Venues, Vicars and Very handy tips!

Hello, hello. Woohoo!

of Let's Get You Wed, the wedding planning podcast.

Another Thursday.

Yes, we're here again, in your ears, coming in

I think it'll actually be March as well when this goes out. Like, how is, when, at the time of recording, it's March in a couple of days. Like, how has that happened?

and it's a leap year as well, isn't it? Only 29 days in February, but I don't know about

Yes!

it's felt long. This month has felt long to

Oh no, I feel like it's gone so quick.

This

This year's flown by.

longer than January.

It's because you've got a baby. You're not sleeping.

true. The

You, like, I haven't, I can't remember the last time I went to bed.

What a sleep.

Yeah, that's why. Oh, and it's officially three months today until we get married.

my

Well, actually, no, less than three months till we legally get married, but three months until the big wedding day today.

big

is scary. That is frickin scary.

when you think about how long you've like, engaged and been like planning it

I know!

And all of a sudden

Yeah,

it's here!

boom it's here. Yeah, when we were talking before, like when we booked our venue and it was like just over a year to go And you're like, oh it's ages away. And I remember in like October, November be like, it's just so long away I just want it to be here and now I'm like,

And it's

ah

down and all of a sudden it creeps up on you and you're like, woah,

Yeah,

it's

yeah, should we get started?

Let's do it!

Hi, I'm Hannah

And I'm Hayley,

and we are your wedding planning experts

here to spill the tea on the inside of wedding planning and everything that goes with it.

Expect our honest opinions, the real juice on what happens on a wedding day

a few tips thrown in between.

and also just a chat between friends

And of course, make sure you hit that subscribe button.

And let's get you

you

wet! Woo! Exciting!

So

How have you been?

how have I been? ask you

Ha! How

time,

you been? Oh! She Ha! Ha! You go on in there. Your life's more exciting than mine right now. Ha! Ha!

Oh no, I'm good. I'm good. I actually have some wedding chat this this week.

Wow!

have been speaking with a couple of our wedding and

Nice.

For the end of summer. So that's exciting. And it was, it was a refreshing conversation to have about flowers and not

I bet. Yeah, lovely. Not people going on to you about babies. Yeah, lovely.

that I came out of the mouth was not how much sleep are you getting?

You actually look so good though.

Thanks,

you don't look tired.

maybe it's like this

Like, you, I feel like you're carrying motherhood quite well.

I feel like I looked so rough when I was pregnant that life has done me justice since giving birth. It's like, wow, you looked so bad. Like, I remember people saying about like the pregnancy glow and I was like, look, I have no glow. If anything, I have literally got the glow of someone who's getting out of their coffin. Literally, it

No, you look fine. You just look swollen. You had the pregnancy swells.

Do you know what? Right, my lips, right, they swelled up so bad. I literally looked like I'd had a lip job. Now they've gone back and I'm like, wow, I could do with some

my lips. Yeah, fair play.

but anyway, about

Oh, well, that's good.

if you can hear drilling, my, I am, I do live in a terraced house and the neighbors are drilling into the walls. So sorry about that.

Fun. Bet you're loving that with a newborn baby.

I'm like, thanks.

Yeah.

Yeah, so yeah, speaking to a couple about a wedding that's at the end of summer and it's a venue that I work at quite a lot, which is nice as well. So I get recommended there quite a lot and people will see on my

Nice.

work there. So,

Yeah.

they're they're toying with the idea of having like a really big archway at the entrance. So like a

Nice. What venue is it?

it's Notley Abbey.

Ah, no. Oh, yeah, I like it there.

Oxford Way. It's really nice. Yeah, really nice

So they get married there.

so their whole, their

Okay, nice. So yeah, they could have the arch all day, couldn't they?

yeah, so

Because I always think when you have an, if you're going out for, all out for one of those, for the arch, and paying out the money for it, Like, you know, quite a lot of my couples will have them when they're at the church, but then it's like, okay, let's have it at the church, but make sure you've got somewhere to move it to, because sometimes they'll like, have a church, then go to a marquee, and it's a bit like, where are you going to put an arch at a marquee?

this is when, when that, in that predicament, what I normally offer is I do like a floral column. So like two freestanding pillars,

nice. Yeah.

they're They're weighed down with some heavy weights full of flowers. So if you imagine just like a linear structure, it's like full of flower and it kind of curves over us. It will follow the shape of your doorway at the church, or if you're having separate venue to where your reception is, and then

Yeah.

come after your ceremony. As you've seen me hide in a bush, wait till your ceremony is finished. Then I creep round with my help and we put them in the van and then take them and we set them up either behind your top table entrance

Yeah. Nice.

Where your wedding breakfast is going to be or. You know, they can be moved, but

Yeah,

one will be a won't be able to be moved. So it'll be a structure that we make in situ, like outside the door. So

then it'll be there all day, which is great, isn't it?

they

Yeah.

so they have obviously like photos of everybody guests

Photos, evening guests arriving. Yeah. So you, they'll make use of it.

so it'll

Yeah. It's when it's just the church that you don't really make map 'cause you don't do all your photos there. Do you normally go to your venue and do the rest of your photos? So

so

nice, exciting.

I do enjoy doing an archway. So I

You do like a good archway. And the asymmetrical, is that still all in? Is that what people are asking for?

so there's a lot of like, do you know what it is? It's a lot of time people have seen it on Pinterest whether you have like the asymmetrical style So it kind of lends itself to that natural kind of

Mm hmm.

I quite like it It's like a deconstructed arch basically But you

Yeah.

with like a big full, like full all over arch. Like I just

All over arch. They're a lot more difficult to do though, aren't they?

Yeah. It's so if your venue hasn't got somewhere where we can attach to, so, so if you imagine like the top of like a doorway and it's got like a stone

Yeah.

or something like that, sometimes they'll have like nails and things that we can kind of attach to. But if

Oh, okay.

and you

It's difficult.

have to actually make. a framework.

Right.

you know, we can't literally hang it in midair.

No. Yeah.

like a, like an archway, it's something you need to consider. Has my church or my venue got something to, for my florist to attach to? Are you

Yeah.

the venue listed? Because

Yeah,

like that, like I say, we can bring the pillars and we can make like a deconstructed kind of arch and

Yeah, nice.

something for you. Otherwise,

I think it's so important, isn't it, to, like, get your florist to go and have a look, though, because, like, we did that, we had a couple that we wrote with last year, absolutely lovely, but they wanted these, like, clouds hanging from the top of almost,

Oh,

like the top of teepee hats, weren't they? It was like a cover. Like a cover over a terrace, but they were, they were pointed tops. but there was literally like nowhere to hang them from. But obviously in their head, like, they're not going to think about things. and then you look at it and you're like, yeah, where am I going to hang that from? And how is it going to hang? Because there's a post in the way, like,

exactly. And

it's definitely important to look at.

even in the best,

Yeah,

even with the best will in the world, if I wanted to do it for you, like, if I can't like physically do it for you, I have

no.

it's not going to happen.

If it's not going to look right. But I think, I think always get that advice before you get your heart set on it. Because she had her heart set on these clouds, didn't she? And it was just not possible at all.

no,

obviously you still created her an amazing cloud. But yeah. We thought of an alternative.

We did. That's the thing. We'll always come up with an alternative for you. You know, like a plan B always, you know, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

but

Nice.

was my week. That's

Lovely.

week and wedding week.

Your wedding week around babying.

And how was your

Nice.

How have you been?

Yeah, it's good. It's definitely been quieter this week for meetings because it's half term. So I was fine, like, even though my couples don't really have kids, like suppliers and stuff kind of avoid this week. So I got stuck with a lot of boring admin, you know that's what I've been focusing on. Yeah, you know. All the boring backend accounts bits and, you know, all those kind of things. I've been booking some site visits as well. So it's really important for us.

quite

know the place. Yeah. Whereas if I've been there, I'm like, yeah, I know what you're talking about, you know? And also it's so important because especially with our on the day service. The idea is that you hire us as an event management team, so you've already planned, you're planning your own wedding, we're not involved in the planning, we're just managing it. So, we do tend to find, from the site visit, there's a lot of things that people haven't thought about.

they're like oversights

Yeah, but become huge. Like if you haven't got access to water for your toilets, like if the flush runs out, you can't flush your toilets, you know, and that's quite a big thing. You don't really want unflushed toilets at your wedding. So yeah, I think they're really important. So yeah, we've been getting those booked in. I've got a wedding fair this week, I will say, wedding fair, open evening, at the Bodleian Libraries in Oxford, where we're a recommended planner.

Yeah.

one of my favorite venues, love it. So yeah, looking forward to that.

miss doing a wedding fair, you know, haven't done one in a while I think it was this time last year. I did a little wedding fair the last time.

Yeah, see, I don't really do them. I'm not a fan. I'm not gonna lie.

No. Oh, no fair Well for me, it's like

But

my work, you see, so it's a bit

yeah, it's good for you. For me, it's like, and also

piece

people, it depends, it's different, it's different for like the Bodleian, for example, because it's the kind of venue you need to have a coordinator on site, on the day. So a lot of the people that come in are looking for that kind of service. So that's great for us. And also it's really different to like a wedding fair. They All the suppliers are only allowed a poser table and they basically tell you to not bring stuff.

must be difficult for someone like if you're a florist going there how you would obviously you'd have your portfolio but I mean at

Yeah,

ways I guess like you You're not like, I know if I do like a wedding fair and you've got like another florist there and you kind of look at everyone's work, like someone's gone way out and they've spent like loads of money in their stand,

yeah.

and yours like, you might have not decided to perhaps

Yeah, it's always a bit worrying, isn't it? Yeah.

of puts everyone on an even playing field in some

Exactly, it's great. And also,

quite

well, they have tables set up in the room, so I think the florist does some bits on there, but because it's all rec all their recommended suppliers, there's only really like a couple of each. Anyway, I think there might even only be one florist. So she'll do like the centerpieces on the tables so she can still show her work off.

Oh,

Yeah, so it's more like a set up. The room is set up and then it's just pose the tables dotted about and then, you know, we're all there to have a chat. So yeah, it's quite nice.

Oh,

I like it.

it goes well. Hope you get a lot of inquiries

Thank you so much. Thank you. Yeah, and so this year this year, this weekend, we had our first wedding of the year.

exciting

it was very exciting. It was a really nice day. They sent me a lovely message yesterday to say thank you, which, that's why we do it, isn't it?

Yeah,

end of the day. We do it for the thanks.

Exactly.

Literally. So, obviously we talked about it in the like, the last, the last episode or maybe the one before that. We were talking about, obviously, the service of the food. So I thought I'd give you the lowdown on how it went.

can we just keep talking about food in every episode now? We're recording. This is the

Yeah,

eaten dinner yet

yeah, same. Starving. She's gonna get hangry!

And you've been for

Honestly,

excuse. I just can't stop

yeah, I have been for a run so I got a red nose. It went, it went a lot better than it would have done if we'd have kept it how it was. It still took us a lot, it took us longer than I envisaged initially. I think just because of like, their time. Of being able to get it out of the ovens, essentially, because they have a pizza van.

yeah, yeah,

Yeah. So they could do three pizzas at a time, and to be fair, they had a really good system going. They'd already, like, part cooked them, so they were just almost, like, warming them through. But we were still kind of waiting around to take Pizza. I just don't, I just don't know for that many people. I mean, the guests loved it and they were all happy. Like, nobody was like, oh, when are we getting our food? When, you know, they all got served quick and then we were just topping up.

yeah

but, so I don't think people, and to be honest, they were a really good crowd. They were all, there was 150 people and they were all just chatting away. They were all having a great, they had a great day. All of them. So I think we had a good bunch of people, so no one really noticed. But for me, it was like, I was constantly trying to like, Keep up time wise, you know, Oh, we need to get this speech going. We need to get this going.

of venue was it like what was it a house or a

No, it's called, it's called the Ecology Pavilion. In London, so it's almost like a big I don't want to call it a warehouse it's like it's got full glass windows floor to ceiling all along the front and it's just like One big, like, warehouse y kind of space, I suppose you could describe it. Yeah, it's all about, like you know, they're all about the environment, and, you know, everything's recycled. And it's so cool, because you can walk onto the roof. All the roof is, like, grassed.

I'm

then you go up there to do your photos. It's so cool.

amazing.

it's nice. It's really, like, vibey, quite industrial. Like, you can see the pipes and stuff in the ceiling. But yeah, really nice. But it's just one space. So yeah, so we set up the

It's

Wedding breakfast. It's nice, isn't it?

Yeah.

then we had to clear a space. So I kept a space ready for the band to set up. But that's the biggest kind of space I could do. But obviously you've got 150 people. So at the end of the meal, before I could do the first dance, we had to strip away six tables minimum to be able to get everybody on to do the first dance. So we did that. Then, as they were doing the first dance, we were then stripping, while everyone was concentrating on that, we were then stripping back more tables.

trying to like keep it

yeah, yeah, I did, I did that day.

day.

I didn't stop. I swear, Hayley, it was hard.

Proper

And do you know what? It we didn't, we didn't stop. Me and Chloe, and we had another girl come in, Stevie in the afternoon for a couple hours. We didn't stop all day. So yeah, but what is really nice is when the couple text me the next day, they were like, all we wanted was an informal, fun party, everyone to have a bit of food, everyone to have a nice drink. And that's what we got. And I'm so glad that they got what they wanted because

that's

What they didn't see was how much hard like, for us, that wasn't any it was a

into

paper, that was an easy wedding, yeah? Because they wanted a pizza van, they wanted everyone to get pissed up, basically, and dance to the band. But for us, it was real hard work.

like

And I just always think, me and Chloe, we were talking at the night, and we were like, What would they have done if they didn't hire us? Do you know what I mean? And I

obviously I was speaking last Couple episodes back or like obviously I've been to weddings where they haven't had corn nose.

Yeah.

that's can be normal I'm not saying there's no,

Yeah.

you know, no shade against with their own, but I just think to myself,

Oh, there's all the shade against people who don't

how, how is this day running? You know what I mean? Otherwise you put in, like, they would have so much stress. They would not have had the day

Yeah.

had you have not been there or they had had that, you know, that guidance. I mean, it would have, like you say,

it's very true.

I mean, there's three of you and you're all like running around getting it

honestly, it was a lot.

it and like,

And I was speaking to the guy at the venue at the end. So the venue managers there are purely key holders. They won't even move a box. Like at one point he was like, there's a box in front of the far ex. And we were like, can you just move it there? 'cause we are like in the middle of rolling tables around. He was like, no, we can't, we can't move anything. I'm like, okay.

a

Yeah, one of them.

Oh

So. I said to I said to them, Oh, like, what, who, what, do they normally get, like, people in? Or, like, do you know, they're normally higher coordinators? Or what happens? He was like, no, the family just do it and help them. And I was like, sorry, what? Oh, oh,

sorry.

like, imagine that. So I did, I know, right? So we were on site at 9am. We were on site till 1am. And I did 35, 000 steps. And that, that was a lot.

Yeah.

Normally, when it's just one space, obviously it's only one room, so you're not Like, one of my friends asked me, Are you gonna have to gonna do loads of steps? And I said, it's not normally bad when everything's in You know, when there's a church, and then you've gotta run around the church, and then come back, and you're running. Or if it's a site that's massive, or if you've got like a stately home, and you've gotta go up and down stairs, then you do a lot.

what you were doing.

How much we were doing. Yeah, so it was a lovely day. They had a really nice time, which is lovely. But

Mads, and obviously, you

yeah.

a really nice message the next day as well,

Exactly. Yeah,

it

but yeah, so just to explain a little more about why, you know, we were rolling tables and stuff away. So the venue that they had is what you would class as a dry hire venue. So, a dry hire venue so I just wanted to explain a little bit about how that's different. So, essentially, all you are doing is hiring the space, so the ground.

you

how you found it. Bit like an Airbnb, do you know what I mean? But there's no, like, you know, and again, like an Airbnb, there's no reception, you know, in an Airbnb, there's no receptionist, no waitress, and it's essentially the same as a dry high venue.

You just get

And then you have a guy with a key.

Yeah

a guy with a key, making sure no one starts a fire, you know, making sure that he's normally checking out the sound limiter and stuff. Yeah, so, in terms of, they won't get involved at all with any of the venue They, you are purely just hiring the space. And it's the same with land, we class that as a dry hire venue. So you're just hiring the land. When you're literally hiring the floor and you, and you get it as it comes and you have to leave it as it comes.

Yeah,

you, you wouldn't, you wouldn't expect to not hire a caterer. Should be the same with a coordinator. And I don't think people are getting that message yet of how important it is, until even closer to the time.

because otherwise it falls down to what the people don't realize it literally is your responsibility If you're the bride and groom You've not going to be you're gonna have to be doing the organizing or like you're gonna have to

Exactly.

and Your groomsmen to be doing it and let's be honest that takes away from that I know that at the end of the day, I feel like if you're gonna have like bridesmaids, groomsmen They're there to enjoy the day with you. They're not there as your

Exactly. They're not staff. We're staff. Like, look how we did 35, 000 steps on Saturday, like, and, and actually, the, the, the groomsman said to me, oh, we've been told we're on, like, table help duty, do you need any help? I was like, absolutely not. Look at me. And where the tables were, like, dusty and dirty, which they always are. Like, I was just covered in, like, dust. I was like, there's no way you're touching a table. It is, it's dirty work. You get hot, you get sweaty.

things you just don't think about. Yeah.

Yeah,

by, like,

actually,

Yeah.

and I remember when they booked me and they were like, I can't remember if it was the bridal green, one of them was like, I don't feel like we really need it, like, I feel like our friends could do it. And I'm like, when I look at that day, there is no way, because nobody, you need like someone to be accountable, right? So one person who everybody has their number for, you know, if they rock up and they can't find the location or they don't know where to park.

the

know, Yeah! So, if you haven't got that, like, what would have happened on Saturday? Like,

Oh my gosh.

just, yeah. No. Dread to think. Dread to think. Perish the thought. Yeah.

actually I had a question for

Yeah.

you don't mind me asking. So this has come from, this has come from an avid listener.

Oh, hello

in law and she,

sister in law.

So she wanted to know actually how how much she should budget for a wedding coordinator, a wedding planner. So I wasn't a hundred percent sure. So I said, I think it on like, obviously you're probably different people charge different price, but I don't know if it works like a

Yeah. Yeah.

shed some light on that just so people kind of know. Maybe what they should

Yeah.

for a

Yeah. So our service includes a site visit and your final meeting, contact with all your suppliers. So we send, we, we, you get a copy of our wedding plan. We send that to all the suppliers. So you get quite a bit involved. And then the 12 hours on the day and we charge and you can extend that to the end of the night if you want. Our package is 1500. I would say the absolute cheapest you can get a coordinator, but it might be that they don't include a site visit or whatever.

okay.

yeah.

to

Get in touch with us, sister in law. We'll do your let's get you wed sister in law deal. Ha ha ha. You know the score. But it's the same with anything, isn't it? Like you know, paying that bit more for like a reputable wedding florist. It's the same with us. You know, like you wanna pay a bit more to get Yeah.

you wouldn't go for the cheaper part You shouldn't you shouldn't go for someone that's like really someone's really cheap You get a few quotes in like you have three or four quotes, right and someone's coming like real cheap I mean just don't go there because there's

I always think if you think, wow, this.

It's

Yeah. I always think, if you think to yourself, Wow, this is cheap. And I see it a lot on Facebook groups where people like, post quotes like, Does anyone think this is too cheap? And everyone's like, Oh my god, that's a really good price. We paid this, we paid this. It's always like this whole thing. And I'm like, there's a reason it's cheap.

a reason generally it's down to lack of experience and That is gonna

Yeah.

in the ass Probably on your wedding day. So you don't

Hugely. No.

yeah, do your research and

Yeah.

get like a Good idea of what you should be paying. But yeah, that was just interesting to know. I just wanted or she definitely wondered anyway, like how much it would be. And I, I kind of did as well, I guess, obviously I kind of know, but I didn't know if different planners charge different amount. And obviously, like you

Yeah, they do.

of

Yeah, just like, yeah, I'd say, like I say, for an experience, it's probably around like the 1500 mark, but for a planner who gets involved a little bit more or doesn't really do many, it, there'll be, you know, you'll be, you know, it's a bit like how long to be strength, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm.

that I wanted to discuss this between us both. So popped up Not, not too

Whoa.

ago, from the BBC and, and it really, I just really wanted to bring it up here. So it was a photographer saying about the attitude of the people that say, I'm going to say like what do you call them? I want to say priests. No, they're not priests. Are they? Vicars. Vicars and things like that in the churches.

I love this topic.

yeah, so

Yes.

sorry, I don't know why it's a priest, that's, that's

Yeah. Or vicar, or reverend, or a I think it depends I think it depends on the religion, if I'm honest.

basically.

on the, you know, is it Church of England? I mean, I'm not religious, so I don't really know, but I think it depends on the church. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

church going people anyway, or whatever we're going to call them. So basically on a tick tock when pretty viral a couple of days ago,

Right. Yeah.

a. Reverend is being recorded by the photographer being really rude to her in front of like a whole church of guests. So, so, so a bit of background here if you don't know is generally when you do any kind of wedding work in a church, so if you're a photographer, videographer, florist, Wedding planner. Anyone that's got to go and manage your wedding a church. The

fucking hate us.

basically,

That's fair, they do.

do. They literally, you couldn't be any more of an inconvenience to them if you tried. Like they literally hate

Yeah.

But it's

Yeah.

because this, this reference.

That wedding we did last year, sorry just to go completely off piste,

no.

so nice, wasn't he? He's probably the nicest,

he offered to, he made me coffee. He made me coffee. Literally,

did! Yeah. Yeah.

and he knew I was pregnant and he was like, oh, so like, interested and he was like, oh, you know, make sure you don't do it. Can I help

Yeah.

And, but the fact that he just made me a coffee was enough for me to think, yeah, this, he was, he was like, he was different

He was decent. But it is very rare that that happens.

Yeah. It's very rare. so basically what it is, is they've started like a and you can sign it as it's just to start a conversation basically about

I need to look at this.

I don't know, I don't want to call them like reverends, I just want to say, I'm just going to call them like churchgoing people, okay? Because I don't know what

Vicar.

I just keep trying to say, I want to

Yeah. Fair

and it's really odd, and I don't know why, I'm like, this is

father. That's because a lot of them are like Father Richard. Father Peter. Yeah is. But this is so true because I've had so many instances where like

So I

been

talk

so rude.

what I think couples don't realize as well is it's basically what it is, is if you're especially for photographers, videographers, they literally don't want them to be seen. They don't want them getting in the way. They'll like limit what they can and can't film. Like, you know, and it's the same with

Yeah,

want me to put flowers everywhere, what they don't realize is some of the Areas in a church are like sacred and you can't touch them. And I've had no end of like

yeah.

you go to like, oh, this is where a site visit obviously again, comes in to play here. Like if I, you know, you go and you, you meet with the father, the vicar, the reverend the couple, and this, this all needs to be discussed at the church with them because they can be incredibly difficult. They will stop you doing anything you want to do.

So difficult.

this is what this petition is about

Yeah.

want to open a conversation where they can sort of be a little bit more lenient and a little bit more friendly to people because people are coming to get married and, and

Yes.

couples want to have like their wedding filmed, like, do you know what I mean? They want it all on, on camera. That was

Yeah,

And they're basically like, I think one

exactly.

and she'd only taken one photo of the whole service because the vicar had been so funny with her about what she could do. And like the

What? Because it's

what the

so awful.

like, oh, you know, what can I do? But that's the extent that they'll go to. But I just

But do you know what as well? I've had this conversation with people before and they're like really baffled. They're like, but that just surprised me because churches are supposed to be like, you know, really nice places to go and really like open and inclusive and welcoming and I'm like, they absolutely are not. Like, I actually know quite a few planners who refuse to take bookings. where the couple want to have a church because they're like, I cannot work with them because they're so awful.

worked with some

I had a, my worst one, it was back in like 2021 I think it was, and the, the, the vicar or the reverend or the It was a woman, so it wasn't a father. She she, she I was with the groom, and the groom was like, oh, let me introduce you to the vicar. And I was like, okay, fab. So she takes me along, considering I'd already been in touch to introduce myself as well, which was even more annoying. And he was like, oh, this is Hannah. And she went, and who's Hannah? To him.

me?

You can't be running around here, running around my church trying to taking over. And I was like, Oh no, I'm just literally having a chat with the photographer because I know her. And she was like,

my own

She was just, honestly, she was like, Don't be running In the end, I just walked off. I was like, I'm not being spoken to like that. Like, it was Honestly, she was vile. And afterwards, the groom was like, I am so sorry

Yeah.

Yeah, so I haven't seen this video, so what's in it?

Yeah, so basically it's a, it's a photographer and she's like, like you were just explaining the the attitude and the way that she's, the reverend spoke to you. That's how they speak to her sort of like this same attitude. And, and then

probably the same church.

It's probably is so yeah, it's just, it is terrible. And I, and I just thought I really wanted to bring it up because I've just seen it and it's, it's so irrelevant. And I know like I've been to, I've done so many church weddings and I've had so much stick from, and it is like, they taught you like you're a piece of shit on their shoe. Like they really do.

do.

they really get all high and almighty. Like,

Yeah, but I was lucky last year. Like, we did the one together in Surrey. I had one in Cambridge. He was lovely. That was an amazing church. Holy Trinity Church in central Cambridge, but they were really young and they were just like the nicest people. But I normally tend to find out that the village churches, they are older and They do just look at you like, Oh, you don't know what you're talking about. You don't know what you're doing cause you're young, which really infuriates me.

Yeah, he was really

He actually like gave me the shivers a little

Oh, what's that?

the shivers.

god, this is

So.

He's here with me!

honestly, like, I'm not religious at all, right? But we'd been we went to the church rehearsal the night before, and when he turned up, I was on the phone, and at that time, we We're trying we'd had a nightmare buying a house. So we'd sold our house and we kept having, every time we bought a house it was falling through. And then we got to the point where the day that I was doing this wedding we'd actually seen two houses put in offers on both and we got accepted on both.

Whoa.

Sorry? He said you're buying a house, you, you look stressed, you're buying a house, I said. I was like, oh, I don't, I don't, I was

That's, that's mental.

I know, and he said, go have a chat with, and I can't remember, I'm not religious, so I don't know, it was like Jacob or Joseph, I don't know, he said, go have a chat with him, the statue over there, go have a chat with him, he, he always knows what to do, he'll let you know what to do, he'll, he'll guide you on your path, like, really chilled like this, and he literally just walked off, and later I said to him, at the How did you know I was buying a house?

That's

like, just kind of looking but thinking, like, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do. And then the house that I was on the phone about when I was in that church is the house I'm sitting in now.

Oh my gosh, that is so

After 12 months of problems. Isn't that mental?

a bit, oh my god, that makes me feel weird. That's

And I'm not religious but that was yeah. The fact that he knew it just

That is, I'm trying to think now if he said anything to me. He didn't, he just made me a coffee. He obviously read my mind and knew I needed it.

was he like, the baby's gonna be called Lily?

Oh yeah, he was like, and she will be born on the 26th of January. And I was like, whoa.

your blood pressure is high. I wonder if he said to you like, don't get high blood pressure. But

I'm like, oh, how'd you know? Go and talk to

yeah, I need to check this video out because it's

Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, I've had some horrible experiences.

that's just just one for couples out there if you're getting married in the church, make sure you just explain to them either who your, like, suppliers are gonna be there on the day and try and just, you know, ask if there's any restrictions because otherwise it might come as a bit of a surprise when

yeah, because they don't always preempt it,

No, and then they're not always very easy to get a hold of either,

No, they're really not.

They don't reply to emails. They're not really at the job of, you know, they don't reply to a whatsapp or BRB, being holy.

yeah. BRPP and Holy. Yeah, no, that's very true. No, I'll look into that. That's good. I'll share that on the old socials.

so oh,

Go on, go on.

Listeners questions.

Yeah, shall we go on to the listeners

Let's do it. Yeah, so

Fab, do you want to go

yeah, this one's a good one actually. So who should be on the top table?

Woo,

So I mean, sometimes you might have a sweetheart table, which is where it's just bride and groom.

two of you. So, if we're talking traditions, right, if we're going back, if we're going way

Way back, way

way back, way back. So traditionally, it's both, it's bridegroom, both sets of parents, and the best man. So you have seven, which really infuriates

I s

it's odd. yeah. but way, way, way back when, the parents used to, so the mother of the groom would sit next to the groom, and then the f And then they always get confused about

like opposite, innit? Ha

Yeah, yeah, yeah, And then the fu No, I've got that wrong already.

ha! Mother of the bride sits next to the groom. Father of the father of the bride sits next to the bride. And then you have mother of the

sits next to the brother, the mother of the

that's it. Mother of the Yeah!

father of the bride. Yeah. So you like switch it

trying to think of my word in.

I've seen that around a little bit again lately because where if you have got divorced parents, it actually works quite well because then they've gotta sit next to each other.

think,

but it then swapped years later. So the tradition was just both, you know, the father of the bride, father of the groom sat next to each other and then mother of the groom. Mother. Sorry, I've probably said that wrong as well. Father of the groom, mother of the groom sat next to each other. So,

we had it like the traditional way, but we, I think, cause Richard's parents aren't together, they get on but they were sat together on the top table but because we had the best man, so we had eight, so it was, it ended up being even, so we had like both our parents,

other person?

so we had, well, it's, oh, hang on,

Did you

we did have, hang on a minute, I think we did have seven, I think I'm talking out my arse, so yeah, so it was me, Richard, Richard's mum, Richard's dad, my dad, my mum, Richard's

Best man. Yeah.

Oh, sorry, it's 7. Why did I think we had 8? Oh, yeah. Sorry. Made up someone.

if you don't want to sit next to your parents, you think that's going to be boring, you've got to sit with them for like two and a half hours. Just have who you want. I've seen people like have friends tables, so they'll have like their bridesmaids, their best man or their groomsmen or whatever on their top table. Parents then go onto the main tables with, you know, because sometimes the parents want to sit with the grandparents or the aunties or whatever.

Yeah, it gets silly, doesn't it?

ridiculous. And also, if you've got 50 guests, don't have 10 people on your top table because that's a fifth of your

Yeah, that's true. Also

do that before. Do you know what? Way back in, way back when,

way back. We've gone way

way back when, when I first started in the industry, I'd only been, I think I was working in a hotel. been doing it for like a year and this couple, they had like 40 guests and we did a v shaped top table for them that had 25 people on it and then they had three, three round tables with eight people on each

What?

couldn't pick their top

Yeah, so actually, this, this goes in nicely to if you have got, like, some family frictions or anything like that, because Like, my friend got married, and I know she obviously, like, she wanted a mum and dad on the top table. And I don't think they quite get on, and I think there was, there was quite a bit of, like, issues there, and, and I think it made it awkward for her to kind of, like, choose.

Or go down the friend route. Or just have you two, and then your, like, maid of honour and your best man, the

Yeah,

That, that could be

that's nice.

But yeah, but I do think it's, like, awkward, because, like, if you get on with all your step parents, like, that could be, like, if you've got, like, four parents on each side, that's, like, eight. It's a lot.

That's a lot of people.

I also think it's sometimes quite weird with the best man situation as well, because I think that, like, it depends on the situation, but, like, I've been to weddings before where my other half's best man, and I don't, it's not, like, I don't really know

Yeah, you're just sat on your

sat at the table like, dee, dee, dee.

know you mean, that's a bit awkward, innit?

But I do think, as well, like, I used to always advise, like, always make sure, like, the people that are doing the speeches are on the top table. But I actually don't think it's necessary, because it is easy for them to get up, and, like, with our wedding, you're obviously making a lovely masterpiece on the fireplace. So we're gonna do us you hope we're gonna do our speeches in front of the fireplace. So we're actually gonna get up from our places and go and stand in front of there.

You don't have to do what you think like is normal, like the tradition. You don't have to, you're

I've actually got, I've actually got a wedding this year where the, they've got a b, the hall, like the great hall is stunning. So like, you've got like the great hall and then the dining room is just off of it.

like,

So yeah, I said, I said, you know, we did a wedding last year actually that did that, when moved into a different room and everybody was standing with

man. That's nice actually. That's a bit different. Yeah, I

So yeah, that's our answer to that. That's the tradition, if you want to do

you want to follow it, but if not, here's some more ideas for ya.

yeah,

Mull it over.

Next up we've got, Is it cheeky to ask my bridesmaids to pay for their dresses? Now I have a very strong

Yeah, see I agree. Yeah, I think it is cheeky to ask them to pay for their dresses. I, I

not,

if you're gonna ask someone to be a bridesmaid, I, I feel like you should be paying for their dress at least. Why are you asking them otherwise? See, you've now got to pay money out.

this, exactly, I always use this analogy of, you wouldn't ask somebody to come round your house for dinner or come round for a barbecue or something and then be like, oh, you need to pay for it.

Yeah, exactly. It's the same

are, you are asking them to do something, right? And let's face it, They're gonna be buying a dress that they're not just gonna be able to wear out, like, on holiday or out on the street or wear again. You're gonna be telling them the color. So it's not like they can just go and buy, like, an everyday or an evening dress that they'd wear out again in the color that they want. So why should they be paying for it?

can I just say, if you're getting married and you can afford to pay for a wedding, then I do feel like you should have budgeted for your wedding bridesmaid's dresses. And if not, then don't have bridesmaids. You don't have to. If you're, if you're worried about it as a, as an extra cost, and there's absolutely, you're well within your rights. If you, you don't want to have that expenditure, you just don't have bridesmaids.

Don't have bridesmaids. Exactly. And I also think, like, the way that I always think of it is if you're asking them to do something in particular, then you, you need to pay for it. So, for example, like, I don't care what shoes my bridesmaids are wearing, so I'm like, wear whatever you want. Like, I honestly don't care. Like, as long as they kind of match, but they're not stupid, they're gonna want them to match, they're gonna want to look nice. Same with jewellery.

I did. Yeah, I paid for their alterations. I budgeted for it

Yeah.

again, I just didn't feel like I wanted them to have to cover that cost I just otherwise they could have gone anywhere and got a dress and then got one that fitted them from like ASOS in their side Do you know I mean, but I went to a bridesmaids dress Website and obviously they never they're never right are they then it's not like buying a dress like I say it's not like buying a dress online like in your size 12 or 14 or whatever that they always need to be altered so I just factored that in and

Yeah, they are. So long.

even with heels on so they all had to have some taken up and I just wanted them to feel comfortable and stuff so there's something I I did budget for but obviously

I am, I was a bit the opposite. I was like, just get a dress off ASOS. I don't care. So this is like the right color, but they were the opposite. No, we want these nice bridesmaid dresses. I'm like, damn you. I wanted to get one in the

heh. Yeah,

now I'm paying

Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh.

but it's fair enough, you know. But yeah, I, I can, I think it's really

Yeah. It is. Sorry but you're an arsehole. Heh heh

is when I've seen this Like, being a bridesmaid myself previously, and, you know, having friends that get married, and it's when they don't pre they're not like, I'd love you to be bridesmaid, but FYI, there's gonna be these costs involved. And you go out dress shopping and stuff, and then suddenly it's like, Oh yeah, this is, this is how much it's gonna cost you. And you're like, sorry, what?

Yeah. Yeah.

come up? You know?

that's my

I think that's really rude. I

That is bad.

expect people to pay for stuff, like,

It needs to be on

be upfront about it.

be up front and then it needs to be on their terms and what they can afford because you can't expect someone to then go And get a dress that you were envisioning Some kind of like amazing. I don't know really expensive Style and they can't afford that and if you that's what you want, you should pay for it.

Yeah, exactly. And it's the same with hair and makeup though, isn't it? I think, you know, it's fine to be like, if you want your hair and makeup done, this is the you know, I've got some quotes, this is the price. But if you're saying, you need to have your hair and makeup done, you need to pay for it.

they could have just used that money on there.

as well just

Yeah, exactly

We've had a runny one today,

we? have, but it's been good. It's felt good.

Vickers.

Fathers.

Alright then, guys. Well, thank you so much. We'll see you again next

Yes. Thank you for listening. And you can follow us on socials is at let's get you wed podcast. Email us of any listener questions. Let's get you wed podcast at gmail. com. We love to hear all of your questions. get those in.

Amazing! Thanks, guys. We'll

for listening. See you next week. Bye!