Hello!
Hey!
Another week on the pod.
Yep.
Hello listeners.
Hello, hello. Hope you're all good. Shall we get started?
Let's do it.
Hi, I'm Hannah.
Hayley.
And we are your wedding planning experts.
Here to spill the tea on the inside of wedding planning and everything that goes with it.
Expect our honest opinions. The real juice on what happens on a wedding day.
With a few tips thrown in between.
And also just a chat between friends.
of course, make sure you hit that subscribe button.
And, let's get you wet! Woo! How are you?
I'm good. I'm good. I'm tired.
Oh,
I'm tired. I'm an
great way to start the pod, I'm tired.
I'm tired. I'm always tired though, to be fair. It's just, uh, just where I am these days. I've just aged a million years.
Yep.
I've been, uh, I've been working in London this week, which has been fun.
Wow!
it's been really
Big city.
Big city life. I actually love working in London to be fair. It's so,
Yeah, me too. Yeah.
So I just
Yeah.
and go. So it's, it's, it's like a
Yeah, it's good for you, yeah, yeah, nice.
good line that goes there. But yeah, we're doing lots of flowers, ready for Valentine's Day, which
Yeah.
this goes out will be tomorrow.
Yeah.
so, so on Friday.
like proper busy, like, flowers everywhere?
I've been making like, I mean, it's like 150, 150 bunches at a time.
Wow.
Obviously, there's not just me. It's me and another two florists working and then they have like us as a florist team. And then there's a team conditioning and a team wrapping.
Right.
So it's actually quite nice. I'm normally used to working in florists at Valentine's Day. Normally, we, uh, we sort of, like, I've had to do all three, so I
Yeah.
make,
doing one bit.
Whereas this
So is it like pre orders or is this just like they're expecting that many to be
like,
bought? Right. Hmm. Right.
an expected amount. on what they did last year and I think Indiflora actually sends you like a document beginning of like when it's coming close to Valentine's Day of what you did and what they sort of forecast for you to do so they'll kind of have an idea so you know because obviously you have to pre order the roses from Columbia. So, they'll know how much to pre order, then when they arrive, and then we just make them up.
But, because they're in like a prime location, whatever they don't sort of send out in the floor, if they don't get them, they'll just sell
They'll be sold. Yeah. Oh, exciting.
cool. Yeah.
Fab. Anything else been going on with your week?
My, other than that, other than
Flourish tree for
flowering, yeah. So I've been chatting with a couple of couples for weddings in the summer.
Nice.
had a few, I suppose it's sort of getting for me now. It's, I'm getting a few more inquiries for the summer. So how'd
it's that time of year.
Yeah. So how'd those come through this week? So just kind of organizing with people when I can go out and meet them and also just taking like deposits and things like that now, ready. So just doing. A lot of meetings and things like that and getting my quotes sent out so they're all done for my customers. yeah,
Nice. Quote time of year. I imagine all our listeners have loads of quotes in their inboxes.
it's getting, it's getting to
It's craziness, isn't it? My inbox is so full of like quotes and stuff. Where it's like, you think when we're managing like so many weddings as well. Like, even if you're doing one wedding though, yourself. You're getting like a few quotes for like each different supplier. There's a lot going on. But this is why I always think, like, one of my couples, bless them, they're quite new with us and they're very, very excited.
And she's like looking at all different things and I'm like trying to reign her in. And I think, you see, I see this a lot where people are like trying to get all their quotes at once. Like they're looking at the caterer, the DJ, the florist, and you're like, Just do one thing at a time because you're gonna get overwhelmed. And that's what I do with my couples, I drip feed it, is what I always say.
get
Yeah, we'll do the caterer first, or we'll do the venue first, then we'll do the catering, then we'll look at, like, your decor ideas and put a mood board together, then we'll look at floristry, do you know what I mean? Like, because otherwise, it's a lot. Especially if people start chasing you as well, like, wow.
It's too
It's a lot of emails.
You get
Yeah.
you, when you first start?
Yeah. Yeah.
and then, actually, it's easier to, like you say, just do one at a time. Get each person to
yeah, 100%. That's why I keep, I'm like, wait until I sort the Kira
Yeah,
you can move on to
down.
everything. Yeah.
How's your week been? Yeah?
was really nice. Yeah. I had Friday to Monday off. So four days, but isn't it crazy? It's like four days, but you feel like you come back to like carnage. I just so much to do, but, um,
is full.
Yeah, yeah, lots and lots of stuff going on. But we're also recruited at the moment. Well, we were recruited and I've just, just hired someone, which is great. So she starts, we're doing a wedding this Saturday and so she'll come to that and then start the week after. So that's good. So that kind of, once she's trained up, we'll ease it off a little bit because I need more admin help.
Help me!
So that's exciting. But yeah, we've got wedding this weekend we're doing a lot of day management but it's at the con this kind of point like two weeks before we start getting involved and sending out the plan to all the suppliers and, you know, finding out, you know, everyone starts questioning things and last minute and yeah, you're like, yeah. But yeah, so yeah, it's gonna, yes, it's a later in the day one. So they're Jewish. But they can't get married.
So if you don't get married on a Sunday, when you're Jewish, you have to get married when the sun sets. So, but for some reason, I'm like, well, the sun sets at like four.
Yeah, it's
He went.
this time of year, isn't it?
Yeah, well, I think it's actually like five, it actually gets dark, but apparently it's like, has to be 6pm But it kind of just makes everything like loads later. So yeah, it's going to be Interesting to fit everything in.
that is sort of a different vibe isn't it? Being later in the day, but it makes it, like you say, everything shorter. But have you done a,
Yeah.
you done a wedding like that before?
Yeah, so we do a lot of weddings like that, where it's like, but not, not because it's Jewish, just because we do a lot of points of interest, so let's, visitors, we have to wait for visitors to leave, but it's just, there's a lot going on with this wedding. So it's just a lot to fit in basically, but yeah, the venue doesn't actually normally do weddings either. It's a really, really cool venue.
It's like under the arches kind of vibe, like quite industrial, like really cool, but I don't think they really do weddings, but they wanted something different, which is great. But when you go to a venue that you want something different, they don't have a Scooby Doo what's going on.
Heh.
They do a lot of events, but not weddings. And I think it's a very different kind of fish when people are like, Oh yeah, we've done weddings. Yeah, but doing a wedding is very different, like, yeah, so,
Yeah,
yeah, it's very interesting. It's going to be an interesting day, it's going to be one of them.
I, I can't wait to hear. So that's this
Yeah, yeah, it is, yeah, so I can tell you all about it afterwards, so, yeah. And then we've just we've got a corporate event in April. So we've just started working alongside them. So we do all like the delegate management stuff. So now all the invites have gone out and for the attendees, we've now taken over to do all that side of things. So yeah, more busy, busy ness.
busy times.
Yeah, it is indeed. Yeah.
that's all over, it's straight into the wedding season,
Literally. Yeah.
so it's been a busy week for both of us then, this
Yeah. Yeah.
we like to say here's, here's the season. But yeah, also been taking like quite a few deposits and things for
Nice. Yeah. Out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like, I feel like
someone the other day wondering when do most people want the final balance paying? So I thought I'd bring it up because it be something that don't know when they're but I know everyone's different It's kind of like individual to that supply.
the final payment is always like, obviously you have to pay a deposit to screw your book in with anybody. That's very normal. But I think that most people are like four to six, maybe eight weeks before. I feel like the least is ever four weeks.
Yeah,
But yeah, like catering and stuff, and we manage that side of things. They normally want like final details like six weeks before. So yeah, that's actually probably a good point as well for like RSVP, because a lot of people are sending invites out now, is I always ask for RSVPs back eight weeks before, because it kind of gives me two weeks segue into like, getting my couples to chase people, because there's always loads of people that haven't replied.
And then for me then like a week or so to then actually send that information to the caterer. But if you know you're going to be busy around that time, again, you probably need to think, Oh, actually, you know, maybe I need to put my RSVP even earlier because maybe you want to give yourself more time to collect the information, like,
that's a
so
Yeah.
final payments, I would say, but normally, so a lot of people have a midway payment. I have a midway payment as well. Yeah. And I think a lot of, you know, like marquee companies do that. Sometimes caterers do, sometimes not. But yeah, it's a bit, bit mixed. But I actually, for my couples, have like a budget planner tracker. So it's like what we want to spend, what we're actually spending, and then like how much they've paid, and like when their payments are due.
So I always think it's a good idea to do something like that, because at least you've got a good idea when your, when your payments are going out.
Because they'll all start cropping up all at the same time,
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah,
coming out and I'm thinking, but you booked the people, you know, like when your final payments are going to be coming out, like you're getting married, like it's going to be a busy time for making payments. Like, come on. And they're suddenly panicking. Yeah. They're suddenly panicking. Like, how am I going to pay this? And it's like, well.
But
a track of it and you'll know. It's like suddenly they go, you know, like when you get your tax bill and everyone, people are like, oh, I'm so shocked. And I'm like, but you know, you're gonna get it
Yeah, you know it's coming.
Yeah. You do know where I made it. And at least with this.
the tax.
Yeah. At least with this, you know, in your contract what your final bill is gonna be. So, yeah. But talk about what we've been seeing. I saw this TikTok video recently. And she was basically talking about, and I think you, it's kind of this time of year, isn't it, that you get all, like, the click baity stuff coming out. And she was talking about, yeah, it's rough, why it's common to lose friends during the wedding planning process.
Which I thought was a very interesting topic, because I see this a lot.
too,
Where it's like, yeah, where it's like, people change, like, It's either that they start with so many bridesmaids, they end up with less, or they end up with more, or just like, there's always some sort of situation. I actually had an email from a couple recently, and it was like, we were talking about the amount of bridal bridesmaids bouquets, and they were like, oh it might be this, but we think it might have changed because of this, and you're like, oh.
with me. I will go back for a
Oh yeah, of course.
one less bridesmaid now.
Yeah.
sort of want to tell me and I'm like, Well, go on then.
Yeah, come on. Spill the beans
not made it. They've not made the cut. Yeah.
so she made like all different points, so, and which I thought were quite interesting. So one of the things is that she was saying that as a bride, she felt like she couldn't lean on people that she thought that she'd be able to.
Okay, that's quite a
which, it is. Yeah.
For whatever reason they end up just not making, they're just not any good. They're just,
Yeah.
nah,
Either that or I think it's sometimes like, what I see is people feeling like they can't talk about their wedding around other people. And I do think, right, I kind of see it from both sides of the coin here. I do think people need to realise that nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do. Like, that is,
oh
that is very normal.
like, yeah, tip
But I, but I would also say like, during my wedding planning, that I did find that people that I thought would be more excited, weren't as excited. Do you know what I mean? Like, you know, you kind of expect people to like be bringing it up and like, there would be people that would ask me like, Oh, how's the planning going? Blah, blah, blah, blah. But then there'd be other people that were like, didn't even mention it.
And then if I did mention it, it's a bit like, Oh, am I just being like, Oh, for God's sake, she talked about her wedding again.
don't mention it because they think perhaps you've got a lot on and they don't want to
Yeah. Yeah. I do think that is another point is like, And also, I was listening to a podcast the other day, and they were saying how they hated it when people were like, How's the wedding planning going? So, it's a bit like, I suppose your friends and family should know what you're like, and whether you'd be happy to talk about it or not. So,
like to think so.
I just think people are very involved in their own world. They've got their own stuff going on. Do you know what I mean? Like, sometimes I forget to like, be like, you know, like our friend's just had a baby and I'll suddenly be like, Oh God, like, is she alright? Like, you know, whereas she's thinking about it all the time. I'm not.
it, you're in it and you're like, it's
Yeah.
isn't it? Like, planning, like, it's all you're thinking about. It's like, woah,
Yeah.
morning and what am I gonna, you know, just sort of excited about it. But
Yeah.
else has their own lives going on.
Yeah, everyone's busy.
yeah, you can't
Yeah. Yeah.
like, Yeah, sometimes it's sad though, isn't it? Especially if you've got close friends or people that you
Mm.
to be, to
Yeah.
sort of maybe don't as much as
Then they don't.
it's a bit of a let down a bit, but,
Yeah she kind of said as well, like, puts relationships into perspective, highlights that there's an unnatural dynamic can cause rifts and dramas that were there all along. Yeah, I think that's a very good point. I mean, I didn't really experience that, but I think there's already, like, a little, like, underlying issues. Yeah, I think that's the only, that's the way it's going to come out.
Because I didn't have any issues with, like, people being like, oh, I'm not wearing that dress, or I'm not, you know, they weren't. They were fussy ish, but
Who isn't?
because they wanted to look really nice and have, like, the best, like, you know, the best for me as well. You know, they didn't want to go out walking down the aisle and not feel good about themselves or whatever. That's, that's talking bridesmaids, but I suppose, yeah, I suppose she's talking about friends overall.
But she also says about like, progressing in different stages of life, being a bit, people being a bit jealous maybe which I just don't understand, because I would just never be, I just think I'm not in that kind of friendship group where we've ever been, like, jealous of each other, like, yeah, we're just happy for them.
my cousins my sister in law and a close friend as a bridesmaids. But none of them
about others? So I think she's talking about friends in general, not just your bridesmaids, but was Would you have felt that from any other like, I mean, most of my, we only had like a few friends at our wedding and I wouldn't say, like, my closest friends were my bridesmaids, so,
Yeah, that's
yeah.
Just in general I would say probably not, but. I feel like we've actually with family probably had a few
Yeah.
I guess, but Yeah, that was again. It was it was so true because it was like Tensions that were already there
Yeah.
And I think it all comes out doesn't it like we're
Yeah, 100%. I think if it's,
or whatever when they come and I think some of it does like brew from jealousy 100 like
Yeah. Yeah. And she also just said about, like, lack of interest, conflict of opinion about dresses, dress codes for guests. Which I just couldn't imagine ever being, like, a guest at a wedding and, like, questioning your dress code. Like, nobody said anything to me about
I'm not wearing this one. I
Yeah.
once where it was Tudor themed.
Oh,
And
wow.
that, I'm not gonna
Yeah, I would. I'd be like, what the hell am I gonna wear? But I would question that, not to them.
No, I would just
I'd maybe say about their wedding.
with no questions asked.
I think I see a lot as well about like hempies. Like I've literally seen this again recently where it's like the bride's written an anonymous post in a group like, Oh, like we'd planned the hen do. I've already booked it. And now one of the bridesmaids or one of my friends is saying like, you know, she can't afford it. Why are we not doing? Something closer to home, and I feel like Hendoo is a big cause of fallout.
my god, I had, I had, I don't think I've ever spoke about it on here, which is
Oh.
But,
Yeah?
There was issues with my hen.
Really?
I had two, I had one with a friend, well it wasn't meant to, it wasn't meant to
Yeah.
one.
Right.
my mum was involved as well.
Hmm.
She wanted to help plan something, which bless her,
Yeah.
loves things like that, so. and one of my friends was also sort of like heading up, like being in, like she was kind of taking charge of it.
Yeah.
It's very much what she's like, she's very good at planning and things like that, so I was like happy for that. and my mum just couldn't agree
Really?
I think
No.
Basically, my mum was going for a completely different vibe.
Well, yeah. Yeah. Do you know what, that kind of, I wasn't going to say when you were talking about that. Mums at hen do's. Not for me. I didn't have my mum at my hen do's because me, Hannah Raz, in front of my mum is probably very different to Hannah in front of, like, there's certain things that I'm not going to talk about or do in front of my mum.
point
And I, And it's quite interesting because when I was planning my hen do I was a bit like, and I had a few conversations with brides I was working with at the time and they were, all of them were like, absolutely not having my mum at my hen do. So it's interesting you say that because yeah, I would agree that if you're having a mum plan something and a friend, my friend planning something and my mum planning something is going to be two completely different things.
And I think,
Mum's like afternoon tea spa day vibe, I would say.
yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
and then we went to Bistro Live, which is I don't know if you've ever been. Have you been to Bistro Live?
No, I actually haven't.
basically you like end up dancing on the table and stuff so, and, and, it's quite funny, it's good, it's like
Yeah.
of hen parties go there, it's like a massive room full of banquet and tables and everyone just has like a pre made meal thing,
Yeah.
yeah, cheap and
Yeah.
But we did, yeah, my mum wanted to do like, afternoon tea, spa day and then that.
Yeah. Yeah.
we like went and did like a bottomless brunch thing
Yeah.
it was just completely different and like my mum and that they didn't really want to go travel
Yeah,
local with my mum and then but they were they were just like biting heads about what would work because
what is going on?
an afternoon tea
Yeah, it's not, it's not the vibe you want, is it?
calling me like, upset because my friend
Oh no, what? It's just not what you want.
down, like, look, we're not haters on one and afternoon tea, she told me.
Yeah, that's good that she did that though, because I would feel like, as a friend, that would be quite hard to go against a mum. But I think this is why in America, they have a bachelorette party, and then they have a bridal shower. So the bridal shower is almost like, You know, that afternoon tea vibe, people go, it's nice, it's in the daytime, you know, they get presents as well, like, great idea.
So
And then,
much My mum loves to go out and have a good time. Like, don't get me
yeah.
quite like, young for her age, I don't know, she's not
Yeah. It's just whether you wanna be
think it was a whole travel thing, and like you say, it was just like completely different.
Yeah, it's different.
their lives and stuff
Yeah.
because I loved what I did with my mum and I loved with my
Yeah.
like some people they gave a choice then so like some of my family went to that and I did mainly with family and a couple of Friends that couldn't make it to my other hen.
Hmm.
friends. We did like London and went out and did whatever so
Yeah, I think that's the best way. Cause also, I just think like, like in my Hindu, everyone was in their thirties. And I'm like,
Yeah
like my mum on the right. I think it's alright if you've got like mums, nans, aunties, cousins going at a similar age. Yeah, but when you're all, it's all your friends, then plus your mum, nah, that's not for me. But I think it's a good point to raise because I wonder how many people are sitting there and haven't thought about it. And like, it can, like you say, it can cause conflicts because if you just don't invite them, like my mum didn't seem too, too fussed.
But if you don't invite them, it's a bit like, are they gonna, like, if you didn't invite your mum by the sounds of it, she'd be pretty peed because she wanted to plan it. So, which is actually should be a friend because it's, well, it should be a maid of honour, but that does it. So, yeah, it's a tricky one.
Also, the one that she's put here, which is so true, wanting to bring a plus one or children to a child free wedding or to a wedding where you're not having plus ones, that causes a lot of, yeah, it's always going to cause grief. Always.
Totally, totally is. I think, it's gotta be the kid thing, hasn't it? It's gotta be, it's gotta be like, up there, number one
It's gotta be.
friends.
fall out. Yeah.
So like Say you had a really close friend who's got children, but you're having a child free wedding Would you have them if you said no kids? then you
As in.
like oh, well if they can come other
Oh, no, I wouldn't have the kids at No, no, no. But, I would think that they would be okay with that. As my friend.
Yeah. Well, exactly. Yeah, they should
Yeah.
understand Yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,
it
but I've seen situations lately where it's like Do you know what I saw? It's so interesting when you're like listening to podcasts and people write in from like the guest perspective. I love it. Or like see stuff posted from like, you know, like on threads or Instagram or whatever. And it pops up like, oh, guest wars kind of thing. Yeah. But it's like, from their point of view, I saw one recently where it was the couple were having their wedding abroad.
They wanted both the couple to go, but it was no cake. And they were a bit like, well, we're not going to leave, come abroad and leave the kid in the UK, which I never kind of get as a guest because I suppose they have parents back here, but I suppose everyone's different. Maybe they don't have them parents to leave kids with or whatever.
But the only other thing I do think you can do is, you know, I suppose that I think they kind of responded to say you could take the child with you as a holiday. And then when you're at the wedding. You know, leave it with like a nanny for a few hours or something like you can normally hire them for the hotel or whatever.
Can't you, or, you know, kind of swap sees about a little bit, you know, one of you goes to the ceremony, then maybe you leave it with the nanny to go both go to the sit down meal. Then when you go back for the something along those lines, because actually on the day, the couple, aren't even going to notice that whether you're about or not, unless they've only got like 10 people,
They
there's a lot of people there, they're not going to be thinking, where's that one person?
tabs on you, are they? Yeah.
Yeah, no, literally, like, one of my friends popped home to like, see the baby and I didn't even, I think, I remember her saying beforehand, but I don't know if she actually did or not, I can't remember, but yeah, I, I, I think kids is, kids is a big one and I think it is awkward, but the, the biggest thing was, I, I was shocked by that post was, the couple were fine, they were like, cause they basically said, look, one of us can only come to the wedding and they were fine about it, but they
were like, Yeah. Am I the arsehole for only letting one of us go, or are they the arsehole because they're not allowing children? And the amount of people that were commenting, like, on this Instagram post, like, they're the arseholes for not allowing kids. And I was like, what? No, they're not. It's their freaking
choice.
Yeah.
it's your opinion. You
Yeah.
entitled to their own They're paying
Exactly. Yeah.
You're a
Yeah.
their day! And if they've
Yes.
not to have kids, then That's
I feel like this is becoming a bigger and bigger issue, as, like, we were talking last week, weren't we, about average age. Average age now, 34. I feel like this is getting a bigger and bigger issue, about the kids thing. About
Totally.
people falling out because they're getting angry because they can't take the kids, or, and I'll always stick by the thing that I always maintain, the couple should be able to do what they want for their, because it's their day, but, they cannot get arsey if people then can't, like if you just said to me, no, I can't come to the wedding, I've got a baby, fine, cool.
You'd accept
I can't be that angry with you for that.
to accept that some people won't either be able to get, perhaps they don't have access to childcare, or
Yeah. Yeah.
leave their
Yeah. Yeah.
got like a dog or a cat, And you're not able to get. I mean, it's the same sort of thing, isn't it? Like, if you've got a, you
Same thing.
so,
Here's the parent comparing animals to babies. Normally I get told off for doing that. Yeah, he's just like my cat, isn't it?
It's a commitment at the end
Yeah.
And I
Yeah.
like, if you, you're asking someone to come to a full day of something, sometimes it's not, you have to accept as the bride or groom that perhaps someone's gonna have to, like, not be as
Yeah.
because of their responsibilities.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. I think as well when it kind of causes rifts is what would annoy me is like, say for example, say you said to me now, I can't come because I've got a baby, but I'd be like, but when you go to work you have, you have access to childcare. Do you know what I mean? I get that when that would, that would annoy me if,
Yeah, because that's
yeah.
isn't it?
Like, oh it's alright, it'll be like me saying, sorry I can't come to your hen do overnight because I've got a cat, even though I go away and leave my cat. You'd be like,
does
sorry?
Yeah, then in that case you have
It's clearly an excuse. Yeah. Do you think people love to use like, kids and stuff as excuses as well? This is the best excuse.
cancel.
Woah, here she is.
Next time I say to you, sorry, I can't
Can't come. Oh, Lily's not well. Oh, we've just talked it up. Don't, don't say that. But yeah, it is sad. I think it is sad. I think it's so sad how many people do lose friendships and stuff. Thankfully I didn't have that situation throughout my planning process so I can't comment, but yeah, I think I see it a lot. And, and, I just, I don't know. I just don't think it should be a thing.
I feel like that this girl has hit the nail on the head in that it's, there's probably already a situation there. Yeah.
has like been the catalyst that's just
Literally. You're not just falling out over a wedding.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. So
But,
interesting one. Interesting one.
enjoyed that, that video, but I think also, I saw something quite interesting someone had put an opinion on online, basically saying that they kept their friends completely out of their wedding planning process. So
Yeah. I mean, I kind of did keep everyone out of my plan of process.
it. And did you have any drama with your
No.
No. So,
People just like, they just, yeah, kind of went with what
the flow. Go with the
Yeah, and if I asked their opinion, they'd say what they thought, but I didn't really ask for people's opinion. I think that's the thing as well, is people sometimes get annoyed, like, I'll give them their opinion, and I'll be like, well, don't, don't ask for it then. I don't know if it helped because of my job, that people wouldn't be like,
quit.
Don't think you should do that. Do you know what I mean?
yeah, yeah. I,
Yeah, but I
don't remember really getting anyone involved either friends wise with my planning process to be, other than, other than the bridesmaids dresses, right?
Yeah.
I'm talking about friends and being bridesmaids, whatever, and family, but I, I had them involved with that and that was a bit of a, to start with, was a bit, you know, like
Bit of a meh. But then I think that depends how strict you are, right? So I got a photo, I'll an album back yesterday of a wedding we did last year. And they had their bridesmaids in completely different dresses. Like, I mean, like, They were high street dresses, like some would be floral, some would be lacy, some would be, like, they were all completely different. Different colours, they were all different pastel colours, and they looked so nice in the pictures.
It did look like they were, like, guests almost, but they still, like, they had their little bouquets, so that's what made them, you know, stand out. Do they really need to stand out much more than being guests? not necessarily. But I think if you're being strict, like I was strict on color, like I wanted certain colors, but I didn't care what style. So I was like, just go get a dress in that color. And they kind of sorted it out themselves. And I didn't really care.
I was like, as long as you feel comfortable. But I think if you're the kind of person that's strict and want everybody to look the same in the same dress, same color, you, you are, it's going to, it's going to cause you more act.
So I think if you're listening now and you're newly engaged and you're sorting your bridesmaids dresses, just be a bit more chill on it because Even with the colors with mine, I was like having a panic because my two of my bridesmaids that were in the dark green, they wanted to get them from different shops. And I was like, Oh my God, what if the dark green doesn't match? And then I was like getting swatches.
I was going to the shops like trying to put these and I was like, Oh no, they're a slightly different shade on the day. And in the photos, you literally wouldn't even know this. And I was like worrying about it. And actually, even if you did, it was still going to look nice. But
but
I just think you've got to not worry about it.
It's just a thing that happens to you when you're a
Yeah.
you know,
Yeah.
You just, these things take over your life.
But I'm loving this trend of like completely different dresses. Like,
it.
nice. Do it.
it, to be fair. Yeah,
you can have the better. We've said this before, but they're expensive for a dress. You're talking 150 quid with your, especially with alterations and stuff as well. The cheapest you're getting them really nowadays is like 110.
money,
You know. Yeah. I had six bridesmaids. Like, that adds up.
of
Plus hair and makeup. I reckon I spent two grand on bridesmaids.
I wouldn't be
That's a lot of money.
yeah.
makeup, dresses, bits and bobs. But yeah, I do think it's, I think it's sad if you know, I think, I think we need to look at it from, I think sometimes, you're right, people change, and I think, yeah, it's sad if friends can't support you, but at the same time, are they not supporting you, or are you just thinking, are you just constantly thinking about your wedding and thinking they are, but they're not, they have their own lives as well.
I think it's taking, don't take it too seriously isn't it? I think, like you say, I think the main tip here is that, like you said, nobody about your wedding more than you do.
Yeah.
think it's sort of, you can't really force that on people.
No
I think they're going to kind of be as supportive as they can. But if, sometimes when you're planning a wedding and you're in that zone, I feel like you can get a little bit like, sensitive to things.
exactly. And I think unless they're being an outright arsehole to you, like, your wedding is shit, then, yeah.
that's wrong. And I think just surround, I mean if you can do, if you've got a good group of friends, just surround yourself with people that are positive. They don't necessarily have to do a load for you, but
Don't you got time for that?
and, you know, it's all good.
Shall we go on to listeners questions and messages?
Yes! Woo!
it took me long enough to remember my question. Then listening to your podcast, I'm making my way through all of them. Woohoo! Don't forget guys, we've got like, what is it, like 64 or 5 episodes now? Yeah, listen back. Woo! You briefly mentioned speeches and the traditions. Lightbulb, I remembered my question! Yay!
done!
Speeches before or after the meal would love your thoughts on how this works within the day, which works best or works within the transitions of the day too. Does it kill the vibe, not even sure which is the traditional way. Any help would be much appreciated. So I, from a catering background, would always say speeches after the meal because it screws up your catering times if they're before.
And I cannot tell you the amount of couples that say to me, No, they're going to be really short the speeches, and then they're not. And then you're trying to run into the chef like, Oh, is there a delay?
What I would say, when it does work okay, is if you've got a cold starter, if you want to do them before the meal, But don't do them before your main course because if you're having like a hot main course And then your dad says he's gonna be three minutes and ends up being ten I've actually once seen a dad talk for a whole 45 minutes. I kid you not. Yeah. Yeah
God.
the other thing I would say though as a tip is to give people a time limit is say look it needs to be a maximum three minutes Five minutes absolute max like five minutes is a more than enough time You
Yeah.
But a lot of people are wanting them between the, between the, between the courses and stuff nowadays. So, I always tend to advise my couples, having one at the end of the drinks reception actually works quite well. So you can have like your group photo, all your guests, bride, for example, can step forward, do a speech, like while everyone's just standing, which is quite nice.
That's
And then once you then sit down, if then the groom wants to get up and do his speech, then you have your starter, then you have your main, then after your main just before dessert do another speech and then maybe one after dessert if you're going to do that many. But the other thing we're doing before the meal is everyone's just hungry.
People are not in the mood. They're just like,
No,
I've
they don't want to listen.
I need some food.
Yeah, like people are only listening. I think after the, before dessert or during dessert is quite a nice one because people are a bit like, you know, the full, gives you a bit of a gap before dessert is quite nice. The other thing, the only thing I'd say though about, if, say you serve dessert, then do speeches, people will not eat their dessert until you're finished. People don't eat while people are talking, like, they just don't.
They sit there and they're looking at it like, should we be eating, should we not?
Yeah.
serve your dessert, eat dessert, then go into speeches while people are like, halfway through, like once they're all served. Or, like, You know, serve it all, give people ten minutes, then go into your speeches, or eat your main, clear it, do your speeches, serve your dessert. I think that works quite well, give people a little break, you
idea.
know, from all the food.
I
Anything to add onto that?
did all of our speeches before food. After food.
Did you?
after food. All one of
I was gonna say. What I will say is in America it's very normal to do the speeches before the meal. Well they normally, they do a lot of their speeches normally in the rehearsal dinner and then they'll do a couple on the day before the meal so I, we work with a lot of American couples and they kind of want that but really logistically after the meal is your best way or before, between main and dessert is what I would say.
I agree. Okay. Heh,
your thoughts on kids at weddings, we've got a few. Cater inside which I know you have lots of experience in. Which age should I be putting down for a meal with little ones and space at tables? Got the memo of no high chairs before the nice room shot. Thank you. No worries.
you're
Should I even have a chair for them at the ceremony or speak with parents for them on knees? Well you're probably better at that for on knees and high chairs. I don't really know age wise on knees. Like,
I don't think, I think,
like if you had Lily now at a wedding you wouldn't need a chair for her would you? For the ceremony.
ceremony, no. Is
And you'd need a high chair for her during dinner, wouldn't you?
yeah, she'd need a high chair.
And I would say, what age do they sit in a high chair up till, like, two?
that's the thing. I think if you've got any baby that's six months onwards,
High chair. But then, would you want the wedding food? Would you not bring your own? Like, a lot of, I tend to find most people say, like, under two, three, parents bring their own food.
totally. Like, I wouldn't expect them to feed Lily.
Yeah, because you kind of have their own.
Yeah, and they also eat at what different times?
Yeah, true.
like especially when they're under like you say like under two
Yeah.
Maybe two upwards they probably would have a small meal
Yeah.
version But like if it say if I was taking Lily to a wedding I wouldn't expect them to cater for her expect them to have a high chair for her
Yeah.
But like the meal but food wise I would just bring it because they they're like might not eat at that time like you know some
No, yeah, true.
so
old routine. Yeah, so I would say in terms of food, so you could put I've actually done this on my couples recently. So generally, from my catering days, children are up to the age of 12. Right, so normally 12 and under have the kids bill, and normally that's something like chicken nuggets and chips, sausage and mash, pizza, something along those lines.
But like, one of my couples recently was like, hmm, but we've got a couple of like 10 11 year olds that would probably eat like, the chicken main or whatever they're having. So, you can actually say on your website like, child specific meal, or, so I did for them, kids meal, in brackets, pizza, and then I did kids meal, in brackets, smaller version of the adults meal.
okay
they then can have the choice of what you're having. It still makes it, it's still a set menu. Because everybody's still having the same, but the kids are just like split on what, you know, and most people are probably going to go for like the kids past, like kids pastas always a good one because that kind of caters for a three year old and a 12 year old, but maybe a 12 year old's not eating chicken nuggets and chips. So it's a bit,
a good point, yeah, because they might be a little fussy, but
yeah,
because they might not want, if you're having something fancy, I don't know, some
yeah.
something fish
Cock a van. I don't know why I said that. No one's had cock a van since the 80s, but. Yeah, but also you have those kids that are like 15 and will only eat chicken nuggets and chips. They're not eating the, I don't know, chicken in bleh de bleh sauce. Coq au vin. Where did that even come from? I've never even eaten coq au vin.
Yeah, so again, you could ask the question, this is where websites, wedding websites are amazing, I would ask the question, you also, if you've got like one 15 year old coming, you can probably ask the parent and just say, look, are they, you probably know them as well to know, yeah, they're gonna eat our food or they're not, you know?
exactly.
but I would say, yeah, I would say kind of ask a question you don't, but yeah, kids meals are generally are under 12, but when I caterers that I've worked with before will generally say like they can, so your 15 year old does have chicken nuggets and chips, you're probably still going to have to pay a similar price to an adult's meal because they're doing it. I don't know. They might not. Yeah. It depends what they're having.
my wedding, because my cousin would have been 13 at the time, one of them would have been 13 and 14.
Yeah.
And they, they, I didn't even think about it. Honestly, I just did them as an adult's meal, didn't
Did them as an adult's meal. Yeah.
think.
Yeah.
yeah.
I kind of wouldn't overthink it too much, don't worry, like, I'm sure they'll eat something.
Yeah.
think as well, I always say this about weddings when people worry about having a set menu, is sometimes when you put something in front of someone and they feel like they've got to eat it they're actually like, oh this is really good.
Yeah. This is
I've been in situations like that before because I can be fussy, yeah, I'm like, oh actually I do quite like this but I wouldn't have eaten it because I would never have ordered it or never cooked it for myself.
true.
So yeah, to answer your question I'd say For little ones, normally under 12 is a kid's meal, I wouldn't worry about 2 and unders, I'd say 3 and up, give them a kid's meal. But ask on your wedding website if they, you know, for maybe kids that are between like 10 and 16,
Yeah.
what they're going to be having.
And I mean only a small amount of kids you've got coming and you know, obviously, you could always just contact the parent and just be like, look, are
yeah, exactly, yeah,
bringing food for them? Like, it would take
yeah,
a
yeah, just ask those people. In terms of chairs, yes you need a space for them at the table because unless they're literally like baby in arms, maybe going to be in a push chair,
Yeah.
high chairs take up a lot of room. So yeah, put a place for them, put a chair there, so for example, so I was having Lily, I'd have a space for her, little place card, Lily, set exactly the same as the adults place setting, but then I would have a chair there and then just before, that when people are then physically coming into the room, you'd then swap out for the high chair.
Yeah.
That's what I tend to do at weddings. Obviously you don't need all the cutlery. For kids cutlery you normally just have one knife, one fork spoon for their dessert. And then one, like, a water glass instead of the wine glasses. Although sometimes couples ask for, like, a wine glass as their water. Like, you know, if they're like 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, it's quite nice for them to put their juice in their wine glass. So, yeah. They are a 2026 summer bride. Exciting, just over a year to go.
Keep your questions coming in. Hope that helped and answered. Yeah, but yeah, keep your questions coming in guys. You can know where to find us. We're at let's get your web podcast on Instagram, tick talk, and you can email us, let's get you where to podcast at gmail. com. Yeah. Send any questions you have by the assholes, anything you're worried about, anything you're not sure about and make sure you leave us a review as well.
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