Hello? Hello.
Hello. Happy Valentine's Day from yesterday.
Oh, the Valentine's special. We're kind of guessing that anybody's here is newly engaged because we are doing an engagement special today. So congratulations. Should we get started?
it.
Hi, I am Hannah
And I'm Hailey
and we are your wedding planning experts.
the tea on the inside of wedding planning and everything that goes with it.
Expect our honest opinions, the real juice on what happens on a wedding day,
few tips thrown in between,
and also just a chat between friends
and of course, make sure you hit that subscribe button
and let's get you.
word
Woo.
engagement
Welcome.
Welcome. Welcome.
Make sure if you're new here, that you subscribe, go back, listen to the old episodes
some great tips.
we have.
chat. What more could
Yeah. Telling you all about the, in the truths of the wedding industry.
Yes. No boring. There's no boring chat here.
No, nothing.
we're real.
just to kind of briefly introduce, I'm Hannah. I'm a wedding planner and event manager, and Haley.
am a florist,
So we've got, we've got like two extraordinary. She is, so you've got like two good
have lots of
know,
between us, lots of
yes.
While I'm a
Two good perspectives.
So I do
Yeah.
happens on the wedding day. I'm also what, married myself and have recently
Yeah.
my wedding. So
Yeah.
lots of lots of intel that I can share.
I am currently planning my wedding for a couple months time. Haley's just birthed her baby, her first baby,
my
which is very exciting.
Exciting times.
So what we thought we'd do today is we're gonna go through 10 top tips for newly engaged couples. We're gonna go through and we're gonna explain them a little bit, and hopefully it's a little bit of one of those today where it's like, you know, we're giving you lots of information. Normally it's a bit more chilled. We'll, we'll have a bit of a chat. We'll throw in some hints and tips here and there, and you might take something away from it.
But today it's gonna be a little bit more info because you kind of need that, don't you? When you're first engaged,
you need a bit of guidance. Like where do you
you do.
is a question we get quite often come
It is.
where do I start? I'm engaged, what do I do? So I feel
Yeah.
a, a little, you know, it's quite a
Little snippet.
Yeah.
Yeah. Of what Did you feel that, did you get engaged and feel that like, because although you're in the wedding industry, like you say, it is more, you know, you hadn't seen, seen it from like a planning point of view where you like, whoa, what do I do?
the first thing to do?
Yeah.
I was a bit, and also you get quite excited, so you kind of wanna do
Yeah,
it's
you do.
up getting yourself a bit overwhelmed, I feel. So
Yeah, a hundred percent
I did try and listen to some podcasts when I was planning my wedding to kind of help me, but I just found that they were all very boring to, to be honest with you. Informative, but boring and I
but too, sometimes you can have too much tips. And I find that as a, as a business owner, when you listen to podcasts that are like business related, and it's like, I don't wanna sit there and listen to like, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip. I wanna like, yeah, definitely. Not what we're doing today, but there you go. Ha.
Yeah.
have a chinwag as well.
overload. No.
Get ready, get your notepads out. And yeah, let's get going. So, first up, I think this is the most important one, and to be honest, it's probably something that naturally happens once you've got engaged, but I do think you need to put some time aside. Just the two of you to sit down and have an initial conversation about your day.
percent.
think, like even when, you know, I did it when we got engaged we got engaged summer of 22. You know, as soon as we got engaged, you start to, oh, we could do this, we could do that. But I think when you actually have to seriously sit down, just the two of you and really seriously talk about, okay, what is it that you want? What is it that I want? Close your eyes, visualize the day. Where can you imagine yourselves, you know, is it a big wedding? Is it a small wedding?
Are you getting married in the uk, getting married abroad? Are you getting married in a marquee in a barn? I think that's really important.
you're on the same page, because
Yes,
if you're not, and this is where this is, like, this is where you need to start. Because if you're not on the same page, the whole, the whole process is gonna be difficult.
a hundred percent.
aspect of it. So you need to make sure that you're both happy with where you're, where you're
Mm-hmm,
journey. Like
definitely.
look like, what you know, because one of you might be quite. Confident and outgoing and want like a big wedding with like lots
Yeah.
And then, you know, one of you might not be so, you know, might prefer something a bit more
Bit more. Yeah, exact. And, and do you know what that is a good example. 'cause I see that a lot on like wedding planning Facebook groups. I'm in hundreds of them where it's like, oh, I'm, I'm really worried 'cause my other half wanted this big wedding
Yeah.
really anxious and nervous about walking down the aisle and be in front of all these people. And actually, if you'd had that conversation at the start and said, do you know what? That's not really me and that's not what I want.
Yeah,
probably could have avoided it.
definitely.
and you probably see it, well, like I do a lot where you, you, when you're sitting in a meeting with a couple, sometimes they end up like arguing 'cause it's like, what? I didn't know we were doing that. What, what?
Yeah. Yeah. They're like, oh, how many? Because I'll be like, oh, how many tables have you got for center pieces? And they're like, oh, I've got like 15. And the other one's like, what?
What we should only have five.
Yeah. Things
So true. Good. One, good place to start. Make sure, just put aside a couple of hours one night and you know, get those notepads out and yeah, get jotting down some ideas.
of
Definitely.
Like there's no need to be against each other. You gotta work together.
Yeah,
figure out a plan going
definitely.
Yeah.
the next one, do you wanna, you, you do the next one?
So next one's budget. So, very important, we do have
So important.
on this because it
We do,
it is very important. But I think you've got to sit down. Again, in this conversation you're having about your day
yes.
you also
Do them at the same time. Yeah.
exactly. Just have a look at how much you've got, you know, how much have you got in the kitty together to,
Yeah.
on your wedding? We sort of said before, you know, you don't wanna go getting yourself into debt or anything like
No.
It's not it's not good. And
No,
think
don't wanna be stressing about money through the journey.
wedding over
Exactly, and we talk about like this a lot in the budget episode, which is episode three. Go back and listen to it. And we also mentioned it in the last episode as well, where like you, we see so often especially for me as a planner, where people do start jumping into venue viewings and doing those exciting things but don't actually, haven't thought about how much they wanna spend and then you end up falling in love with something that you then just can't afford.
And I do think it is so important, those. First two, that first conversation should be what you both want, realistically, being honest with each other, and then how much you wanna spend. You have to have these awkward conversations with like parents as well. Like, you know, if they are gonna be putting in money. No,
it's a
you gotta ask 'em. Yeah. How much are you putting in then, you know?
Like if you, if they have, if they have suggested that they would give you some money, things
Yeah.
you are putting together a budget, then, you know, just have that chat. I know like it is awkward, but then you can be realistic about what
Exactly
at,
how what you've got.
that you, that you
Yeah
because like we said, it's nothing worse than sort of. Get having this fairytale in your head and you found a venue, you've fallen in love, and it turns out
yeah,
afford it, then you're gonna
exactly.
either go and get a loan or something so you can, or you're not gonna have the wedding
Stress. Yeah.
to
End up canceling it.
Yeah. I just cancel
You know, the way that we did it is we put together, so you know, any money that we already had that we wanted to spend on the wedding, we worked out you know, what parents had offered us. And then we worked out, okay, this is when we wanna get married, how many months that was, and how much we could afford to save each month without like break in the bank.
Yeah.
then we. Literally time sat by how many months we had left, put all the amounts together and that's the total amount that we had. So, yeah.
No, that's
if there's noise. By the way, we've got building works going on the, in the new house.
If you heard in the last episode, Hannah has moved
Yes. Two, a renovation project. Lovely.
to hear some of the renovation.
Lovely. Number three is the wedding party. And big tip, don't rush into it.
Spend time thinking about this.
Yeah.
thought into it because once you've asked, I
You've asked,
you can't
and we've spoke about this before, haven't we? And do you know what? We get a lot of questions on this as well and comments, and I see it again in planning groups all the time where people fall out with their bridesmaids and it's just a lot. Or they feel pressured because they should have certain people. And this isn't just the bridesmaids, this is like, you know, any other roles like Best man as well, ushers, groomsmen. Do you need them? Do you want them?
go too. I feel like you can have too many, too
Yeah, I do.
many roles. Sometimes it's okay
Yeah.
have a bridesmaid and have a best man.
Exact We did. We did this for our wedding. Right.
and, I mean, I can't talk. I had loads, but
You did have a lot. Yeah. Well, we.
fine for us.
We had we had, we kinda made that decision 'cause my other half has been a groomsman quite a lot and breast man. So we are like, okay. So a breast man. Best man. Best man. He had been a best man quite a lot. Not a best man, groomsman quite a lot and he's been best man, et cetera. He's got three brothers, so we are like right, if you worked out who he's been groomsman for and he would want them to be his plus family.
Plus I've got a brother and a nephew and you know, we'd end up with lows and I've already got six bridesmaids who are already asked. We've only got 45 people coming to our wedding, so it was like, we have six bride MAs and then like six groomsmen and a best man. That's like half our guests.
gonna say, everyone has a role.
Literally, we were gonna be buying everybody's outfits. So yeah, I think, and again, I kind of had already decided my bridesmaids. I do think it's something that you, something that you as a woman you kind of already know.
Yeah. You A bit of an idea? I think. Definitely.
but I made that decision before we actually ultimately made the decision of what we wanted to for our wedding. So we actually went from having like a big Marques wedding to actually a quite an intimate wedding because when we actually looked at what we actually wanted, once we had that conversation, we are like, nah, that's, that's,
Yes.
not actually what we want. And. So, yeah. So if you run ahead, ask all these people to be bridesmaids and groomsmen's and God knows what else, and then change your plans in a loop. Yeah. Awkward.
also don't forget that obviously these people that you're asking in your wedding party, each person is gonna cost you money.
Yeah.
harsh, but you're gonna be paying for a dress because I do think, well, and we have discussed
Mm-Hmm.
someone to be a bridesmaid or you know, you, you're gonna be paying for their
Yeah, of course. You've asked them. You should pay for it. Yeah. Yeah.
So each person is gonna be, cost you sort of, you know, a hundred fifty, two hundred fifty pounds. So you
For a dress. Yeah.
like
Hair and makeup.
into your
Yeah
before you sort of go and ask everybody and get all excited. You gotta obviously
Yeah. Think about these things.
your time. Don't
And don't feel pressured and, and pick people that you know are gonna support you. And they're not gonna be awkward and they're not gonna be like making a thing of, oh, I don't like that dress that you've picked me. Or, you know,
yeah.
pick people that are gonna be supportive and they're gonna stick by you. 'cause that's the whole point of having a wedding party is to support you.
Yeah. Beating you up on the day. biggest
that head and stack, you know,
you've gotta get people that are the same wavelength.
a hundred percent. Cool.
so number four, if you are gonna be planning, you want to keep yourself organized. So however that works for you, you might want a wedding planning diary doing that on an Excel sheet, you know, setting up a separate email like a joint email for you
Yeah, I always think that's good.
Yeah,
Yes.
just keeping organized and, and making sure that you are, you know, keeping everything in one place.
Yeah.
you're on top of everything. Any, like, you know, if you've sent off any inquiries, if it's gonna be coming back to you, you want that joint email. I know we set one up, it was just like,
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I've always thought they're a bit cringe,
While a wedding 2022.
They are so useful. 'cause everything is then in one because you know what it's like with your own personal email, you get so much crap email to you that you're like, what? I can't even find that email. And then when you go to the registry office and they're like, what is the exact address of your venue? And you're like, oh God, I can't find the email. You know? And like, have I booked that? Have I paid that deposit? Yeah. So I always think as well keep to what works for you.
Because for me, I like, I'm an Excel girl through and through. So.
not, don't be doing that.
Exactly, so I've got an Excel sheet. Yeah, I've got an Excel sheet. I've got loads of different tabs on it. It's got everything on there from my honeymoon to my Hindu to to the budget, to timings. Everything is on there, so keep to that one place. I'm not a notebook kind of gal, so these wedding planning diaries don't work for me. I think they're two regimented in, you know what?
And the thing is, is when you get engaged, as people go out and buy these kind of things for you as gifts, you end up with like four different books. Notepads is is just a lot. Keep it all in one place.
those books is that they kind of think that one kind of
all.
fits everybody and it
Yeah. Doesn't,
so, so varied. So
yeah.
they're that great, but some people like them and some people get on with them. So
Yeah.
then you use that. If it's
Great.
be organized then. But
I do think though, yeah, I'm an Excel sheet girl in a Google like Google Drive or Dropbox or something, because then everybody that's involved can see it. So even if you wanna show your parents that when you've got one diary, like if you lose that or if you
boy, no.
Yeah, all your notes are gone. Or if your other half wants to see it, you know, you've got everything in one drive. Then like mine, I've got a Google Drive, so everything's in there, like templates and menus and everything. So if my other half's like, oh, what, what do I need, you know, wants to look at, so then he can see it as well. So.
great.
Yeah. Number five, we've got plan your planning time. Now, this sound might sound a bit crazy 'cause you're newly engaged, you're so excited. All you wanna talk about is the wedding. But trust us, when you get a few months in be like, oh my God, and your other half and your bridesmaids, and everyone is just gonna be sick of talking about your wedding.
were like, oh, this person again. Let's talk about Word.
Yeah, so I always say plan in your planning time. So put some sides time aside each week, I don't know, every Wednesday night is when you sit and you speak about, yeah, your wedding time, go out for dinner, whatever. And we've actually started doing this lately because obviously we're trying to renovate the house. We've just moved and we've said, do you know what?
With my behalf, Connie said to me like, I feel like, you know, we haven't got long and we've got, you know, I've got stuff to do and I'm not really sure what I need to do. So I'm like, write this. Schedule in this time and let's, you know, go through it then, because otherwise I just think you've got it in the midst of a conversation or out for dinner. You're like, oh, by the way, like, where do you wanna stay the night before? Like, and then you don't write it down.
Then you're like, by the way, what did you say about that? Have you, you know, whereas if you've got it and you've got your Excel sheet up or your wedding planning diary and you focus on that,
Yeah. And
yeah.
productive like
A hundred percent
Yeah,
you won't get sick of talking about it as well.
one else will get annoyed with you either.
Yeah. And also I tend to find that my other half can be like this, like he'll be like, no, we didn't talk about that. Or No, you didn't say that before. And I'm like, oh, I can't. Maybe I didn't tell you either that I've told someone else. Probably told you on the podcast.
Yeah. Next up, and this is important, enjoy your engagement.
A hundred percent.
know, it's.
Yeah.
It is this time you're never gonna get back.
Yeah.
so cliche to say that, but this time of planning, being engaged, like I feel like it's sort of overshadowed obviously by the fact that you are, I know at the end of it you're gonna get married. That is the end goal. But
Yeah.
enjoy that being
A hundred percent.
while if you
Being a fiance.
being a fiance, you know, just take some time to
Yeah. Embrace it. Yeah. Enjoy yourselves.
You
No,
you don't need to get married within a year if you don't want to or
no.
You just take your time and yeah, just enjoy that, enjoy that engagement time because yeah, like I say, it's, it's an, it's a lovely time
And if you like us, you might have been waiting for it for a long time, so
it really, you know,
don't just, yeah, hop in and just be like, right, this is what we need to do.
straight into planning. Take a couple of weeks to just enjoy the fact that you're
exactly.
and
Yeah.
about your engagement stories. Like we'd love to hear them here. If you've got any, please send them in 'cause
Yes, send them in. We do. We absolutely love it, and I think that's important when it goes to date as well. We've, we've referred to this before, but with your wedding date is don't just rush in, like get engaged and be like, right, this is the date. Because you need to think about things like life. What is going on in life, budget, how, you know, how long do you need to save that budget?
You know, you might be, you might have just got engaged February 20 24 and then decide, right, we wanna get married this summer. Lovely. But if you've also already got like your cousin's wedding and hedos and holidays, books, like you might wanna think about that. Yeah, exactly. But at the same time, there is also no limit. A lot of people say this to me all the time, how long until you know, do I need to plan a wedding?
I've planned weddings in as little as eight weeks, maybe even less like so you can get married this year if you've just got engaged, like 1000%. You can get married this year. It is a hundred percent doable. There'll be a lot of people out there that tell you you can't, but it's not true. You can do this. They're lying.
yeah, just get on here, get some tips and get it done.
Yeah, no, just ring me. I'll plan it for you. Lovely.
which Onto the next one.
Yeah, it really does. If you need help, get help. Right. And I mean this as in whether you need to hire a wedding planner. And I feel like some, a lot of people contact me and they say, Hannah, I haven't got time. You know, I've got a life, I've got a full-time job. Which is so true because this is what I do. I plan people's weddings as my full-time job. So completely get that. If you've already got a job,
Yeah, it's
that in is a lot. It's a lot it, there is a lot to do. There's a lot more that than people think behind the scenes that that needs to be done. So a hundred percent get help. And whether, you know, people say to me like, oh, but I'm such a control freak. And I'm like, I'm not here to take the control away from you. I'm here to do all the boring backend stuff. And that's all the Google, you know, the searching, the getting quotes, the check availability of suppliers like that takes a long time.
with suppliers is, is
Oh God, it's long. Especially if you dunno what you're doing. Like we know the right people that are gonna work for you to then, you know, go off and inquire with them.
like. Yeah, definitely.
not having experience in the industry and having to just go on Google and just start like, wait, like even Google?
that
There's just so much. Yeah. Same overwhelm.
having that
Yeah.
intel with
Yeah, so sometimes you need that input, even if it's a one-off session with the planner. And even if it's not a planner, even if it's that you've got parents that will help or you wanna rope your bridesmaids in, like just don't feel like you can't go and ask people for help or ask for their opinion you know, go and say like,
I feel people don't delegate jobs enough. I, I
they don't.
got a wedding party, like we were saying, like you've chose those people because you need the support and you know that they're gonna support you. And I think people are often really keen to kind of help you out with stuff.
Yeah, they are.
oh, is there anything I can do? Like, they did
Yeah.
But if you are, yeah. You know, don't, don't be too proud to ask for help. I
Like, and that is the thing, yeah. As humans we are always too proud and I find that a little bit is that people think they're gonna lose the control. And I think it kind of, the onus sometimes goes onto the woman as well. Like, you know, you hear in the speeches when it's like, you know, this all happened because of her and you know, she did all the planning. And I'm like, if that's what you've then heard, you then think. That's what I've gotta do as well. And that's just not true.
It is a, at the end of the day, it is a profession. Planning a wedding is a profession, which means like, I wouldn't just go and plumb my own washing machine in, do you know what I mean? So
God,
you wanna get a professional to do, you know, and you would whip your own bouquet together, would you? So you need a professional to,
yeah,
yeah. Come on. Get the help. Get the help. Like having someone in your corner is so important. I think a
the day management is great as well. Like that's such a good
hundred percent. I've got one for my wedding. I'm a planner. You know you had me.
that was, that was so helpful for us. Like, I just thought it
Yeah.
really. Well, I would say even like invested to be fair.
Yeah.
was so it was such a help. So if you
Yes,
budget that in and
definitely. Is it if you, especially if you've got a dry eye wedding, we're going off on a tangent now, but if you've got a dry eye venue, you have to have someone on site because people who don't have someone Oh
when they don't. And I just, you, especially me. 'cause I'm like obviously
yeah,
view and I'm
yeah, exactly.
I know. I just, ah, anxiety.
Yeah, and I've, I hear it from couples sometimes that inquire and it's on the day management, and they're like, do you know what we've decided? You know, we spoke to mom and she's just like, happy to kind of take the reins on the day. And I'm like, what?
gonna do it for me. Oh.
No, like. If something goes wrong on the day, that is the what, like people and people always say exactly what you've just said to me, is this the best investment they made? Because for them to be able to sit back and relax on the day is priceless. You can't actually put price on that,
No, totally.
you know? We do. We do. And to ask your bridesmaid to do that, the ridiculous amount of work we do, the steps we do. We don't stop all day. We've got our hands down the toilet when they get blocked. No.
God.
Yeah. So that's a regular one, especially at marquee wedding. Yeah.
We'll even unblock your toilets.
Well, even on block, definitely
There is no, nothing we won't do. So deciding on how you're gonna search for your suppliers. So you know, so lots of people use Instagram, Google,
Yeah.
Pinterest you
Directories,
yes. So
magazines.
like that.
Wedding fairs.
Yeah, wedding fairs
Yeah.
one. I, so I've
Yeah.
I usually go to wedding fairs and do, like, I'll have a, a stand,
Yeah,
there. I find it's good for people to come and see what I can do. 'cause I can do, like, obviously I can do a, a, a mockup cent apiece and things
Yeah.
it's good because I find, obviously you have a chat and people will show you
Yeah,
they want, I think. I think if you actually go to a fair or visit someone in, if they've got a shop or they do like a, if they're a cake making, they might do a tasting or any
yeah,
you can kind of see and get involved with. I feel like that's quite fun as well.
yeah, definitely. And Ven venue recommendations as well. And normally those people are recommended by the venue, but I always just say try and stay in like one lane. 'cause I think the worst thing you can do, we've spoke about this before, is go on Facebook and I've literally just seen it today before we recorded this podcast. Hi, get married in 2025. I've booked my venue and caterer and I need.
X, X, X, X, X, X, you know, videographer, photographer, there was 250 comments on there, like, that's gonna give you overwhelm.
And if you, if you go and post stuff like that, and then you go and look on Pinterest, then you go and look on Google, then you go and look on Instagram, you're gonna feel so overwhelmed and you're gonna end up in a position where you feel like you've, you know, you need to book things, you book it, and then you go to the wedding fair and then you see someone that actually would really, oh, I wish I'd have booked them.
that exactly?
too late. Do your research and yeah, just stick to one, one way that you're gonna research 'cause you otherwise, I do think the wedding industry is overwhelming.
It is, it is.
There's a lot
there's
vendors.
to look at. You know,
Yeah.
so many different. People doing the same thing almost.
Yeah. Tech technically. Yeah.
very competitive. And I think you've gotta kind of, again, going back to having that, the initial conversation of what you want from your
Yeah.
you can kind of, if you've got like a style or a theme of going with, then at least you can whit it down to kind of
A hundred percent and then delete Pinterest. Because I see this so many times where it's like, oh, actually I looked on Pinterest and I've decided I wanna change my color scheme. And you're like, oh my God. 'cause there's new trends all the time. And you know what the wedding industry is like, is it always pushing content for like that, you know, that, you know, for, for a couple of months it'll be all about green. And then a couple of months ago, all about bright colors.
And at the minute it's all about like
I
monochrome. Yeah, like that rust color was like huge last year. Like the coppery color? Yeah, the Pantone color of the year. Everyone's, everyone's going on about that, so I feel like then you start looking at other things and you're like, whoa.
Wow. Yeah,
Yeah.
be a
Overwhelm.
yeah.
So next up we've got terms and conditions. So this is a real important one. And again, I think people get so like waylaid by the excitement and they'll go and see a venue or they'll go and see, you know, find a supplier on Instagram, think, wow, I love your work. And then they just sign on the dotted line. They don't read the terms and conditions, especially with venues and caterers. So then you start having conversations about, I don't know, oh, we wanna do a tasting.
And then you realize there's a charge, which they'll say, well, that was in our terms and conditions. Or they could potentially increase their price depending on food costs, which is fair enough. But make sure you check all those things. Venues, you know, they can add things in there, like you can't have candles or you can't set up the day before. All these kind of things. You need to read your terms and conditions.
You know, we like to think that we're gonna book and the wedding's not gonna need to be canceled. But if in those cases it does IE covid or you just don't know what's gonna happen.
you can't,
Yeah,
see into the future. And I think if you can sort of protect yourself in any way, absolutely. Just go through that through the contract with a. Fine tooth comb
yeah, a hundred percent.
comb,
So yeah, exactly that. Remember that
just make sure that you are, that you're understanding it. If there's anything that you don't understand, there's, you can absolutely question
question? It,
or the supplier and be
Do you know what?
you explain this to me? It's no, there's no
Yeah,
I mean? Like don't just go sign in it.
no. Do you know what? You'll probably agree with me on this. It's very rare anybody ever questions my contract or terms and conditions, and that's what makes me wonder.
they've read
Did you read it or did you just sign it?
yeah. Totally. definitely go through it and just make sure that you understand
Yeah.
And like I say, don't, don't hesitate to ask any questions if you
And
If you don't
because.
or you don't understand something, you can
Yeah, exactly.
Fine.
there's a lot to think about, isn't there? It's like with a venue, right? So you go for your venue viewing, they're probably not gonna necessarily mention things they might forget to mention about candles, for example. You might forget to ask. So, or sparklers or fireworks. Like there's, don't you know, can you bring in your own food? Like, you know, can you bring in your own drink? Is there a charge to do that? All these kind of things that you kind of forget about.
And in the moment you're so excited, like you wanna sign on the dot line, they've got my date available where you can afford the price. And then you start, then you start feeling disappointment later down the line when you're like, well, we really wanted fireworks
Now we
we can't have them.
yeah, definitely. I.
to use their recommended cater, or you have to use their recommended dj, you know?
quite a, that's
Yeah.
a bit, well, yeah, that, that's an annoying one actually. 'cause if that one comes out the woodwork and you're like, oh my God. Like I can't use anyone that I,
Yeah. I mean, they should tell you that, but
a big, like
it's a big thing and very normal and very understandable. But these are the kind of things you might not think to ask, but you, yeah, you need to just check these kind of things.
it.
Cool, but not least.
your day is your day. So that means that you can do whatever you want and that whatever
Yeah.
and you don't have to listen to what everybody else says. And taking outside opinions and other people's expectations. At the end
Mm-Hmm,
you are paying for it. It's it's, it's the day's about you. So don't, don't
And
be overshadowed.
yeah, and also if you're not paying for it, don't feel like you need to be pressured into, you know, have that kind of conversation to say Yes. Great. Thank you so much. But does this mean it needs to be your wedding? Yeah. Because. Yeah, a hundred percent. Oh yeah. I love that word at the minute. Boundaries. So true.
those boundaries
and I think that so many, I've seen so many weddings in the past and you know, one of my things is that I'm a personal wedding personable wedding planner, so I always make sure that, you know, we bring out your personalities in the day. But you know, I've seen it in the past and I've seen it at weddings that I've attended as a guest, is that you're like, this isn't them.
No.
Like, I can't imagine you in this wedding. I just think it's really sad and you need to really remember the whole time, like, what do you want? What would you enjoy? You know, and you know, we've, I've had some amazing examples of people that have made their wedding so personal to them. You know, they've tailored the food to food that they love and eat regularly, and, you know. Decor. Decor and you know, you, if you don't wanna wear a dress, you don't have to wear a dress.
You know, all these kind of things. They are
wow, that was so like, I don't know,
so then,
So Hannah and mine. Like, you just think,
yeah.
and
Yeah.
makes you happy, doesn't it? Like,
A hundred percent. And I always say one of my biggest things is when I talk about what people actually care about on the wedding day, one of those things is always the, your guests seeing the couple happy. So I think if you are at a wedding and the cup, you can just tell the bride is. Or the groom is tense or anxious, or just not enjoying themselves, they won't then in turn enjoy themselves. So I think that's really important. Yeah, exactly.
Like you were saying earlier, you know, if you end up in a wedding with 150 guests, when you are quite an anxious person, you actually really wanted an intimate wedding. A hundred percent.
Yeah,
Yeah. And in your photos as well, that will show. Yeah.
just
Sit there. Yeah.
Don't forget that it's important. That's
That's our 10 top tips. Yeah, it is. Should we go into the listeners' questions? We've got a couple of engagement related ones that people have sent in
Lovely.
wanna do the first one?
So we've got one here. When should I start booking suppliers? So, I mean, it's kind of how long as a piece of string I feel in some
It really is.
it depends who you're booking, what
Yeah.
is. But I feel like there's a few that you should probably get down first, like, prioritize,
Yeah. But again, it's like we said in the past, there is no, I think there is this, all this like, well you need to book this, but obviously you are gonna book your venue first, your caterer, but you could book a venue. Yeah, I'm doing a venue management next month. The couple booked, so sorry. This month we're in February. They booked with six weeks to go. They booked their venue. It's always possible, there's always something out there.
you can always, it is. There's nothing is ever too, you
No,
too,
but I would say,
out.
yeah, but I would say if we'd going in a timeline, you know, you get engaged, enjoy your engagement, and then you'll book, the venue's gonna be the first one because you, you can't really book your photographer about Southern where they're going, you know? Yeah. So
of wedding is like you, like we sort of said you may
yeah.
you may have a church and then a reception in a separate venue, so all of that's
Yeah.
of quite important to kind of
Yes. You're not gonna book your transport before you book your, yeah. So your ceremony registrar's a very important one
That's obviously the
because you can't, yeah, your venue will normally advise this, but if you get married, if you're having a civil ceremony at the venue, you'll need to book your registrar before you fully confirm the venue. Because if the registrar's then not available, that's an issue.
A big
And then the same with caterers as well. So I'd say caterers, venue, caterers, registrar are normally all around the same time. And then I would say after that it's you start filling in the gaps. Yeah. Whatever goes, anything goes.
And then so I mean, quite a good one, I suppose now is how much is a registrar?
Yeah. This is quite, this, this is, this is a long question with lots of different questions.
how much a registrar is,
Yeah.
they the person that legally makes you married? I've heard about a celebrant, but they can't officially marry you. So what's the point of them? Do I need a registrar and a celebrant?
So technically yes.
answer this because obviously you've you've
I'm actually doing it for my own wedding too, but well kind of, so basically the registrar, exactly like you said. Yes. The registrar legally marries you. The cost we can't really comment on because it's different depending on the Yeah, and it depends what you, so I've paid 42 pounds to go and legally be married to sign the bit of pay by, but it's literally me and my other half the basic of basic ceremonies. That's it. But if you want a registrar to come out to the venue.
You're normally looking at, like, I wanna say it's like the five, 600 pound mark, but I'm talking 2024. And it depends what venue they all charge different. So yeah, you need to just get in contact with your, with the registry office that is local to your venue. You also need to pay to give your notes of marriage, which is 35 pounds each. It is, isn't it? Yeah.
if I
like that. I've only just done mine, so Yeah. I'm sure it was 70, I think it was 70 quid for both of us. Yeah. So don't forget that. Yes, that's actually, that's absolutely correct. The, the celebrant can't legally marry you. The point is that there's so much more a flexible, so like we were just saying, if the registrar's not available, don't book your venue because you can't, it is not then possible. Whereas if you have a celebrant.
You're a lot more flexible to then have whatever date and times because you could then book your venue and then go find your celebrant. With the registrar. Registrar, if they're not available, they're not available. So it's flexible. They're more flexible on the day with time in because the registrar will go to like numerous weddings, whereas the celebrant iss a bit more chilled. So if. Yeah, if anything happens, and it's so much more personal. So the register ceremony is about you.
It's not a structured script. You get to write your own vows.
I was gonna say, won't they write like the service toward, like
Oh yeah, they write. Yeah. So they'll meet you like various numerous times before the day. And they'll learn about you and put the script together and you'll write it together, which is so nice. We've actually decided to have our auntie and uncle marry us. So we are writing the script ourselves and then they're gonna perform it, I suppose, as the words. So the way I always see it, right? This is how I always describe it. This is very relatable to you right now.
Hay. Is the day that your baby is born is the day that you celebrate its birthday. Right? You don't celebrate it on the day that you go and register them. So when you go down to the, you just said you went to the ca, the same place you gave your notes, marriage, registered them. So it's the same thing. You'll just register in a marriage by signing a bit of paper that's.
that day.
Yeah, so you'll an so people say, well, when are you gonna celebrate your anniversary? Well, the wedding day, because I'm not like you. You don't celebrate the day you go name your baby, do you? You're gonna sign the bit of paper.
That's a really
It's just for legalities.
Looking at it.
So yeah, you do need both. 'cause you need to legally be reg, this is talking, we're talking the UK by the way, and no, well, yeah, we're talking England and Wales. Scotland may be slightly different. No, I think it's the same. And then a celebrant. If you then wanna celebrate, you can just have a registrar to your venue on the day. It's not a massively different price because if you pay the 42 quid, go sign your bit of paper and then a registrar is celebrant.
They're all different prices, but you can get one for the same, similar price as a registrar.
Yeah.
But what I will say is what we were talking about in the last episode is people can take the going and sign a little bit of paper a little bit too. They can go, they can go, they can run away with it a little bit much. If you are happy to just rock up in your jeans and sign a bit of paper, then yeah, it's not gonna cost you more. But if you end up wanting a dress and a photographer and a full catering for 20 people, then yes, it's gonna cost you more.
do that though.
No, you just gotta rock down. Sign a PA paper.
though, to be fair. If that's what you want, then
Yeah, but I'm a massively pro celebrant wedding planner. I always encourage my couples to have a celebrant. It's just so much more personal. So honestly, I cannot describe blame to you how much more chilled my couples are on the day. Like with the registrar, you have to be there like 10 minutes before the ceremony, which let's face it, brides, is it gonna happen? They say you should be fashion late. You can't be with a registrar. They will physically.
I've had many registrars say to me, if they don't turn up in the next five minutes, we are leaving.
they're
You have to be on time. Yeah. And you have to answer questions and stuff in the day. You know about what you, you know, all legal questions.
nervous, they're
Yeah. You just wanna crack on.
what's your dad's surname? And it's,
Yeah.
like, oh my
What's
my dad?
mom's career like? Job? Yeah. So that's my. Take on it. I think that kind of answers the question, don't it?
Definitely. Yeah. Perfect. Wow,
that's us for today for our engagement episode. Hope it was helpful.
and
Make sure you subscribe.
get in touch.
Yeah, definitely subscribe. Listen to all the old episodes. Go back and binge listen and then join us. We have new.
to.
Exactly. We've got new episodes every Thursday. Highly recommend going back and listening to episode three as well with the budget planning. But yeah, we'll see you next week.
See you
You, you can follow us on Instagram TikTok at Let's Get You a Podcast.
And you can email us at Let's Get Your Word [email protected] and send any questions that you have
Yes.
or Yeah, DM us online, whatever
We always give you the, we always give the honest opinions, don't we, Haley?
absolutely
what we're here for.
Yeah, the
Thanks guys.
Bye.