This week, we are talking to Things with Blaze, a multipotentialite whose life exemplifies the beauty of intersectionality and the power of transformation. If you've ever found yourself laughing at his viral social media videos that perfectly capture the essence of Caribbean culture, you understand how his unique blend of humor and insight resonates with a wide audience. Blaze embodies the essence of intersectionality and what it means to be
a multipotentialite. He is a source of inspiration and joy to his family and friends, a musical artist and dancer, a member of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity, and a therapist. In this episode, Blaze explains how his life took a transformative turn when he left his Long Island neighborhood for Delaware State University, an environment where he thrived and realized his full potential. There, he completed his bachelor's and master's degree and formed lasting bonds with men from diverse backgrounds who
would become his fraternity brothers. Much like his distinguished Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity brothers, civil rights leader Martin Luther King Junior and Norman Many, a Rhodes scholar Jamaica statesman and fellow Manchester native. Blaze's story is a testament to how intersecting identities and experiences shape are paths and potentials. Blaze's story underscores significance of the mother son relationship, particularly in childhood, the importance of brotherhood, and how
a change in environment can be crucial to personal and professional growth. This episode is inspiring, hilarious, and a remer that we are not our circumstances and with hard work and perseverance, we can achieve anything. Blaize has so many
videos that just absolutely crack me up. But I would have to say my favorite of his is when he's talking about going to parties or going to a dance and them not playing those traditional like old school soulful reggae songs, you know, in the beginning of a dance to kind of get the vibes going, and he sang do experience and stab take in forestal to experience for some one to rocking around and him singing you know. At one point I literally
had tears in my eyes from laughing. So do not say that I did not warn you. Grab your tea, coffee, or a glass of wine and let's talk to things. I mean respectfully and I want to say I feel like I'm saying this unbiasedly. Like Alpha Phi Alpha Incorporate, it has the most notable members of any of the male behind Yeah Things today, Yo, Martin Luther King, I don't have to say nothing else. After that dropped the mic, not more meaning to say, yo, not talk,
don't talk. Hello everyone, Welcome back to another episode of Let's Talk the Things, where we discuss the importance of personal growth, travel, music, and wellness while encouraging you to live fearlessly and fabulously. I am your host, ash and this week we are talking the Things with a man known on social media for his hilarious takes on Caribbean culture and his creative musical talent, Plase Hi Blaze. Hell good good, Oh my god, please don't call
me miss. You're gonna make the people think I'm older. You know, you have to start over, you have to come again. You can the people thinking I'm an old woman. Oh my god, We're sorry. Sorry, all right, Ashley, how you doing? Thank you for having me. I'm well, thank you, thanks for being here. And you know what's so funny. Every time I see your name, I think of that Champau song, Ever Blazing, Ever Blazing. Yo, yeah, I turned into a dance artist for like five minutes. How did you come up with
that name? By the way, actually it was like an old nickname back home in the neighborhood from originally from Long Island, so it was like a big get, like crazed back in the days. And my my dancing name was Blaze Kid Blaze, and then they just stuck. Everybody back home knows me as Blaze seen twelve years old. So wait, you just reviewed that. This is a bit of information I did not know. You're also a dancer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, big. You know the man said
big dancing, you know, not little dancer, but big. Yeah. Yeah, I used to. I used to be the dance group back when I was like like eight years old. All my older cousins, my dad dancers. Anybody from Long Island to the county, National County know about my but I was I was junior high look ahead. So well, we're gonna have to unpack that later. I'm getting sidetracked because you're telling me all these
exciting things. I didn't even know whoa that's amazing. So when we have guests, I like to begin in each episode with our listeners and mine's favorite episode or favorite episode listen to me favorite segment called that no sound safe? And so basically what it is is, I'm going to read social media posts that listeners sent in, and if you think it sounds crazy or a little
bit concerning, you would respond that no sound safe and explain why. And if you agree, you can say that sound safe or you can just say you agree and then explain why makes sense. So the first one, this one's a little rough, but it's kind of true. So the person said, ladies, please stop editing your photos. What if you go missing? How do you expect us to find you if you look like Beyonce on Instagram but look like Ninja man in person? Oh my god. Okay, I
want to answer this very careful. That's good, Okay, careful, yes, very careful. I think you know, whatever makes whatever makes women feel, you know, feel good about themselves, you know, whatever makes anybody feel good about themselves, it's a little edits, you know, giving it, give a little edit, but you shouldn't do it too drastic because you know, yeah, you got to put up missing photos, you know.
But I'm sure somebody has a photo without any other edits of you. So at the end your Instagram photos are fine, you want to edit them, You're fine because at the end of the day, your family has polaroid pictures of you or something that they can use that has no ed So you're good.
Ladies people making sure. I say, you know, but like you said, I think this person is trying to say if you want to edit here, and they're cool, but you should not look so drastically different that in the event that God forbid you go missing, the person that you really look like is not the person in the picture that everybody is, you know, being shown right. You know, sometimes I feel really badly for men because as women, we can alter our appearance with makeup. All you guys
have is hats. All you can do. So you got a little bit of enhancements at the barber, that's it. A beard, that is it. And I'm just like, man, you know what if you see a woman out somewhere and you're like, wow, she's beautiful, and then she washes her face and it's just like a whole different person. Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure most men have run into that before. Yeah, it's a common occurrence. My mom always told me makeup is supposed to enhance your beauty,
it's not supposed to completely change your appearance. So yeah, just putting that out there. Okay. So the next one is sometimes people ask you to open up so they can get a front row seat to your trauma. They don't actually care, they just want to know what you've been through so they can feel better about their life by seeing the worst parts of yours. True. No, that sound right, yep? Okay, Okay. Have you ever had a situation like that where you felt like somebody was asking you
things or being inquisitive? Yeah? I think probably in my younger years I experienced, you know, people trying to really just hear what you've been through or you know, like a traumatic experience and kind of just trying to hear about it just for entertainment. Yeah, and stuff like that. But you know, as I grew, I kind of got better discernment of people, and I just kind of always, you know, been able to read vibes kind of quick. So I just keep those kind of people away from me
very early on, so didn't even get a chance to do that. Nice. That's good, that's good learning. Discernment early is very important. So the next one, imagine burning stage and you pass out because you're the evil spirits. Clean your heart too bad mine? Yeah, that one cracked me up. Nothing passing out that assault safe at all? Okay? And the final one for this segment, somebody said, one of my students today was crying and I told him to wipe his face because he's a big boy.
He replied, I'm allowed to have feelings, and honestly, I couldn't even say anything because he was right, that's right, that's right, that's all good, you know, I will say. I think it's more there's more of an appetite to allow little boys and young men and men in general just to be able to express their emotions. And I think that that's going to
do a great deal for like the next generation. Oh yeah, because I think so many men are violent because in their childhood they weren't allowed to express their emotions, you know, so therefore they didn't really know as they got older, like how to deal with certain things. You know. I hear on the news all the time young women getting killed just because they rejected giving
someone their phone number. Like that's crazy to me, right, you know, and so like it makes you wonder, like how many little boys didn't have a teacher like this guy that's saying it's okay to cry, right right? And I think you know a lot of the you know, a lot of the issues kind of like what you were saying, Like a lot of issues come from repressed emotions, you know, saying, and a lot of men and them not even knowing how to how to kind of let it out.
So all they know is like violence or men are supposed to just be tough, rugged, you know what I mean, So when they feel something, all they know is blowing up. And you know how we have these situations where you know, men are just crashing out, never even you know, not even they understand why right, Yes, Oh my god, that's so true because if that's all they know, or maybe even all they've seen,
they're trying to figure out what's wrong with everybody else exactly exact. A lot of the people I work with, like a lot of my clients, I don't know if you you know, but I'm actually a therapist, so like I never knew that. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of my life is a lot of my professional life is low key, but yeah, actually my master's and social work. So yeah, work as associated therapist. God line this right up, because you're the perfect person to talk to about mental
health. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah, that's what I experienced. You know, a lot of the male clients, they just never had a comfortable environment to you know, really expect them and their feelings, and you know, they're finally stepping in the therapy now because you know, in our community, now therapy is becoming you know, more of a thing, a lot more understanding. So you know, now they're finally being able to let it out and then so it's a beautiful thing. Okay, well that was a
perfect segue, and that segment was hilarious. It always is. But no, we're really going to talk to things right. So, as I said, June is Men's Mental Health Month and it's also Caribbean American Heritage Month, so you can celebrate twice. That's amazing. So our listeners love when I have male guests. I think they really enjoy the conversation just because this podcast
in general is you know, not salicious, not about gossip. It's really just a safe space for people to come and like talk about life and you know, just how all getting through life, and it's everyone from everyday people to celebrities. But when you listen to the episodes and you listen to people talk like we're all experiencing the same thing, you know, So I think that I shouldn't say. I think the feedback that I've gotten is it's good
to have men come on and kind of speak for themselves. And I love that because in my private life, I always say, you know, I don't really subscribe to women speaking on behalf of men, right, because I've could have done a whole episode or a whole month worth of episodes talking about how I think men feel, and you know what, I've interpreted in my own dealings with men in my life. But to me, that's not as
impactful because again, I'm not a man, you know. So I think this is always good to have these kind of conversations just to create dialogue, because it makes other people have dialogue with their friends, you know, right. You know what, before we actually really start, since you shocked me with Whole Dancer and all these other things, Therapist that I didn't know about, tell me who is Blaze? And I want you to answer without stating your name. What you do or where you're from. So who are you
like to your core, I am, I am loved. I feel like that's one of the main things that I trying to radiate all at all times with anybody, you know, making them feel love and you know, like leaving whatever interaction with me and they just feel good, like their heart is filled in some type of way, whether I left them with something or you know, something just something that resonated with them, or they just felt like,
you know, that energy was just good. Like I always want to radiate love because you know the world is so crazy nowadays, and you know what I'm saying, everybody's going through something. So if I could just let you feel loved in your interaction with me, and I left my mark, you know in the world, I'm doing God's work in some type of way. I am a family that is one of the most I have a huge family like as many Jamaicans do, but but very big on a family.
I try to make it a point to make it to anything I can make it to support in any type of way I can, and you know, just kind of show love and work to my family, let them know that up here, and you know, I could see that it resonates with them like yo, you know, of course it comes with you know, it comes to some weight sometimes like wait where are you at? You not?
He not coming? Like you know what I mean, It comes to something that sometimes or like when you're dad, we just stop partly start already. I'm like, you know, I'm on my way, like it's one hundred people there. Why am I so important? But you know it, it feels good to know that, you know, I'm a staple to to my to my tribe, you know what I mean? Right? Right? So yeah, that I am. I am. I don't want to say I
am. I want to say I'm trying to be I'm trying to be an ally right and an ally to people who need or don't have as much of a voice. Right. And as a black man, you know, we don't have as much of a voice, but black women even less of a
voice than us. And you know, I try to do a lot of work to be an ally you know, seeing a black woman, try to protect black women as much as I can, try to speaking for a black women as much as I can, you know, And I feel like a lot of that, yeah, a lot of that was in part because my mom, you know what I mean, My mom, that's my best friend. She really, you know, poured into me the importance of disrespecting women and protecting women, you know what I'm saying. So I try to I
try to do a lot of work to do that. You know, those people that do know me, they they can attest to the fact that I'm not capping. But yeah, I think, and I'm sorry for those of you that are of a different generation or don't quite understand the slang capping. Capping means he is not lying, like but yeah, and then uh, I think what else? What I want to end with? I am determination no matter what. If I have a goal, I'm going to I'm want
to reach it, you know what I mean. I've I've had numerous moments in my life where like things gotten dark and I don't know how I'm about to continue, you know, my mental health all messed up, or finances might be messed up, or you know what I mean. I'm just kind of all over the place. But I've always made away. And it's not just me, it's God, you know what I mean. So I just let God worked with me a lot of times, and you know it always
works out for the best. So yeah, I love that. I'm really glad you brought up your mom because I always like to bring it back to women in some way, particularly you know, a mom or a grandmother or aunt or anything like that, because I truly do believe that affects how boys become certain type of men, you know, And you said on your own something so key that your mom poured into you, and she more than likely showed you through through actions, you know, the importance of respecting women and
taking up for them and things of that nature. And so that is probably that probably has a lot to do with why you are the way you are and why you know you are so sought after, you know, in your family, because you do make people feel that way and such a gift because
some people, you know, you leave them and you feel drained. So yeah, you never know what sense of joy you're bringing to anyone, even in your family, because sometimes I think you can take that for granted, right, like you can think, oh, you know, it's just my family, Like that's just my cousin or my brother or my aunt or whoever. But you never know what they're dealing with and how just being around you can kind of like help them cope with whatever they're dealing with, right,
you know, absolutely, and I take pride in that. Do you brought up you know, mental health? Obviously that's perfect because that's what we're talking
about. But I also want to how do I say, like intertwine it with growing up as a Jamaican person in America, right, a Jamaican man at that I should say, do you feel like there are certain expectations of you as a Jamaican man so on top of like being a man, a black man, and then your culture, do you think there's certain expectations as far as like how you express emotion, like how you deal with certain things, or do you feel that even though there are those cultural expectations, your
mom or your parents or your family set up an environment where you could still feel safe to express those emotions. Oh yeah, definitely. I think you know culturally of course, right, you know, you know, toughing up yourself, you know, you know, all all of those things that it's just like manly man stuff, and you know a lot of it really boils
down to, you know, unfortunately toxic masculinity sometimes. Absolutely, but you know, my mom and you know even my dad, like, you know, but like really, really really my mom is you know, of course they like the nurture and all of that stuff. My dad Country Country, Manchester. But at the end of the day, he had a lot of unlearning to do too. But you know, great, great God nonetheless loving
his death. But my mom really, you know, really made it a point to you know, let me know that I could tell her anything, you know, I could, I could open up and I could feel whatever. I could cry, you know what I'm saying. Something hurt, I
could say it hurt. That's great, you know what I mean. And you know, as much as yeah, I still was getting entrenched in, you know, maybe toxic masculinity through you know, just environment and growing up and you know, just being outside on my own, I still held onto a lot of those you know a lot of those teachings from my mom and you know a lot of those things that she kind of parted on me. So when it was time for me to unlearn a lot of things, it
was a lot easier because I kind of had a head start. That makes perfect sense, big old mommy one. Yeah, So speaking of masculinity, right, have you ever encountered examples of positive masculinity that kind of challenge the traditional stereotype like of what it is to be quote unquote a man. I
think, uh, I think the first thing that comes to mind. I'm sure, I'm sure it's a bunch, but I think the first thing that comes to mind is men is showing each other love, like male friends showing each other love and even even sneaking it, right, Like I got I got a friend group, like we actually verbally say, which I feel like this is a new thing nowadays, right, it's not. It's not something I was going on back in the day. But like we we really say like, oh I love you, bro, or like love you, you
know what I mean? And like that wasn't a thing, especially not even for Jamaican men, you know what I mean? Too much? You know, Yeah, I might I say oh I love you to their to their friends. But yeah, that's so true. Yeah, a bunch of why exactly exactly, But it's a real thing because you never know when you know, you never know what can happen, you know what I mean? And if you genuinely do feel that for your friends, you know, either my
group of my best friends, you know what I'm saying. I genuinely love these guys, so I want them to know because I never know, you know, what can happen tomorrow or if there's going to be a tomorrow. So yeah, absolutely, no, that's that's such an important point, and you know, it makes me wonder I should I guess I should say I should ask you why do you think there's that like reluctance among men to express
emotions or vulnerability. I mean, of course, I guess. You know, societally, men are just supposed to be tough and hold it, you know what I mean. And you know, boy, the whole even the whole concept that everybody boys don't cry and all of that stuff, like we've all heard these things and these things have been you know, kind of seared
into our brains from young you know what I mean. So I think we just hold on to a lot of those concepts, a lot of those schemas, and we get older and we never let go of it, and yeah, that's kind of how it boils down. Yeah, no, that's so true. And you know, I think it says a lot that you have a group of friends that are okay with that, because I think every now and then you'll find like one and two men that you know say what you
just said. But it's usually like one guy in the group is like that and you're like, oh, you know, he's like the emotional one or whatever he'll get labeled as. But the fact that you have a group of friends like that, I mean, they must have been raised similarly to you because they're comfortable with that. No, right, right, exactly. Yeah,
all all good guys. All you know, all dudes, you know, different upbringings, but all of us have you know, the utmost I can I can attach to this because these the type of dudes that I have around all have the highest respect for women, and you know what I mean, are just okay with being vulnerable and you know, showing their emotions when when need be. Not saying we all walk around crying every day. But you know what I mean, if you have a moment and somethings going on,
you know what I'm saying. Because among the group, some some you know, deep things have gone on, Like you know I'm saying, family wise, losses and all that stuff. We've been there for each other and really have been that shoulder, saying that shoulder a lean for one another. So yeah, yeah, good guys, man, And you know not just because I know when people think of emotions, they think of like the Michael Jordan crying face, right, But emotions could be anger. Emotions could be
just like despair, you know, not necessarily crying. But you're just like in a funk. Maybe you're depressed, you know, or maybe And I think this is a great example, like you're having issues with your girlfriend or your wife or whatever the case may be. I always wonder if men are holding their friends accountable for their behavior. And I'll give you an example. So let's say you go out and you stay out very late and it brings
up an argument with you and your partner. Right, are you going to your friends group and telling them that and they're saying like, yeah, man, like you shouldn't do that because you know that she doesn't like that, and da da da, she's a nice woman. Or are they more of the friends that are like, man, it's no big deal, Like you're young, you should be outside. Yeah. See that's the thing, right.
I thank God every day for my friend group, right, one best friend back home, you know what I'm saying, Stanley, And then I got my friend group that came from college and all of them similar. That's why I kind of like made all of them kind of blended together. But yeah, like the fact that we hold each other accountable, that's so important.
Like I've had moments where you know, like you know, my wan get dark, you know, saying all this girl, you know did this, and all right, I'm about to go out here and talk to this girl, that girl, and they're like, yo, you know you love her, Like why are you even gonna why are you gonna do that? For what? What are you gonna get out of that? You know what
I mean? I love it. I mean it might it might piss me off in a moment, but right in the moment, But but for real, like I appreciate that because it's really it's really like a space to really be like transparent and real one another, like we do it all over, we do it FaceTime in person, really do check ins and with each other. Yeah, definitely real. So switching gears a little bit. I find your videos so hilarious. When I tell you hilarious, I mean like tears
in my eyes because I'm thinking, like, how does he know? It's the same thing I say when I watch Dale Elliott's video videos. I'm like, how do these people know my life? Like, how do they know what we all deal with? Right? It just tells me all of our parents get like this one handbook, right, and they all do the same thing. I feel like Jamaica and children out there, Caribbean children in general. But obviously we're Jamaica and so that's what we know. Are entitled to
compensation. Okay for this particular thing. Yes, you had a video where you talked about your mom's name and it being completely different. Yep. And although that hasn't happened with my parents, it happened with one of my aunts. I have an aunt. I've known her as one name my entire life, and I was literally in my mid twenties when I said, wait, why is everyone calling her that name? When she like, what telling me?
I'm telling you? So, can you explain just in general, like how you come up with these videos because they're so funny, you know, just the nuances of being Jamaican, and just explain that to the people that may not have seen your content, so they're not really familiar with what I'm talking about, right, I mean, yeah, a lot of my videos just coming from the experiences you know, of course I have, like you know, a way of making it comedic and you know, like the comedic
comedic timing, little you know, punchlines here and there. Really just really just blows down to my experiences that I've had, you know what I mean, whether it's growing up or just being you know, Jamaican, and of course Jamaican's are the these people on the earth anyway, So you know, imagine just talking about our life and our upbringing and all that stuff. There's so many jokes to make about it at the end of the day. I love to, you know, at least make sure that it's still positive at
the end of the day. If you like, anybody that goes on my page, if you you know now that I'm saying, if you take a look all my videos, you know, have some type of positivity to it, especially if I'm talking about somebody else's culture, like I've done videos about you know, African culture and Haitian Haitian culture, and you know, Soka
culture, you know, Trinidad grenade and all that stuff. And as much as you know, I could throw my little jokes and punchlines in there, I always try to make sure it has like an underlying tone of unity in there. So yeah, you know, jokes but jokes, but love. You know what I'm saying. Love love jokes. That's what I like to call it. So yeah, So what happened with your mom? That really
happened? That was like a true story, Yes, a true story like I you please tell it like in summary please, yes, yes, yes. So my mom's name is to this day, my mom's name is jid It. Okay, nobody don't know her. As a matter of fact, some of the family found out that she had an actual government name outside of it from the TikTok. People were saying, my mom the TikTok like we
had like yeah, I real, I really think this. So yeah, like my mom name is Jidit like it's from from from young her name is j and people just remember being young, you know, I get it to age where I can enter the house phone, you know what I mean and kind of tell whoever that you know, whoever's not here. I remember answering the house phone and I'm keeping a let's see you, like listen, let's see you, let's see you. Who's who's Lisa, Let's see I'm like,
who is this? I then it. He didn't come and say, yo, all I heard that my dad was, you know, a gallus back in the day. It's how she can tell knew this, like what is going on? So free let me say, yo. I have to my mom, like I'm about to break my family apart. I have to tell my mom that there's a Lisa out here, Lisa Rose, that my dad has two wives. I mean, but you know, as a little
kid, like you can't really I can't really understand what's going on. I'm just, however, I feel that's what happened and how I felt once my dad had two wives, and I'm about to break my family apart. Have to break the news to my mom. So so I went to my mom and I'm like, well, I gotta tell you something. I'm literally on the verge of crying because I'm like, I can't believe this has to be me as a pickny. Somebody has to do it because they keep calling,
and I don't want you to find out any other way. Yeah, to go around like mummy, like there is there is no collect the calling the house. They keep asking for Lisa. She's like, we had what a myxphone? Like Alisa Rose mommy a Lisa Rose and she's like I call you no, no, oh god, oh, She's like, no, I saw mena, that's my name. My name is Lucilla, you know, I know. I'm like, no, I never know who is see you? She's like, you never heard nobody calls no mommy? Your name is
Juded. Who's listea? Like what to me? I got two moms? But yeah, man, true story that my grandma name not Pazzi, her name Eli, and all types of family member's name and not cousins not Angie. I didn't me and Dane, I'm like, what is happening? Are any of you real? Like? Who am I? But you know first
of all that I don't. I'm literally in tears, like I've never heard the story before because it's so hilarious to me, because I feel like everybody has a story, like we are entitled to paint And sorry, I'm I found out some of my family member's name at funerals, Like who is am I at the right funeral? Like what what is doing on? Like at what town hall meeting? Did y'all make this a thing? Every Jamaican has
to have another name? Why is it so common? Oh? My gosh, no, man, m M, I should not be in terrorist This is hilarious. Things too confusing, like what how am I supposed to how are you supposed to be identified? Like what? Oh my god? And it's the fact that they think it's so normal. They don't understand why we're so confused. We're looking at us like, yeah, she has a different name, like so you know, like, what's the big deal that's that's
different. I don't think other cultures do this thing much, is us, And like you said, it would be a completely different name, not even like a shortened version of the same name, not even like a nickname where it's like my name is this, but okay, my nick you know my nickname is Blazed. No no, no, no, no, my name is Rayquon. You're gonna call me Robert? Where did you get roberts old Tariaquan, which how there's no correlation whatsoever? My mom name is her government
is listening, Where did you get from this? It's insane, It's insane, and it won't even be I remember asking my dad like, well, is it her middle name or He's like no, what we decided that this was gonna be her name. I just don't understand all Jamaicans listening on a tool confusing stop it? No, please, yes, we need to make like a p s A or a billboard or something like. Please stop it with this generation. Let's end this now, you please please? Oh my
gosh, well okay, who I mean? I knew I was gonna laugh, but my goodness, it's even funnier hear you tell it? Okay. So obviously your content creation brings joy to many persons. I am one of them. But do you use the content creation as a form of even helping with your mental health or do you solely do it just for you know, the joy of others, like just to share and as you said earlier,
to bring joy to others. So for me, it's kind of merged, right me bringing joy to others makes me feel good, right, me making other people smile or make other people laugh, It makes me feel good, and you know, it brings me like I don't know, like euphoria, right, brings me happiness. So when I post my content, you know, when I see so many like laughing emojis and everything and all the comments and stuff, and I'm like, you know, it just it gives me
like a warm feeling. So yeah, it definitely helps my mental health as well. Nice. Nice, And you are also a musician, yes, And I know that many persons that are artists, they talk about music being like an outlet for them, you know, whether it's to express their emotions or what you just said, you know, to bring joy to other people, or to tell a story in hopes of helping other people. When did you first discover your love for music. I was very young. I was
probably around five six. I was rapping, like writing raps from then, standing how to play instruments, learn how to play the drums. I played a drum set in church. Yeah, I learned how to play the trumpet, xylophone. Yeah, you know, just reading music overall. Oh wow, so you kind of read music as well. Yeah yeah, yeah, definitely nice. Nice And did you use it as like as an outlet or was it just more like, oh, you know, I'm good at this
and so you kind of just stuck with it. It was both, you know, I was pretty good at it from you know, from even them days, so you know, I definitely stuck with it. But it was definitely an outlet for me too. Even in my lyrics, I would talk about you know, stuff that was like bothering me or something that you know I witnessed or or saw or you know, anything like that, and you know, I always put it in my music. But it was just also
outlet for me too. It was almost just like, uh, just a general outlet, like it was my getaway, right, it was me. Yeah, it was just me feeling like like I'm doing what makes me the happiest in the world. Nothing, you know, nothing that I can do makes me happier than doing music. So that's been the same, and that's been the thing since I was a kid. So oh wow, very nice, very nice. And what would you say inspires most of your music?
No? And does that differ from what inspired you to write music or play music? Maybe like ten years ago? I think what maybe when I was when I was a kid, I didn't live as much life, so a lot of my raps were just you know, just you know, stuff that I guess sounded cool or whatever. But as I got older, experienced a lot more you know, things that I can put into music. You know, I guess that is kind of my inspiration now more so like life experiences
and you know, my feelings about things. Sometimes even things that are going on in the world. I've done that as well. That's to do a lot of poetry too. I used to do spoken word, and I actually went a couple of days a couple of spoken word competitions that my teenage yeers nice you know, say I've a voice for spoken word. I'm not surprised on your two times. So it's a lot more lifely inspired now and love
inspire now. Yeah, no, that makes perfect sense because obviously the older you get, the more life experiences you have, so you know you'll be able to talk about more. There's been some discussion and it's funny, it's like a full circle moment because I've had this discussion with a friend of mine on this podcast, Donald and I believe also Matthew, who I told you. We did the episode Growing Up Jamaica, and we talked about the effect
of music on violence in Jamaica and throughout the diaspora. So while I was at Harvard, I did a project about violence against women and girls throughout the Jamaica and diaspora. Right at the time, there just seemed to be it just seemed to be like every time I went online, I was seeing another young girl killed or another woman, you know, beaten to death by our
boyfriend or something. And I started to see a lot of talk about how certain persons were saying, you know, they blame dancehall or they blame the music, and they and we kind of had a discussion of basically, I felt like, it can't be just the music, right because I listened to the music too, and I don't want to do anything. You don't want
to you know, commit crimes or anything like that. So I would love to know your thoughts on how you feel that music affects, you know, violence anywhere, but particularly since we're talking about our community, violence against women and girls within our culture or within our community. I think, you know, maybe for people like us that are strong willed or you know, just
kind of have our own perspectives or personalities, were not as impressionable. We could listen to you know, music and just be a tune that we're playing, and that's fine, you know what I'm saying. It doesn't do anything to our mental makers want to do anything. But there are some people out there, right, especially some young people, that they are very impressionable when
it comes to pop culture. Right. They're looking at whoever they think is the coolest, and that's who they literally want to be to the team, you know what I mean. One of my favorite artists of all time is Vibes Cartel, right, and I don't want to be Vibes Cartel, you know what I mean. Like I can sing his songs verbatim for anybody, but I don't want to be him. I live like him. But some you know, some young people out there, you know, they're listening to
these artists and they literally want to be them. They're so impressionable. That's the coolest thing in the world, is to emulate everything that they're doing and saying, or you know, or worse so, I think you know, there are there are a lot of people out there that are making their moves based off of what they're hearing music because you know, they just want to be or they want to literally embody what these artists are talking about their music.
Unfortunately, right a lot of these artists are not even doing what they're saying, you know what I mean. Like it's that part that really bothers me. And but it's like you said, because they're so impressionable, they don't even know that exactly exactly they want to make it reality as they want to make it as real as possible. So like I you know some I guess using the artists that's not from Jamaica, But like Future, you know
what I mean. Future says he don't do none of the drugs that he talks about in his music, But there's somebody out there that is listening in the future but wants to make that as real as that character. He wants to make that as real as possible, or wants to embody that character as much as possible, and they're going to actually take it as far as actually living that. And here you are now drug addicts, you know what I mean. So yeah, I think, yeah, no, that is Oh
that's so true. Well what do you think, I guess would be my next question. How do you think actually we as a community can help to mitigate the violence against women and girls because we can't stop it. I mean, there's a lot of factors that go into why this type of violence happens. But I also think it has to do with what we spoke about in
the beginning of the podcast, which was relationships between mother and son. Right, you have a lot of young boys that their mothers were very mean to them, or didn't treat them very nicely, or maybe treated them the way they felt about their fathers, or just things like that that make them that create a disdain for women in these little boys that then become men, and then you know, feel like, Okay, I'm a man now, so
now i can talk to women any kind of way. And I'm not gonna take this because my mom used to tell me I was this and I was that, and call me names and all kinds of things. You know, So I'm just curious from a man's perspective, and because you said you actually had the total opposite experience. You had a mother that poured into you. Have you witnessed anyone have certain behaviors and recognize Oh, while you know, it probably has a lot to do with like how they were spoken to her,
You can kind of tell they came from a tumultuous environment. Oh yeah, absolutely. I think I think a lot of it was down to maybe your relationship with your mother, maybe the environment that you grew up in where in your community or in your neighborhood, Like you know, you saw people treat women like they were lesserman, you know what I mean, And then you just kind of adopted that perspective that Okay, women are lesson then I'm
gonna talk to them like this. They're you know, uh, they're for you know, good for nothing, but like you know, sexual interactions and stuff like that, and after that, you know, get out, get
out of my face. And you know a lot of people are coming from these type of backgrounds or you know, witnessing maybe like you know, it could be like domestic violence in the household and stuff like that, and they're just using this as modeling and leaving the house and you know, going into the world with these same perspectives about women and then you know, the cycle
continues. So yeah, I think I think I think that's what it kind of that's that's kind of what's been happening without without seen at least as a community. What do you think that we can do to Just like I said, we can't decrease it because we're only two people in our case as we're talking here, right, But what can we do to mitigate the violence against women and girls? So for example, not telling you what to say,
but just kind of giving you an idea of what I mean. So for example, maybe you have it being a therapist and maybe some of your clients being Caribbean men, you know, you're helping to minimize those chances of this person being a violent man towards a woman because you're there talking things through with them and helping them express their emotions something like that, right, right, So, of course, one kind of highlighting mental health for for men to
kind of have emotional regulation, you know, something that I think is a lot newer or you know, for the mental health community from black men working through that, because you know, it's a recipe for disaster if you're you know, you see women as lesser than and then you have trouble with emotional regulation. You know what I mean, those two things put together, it's gonna equal. You know, it's gonna equal a disaster, you know what
I mean. You're gonna get mad, you're gonna you're gonna blow up, and it's gonna you're gonna blow up with your girlfriend or your wife or whoever, and it's gonna turn into, you know, uh, a traumatic situation.
So I think one is highlighting emotional regulation amongst you know, black men so that they can understand how to control themselves when they get upset or you know, when something maybe throws them off a little bit and not just you know, resulting in anger and violence and all of that in any in any you know, any aspect, but mainly of course, you know, when
dealing with women. That's why I think maybe for the people who are the leaders in our community, which of course usually was either being like rappers and you know, athletes and stuff, you know, breaking character a little bit, right, I mean, for the ones who don't you don't speak that,
you know, continue doing what you're doing. But for the ones that, you know, maybe make music about you know, or you know, say some stuff that kind of sound a little bit of meaning to women, break characters sometimes, you know what I mean, break character and then you say, you know, big up all they get them, you know what I mean, and just you know, all don't mind them, respectable mind you know whatever, whatever you've got to do, just kind of like because
these kids are literally eating at the palm in your hands, so just like show them sometimes yo, we're not a music on music, but we're not. We're not, we're not, you know what I mean, and just kind of make these kids or leave that type of impression on them sometimes.
And then overall I think, you know, just having conversations like these where we are, you know, we're able to have this kind of dialogue and you know, influence others these type of dialogues and you know, maybe we can touch our network and then other people get their network and you know, just keep it going so on and so forth. So yeah, I love that perfect, perfect perfect. I think you know, like I said,
I think these conversations help a lot. One of the things that one of my aunts and my parents even said is sometimes it's just helpful to hear a man and a woman having a conversation that is not riddled in like GOSSI for a man versus woman, or you know, it's just like wow, okay, so we can have conversations and not be at each other's throats or you know, trying to say this gender doesn't understand this gender and because the reality
is we'll never like you're always going to be a man, I'm always going to be a woman, right, So it's how can we have conversations to more so understand each other than to put each other down or to put penny each other against each other. You know, like to me, that doesn't
that doesn't really help anyone. So hopefully this is a safe space for everybody you know to come and listen to us talk the things right absolutely segueing into something a little different but related to brotherhood, which we talked about with you and your friends. You are also a member of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity. Can you tell us where you went to school? And I think you mentioned it a little bit earlier, but maybe for just in case it didn't come
out clear, can you tell us where you went to school? What made you want to join a fraternity and then Alpha obviously, and how being part of a brotherhood would you say helps you and could help maybe young men listening that are considering joining right, So, yeah, I went to Delaware State University. I got my bachelor's in twenty eighteen and my master's in twenty twenty two. But yeah, I crossed to the Gama Sigma Chapter five Trinity Incorporated
in fall eighteen, and yeah like it. It has been one of the most fulfilling, one of the Yeah, one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. You know, I grew up in Amityville, Long Island. For anybody who knows about Long Island, you know it's a lot of people, know, like the mob. Why this type of area, you know, the areas with money and stuff like that. Oh is that where they're from? Yeah? Like yeah, a lot of people you know, from
the my bods are like dumble tamp of areas. But you know, among among that is the little pockets where are like it's completely overlooked because it's the hood, you know what I mean. And you know the cops, you know, the police and all of that. They just focused on what's good because if we can keep the good good, we'll be fine. Forget about this area over here. Who you know, it's in turmoil, ten shootings a week and all that stuff, you know what I mean, forget about
it. Yeah. So I grew up in you know, one of those type of areas and you know, brotherhood, you know, it really just didn't have the best Like I didn't have the best experiences of brotherhood, you know what I mean. A lot of it was people bonding over like negativity,
you know what I mean. It's some of that I fell into as well, you know, unfortunately, but you know that was my experience, and you know my way out was went to college, right, you know, I had some experiences back home that you know, it was it was a lot, you know, and you know, me being able to me being able to go away. But that was my ticket to you know, save myself, save my life. So with me going away, I was exposed to, you know, fraternities. I'm like, what's all lit?
Everybody wearing the same color? And you know, right because being Jamaica and you know, you don't get exposed to that. Move on after talking about that, you don't really have that exposure exactly exactly. So I'm like, what they like, Let's see what am I doing? Everybody? You know, everybody doing they stepping and strolling. I'm like, you know, I see the see the other fraternities, and I'm like, okay, they seem like they really like each other. You know, they watch each other all
the time. But I don't really know what's what, what's what's what?
What's it all about? Yeah, but might not do together? I didn't think that, but nah, but no, I uh, you know, after a little while, I you know, started to get to know some of the some of the bros that was that that was around, you know, dibbling, dabbling, telling the different fraternities and stuff, and none of them really resonated with me until I was speaking to you know, the alphas that are around, and you know, they kind of more resonated with me,
just as men, right, They genuinely cared about me, you know, a young eighteen nineteen year old at the time, just bettering his life and getting anything he needed, getting advice and you know, just kind of understanding the ropes of college and my future and stuff like that. And whether I joined their fraternity or not, they still wanted to see me succeed, you know what I mean. So like, you know, that kind of resonated with me. And then I you know, I started doing my own
research and stuff. I'm like, you know what, let me see what this black and gold stuff is about. I don't mean, not too annoy
it and might do button. Let me just read up something. So, you know, I started doing my research stuff and I'm like, you know, everybody, everybody you know, checking notable members and stuff like that, but like I mean respectfully, and I want to say I feel like I'm saying this unbiasedly, Like Alpha PI Alpha Turning Incorporated has the most notable members of any of the male organizations we have things today, Yo, Martin Luther
King. Come on now, I don't have to say nothing else. After that dropped the mic and nothing more meaning to say, Martin Luther King. Everybody yo, not talking, but none talk but no Martin Luther King. You know what I'm saying. W boys, like it's it's you know what
I'm saying. Thirdgood Marshall. And then something that resonated with me also was you know our our airport, you know, kingsty Airport, Norman Manly Norman mainly was actually a member of people knowing that that, you know, I'm like, oh, like the whole you know, politician from you know, Jamaica is you know in this fraternity, you know what I mean, I'm like, wow, and one of the most prominent of all time. I was like, you know what, let me look into this and from from
there, you know, as you yeah, kind of like this. But yeah, man, it was one of the best traces I've ever made. I don't regret it a bit. I met, you know, great brothers, some of lifelong friends along the way, you know, great men like mutual you know what I mean. Like, as you can see, it's just a network of really stand up dudes, you know. Yeah, it's been great. I love that. I love that. And what would you say, was or is something that you learned from an alpha that has significantly
impacted your life. I think I've learned. One of the main things I've learned is being able to vulnerable, Like be vulnerable with like if you're like if you're hurt, or you know you're you're you're sad, or you know you need help with something. Being able to just be transparent and real with the brothers around you, you know what I mean. Like a lot of times, of course, as man, we want to hold it. We just want to be like I got this, so I'll push through it whatever.
But you know, through my you know, through my journey and becoming an alpha and being around alphas and all that stuff, and ever since, I've had moments where I wasn't okay. I've had moments where I needed help. You know. I have moments where you know, like, yo, I don't got it today, Like you know what I'm saying, Like today ain't my day. It needs to be your day, you know what I
mean. And in those moments, you know, you know you got a brother that's friendly to like step up and be like I got you to that, you know what I mean, or you know, you know, don't worry about it today, you know, or tell me what's going on with you. You could talk to me. And you know, I learned that from you know, numerous bros, but you know, a couple in particular. So yeah, yeah, I think that's that's been one of the main
important things that I was taught through my journey. That's really beautiful. I think, like I said, you were earlier talking about your friends, you know, but as you're talking about the brotherhood and what you were able to get from that too, I think that kind of resonates with the idea that
it's really important for men. It sounds like to me to have a group of friends or brothers or whoever, just other men that they can rely on and that they can speak to and as you said, they can be vulnerable with, because I don't think there are a lot of spaces for men to
be vulnerable, you know. And I think it's very good that you did your own research and you didn't just join so you can get the woman then you know, you really joined because you saw you know, you mentioned certain prominent persons were part of this organization, which to me as you, as you surmise, would say a lot about the organization, right, So I think I think you know as you're talking, it's like, I don't know
if you notice, but it's almost like your whole life aligned. I know you're the therapist here, but you know, in my mind, I'm a therapist. Therapists sometimes I'm telling you, so, yeah, keep talking to things. No, But it's like, you know from you saying that your mom created this environment, and I'm sure your dad did too, but I'm focusing on mom because I think the mother and son relationship is very important in who a man becomes. That's just my thoughts. I don't know if that's
a fact, but that's just my opinion, right. And yeah, and so the fact that she created that, you know, that didn't absolve you of maybe getting into situations that you look back and say, man, you know what was I doing? Because those are all lessons, right, nothing
is a mistake at least. I believe everything happens for a reason. And as you said, thank god you were afforded the opportunity to go to a different environment, right, And it also shows that you know your environment can really change the trajectory of your life, because think of who you would have been had you stayed in that environment. You know, all the things I think we would be here, No, because it's a real thing. Although your mom did all that she did, she can't be around you twenty four
to seven, you know what I mean. Like, I've not been a mom yet and I don't know what that's like. But I just think, wow, how did my parents like let us even out of their sight? Because the world is so crazy and as children, we were all to the host the majority of the day. Like you spent maybe hours with your parents because you're at school, maybe you're in extracurricular activities. You know, you have your friends, Especially as you get older, you spend less and less
time around your parents. So a lot of times children aren't really who they are with their friends as they are with their parents. You know, you said, that's all little strong, you know, make sure you know that mommy is listening. Confession is good for the soul. I'll be all type
of souff know, mommy. No, but seriously, you know, having had that opportunity to go to this new environment and you see this one bag of man and then up up and down and you know, say a chant and you know you're thinking, like, what is this the fact that you looked into it and then you were able to find a space that provided you
with that brotherhood that you obviously needed. You know, maybe you didn't know you needed it because, like you said, you're surrounded by like this is what life is, but you saw like, oh, wow, you know I can have these persons, these men around me that are there for me,
that I can trust that will help me. I think that's like such a full circle moment because to me, that probably contributed to your ability to then be that for other people, right, like to show up for other people and you know, just to be that safe space for others, because I firmly believe that you can't be to others what you're not to yourself, absolutely right, you know. So I just think that, yeah, I just think that you know you as a former Miss Black and Gold. I
guess not former because I'm always Miss Black people. I have to say you made the right choice, as did you, as did you? So for our final segment, I am going to ask you seven rapid fire questions, and I want you to answer with the first thing that comes to your mind. It could be a word or a sentence. Okay, ready mm hmm, all right, you stretch your back and everything like you're ready to answer fast. I don't have a buzzer, but yeah. First question, what
is your favorite childhood memory? Favorite childhood memory? M hm. Favorite childhood memory is my aunt used to have these parties every year for my cousin cousin's birthday. My Auntie Angie and I used to love those parties because it was like it was just all the family was there, well be around each other and run up on So I think, yeah, I think that was my favorite. Very nice. What is your favorite and least favorite zodiac sign?
Favorite capricord, least favorite, the rest of them? Nah, we see ut. Least favorite probably Sagittarius or Geminiica and to it, I really that's that sounds like a story time guys. We'll have to bring him back for that. That sounds like a storytelling whole another episode. I got a whole hour for that. Ready for that? Yet? Oh my god? Well, let me guess. Are you a Capricorn? Is that why you said they're your favorite? Yep? Yep, definitely. Okay, okay, that
makes sense, that makes sense. All right. Next question, what is the most important piece of advice your mother and or grandmother has given you. Favorite piece of advice forgiveness, I think, yeah, I think forgiveness being
able to let bygones, be by guards. Being able to just kind of put things behind you, even if somebody, you know, they hurt you, not saying to you know, let them back in your life to the same degree, but for your heart and your soul, you know, just kind of to clean your clean your heart, I say, you know, just kind of forgiving and moving on. You know, don't hold no hatred, don't hold no grudge. And that's from my mom and my my great
grandma. Big up yourself, big up herself. She just survived a stroke last week, you know, about to get out the hospital. No, no, she's been recovering, man, but she'll warrior eighty eight years old, about to get out the high school in the next few days. Oh that's great, that's great, Thank you God for that. Oh my goodness, Well that is excellent advice. Nobody is worth your health, and you know, forgiveness has a lot to do with that. And plus stress ages
you and we're trying to look young and fresh. We're not trying to get any exactly exactly. You know, that's very good advice. Okay, next question. If you could travel anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go and what five people would you take? Uh it's probably cliche, but I would definitely just go to Jamaica, even though I know there like all the time. But it's just like I I like feeling comfortable.
I like feeling comfortable. I like like being around what I know, and you know, just being able to navigate, like how to navigate. So if I if I had like one like imagine me saying like, oh, I want to go to Greece, and Greece, I'm gonna like it, Like you know what I'm saying, like, oh, I know for you, oh my gosh, you really are a Capricorn. You have to
know like every single details. Yes, yes, absolutely goodness. It would definitely just you know, I mean even if it's like, all right, I'm going to a resort or something, but I get to go, you know, right to Manchester, Tor Frindly and stuff. But you know, beyond that, definitely Jamaica. Well, honestly, I wasn't saying that like it's a bad thing. I was because typically people are like, oh, I want to go to the Maldives or something crazy. But I get what
you're saying. You want to go where you know you're gonna like it, and it's all expensive paid, so now you're gonna charge the good food. I'm gonna have a blast. I know what music is gonna play, I know what dances we can dance. I know the rules out there. Like okay, and then which five people would you take with you? I would take my two cousins, Rochelle Amanda, I would take uh my mom. You know she goes all the time too, so I don't want a party
like how me and party? But yeah, definitely definitely take her. Take miss back because she loved she loved going down to Jamaica too. Okay, last weep? What I take? Last? Probably my h my best friend Stanley. Take him. I don't think he's ever been in Jamaica. I think all the rest of my best friends been to Jamaica. My best friend from back home hasn't been, So I take him. Oh nice, I love that. Okay, And next question, what brings you the most joy?
Making people? Making people happy or making people smile, making people feel loved or warmth, and then family I love that, and then and then music. Music is third music. Okay, Oh, how about what is
a deal breaker for you in a relationship? I think a deal breaker is somebody who somebody who is like uh, I guess, disrespectful, somebody who you know, you know, they get upset whatever and they just show no respect to me, you know what I mean, just cursing me out and called me out my name, or like you know, I bring you home and you could walk past my mom and just walk inside and you know, must say evening or not and like you know, stuff like that, you
know where it's just like you just don't understand the basic concepts of respect for people. That's definitely a deal break. Definitely. Okay. So ladies, you heard it here. First, you must have brought up see yes when you know pursuing mister Blaze. Okay, have your brought up Sea in your purse because it is needed. Keep on that, okay. And the final question, if you could tell your sixteen year old self one thing, what
would you say? I would tell myself be yourself. The things that you think you have to engage in, you don't have to engage in because you're cool. You're cool all by yourself. You're cool enough to just do what makes you happy and to express yourself in the way you want to express yourself. You have to follow by a friend. You don't got to be Gangstan or tough guy or nothing. Do what you're interested in, do what you love to do, and everybody else will follow because it's a cool guys.
Just be a cool guy, man. I love that. Yes, so that's a perfect answer that you're giving, all the perfect answers. I love that, and it's you know, all jokes have said. It's important, right because I feel like there's so much pressure on kids nowadays, like with social media and like you said in the music, them really thinking that these rappers are doing what they're saying and feeling that they have to be that way, whether it's to get friends or girls or whatever. And I think that's
just such an important message, you know, just be yourself right. Absolutely love that. Well, Blaze. Sadly, this concludes episode, but I want to thank you so much for coming to talk the things with me and for sharing your story. And I'm certain that your story will help so many young women, young women and men feel seen and before we go, I would love it if you could tell everyone where they can find you so they
can laugh like me and anything anything else that you want to share. So I'm dope like Blade on all platforms, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, everything, Instagram. Don't like Blazes on Apple Music and Spotify. Just blaze. You know, I dropped the song a little bit. Yeah, a little bit, real, real good tune. But uh, you know it's a
little explicit, So if you're not into that, skip down one. But yeah, Blazes a little bit, you know out now all platforms, And yeah, man, it's definitely an honor, you know that you reached out
and compact the things. It's been a pleasure talking to Thank you so much, of course, of course not It was really fun and I think, you know, like we said, this conversation is definitely going to be helpful to somebody out there, you know, at whatever stage of life they're in, because we covered so many things right, And I think it's so amazing that I found out during this episode that you are a therapist and that you're able to provide kind of just I don't know, like a sense that it's
okay to express emotion, whether that's to your friends or you know, in your brotherhood, or just showing up for your family, you know what I mean, Like, you're not just what people probably know you as on the surface, which is like artists and comedian, right, you have the layers. You know, it's important to show that, especially as a man. So yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed this episode and thank you again for coming, thank you for having me. It's amazing.