shut down their business because they were doing it like a Co business together. But the guy who was actually in control shut the business down
abruptly. He's like, so he's not doing that anymore because Bob shut down his business. So it's like, OK, it's already rippling. Like you are not doing anything. And I promise you, anything you thought you were going to do is halted because you're not. You're not doing it. On that note, Sir, I fucking hate you and do. You want to. Pull us a card or do you have cards anymore? Does she use cards anymore? The question is lingering.
I can go grab them if you want. I mean no I guess we don't get a card anymore you all. How about you write Gemini? She won't read it but tell her how you fucking miss her messages and she's not going to check your Instagram DM or accept the collaboration because she's deleted the app. I have deleted I have I have deleted Instagram I have deleted TikTok. I told you guys like I, I want to come back and do like food things again. I'm going to be a sourdough bitch.
So like I have a whole like sourdough thing, like sourdough starter thing. And I definitely want to start like baking and doing different kitchen witchery things with like different herbs and stuff for like different rituals and different times and different seasons and things like that. And start like sharing recipes and stuff, which used to be a
big thing people would ask. And I'm like, I'm not that bitch, but like when I come back, I'm going to be Susie fucking Homemaker and I'm going to have like a YouTube and I'm going to do a whole thing. But I am really enjoying the time off of social media. I refuse to download Instagram again right now. I refuse to download TikTok
again right now. And I am living my best life, living my life and being present in it and figuring out all of the things that I want to do off of social media and spending time with my family. And then when I figure out exactly how I want to be on social media and I feel responsible enough to have business hours and have parameters with things and it not consume my entire life, I will be back. But in the meantime and and I will be back for cooking videos and shit like that.
But in the meantime I am at peace living my life, loving my life and the people in it. And I will just be here and not accepting collaboration invites but want to be included on them. Thank you. Something about getting that good Dick has had her feel like guess what? Fuck all y'all. Fuck your collaboration invite. Fuck the your, your tagged memo. Don't tag me, bitch. I'm not gonna see it. I think Gemini's gonna come back and she's gonna drop a rap song or a collaboration.
She's got to start making music, y'all. That's funny that you say that because somebody recently said that to me. OK, well here we are. I'm ready to see verse one. We'll do a feature. We'll get Peach the feature. Could you imagine? I come back and all like I got a fucking grill crapping with Peach. You know I have a grill. Yeah, I know you have a grill. Oh I'm about to wear it next time for y'all. Well the updates are clear. Don't disturb our peace or your your message will go on deaf
ears. Bitch I don't have the app. I don't even don't use that app OK. Yeah, I don't use that app. I have a new number like I have a new number. I have a new phone. I Life is new. Yeah, she even went to an Android y'all. Like she's not even on the blue bubble anymore. I can't even see the Switch's location. I'm about to get her to download Life 360 because I can't see her shit now. I can't see what she's doing, I can't see if she read my message. I don't see what she's doing.
I can't see nothing. What? You can see if I read your message, I can see if you read mine. I'm just fucking with you. I'm it's a Motorola thank you and I will never do iPhone again in this present moment. This phone is the fucking titties. I I have no reason to go back to iPhone right now. This thing is amazing. Well y'all Gemini's on a whole new wave and she's not coming back so we'll see you fucking next time in Candyland and hopefully Gemini shows up. Bye. Uh huh. Yeah, he says.
She's so sweet, like a rapper, like a lollipop. Lollipop, Lollipop Lollipop Lollipop.