More Wedding Chat...Is being a Bridesmaid becoming too expensive?!

Well, it's Christmas party season officially. Actually,

your sparkly jumpers people. Oh,

wear a sparkly jumper. We just dress all in, all in black. The old event managers do.

Black's a slimming colour.

It is. I say it's Christmas party season, but they actually started a while ago. I just haven't

I've seen people doing Christmas parties in like, September, October. Yeah, Yeah, I have.

them in January because obviously they're busy over Christmas. Hospitality. But yeah, that's

true. But September, October, yeah,

in Cornwall for a week and then I've been the freelance I've been doing has been more like, like award ceremonies and stuff actually, lately. So yeah. But no, I'm on, I'm on the Christmas parties now. I'm only doing a couple, but yeah. Shall we get started and I'll tell you all about it? Hi, I'm Hannah,

And I'm Hayley.

and we are your wedding planning experts!

Here to spill the tea on the inside of wedding planning and everything that goes with it.

Expect our honest opinions, the real juice on what happens on the wedding day,

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and also just a chat between. friends.

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Yes!

up, at the top of the podcast, please make sure you're leaving us some lovely reviews. We need the reviews. It really helps us get up the old Spotify, Apple chain of command.

it does. Please leave your reviews. Good ones, obviously. We don't want any

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Go, go,

Why are you listening actually if you don't

Yeah, exactly. Go, go, I don't know, go online and do your wedding planning. But leave us a review if you enjoy it. Five stars. Thank you so much. I just thought I'd throw that in there because I haven't said that for a while. So yeah, podcast the other day and they did it and I thought We need to do that, more on

please leave us a review.

How are you?

I'm good, I'm good. I'm still knees deep in pine. Um, but I fun day off the other day, morning off. So we actually took for a Christmas photo shoot. And it was so

I can't wait to hear about

I cannot wait to get the photos back. She is so cute. I literally can't deal with her. I know she's, I know I'm biased, she's my child, but

Yes, she is

real cute though. So we we booked in with the lady that actually did your wedding

Yes! I sent it to you, didn't I? I was like, oh,

You were like, she's doing mini Christmas

is it the

And it was in so it was in near used to out in Northampton. And it was in this like industrial kind of warehouse there. I think they used to be like military what would you call Yes. Yeah.

to live in Weedham. Yeah. Hey,

So it was in, it was like a, yeah, like an old depo.

she's hired that? Or she just hired the space for the day or

Yes, it was like it was called the Light Room. So,

yes.

and it was really cool. It good. It was like the exact kind of vibe I was hoping for. So, there was like a little Christmas tree all lit up with like warm white lights and then she had like little clementines

oh, oh, so she'd done a little backdrop kind of

it was amazing. It was so cute. And

And there like a screen or something or the wall like white or

there was like a screen behind it, and then yeah, and then she had some candles and stuff, and it was just really, and we sat Lily there, and she gave Lily a little mince pie. Oh, and she ate

Were you like, um, sorry, she's not allowed to eat sugar. Ha ha

I was like, oh no, sugar. No, she

She's gonna choke is what Hayley always

she was

and give Lily things. Yeah,

No, she was fine, so. No, She was

she is so cute. only thing I'll say about Lily lately is she's got to that age where like, Hayley literally disappears for like, out the corner of her eye and she's like,

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know why she's like that. I mean,

I feel like all babies go through that phase, Yeah. where they're like, where's my mum? And she's looking at me like,

Who are you? Oh!

might be you? love me, Lily bear?

I took her with me to the Wholesalers as well this week and it was so funny. I took her with me and she, she loves it. absolutely loves it. Looking at all the flowers. And, But there's the one guy that works there and every time he sees her, because I've taken her a few times, he will go, Oh, hello, Lily. And she just, like, starts crying quite badly. And every time And I'm

like, oh please just don't say hello? to

hello? Because

She is a very happy she's just not happy when you leave the vicinity. Like, if she feels like you've gone anywhere, it's like hello, why are you not taking me with you?

Excuse me. She's good, she gets a FOMO.

Yeah. I'm so excited to see these pictures. Did she have a Christmas outfit on?

had, so I got this little outfit from Vintage. It was like a, it was like kind of like a beige y colour. It had this little frilly collar, like, with little red flowers on it and little red tights.

Did you guys get in the pictures or was it just

we had some with us as well, yeah, so it was nice,

Nicely, you're all dolled up to the

Yeah, I was wearing jeans and a shirt but,

Oh, fair play, fair play. I saw Saying that they would be done in like, the next couple of weeks. Like, pre Christmas. Really? You want them kinda like now so you can quickly get some Christmas cards

my plan was to have them made into Christmas cards.

Yeah, you'll be able to do that still, surely. just message her and say, could you just send me like, one of the best ones or something? I did, I think I did that. I asked her to send me one picture. I can't remember what it was for now. Yeah, I can't remember. I think it was, we'd already had our teaser, but I wanted a specific photo for something. I can't remember what. But, um,

that I suppose,

yeah. you could say, can I have one? I just want to do it, get a Christmas card because you'll get, you can get stuff printed within a couple of days now, can't you? I also want to. receive one, please. Thank you so much.

course.

Although I did say in the last episode that I've just put out a call to say

Don't waste your

No, but I'll put it on my desk. I'll put it on my desk.

she deserves a special place.

Yeah, like a picture of a lily bear at Christmas. cute. Bless her.

so that was, that was a nice little change to working, so that was really fun, but, yeah. Otherwise, just, just busy still, busy still Maurice. Yeah, just don't

should have done? You should have taken a reef to put in the backdrop.

hashtag Bloomfield.

Yeah, yeah, literally. You would have got a lot of likes on that post. On Instagram, I'm telling you, people love a

they do. She's a good selling point.

Oh

How's your week, Bim?

Yeah, good, so I was working a Christmas party last night. Yeah, it was good. it wasn't too late either, which was nice. We were just doing the catering side. So, yeah. everyone was in the festive spirit. The usual thing of no one really wants to eat. They just

just want a drink. Yeah, that's good. Yeah.

But honestly, it's like a thing where like, companies just forget to tell their dietary requirements to places. It's just a bit carnage, really. So you go to put food down, and you're like, Yes, this one's no dietary requirements. And people are like, Oh, I'm a vegetarian, I'm a vegan, I'm a this, I'm a that, and you're like Thank you for telling us in

Yeah!

but Yeah! I suppose it's, I always feel like the Christmas party gets left to like a PA or like somebody in HR or somebody that's just a bit more organized than everybody else. So when you're actually trying to do your normal job, planning stuff like that around it's not fun. Always easy is it?

no, that's fair enough, I suppose.

they're always a little bit carnage if I'm honest. You've always got, I did we were serving mains and I saw a woman slumped over on her table already and she was very young and the rest of the table were like older kind of women and they were all like, oh god is she all right? Is she all right? Because she'd obviously just had too many to drink already. They just, they get too excited too early. Hayley. Yeah, she did. So, yeah. Lots of lads that are like, Nah, eating's cheating, when

What? Oh,

food. Yeah, so,

my god. Remember those days?

Remember they say that. And then by dessert, everybody's just up and the DJ wants everybody up. So, you're just trying to, my biggest bugbear with stuff like that is, you've got all these round tables, yeah, so I'm normally on the floor, like showing people where they're serving or whatever, making sure everybody's happy.

get through

there We're like two hot plates like mm. Excuse me

I feel like people just completely oblivious

Yeah, come on. Can you not see?

I'm a bit like that I'm gonna have to move flowers from like the church or whatever to the venue and then you're trying to move through like guests and They just stand there. You're like holding these really heavy massive arrangements I couldn't be any more like in the way if you tried like

exactly. Yeah. So that was that. And other than that, we are, do not forget our live podcast show, 29th of January, and I did mention without Hayley's permission in the last episode that we would discuss an offer code. So we've put a code together for you. What is the code?

code is podoffer, so it's P O D for dog, O F F E R for ro

Romeo. Romeo done.

Yeah.

offer is the code. It gets you two for one on tickets. So whether that's your best friend, your other half, your mother in law, your mum, your maid of honour, bring someone along with you. Also, tis the season, like if it's your last minute, Larry, you don't know what to get you. I think this is a really good gift,

I think so. I love a little like an evening out doing something like this and also it's going to be so fun like it's not it's not going to be like a show as such as it like as

No, well, it's just like our podcast.

yeah so it'll just be like us chatting like it's going to be real like low key and and cash and fun and we'll be talking all things wedding lots of

tips inspiration, come along. I just think it would be a very good gift. And what I'm going to say is, if you want to give this as a gift, if you're listening now, this is a really good present if you, your friend is engaged, or it's for your other half, Or whatever you want to, whoever you know that's engaged, get them a ticket to our podcast. It's a two for one offer, pod offer, two for one, use the code.

it.

There you go. I'll tell you what I have ordered this year, which I'm very excited for. I feel like you've done this before, so you can tell me if this is It looks like it's not gonna be too hard, but I feel like it might be. I've ordered one of the wax seal things, with the little stamper, and the wax.

That's really cute. I love the

for your wedding yourself?

Yeah, I did. I did it for my wedding. It was really easy. You literally just melt the wax and then

Oh, that's alright then.

on it. It's real quick. It was really easy to do, but it did tell you how to do it in the instructions and stuff, but it's so simple and it was

Yeah. They look so nice don't they? So yeah, I'm

Just adds a little pizzazz to

I was like, well, I've never had one of these or done one of these before, so I'm going to do it this year if I get time.

was actually the wallow

Oh yeah, I remember you said about that. What the hell

Richard, I can't believe we did that.

can't remember what

we are?

Was it, is that an actual thing? Like where did he get that symbol from? Did he make it up?

so you just look up, you can look your coat, your family coat of arms up online. Yeah,

know that.

Yeah, and actually we went to Oxford Castle a little while back now, probably like seven months ago. And when we were there we, you can type in your family. No, it's like your surname and it'll tell you loads of

That's cool.

and we did do Waller and it is the same so it was definitely the right,

There you go.

coat of

I'll have to have a look at that online.

Weirdly we have it in a picture frame in our bathroom.

Why not? As you do. As

I just don't know why it's there, it's something that we got given as a gift as it was like kind of a joke gift and I kind of just put it up and I was,

That's quite cool though. Family touch and all that.

Yeah, it's my coat of arms.

Something for people to look at while they're on the toilet. Lovely. So yeah, so I'll be doing that if I do get time, but I need to wrap all the presents.

Oh, me too. I'm always last minute at rapping, I'm not gonna lie. Well, not last minute, but I don't do it in advance. I always do it all together, like, a week

I'll probably do it next weekend. So that'll be the week before

I've bought some amazing brown paper, but it's got like a green print on it. Like a forest

Where'd you get that

and stars and stuff. I got that from my wholesaler. But it's a massive roll, and it was 15 plus VAT, plus V A T. So I didn't think that was too bad. But I got that and then I'm gonna use some, like, nice

Cute. Yeah, nice I ordered some of that string that's Like red. and white. Yeah,

I like that.

And I love the brown. I did order some brown paper, um, as well. But Yeah, Oh, and also I sent you the other day the, the, for the Christmas tree decoration thing with the, with the

Yeah, the

Have you done this right? Because my only thing is, obviously you bake it Does it not just crumble apart like you would a cookie?

I've never done it before I've not done it before but this is I'm gonna do it this year so I'll let you know

to do, um, Mitzi's paw print.

Don't think it

Also, then do you paint them? Do you, what do you, what paint do you use? And do you then coat it with, like, varnish to make it shiny?

I just thought it would be like acrylic and then yeah, you probably yeah you probably can get a top

Yeah, when are you doing this? I need to um, get involved.

I'm thinking of doing it. I was gonna do it this week. Yeah

around everything

oh, oh, oh, yeah, I'll

Oh, I'm really gutted because my, um, one of my very good friends makes ball, makes really nice ball prints. Well, she had a pottery company and she would have the baubles and she'd like write on them and decorate them and whatever. And she used to do all the baby stuff with the paw print, the paw prints, the hand prints. She did do ball

For your fur baby

um, she did all our baubles, so she did one for us. When we were in lockdown, and it said like the one where we were locked down, then we had the one when we got engaged, and then the year we got married no, the year, I can't remember now, but I want the one when we're married, but she's moved to Wales and she doesn't do her pottery company anymore. So I can't, I know I'm really gutted because I was like, I want the full collection.

Who is that, is that your friend Jo? Oh my gosh, I didn't know it

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I've got like quite a few now. I can't remember what the other one was. Mate, I think I had the year when we were locked in and the year when we were allowed out it's for 2021. Then 2022 was the year we got engaged and I can't remember what we, I don't think we had one last year because I think she'd moved. Then I wanted the one where we got married this year, but she don't do it anymore. And I've been looking at some online and they're just not, they're just not like hers.

They're not the same. Yeah.

yeah. There we go, yay. Maybe I can make my own on it out of that dough stuff.

Yeah. Salt dough.

But yeah. Other than that, make sure you go on, get your tickets. Once again, pod offer, use the code.

That's P. O. Denali.

So I added, saw a little thing. I've been seeing this quite a lot recently, actually. And I'm, I think I'm kind of like torn on it on, on, on the, on the conversation, on the discussion. Right. And I saw it again in the press and I thought we're gonna have to bring it up. So basically.

Well, that's it. It's another, it's, it's, it's a whole, if the bridesmaid isn't paying for certain things and you're doing that, so you're going to cover everything, that's a massive expense for you. But I do feel like it's, it's kind of a difficult one because I can, I as well can see it from both sides because I do feel like when you ask someone to be a bridesmaid, they There's like that pressure for them to actually just say

Yeah. You can't really say no to being a bridesmaid, can you? It's kind of difficult. Well, you

they go away and they start thinking about it, there may be like, they might not be able to afford to come to the Hindu. But I just feel like that might be a discussion that you need to have, like between friends or family. You know what I mean? If you're friends or family, you have that, like, I should think if you're asking someone to be their bridesmaid to be a bridesmaid, then you have that relationship where you can sort of talk openly.

Yeah. Or make the effort Oh, but I'll plan a night out with all the

yeah. Like we'll

But I kind of feel like if I was, so when I was planning my hen do, I sent out a message. before I say I plan, I didn't really plan it. I just planned, I just said what I wanted to do, but I sent out a message to everybody and said, this is roughly going to be the cost of the budget. Um, and actually they know that people could then say yes or no as to whether they would be up for coming. But my, everybody did say yes to be, most people did say yes, most people did come.

Oh, massively. I do feel, and I feel like people are going way

the top

kind of like, yeah, like it's bigger and bigger and bigger. Like they don't just have one Hindu. They're like, they'll have like five and they'll have one abroad, one here, one with family, one with a different set of friends, one where they just go out and it's just like, look, you

just because it's a different outfits and yeah, and I actually think that this goes beyond just bridesmaids I think this just goes to like friends and family in general if a family is probably a bit different but friends you know if you are going to multiple weddings like When we are at this age, like, I've got a friend who, God, I'm like, every weekend I speak to you at a wedding.

one. Yeah, so then you're giving people the best of both, you know, best of both options, and I feel like that's, you know, it's then up to them to choose what they do, isn't it? But, I just, I definitely agree with that. Everybody's just trying to get, like, it's just more, more, more, and I just feel like that pressure, Like, it actually can send people into like, debt.

Yeah, of course.

if you're, if you want to keep up with your friends and you can't afford it, but you feel too embarrassed to say I can't afford it, or you're worried you're going to annoy somebody and you do it and you're like, I'll just get a loan or something like that, you know, it's just, that's not

Yeah. Just to not upset people. Or if you're on your own, if it's just you and like you haven't got somebody else to, but also I've seen instances where people are talking about this conversation and it's like, well, what we're trying to say for a mortgage or we're trying to, we want to have a family and we're trying to save and we feel like. every year there's these weddings or it's because I do think that the, you know, people going abroad has been such a big thing.

Yeah,

But then I also see it on the other side of the coin where it's like, But it's, if it's one of your best friends, they should be kind of doing what you want to do? I don't know, but then if they can't afford it, it's such a difficult one.

It's really hard because I just I would hate the thought of somebody Getting it like having to go out like spending above their means essentially just to come for me I would feel bad and I just feel like that's why that's why I Never appeals to me to get married abroad because I just think it's too much to

it is. I think it's a lot.

Because I know when me and Richard were planning our wedding, we'd got engaged, we, we were thinking about, I mean, it's not really abroad, but it, it's further afield for everybody to go with Scotland. But I literally was just like, it's too much of a task of other people. And he was like, yeah, but the people you want there will come. And but I was like, I know what you're saying, but I just, Even then I just

It felt awkward to get people to expect to do that, because they're going to obviously want to be there, aren't they?

so much. As 28 dresses with? Is it Katherine

I can't remember. I'm terrible with actors.

Yeah, I'm sure it was 28 dresses and she goes She's like a bridesmaid

Yes, she's got all them dresses in her wardrobe, yeah.

she says how much she's like spent over the year on And I just think bloody hell

think it just goes.

there's probably some

It goes back to conversations we've had before, that when you're asking people to be bridesmaids, you need to be prepared to, like, I bought all the dresses, did the alterations and stuff, and I actually said to them after the wedding, if you want to sell that, like, feel, because I've got dresses still in my wardrobe, or I feel bad to sell them, because I think, well, that person bought it for me, but I openly said, Sell it. I do not care.

you need to keep, yeah totally Totally

finally, I mean, it's been, it's been like six, seven months, but I'm going to attempt to wash the wedding dress.

Oh

want to put it up for sale.

Put it in the

Yeah.

just in the washing

Yeah, well, I'm gonna soak it in the bath first and loads of like, vanish and stuff. And then hope that, but I do feel like I've left it too long, it's gonna be like, moulded in.

I know, that's like, my mind's been up there for two

Yeah, bad times. But yeah, sorry, just went, went off piste there, but yeah. So, I, I think that there is ways, and like we say again about Hindus, I think being very open, but It's a real, it's a real difficult one nowadays, isn't it?

help. I just feel like it's really relevant now because people are struggling more than ever, like the cost of living and stuff. It's Everything's so

it really is.

and I just feel like, I just feel like if you're expecting people to come to all this stuff and do all this thing, you're going to have to have a bit of a reality check

Yeah.

yeah, just, I feel like if you want to, yeah, reach out to people and just be like, look, I think what you did was great. Like, you know, I'm thinking of spending, this is what the thinking of this, the Hendy is going to be about this much. What does everyone

Yeah, and I was also very much like, no, pressure.

Yeah, like, don't worry if you can't afford that. You know.

I've also got another kind of like, leaded on from that, another article here where a bridesmaid actually lowered her gift money to the couple because it cost her so much, but again, I don't think I would expect, again, well, no gift should ever be expected. Also, yeah, if you'll spend a money on going to the wedding or whatever,

Yeah, totally. I feel like, I know, well you sort of spoke about it before, didn't we, sort of, kind of, if you think that someone's spending a certain amount on you per head, then you kind of factor that into the gift that you give, but, as a bridesmaid, there will be lots of things that you've paid out for, and money that you've spent, and I feel like,

But do you think there is? Because actually, if couples are doing it the right way, which they should be, and paying for hair and make up and dresses, aren't the bridesmaids then just paying the same as any other guest? So then every guest should feel a bit like that.

Yeah, that's what I, I mean that's what I did for my bridesmaids. I paid for

Because that's actually a very valid point, because we've brought this up before, where we've seen, remember that celebrant I was talking to, and she was saying in Ireland it's quite a big thing where it's like, oh you work out roughly what the couple's probably spending, but actually, have they taken into consideration the cost that they're spending on accommodation?

That's a

And also, I always think with normal, standard wedding guest outfits, you can't really include that as a cost, because you could wear that. You can wear that whenever, can't you? Unless the couple, again, is telling you you've got to wear a specific dress code. It is just, I get what people are saying, I think it's a lot. I do think weddings abroad are going to start to, to, to tail, yeah.

That's

yeah, maybe people are going to keep it more local nowadays.

I think we're more, I think we're going to see more of the low key wedding.

I definitely don't think we're seeing low key wedding. No, I mean we'll talk about this in our trends episode, but no, people are going bigger and better than ever. But

yeah, they are. It's all for Instagram though,

but exactly, but the couple are paying for that. But I think for what their guests are having to pay for, are people going to cut back? Are they going to go, well actually we'll stay local, because actually then it's no cost to them.

Yeah.

I think it's a valid discussion and I completely get where people are coming from. And, you know, I've heard on other podcasts before people saying, you know, I think it's reasonable to say to somebody, Do you know what, thank you so much for offering for me to be a bridesmaid. I can't, yeah.

Can't afford it this

So I'd be very interested because obviously we're coming from the couple's point of view and the wedding planning point of view. People that are listening, how would you react? I'm going to put this on our socials as well. How would you react to somebody saying no to being a bridesmaid due to money?

Yeah! That's a really good point,

Because I do feel like if one of my bridesmaidens said that to me and I would have said to them, if it's genuinely because of money, I will help you out. If it is just because you don't want to do it,

Yeah,

it's an excuse, Yeah, if it's an excuse,

Listen, we're all

we're all friends Yeah. But, and also, have you seen the comments in some of these articles? Like, people

People

are agreeing.

don't agree. They do

Yeah. They're like, yeah, weddings are costing us more and more money and we don't want to spend our money on it.

So I've never really been that sort of person that goes to loads of weddings just not many of my friends got married and stuff So I just I'm not in that position, but I do know a few people that are always going to weddings So I would be Interested to get their

yeah, definitely. We need to, we need to ask on the old socials. But I mean, from the other point is that I suppose for me and you, I don't know how you've managed this, but I've had to not go to a few weddings because I'm working and I've had, or I've had work offered. And for me,

Yeah

wedding season is such a short time period of the year, you gotta take it when you can get it

Well, no, I

I've had to say no to stuff before, I mean don't get me wrong if it was like, my immediate family.

to say no to loads of social things. Never a wed never a wedding But I've had to say no to loads of stuff like

I've had friends fall out of, as in I do not speak to them anymore because I couldn't go to their bridal, what's it called, not bridal, baby shower. Because I had a wedding.

Really?

How bad is that?

That's

It is because I was like it was a whole weekend thing because I had to travel to go to it and It was a bank holiday weekend.

Don't get why you'd

I know. I'm like I work in the freaking wedding. Yeah, I work in the wedding industry It's a bank holiday like

And it's your baby shower, your baby's not even

and I hate baby

you shouldn't even be No, I don't like

you didn't have one. Did you?

I didn't have one, I'm a bit

Yeah. Yeah. I remember you saying

I just don't I'd rather I'd rather do I really like the sound of doing a sip and see. So you have your baby and then you invite everyone over to have a drink and stuff and something to eat

Get them all out of the way. Yeah, I think that is a good idea, again, it shows how, like, people can take things You know, me and you were sitting here going,

Yeah.

I couldn't go And this has genuinely happened to me, that they genuinely

I feel like when people are getting married and they're having babies and things like that, there's lots of emotions that are heightened. I feel like people go a little bit do Lally and I think they put their own feelings ahead of other people's

Yeah.

bit because there was a few things I did before my wedding or that I got annoyed about that I look back now and I'm like why why did I it doesn't even

But I feel like asking people to be your bridesmaids or asking them to come to the wedding is quite early stages. We went crazy the last, like, two weeks. So,

true true

interesting one, it'll be very interesting to see everybody's point of views and stories, but I feel like this is a huge topic at the minute.

totally

Are we on the bridesmaids and the guests side, that weddings are going too mental, we're expecting people to spend too money, much money, or are we on the couples side of, it's your bloody wedding, it's your day, you do what you want to do, if people don't want to come, they don't want to come. It's a difficult one, and I'm never on the fence about these things, but this one I kind of am. There we go, hey. Should we go onto listeners' questions and messages?

Yes, so, I need some genuine advice. Well Kelly, let us give you some. Save the Dates went out earlier this year and we get married on the 31st of May. I have the, next year obviously, I have the invites ready to go out and on them we have QR code to our wedding website. Good that you've done

Yes. We love that.

Perfect. Hopefully it was pres no, not Prezola.

No, with, with joy.

When people RSVP via the website, they choose the meal. We can't do our menu tasting until early next year, hence we've not sent our invitations yet. What do I do? When do I send the invites? Do I send them as soon as possible, then remind people to choose their meal when we know what the options are, or do we wait?

a hundred percent. 'cause getting people back on that website's hard, like once they've rspd, they've Irish vp, do you know what I mean? Normally as well, your tastings normally six months before, so you should normally, you only normally send out your invites four to six months before, as long as you've done a save the date, people got the date held, they don't need the information.

Yeah, yeah, save the date, that's, yeah. The next bit that goes out is more like all of the info and doing things like the menu. And I do feel like she says that the menu tasting they're doing is like early next year. So I presume it's going to be like January. So then you've got February, March, April, May. So you've got four months at least

It is a difficult one nowadays though, because again, going back to our previous subject of how many people are doing things out of town and abroad, I've had this actually of a couple of my, couple of my couples, getting married next year, and they want to actually do their invites earlier than I advise because of people booking accommodation and travel and stuff.

Okay,

I just think in that instance, maybe you just need to send out maybe like an email, like I did this. I just sent out an email to everybody and said, Hi, if you're looking to book accommodation, because people started asking us, but I wasn't ready to send the invites. Um, so I just sent out people an email with some, with some, or, you know, if you know there's certain people that are going to have to travel. Send it to them.

That's true. I mean, I don't think it would take you, if you really did have to go back and ask people, like, what they want on the mail, for the mail. I feel like nowadays with the internet, email, all those things like that, like, I feel like it wouldn't probably take you, I mean, it'd be a bit of a

Oh, so you think send out the invites and then ask?

I, I think that you should

I do.

I, I think that's what I would say. I would say literally, you've got plenty of time, but it's just if you are worried, like you are still worried and you want to send them out now and you're like, like a little bit of, you know, getting real worried about it, then if it's not too much of a faff for you to go back and ask, that's probably not going to be the

the other thing you can do that I advised I just completely forgot about and it just came into my head The other thing you can do is just put a brief You don't need to put the whole menu if you know, you're gonna have a chicken dish If it's choice if you're going for choice menu a lot of people nowadays i'm not gonna lie go for set menu but if you're gonna go choice just put chicken beef fish or Chicken chicken, fish, veggie, or do you know what I mean? Just do that. That's what I would

Let's get a bit of a broader idea

just do set menu.

I, set menu, so I honestly didn't even know that people still do in a

You can upgrade to do it. Yeah, a lot of places offer it, but caterers hate doing it. It's such a ball ache, and then you need to make sure you've got their choices on the meth on the card.

And then there's always gonna be a fat, like a mix up somewhere along the line. I

you're better off just not mentioning the menu to people. The other thing a lot of people do now is like sharing platters on the tables, which are quite popular. So then you have got like a couple of different options, but like people just

We, we never told

no, it's your best way.

we just said any dietary

Yeah, so that's our first answer is just don't do a choice menu.

And also, I feel like, if you're, so this is what I don't get as well, right? If you've sent out your invites or you've done a choice menu, then why do you still need to have your little menu card printed out? Because to me that's a waste of money, because they've already chosen what they're having and they've probably got a note of what

Yeah, but you need to print for the caterer will generally require that you have, so it's even better. Yeah, but it's personalized to that person. So say you've got like chicken and beef, say Hannah's got chicken, Haley's got beef, mine would need to say Hannah at the top and then chicken and Haley's, so it's actually more money with the stationer because you're getting two different designs. And if

Yeah, so I feel like that's a good point there. There's

desserts, you've got a lot of different, different varieties. A lot of people don't, don't get me wrong, a lot of state, you know, caterers prefer it. It looks better as well. The biggest, same, they look so nice, but it's the biggest ball ache when you put the full menu on and then people go, Oh, actually, I've changed my mind. And you're like, well, no, Karen.

You can't now!

that you ordered beef. Now you've decided you want the vegetarian.

No can

Or they get like food envy. Someone comes out and they go, well, actually, that looks really nice.

Ooh, yeah. Oh, well.

So that's my advice. Don't do a choice menu, do a set menu. Or, yeah, I would just wait until you've done your tasting. Or just do it very generic. You don't have to put all the gumph that it comes with, this and that, potatoes and

Dauphinoise and a jus. There's a jus. Gravy.

dear.

Cool. Well,

It is?

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