Hey, hey, we're hoping for no tech problems today. Richard has been told to boost the wifi. I can imagine the text now, Hayley in capital letters, boost the wifi now.
says he can't boost it anymore since we upgraded our Wi Fi, it should be super far. So what's the problem?
who's your wifi with?
Oh Vodafone.
Vodafone, if you're listening, which I'm
I want a refund
CEO of Vodafone is listening to Let's Get You Wet, the podcast. We're here to say, yeah, maybe, please, can you sort Hayley's wifi
Yeah, please. I
Rather irritating.
Keynes like come on. Come
is with that though? Like when I came to your house the other day, I had no signal on
It's I just don't get it I
don't
have 5G either.
This like, sometimes you go to London and you're like, oh, there's no signal. Like what? Like We're not equipped yet for 5G, but it's not quite ready for it yet.
It's not ready. It's not
we are ready though to start the podcast. Shall we go?
Let's do it.
Hi, I'm Hannah.
I'm Hayley.
And we are your wedding planning experts.
Here to spill the tea on the inside of wedding planning and everything that goes with it.
Expect our honest opinions, the real juice on what happens on a wedding day.
With a few tips thrown in between.
And also just a chat between friends.
And of course, make sure you hit that subscribe button.
And let's get you wed! Woo hoo hoo hoo! Just Let's pray right now for no more tech problems. Anyway, how are you? How has your week
I'm good. It's been good. I've been busy actually. I've just had a, I had a wedding yesterday so today I've been picking up all of my Picking up all my bits and pieces. So I hired out, I hire out like log sizes, milk churns and stuff like that and some stands so I went to pick them all back up, but
was, it I haven't seen anything on the Instagram, which I'm not shocked. Well.
That goes out at 6 p. m.
Did you do a little you didn't do a little, you know, front facing video at the venue then, like, hey, I'm here
Oh, hey, it's me No one wants to see me
They do!
day because I look like, oh they don't
They love the reality. That's what we do here, you know? They want to see the real, what really
face while I
yeah. They want to see you covered in soil and, you know, water. People love it. Why not? But how did it go?
no, it was really good. Um, yeah, they were really pleased and the venue were really helpful, really nice actually. So which, it does, you'd think it'd be like a standard thing, but actually it's not. so um, yeah. No shade to all the venues, but no, they were really, they were really good, really nice and helpful.
So I, the set up was actually a really easy process which was really good for me because I had to come and knock a massive heart out of a van, so I've got like a van myself but I needed the big one because they had 14 tables and it took up a lot of room and loads of other stuff
you got it in the end? The van.
the van, yeah, oh yeah, I would have needed the van regardless, yeah, I, there was a moment where I was like can I,
Yeah, I remember you
it in my van if I like to put a shelf in it, but no, it needed the big van, so.
the big van.
big van!
drive a big van. You'll see her cruising
do drive a big van and it does make me laugh because the, the company I hire from is called Bee Hire, like a bumblebee, and their little logo is a bee wearing a cowboy hat and it just, it's just so funny when I turn up to do people's weddings in
That is so random.
a little cowboy hat
But why? That's got nothing to do with like, hiring a van. Be higher.
I know. Well, I
sounds quite wedding. That is something like a wedding business owner would call their business, isn't it? Yeah.
like, bee hire, hiring a prop
Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean?
yeah, but but no, it was good, no, so, glad I got the van, glad I had the bumblebee with a cowboy hat
yeah.
as my, my little logo for the day but yeah, no, it all went really well, the colours, honestly, like, I was saying last week, the, the colours just matched so well, so they had like a cheesecloth table runner on each of their tables they had rounds and Then the log slice went on and then I'd done like a, it was like a wooden box filled with florals and the color of the flowers that she matched that
Oh,
so well, and the venue staff were like, Oh my God, it's so like, you wouldn't believe like the amount of time we have flowers and they like that. She don't match. Well, they're not actually not that good. Like yours are really nice. I was like, Oh,
I'm level four or whatever
that. I was like, I'll take that compliment. Thank you very much. So. Yeah.
fully qualified.
Yeah, that's it. Fully qualified
you told them that you're also a podcaster, you know, throw that in there, flawless podcaster.
it's extraordinary.
tell all the, every, when you're a coach, you know, Yeah, we do a podcast, yeah, you
Check out my podcast. I like to drop it into conversation occasionally. I do, yeah.
You know, they like to,
I'm like,
yeah. Yeah.
But yeah, yeah, so no, that was good. And and the bride was, yeah, she was really pleased as well. So it's always very busy, isn't it,
Yeah, it
go and you meet the bride and they've got a lot going on. So I, sometimes I get like, sometimes it's really nice when the bride's like really happy and they shed a little happy tear and stuff with me. And then, oh, they're amazing. But sometimes they've got so much going on
put him in the corner!
as well. They're just like, oh, oh, where can I put them? Where can I put them? But but no, it was really good. And
more worried as well, they're more worried as well, aren't they, about, like, what they need to do, like, where they need to put them, what they do when they take them out of the water, all those kind of questions, aren't they? Yeah.
routine is to tell the bride and the bridesmaids like take them out 10 15 minutes before, let them dry, hold them bush to bush, Things like that. So and I just sort of say, do you want to hold it and get a feel of it? So you sort of know we holding it and stuff and then we do that. And,
Oh,
but yeah, and another thing actually that I thought, I thought I'd mention so the photographer had done like. You know, the who you're happy getting ready photos and stuff like that. So, the bride and all the bridesmaids had come out, so they were staying in like a little cottage and there's like a courtyard. They'd come out and then they were doing like a champagne spray. Which, which is, we did on our wedding. After, after the ceremony. So, like with all the groomsmen and bridesmaids.
But. They were all in their, like, dressing gowns, so they're still getting ready, but the brides, obviously, like, just had their hair and makeup done, and they're, like, spraying, they were, like,
it's a random time to do it. It
what I thought. So, I thought I'd mention it, because I was like, I, I normally thought you'd want to do it after the wedding ceremony, because you're not too, obviously, you still want to look nice, but if it goes in your hair and your makeup, you're sort of
Yeah, more excited,
yeah, whatever. Whereas, like, she was, like, in the middle of having her hair and makeup done,
But the hairdresser was loving that. Ha ha!
I bet. The hairdresser and the makeup artist were stood watching, and like Richard, my husband, had like come and was helping, he was sat in our van, and we were like setting up, so just like all these random suppliers, just watching them like spray,
Yeah, it's
spray Prosecco, so it was like a little bit awkward as well, like, probably not, but, but they seemed a bit like he was going, oh, you know, cheer, cheer and do this, and it seemed a little bit staged, like not
his, he's probably thinking about the Instagram reel or the TikTok to be honest. He's like, things you should do on that, because you don't really see people doing that, it's not really a thing because like you're saying, logistically a little bit weird.
yeah, yeah,
Yeah, I don't really see many people do it at all, if I'm honest.
no, I mean I'd never seen it but until we
No, you did it
I was a bit like
did it after like the group shots
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry. See you
Yeah. and that that did work quite quite well. But yeah,
Yeah, cuz everyone's like in them like everyone's like in the moment aren't they so like we had two bottles and like They spray it like Richard and his best man sprayed it and we were all like stood together But it went away from us whereas she was like doing it I said I wouldn't have wanted to do it myself because I got I'd have got it everywhere. I'm just so like
Oh, for, yeah random, yeah, I would say this is quite a random time to do it, because you haven't actually done anything yet. What if you then get to the aisle and he's, he's
they say no, and then
ha ha! He's, he's not turned up, like, Yay! Oh! Ha ha ha! That's so mean. oh,
Cartridges on the buttonholes. You remember I said I had to like cut the cartridges
were they cool? You didn't, you didn't shoot yourself or explode in the
No, no, so Richard,
Oh, you got Richard to do that? Yeah, of
I left, left him to potentially blow himself, I know. They're all empty, but
She's like, look,
he did
Lily needs her mother more than she needs her father. So I feel like this is the job for
I am a priority.
I'm sorry. You're gonna have to
But yeah, they all looked good though,
Yeah, did it work well then, were
Yeah, they looked really good. They looked really good. I
do it
a photo. No I'll do it again, it's just that my fingers haven't recovered quite yet from the hot glue gun that I had to glue them on with and it's fiddly and luckily I've got long nails so I managed to sort of like hold them with my nail and like stick them on but oh my god I kept like burning
That's so funny because we were literally, there's something, I can't remember what it was now, but we were talking about gluing something yesterday and Martin said, oh we need to glue this, and I said, do you know what, I would genuinely offer to do it, but I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I've still got a bit of glue on my tooth from when I stuck the pearls on my wedding shoes.
What glue did you use? What glue did you
it was like that super super, is it
Oh my god, oh.
you, like, super glue in the little thing. And basically I just got all in a bit of a, in a bit of a, in a bit of
Why is it in your mouth?
basically bought
Did you use your mouth to
I don't, I bought these like, canvas y trainers, and I wanted to stick some pearls on them to match my
Yeah, love it. The DIY bride.
Yeah, that was the only bit of DIY I'd done, obviously because, oh no, I did also stamp Mitzi Mooheads on my napkins but Yeah, so this is why I didn't do a lot of DIY because I ended up with, I don't really know, they kind of got stuck on my fingers and there was glue on my fingers and then I must have like, touched my mouth and then there was glue on my tooth on the front and the back and then I managed to get the stuff off the back, but there's still a tiny little bit on one of my teeth and I
can just ever so slightly feel it, but yeah.
you used to get like a little nail file and just file it off.
know, I'm a bit scared to do that, so
I'm just like get a nail file
Hehehehehehehehe Just shave your
your teeth down.
what the hell. So yeah, I'm not good with the glue either, so I completely feel you there. Hehehehehehehehe
Oh dear. But yeah, so that was my week in a
Did you make the photographer though? Are you gonna get the professional shots?
I mean, I didn't really want to mention it, but he was a bit of an arsehole.
Oh! Oh, bad times.
He was a bit rude. Like,
You could ask your couple though. You could say, have you got any, like, photos of the flowers and the buttonholes and stuff. They're normally, like, willing to
Yeah, I normally go through the couple because that's who I sort of
Do you know what though?
Occasionally I do approach the photographers though.
Yeah, you're 100 percent sure. Like, she'll work as well at the end of the day.
Yeah, I'm not obviously credit them always in the photos, but he was just a little bit like, I don't want to say, he was a little bit rude.
know what?
I do find, I found, I do find this with weddings though, and I think sometimes I can come across to other suppliers a bit of an arse in the morning sometimes because at that first point, and everyone's really busy and got a lot going on, and then everyone's a bit like, No, this, no, this, like, no, this needs to go here, no, you can't set that up there, and blah, blah, blah, blah, and everyone's all a bit like, whoa, and then once everybody gets into the swing of it, and we're actually in front
of the couple, and the day settles down, then you're like, oh, actually, they're really nice. I literally did a wedding a few weeks ago, and the venue said to me, oh, Honestly, photographer is so demanding. And I was like, okay, cool. No worries.
And then actually like by the rest of the day, they were like, Oh no, he's actually really, really nice and really funny, but it was just because at the start, it's like learning each other's boundaries, like you never have a full set of suppliers that have worked together before. So I think you always learn in
So he's probably a nice guy, maybe he was just having a bad morning. But I said hello to him twice and he didn't say anything back. Which kind of, kind of rubbed me out the wrong way.
Maybe He was in his zone. But again, like, every, every supplier sees themselves as a priority. The photographer's like, I need to get the best shot. The florist is like, I need to do the best flowers. You know, when I'm doing catering, I'm like, I don't care. This is about the food like everybody's like got their own like,
In their own zone. In their lane. Everyone's in their
you know what I
and they'll, they're just going down their lane. They're like, get out of my lane if you're in my
and I and I fall into it when I'm catering manager when I'm planner, obviously I'm overseeing the whole thing So I don't fall into that but when I'm catering I'm like no I need to make this this I need to make this food and drink happen. Don't get in my way
It's happening right
Like no, you can't take stop and take photos of the canapés I need to get these bad boys out like
Yeah, there is no time.
it was there. Maybe reach out and just be like, hey!
Hey. Hey, asshole. No, I'm joking.
Also, check that you're getting credited as well. I had this because the other day when I'd done catering management and I saw some photos pop up because I knew a lot of the suppliers that were there. And I noticed they hadn't been tagged so I quickly screenshot it and sent it to the social media manager at the catering company and was like make sure that message them and get us credited. The best thing to do that I do is leave a comment like, Oh, it was so lovely to work on this wedding with
Oh,
And then they, and then, And then it, they're they're quickly tapping the three dots, like, edit, edit. Dear, oh dear. Well, I'm looking
Yeah, I know what you mean.
those photos. Very excited. Nice. Well, I'm glad you had a lovely week.
thank you. And how was your
Yeah, it was good. Yeah, I was freelancing again. It feels like the week of, couple of, last couple of weeks I've been freelancing
Tis the season to freelance.
to freelance, but in the next, before we record the next podcast, I will have done three weddings. So and they're all my own.
Oh, is this the weekend? Oh, is this one where you've got like a Friday, Saturday, Sunday or something? Or two on a
No, that's not me. That's someone else, love. No, I've got a Thursday, Saturday, Monday.
Okay,
so I've got gaps in between. Yeah, but yeah, I've got three weddings, but they're, and
not a friday.
they're all my own, so yeah, I'm sure I'll have lots of stories to tell you next week. But yeah, no, this one this one was a good, was a nice wedding. Couple of bits to take away from it. I'm not gonna lie, we've spoke about it before, but there was a, there was quite a few arsehole guests.
Oh, no. What? Any context
know when people are just, and do you know when the couple are so lovely
Yeah, and you're like, how do you even associate yourself with these arseholes?
I think it's just the drink. There was just quite a few people that had got too drunk too fast, basically. There was a lot of emotions. There was people crying by the main course, like, and the food was great. So it wasn't about the food. Yeah,
They're just crying, the food's
and then, yeah, literally, I don't want chicken! And then at the end of the night you know, there was, it's, it's just typical of weddings, like nine times out of ten the wedding is in the back end of nowhere. You tell people to pre order taxis. This, a lot of people from the local area said they know you need to pre book taxis because of the area. Um, we were announcing it on the DJ, the DJ announced it a couple of times throughout the night and yeah.
Get to the end of the night, taxis are cancelling, or, you know, people are, or they haven't booked them in time, and whatever, and people would just be arseholes about it, blaming her. Literally like, well, we won't book this venue again, it's terrible, and I'm like, it's not our fault that you haven't
not your
like,
Yeah, literally everyone always says pre book taxis on an invite or some way. I mean, isn't it common, like, sense to just pre book a taxi if you're going to a wedding?
literally this venue is in the middle of nowhere. And also, like, if the taxi's cancelled on you, like, it's not my fault. All I can do is give you a taxi number, but I was like, if I'm really honest with you at this time of night, You're gonna really struggle to book a taxi, so I would advise to like, if you can get a lift, or ask somebody else if you can hop in theirs, you know. Like, there's only so much that I can do.
You're not, you're not a magician. You can't, you can't magic up a taxi out of thin air if someone's not gone to the effort of pre booking one, which they
But this guy thought at 1 o'clock in the morning it was an appropriate time to tell me that my service is awful because I wouldn't drive, A couple back home.
Oh my goodness, of
was like
is actually disgusting. That is a one
I was like, mate, I've been at work since 9 o'clock yesterday morning. I'm not taking a 20 minute detour to drop somebody off. Absolutely not. And to be fair, the woman was like, no! Like, no, it's not her problem. Like, leave her alone kind of thing. Bless her, back her up. But I was like, nah. And do you know what I mean? That just happened. And it's a, it's a really good book. It's a really good book. So
Set the tone.
But yeah, no, um, really nice couple. The weather was beautiful I mean, the venue I was at is absolutely stunning anyway. And the only thing I would say is, where I think that they probably went a little bit wrong. I don't know, I think it worked well for them. It obviously worked well for them but I always think, guys, if you're gonna do a two course meal because you're trying to cut back on time or cost, do, especially if you're doing canapes, do main and dessert. They did
Yeah, I
start a main and then they didn't have a dessert and I
Oh, I think main and dessert. Were they sort of thinking, oh, the cake would be the dessert
No, they didn't have a wedding cake. So they told the caterers, so I wasn't, I was a venue manager for the, for the, for this freelance wedding. So I have many hats, me. But yeah, so the caterers, not,
That's one hat you won't wear.
not one hour away, no. Unless it's in my direction, then yes, I will help you out. Um, I've done it a few times in the past, but I ain't going out of the way, not at one o'clock in the morning,
Not these
Not, not at 1am. There's a certain time cut off period, you know. Yeah, anyway. So yeah, they had they didn't have a cake, but yeah, the caterers were saying that people were coming up to them and saying I haven't been served my dessert, and they were like, oh, sorry, there is no dessert. But the couple had said to the caterers, uh, excuse me,
Sorry! There is no sir.
there is no dessert. Don't blame us, blame the couple.
Your service is terrible.
You missed my dessert. That doesn't even, that isn't even a thing. So the couple had told the caterer that they had like a dessert station, but it was a sweet cart. So,
I'm sorry.
and stuff.
Like, pick a mix.
So it wasn't, so they were expecting like there to be like cookies and, you know, Donuts and
Here's a fried egg as your dessert.
I mean, I'm all, I'm all for a Friday, I'm not gonna lie. But what it did mean is that the, the Sweet Station got absolutely annihilated, which I suppose is that a pro? At least I suppose it got eaten, but I would say there was a lot of people that wouldn't have then eaten that kind of thing. I think it would've worked if they'd added like brownies and cookies and stuff. They could have probably gone to a local bakery and topped
this actually happened so a wedding I went to a couple years ago everyone, they didn't do canapes or anything, and then, like, there was a long wait between the end of the ceremony and then the meal, and they had, like, some cookies and, like, from Costco or something, and literally they just got
Yeah, that's the thing. But I suppose that is a bonus because it means that stuff goes. But I do think there was a lot of people that were, would have expected something. A lot of adults don't, maybe don't eat a pick and mix. I don't know. But anyway, they were, there was a lot of comments of.
I do
I mean, I love a pick and mix, yeah. But I also wouldn't say no to a little, like, brownie or cookie. I feel like you
but also would, I don't think I would class pick a mix as a dessert though.
exactly. That's what I mean. Yeah. And I need something sweet after my food. I don't know about
Yeah. No, I do. I've got
a necessity. Yeah, So Yeah. that was the one thing, the one thing that I did love that they did which is always a tip that I give to people to do is if you do want a group shot of all your guests, not my favorite photo, I'm not going to lie because I just think when you ever going to use it you can never, you never get a perfect shot because there's always someone looking away or someone blinking and also.
Like when you ever going to use it or look at it again, like, cause you can't zoom in to look at, you know, nanny Pat's face because you know, to, to get that bigger shot, it's a big old photo, you know, so, but if you want to do it, fine, lovely. So you've got a picture of everybody, but this couple did it. Like I say, I always recommend to do this just before you sit down for the meal. So you get everybody crowded together.
into this group shot, snap, take the photo, then get your MC to step forward and say, ladies and gentlemen, everybody now please take your seats in the wherever ballroom or whatever for the wedding breakfast. Everybody then just moves in at one and it's great and everybody just files in and you get them sat down in like record time. So that does always work well if you want to do that shot, but it's not a recommended photo from me if I'm honest. Did you do one?
No, we had a confetti shot where everyone lined up
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
we went down. So everyone was together because then I think I'd mentioned to the photographer that I'd like, then want everyone together after that. But then we actually decided
No, it's just
again, it takes a
That was probably me telling you, don't bother.
Yeah, don't bother. Don't do it.
no. It's a bit of an awkward photo. So, yeah.
Takes a long time to set up, doesn't it?
Yeah, it does. And like I say, you just never get a good shot from it. So what's the point, but some people want to do it and that's fine. That's fine. We'll do it, but that's a good moment to do it. Um, so yeah, I've also had a little, a little, I don't know if your class is viral, but I've had a
Oh! Oh! Please!
views.
That's
I know. Yeah. And I think I've got
really
2000 likes.
Wow!
know, about 500
haven't seen this video Out of 60, 000 people One of them is not me! Hehehehe
at the right things on TikTok is
been under a hole, under a hole, under a rock.
All that ever comes up is our videos from
Yeah, so.
podcast on mine.
don't really use TikTok other than Richard, like, he saves some and then goes through them and shows me them. Like, it tends to be funny ones and we have a little laugh together. It's like a little routine we do. Cringe. Couples. But yeah, what's your video
yes. So, um, which people are loving. And I knew it was always a good idea and I, and I have always loved it, but it was, and I probably spoke about this on here when we did the wedding, but it was a wedding back in June, and they had their wedding at the church, and then their they had their marquee at home in, in their, on their land, and there, it was a ten minute walk from the church to the marquee, and we basically hired, like, a walking jazz band, and they walked the guests.
So they basically waited at the end of the path from the church, the couple came out, confetti, confetti, confetti, met the band, they start trumpeting and Oh, when the saints go marching in, you know, that kind of vibe, marching all the way to the marquee. It was blooming brilliant. Everyone loved it. Yeah, so I put up a couple of videos for that and people are loving it. They're like, this is the best idea ever. And it? was really fun. I did get the odd comment like, oh Yeah.
great, until it starts raining. And I'm like, whatever.
Have you heard of an umbrella? Shut up. Yeah, shut up.
Well, that's why I actually did throw out some little suggestions there So yeah, I said the same the wet weather options that we had for that day Well, obviously we pre looked at it but was umbrellas or people because it was their local village People were happy for them to block the road with cars Anyway, so one of the things we'd said was for everybody to drive Park at the church and then the band would almost lead all the cars and people could just open their
Oh, that's cool.
you know? And then I've had the odd comment like, Oh, not a great idea for people in heels. And I'm like, obviously we let people know. Also their wedding was in a field. So nobody wore
so come on, have you, oh
But yeah, other than that, I'd say 80 percent has been quite positive comments.
positive,
Yeah, so think about, you know, use these times, you know, boring times like transport to make it a bit fun. Like in September, I've got a couple and we're going from the church to the venue. We've hired the big red Rootmaster buses, um, and they've got a mariachi band because he's Mexican. So they're
so cool. Oh my
it a bit fun. People like, just 'cause it's
Bumble e o,
mumba. Yeah. Love it. Um, but yeah,
no, no.
here she goes, she's off, she's off. I would say any times like that you don't, it doesn't need to just be boring. Like, oh, now we traveling to the venue. You can make those bits fun, you know? So, yeah. Oh
That is a good idea, love that. I do feel, however, like, how much more, like, more is becoming more again with weddings, isn't it? Like, more is more. Like, just throw all your money at it. If you've got the money to do it, to be fair, that's cool.
yeah, something like the band that they'd hired, they were going to hire for their drinks reception anyway, so all we
Yeah, so they've come
15 minutes
a bit
at the church. Like,
I just think that's a bit of a different idea though. Like, I've not, I've not heard of anyone else, anyone
It was cool.
Like, I
Yeah, it was really, really fun. really, fun. So yeah, So that was that. also, been doing a, we like to do a little bit of research for the podcast, you know, so i've been having a little little bit of research. Having a little goosy gander on the old I like, I like looking through reddit is one of my favorites and
Oh, I love
Yeah, and Facebook groups are honestly just both hilarious. But I stumbled across I was also having a little look on. And this isn't, wasn't even just for the podcast. So for my own wedding business, when I'm writing blogs and social media posts, I love using Answer the Public. So it's really good to see what kind of things people are Googling. It helps the old SEO. Sorry to bore you guys, but you know.
I'm like, oh sorry, I'm still here. Yeah.
honestly, the top questions that are asked in regards to wedding planning are, why is wedding planning so hard? Why is wedding planning so stressful? Why do I hate wedding planning? How do I survive wedding planning? And can wedding planning cause depression? They were the top five questions. I was like, Oh
That's a bit dark, isn't it?
is this actually how people feel about wedding planning? I'd love to hear from the viewers.
Yeah, I
googling? Is this gonna, you know, cause you depression?
that's awful to think that people see this is why you need a podcast like ours to just like lie in the mood, get the tips, let it be fun, you know,
to bring to the world, people.
bring that lightness
Bring, What is it Dumbledore says? when there is, Oh, something about when there is dark there is light
kill me if I tried to even guess because I don't
I mean, I love Harry Potter, I'm a big fan, but I just can't remember it right now. But yeah, um, when there is light there is dark, when there is dark there is light, whatever. We're trying to bring lightness. But it should be a light fun journey and I feel like if you are feeling like this, you really need to like
Something's obviously gone wrong or you're doing, maybe you're doing a bit too much yourself, like it's all on your shoulders if you're feeling that way, like you need to spread the load, I think is
Yeah.
the word. I feel like that's a good thing though. Like, if you've got a good support network around you, like your bridesmaids, like get them to do a few things. Your other half, like your husband or your wife to be, like, you know, let them take on a bit of that stress. Like, it doesn't all have to be I feel like, I feel like, if it's like Either, there's always, either the bride or the groom, one of you is always gonna be like, taking more control, and
Yeah. Course.
to do everything, and you don't wanna like, relinquish any of that control. But I feel like, actually, if it's making you feel that bad, then you probably should, like.
Yeah, and I also think, like, if you're quite, you know, again, it's like, and we've spoke about this many times, but strip it, stripping it back, because there's probably a lot, you know, I see so many people that are stressing because they've taken on so much themselves, like, oh, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do that, we're gonna make this, we're gonna make that, like, do you actually need all these things? Like, no, probably not. So, don't worry about it.
If you're getting glue stuck on your tooth, give up. You know? But yeah, I was shocked by this. Yeah, literally, don't. swallow that superglue. But yeah, it should be fun, it should be a fun journey, it should be a fun And I've seen like, people on Facebook groups, like, I genuinely cannot wait until it's over
And also, I feel like a lot of the people that feel that way potentially are doing a lot of stuff to please
people. yeah.
I feel like if you're a people pleaser,
Yeah, you're probably right.
It can be hard. So I am, I am a massive people pleaser. I got to the point where I was finding it tough because I was thinking about everybody else when actually it's just about you, like, should have just been about me and Richard. So I had to like take a step back and be like, you know, just have a little word for
Yeah, so true. And if people are seriously getting, like, this aggy with you, or causing this much upset, then they're not the kind of people that need to be in your life. And I truly believe that, whether that's friends or family. Like, if they're causing you that much upset, then not
Yeah. See you later.
Bye bye for now. So Yeah, my, uh, my research also took me to something very interesting that I needed to bring up to you. I was like, Hayley's gonna want to hear about this,
I've got to hear
this. is a quite, this is a bit of a long one, but here we go. I'm going to go for it. So this was a Reddit discussion thread post, don't know what you're talking about. Don't know, don't know what you call it, but this is a male posting about a female. So he said, So my fiancé and I have been engaged for about nine months. We've recently started discussing about planning the wedding.
I'll be honest, she's doing a great job in planning it out, setting the budget, arranging venue viewings, etc. She is doing the majority of the planning herself and as it's her big day, I'm just letting her choose what she wants. Like, of course.
Yeah, of
Well, yeah, we've recently gotten to the stage where we talk about color schemes for my suit accessories and the bridesmaids dresses. My favorite color is Cadbury's purple. It always has been. So I said, I want that. At first she just said okay, and we moved on. It then got to the point where she was suggesting different types of colours we could have. Lilac, peach, sageberry, green, baby blue. I said, I already told you I want Cadbury purple.
But she said that I can't have Cadbury purple because it doesn't go with anything. I said, I'm fine with her picking and choosing everything to do with the wedding, but the only input I want to add is what I will be wearing. She started to get into a strop saying that I'm making it difficult and asked if we could just compromise and I said that it wouldn't be compromising, it's just not the colour I want.
I said if I don't have Cadbury Purple, then I don't care what colour I have and she should just pick it herself and not pretend that I have a say in the wedding when I clearly don't. The main reason my fiancé isn't keen on the colour is because it doesn't go with the aesthetics of our venue. It's a beautiful modern rustic barn with fairy lights and bright atmosphere. She believes that the colour I choose will contrast too much with what she envisaged.
So am I the arsehole for wanting to stick to the only input I have in the wedding? No, first off
just, sorry. I've gotta jump in here.
Go on.
You are an arsehole just for liking Cadbury
Well, this was my response, so I thought, I don't, I rarely reply to a Reddit thread, but I had to, so I wrote. This was my response. Hi, I'm a wedding planner, and can I just say, dot dot dot, Cadbury Purple is the WORST, in capital letters, colour scheme. It literally screams 2010. Don't
Yes it does. Yes it does. Oh
To your other half, dot dot dot dot, if your partner refuses to steer away from Cadbury Purple, leave him.
That
much and he continued to you know go on about cabaret power than how he doesn't want his suit to be cabaret purple but he wants like the tie and the bridesmaids dresses to be cabaret purple and the flowers
just, oh.
and I had to bring it up
color? I just don't know. What?
honestly this
It literally does transport me back to 2010. Like I'm back there with the Calla lily bouquets and the gel
in the martini glasses. All the fish bowls.
a fishbowls with the
Yes!
Oh my god. Oh Jesus. Cadbury
The mirror plates.
Oh my god. Mirror plates. Ah,
fishbowl with the
sequin runner.
And bows on the chairs. A white chair covered with a
cabri
then, at some point around 2011 it transitioned to magenta pink. And I remember very clearly doing a wedding. that mixed the two up. It must have been
oh my god.
2010 2011, it must have been around December, and they had alternate Cadbury Purple and Magenta Pink sashes on their chairs. I
that's insane.
Pink and Purple. But yeah, I thought that's a bit of a blast from the past, isn't it? Cadbury Purple. And this was an, a re this was an old, this was recent, this was like a week old post. Or not it was like a 24 hour old post.
wow. No.
you think bridesmaid dresses even come in that colour anymore?
They must do.
What do you think?
There's gotta be people out there
Well, yeah, this guy. is
I mean, there's gotta be people that like it. I just can't imagine being like, my favourite colour's Cadbury Purple. Like, I love Cadbury, don't get me wrong, but
Some people used to go that far though, they used to get like, you know the, you know the purple one, the the chocolate out of the, is it the
Yeah, you don't,
And they would have like, buy one of them per person and have it on the place setting. Oh my god, and I've just remembered as well the top top table swag With the bow in the With the with like the the Cadbury purple taffeta.
Taffeta. Oh my god. I feel like I actually might be having an allergic reaction to the thought of Cadbury Purple right now. It's just so awful. It's a heinous crime to be putting that colour anywhere near a wedding this day and
And you know, I was about to say I'm really sorry Hair, but I'm really not. And where is people getting these ideas? Because if you go on Pinterest nowadays, let's face it, 90 percent of couples do. There's no you type in
nothing there's going, nothing's coming up cabaret purple. Trust me on that one. I just, I feel like, I can't even imagine it done in a classy way. I just, I'm not a big fan of purple anyway, really. Not, not, not because of the reason that it was such a, like,
Yeah. I don't mind like a deep mulberry or like a lilac. I used to
I like
plum. Yeah.
Plum is different. Plum is, Plum is a mixture between Burgundy and Purple. So it's like a nice, it's, it's, it's not like, like Cadbury Purple. Like there's a particular, there's a particular Lysianthus variety that comes in that Purple and I just can't stand it. Yeah.
them all off.
Yeah.
Literally. Well, let's face it, right? In the nicest possible way, we all love a bit of Cadbury. We all love a bit of Cadbury,
Oh my God. Don't we?
But it's called Cadbury Purple because that is the Cadbury's colour, right? And let's face it, in the market, Cadbury's is budget chocolate. Isn't it? It is! So if
favourite colour is budget Cadbury
if you want your wedding to look budget then go for the Cadbury purple. But let's face it, it's gonna look like you just said. It's not gonna look you can't make it look classy because it is a budget color. Cadbury's is budget chocolate, you know? Cadbury's ain't made to be expensive. Cadbury's is made to be in the corner shop and be sold to anybody, right? And it's amazing. Don't get me wrong.
It is. Oh my god, I love a
And I like their branding.
you want What you want to aim for is a bit of Ferrero Rocher gold.
Yeah, maybe not a
Ferrero
I do like a champagne gold wedding, actually. I used to want champagne gold, like, you know, the bridesmaids when they're in that pale, like, champagne y colour. I like that. And then all white decor with a little bit of, like, your gold touches, like your cutlery and your gold rimmed glasses. Nice. I'm all up for that. Anyway, totally diverted. Yeah, a bit of Frère Rocher or a bit of, you know, maybe not. Lindor.
Red. What else is a fancy chocolate?
like your, your organic ones are my favourite. Green and Blacks. Oh. love
and Blacks. Yeah.
Oh, can't
Oh, I'll tell you what I love. Oh, Gillian Seashells. They're
yeah, elite.
like, Oh, they're a good one.
Just go into Belgium and go and run the chocolate shots and you pay like 30 for a piece of chocolate, but it's incredible. Yeah. That's what we're aiming for here, guys. But on a, on a cheaper, but pay, you know, cheaper price, we can get that. But please avoid the Cadbury Powerpall.
Please do. Yeah, this guy, he's clearly mistaken or he's lost his way
Yeah, and I think it's gonna
yeah, sorry. Also, like, if he wants to, like, give control to her completely, cause he's just, he starts by saying, Oh, she's, she's doing, she's doing it herself, basically. And you know, I've just let her do it. But then, then you want to come in and say something like, I want Cadbury Purple. Well, this. That's probably why she's the one planning your wedding, I'm sorry
I would like and do you know what? The colors that she's saying sound, you know, she obviously wants that like neutral tones, doesn't
I was gonna say, the colours she's thrown out there are, Pinterest, she's been on Pinterest mate. That's what she's been on. She's, she's not been down the corner shop looking for the old Cavalry Dairy
And I think the issue with these colours is, you know, like you say, your paler colours and your, you know, your more neutral tones and your greens and things like that, they are, they are timeless. And I know a lot of people hate the word timeless, but I do think it's true that you don't want to look back at your wedding in ten years. Like, if we look at a Cadbury Purple wedding now, we go, oof, that's 2010.
you know, you've been transported
yeah, that's why I'm not a big
it should stay.
It's like the big bows and stuff on dresses and they're like, yeah, they look lovely right
Yeah, but not in, yeah. Yeah. I don't think they'll
that is what I really try to do through my wedding was be like, right, is this going to, because
Is this gonna look good in
yeah, you know, you don't want to look back? and, and, and actually, um, auntie who, was one of our celebrants for the wedding. She showed me a picture of, of her wedding and said to me, Oh, I think it was the bridesmaid's dress. She said, Oh, they were similar color or something. I can't remember what it was now. And I was like, Oh my God, they look, they still look so nice. Like they were timeless pictures because they, what she had then would still look lovely now. Um, yeah.
So I think you do need to think about things like Cadbury's purple, not the one to
Not gonna be timeless, no.
But anyway, should we move on to the listeners questions?
So the first one I've got here, so Home or small wedding etiquette. If you have a DIY deal wedding, should your guests help to set up and deconstruct?
she means like, at the venue it's DIY and they've got to do everything themselves. So, yeah. I don't know about you, but I'm not opposed to this, like, but the only thing that I would really, really flag Is that I think people get in their heads like, Oh my god, this is gonna be really fun, we're gonna spend the day together, and we're gonna set it up. And I'm gonna be really honest, and it happened to me on my wedding, it never goes that way.
You always end up in a situation where something happens that you're not expecting. So I would say to always make sure you got, like, I had a professional there to help. So at the point when I needed to go, I could be like, I could leave them to it.
to sort, sort the things out that you
because it is quite stressful the day before and you have all these extra emotions and it's not even just setting up you want to be like steaming your dress and all
Well, like you say, it's not as, it's not quite as like chill as you think it's gonna be, is it? Like, it's just, it's not, it's actually quite stressful, like, if you DIY'd everything. I do feel like I feel like you should probably I, I don't, wouldn't mind, like, helping set up and, and, like, pack stuff away, but I feel like you should definitely, like, give your, your friends or your guests, if, you know, If they're gonna do that, like, a heads up,
Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah. You've got to. arrange it. Yeah. And I would, and I would set yourselves a time. Cause again, I think however much you could say to yourself, okay, it's going to take us an hour to do this, an hour to do that. It's going to take longer. And also if you get all your bridesmaids and parents and stuff together the day before and go and set up, they're all going to be chatting. They're all going to be catching up.
You're gonna be stressed and be like, and also, I think it depends what kind of person you are because actually, I didn't ask anyone to come and help me because I knew that I'd want things done a certain way and like I knew you and Chloe were setting up You know how I like things so I'd rather leave you to then have people come in and then start doing things and i'm like Oh, no, don't want it like that and then
don't do that. Yeah,
and you know Do you know what I mean? So, I think, yeah, lovely, if you like the idea of having everybody involved but have, like, a planner or a coordinator there. Because if you're DIYing your wedding anyway, you need a coordinator on the day. So if the venue aren't offering one, you need to hire one and just have them alongside to do Also, there's a lot of shit jobs that you might not want to do.
You know, like, say you're doing your own flowers, like, filling up with the water and things like that. Do you know what I mean? Like,
like there's there's some things that I just feel like that There's actually a lot more to do than you think as well like if you're DIY and everything they say it takes a long time and I Mean, I've been to a wedding like where they got their friends and stuff to pretty much do everything
Yeah.
how far do you go? I mean
every time I've seen this, even when I worked in venue and they're like, yeah, we're all going to come and set up. It's always turns into a stress. And like I say, things you don't think of like ironing the tablecloth. So do you want to be ironing? Ten tablecloths on the deck. No, and you probably won't think of that and then you'll get there and then you'll be like Oh my god, what? Because that's a chore, isn't it?
Yeah,
out place cards But I'd maybe have someone to do everything else and then if you want to then if you've done your own You know table centers or your own place cards you
stuff, the fun bits, the fun laid back stuff that I can understand, like getting your
Yeah, I wouldn't be putting out, especially if going backwards, your caterer is said, because I've had this lately where people have gone, Oh no, my caterer wanted to charge extra to lay up. So we're going to lay up. And I'm like, people don't realize how time consuming it is, how boring it is and how to get it nice. And you need like people in that know how to lay out properly and like polishing glasses and stuff. Do you want to be doing that? The table. No, absolutely not.
And then, I don't know what your thoughts are, but on the deconstruct, absolutely not, you're going to be hanging. Who wants to do that? No, absolutely
There's nothing worse. Is there
Literally, we're actually hired, At a wedding in September. They've hired us for the day management and they've booked for us to do set up and deconstruct. And I don't, like, honestly don't blame them because imagine that, like, and I will tell you now, especially if you're in a DIY venue where it's like, you've got it from Friday to Sunday and you need to leave it as you found it, like people are messy, like it's a big
alcohol, as soon as there's alcohol involved, people don't care what they're doing, they'll be, they'll be like disgraced for like, making such a
literally, literally, especially if you've got kids and there's food on the floor. Oh God, like absolutely not. Make sure.
spending the day after your wedding like, cleaning, I mean, obviously people do it, and that's fine, but like, like I say, if you've not, I just feel like it's not the thing you're going to want to be doing with your mates the next day.
No, it's really, really not.
You might as well just hire someone to come in and do it, I
at our wedding, I mean, you came and cleared down all the flowers and everything, and then we had to move some furniture back. Because again, it was like, leave it as you found it, but we literally got all our family back for breakfast, and we're like, right, if everybody carries one chair, which we did, we did it in ten minutes, So it's fine.
So
Yeah, and then my mum gave it a hoove around. But other than that, because we didn't have a lot of stuff, it was actually fine. so we didn't have a lot to do. But I think if you know you've got loads of stuff, so it depends how strict they are, I suppose. If they're gonna have cleaners come in, if they want you to clean the floor and stuff, then, yeah.
Can you imagine getting your like friends to like mop the floor the
step, nah, my friends would be like, get lost.
alright, fuck yeah.
I'm not doing any of this. Like,
See you later.
not. Yeah. especially if you're going on honeymoon or something. Like, you just want to enjoy it. You want to chill. Like, you don't want to be, no. I would say, get into professionals, do some bits and bobs around it, take your bridesmaids down, have a little wander around, see if you can, like, pitch in and help out. But, yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't completely plan to do everything yourself if you're a DIY.
No, I agree.
Cool, so next one we've got, What time should I tell people to order taxis for if the bar is closed and music is off at 11. 30pm? What time did you do yours
Hmm. So, I think, yeah. So, I'm pretty sure. So, we had music off at half eleven and I think I said to order taxis for like, for then. Half eleven.
you wouldn't have done because I would have told you
Would I? Would it have been eleven?
Might have been. So I always say, 15 minutes, absolute minimum, half an hour. Maximum because by the time the music and stuff go the music goes off the bar closes Normally you do last orders and then the bar closes Yeah, similar times in music, maybe a bit after. And then everyone wants to say bye to you. And getting drunk people out of the room. We actually had this situation on Saturday. The music was due to finish at midnight.
We actually finished at ten to in the end because I was just like, It's not gonna happen, like literally people are sticking, and still by ten past midnight people were still, and I think this was half the issue. People were still stuck around. They were still trying to sleep. Speak to the bride and groom, and then half their taxis. There was no signal in the venue, so taxis couldn't get through to them. They're pissed out of their heads, don't know what the time is.
So by the time they've wandered out, their taxi's gone. They're like, nah, ain't waiting around. So people, you need to give people at least, I would say, 20 minutes, half an hour to sort themselves out, get
them
Yeah, I would say Yeah, because you don't really want to put 11. 50. I would say between 11. 45 and midnight, and then people can decide.
Make that decision.
Yeah. That's, that's what I would do. Give them 15, but don't do, that really irritates me when venues do that, when I do a venue management and I go in and I'm like, what is this? Like, you don't book the taxis the same time the music goes off, because what, they, you literally think the music's going to go off and then they're going to be like, Bye! And then literally leg outside to the taxi. Like, absolutely not. Especially if
They're like, I want my goodie bag.
Yeah, like, what if there's a walk between like where the,
Oh, like the entrance and
yeah. normally there's a little bit of a distance and when people are drunk they want to go to the toilet
as well, doesn't
yeah Like no,
like in the middle of nowhere place and stuff like that. I suppose you need to allow for the fact that it might take them a minute to find you. Like,
exactly Yeah, people have got to get their coats. I'm gonna go, you know, say bye. It's not even saying bye to you It's saying bye to each other. You know what people are like. I'm one of those people. I go and say it drives Martin insane. I have to go and say bye to everybody and they're like, he's like basically we're leaving in half an hour So you go and start saying bye to people now You Because, yeah, I yeah. Just, just humans, isn't it? Human nature. So yeah, no, definitely don't.
But yeah, and again, like, some venues will be like, Oh, music, you have to be off site at midnight. Music can go off at midnight. And you're like, no, you need to like, give it a, a, give a gap. Like, just because, and I say to couples, I know you're allowed to do music until midnight, but I wouldn't because, yeah, you want to just
You want, you've got that time for them to say goodbye and, yeah.
But Yeah. that's us for this week.
Perfect. Well, thanks for listening guys. You know, you can catch us on socials is at let's get you a podcast and you can send your questions into us. It's let's get you a podcast at gmail. com. We love to hear all of your questions. Am I the assholes? Anything you've seen that's funny or interesting this week that you want to want us to want us to discuss and send it
Yeah.
love to hear from you.
Thanks guys.
Thanks for listening. Bye.