Well, hello.
Hello,
It was the last wedding of the year for me. I have a cold.
rejoice. Oh, maybe
The pros and cons of my week done in one. Boom, let's sign off.
that's it. It's all that's all that happened.
That's literally all that happened to my week.
no. Yeah. But I sort of spread my child's germs to you and then you spread them back to me. So we're sharing is caring.
Yeah, Sharon's caring. Why not? Shall we get started?
do it.
Hi, I'm Hannah,
I'm Hayley,
and we are your wedding planning experts.
here to spill the tea on the inside of wedding planning and everything that goes with it.
Expect our honest opinions, the real juice on what happens on a wedding day,
With a few tips thrown in between.
and also just a chat between friends.
And of course, make sure you hit that subscribe button.
And let's get you wed!
Woo! So good. Exciting times. Oh,
I'm very excited to announce I had my last wedding of the year. Very excited. So excited. Do you know what? I literally ended on a, like, a bang. Is that the saying?
I was ending on a
On a high. Yeah.
fine.
Ended on a high because we just had the nicest couple
That's
it was just such a lovely wedding. And obviously the weather's just been so crap
Oh, it
and it was a, yeah, it was a teepee wedding. And it, it was the nicest day. It was just so bright outside. I mean, it was, it was chilly, but everybody sat outside. Yeah, it was. Everyone sat outside during the drinks reception, which was good because we were trying to get stuff done in the teepee and you know, when everyone like wants to come inside and you're like.
no, we're not done yet.
Yeah,
Stay out.
please go outside and she wanted everybody outside. She wanted that kind of outdoor, you know, so it was fine. And it was just, it was really nice. They had like a really small ceremony. So they basically, because obviously. Normally at the venue, you would get married outside, but obviously being the time of year, you can't guarantee it. So what they've done, they've almost created like a snug area, it's like a separate hat, but part of the teepee still, so it's inside.
Yeah, so they turned that around to be ceremony, but it only fits, like they had 40 people and that's like the max you could do in there, it's so tight. And then they had so they had their ceremony, which was a celebrant ceremony, they were already legally married. And then they invited all the rest of their guests, like half an hour after that ceremony had finished. So they had half an hour to get their like immediate family photos. Then everybody else arrived, which was so nice. So
nice.
yeah, that's good. It was, it was really nice.
that.
they had we sat everybody down. They had 90 guests in total and we had a fish and chip van. Yum.
I've been to a wedding with a fish and chip van before. Let me tell you, I love a fish and chips and they are
Fish and chips are just elite,
I was gonna say, that's elite. Elite wedding food that
elite wedding food. And honestly, it was so good.
a like truck in or something like
Yeah.
go for fish and chips
Oh, a hundred percent classic British
Come at me
Culinary delights. Yeah, so, and we've discussed this before about food trucks and obviously it was quite a high guest number, but what they did was under my expertise my, my expertise, my honestly, I've got a cold. I can't even think like my brain is not functioning. It was under my advice, my advice. My expertise from doing food trucks. I basically said to them, look, you can get people up table by table, but it's going to take a long time. It takes like five to 10 minutes per table.
It's going to be long. Or you can get it serviced, but you're going to need to find, do you even need to ask the fish and chip van or the venue for staff? So that's what they did. So the venue provided a few staff, the venue said, look, can you go get your coordinators to manage it? I was like, yes, absolutely fine. Then they said, The fish and chip van said, that's fine. But can we get, they had like a few vegans who haven't vegan burgers. A couple of people didn't eat fish.
They had sausage, a couple of kids, and there was like max 10. They were like, can we get those out first? And then just run with fish and chips. I was like, yeah, that's fine. As long as we start from table two for the diet trees. So we,
like proper traditional like wrapped up in paper?
so they had like. Yeah, yeah, almost. Well, no, not really. It was like, in like a tray, you know, like the
oh like the polystyrene trays
in one of those, but with paper then in the tray, and then the fish and chips, and the paper kind of wrapped over the top. Yeah, and we had the little fish and chip fork stuck them in the top. Yeah, so I, we had the fish and chip van outside, which wasn't far to walk. I stayed outside at the fish and chip van. Chloe was inside. Point like directing the staff. We had four members of staff and we literally just had like big wooden trays, which we could fit like four or five on each one.
We started from table two, got all the dietries done, then went back to the top table so we could do the full top table all at once, got them done and then just flow with the fish and chips. And for 90 people, it took us 25 minutes, which is actually really good.
really good.
Yeah. So Actually, I think it might have even been less.
of food once at a wedding when there
Oh no, it's so long.
sad I'm so sad.
Yeah, it might have even been 20 minutes. We've done it, we did it quick anyway. Considering we were also doing curry sauce and mushy peas at the same time.
Nice.
So yeah, it went really well.
sauce as well, but like,
And I love, that is literally what I had, so at the end, the guy was like, right, what do you want, and I was like, fish, chips, curry sauce, please.
Nice.
good, loads of vinegar, salt, and I literally sat on the back, just like, stuffing my face. The groom saw me on the way, honestly, I must have looked like the Cheshire Cat. Like, honestly, my face, I was so happy, I was carrying it, and he was like, you're alright, Oh, he was like, it's good innit? I haven't tasted it yet, but I'm so excited because I've just been stood in that van for however long, serving, like helping, serving all like smells, fish and chips.
I was like, Oh my God, I'm so excited for this.
Although I
So yeah.
bad for like people that work in fish and chip shops because they
Yeah,
of oil when they
I know. Bless them. And they, I was stood out the front talking to the staff like, it's really cold, isn't it? We're like moaned about it being cold and they're like sweating their tits off. I was like, sorry, guys.
40 degrees in here. Yeah.
The only downside was everyone, and I think something that maybe, I don't know if the fish and chip van or the couple like missed sight of was that they didn't have any tomato ketchup and everyone was asking for tomato ketchup.
what? I can't stand tomato ketchup. I like
Same!
I'm a mayo
Oh no, I don't like mayo
You don't
either, but I'm like,
mayo?
who has, there's me like ranting out of this fish and chip van. Barbecue sauce?
Wow, that's a real left fielder. I didn't see that one coming.
Yeah, no mayo, no tomato, no, none.
is like my
Disgusting.
and Richard get through so much mayonnaise, actually, actually embarrassing at night. I'm probably, that's probably why I'm so fat, but I don't care.
Well, you never had to take your own to this one.
God,
So,
I knew that, genuinely, if I knew that they were going to have a fish and chip van, I would actually take like a sachet of mayonnaise. Because how, I wouldn't eat it without, I wouldn't eat it without mayo. I'd
but I don't get it. I was literally ranting about people like you and the fish and chip fan. I'm like fish and chips come with curry sauce or mushy peas. That's it. Like you do and vinegar and salt. You don't add other sources. No, you add ketchup. It's like a burger and chips.
to a sausage over fish as well.
Oh yeah, you would have been a sausage one then. There weren't many sausages. Everyone went for fish. Yeah, you were the sausage gal. Yeah, no, it was quite controversial really. It's the same as when we do like hot pork baps and people ask for tomato sauce and mayo. No, it's disgusting. It comes with applesauce.
Please write in. Write in to us and let us know if you like mayonnaise
Yeah.
with your fish and chips.
Am I the arsehole for stopping our guests having tomato sauce?
Oh, massively?
But I think the fish and chip, I think what happened is, the fish and chip van had said we can do it at an extra cost because we have to buy a bottle per table, you've got 10 tables. Which fair play, it's an extra cost, it's actually not that cheap, tomato sauce. But
Tomato sauce gate. Yeah.
gate, you know, but I think they'd said no, it's fine. We'll just do curry sauce and mushy peas. So I don't know. I don't know who was at fault there, but anyway, they were happy. It all got eaten. And I tell you what, those polystyrene trays were empty when we did the clear up at the end. Wow. That, that went down a tree. Yeah, regardless of tomato sauce gate. Yeah, so it was very exciting. It was a nice one to end on. Last bit of the year, I felt a bit emotional at the end.
I'm not going to lie. I kind of sat in my car at the end like, oh, this is the year done. Ended on a, it's been a really good year. So yeah, I was really, really, really happy, but I'm also not going to lie. I'm was also, I'm slightly happy that wedding season is over and that's not in a bad way. That's just that. It's a lot.
you also need time to like sit and get ready and prepare for
Exactly.
because you've got
Yeah.
you have to start
Got my next year couples. Yeah,
obviously you're working with those couples already so
exactly.
might not be doing the actual wedding yet but you're still preparing for that wedding for those weddings
I've taken on, kid you not, Hayley, this week three new couples for next year for planning. Yeah, it's really, really good.
of people
Yeah, same.
i don't know about you but i've got a busy august next year
I've got a June, August yeah, June and August are my busy ones. September will pick up in the new year, I think.
But yeah, it's, but I wanted to kind of link this in, right, because I've been seeing on my famous Facebook groups and just in play, just in general, right, I've seen and heard a lot of people saying that, They feel almost guilty that, and I know a lot of you that are listening are couples that are planning, they're not necessarily had their wedding day, although we do still have a few but they almost feel guilty saying that they're glad their wedding is over.
And I almost wanted to flag this to people that are listening and planning their wedding is. Almost expect to potentially feel a bit like that and also know that it's okay. Like
totally.
I'm sitting here thinking, you know, is it really bad that, you know, I, this is my business. This is what I love to do. This is my passion, but I'm glad that this year is over. But at the same time, I know that that's okay because we need
I
downtime.
need to normalize that because actually it's a totally normal reaction to feel
Yeah.
because it's such a full on and intense sort of experience, isn't it? There's so much that goes into one day
Yeah. A
there's a lot of different components that come into play when you're planning that day
hundred percent.
every aspect of your life.
A lot of emotions.
many emotions and
Yeah.
doesn't even just, just end with you. It's like everyone around you, friends,
Yeah.
you and your partner, like sometimes it can bring, I mean, there's so much happiness and joy and whatever, like, but also it
Stress.
bring
Anxiety. A hundred percent.
totally normal when it's done to just be like, Oh, you know,
Yeah,
glad that's
thank God it's done. Yeah,
had an amazing time. It's fine to feel that both of those things.
absolutely fine. And I think, yeah, it's just, it's just highlighting that. And I think, yeah, like we just said, there's so many emotions. I think people don't always expect that to be an emotion, but. It can be,
so
and that's okay. Let's
you
stop,
It's
let's stop putting, let's make 2025 the year that we stop putting pressure on ourselves for feeling us like the amount of times I see people say like, Oh, is it really bad that I feel this way? Like, no, because that's how you are feeling. Maybe you need to look at why you're feeling that way. Like, has a potential, like, has a, like certain family member made it really stressful for you? Do you maybe need to relook at relationships with bridesmaids or, you know, but.
Totally.
If it's just that you, like, and I say this to all my, every time I have a consultation with couples that are looking for me as a planner, it's almost like they feel bad that they are looking for a planner because they're like, I should be able to cope with this and cope with life. Right.
Yeah,
feel bad about that. I think I do this as a full time job and it's a full time job because that's how much work there is to do.
it. And I don't think people realize, do they?
They say on average, it takes 200 hours to plan a wedding, right? So if you're doing that within nine, 12, you know, over a year's time. Like that's spread out. There's still a lot of hours a week that you're thinking about it. You're talking about it. Everyone's asking you questions about it. Like it can take over your life. And when you've got a,
side as
yeah, financially. Yeah.
cause stress, so.
Yeah. I'm not going to lie. I think I said this before, but when our wedding was over, I was just glad to have some money again because every month you're like squirreling away. Yeah. Literally. Yeah.
and then all of a sudden you're like, oh my god, I've got money!
But in a life where we've got like full time jobs, like it's the same as like us hiring a cleaner, like I just think it's the best thing you can do because when you're working the amount we work, and you've got lives and families and all these things happening, like hiring extra help doesn't mean that you're a bad person. Yeah,
totally there isn't and I do think that everyone has this thing like you're saying where if When you're about to say something like oh, you know, I'm glad my wedding's over. You're like, oh, I know it sounds bad And oh, I don't
yeah, a
almost apologizing making like excuses for yourself and it's like
hundred percent.
say yeah I'm glad my wedding's really panicking. I was quite anxious
Yeah, I enjoyed the day, but the planning was shit. Yeah
I'm glad I got some money now, you
Yeah,
that's fine. It's
also planning doesn't naturally come to everybody and I think again there needs to be more emphasis on using wedding planners and and Things like that because you yeah, you it doesn't naturally come to everybody Some people are just very unorganized and that's that's life
And that's why you accept what your strengths and your weaknesses are.
Yeah,
think that your wedding is going to be better, if you hire somebody to plan it and organize it for you, you know, then
do it.
it.
Or bring in a friend that, that's like some of my friends I could think of that I would think, Oh God, they'd, they'd be so unorganized if they were planning their wedding. They'd want to just leave it to somebody else. Like, but then there's other people in our friendship group that I'm like, God, if they were planning their wedding, they'd be hot on it.
Yeah.
Bring those, you know, everybody has like pros and cons. Everyone's got different personalities, like bring them in, utilize their organized side. You know, the friends that always organizes the trips and the, you know, the birthdays and the birthday parties, get them to help you.
them involved.
Getting involved. So yeah, I just, I wanted to flag that because I was feeling a little bit like that. I was like, I'm really, really happy. That I've had such a good year, but at the same time, I'm really glad that I'm not going to be out working till God knows what time in the morning every Saturday night for the next, for the foreseeable. Yeah, exactly.
And also the other thing I wanted to bring up was the amount already just from me posting on Saturday, a few people have said to me, Oh, so I saw on your Instagram that your weddings are done for the year. So what are you going to do for the next, the rest of the year? I like. Are you done? And I'm like,
Just gonna sit and twiddle your thumbs.
yeah, I wish it's honestly, isn't it nuts? Like that people think that and I, I said to mine, I was like, I actually need to take on like one wedding a week. So do they think I just work like one day a week and that's it?
that's what I get a lot of actually, I get a lot of people wondering what I do other than on the day. And it's like, literally a wedding day takes, weeks to prepare for,
Yeah.
leading up to it is all the prep, like, like the physical labor, but
Yeah.
of the ordering, the logistics, like planning stuff, proposals, talking to your clients back and forth, meeting at venues,
Yeah,
like that, that goes on for like months before.
literally, there's a lot.
week. It's just constant work.
Yeah.
yeah.
I always say, right. So I have a minimum amount of hours. I have to be in the office and that covers me. Black baseline planning for my couples, like the minimum amount of hours I could do for them. My social media, keep it up with my accounts, the podcast and some other admin bits. I do that is 24 hours a week, right? So 24 hours I have to have as a minimum in my office. So you think if you're then doing a Like some wedding days are 16 hours, right?
which is quite normal for us, that's 40 hours. That's without your setup. That's without, that's without, I'm talking meetings and stuff. So you can see how over summer we're working crazy. Like we're doing 50, 60 hour weeks.
the day where, sorry, a weekend where you've got like two weddings in a weekend. So you've
Well,
doubled. It's not ideal, is it? But
yeah,
you
yeah, well, as a classic canner, isn't it like I'm trying to avoid doing that because you could tell by the amount of hours, but I mean, a couple of times you've told me off this year for doing it, haven't you? And you can see why?
Yeah,
it's people don't realize that that 24 hours is yeah, what we need to do to keep the business afloat.
that's it.
So over winter, yes, I'm not going to be working on weddings, but those 24 hours, that also then mean I need more time to cover site visits, meetings, things like that. So that really pushes you to like 30, 35 hours. And then I need those extra hours to be like catching up my website. Like I need to update my portfolio on my website.
the other bits
Yeah,
keeping yourself relevant Advertising and then like
which we don't have time in the summer to do as we've just proven.
your own bookkeeping and
Yeah,
You know,
exactly.
have an accountant So I do
No,
and that just takes me
it's long.
to sit and sort of file It's so boring, but all of that stuff takes a long time and it's like, you know I
Yeah.
here and do nothing
And I was also thinking about this earlier, like businesses employ like full time business development managers, but we're. Business developing ourselves, you know, looking out for new venues that can recommend you go in and meet and these people go into networking events, go in and meet a new suppliers, looking at your Google ads, looking at your website of what you can do next, what you can blog about next. What are people, what are the trends?
What are people like all these things we have to keep on top of, we have to be like at the top of our game, knowing what people want, looking at celebrity weddings and what's going to be popular next year.
ends. And it's not like
Yeah.
to five job. It's
It's really not.
wake up
No.
and it's like you're literally doing it all hours of the day. 'cause
All hours.
you're on ins,
Yeah.
media, you're like,
Mm hmm.
some photos of
Yeah.
and stuff. And it's like, oh, just reply to this out of
Yeah.
you know, there is no rest. So if you were
No rest for the wicked.
you do, it'd be a lot more than you think, I
Oh, 100%. And when do we ever take like our five weeks annual leave a year? And do you know what? This year I am going to over the winter probably work less days because I, do you know what? I don't, we don't take annual leave. We work crazy hours and we're probably on minimum wage.
exactly, and it should be at least one of the perks of being self employed
Well, exactly.
to be able to take time off whenever you like, but then you get busy and you can't, so maybe, you
right? I mean, it's probably not going to happen, I'm not going to lie, but I'll
like
try.
Christmas, I was like, oh this year I won't take on so much work because I want to sort of spend some time with
Yeah.
or whatever, and then it's like, I've had some offers like for work and
she's doing a Hannah.
on a couple of days before Christmas and I'm then I start to feel guilty but it's like people don't realize like I'm I'm in charge of making my money like the
Yeah.
in and
Yeah.
a lot of pressure
100%.
to turn stuff down especially
It is.
appealing.
You've got to take those opportunities when you, when you've got them at the end of the day. Yeah. No, I know what you mean. I'm the same with freelance and I've taken on a bit of freelance in December, but it'd have been nice to just be like, I'm not working in December, but yeah, I love it as well. You know, I'll be bored by then.
That's
Be bored of the laptop.
I'm bored of chilling out and doing nothing like everyone thinks to do.
Bored of doing nothing. Watching telly all day. Yeah. It's all fun and games.
But
How's your week been anyway?
yeah, it's been good. So I've just been preparing for got a wedding in a couple of weeks time so
Ooh.
just been making sure
Are you telling me?
sending out boring things like contracts and
Oh,
sure that ready and prepared so I can start
nice.
and and We went to a networking event this week,
We did.
fun. So
have seen on the Instagram we did a little video
was so good. So we
We had such a good time.
to London.
We did.
So we're part of like a a networking group which is run by Becca Poutney
Yeah,
went and met she did like a live podcast.
she did.
which was really good so we went and listened to that and then it was a chance to kind of like mingle with other suppliers and then it was a lovely venue called the Biltmore in Mayfair in London
It was nice, wasn't it? We got a little, little tour, didn't we?
a little tour, we went into the bedrooms and
Oh, we did.
it was really good.
Yeah
so yeah, now hopefully get together again for some work or something,
we will,
love
sure.
it was lovely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we also got a really good Wagga Mamas
did
you just always pick the elite, elite. Wagamama. It's like, we, we have a good
we
going on now,
my god
and the
We had like a buffet We
and we're like, oh, can't be arsed to go anywhere.
way to the, lovely hotel
We literally did it, didn't we?
and so that was really good. It was nice to get out and just be with other suppliers and have a chat I'm not very, do you know what? I'm, I've basically followed Hannah around like
She did. It's like a little lost sheep. No, she didn't really. She didn't. She's
like oh,
fine.
hi, it's me, hi,
And literally, every time, people are like, Oh, so what do you do? Because that's like the first question every supplier asks you. And I'm like, Oh, I'm a wedding planner. And then I look at Hayley, she's like, I'm a florist. And then I'm like, And together,
And
we are podcasters. And Hayley's like, Oh yeah, forgot about that.
Yeah. And it was good actually because obviously they were doing the live podcast which
were.
on nicely
Yes.
we are going to be doing our own live podcast to celebrate our A year, a whole year
year.
of our podcast. So that's going to be on the 6th of November
yep,
and that's at Kelmarsh Hall in Northampton. So we're going to be doing Glass of Fizz, popcorn, live podcast, lots of laughs,
I'm so excited. It's gonna be so much fun and we're going to get all like, you're going to be able to like, send us your questions on the night and stuff so we can answer them live on the spot, have some guests, you know, so yeah, we're looking forward to it, aren't we, we thought we got to do something for the one year.
Yeah, definitely. And I think, you know, we, we've we've got a good following now. Like, everyone seems to be,
Yeah, join it,
in
hopefully.
with us. And so, hopefully, people will come and,
Yeah, come and down. There's like, there's some really nice places nearby. Pop, pop us a message if you aren't local. If you need to stay, make a, make a night of it. Cause there's some really nice like places you can stay nearby. There's some really nice restaurants nearby. If you want to go for dinner first, make a night of it. Whack a mamas, yeah. Yeah, so we're looking forward to it. But we'll put, what we'll do is we'll put the link in the show notes.
All the show description for this episode. Yeah. So you can literally just go on, buy your tickets and then yeah, come along. It'd be a couple of hours long and yeah. Get to meet us. Say hello.
Say, hey, it's us. Face to the Voices.
We also need to like. celebrate the fact that not only have we done a year, we've done a year with no breaks. Like, I feel like not many podcasts do that.
Literally, we just keep going.
We, we go, we just go and go.
just don't stop. We don't end. Yeah.
Through Christmas, we did Christmas through my wedding, through my honeymoon, through you having Lily, like, Oh, oh, I
Yeah.
Like, we haven't stopped through us being ill, like, weddings.
going actually.
It is, because I'm not going to lie, I didn't, I didn't know how we'd do it through wedding season.
Yeah,
of thought we'd, it would be like, oof, I
oof.
know, we ain't got time for this. But we made time for it.
did it.
We prioritised.
and like everything else, there's lots of other things that go on behind the scenes. So
Yeah.
of the social media and everything, and
You do the editing.
So
Yeah.
of other stuff we have
There
as
is.
So we
Mm hmm.
to get
Yeah,
week,
dealing with the tech systems as non tech people. Oh,
Yeah, the tech's not been kind to us, is it?
no, it's not, it's not been kind. It's caused a few, it's caused a few time delays. We also need to redo our photos because Hayley is not happy with the current situation. So we need to,
wait for people to turn up to the live recording and see I'm not actually a fat fuck.
she was pregnant bloated,
Yeah,
pregnant swollen, swollen, so yeah. Very exciting. Very exciting. So yeah, that we are very excited for that. Please come along and see us. We're looking forward to it. And yeah, so we're just getting ready for next year now. And please keep sending in your questions and your stuff to ask us about next year. But we also wanted to have a little chat today about wedding venue supplier. Lists,
Yes.
sure some of you are going to be joining us. They're going to be planning their weddings for next year, maybe even 2026, and you might be at the point where you're like, right, we are finding our suppliers. And I think this is quite a hard point, isn't it? It's a hard
Yeah. I
to be in.
yeah, this is when you're, you're about to sort of embark on the mission.
Embark on the journey.
you've got to get all of your supplies together and you've got to start like looking for people and it can first off seem a little bit overwhelming.
huge. Yeah. I think it's like the, one of the biggest questions we get asked, isn't it? Is where do I start finding my wedding suppliers
Yeah.
do you know you're not being ripped off and how do you know you're not, you see so many scammers nowadays, don't you? Like, how'd you know you're not being scammed? How'd you know you're getting a good price? How'd you know you're getting a good supplier? Like, how'd you know what to ask for? Yeah.
That's what I would care about. I mean, don't, sorry, I hope no one actually now thinks that. They will turn up on the day. That's why you have a contract.
Yeah. If you book someone good. Yeah. A hundred percent. And
Exactly.
the thing that. You know, we tend to always advise and I think isn't always a good piece of advice. Always look for recommendation. And we were literally banging on about this the other day. Always go by recommendation. And one of the biggest things is, is that normally when you book a venue, they will give you a list.
yep.
wanted to talk through the pros and cons of having these lists, right? So obviously a massive pro first up is that they're going to obviously be good suppliers, right?
the best recommendation, isn't it really?
Yeah. Yeah.
sat there and said, well, this, these people, you know, we highly recommend you use them,
Yeah.
they, you know, it's, it's quite a big tick there, I think.
Because they've probably worked there before.
so know the venue.
Yeah, they know the venue. The venue has gone, Oh, these are good people. These are nice people. We'll, we'll put them forward.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely. And, and, and I think it, like you say, it's a very big pro of them knowing the venue, especially with like photographers, maybe, and caterers, definitely.
caterers and photographers are a big one. It's when they know like access
Yeah.
good spots for photos, like also the time, like how the light might be at certain times of the day, like funny things like that.
yeah, where the sun rises, where the sun sets. What do you, what do you think for florists, for you as a florist?
it really depends on the type of venue because you could have a venue that's, you know, Like listed or it's got certain restrictions in place
Yeah,
venue and it's like you get like places So English Heritage Accredited places tend to be quite Sort of strict on their
yeah,
list. And what it is, is if you're working in a place like that, they might not want water using in some
yeah,
not want Oasis using in some areas. So if they've got a suppliers list that, that florist probably knows that well.
yeah.
as an outsider, you've got to have more questions to ask. However,
Yes, it saves them time, I suppose, essentially.
But to be honest I think like everybody, you kind of just adapt to your
Yeah.
you, I often do a site visit anyway.
Yeah,
I've not been to a venue,
I'm exactly the same.
haven't been to is
Yeah.
going around, but if it is somewhere you've not been to before, it's good to do a site visit. And if you're using a florist, that's not on the supplies, And you really want to use them, then I would, yeah, just say, can we do a site visit
Yeah.
to anyway. But but yeah, I don't really think it's necessary for
No. Mm hmm
a supplier's list. Same with like cake and hair and makeup and
Yeah,
kind of more of an external factor.
yeah.
like when you're like a caterer, you're
Oh, I had so important. Yeah, understanding it.
like, becoming at one with the
Yeah, literally the other thing you find with catering as well And why a lot of venues stipulate you have to use the caterer is that people don't realize it's an external caterer So if then if your guests not happy with the food and they leave them a bad review or something it can reflect Or you know people just talk and they're like, oh well the foods crap there,
Oh,
it's not the caterer It's not the venue, sorry, it's the caterer.
Yeah.
I'm similar as a planner. Like, it's actually, I wouldn't say it's rare that we don't go back. It's not rare that we don't go back to the same venue. We do, but we actually only take on 5 full plans a year, 10 on the day management. So I only take on 15 clients, right? 5 for my planning. So that's only 5 venues in terms of planning that I'm going to each year. So it just depends what.
And I don't, I definitely don't need to have been to that venue before because like you said, we'd go straight away. We'd go for a site visit. So like, for example, the three new clients I've just taken on, one of them I've worked at before, but the other two I haven't. So I will go in. I'm now booking in site visits when I go to the venue, I then say to the team, can you send me a copy of their contract or sometimes the client sent it to me anyway, and your stipulations.
So it normally be things like what time you can set up, what time you have to sit down, whether you can have candles lit or not, you know, those are the kind of things like if you have to use a certain gator or so there's certain venue stipulations, but we just ask for them and we're very used to that.
Yeah.
doesn't really matter to us too much. I think another big one for suppliers is like access is, is huge.
like, a big
Like London weddings, where you can park, where you can unload there. That is always a ball ache, isn't it? So if you have,
on parking outside and
yeah. So if you have worked there before, it is helpful to know, but I kind of wanted to flip it today and I'll tell you why I wanted to kind of chat about this is I actually had a consultation recently with a couple who, this is a while back now, but I thought I was thinking about it and I thought I need to talk about this now. Now it's been, now it's been a while since I've spoke to them. And they basically were a bit like, Oh, you.
And they were asking me about vendors that I'd worked, suppliers that I'd worked with. And basically they'd already booked their photographer. They were like, Oh, have you worked with this photographer before? And I said, no. And then they asked me about the DJ. We're thinking of booking this DJ. Have you worked with them before? No. And they basically gave me the feedback that they didn't feel that although I had said, have worked at that venue before and worked. A lot in that area.
Like we, it's one of our most popular areas. They felt that they were being misled because I hadn't worked with these suppliers that were on the venues recommended list. So these suppliers, although they hadn't told me this photographer and this DJ were on this suppliers list that booked them off the list. Right.
I
And they were booking me to help continue the planning process. Now I've been thinking about it more and more over the weeks and I'm like, look.
If you as a couple are going on to a supplier's, a venue's recommendations list, right, and booking all your suppliers, what's the point in having, well, there obviously there is still a point of having a planner if you want them to oversee communication and things like that, but as a planner, my big opinion on planning is Suppliers lists is they're great to help, but all you're going to be getting really is a lot of weddings that might look the same.
Like if you're all booking the same photographer, the same florist, same cake, you know, and I kind of feel like,
it?
yeah, and that's why you book me as a planner. And when I'm a planner and actually they, this couple went to their photographer and queried them about it and said, Oh, how come you've not worked with Hannah before? And she said herself, well, there's a lot of photographers and there's a lot of planners out there.
the amount of like supplies that you have to choose from
Yeah.
It doesn't I mean I actually a lot of the time I feel like couples don't actually go off the suppliers list anyway
No, not necessarily, because of that reason.
so
They want something different. They want to be different.
it. They want to go for their own style and they want to say that
Yeah.
know, if they've seen like a style they really like, they've looked up on Instagram, they're probably going to go through and find
Yeah.
on the style that they like, and that they know
Exactly.
whereas the suppliers that the venue are offering will probably only offer one kind of look.
Yeah.
style. So it's not really, I feel like that's. Like one of the cons of a not con as in, you're being conned. It's like one of the downsides of a supplier's is you're kind of limited to
Yeah.
can do.
Yeah, and obviously everybody has their own style, don't they? And obviously, you know, it might be that they offer three or four different florists who have got a very different style.
Yeah, if you're looking on Instagram, at the venue's Instagram and you're flicking through and you're thinking, I want something completely outside, again, it might be that you can go to the florists that are recommended and they're happy to do something outside the box, but if you're really anti your wedding, looking the same as everything that's on the venue's Instagram, then going and choosing a supplier that everybody else on that Instagram is, is used, you're, you're probably not going
Gonna achieve that. And I just think that as a planner, for me, what I'm always trying to bring people is bringing their personalities into the day, right? So I'm all about making it a completely different wedding. So if you go on my portfolio on my website, every single wedding looks completely different,
yeah.
I use a different supplier. I don't stick to the same suppliers. I always use different people, as you know, and it's,
boring otherwise
exactly.
like the fact that you have like a different kind of breadth of work, like you've got this big, you know, portfolio of different kind of styles
Yeah.
makes you more, I don't know, I'd be more, want to go with you more than
Yeah.
the same, same,
Same thing. Exactly.
really testing yourself
No,
So,
you just sit in any comfort zone. I, it would literally be like you book me as a planner and I just ring up the same contact. So, right. Haley prefer on this date yet. Lovely booked. Whereas actually I'm looking at the couple, their personality, what they want and who fits. So there's certain people that will come to me and say, this is the kind of flowers we want. And I think Haley's the perfect person for that, you know, and my network is huge. So. I'm such a big networker.
I know so many suppliers that when I'm talking to a couple, I'm automatically thinking of the team that I could put together that are going to work really well for this couple. And that actually excites me. So I do think it was, yeah, it was quite a bizarre, real conversation, really, with that couple, because I was a bit like, well, actually, if you're concerned that I'm not working with them.
All the venues recommended suppliers, then you're better off just booking all the venues recommend suppliers yourself.
them
Yeah, and then get a planner to just deal with the communication if that's what you want to save time on. But yeah, I think I do think sometimes that is the downside to recommended lists is, is, is being able to step outside of the comfort zone of having that list and being a bit different.
yeah, yeah, I
So we like different.
I like different. I love a challenge and I
Yeah,
like it's hard as well. Like if you're not on someone's suppliers list, but you work there a lot as well, that's, that's another like icky situation. Like,
yeah,
of venues that I work with often, but I'm not on their suppliers list. It's like, but they, but then to be on their suppliers list, you have to pay.
yeah.
So I feel like
Yeah, we've spoke about this before, haven't we? And it's a difficult, it's a grey, it is a grey area.
sort
And obviously, like we say, there are massive pros, and it's great that venues have these lists. But at the same time, I think a big one for me is photographers, I tell you. Because, you know, when you get like those, what we call the hero shots, the shot that you're going to print and put on your wall. I sometimes think that when you get a photographer that's never worked at the venue and turns up, you get completely different shots because they've got a different eye.
Whereas when you've got used and they're recommended photographers, you're going to get those. They've obviously already got that. photo eye. They're like, yeah, this works really well there. done 30 weddings there. You're going to have that same photo as the other 30 weddings, do you know?
Yeah.
And there's some, there's some venues actually locally to me that really fall in this trap because they, every wedding they have is the same suppliers,
Yeah.
the same suppliers.
And
And you,
like it's yeah. And they always look the same. The photos are always
Yeah,
And
same colors, the same decor, the same, oh yeah, the same photos, the same food. You could literally just cut the,
Yeah.
literally, we're not about the, we're not about the wedding factories, the, the copy and paste photos, are we? So,
No.
but yeah, we thought we'd just go through the pros and cons anyway, of those Yeah, and I thought it was just quite an interesting one from that conversation with that couple.
Yeah, I
you know what, if that's, if that's a, a, a be all and end all for you that you want your suppliers to have all worked there before, then great. But yeah, that's some food for thought. Yeah,
but I think it's good to just understand what a suppliers list is there to do.
yeah,
and if it fits into what you want, because if you do want a wedding that's sort of a bit unique, even though it's a venue that people use a lot for a, for a wedding,
yeah.
what you want your wedding to stand out and be real personable to you. Then I think it's nice to kind of steer away from that list of parts.
Exactly. Definitely. Shall we go to the listeners questions and messages then?
Yes, so got one. I am getting married next year for the second time. My other half has children with his ex and wants her to attend. Am I the arsehole for not wanting her there? Well,
let you begin with this one.
I mean, I can
You have kids, so you might get this more than me.
do you know what? I, it depends what the relationship's like.
it's true.
I'd want my, my other half's ex at my wedding. No.
No, I don't.
don't see why she needs to come.
No, and I feel like, look, I don't have kids, but I feel like if this situation was ever part of my life, I would want to have a good relationship with my ex's other half, but only to a point of, oh, has she been good at school today?
It's
Yeah.
I
she dinner? Not yeah, do you want to come to my wedding? I feel like.
don't
And why does he feel the necessity to have her there?
he wants to rub it in.
Maybe, but that's a bit awkward, like.
wouldn't be happy with them coming, to be honest. Especially if you're starting a new life with a new, like, In April.
Yeah, you want to, yeah, exactly. And almost like, is it to the kids, like, You want to show that you're now a family to the, to his kids, not like, oh, you need to have your mum there.
Yeah,
know what I mean? Like, why, why would they even feel the need? I don't, I don't know.
the kids would come but not not her.
Yeah. Do you know, the only time I would get this is if you were in a man woman relationship and you split up, the other person then went into a same sex relationship.
Yeah
And it was more that, like, life changes, but you all stayed very good friends. If you, like, say your, say, like, your ex husband was still, like, your best friend in the world, but you just didn't love him anymore because you actually liked women, for example, you know, and came out all those years later, I'd kind of get that because it's almost like your best mate being there.
it depends on the relationship, doesn't it?
Yeah, I don't know. I feel like this is an awkward one.
relationship this beginning and the wedding is like that fresh start and like this is
Yeah,
I do feel like no matter I just don't I mean personally I wouldn't Invite
want my ex there. Like, but at the same time, first up, no, you are not the arsehole at all. I think this is a really difficult scenario, but I don't, I don't know how you would go about, I suppose you've just got to be honest to your future husband or wife.
should understand. Why would they want to come anyway?
Yeah, I feel like, That is a good point, Hayley. I wonder if you have asked if they, if your ex has, if your future husband or wife, I don't know if this is a man or woman writing this in, but if your other half hasn't asked them yet, it'd be interesting to see if the ex would say yes or no. Because like, if somebody said to me, like, just out of being nice, do you want to come to my wedding to my new partner? I'd be like, no, that's weird. Oh, I don't, why'd I do that?
I had a day off from looking after the kids and
Yeah!
off and do whatever. You know? I
Awkward. I wonder if it's like a situation where actually it's like a new split up there and they have a baby and
want to
baby can't,
This is the sort of thing
yeah.
magazine.
Take a break! Yeah, tell us more, but no, you're not the arsehole at all. That's our answer. I think all you can do is have the conversation with your other half and just say, look, I really don't feel comfortable.
Yeah,
persuade him to elope and then he ain't got to worry about it.
that's it.
Or pick a venue that's really small capacity.
It's only around
And be like, Oh no, she can't be on the guest list. Cool. Okay. Next up we've got my RSVPs. I feel like this, this is a regular question, by the way.
people.
Yeah. My RSVPs were due two days ago and 30 percent haven't responded. What do I do?
You do what I do and get your mum to ring round and chase
Oh yeah. Give, give that a call.
like my, what's it called when someone's,
You're a little messenger.
debt
Yeah. Yeah. You're middle man.
my muscle. She was like ringing everyone like, sorry you haven't yet got back to the RSVP. Yeah.
That is a very good job to delegate. You know, like when you're like one of those people that like wants full control, but you're like, Oh God, the mother in law's moaning that she's not involved. Delegate this job out and get them to say to people, look, unless you RSVP like today, we need to get the numbers to the caterers. Like, we'll just put you down as no, like. So it might just be that people feel bad for, like, saying I don't know.
terrible at like
Yeah, there's some people that are just shy to reply, and yeah, and just life gets in the way.
just
if you're one of those people that are doing the bloody postal RSVPs, then I don't blame them, because that drives me crazy.
old school.
2024 have a website where I can click yes or no? Done.
have no excuse. If they can go on their phone and click a
Yeah.
or no,
That's bad.
Then if they can't seriously do that with like three months of
Yeah.
maybe you
Yeah, that's stupid.
'em there actually. Anyway.
Do you know what I sometimes think as well is that sometimes people put too long of a Like, obviously you want to give people time, but if you're sending your invite I spoke to somebody the other day and they're like, Oh yeah, we really need to get our invites out, our wedding's next June. And I was like, you really don't? Yeah, I say four to six months in advance. Like, do you save the dates?
But yeah, and I sometimes think like, if you're sending them out like, 10 months in advance and you're giving people till like, You give them like a six month window.
Yeah,
that invite, I'd think, well, I don't even know what I'm doing next week. So do you know what, I'm going to park it and relook at it. And then you just forget.
then you're
So I think,
Yeah,
yeah, again, I think that's why doing them four to six months before give them like a four, eight, four to eight week window to respond.
Yeah,
Also always put that window a couple of weeks before you actually want them to reply.
I think so. I, I did that. I, I gave them like a day and it was quite a while before I
Yeah, a
fair because I just
little buffer. Yeah, exactly.
are like,
So that's what I would do. I think that's a very, very good, good advice, Hayley, is get your mum
your
or get mother in law or the groom if he wants a job or a bridesmaid if there's something, whoever's gagging for a job, whoever keeps asking you.
if you, if I can
Yeah.
see if they meet that.
Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, everyone has group chats nowadays, literally like reminder guys in the group chat, or if you do have a website or you've sent out your invites electronically, there normally is like a way on there that you can like send out a blaster,
Yeah.
blaster or whatever it's called. Blaster you know what's it called on WhatsApp now? A broadcast. That's it. Saying guys,
Ah, so funny!
Oh dear.
dear.
Okay guys, that's us for this week. Do not forget to book your tickets to the live podcast. There's going to be limited availability, so click the link, get your tickets.
wait to see you there.
We can, you know where to find us, send in your questions. You, we are on Instagram at let's get, at let's get you read podcast at gmail. com is our email address. So yeah, we'll see you next week.
week!
Bye.
Bye!