Tackling the wedding blues

Hello.

Hello!

How are you?

I'm not bad. I'm feeling very warm. It's it's a real weird weather at the moment. In the morning it's like freezing and you think oh my god it's gonna be so cold outside so

Yeah.

time I put on a turtleneck it's guaranteed to be hot weather. Yeah,

like, so many people are like, oh, ready for autumn and getting the autumn wardrobe out. I never do it at this point because it always does this, where then we suddenly have a really hot period again.

exactly. It's it's very disconcerting. I'm, I'm, I don't know what I'm doing at the moment with what I'm wearing. I'm wearing a,

my

what are these called?

I've got a thermal jacket on,

What are these called? Dungarees. That's it. Sorry.

It's been a long week

It's been a long life. Shall we go?

Let's go! Hi, I'm Hannah,

And I'm Hayley,

are your wedding planning experts!

here to spill the tea on the inside of wedding planning and everything that goes with it

Expect our honest opinions, the real juice on what happens on a wedding day,

with a few tips thrown in between.

just a chat between friends.

And of course, make sure you hit that subscribe button.

And

let's get you wet! Woo!

How are you? How are you?

I'm good, I'm, I'm as I was saying to you before we started recording, I'm a little bit, I feel a little bit flustered because Lily's, Lily's just napping but it was, it was a sort of nap that started in the car and then she's now in her cot but she could wake up at any moment.

Oof. Basically we're

I'm nervous.

nap record

Selfish

selfishly going off on holiday next weekend. So we've got,

bitch. Laughter.

need to fit in two records so we can always bring you guys the wonderful content that you

We know you love it. You can't get enough. So we're having to put a shift in for you.

you been up to this week anyway?

So I've been quite busy. So I've had some inquiries for, I'm sort of getting back to it now. A bit doing, I don't, I stopped doing kind of like bouquets and stuff. I think I said this before, like everyday bouquets. But coming up, we've got so I get really busy. I can't believe I'm saying this already. It's nearly been a year, but like Christmas time so I get really busy with reef workshops. So I have to book in my dates with like the halls and the venues where I do them.

Prepping

had. Yeah, literally, but I've had a massive influx of customers for private workshops. So I did quite a few of them last year because I I do them anyway, but cause I was pregnant and quite heavily pregnant, I thought I'll do like smaller groups, do a lot of private

nice.

went down a treat though. People love them. So I put the feelers out and I've had, so I've pretty much. In between my workshops, I've pretty much booked like three weeks of work

Really?

I'm, yeah, I'm pretty happy with that.

Yeah, because last year was when I was having to cancel yours because

Yeah,

rush into hospital when you

yeah,

nuts.

so,

a

yeah, so that was a bit of a bit of a bummer. So this year, luckily, touch wood, nothing like that happens again.

We hope not.

yeah, so so hopefully, yeah, it all goes well. And and I was a bit worried. Being a small business and like when something like that happens, like even though I was in hospital and I was ill, I really didn't want to cancel.

but

Like.

I was

Yeah

were honestly more worried that you was

Yeah, and it makes you scared like to think that they won't come back next year or something But actually like people haven't been put off and obviously it was like I've been doing them every year for like 10 years now so like they knew it was a

know it's not

see unprecedented

thing is always like, Oh no. What if they leave me a bad Google

I

did

had one guy once Lee some some random person just left me a one star review someone I hadn't even like used me just left a one star. No, but I was just like what? Why? Who are you? You haven't used me. Can you? I don't know, I couldn't even work out how to do it. Because you can't delete him, can you? Once you're there.

no, no, no, no. Like Google reviews are like, like serious stuff.

Yeah.

look at Google reviews because apparently I've had the trust pilot, is like you pay again, you can pay, like if you pay like a subscription or something, I mean, I've never probably looked into it, but apparently if you pay a subscription, you can like get stuff deleted and that. And it's just basically not as. They're not verified or

Oh.

And the same with people's websites is you'd only put on good reviews,

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

so yeah, I always think Google's a good one because yes,

He's actually

it's

honest.

them removed.

yeah.

So,

But, but yes, I've been busy busy prepping for Christmas. I can't believe I'm saying that in September, but I always am.

I hate September, because like, you go in Marks and Sparks, and there's just Christmas food

Oh my god, yeah.

and, and everything. I haven't really been in any other

Oh my god, I went to M& S yesterday, my sister in law bought these cinnamon chocolate,

Oh.

bun chocolate pies. Oh my god. They were in the Christmas section but,

It's

oh god.

food shop,

They do the best mince pies. They do the best mince pies, I've gotta say.

tins of like, it's all random bits like pretzels and

I saw

and stuff. They're

I saw these over the weekend.

Yeah, my friend got

I'm gonna be getting them.

they are very, very good. So, yeah. But yeah, anyway, not talking

We digress.

like, everyone starts asking you like, what are you doing for Christmas? I'm just like, oh, this is, this is when I don't like

yeah.

of,

I'm not looking forward to this year because Obviously it's Lily's first Christmas and

gonna be running

got kind of like everyone, you know, everyone wants to see her, which is fine, but it's, it makes me anxious.

stay at home and be like, if you want to see her,

Come to

is.

Yeah, but yeah. So, so yeah, prepping for Christmas. And I've had. Some wedding inquiries as well. So setting up a consultations for those so that literally every evening this week, I've got a meeting over zoom on with you. Yes. For a couple in October.

this is like my

but yeah,

com. I'll

yes,

anyway, but

yeah. Yeah, so that's that. And and yeah, so I've actually, yeah, I've been pretty busy and then,

Nice.

yeah, just you know, mumming as well.

Yeah. Mom life.

Oh, mum life.

Nice.

Yeah. How's your week been obviously with this last minute Wedding?

I literally, I think I probably said this last week, but I had, yeah, probably because when we recorded, I'd just taken this couple on. So I literally finished a full plan, which is supposed to be my last one of the year. then I'd had a consultation with a couple, a couple of weeks before, thought that they weren't going to go ahead. And then, I'd kind of chase them up and then they decided to go ahead. So I woke up Monday morning with no plans left for 2024. Like, yeah, I can

Woohoo!

not chilling. She

Break.

year's stuff,

Yeah.

it's not as like high pressured to buy the afternoon. I've got a wedding for six weeks time. So we're working on that at the moment and they already had their venue and the caterer comes with the venue anyways, we have that secured, but we went into their tasting on Friday, which was good. So you live in America as well. So.

Okay.

Yeah, hence why they kind of needed the help. But yeah, so

So they're just, I was going to say, yeah, they've obviously traveled in for a short while.

came to do their notice of marriage. So obviously

Ah.

for that.

Yeah, florist,

why they didn't get back to me because they didn't think they were going to be able to get the visas to be able to get their notice of marriage. But so they didn't know if they're gonna have to postpone. But yeah, so it's all kind of go, go, go. But we're just like finding all the suppliers. Hence why obviously we've put Haley forward for the floristry, which. Sounds

of the year.

they love your ideas, by the way, with all the moths

Oh, good. Yes.

So basically, the bride doesn't like flowers, because she doesn't like the fact. She said she just thinks of dead corpuses on a, corpses on a table, because she, you know, they're gonna die. Which,

Oh my god, love that. But yeah. No, imagine.

Yeah, but it'd be interesting to see if anybody else's feels this way about flowers. But

Yeah.

and she's like, I hate the thought of like faux flowers, because if you're gonna have a flower, have a real flower. But it was so funny, because then we went to the tasting, and there's this like, bouquet, you know, in a vase, some lovely flowers as they do, and they were all orchids. And

Oh, beautiful. Yeah.

like that. They look really nice.

Orchids are amazing and you can get little mini orchids as well. So if they were in them right down the table, you can get like little mini, really

that into our

cool. The the ideas are flowing.

know, right? Because

There's

text

things

I?

You did. Yeah.

because then there was, then the other thing is, which is quite a thing that you need to think about is with this time of year. So working on an October wedding, we're looking at things like what is in season.

Yeah.

then the other thing from a photography point of view is. So the venue that they're getting married at, we can't actually access till five o'clock because it's a point of interest. So they're not getting married till six o'clock. So you have to think of the light. So it's going to be quite dark outside and stuff. So they're just kind of things you need to think about if you have an autumn or winter wedding.

Yeah.

had a consultation with a couple who, earlier today, who were getting married next, December, December 25. And again, they, you know, it's very much like you've got to work your timings out to the light. And I said to them, you know, you need to, they were thinking about picking their ceremony at 12 o'clock, which as we've discussed, we think it's too early,

Yeah. The earlier

your priorities. If you just want a real hardcore, great party, get married later. But if you want amazing photos of you guys outside, get married earlier,

better.

because you do need to think about. Obviously, when you get married in the summer, you just don't even think about

No, it's not even something that crosses your mind, is it? Because it's light for

aren't too

nine o'clock.

wants, like, the venue they're getting married at is incredible. So the inside of it is very like, they're like, it's probably one of the most coolest architecture in the UK. It's just the building is insane. So

Yeah, it's stunning.

anyway. So I'm like, well, that's fine. can just do it

Yeah, I was gonna say, I wouldn't even have thought about with the decor in there. I mean, I wouldn't have, I suppose you would have outdoor photos, people generally do, don't they? But, just, just the inside is so,

exactly, but

anyway, just,

the ceremony will be done by half five and the light, it says online that it's sunsets at six. So if the weather is nice, you have got a quick window to like, get a couple of shots outside. But yeah, so that's what I've working on. I've only got three weddings left this year now, so

wow,

into this week and then I come back, fly back on the Friday morning, Saturday wedding, Chloe blesses going on Friday to set up and then I'll join her on Saturday

ah, busy.

I know. And then we've got one the following week and then this one in October, and then I'm done for the year with weddings and I'll just freelance over Christmas. But yeah,

Oh my gosh.

where it's starting to

It's weird, isn't it? It's like coming up to a year since we obviously started the podcast and like we were sort of talking about these bits and pieces at the beginning of when we started, like I was getting ready for Christmas

Yeah.

stuff. I can't believe it. Time's just flown by.

mental,

don't know where it's gone, honestly. It's

Yeah. And you're going into a crazy busy time

Yeah.

starting

Christmas for me is always mental. Like, it always has been. It's like, I, I view Christmas as like, a help.

Yeah.

I'm like, so busy. And yeah, it's always been like that. Even when I worked in shops, we'd be manic. And it was like, I just remember getting home and like, my feet would hurt so bad from like, just being on them for like, so long.

And I'm

But

you probably start what your recent like November

Yeah, November. Yeah, so

like six weeks.

yeah, it's not long. I know mad.

middle of September. Like, when I come back from holiday, it's end of September. That way, this is the 28th of September.

I can't believe it. I honestly and I'm like What the hell

I

soon be? Yeah next year. Yeah.

crazy.

Oh God

for 2025. We do it all again and then we'll be moaning like, oh my god, time goes so quick.

God. It's like an age thing.

like January though, but I think that's a

Oh

thing because we're all like, Like, for everybody, it's kind of like, it's not

Quiet.

of admins, you're getting all your new inquiries, but it's not in terms

You're not run off your feet. Are

No, I feel like

you like physically,

in

tired,

Nobody gets married in January. That's very rare that you get a wedding in January,

Yeah, it is actually.

maybe you get the odd couple, like they might start filtering in,

Yeah. But January's,

very

yeah.

So

I'm trying to think now. Have I ever done one in January? I must have done.

together at

course we did. Yeah.

in

Yes we did.

We planned

Yeah.

whole thing in eight

Oh my gosh. We're just like dream team, dream

Dream team.

team.

Oh, I will say this week I was supposed to go and see pretty woman and it got, and I literally got there and you know, when you feel like had one of those days anyway, it's like so busy and you're like, Oh, I really want to go and see it. So, cause I sometimes I know it sounds a bit sad, but I just go on my own

yeah, yeah.

pick up like Front row tickets, really cheap, because if there's only one seat left, nobody wants one seat, so they massively reduce it.

Yeah. Oh no!

there, got to the door, and there's just all the staff outside handing out letters, and it was just like, oh yeah, this has been cancelled.

Where was it?

And the

The Savoy?

Northampton?

Oh, of course! I said the Savoy because I went to watch it at the Savoy one time and,

Savo tho

yeah.

is there now. So

Oh. Oh. Yeah.

but one thing I thought, I, I, the reason I'm bringing it up is there's no, so in the letter it's like we'll contact you to let you know like what happens next. Fairly good like process, right? So you've literally got the staff there. Really. Sorry for the inconvenience, you know, I mean there's nothing, all you can say is No worries. Thanks, because there's nothing they can do. Giving you this letter, this is what's going to happen next. Okay, great, great, great.

Contact them. Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?

it kind of reminded me of like, you know, how like, How we as suppliers just need to make things easy for our couples. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

is so busy. Like I haven't got time to be going and chasing up and actually I probably will, if I don't chase it up, I'll just go end up losing the money, which isn't fair. And I just think there's so, I've seen so much this summer and it probably kind of goes back to what we were talking about last week about using like crap suppliers, but

Yeah.

just think that it's so important to be using people that, you know, that when you're doing a consultation or, you know, in that beginning process that you're, you're using somebody that is. Showing that they're helping you and they're taking the time off of your hands, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you're saying. Yeah.

because I just, it just drives me crazy when there's processes in the world that could be so much easier. But it's just like, come on. You know,

I mean, especially this day and age, like, come on, like, it is mental, and you've got to now ring around the houses trying to find out what's going on.

I'll book like a photographer, for example, for my couples, and I have to ask them everything. So, like, what time are you arriving? And do you have dietary requirements? And I'm thinking if I didn't do this for the couple, the couple would have an issue. be having to do this. But then have photographers sometimes who have automated emails that are going out. So

Yeah.

it'd be like, right, these are our direct requirements.

I was gonna say, that's so much easier. Yeah, if everyone could just do that,

Yeah. Fill out this questionnaire with all your information of your group shots. Do you know what I mean? And it just makes it easier for everybody. And I just think if be asking your suppliers, You know, what are your processes? Like, how are you going to make this journey easier for

easier for you. Yeah.

so little, like a ticket being canceled, but it's just a ball lake, isn't it?

Yeah, but it kind of like flags up again, like you say, like with, with, if you can like relate it to what we do, it is so much easier if, like you say, people have these processes already in place. And if you can then ask. Your suppliers what they can do, but I think like having an automated service or something like that, like, like literally just an email that you send out to like the wedding planner or like, this is when I arrive. Like I always, when I send out a quote, I

Hmm.

with, with my quote in my email, I'll put. Pop in there, like all of my, I guess, finer details, like when I plan to arrive on the day, when the final balance is due, when I'll contact them for like a final meeting. So all of those questions that generally someone asks you from having a quote. Are answered. So they haven't got to like, relay loads of emails and there's more of a paper trail and it's just like, wasting time.

Yeah. It's like invoices. I kid you not. The amount of suppliers I have to chase numerous times to get their invoices. And you're like. What? Surely you want to get

Yeah, see I never understood that.

I have,

I'm like straight in with my invoice. Oh my god.

do like a final meeting two weeks before, don't you, and then send it like

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

But I'm just, it baffles me, and I just think if you're really bad at admin and stuff, just set up, like, you can go on like QuickBooks and get, like, set it up when they book you to automatically send

Yeah. There's really no excuse these days, is there?

not,

there's so many things you can do, like, like you say you can set it up in advance so it literally sends it without you even having to do anything. You just press a button or, you know, like,

mean, I keep it quite organized. We have like a spreadsheet with, you know, what they're paying for, how much they've paid, when the final balances are

yeah, yeah,

oh my God, if I've missed one. Imagine after the wedding having to be like, oh guys, you still need to pay, like.

owe this much. Yeah.

or whatever, like no one wants to be worrying about that after they've got married, you

No, no.

sometimes I like get to the point where it's like a week before and I'm like, look, if you don't send it to me now, like I cannot confirm that you're definitely going to get paid because it, once the wedding's done, it's kind of out of my hands a little bit, really.

Well, yeah

and they don't then pay you, it's kind of off, off, off

Well, it's on you if you've not

Yeah.

sent your invoice in Yeah

depressed when that day comes. I'm talking

Speaking of depression,

oh yeah, that's what I was

that's not funny. Not funny. That shouldn't say that. But you know, I mean, I was just thinking I would just slide into our next topic, which is basically we had a lovely listener contact us about the wedding blues. So they've obviously listened to our podcast, which is amazing.

Woo

They're still listening, even though they've got married now, but, and they, they wanted us to do an episode on the wedding blues, so.

And do you know what? I think it's this time of year, there's been so many weddings this

Yeah,

seeing this a lot on social

yeah,

you all know, I love a wedding Facebook group and I'm seeing like people even having to leave the group because they're like so depressed

yeah. Well, it's like, it's

my old couples like message me like, Oh, I'm really missing my wedding

really sad.

planning and you know.

Well, if you think about it, it's a massive part of your life. You could have spent three, two, three years planning this day

Mm.

it all happens and then it's just over. Like it's, it's almost like, It's almost like having a, like, I felt after, it's a bit like a loss, so that sounds like

Yeah, I was gonna

really,

how did you

it is a bit of a, so I, I was a bit like, oh, well, what do I,

she was

what do I do now? I was like, thank God that's over now. No, but I was a bit like, well, well, what do I do now? So I'm, I've always been, to any sort of person you are as well, because I am like, If I've got a goal or I'm looking forward to something, I'll like go for that and then I'm really focused on things and then I struggle if I haven't got a goal or I haven't got something I'm working towards

to.

something to look forward to and I feel like. When I got married and it was all over, I was like, cause I put so much effort into the planning and everything. I was like, Oh, well, what do I do now? Like, it's all over. It was a little bit, I was a bit sad about it.

yeah

so I definitely understand where people are coming from.

see it. I mean, it's like when you get towards the end of a holiday, isn't it? And you

Yeah. You're like, Oh, Oh,

gonna be honest. I didn't get the wedding blues at all But

for you.

purely think that's because of my job because I got

Yeah.

and two days later I was doing a wedding.

Yeah. See, I was similar though.

in it.

Yeah. So I got back from my honeymoon literally three days later, I was doing someone else's wedding.

I think and I haven't, but maybe it will hit me in the winter. I don't know because obviously I got married at the start of season, whereas it actually if I'd have got married like now,

Yeah.

I would have felt it a bit more, but I just, I felt like I haven't, I haven't had any time off. Since I got back from honeymoon in June

Yeah. I'm going to time to.

done weddings. I don't,

Yeah.

had a weekend off. So yeah, I think this is going to be my first that I've had off. So I think that's why. So maybe that could be a little bit of a thing is like, I think if you've got plans, you know, if you've got something planned

Yeah.

something to like look forward to, maybe that kind of helps a little bit,

So I, I remember getting, being given some advice when I was getting married.

Yeah.

And that was basically to like book something like a weekend away or something like, I don't know, six months later. So that you have something to look forward to like a holiday.

Ha

Like something like that. Yeah. You know, just or even like. I like, obviously what you do, like obviously all us hens and we all got on. Then you were like, well let's do like a reunion next year.

which

And I thought that's great because then you all get back together, like everyone got on and, and then we'll like have like a real great time. It'd be like reminiscing on your wedding, but also like having, having a good sneeze up. You know what I mean? Like, it'd be funny. And yeah.

But I also think, and we've said this before, is a hundred percent, we both are in agreement of this, is have your honeymoon after the wedding, because I

Yeah. Yeah.

can like get married. Like I literally had a couple a couple of weeks ago and they were back to work, they got married on Saturday, they were back to work on Tuesday. And I'm like, I don't,

That makes me sad for them.

like I feel like if you have the wedding right, then you do like a little breakfast or something the day after, then you go on honeymoon for two weeks. By the time all that stuff's over, maybe it helps a bit, the wedding blues, because maybe you're like looking, not looking forward to, but like getting back. You know, like when you've been on a long holiday and you're like,

Yeah.

although it's crap, you're home. I am looking forward to like getting back into my routine

Yeah. See, we are like, as humans, love routine, don't we? And I feel like, yeah, don't get me wrong, I love a holiday, but by the end of it, I'm like, oh, do you know what?

Get back to

I'm looking forward to working a little bit. That's sad, isn't it? But I'm like, oh, you know, get back into my work routine and

Yeah.

home routines and stuff. So,

And I suppose, you know what, we're not psychologists, but I suppose from my point of view, from like experience of feeling like this, is just constantly always looking at things that you're, you know, Like nobody ever, maybe you do, I don't know, but I'm, I'm guessing everybody has stuff going on. So

yeah.

you know, when you get back from honeymoon, whether it's like, you've got a weekend away or like a birthday party you're going to together, or is Christmas coming up or

Yeah,

that you've got to think to yourself. Oh, that, that we're looking forward to doing that together, looking forward. And when we go, we can be like, Oh, this is my husband. This is my wife.

yeah,

you've got like that to look forward to

yeah, exactly.

the little things in life, like changing your name and

I was gonna say you gotta change your name and everything. Yeah,

so many things I look for. Like, it's like Monica on Friends, isn't it? Like,

I don't watch friends I'm

Oh, she's a loser.

I am sorry. I

friends.

you've you've said it's you've dropped some Quotes in every now and again. I'm like ha ha ha and I gotta come clean today. Yeah, I don't like friends I don't think it's funny.

feel like our friendship is

I feel like people are gonna hate on me now Get a lot of hate from my sisters in law about this

Everybody is now judging you.

Heh, instant judgment.

need to watch it to

Heh

them.

heh. Heh heh heh. Ha

now I'm just a wife.

ha ha.

I'm no longer a bride, I'm just somebody's

Just somebody's wife.

But yeah, it is true. But there's like obviously so many benefits and, you know, whether it's that We actually got, that I've never used, and we talked about this on the podcast months ago, those books. Can you remember I showed them to you? Like the date

Oh

ideas.

Have you used

used

them? Oh.

Because it's just, we've just been too busy. We're

Yeah. Yeah.

been working every weekend, so maybe after winter we'll,

Life's been life in

But wherever it's even little things like that, that you say, right, okay, now we're married, we're You know, could do two date. I hate the term date night. I said this

date night. Oh,

know, one of these like activity books, you do that a couple of

yeah.

once a week or once a month, whatever you wanna do. I think, yeah, like you said, it's planning things in to look forward to or

Also, if you've had like your wedding video and if you've had a wedding video or wedding photos done You've got the time to wait for your wedding video to come through so it always takes a while You're looking at a couple of months at least until it comes through so you can make a nice special occasion of that. Sit down with your, with a bit of popcorn or whatever, some drinks and champagne and watch it. Make a special evening out of that. Get your family around to watch it.

a good

photos as well. You can sit and look through those.

them about. And, also, like, You know, when you get your photos back, it's then, like, we were talking recently about a photo album, so putting your photo album

Yeah.

you're gonna print off, like, all these lovely things, and then just, like, chatting about the wedding, like, people are still, like, talking, like, people are still talking to me about my wedding now, like, oh, it's such a lovely weekend, and just reminiscing,

Yeah, exactly.

know,

And I feel like, although it feels like everything's stopped and there's nothing to look forward to, it isn't like that. It's just a big part of your life, isn't it? And it is obviously, like I say, you've planned it for so long and then days here and the day goes.

pre warning you now. Please go to a therapist. Don't

you're really sad,

take our advice by gospel. Please

know, like relive the day with your friends and your, like your bridesmaids and you know, there's, there's lots of things that you can do to kind of like just keep reminiscing about it. And I don't think that, yeah, you need to, there's plenty of other things in life as well that you can look forward to like holidays and Christmas and birthdays and everything like that.

life,

the little things in life. Sunny day?

nice dinner.

A roast dinner on a Sunday?

like a, I just find so much joy in the littlest things in

Yeah.

is like, I would get

Aww.

it's like 12 o'clock and I'm like, oh, it's lunch in an hour. I'm so

Look guys, if you're feeling down, don't worry, just look forward to your lunch.

This Saturday, I'm going to, well not Saturday because I'm always working, this Sunday I'm going to cook a nice, and then I'll think of something really good and I'll really look forward to it. Or like, like last week me and my friend went like holiday clothes shopping and I was so excited for it all week. But I'm

Aww.

in life kind of

Those things make me happy as well though. You're not a loser. So am I then, if you are.

this is probably bad advice, but I get so excited about like ordering little things. Oh my god, that's quite a cool idea though, like, you know, like buying, you know, like, maybe you could buy a little partner, like a little gift, like,

Aww, let's all arrive afterwards.

one, you know, and it comes in the post, and you're like, oh,

Yeah,

getting parcels,

I love it when Amazon come round. I'm like, Oh, what's that? Even if I've not ordered something Richard has, I'm like, Oh, what's he ordered? Oh. Oh,

And now I'm always like, Ooh, I forgot what I've ordered. And then you're like, Ooh.

surprise.

The little things in life, I tell you, I'm such a loser for stuff like that. But yeah, I think that's, that's yeah. Getting like your photo albums and stuff, you know, ordered and all those things, and then you imagine then they come in in the post and you get the email saying they're on the

Oh, they're on their way!

I've actually like, I'm a bit like, not depressed about that, but because we're doing a renovation project, I feel like I can't like print any yet. Because

Oh, yeah.

Although we do now have one nice bedroom which we've moved into, which, so we do have like, a nice bedroom. But, there's no point in putting, we're not staying here, so there's no point in putting photos on the wall. So I

See, that's how with me and Richard were, but then plans changed. We were like, well, we're probably going to move so we won't put any up. Anyway, here we are two, two years later and we've got a few photos up, but we're still here. So.

yeah, I need to yeah, I, but I I really need to get the album sorted. That's like my, my winter project, really. I want to get the albums done so I can have those out and have a look. And we're still waiting for our wedding video, which I'm very excited

Yeah. That's cool.

like that. I think you're feeling really down about it. You've just got to look back, think about the memories. I think the biggest, I think as well, sometimes two things I want to mention here. One is that, the, is your blues really strong because talking back that we've discussed before, it's the financial side and you know, if you're going to put yourself in debt, I don't

Yeah.

So again, advice for anyone that's planning is really try not to do that.

Yeah. Try not to get too much like financing

Yeah.

that you maybe, you know, circumstances change in the, in the future. You just never know what's around the corner, do you? Basically. So we, we always sort of advise people, you know, if you can pay for things outright or within your budget, basically you just budget and

like,

stretch yourself.

because I always think when you're skinting yourself out because every month you're like, you're saving, aren't you, for your

Yeah. Yeah.

So then when you're actually married, like you've got money again.

Yeah.

can then use that for like weekends away or

We're rich.

yeah. Or the other thing that kind of touching on what you said about is we actually put some of our, the, the money that we got for gifts for our honeymoon, we actually kept some of that to do a weekend away, which we're doing in November,

Yes.

another

That's cool. Yeah, we had we had vouchers and stuff. Yeah, we actually used some of our wedding vouchers on on things for Lily Because we've we got a lot of John Lewis ones and they last for like two years

Nice.

obviously we use them towards but but like you can like we also had lots of like we got given cash And that was left over from the hunt like when we use the money on our honeymoon and stuff We used that and went out for like a nice meal for our first anniversary and little trip away and stuff. So yeah,

have to use it for your honeymoon, do you?

no, no.

one thing I'd like advise, is maybe like plan to put a couple, like we're literally doing, we wanted to go see Harry Potter at the theatre, so we're going to London for the weekend, doing that. So we put enough money aside to do, to do that. the other thing I would touch on is I've seen this a lot, again in a Facebook group, but people are putting so much pressure. I think the blues comes from the next day or a few days later or whatever.

Oh,

enough, or maybe something didn't go right. And I think it's just making. Making you aware while you're planning that like things aren't always going to go right and we've spoke about this a lot and I think as well, it's like we, I really wanted to do like loads of photos with like, not loads of photos, but I wanted to do some with us too and all our friends and I wanted to do like these ones that sit on Pinterest where the couple is standing kissing and then

yeah,

behind or people like, you know, like, like dive

I know what you mean. Yeah,

But yeah, Do you know what, like, I don't, I don't care because we had a great

you had a good time.

we

And I feel like there's a lot of pressure from social media, isn't there? Like, and the outside world, what everyone else is doing when actually like, you just have a good time and not worry about putting stuff online.

No,

worry about it.

to do something that you wanted to do, if it's really, really important to you, then I feel like it's really important. You would have made it clear to like a coordinator or somebody that will make sure it makes it happen. But if you're not actually that bothered, you put like you, if you haven't mentioned it enough to your photographer or your, or your, your coordinator is probably cause you weren't that bothered. So I just

yeah,

you can't put that pressure on yourself. It's like seeing. Nobody knows how the day is going to go and it does, you know, it's such a cliche, but it does go quick

it does.

is just one day. It's not even a full day. You know, it's a

Yeah, it's like half a day. Yeah.

I just think, I think this is where a lot of people's wedding blues come in or arguments happen at the wedding again. Right. One of the things that I said for my wedding was I am not getting into any like in depth converse, you know, like when people have had a drink and they want a really serious chat with you

Yeah.

you're literally having a heart to heart and I've seen it happen to couples where they've gone and sat in their honeymoon suite with like a cousin and who, you know, they've had a heart to heart with for an

Oh god.

I'm avoiding any situation like that. And I genuinely did. I mean, I, I didn't really drink a lot. So whether that helped, but I didn't get into any heart to heart. So everything was very light hearted. I didn't have any in depth chats. I spoke to everybody. I had a great time. I didn't have any in depth

Yeah, I know what you mean it They always come out when there's alcohol involved and they go. Yeah. Yes. I'm

And

not one.

you see an argument that's starting to look like it's simmering, just go and get I had this situation, I'll be really honest, I saw an argument simmering and I went and grabbed my, one of my bridesmaids and I asked them to go interview, and I went off from the situation, whereas if I, and I'm so glad that I did that, because if I'd have gone over and got

Yeah

have then been involved and it would have really affected my day, but it

Yeah,

my day, and I wasn't bothered about it afterwards, because I just stayed out, I just avoided it, and was like, do you know what, it's nothing to do with me, like, Whatever.

good that you did that. Yeah.

And I think maybe this is where it, maybe some wedding blues can stem from. Do you think? Like, you know, people like looking back over like regrets and things like that.

Yeah. I mean if we're being honest I can talk about my wedding. So There was an argument at the end of my wedding literally right at the end

I mean, let's face it guys. Not a wedding unless there's an

No, I mean, you're getting all your family together. I mean, it was, yeah, there was there was some dangerous and there was a row at the end of my wedding and Unfortunately Me and Richard both got dragged into it just because of it was going on out the front.

Yeah.

we weren't involved and it wasn't

No, you,

it wasn't our argument, but we were like, well, yeah, we just wanted it to

to diffuse it.

but it left a sour taste for the next day and like the next morning everyone woke up and obviously it'd been it was You know not ideal so and then we had like people obviously needed to apologize to us and stuff and then it actually kind of like went over and caused a bit of Few issues for a few weeks afterwards

Yeah,

that sort of thing does like I say leaves a sour taste and Can make it

to wedding

worse Luckily, we were we were went off on our honeymoon to exact two days later But if not that would have really that I'd have really bothered me I think because I would have thought well it ruined the day It didn't ruin the day at all because it was right at the end. It had nothing like it It would, it didn't, but like I can see how if something like that happened and then you like literally going back to work on the Tuesday or something like you'd be feeling a bit shit about it. Yeah.

And you're going to keep thinking, Oh, if only it had been different and

Yeah. Yeah.

yeah, I think we've kind of helped a little bit there

Yeah.

a bit with our experiences and yeah, I think you've just really got to look at, you know, yeah, look back with, you know, And hopefully you had the greatest day and

Yeah. Yeah.

you know, you, you've just touched on it and it's such a good point about so, so many questions on social media. I also think there's that huge pressure of it's the best day of your life. It may not necessarily be the best day of your life, like,

No,

got to

could just be a good day.

Yeah. Like

It was all right.

Like

Yeah.

just wish the wedding industry wasn't so high pressured.

big day. The best day of your life.

everybody, like, when you look at life as well, like, some people aren't the kind of people that socialise with loads of people and want to go out. Like, I'm a bit like that. Like, I was saying to one of my friends the other day, like, Oh, when I was younger, like, I used to, I hated going, really, like, I wasn't a big going out person, but I loved a house party. When there was, like, ten of you, you're best mates and you'd have a great

Yeah.

If some people just aren't a big going out drinking pe people, then you might find that you don't necessarily enjoy it because you're not the kind of person that's gonna go to a party

No.

and have a great

Might not be your scene.

Yeah. So just enjoy your day how you want to enjoy your day. If that means you just sat around a campfire eating s'mores all night, have a

Good for you.

That's probably my biggest regret. I didn't eat enough s'mores at my wedding.

I didn't have any s'mores at your wedding. I can't believe that.

were walking around trying to give them to me and I was like, Nah, I'm alright. I didn't actually feel that hungry. Did you find that? No.

Yeah. I don't remember eating a lot other than I had a meal and that, but yeah, I don't, I didn't eat like, I don't think I finished the dessert and stuff.

No, and I'm so glad, because I said to the pizza guy, Can you save us one for tomorrow? And we both brought a pizza back each, warmed it up, and then opened our wedding cards, because otherwise I wouldn't have had the pizza, because I

Oh, that's nice. Yeah. There's so much going on, isn't there? Yeah.

because you're like, Oh, yeah, but yeah.

Yeah. Yes,

let me be right in and let us know if you have been married, what you've done to try and avoid the blues, blues. Should we go on to the listeners questions and messages?

yes,

Cool, so first up we've got, My fiancé and I are seriously considering eloping. I want to have a wedding but would rather spend our money on a great honeymoon. I'd like to elope but I'm really anxious that I wouldn't feel like I'm getting married if that makes sense. I've been picturing my wedding day for years so it feels weird doing it otherwise. What do you think? Cool. This is kind of relevant to me a little

yes, I feel like, I feel like the only reason they're anxious about it is because they're thinking about what other people might think. Because it sounds like they really want, they really want to elope, so you should. And I feel like the only reason they're worried about what is because you, they probably think. Oh well everyone else probably expects us to have a wedding, they're gonna be invited and because actually, I think, I think otherwise you just do it when you don't

Yeah. And I

care. Yeah,

if that is the case and a hundred percent, yeah, you need to just do it, but you know, I think you need to really work out, is it what other people think or is it because it's actually what you want?

yeah, yeah,

sometime in May, we went all through my elopement and about it, and I very much said like, without a doubt, my elopement or our elopement, sorry, was the best day. of my life. I absolutely loved it. It was great. But, and I even said then I would have happily just carried on with life and not had a wedding day. But looking back, the little things that I loved from having a wedding day was like, having my bridal party, having my friends and family around us. Like, do you know what I mean?

no.

think you've got to really think about what you're gonna like potentially miss out on.

Yeah, what's important to you that you may miss from doing it? That way.

But going back to what we were just saying about wedding blues, and saying about if you're not a big party person, you might not enjoy it. If that's not you, then elopements great. And

Yeah.

think, like I said, I don't think I'd have felt like I would have missed out. But if you have been picturing your wedding day for years, then

Sort of conflicting.

you've got to kind of go with what you've been picturing

I, I remember you saying to me like how if that was your wedding and that's all you were doing was your elopement, you'd have been happy. Like you had, it was so good, like you

Yeah.

so much, like you would have been happy with just that actually.

But maybe you have a full wedding day. You could just have,

Have a party.

yeah, 100 percent. I

I know so many people, yeah, me too, people have gone off to, I know people have gone off to Vegas, got married, done it like that, and come back and just had a party in a hall.

Yeah,

Do you know what I mean? Like, you'd have to,

But you also don't need to have a full, like, elopement. You could just have, you, you don't need to just go you to, I mean, you could go like a small group of you and then have a

I know, I know a lot of people that are going and getting married in London and doing this like, Marleybone Town Hall wedding, like, and they're having like a small

Ivy, you know.

Yeah, and then and then having and then going off and then having like another do in like Italy or something

exactly. But also if you're going to spend those money on your honeymoon, like great. Like I would do that. I

Yeah,

a low one. Some of our friends did that. They eloped. They went, they took both sets of parents, went to the Lake District. Two weeks later, they had a party in a pub in one of our local pubs. It was a day thing. So they had at the pub made them a load of pizzas and it was just very chilled. Everyone wore their jeans kind of vibe. And then they went off. They went on honeymoon for three weeks because they

nice

into going

Into that.

So I don't, yeah. Yeah. I don't know, it depends. If you've always dreamt of walking down an aisle, everyone watching you, having loads of bridesmaids, then have your wedding day. But if that you with anxiety, then don't do it.

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's good. Good answer.

Yeah. Okay guys, well that's us for this week.

Thanks for listening.

Yeah, thank you so

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