The biggest mistakes wedding guests HATE!

Hello, listeners.

how are we all? This is weird, isn't it? Because this is our first record of 2025, but it's not our first episode of

that's it. We are.

2025

Welcome. Welcome. We're no longer in the gooch of Christmas and New Year.

we're not. Hey, have you got used to saying 2025

No, you know, normally it gets like a few months in and I'm like, now I'm into it.

Yeah, I've not been too bad. I know that we're in 2025. Mine's that I keep saying, I don't, I'm not saying like, oh

This year.

last

I see. Yeah. So I keep going on next year. I'm doing this. And I'm like, oh, wait, no, we are. It's January.

Yeah. Yeah We are in

Yeah.

and it's already going very fast.

is. It is. It's busy, it's busy already.

busy busy Shall we get started?

it.

Hi, I'm Hannah.

Hayley.

And we are your wedding planning experts.

Here to spill the tea on the inside of wedding planning and everything that goes with it.

Expect our honest opinions, the real juice on what happens on a wedding

With a few tips thrown in between.

and also just a chat between friends.

course, make sure you hit that subscribe button. And let's get you wed! Woo! Oh, I'm still, like, remembering standing up at your wedding and doing that.

Oh,

It, it was so, it was cute, but it also sends me into despair of cringe. Ha! Ha!

She's, I've moved her bed

Oh.

And

Oh,

literally chills now in front of the radiator all day.

bless her.

front of the radiator, like,

I'm actually right next to the radiator as well.

so cold

It's freezing! We've got a real cold weather front here in the UK at the moment and it's

do.

it's not great. The whole, the whole country's gone into like panic as well.

Have they? I've missed this.

Wow, I suppose I've been, so I've been up north, just I've come back from holiday and I've been, I've been further up north.

have! How

It was,

up

it was freezing cold, yeah, and we had snow, lots of snow, and yeah, it was, it was amazing, it was lovely, it was just very cold, and we were staying in like, a really old like, stone lodge it was like a bungalow, so,

yeah.

But it was like those really thick stone walls, so there was like, you know, Not a lot of insulation. Well, I suppose you'd think so being thick stone, but it was free. It was just cold. It was really cold.

open fire

Yeah, there was like a wood burner and

she had that

so we had that going and there was a hot tub as well, which was incredible.

yeah, kept warm in

We did. I was like, stay in here. We

the hot tub?

didn't put Lily in the hot tub actually, because it was quite you know, sometimes like you get quite a lot of chlorine in them, whatever they used to, you know,

think that

Yeah, so I was a bit like, do you know what, because it actually turned so Richard's got like his wedding rings, it's not completely silver, it's got like, where they've reacted it with something, so it's dark in places, it's how the ring's meant to be but he was like, oh my god, my ring's gone a funny colour, I was like, what the hell, and he was like, oh, it's the, like, chlorine's reacted with it.

had that in a hot

Yeah,

where it literally like, makes it really

so luckily it started to go back to normal, but one of my rings has like completely gone black And I'm gonna have to go and get it silver dipped. I'll get some silver dip or something But but after that I was like, oh no, let's not put her in it because it's obviously quite strong I don't know how we've got any skin left.

Well, it's also the temperature, they're like 40

Yeah this Yeah,

her,

actually, it was 37, which is the optimum temperature for Lily's bath, so

it?

we have a little bath temperature thing that she has to, we have to, like, check every time we put her in, and it's meant to be between 68 68? I'm not gonna boil her like a lobster!

Maybe

Oh my god, between 37 and, 36 and 38 I think it's meant to be. Anyway, so it was 37 so it was actually fine. But yeah, chlorine not, not okay hun. But,

You know, like, in yourself, don't you? Like, I get

yeah,

tub and it makes my skin itch.

yeah,

for her,

probably not, not the best. But, but yeah, no, it was incredible though. We did some lovely walks. We went on some,

Yeah, look,

yeah,

footage looked

It was really nice. We had Lily in a backpack. It's one of these like little

I saw

backpack things.

It's like a little backpack chair.

Yeah, so she was just sat in that. I know.

for my,

I was like, Rishi, is there room for one more? Yeah, it was, it was lovely though. The scenery was incredible. So

so

yeah, it wasn't, it was amazing. Had a great time. But back to, back to work, back to normality now. It feels like I never went away. Because I've come back and I've got a lot of funeral work and a wedding at the weekend as well. So it's very busy.

got both this week.

Both this week, so it's been a bit of a nightmare trying to get flowers Any, any florists out there will understand the pain that is trying to order flowers after New Year

Oh,

Or any bank holiday. In fact, it's just a nightmare and then trying to get them in open in time This is the other thing that we have to contend with as florists It's okay being able to order stuff, but then you need to get it in to get it open and it's been

Oh,

my like

they won't

con heaters on, it's like, they're like, no, I ain't opening.

Do you have to like, is it where you turn them upside down and go like this or something?

You can't do that with roses to get them to open up. They just be careful not to damage the petals, but yeah, you can do, but to actually, like, if they come in there really tight, even doing that, isn't going to help.

right.

in like a, like a, Basically like your living room is a perfect space to get like a rose to open up nicely somewhere in the light

Yeah.

And in a warm

In the

In the light the spotlight But yeah, so but is this okay we've got there I've made some lovely work I'm pleased with what I've turned out for to say so myself

funeral?

funerals tomorrow

Ah,

very early delivery. So I've got to be at my workshop, court seven, load up, because I can't, can't take it back with me

But you're

in the van.

Everything's

Everything's done. Yeah, so just loading up in the morning delivering it and then

do you prep the wedding?

wedding I will be working on Friday

Yeah.

So that'll be all day friday working on that and then i've got some gorgeous colors. It's all like jewel tones

ask you

Yeah

Jewel

Yeah, so

I'm

really nice. So it's like plums burgundies and like a real deep cerise

Nice.

the ribbons came today She's having like trails of ribbons long trails and they're all in those three colors and they just look Like, chef's kiss, they're really nice. So

put loads of stuff on

I will, I will. Yeah, so, looking forward to that one. But yeah, so that's been my sort of week, and a bit. What about you? What have you been up to?

Yeah, it's been pretty

Yeah,

So, year, everyone's like, Whoa, it's my wedding this year! So, yeah, new inquiries, working with

yeah

we've got booked in for this year. I've got one of my couples coming back from, they're coming from America next weekend, so we're doing all their taste ins, and hair and makeup trials, and all those kind of bits, so it's like, trying to, honestly, like, map everything out, because like, Obviously, just because pe wedding suppliers cater to an area and heromegabias and stuff doesn't mean that they're necessarily based in that

yeah.

So, trying to work out, like, the route of where they've got to drive from and to, because especially like heromegabias, there's actually a good point to raise is that you should always check when you're doing the enquiries where they're based to do the trial.

Oh, I see, yeah,

because a lot of them are based outskirts of London, so you need to check, like, where you need to go. Some do come to

yeah.

don't. So yeah, that's that's quite a, quite a big task to make sure. And they're literally back for four days.

So, that's interesting, so you're actually organizing all of this for them? Yeah,

do all

yeah, so that's actually that's quite interesting to know, I think. Because I don't think people would have expected that. I guess you do that, that side of things.

book in all the, any

Yeah.

and stuff. Yeah, we do all that. So yes, but they're, they're having two wedding days and they're only back, this is the last time they're back now before the wedding, so they obviously want to try two of each cuisine because if they don't like one then they need to pick the other. So we're doing four tastings in four days.

Bloody hell.

So it's quite a

cuisine are they trying?

Indian and then

Okay. Interesting. Nice.

It's quite a lot. Because normally, my couples will, they'll say, say you give them four caterers, they'll shortlist to one, they'll try that. It's very rare that they

That they don't, yeah.

But,

But it happens. Cool.

no other time they can come back and do it. So It's all a bit last minute, I'm not gonna lie, but there we go. I also had a site visit, literally on the day after, so, day after New Year's Day, 2nd of Jan, went to London, did a site visit, which was nuts because to me, it's my normal working day. The trains were acting like they were a Sunday service, it was full of tourists, then

it annoying?

of people, oh my

That's the time when you like hate bank holiday. It's really nice when you're off and you have no work to do It's like yeah, great. You don't care but when you actually need to go and do something,

it's

it's a freaking nightmare Yeah Yeah,

People just don't know how to use the tube properly. They're standing all over the escalator and you're like, I'm trying to walk. Yeah. But yeah, that was good. Yeah. So part of our on the day management package, we offer a site visit before your wedding. So we went into that and it was, I think it was really helpful for them because they weren't sure about like set up and where they want the tables and. What flowers they need, like even know the amounts of flowers.

it's become popular She will Yeah,

to have from their florist. I mean, a florist will always tell you anyway, but thought it was good to, they might do. I thought it was good to advise. I normally say about six by far. I say one per meter. One per foot, sorry. you agree?

one or two yeah, yeah

Yeah. And then I said three candles, three taper candles.

I mean, yeah, I think more is always more when you're having, it depends on what they want, but I just feel candles more is more. So, I would probably double their candles, but.

turning up too much space because we've got to put

Got loads to go out.

out, we've

Yeah

we've got to put,

See, this is good because this is like this is it's good to get a light from both sides Like from my point of view, I'd be like more more bud vases different heights and more candles because it just looks incredible But then from your point of view, you've got to get everything else on the table and lay it everything

So I think six

So we

a

we meet in the middle here

Yeah, good size bud fire, so not like one, two stems,

so I prefer them when you have like a tall and a short together with like less stems Maybe than a bunch, but I mean anything goes these days whatever floats your boat.

That's kind of what I've been up to. I also, we didn't talk about in our last episode. Which we did record after Christmas, the Gavin and

I know

last ever episode,

the hell?

and we got not one but

Two weddings two weddings spoiler alert anyone's listening and you've not watched it

bugger.

well

guys. I'm sorry, but if you haven't heard about

If you've not watched it, no, you've got a problem.

Yeah, but I thought that was quite interesting actually, because we've spoke about this a

Yeah.

the second wedding was very much what we've said about, you know, people that are doing, that they're popping down the registry office, getting married, doing a little party in the pub or whatever

Yeah.

just making it a very

Real cash.

having a bigger party

That's it.

we don't know if they then

No. Yeah.

both

They probably did.

I know them both, but they're

friends.

that they wouldn't do that, but yeah. Very chilled,

Yeah, I liked it. It was nice.

down the local pub afterwards.

It was very much, it was very them, wasn't it?

it

I liked it. I loved it.

wedding.

Yeah, that was, I don't know what era that was from though.

I

It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't 2024. Anyway, whoever designed that is not okay, hun.

It's interesting though you say that right because I spotted something because obviously whoever's producing whatever directing I don't, I don't know, I don't really know how it works in the TV world, but I'm

I'm not in that world.

Well, I suppose they would have had to have specialist wedding professionals to come and do the flowers and stuff for the set

Yeah.

I'm guessing they haven't got people that, you know, are advising. IE planners or coordinators to say, this is how you do things. So anyway,

anyway, I'm here with my tips.

I spotted a little flaw in that. And I don't know if you noticed this, but I noticed it instantaneously. And I spoke to a few people about it and they've said the same. But when walked down the aisle, her

Oh, I didn't. Do you know what? I didn't even know there was a side.

Wow.

Oh. Oh

a little video. The abuse I've had.

my god, really? Oh no, that's awful.

Yeah, so this it reached 15, 000 people, so pretty

Blimey. That's not bad.

honestly it was at the point where on the comments TikTok were like we've hidden some of the comments because people were

What?

bore off, get a life,

No!

is

You're joking

who cares? Like the amount

Wow!

had 20 comments saying who cares, I was

Sorry, it's not funny, it's harsh, but it's like,

was literally replying, copying and pasting, saying, well, because there was also a lot of comments where people were like, oh yeah, didn't think of this, and people saving it and

yeah.

So I was like, well, the people that care are the people

aimed this at?

yeah, that are getting married. Because also, What I thought about afterwards was one of the biggest things I get on the day is the panic from the bride that's like, side should my dad

Yeah.

they, they actually don't

I wouldn't know.

until that minute that they actually think about it because it's not something that you think about it, but you're not sitting there now people are planning their weddings thinking, what side does my dad stand on? Whoever's giving you away, I'm just saying dad, but it could be anybody. But I was like, actually, this is a good tip. So yeah, the way it works is the bride walks down the aisle with her dad. So say you're looking at her walking down, he'd be on her

Yep.

get to the top of the aisle, it goes groom, then bride, then dad.

Yeah.

it's, I mean, again, like you can do what the hell you want. If you don't want to do it like that, don't do it like that. But it, it was literally how I proved it by showing the video of Gavin's stage. You have to go and have a look on TikTok,

I'm gonna have to now.

dad then has to walk. Around the back of her and then round her to get to his chair and it just looks a bit messy and I'm like if you've got having your photos and you get to the top of the Aisle that first reaction of the bride and groom together. It's easy for a photographer if dad's on her other side To kind of crop

Cut him out. I know what

Not cut him out.

you mean, yeah.

that first reaction of you two and also it is just standard wedding etiquette. That is just the dumb thing.

That's how it's been done all these years.

Well, because somebody did ask me, Oh, well, but what about you know, him giving you away? Is there not something that he has to do? Yes, there is, but it's not straight away. The, the, this, the church I mean, this is talking churches. Registry office, or a registrar, it's not a thing unless you want it to be. So, almost he wants to be on the other side of the bar, because otherwise he's just stood in the middle of them.

Yeah, it's like, I know.

if you get to the top of the island, it's groom, then dad,

Yeah.

He's just stood in the middle of you. It's very weird. Do you know what I mean? It's just a bit

Yeah, I understand what you're saying, yeah. Totally.

for then if he's gotta give you a way, he's gotta

It makes sense.

to come

Yeah.

weird. Whereas on the other side, he can stand off to the side a bit.

It makes sense, doesn't it?

That was the reason for my top tip, but TikTok,

Some people didn't appreciate it. Also, yeah,

down. Like, if you don't care about it, scroll

jokes on you if you've watched the whole video and you didn't care. And then you had to write a comment saying I don't care. Yeah.

is the thing! People, because they've just, obviously, people of TikTok, I'm gonna use a pull in to get you to watch it. I'm gonna say the big mistake that Gavin and Stacey made, because that's what I put on the cover, but watch the whole video before you actually make a judgment, because clearly you

Who cares?

Yeah, that's what they've done. They've seen the cover, they've gone, Oh,

Oh.

a big

Oh.

a show, it's a show, people kept saying. Like,

It's a show.

I'm not, I'm not talking about the show. I'm telling people a tip for their wedding.

a wedding planner, so that'll be something that a bride or a groom will ask you. What side should my dad go on? Or whoever's walking you down the aisle. Well, I'm glad you got that off your chest. That's good.

that was my week. Ha ha

seen something interesting here. So, EastEnders did the first lesbian wedding on BBC Soap.

I was shocked when

The fir Really? I can't believe that.

I had to really think about, it is a BBC soap, but I had to really sit there and think. What other lesbian weddings have I seen on TV?

I honestly am sat thinking the same.

Apparently Friends was like one of the first,

Really?

places to do a lesbian, like, first ever things on screen to do a lesbian wedding.

I'm gonna

actually can't think of any, can you?

So this one comes as a surprise. In 2005, The Simpsons did one. There's something about marrying. And Patty and her fiancé, Veronica. Yeah.

when I looked, because then there was like a whole link of lesbian weddings that have happened. But

Oh

Simpsons.

course! I can't believe I forgot! Grey's Anatomy!

Oh, I never

Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?

No, never. No.

Have you not?

it. I did see

Yeah.

link to like, all the different places where there's been a lesbian wedding. But there weren't many. And I don't actually think I've ever seen one in a To be fair, I watched a soap in years. But, yeah. I thought that was quite interesting. Although apparently it didn't end I don't watch EastEnders, but apparently it didn't end very well. It

Oh, oh God. Doesn't surprise me.

Yeah, no.

Oh, that's interesting though. The first BBC one, actually, to be honest with you, they need to get with the times. Well, I mean, they have now, but,

don't they? Yeah.

oh dear.

Yeah, so, we wanted to talk this week a little bit about, we've done a little, we've done some little research,

We have, we have indeed. And we, we basically put out the question. We wanted to know as a guest, what would be. The top thing that would really bug you or annoy you when you're at a wedding so basically mistakes that couples make,

you

yeah,

When

make you annoyed and make you not enjoy the wedding. stuff that you would then be sat in the car on the way home with your other half, saying, oh what a load of bullshit, this annoyed me, you know? Those things, oh this was so annoying, you know?

Yeah, I wouldn't do that at my

Yeah.

Because not everybody has been to a wedding. Quite a lot of my couples actually come to me and say, right, this is something we experienced at a wedding, we don't want to do

Yeah.

to avoid this. But some, not everyone's been to a

No. Dude.

be that you've been to very good weddings that you've, or you've just been too drunk to notice.

so if you're a couple and you're getting married and you don't have that, you know, foresight, insight,

Yeah.

then we've got it for you here today. We have. So, do you want to start? What did everyone say?

Yes, so first up we've got waiting around whilst hungry.

man,

we've spoken

yeah.

hangry is

isn't it? I find that so, I've been to weddings where I've been like starving, I've literally eaten their like donut wall or something while I was waiting around.

Yeah, the timings are weird, aren't they, sometimes? Because if you, like, leave in early for a wedding, to get, say, the ceremony's at 1, you've got to be there at half 12, you might have had breakfast, and then if you're not sitting down until like 4 or 5 o'clock, like, that's a long old

Yeah,

it?

that is, it is and there's nothing worse as well when you, there's like no food and you're just waiting and also I have been to a wedding before where they gave you like a drink and the bar wasn't open and we all had to just wait in this one area for like an hour and a half and you couldn't even get a drink unless you walked into like You had to walk quite far, basically, to go and get a drink from, like, the main hotel.

you

So it wasn't like, and then you were just randomly with other people.

Actually, I went to a wedding like that before. Yeah, you only got one drink, and then you had to buy it from the bar, but the bar was in, like, their main

Yeah, that's it.

the hotel, and you're like, well,

Yeah.

more

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Yeah, either rethink your timings or provide some

Yeah, definitely. Next up is long speeches.

yeah.

we've spoke about this many times, but basically, what would you say is the optimum time length for a speech?

think three to five

Yeah, I would agree.

don't sound long, but if you stood there and spoke for three to five

Yeah,

long. What do you reckon mine were? Because I did, like, my speech was fairly, like, I think mine was, like, over a page.

like yours were nice. Yours were nice. They were good. They were a good length.

only up there for a few

Yeah, I didn't think you were very long. You definitely weren't up to five minutes anyway. I'd say it was Yeah.

like, getting up, getting down, whatever, we, I think it was about 20

Yeah, that's not, that's perfect.

So

Yeah. Yeah, and they were entertaining, so, There's nothing worse than a long speech when it's boring. And like,

remember yours, I'm not gonna lie. I think I was eaten Speeches were on.

Nice.

I was a staff member on Hayley's wedding

You, You are the scum. I'm joking. The old back of house.

I was, I was back at house. We got treated well though, to be

Good. Good.

the food.

Oh.

Next up we've got Crap Entertainment.

Ah.

DJs,

when that happens. I love you. Oh my

and it lies in the next song as to what the, if he's the DJ, and then it's, and they

Oh, they're

Oh, and actually, it's on the Gavin and Stacey wedding when he keeps calling her Tracy instead of Stacey. I think that is funny. Oh dear.

it ties in nicely with someone else's said, DJ's so loud you can't talk with anybody.

I think that's a good

Yeah.

actually, I do think it's nice when looking at, again, I think it's really hard when you first go and view a wedding venue. Because you don't think of things like

No.

And actually, looking at, is it one space? So like, for example, if you've got a marquee, you're probably going to have one space and that's it. But actually it is quite nice if you've got a separate area of like if, if you're doing a marquee wedding, it's, it's very common, but you can get like these little like cool outdoor, like teepee area bits

that's cool.

sit,

like a quiet space.

Yeah. Like, yeah. And it doesn't need to be silent. You know,

still hear the music, but just like a, like a snuggle or something like that. Just so you can like, just like have a bit of a chat, because not everyone wants to be up dancing. And

No,

you just want to have a drink with a few people and just catch up and chat and whatever. So it's a bit more chill.

Yeah, definitely. I'm, I'm, I'm all for that one. We've also got poor evening food buffet selection, like evening food in general. Buffets

yeah. Oh, woah, woah, woah, woah.

no, she

Oh my, love a buffet.

no, I take that back because I love a buffet, but

Haha,

a wedding, I think you want something a bit more substantial nowadays, you know, like your bacon

Yeah, you need like a, yeah, like pizzas and stuff like, things like that, I think.

there's fun nowadays, the

There's so much selection, I feel like if you just roll out a few sandwiches now you're, you're just, what's your problem?

Yeah, do you know what I mean? Like, no.

you can hire a pizza van to come and do like,

like,

proper hand stretched pizza. Yeah, totally.

than a classic, I like a MyBuffet, but like,

I like a beige buffet.

I don't want any sandwiches on my buffet. I don't, I've never been a sandwich on buffet person. I don't

you're,

It's weird.

you won't like Lilly's Buffet then.

is she having sarnies on her, on her? And a buffet. I mean, yeah, fine if you do them, but you know,

Look, I'll eat them if they're there, but I won't like it.

No, I won't, I won't eat them, but if there's something else to replace

What about wraps? What about wraps?

Yeah,

Yeah, okay, wraps, I like, do, I do normally do wraps.

a good, not the little pound

Oh no, like a decent sausage, yeah, proper sausage rolls.

I don't know, something else. You know, afternoon tea, I'm

Oh my god, do you know what I want to bring back, and actually I think I'm going to do it for Lily's birthday?

What?

cheese and pineapple hedgehog. Okay. But now you can.

strong

That's it, but you can go fancy now and you can put a pickled onion and a bit of salami on there.

Don't like pickled onion, but yeah, you could, yeah, slam it. Don't put that on all of them, you know.

This one's for you.

to replace this, you know when you go to an afternoon

Yeah.

I love it when they've got like a cheese scone or

Oh yeah.

to replace

replace a sandwich.

by the sandwich.

Yeah.

a sandwich, I'm like,

Oh,

You

could have done better.

crisp, a bit of cucumber,

Chris in a bowl. Oh yeah.

back to the hotel wedding days where you

Yeah.

a six item buffet. So the six items were always, like, sandwiches, sausage rolls, something to do with chicken dipper,

Oh, definitely. I, I like a spring roll. I do.

But you know what I mean, when it's just the sandwich is the main event.

No.

a sandwich is not a main event. It's shit. Toasties, cut up toast, cut up toasties would

That's a good idea. Oh, yeah

a main event, it's the worst thing to me.

Oh dear

Pizza van all

Yeah, keep your sandwiches

something fun. Keep your sandwiches and your pound sausage

because I bet if you go to a venue that's charging per head for a buffet like like a Yeah, like a buffet or evening food if you then If you then put that together and work to how much that is and then actually to hire a food van Probably about the,

money. 100%. But

so yeah,

I'm with

so.

on that. Or like a good, like an upmarket buffet, like, you know, like a

Oh yeah, grazing board!

Yeah,

Oh my god, I actually did a grazing board at Christmas at my mum and dad's on Christmas day evening. We had a grazing board and I set it all up and I literally was like, this thing, it was, it was beautiful, it was a thing of beauty, it was so good.

videoed

I took a photo to be fair.

there you go.

I was like, oh my start a new business doing grazing balls now.

Yeah, but you can get them, can't you?

Yeah.

you go. Anyway,

Anyway, we digress.

the main thing that we're, you can tell we're both hungry, can't you? Yeah

so next up we've got bad planning which is actually a really good point. So basically where guests don't have an idea where they're meant to be or what they're meant to be doing. There's like no structures of the day. So someone said that that is like, A main thing that causes anxiety and boredom. Yeah, just what what we're meant to be doing

happening and

and you don't know what you're doing. It's a bit that and I feel like that's again I'm just gonna say it, it happens a lot at DIY weddings where there's no coordinator, there's no planner, where someone's been like, well I'm the planner, I'm the, you're not, you're not, you're actually the, you're actually the couple, you're getting married, it's your wedding, you can't do it all, and actually to have a coordinator there to structure your day, or even just some signage. Yeah,

think it's really important to give people pre information. I don't know about you, but it's like, for example, if I go out for dinner, I want to have a look at the website. I want to see the menu. I want

yeah,

are on offer. Like I want to see the vibe, right? So when I'm invited to a wedding. I want to see, like, a rundown of the schedule. Wizardsware website is brilliant. I want to see, like, what kind of food are we

yeah,

a set menu, but, you know, you don't need to, and we've said before, don't put the menu on the website because, yeah, nightmare. But just to give you a little idea, you know, yeah, three course sit

yeah, so people know what they're getting, yeah, like

idea

the actual quantity of food,

Yeah, like I wanna, I wanna get a feel for the day, you

yeah.

wanna be giving a this is the time to rock up. I hate that,

Yeah, no, that's really true. And actually, this ties in nicely with someone else who said that when there's no clear dress code. So again, there's just that lack of information, which you can then add on to your advice or add on to your website is simply is so easy to do, you can just pop it on there. But I feel like if you give people a dress code, it just like people like to be told what to do and what to wear when in, they definitely do.

of the day helps with that, doesn't it?

Yeah,

wedding and you say to people, Turner, but we're having food trucks from, food trucks serving from three till five, I know I probably don't need to be as

exactly. Exactly.

something else.

So just, just something like that, just to pop onto your invite or your wedding website, just to give people a bit of an idea.

But we also had

Oh yeah.

have quite a lot of couples that do the black tie

Yeah.

but for the, the, the feedback that I get from my couples that want to do black tie is because they want to give people a really like niche dress code so they know, they're like, oh we want to say black tie so people know What they're

What they're wearing.

but I don't know if that's too niche sometimes especially for the men, you know black tie in like June

Well, I feel like it's everyone's doing black tie when it's not a black tie worthy venue, you know, like this is, yeah.

in like the Amalfi Coast and We're all in black tie like what like it's so hot

Yeah.

the worst color to wear

Or worse,

that's such a valid

turning up in black tie in a barn,

Yeah

the middle of a field.

true.

the vibe, is it?

No.

people just want to get that black tie,

Hmm.

vibe going on. But it's actually not black tie.

what the comment that we had was, it's like it's done for Instagram. You know, with the, the champagne shower The,

be content creator.

yeah, the, you know, spraying the champagne over all the people in black

Yeah. You know what? Bye, everyone.

in the background of the Amalfi Coast and the bright sunshine and everything's all enhanced. No.

No,

in

not for me hun.

not, it's just uncomfortable in your heart. Like if you're having an abroad wedding, you probably, like I would, if I was having a wedding abroad, I'd be happy to be like, oh yeah, just wear like, you know, pale colors. If the men want to wear like smart chinos, that's fine. Short sleeve shirt, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I haven't

well actually,

But

actually no.

need to think, what would you be happy with? But like, for

Yeah,

shoes. Like I said to everybody, my wedding is going to be predominantly outside,

so where appropriate footwear, yeah, yeah.

Very important. What else we got then?

So we've got, oh this one's good. So basically having the right amount of bar staff to guest ratio. So if you've got a lot of guests and then you've got like one person serving on bar, it's not good. It's not good.

a planner slash coordinator slash event manager Whatever you want to call me It's one of my biggest bugbears when I do an on the day management And we say we we now say to people like how many bar stuff have you got? So I've been left in the shiter before in the

Isn't this Shido?

when you've got they've hired like two bar

Oh, that's so bad.

Oh my god, it's so busy, and you end up having to like jump on the bar. And also, it's not even bar staff. I was saying this to a couple the other day. You need to think, yeah, you need for your guest numbers, two, three behind the bar, but you also need two glass collecting and washing glasses. You also need like a floater to somebody just to put wherever's busy. Because if your bar's busy, then go on the bar.

But this is on the, surely on the bar company, or whoever you've hired in on the par Or is it not?

of people now, especially marquee weddings at home, buy all their own

Oh dear.

marquee company, and then go on Facebook or ask their

Oh, really? Interesting.

Because they're just serving,

Yeah.

money.

Oh.

much

And there's nothing worse than spending the night queuing up at the bar.

It

You just want to be on the dance floor, you don't want to be queuing up for your drinks. Yeah.

you really don't. And you don't want to see that, you know, like loads of people around the whole, like all around the bar, but no one on the dance floor, that's the

Yeah.

But I do always say, I would always recommend getting a professional bar company to be honest. It's a lot easier, but yeah, for people that are doing a DIY bar, A, don't do it, but B, get enough bartenders.

When we got married, the venue, they had their own, there was basically a bar company that they had in. They were amazing. Incredible. Really, really good. They were so good. And the cocktails were incredible. But, but they were quick.

is

they

And

even did shots. I was going to say they had a shot menu, but it was that honestly, that was one of the highlights actually of my wedding day was the bar because

bar company

it was set up. It was really tidy and clean and it looked amazing. They had all the light in, but then they had a lot of staff working as well. So there would never seem like there was a lot of people waiting at the bar.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They did the wedding for me last

Yeah.

were great

So good.

didn't even I was like Do you need anything from me? And they're like no we do the venue all the

Yeah, they were really good actually with me, like, with communication and stuff. Like, I was emailing them about our own personal cocktails that we'd done, so we did like a his and hers.

yeah

And and they were just really, like, accommodating, they were really good, so, yeah.

Love that. Another one we've got which I thought was a really good point is no seating during the drinks reception because actually I think we do see the drinks reception as standing but actually there are going to be some people that do need seats and if it's long people do just want to be able to sit down and have a

Yeah.

or

Just some seating.

get some seating in or at least poser tables that people can put their drink down. You know when you've got like your bag and your drink?

at our wedding we had posy Um, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was an extra expense, but I feel like it was worth it

Yeah, so I think all interesting thoughts, hopefully that was helpful. And yeah, let's go on to the listeners questions

so, um, first during But this is where I have a dilemma. My parents are very kindly paying for almost all of the wedding. Additionally, they are incredibly supportive and helpful in every aspect of our lives. mum, um, dad is not financially contributing to the wedding. We would never expect her to as she is not in the position to. But additionally she has made it very clear that she is uninterested in the wedding and never asks about it or anything. Again, I don't expect her to.

Do you know what? That is exactly the same as what I would say. And do you know what? I was going to ask you actually, because back when I started in the industry, like 15 years

yeah

that was a big part of my big part. Very a small percentage of the day. But one of the things that I used to always do is ask the couple, have you got

yeah

out in your speeches? And they still to this day ask it because I was so used

yep

years ago coming out with a bouquet for each mom, Bringing it out during the speeches, when the groom gives, you know, I used to sort a little line that the groom's

yeah

come out with these flowers. still ask it now because I'm just so used

to doing it yeah

But I don't think, I think in the last five years, I've probably had one couple has asked me to bring

really

always says, now we're doing the gifts

yeah

And I feel like it's just

it has to yeah that's I don't do as many thank you breakers as I used to

And that, well, that's

yeah

you. Is that as big a thing for You Yeah.

It's not, no, even,

was just a

honestly.

two, two

Yeah, before, I know I hate to compare things to COVID, but it's just how I just, but ever since COVID, I've done a lot less thank you gifts and people are not helping out as much

Oh,

or it's just like, uh, I don't really know. It's just people probably doing it like, like you say, like privately rather than doing it in front of everybody. And, and it also used to be a thing that you'd get, like, I remember when my uncle got married and like all of us bridesmaids and like the page boy and everything, the flower girl, we all got like little gifts and stuff. And they used to come out with them and.

They used

Yeah.

a lot of people do it before the wedding. Because actually a lot of the time, a gift for a bridesmaid is

It's,

pajamas and the

and you get that the day before, don't you? So, yeah. Yeah.

that, the groom would actually forget to do that bit, if he hadn't written in his speech or whatever, so sometimes they'd forget anyway, and I think then it's quite that awkward exchange of, then somebody walking out, give him the bouquet of flowers, people clap, it's just very awkward, and a little bit clumsy, and just a bit, Yeah, I think you're, I think it's just awkward,

Yeah. exactly.

not to

Someone else. Yeah.

want to do that during the speeches, fine, do

Yeah.

but then do something else for, is it his parents or her parents her, parents, okay, so yeah, bride's parents, yeah. something to them separately, or just do it separately,

mean, we just did something privately. We never did it during the speech. Obviously, you might mention someone in the speech. Thank you for whatever. You might just mention them, but we didn't bring out the gifts.

I'm not gonna lie, I didn't do any gifts. Other than for my bridesmaids, I got them like pajamas

Yeah, depends what, yeah, but you're only really thanking someone. What are you thanking them for if they've not done anything?

come to my wedding!

Thanks for letting me spend a hundred and fifty pounds on you.

yeah, but also parents that want to contribute, that's just something that they want to do. I don't feel like, and I've said thank you to them, but I don't think that they feel like they

No,

from that.

No,

the gift is the wedding. They had a lovely time, you know,

exactly.

and we appreciate that they could be a part of helping us to do that day.

Yeah.

So I wouldn't even feel that. Like you need to do anything personally, but if you want to

Privately. Cool.

Well, I hope that was helpful anyway,

Yeah, I think so. I think we've, uh, given out lots of today on how not to annoy your wedding guests and also how not to annoy your family when you're thanking them. Ha ha ha!

Thanks so

Thanks for listening.

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