Whose Voice Is In Your Head? Releasing Inherited Limiting Beliefs

Have you ever worked twice as hard only to get half the results ? Ever poured hours into something , reworking it , refining it , obsessing over every little detail , just to feel like it got worse , not better ? I used to think that the more time I spent on a task , the more valuable it was .

That hard work , the grinding , the sweating , the stretching into the late hours , was the only work that mattered . But that belief , it , stole years of my life and it made me worse at my job , not better .

Today I want to talk about the beliefs we carry that hold us back , the ones that sound noble , that feel responsible , that maybe even come from someone we love , but that , if we're honest , they're not helping anymore .

And by the end of this episode , you're going to name one belief that's keeping you stuck , but you're going to understand where it came from and I'm going to give you a way to let it go and replace it with something that actually moves you forward . So take a breath , because this one's personal and it might just change how you work and how you live .

All right , let's talk fundraising . I want to start with a story Mine . When I was a kid , my dad used to say if you finished it that fast , it probably isn't very good , and he didn't mean it to hurt me . Finished it that fast , it probably isn't very good , and he didn't mean it to hurt me . He came from a working class family .

His mom was a nurse in the burn unit and his dad was a police officer . In his family . Hard work was survival , effort was everything . So that belief got passed to me Subtly , steadily , and I absorbed it like gospel . Hard work is the most valuable kind of work , not smart work , not effective work , just hard .

So even when I did something well on the first try , got an A on a project , I was told I should have gone back and made it better , that if I'd worked harder it could have been an A+ . And guess what ? I started second-guessing my instincts .

I'd redo A-quality work over and over and over again and my grades actually got worse and that made no sense to me . Eventually that turned into procrastination . I figured if I didn't have time to redo something I couldn't ruin it .

So I'd wait until the last minute , sprint through a 10-page paper and turn it in Exhausted , stressed , jittery , but somehow still getting top marks . But when I got into the workforce that strategy started falling apart . I had a boss who hated my last-minute tendencies , so I tried doing things earlier .

But because I still believed hard work meant more time , more effort , more revisions , I started overworking the early drafts and again my quality dropped . And it was all so frustrating until I had a moment that changed everything . I watched a co-worker work herself into the ground .

She was putting in 70 hour weeks , gave up nights and weekends and she still couldn't get ahead . They brought in an assistant , then an intern . Now they had three people doing over 130 combined hours a week and the output didn't change . And that kind of hit me hard . Like I realized I'm doing the same thing , just wearing a different version of it .

I was spending more time on work that didn't need it , and when I didn't have time I did my best work anyway . So I flipped it . Now I give myself shorter timelines . I trust my first instincts . I hold projects until the halfway mark on the calendar and then I ask

myself is it good ? If the answer is yes , I turn it in . If not , I've got time to twerk . I mean , I've got time to tweak . Oh my gosh , I'm keeping that in and I'm not editing it out . That was fun . So yeah , I've still got time to tweak it . And you want to know something wild ?

95% of the time I don't need to change a thing , and my boss , they're happy with it too . So let me ask you what's one belief you're holding that's making your life harder than it needs to be ? And it might sound noble and it might feel familiar , but is it helping or is it holding you back ?

So now that you've named that belief , the one that might be keeping you stuck , let's get curious about where it came from . Because these beliefs , they don't just show up out of nowhere . You didn't just decide one day to make your life harder .

These ideas , they were taught to us , they're passed down , they're absorbed from the people around us , and it's usually with the best of intentions that we get them . Maybe it was a parent who praised you only when you got everything right . A teacher who told you fundraising would never pay the bills .

A boss who praised you for sleeping on the floor of the copy room to get a mailing out the door burning you out . But they called it going above and beyond . Or maybe it was the culture around you . What you saw , celebrated , promoted or put on a pedestal and at some point you started to believe it . And this is how the world works .

This is how I stay safe , this is how I prove I belong . So let's slow it down for a second . I want you to bring that belief you identified a few minutes ago back into your mind . And I want you to bring that belief you identified a few minutes ago back into your mind and I want you to ask yourself , gently but honestly where did this idea come from ?

Who taught it to you ? What moment planted that seed ? And just sit with it for a moment . But once you can trace the root , you get to decide if you still want it to grow . But once you can trace the root , you get to decide if you still want it to grow .

Now here's where it gets a little tricky , because even when a belief is holding you back , you're holding onto it for a reason , and that reason it's probably protecting something . See , every belief , especially the limiting ones , serve us in some way . That's why we can't let go of them so easily .

They give us a sense of control or safety or identity , even when they're making us miserable . For me , that belief about hard work it made me feel worthy . If I worked harder than everyone else , I was more valuable . If I earned my results through exhaustion , I could be proud of them .

And if I failed , well , at least when no one could say I didn't give it everything I had , it was protecting me from judgment , from shame , from the fear that I wasn't enough unless I was always trying harder . So now I want you to ask yourself how is this belief serving you ? So now I want you to ask yourself how is this belief serving you ?

What does it give you ? What are you protecting by holding on to it ? And here's the magic part there's no shame in this answer . It's okay that you've been carrying this belief because it makes total sense . But now that you see it , you get to choose . You get to ask

is this belief still helping me become who I want to be ? And if the answer is no , well , that means you're ready for the next step . So is it time ? Only you can answer that . But let's be real .

If this belief is keeping you in cycles of stress , burnout , self-doubt or procrastination , if it's making you resent your work or questioning your talent or feel like you're never enough , then maybe it's time to loosen your grip . And let me ask you who would you be without that belief ? How would you show up ?

What kind of work would you do and what kind of life would you build ? And you don't have to know the full answer . You don't need a five-year plan , but you do need a willingness to try something different . And just for a minute , I want to walk you through a little exercise .

If you're driving or in a place where it's not safe to close your eyes , skip this part and come back to it later . I promise it'll still be here , but if you can go ahead and close your eyes , take a breath and picture yourself free of that old belief .

Now I want you to imagine what your life looks like without it , the one that's been weighing on you , the one that makes things harder than they need to be . Just picture yourself fully released from it . How do you move through your day ? How do you show up to your work ?

What's different about the way you make decisions , the way you connect with people , the way you feel at the end of a long week ? Do you have more time , more clarity ? Do you feel lighter , more confident , more creative ? Let yourself feel that version of you , the one who's no longer bound by a belief that doesn't serve you anymore .

That version of you is not far away . It's already in you , waiting for the space to emerge . So take one more deep breath and , when you're ready , open your eyes . Welcome back Now . Here's the best part you don't have to let the current version of you go all at once . You can loosen your grip little by little , try a new way and see what happens .

Start by naming the belief that you've been holding on to . Say it out loud , write it down . Something like if I don't work myself to exhaustion , I'm not doing enough . Or maybe I always

have to figure it out alone . Next , ask yourself what belief would actually support me now . What's a truth that you're ready to move into ? Something like my best work happens when I trust myself and I take care of my energy . Or it's okay to ask for help and use the tools available to me , and you know what .

That last one is a big one for a lot of people I talk to , especially when it comes to using new tools like artificial intelligence , and I'll hear people say things like I don't want to use AI because I like working with my donors , and I get that deeply . But what if AI isn't about replacing the relationships , it's about making space for them .

It's about making space for them . So , instead of drowning in the administrative part of the job , you're showing up fully present for the people who matter most . That shift , that mindset , is a belief upgrade too . So let that sink in , let it feel like it's possible , and let's stay with this idea for just a minute .

Letting go of old beliefs isn't just about the internal stuff . It shows up in how we approach the tools , the systems and even the technology that we use every day . And I want to say this gently but honestly one of the biggest belief blocks I see in our field right now is around AI .

I talk to fundraisers all the time who say I love my work because of the people . I don't want some computer getting in the way of that . And I hear that and I felt it at first , but I want to offer you this reframe . What if AI isn't the thing standing between you and your donors ?

What if it's the thing that gets all the other stuff out of the way , so that you can actually be present with them ? What if AI could write the first draft of that stewardship email , summarize a meeting you forgot to take notes in help you prepare for a donor call , so that you walk into it feeling confident and not scattered ?

I actually put together something for you , because I know this shift is hard when you're trying to figure it out alone . It's a free cheat sheet called AI for Major Gift Fundraisers , and it gives you five simple prompts that you can use right away .

No jargon , no techie overwhelm , just small ways to let AI handle the background noise , so you can lean fully into the parts of this work that only you can do . And you can grab it right now for free at downloadsletstalkfundraisingcom . Forward slash AI prompts and I know that's a long title , so I'll make sure to leave a link to it in the show notes .

But try it out , see what happens . You don't have to believe it in full right away , you just have to believe it enough to try something new , and that's what this whole episode has been about . Right , letting go , trying something different and choosing a belief that serves you better than the one that

you're outgrowing . So , before we go , I want to ask you one more thing what's the belief that you're letting go of today and what's the new one you're choosing instead ? Write it down , speak it out loud and start living into it , one small moment at a time , because you're not stuck , you're not behind . You're just growing and you're doing a beautiful job .

All right , my friend , I'll see you in the next episode .