Listener's Wedding Q&A's!

Hello.

Hello. The wedding season, stress is hitting,

me and Hannah have just been laughing about how we've both so anxious. We've both constantly

oh,

mouth, we're having fever dreams.

honestly, the terrains. Oh. Should we get started? Should

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Let's get it done. I've only actually just started wedding season as well, and.

I'm not, I not even started

Do you know what? It's not even physically doing the weddings. It's this point where it's like, I mean, as of 10 minutes ago, I can officially say that I've sent out all of my plans and catering information for June. So that's like a big bulk. But honestly, it's just, I feel like everyone wants me at the minute. Do you know what I mean? Like everyone's contacted me. With questions and I'm like, my head is mash.

wanna like get confused because it'd be really awkward.

Yeah, exactly. And I'm hoping within like the next week or two, it'll get to the point where most stuff's done, most questions are answered, but at the minute, honestly, I'm getting phone calls, I'm getting WhatsApps, I'm getting emails, and I'm just like, there is no give at the minute.

a bit full

It's a lot. It's very, it's very full on, but you know what? We're happy to be in business.

We are, this is the thing I was trying to explain to someone the other day. It's like it for us, it's so seasonal and it's all like crammed into like three months.

Yeah.

what everyone does throughout a whole year in like three months.

Yeah, I mean mine's a little bit different 'cause I work year round, but yeah, I know what you mean In terms of actually physically being on the wedding. Yeah, it's a lot.

it's

I'm also trying to still keep like my 20, 26 people happy. Like I'm not ignoring you like I'm here,

That's when it

I'm still about, yeah, you're trying to like juggle, prioritize. Like, yeah, you wanna give them some, some time, but at the same time you're like, I really need to do this for this wedding that's in like two weeks.

I don't, I really appreciate your inquiry and it's important to me, but at the same time, I'm drowning in my current workload.

yeah, yeah. You know, you get me. Yeah. So yeah, that's where, but other than that, how, how have you been?

I've been good. I've been busy. I've hardly been at home, which is really unusual. Um, big news though. Big news. Everyone.

right. Go on.

walking. She

hasn't.

yesterday.

Aw, cute.

She literally just got up and walked.

No. Were you like, oh, it's okay. That's the thing that's done.

followed me into the kitchen. I was like,

Aw,

on? cute.

there you go. You need to spend more time away from home and then she start to things.

threatening to walk for ages. Like she, we

Um,

she was just, but she just hasn't done it on her own.

yeah.

uh, I feel like she's been waiting until I was back home from a busy week of work to be like, mommy, I'll

Well,

first.

did you cry?

No, I, I, I'm

You were just like, all right, love done.

I sort of tried to squeeze out a tear, but. I felt emotional, but I'm just not a crier. I was just like,

No, I'm the same. I'm like, okay.

no. So that was cute. That was good. But

Oh

but yeah, that, which was a lovely start to my

yeah.

off. So I haven't had a week off. I'm doing stuff, but just not physically

I was gonna say, Jesus, you definitely haven't, 'cause I've heard of you about 50. You are one of them. People that need to get a hold of me.

No,

you want this or do you want that? What do you think about this? What do you think about that? No, I'm shaking this. It's my job. It's my job. It's my job.

customer's happy.

Yeah. Yeah. It's my job at the end of the day.

um, it's been, I've not been physically at like working with flowers this week. I'm doing all the admin

Nice. Yeah,

last week I was working a week freelancing and it was busy, so,

was a

cool. It was Chelsea Flower Show, so,

nice, exciting,

was really cool. I didn't actually go to the show, but we were

mm,

on stuff to do with that and um, it's

nice.

be part of a team. I

Yeah, I, I can imagine.

group of

I.

and,

Yeah, I said that to someone the other day actually. I was saying about how like, you know, you do sometimes miss that office,

just,

you know?

off people like,

Yeah,

person, it's hard to, like, you make something and it's really nice to kind of like be like, oh, what'd you think of this? And

yeah.

or

Yeah.

in.

Hundred percent. And I always think that like with the girls that work for me, they work from home as well. And sometimes it would just be so much easier to be in an office and just like quickly ask the question instead of like having to message or like, do you know what I mean? It's just a ball lake. Sometimes it's just so much easier. And I used to like that when you were in an office just to be like. Whoa,

straight away

this? Why? What's that? Like, oh, just watch while I show you how to do this, or you know,

I,

a lot easier.

So,

I'm gonna have to rethink this for next year. Get some office space.

that's the

Yeah.

But it's been, it's been really good and it's just nice to be, to be honest, I, I've always. working. And when obviously I had Lily

Yeah. You struggled with that?

All I've ever known is working. So to be

Yeah.

happy when I'm work. Not that I'm not happy with her. I am, but

Yeah,

when I'm doing like what I

definitely. Yeah. You don't want being a mom to just be your job, basically. Yeah. You wanna enjoy being a mom and do your job

Absolutely.

at. Yes.

yeah, so it's been, it's been really good. And um, and with Chelsea Flower Show, it's always nice. I love it. I if I've mentioned it on here before, I'm sure you know. Anyway, probably. I probably have. I'm gonna, I'm gonna play my little trumpet, but uh,

Go for it. Mm.

in 2017, I did a young Florist of the year, so I exhibited.

Nice.

like a kite and stuff. So

Yeah.

a, you do like a, what would you call it? I guess not trials, that's not the right word. Uh, like heats like rounds.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

then you get

yeah.

piece is the competition in the Chelsea Flower Show tent.

Oh yeah. I don't really know what it is. I'm not gonna lie. Chelsea Flower Show.

gardens, but then they have all the floristry stuff, so

Nice.

and people exhibiting like cut flowers and things like that.

Yeah.

um, so with the BFA and British Forestry Association and stuff, but I got to do BA kite and that was in 2017. And I just think it was like, the experience was incredible. Like nothing compares, like it was

nice.

And, um, so every

Do. So were they, what were they the florist doing that you were working with?

So they did the gates to Chelsea. They decorated the

way.

gates.

That's like big time. What, and were you there? Were you there? No.

I didn't go on site. So we, I was working where they work.

prepping? Yeah.

So we like, were doing bits and pieces,

Wow.

I guess it's, it's not a workshop, it's massive. But

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So they did, they did all of that and they did, um, they had their own display and they also were doing flowers for, so within Chelsea you have different, um, companies and things like that, that they'll have like a, like an, like an exhibit or a stand.

Yeah.

doing flowers for their stand. Bit like the exhibition that you did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

similar sort of thing. And they like

Mm.

flowers to decorate

Nice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

workshops and things like that

Jesus. Yeah. Big, big job then for them. Yeah. Nice.

florist, but it's just, um, but they do all the flowers for, for Wimbledon and Queens tennis and, um,

Nice.

like that. So that's all coming up. So it's gonna be really busy over the

Busy, busy.

month as well

Yep.

my own flowers.

Yeah. There we go.

But it's good. It's good. It's like being busy,

Yeah.

yeah.

There you go.

how's your week been? As you

Yeah, just a lot.

stress.

stressed. Um, yeah, no, we're getting there. We're getting there. It is. Yeah. Once the, I'm a bit like you, once the weddings actually start, I really enjoy it being on site and everything's done and the planning's done, but it's these final few weeks beforehand when it is just all those little details, tying them together, little questions, little things. People think of, oh, well, where's that going on? What's that table on? What's that? You know, it's not like the big thing.

because it's,

Because you're getting a lot of them.

I was gonna say, it might not be the biggest question, but there's just lots of them.

Yeah. Like you think the little questions you have to ask me. Right. And then time's that by like 10 suppliers all asking me stuff, plus the couple asking me stuff. And it's like, yeah, that's a lot.

yeah, exactly.

It's what we, it's what, it's what we do,

just, it's just my

what we get. We get through, we get through and chasing people for stuff as well. Chasing people for information, chasing suppliers for information, chasing up couples for table plans, like just all these little bits and bobs is all. Um, but yeah, I was in London all day yesterday. I went to q um, to do the ops meeting. Oh yeah. So nice. So yeah, our wedding in there is in three weeks. And then, um. Yeah, the bride for that wedding, she come and met me, so we just did a little walkthrough.

was horrible yesterday.

so bad.

is not what we were promised.

no.

Summer was meant to be here.

W Yeah, I mean, we've, to be fair, the farmers be happy because there's been a drought. So, um, they'll be happy. And the, the flower growers, if anyone's growing flowers for weddings this year, they'll be happy. Um, but yeah. Um, and then I went off to Middle Temple, which is in central London. Where? Temp Temple.

so I, I saw the, um, on your, obviously on your

yeah.

it looked the ceiling incredible.

beautiful venue. Stunning. Yeah.

I dunno, is it wooden or

Yeah. Wanna, yeah.

style.

Yeah. Such a cool venue. So I was doing a, um, doing a site visit there because we've got a wedding there next year. So I just wanted to do a walkthrough of, uh, where, you know, where everything's going. Just say when we start planning and booking suppliers, I've really got it in my head as to what, you know, what's going and where. So, yeah. No, that was good. That was good. I had a wedding last week as well. I dunno if I've spoke about it.

don't think so. I, when was the last time we spoke? Was it

I feel like it was not the last week, but I can't remember why. Or was it before the wedding?

we, it was before last. It was before the

Did we do like the weekend or something? Yeah. So yeah, had a wedding on Tuesday. That all went really well. Absolutely. That was at the Dorchester is just the most beautiful venue.

that. Love the

venue. Um, just a reminder for anyone that's getting married, coming up, um. Just chill out on the day. Enjoy it.

Is that, oh no. Can we divulge on

Did you know what? The biggest thing I'm gonna say is you cannot control other people. And I had to say this to the bride a couple of times, right?

so

was getting a little bit worked up about certain, like family members doing certain things. Like she really didn't want people having their phones out and taking pictures. And I was like, you can't control other people. I also had someone, we did, um, we did a, I love doing this. Um, we did a, a human guest, a human table plan, is what I'd call it. So basically me and Chloe stand at the doors with our iPads in alphabetical order, find their and tell 'em what table they're on.

say, I bet that's actually probably more efficient than

Yeah, it works quite well.

bit.

Yeah. And also like if you, there's changes or anything like easy 'cause don't need, don't need it till the day.

Oh,

Um, so we were doing that and I had one guest say to me, what, no, I'm not supposed to be on that table with that person. Uh, I, this isn't, this isn't how, and I literally just said to her. Take a breath. It's one day, it's two hours.

Oh,

Don't worry about it.

What did they say to that?

She was just like, okay, okay. And just walked off.

Oh my God.

there was, I feel like there was a few family politics going on that,

also, what are you gonna do about that? This's not

I know.

fault. If

why I was literally like, and I thought, if the bride hears this, she's gonna be raging. So just move on, move on,

along. Keep

on.

it moving.

But yeah, so she did. She did a couple of times. I had to say to her, like, the other thing I'll say is like in your photos, you can really tell when someone is stressed, so just don't stress on the day. I know that's so easier said than done, but you can honestly tell. You just need to relax. You just need to shake it out. Don't be worrying what's going on over on the bus. Like, like just leave someone else, someone else can sort that out.

I think

it is what it is.

you are not a controlling person. But if you're just someone that likes things to

it is.

I think it's

No, you're right.

of like accept

Yeah,

I

yeah, yeah, yeah,

to accept

yeah. Same. Yeah.

you, you

You do.

you could, you could have planned it down to the absolute. Like tea and someone else can do something

yeah,

not ruin it at all. But I just mean like

yeah. But some, yeah, something can happen. Yeah.

can't. Things like that, you can't. Um,

No.

you know.

They're outta your control. And it's things like, um, in the church she'd kind of specifically said to me, I, I, these are where the people are sitting. Like she'd done like reserved seat in for the ceremony. They're not allowed to move. Make sure they don't move. And I'm a little bit like a, I kind of need to run around so I'm probably not gonna be stood there. Like watching them, and B, if people wanna move, like

You can't be like, excuse me. Excuse me.

yeah,

Sit

back down.

What do you think you are doing?

So yeah, it's just things like, and also you're probably not gonna notice on the day, look at me. I didn't even notice that everyone stood my whole ceremony. Like, you know, but I equally get, no, don't care. Literally don't care. 'cause I didn't notice. But equally like. I get that it like, exactly like you've just said, like, it's like me with my business.

I

but to me it's important,

be the

so

with me with flowers. If

Yeah,

I get it. I, I do

yeah, yeah. So it's the same with these couples, right? I don't want those people to move places. Like, to me sounds pretty nuts, but to them it's important.

Yeah.

So, you know what? Sometimes I'm just like, if Yeah. You roll with it. Yeah. You probably do sound nuts.

Well, si actually was talking to my sister-in-law about this recently because,

Mm-hmm.

uh, it's completely different. But if, like, for example, you have children and then you might not be getting as much sleep as someone else, and it's almost like this

Yeah.

But

Yeah. I can imagine.

had three hours sleep or if you've had eight hours sleep. If you are tired, you're struggling, that's a struggle for you.

Yeah.

Like, you don't have to compare, like everyone's gotta have this. Like if it's

Yeah.

for you. Then

It's a pop. Yeah.

let's just deal with it. Like

Oh my God, that's so true. I used to hate this when I worked in hotels. It was a constant battle of, well, I've done 40 hours this week. Well, I've done 45 hours this week, but I've done 50 hours this week. Well, I've not taken any holiday. And you're like, piss off. And it can be a bit like in the, that, in the wedding industry, can't it? Like when I say to people sometimes, oh yeah, like. Yeah, I haven't, uh, this is my FI haven't done a wedding for two weeks or something.

She wind your neck in.

Hi, did anyway.

dear.

That felt good. Oh.

uh, um, year

Second, whenever. Yeah. My second year anniversary. Yeah, I know.

wedding.

Yeah, it was. We didn't really do a lot. I was, I, I had a couple of meetings that day, but, um, we did, so when we was in Italy, we did a cooking class. I was like, I'm gonna recreate what we cooked.

cook?

Well, well, I was supposed to do, uh, not this nochi that we made with them and then tiramisu that we made with them. Well, the tiramisu, I think what happened is he told me to use milk, but I think the milk that he was using from like his fresh goats or something like, is a lot thicker. So I should have used cream. So that went terribly. So that was off the table. That didn't happen. Um, and then the noki was going really, really bad.

Noki

because I think I was like, I'm sure when we did it with them, it was in the pan for ages, but it actually needed to be in the pan for like 30 seconds. So, yeah, and then Chloe had given me this like sourdough starter, um, to make like pizza bases and I, um, basically made it into garlic bread and that was banging. That was really good.

a good sourdough. Oh my

Oh, so good. Honestly, I. That was amazing. So yeah, no, yeah, didn't really do a lot. Went, um, went out for a bit of a walk, went it looked like a local hall, uh, that was open. You know, like one of these stately homes that was open for the day 'cause it was bank holiday. Um, did, we got, got all our honeymoon photos back. Stuck them all in an album. 'cause mine's on a, mine's on the film hype at the minute. So yeah, everything's on film, so we then have to stick them in an album, you know.

That's

Which is nice, Lisa, in an album. I don't even have my wedding album yet, but I've got my honeymoon album, you know? Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah.

nice.

Thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah.

this week we're going to, um, do a lot of, we've basically had loads of questions in from

Yes.

so we are gonna, we're gonna cover those,

Yeah.

and just basically get back to people because you just

Yeah, we feel like we've had a lot and we've been leaving them and we're like, let's just get through them all today and then you'll have your answers. In case like you're getting married in like a few weeks time, I'm getting worried that you won't have your response. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cole, right? Are you, do you wanna start with the first one? It's quite a, this one's quite a long one. We need to like, you know, settle in for this one.

in,

your cup of tea. If you ain't got a cup of tea, pause it now. Get a cup of tea and a biscuit.

What's your biscuit of choice?

Right. I'm gonna sound real loser here now. Rich tea.

on. It's fucking rich day.

But it's either, it's either like a rich tea or, or on the opera end of the scale. One of those, like, you know, the marks and Spencers, the round ones with the really thick chocolate on the outside banging, or,

whole meal, but

you know, the di, the digestives with the caramel inside. Like some, so I'm like one end of the scale or the other, you know.

or you like flavor.

Yeah. What's yours

Oh, I love a chocolate digestive.

dear?

I

Nice.

chocolate digestive. Um,

Yeah.

really like those Viennese ones, you know, where they're like two

Yes. Banging.

Nice.

they're good. Basically. Any biscuit? I'll take it.

a

Mm.

Yeah. Chocolate and biscuit. Okay, here we go. Hopefully you guys have got your biscuits, your tea now. So. Hi, Haley and Hannah, avid listener here, and hoping to get some advice from the professionals before I go nuclear and can't go back.

Woo.

Your tips and chat have been great to listen to, but I don't think you've covered my current predicament, so I'm all ears. fiance and I getting married in July this year, and to be honest, everything had been going so well up until April this year. A couple of key dates to help give some context. October, 2023. We got engaged.

Right.

2024. Venue booked.

Mm-hmm.

End of January, 2025. Menu tasting,

Yep.

February, 2025. Venue contact they've been dealing with left the venue

They're calling her G,

calling her g.

say, we've got G.

G leaves, tulu

She's gone. Bye G.

April, 2025. The new venue contact, who they've called Kay, be new to the venue. unclear to

Uh, whether they're like, she's just transferred into a different role, that's a big gap. Two months just to say.

so I'm assuming they've gone with no contact type between February and April. Then

Yeah, maybe.

uh, then we've got May, 2025. They've collected all their RSVPs, which is 50 people with me, with menu options. The wedding website was great. Thanks for the podcast advice.

No worries.

You are welcome. Um, end of May, 2025.

So like now

final details meeting booked in with the venue, with contact K. So the new woman,

new person?

person. So first person that they had as their contact was lovely and really responsive. She understood what we were looking for in our wedding and was happy to change our contract to include off menu food selections to our choice of a tally style. serve to plates rather than sharing style. was quick to answer the random questions we had from February, 2024 to February, 2025. included photos of the wedding breakfast room with long tables rather than round tables. Sizes of cake

Mm-hmm.

up with music, microphone and speakers. All in all, she was great in what we expected from the venue contact when it's an exclusive use venue and hotel rooms that we've opted for.

Fair play.

Okay, so then April, 2025 rolls around and we have our own calendar reminder to pay our final 30% balance to the venue. The venue did not send out a reminder like they had with the previous three payments. Uh, at this point they say we missed G so she must have left,

Ah, yeah, she's gone. Yeah, she went in February. Yeah.

So we asked for confirmation that the banking details had not changed before sending a load of money over. Good.

Can I just say at this point, this fucking pisses me off, like, why this, this is like the, like a large percent of my job is chasing suppliers for their invoices. Like, send your fricking invoices, you want the money you wanna get paid, send the pissing invoice. So I can understand that. Frustration. Frustration straight away.

never understood people that don't send their invoices. I just think, what, what, what?

if that's your term, if that's your terms, you want the final 30% balance by that date, send the fricking invoice. Yeah,

it. Why should they chase you up?

yeah,

Oh, dear. Um, so they've checked that the banking details haven't changed before sending a load of money over, which is a good idea.

yeah,

Our, our new venue contact k, in my opinion, is disorganized and has poor

Uh.

I try to give her the benefit of the doubt as there might have been a poor handover there.

Yeah, maybe.

kay.

Maybe, maybe G wasn't as good as she was all cracked up to me. I reckon though. I reckon just calling this now, G left, they didn't have anyone. Kay's got promoted from the bar.

Oh,

I'm to say that

now. She's like

sinned this many types. Either that or they did recruit someone, but there was a gap. So they didn't, they didn't recruit when G handed a notice since there was no handover.

spa, isn't it? It.

Yeah, I.

Oh dear. Oh dear. so Kay has replied to their email saying it's actually 25% to pay asking. We won when we want to do our menu tasting and spells the groom's name

Oh no. If you wanna lose trust in someone, that's just the first way to do it. And it spell someone's name wrong. Put the wrong date, you know?

cringe

Yeah, yeah,

We go ahead and send a firm email with the following details. Love Affirm email. Can I

yeah. Yeah.

corrected the groom's name spelling. They corrected K that we've had on menu

Oh yeah, they'd it.

In January, notes were

Shit.

We attach a copy of the notes along with our

Oh,

which states we are off menu Curry In the body of the email, correct Kay, about our payment schedule, which is the fi. It's the final 30% due as per contracted emails. Attach those. Also, we attach our entire previous email chain with G, which covers all our discussions. Something I'd expect would've been done they handed over to Kay,

Oh yeah. Can I just say what's happened here? A hundred percent. She's used her template. This is why I hate templates. This is why I hate templates. She's copy and pasted it over.

true.

You know, when you could just scream when you get an email, it screams template.

Yes. Yeah. And

She's not actually edited, uh, to refer to this couple.

or

Yeah,

spell it wrong.

yeah. Literally.

Oh, that's so annoying. It takes a good few days until Kay confirms that the venue are happy to honor our previous agreement. To be honest, I don't care that. It's maybe not their current payment plan. It's in our contract, and we were happy to hand over more money than they were asking for.

True.

We make the payment, notify Kay about the payment, and ask for confirmation and receipt again, another few days. Wait for the confirmation. That's bad.

Yeah.

And Kay. Also emails dates across for our menu tasting, the one we've already done. Told her we've had and given her our notes.

Oh

correct Kay

Christ.

and ask for the invoice receipt Like we have had for the last repayments. Once again, this takes a few days to be sent. So we are now Friday the 9th of May. We had a brief teams call with Kay to say hi and do some introductions. Now, personally, I think they should have done that before. Kay should have done that with them before she sent this

Yeah,

out.

I'm wondering if Kay even offered it or whether the couple asked for it.

Uh, my confidence in her ability is lacking to put it politely.

Yeah.

run through a load of questions. She has no answers for us,

Mm.

the end of the call reads them back and says she'll do a load of things that day, which she does not.

Oh, this is my, is such a big thing. Set your client's expectations. Like I always add on a, like I say to you sometimes, don't I? Like, when can you get this to me by, you'll say, oh, next Wednesday. I'll tell them, I'll get it to them Friday just in case. 'cause things happen and, but I'm always give a day, always set the client expectations. Don't just say, I'll do that today. If, you know, you can't just say, I'll have it to you in a couple of days. And if you have it done that day.

Fantastic. Yeah,

Yeah.

right. Yeah.

Hmm.

Oh dear. Is getting worse now. Um, we chase on, so they had this on the Friday, this

That was Friday. Chase Tuesday. Yeah.

We follow? Yeah. Uh, asking for updates. We get a reply the following day saying she needs to talk to the new head chef to check about the food. And she's, so the bride's now panicking, um, and

Uh.

blows off all the other queries, the evening food, hotel room rate for the night before, among other things that's really bad

Yeah.

is going to talk to the head chef and operations manager on Monday, the 19th of May, and provide an update. Early in the week as they cannot guarantee that the food we tried in our tasting will actually be served on our wedding day.

Oh,

That's

shit.

We have asked for another menu tasting if

Yeah, a hundred percent.

One of the reasons we opted for this venue was that they could cater for our food options. No response on this so far. That's

wedding's in July. This is last mean. That's just pure mean.

I feel like that they knew about this and that's why they kept saying about a menu tasting in the hopes that they would just, I dunno,

Yeah. Maybe he just wouldn't realize.

something.

Yeah, maybe J maybe. But then if they'd had the taste it maybe their chef's changed as well

It's bad, isn't it?

Because sometimes it's like I, a lot of caterers would say no to like do an Indian or Thai or anything cuisine unless there's like that, that, that kind of caterer. Do you know what I mean? So I wonder if maybe the last chef was Thai or something. So could do it. They've changed the chef. Hmm.

good, is it?

No,

Oh dear.

I love this. Thank you for making it this far. If you have,

we have,

yay.

hope I'm not coming off as deranged or needy. Not at all. Not at all. As I said at the start, I'm ready to go nuclear with an email stating we are not impressed with the changeover, food issues, and lack of answers to questions we asked nearly a month

Yeah.

I want to give them a deadline of next week to have all. To have answered all outstanding queries so that they're sorted prior to our final meeting. Is this too much? Am I expecting too much from the venue?

No, because that's like basic stuff, like night before, room rates, stuff like that. Like they should be able to just evening food. They should just be able to answer that. But I would think that. It's the experience of the coordinator. She probably just doesn't know. She doesn't wanna say yes to staff. I'm wondering if G maybe used to be a yes girl. And then they've maybe said like, oh, that's why she used to piss us off. Or, do you know what I mean? Like if someone slated her, then

Yeah.

yeah, yeah,

promised more than they, she can

yeah. And this new coordinator's thinking, oh my God, I can't do that, you know? Yeah.

the case, perhaps it should be that they're honest and open about that rather than leaving them with like, no answers to

Yeah.

just, just say, look, we can't do this, this, and this, but we can

Yeah.

But.

And she said here, like, I don't wanna burn bridges, but it's stressing me out. Doesn't seem, but yeah. And a hundred percent. And I think that is the difficult thing, is it? Sorry. Well, let's finish it and then I'll say that bit.

yeah. No, that's fine. Um, so yeah, uh, she just wants to know how should we handle this? We're gonna have to continue working the venue. wanna burn bridges, but it's stressing me out and doesn't seem professional. Some of my reasoning for going all in at the venue is that we trusted our other suppliers to be there. us on the day we've met our photographer for an engagement shoot and he was great. Our florist has been at the venue recently and checks in with us.

Yes.

Thank God. Yeah, that's a

Thank God for that. You ain't gotta worry then.

worry. Let let them go to

Be fine.

with 'em.

Just focus on the food. Yeah.

Any advice on how to resolve our situation and ideally not sour the relationship with the venue would be hugely appreciated. A stressed out bride.

Oh, so I would say that that's great that you've got an on the day coordinator because one of my things was good. I was then gonna say was, oh, I get that you don't wanna burn bridges 'cause you don't want them to then be shitty on the day. But actually if you've got a coordinator, it don't really matter if. Okay, isn't there, who cares? I would make sure that your coordinator knows all of this, basically forward her this email.

Yeah.

Um, so they know to realize on the day that there might be issues. But yeah, this food thing, I would just say, I mean, you know, you sent this to us, uh, a week or so ago, so we're only now responding to it, and by the time this goes out, um, you probably would've done your final meeting. So I'm hoping. It's gonna go one or two ways, isn't it? It's either gonna go, well, you're either gonna have said all this to her and you're gonna rewind it out.

Yeah,

a doubt.

I don't think that they should hold back either with,

No,

flagging up their,

don't.

like discrepancies with the venue because that what

No, because it's all legit. Like you don't need to be angry, do you? You can just say, look guys, like you've got it. You've literally dated everything to us. Yeah. And you can say, look, you know, we really liked G She was great. Um, you know, it was Alre all already gave us a bit of anxiety to know that somebody else was coming board. But we get it and look. Guys, it happens. You can't beat up the venue for getting a new coordinator because it happens. That's a hospitality industry for you.

be. Yeah, you're right. Totally.

can just apply for a job and have no experience and get it. And um, and unfortunately it happens and maybe this is what's happened, but I would just go above that. I would, I would take a, raise that out, speak to the hotel manager and ask for the chef to be there as well and discuss this menu thing.

a really good

But also why are they, oh, when was the, uh, made you say, oh, January. So it wasn't even that long ago.

was gonna say, yeah.

I thought maybe it was last year, and then that's why you do your tasting six months before. So these issues don't happen. But if it was only in January, Hmm. That's weird, isn't it? I'm kind of hoping it's just a miscommunication from this coordinator's point of view. She's just a little bit, you know, she's new, she's probably been thrown in the deep end and she's just miscommunicating to the chefs or something. Um.

there must be some kind, something along the way. Something's got, like you say, lost in translation

Yeah.

they if it was in January, surely by what we now may like,

Yeah.

have, even if the chefs changed, like. When did the other woman leave? Hang on, let's have a

February. Yeah.

three months ago. So

Yeah.

like some, can't just say, well, we're not gonna do your

You are not doing it to your food. Yeah, exactly. It's ridiculous.

like, and if

That you need to, you need to stick to. Yeah, that a hundred percent. And getting those questions, I mean, obviously you've probably done your final meeting now, but Yeah, I would a hundred percent put a deadline on it. They should have all those questions answered. And also they are the kind of things she should be able to tell you off the top of her head.

feel like a final meeting should be what it says, and

Yeah,

meeting. So your

exactly.

answered then and there

A hundred percent.

Oh, I'll let you know. I'll let you

Yeah,

be answered. That's the

I'd love an update on this one. Let us know how it went. Um, but yeah, a hundred percent. Stick to your guns. Make sure that you get that food that you tried. And that's the big thing for me. Everything else I wouldn't really worry about. 'cause your coordinator can manage the day. Um,

Yeah.

but yeah.

like the, the management so you don't have to worry about the venue, like not being

Yeah.

because they'll be making sure that it is so.

And they should also, if you've hired a good day of coordinator, be sending out all of your wedding plans and everything to your suppliers, getting in contact with them a couple of weeks before so they can then iron anything out with a venue. So I essentially, when I do a day off, we get all the information from our couple, but anything we're not sure of, we then contact those suppliers to make sure we've got that information essentially. So, yeah.

well, we hope it's, um, better from here on out

Yeah. And have the best day as well.

let us

Yeah,

as

yeah,

final meeting and everything, we wanna

yeah. We wanna know. Cole. Next up we've got, um, hi girls. Love the podcast. Thank you. Um, need your advice. I'm getting married in a few months and I've heard that you should always expect that a few guests will cancel. Last minute. We have a buffet dinner and are wondering if we should give our venue a lower guest number so we don't sit on the cost of those who don't show up.

Yeah. I mean, it is literally is a case of just moving chairs around, surely, isn't it?

Yeah, don't, no, don't add place sentence. 'cause that really does is annoying.

add

Add in place settings also. You're not gonna have to wanna worry like the day before or on the day being like, oh, by the way, to your coordinator, can you just add two seats on this place setting? Or even worse, when people are actually sitting down, they're like, uh, there's not enough. Places on that. Do you know what I mean? Unless you set up yourself the day before, then it could work. And if you're putting place cards out, you could just ask them then to add a place set in, that's fine.

yeah. Because I feel like with Buffet, some people don't eat as much as others. Do they

No. Yeah, exactly.

and then others are like

Yeah, exactly. Or just, um. If you know there's certain people that you definitely don't think are gonna come, then just take them off and then, but, but also say to those people, I need to know at least a week before, and then just add them on a week before. I'm wondering if it's 'cause the venue has said you have to cater for a hundred percent of your guess. And then in that circumstance, you're just gonna have to, I feel like they would charge you even just to add the chair on.

yeah. No,

you know,

yeah.

I would just be honest with them. Say we don't need to cater for everybody. Cater for 90%. This is like, yeah. And like say send the table pan the day before.

When,

So two days before,

know, like with evening food, isn't that done on a percentage

yeah. We normally say 75 to 80% for evening. Yeah. Yeah. You don't wanna cater for everyone. Definitely not. Cool.

okay, here we go. So, girls. I have a, are they the asshole? Are they the assholes? Oh,

Oh,

they the assholes? So when we started looking for wedding venues, we had a big problem with the food choices. have guests from different countries, vegans and picky eaters in general. How the bloody hell can we make all our guests happy by just choosing one meal? we asked all the venues if they could make at least an exception for our vegan guests, they said No.

Right.

that's unusual.

Yeah.

even find a venue that gives us the option of choosing between three meals. Why is that so hard to find? And are they the assholes for making it so difficult? the end, we found a venue that offers a buffet option, and we went with that one. I know buffets are hated in the wedding industry. Please, could you explain why, but we wanted to be sure that every guest can find something to eat and no one has to be hungry. And who wants to spend a shit ton of money on food that no one eats or likes?

I mean, we are here to run away. To

I think they're the assholes. How? Who doesn't do a vegan freaking meal these days?

I think it's because

Oh,

hake or a hat. So she said three options. So she wants two meat and a vegan, whereas venues will only do set menus with a vegan option Now. I don't understand why they've said no, they're the assholes for that. I understand why caterers charge more money for it. 'cause it's more admin, it's more, you need more staff on the day. It's, you need more food because you're always over cater because all you get on the day is people are like, oh actually can add the beef, not the chicken.

a hassle really,

it. Huge, huge 'cause for service. It's quite easy. You set it up on, its able,

you later. Grab a

but also we've discussed this a lot haven't we? About the time consuming, you know, getting a table up. Sat back down, table up. Yeah. It takes ages. It's so long. It's easy to just, it's easy for a venue, which I know is bad. And yes, they are the assholes for wanting to make life easier because it is easy to just go, bash, bash, bash out with the same thing. But yeah, they should definitely offer a vegan.

So, so basically what she's saying is that they wanted to have a choice menu.

I think so. Yeah.

so the venue could do a vegan meal if they had a set menu.

of course I can. That's like.

a set menu, didn't I? And then they just had a vegan option. Gluten-free

Yeah, exactly that. So everyone has chicken. Unless they state that they're a vegetarian or a vegan, then they have the vegetarian or vegan option. Yeah, there's no choice. I think she wants choice, which, so you've done it, done right. Going with a buffet, I suppose Sharon platters are really nice on the tables. 'cause you can just whack 'em on. You haven't got, get people up. I don't like the look of a buffet.

It's not

Oh yeah. True, true. Sorry, Hailey. But the one thing I would say is, what I would say is don't worry about like, like what everybody like, like I think you just gotta f the thing is no one's ever gonna like the same things are they? You've got different cultures, different people, like it's very hard to cater for everyone, and I think you just gotta, you just gotta focus on what you like and what you wanna have.

That if people don't like it, we'll. The day's not about them. Is it?

Yeah. No,

Like

exactly.

if you have got like a substantial amount of people come in that you know are vegan and you, you know, have vegan options, it's

Yeah.

kind of thing. But I wouldn't like base your entire wedding meal

No.

around it. I

And do you know what? I kind kind of should take that back a little bit because I had a barbecue for my wedding that you went up to, but I felt like it was a different vibe because it was a barbecue. She went up and got your meat and got your, do you know what I mean? And I had a small guest. I only had 50 people. So maybe it's different. You went IQ and I'm just a visiting trestle tables with a,

We

know.

through well quick as well with you. I don't remember thinking,

Because there was only,

Yeah.

five tables, so there was no weight. Everyone just went up as and when you know they wanted to go up.

been to a hundred guest wedding where they had one food

Yeah. That's not good.

like

So I think it depends on your guest number. If you've only got like 50 people, then yeah, just put on a buffet and just like what I did, I just had it rolling for an hour and you just get up and help yourselves. Great. But yeah, I just, I wouldn't get too fixated on what people, I also find, like I've been to weddings myself and I'm quite a fussy eater, and you end up trying stuff that you wouldn't normally try in a restaurant

Yeah.

you, yeah, it's not something you would choose, but you've gotta eat it.

that's what I

So.

you just put it aside for the couple's day. You know, it's just one day you might have to eat something perhaps you wouldn't normally.

Yeah.

and like if you are a vegan or vegetarian and like, you know what I mean? That's a

Oh yeah.

I mean

You've gotta eat chicken.

Yeah. Get it down. Yeah. You know, it's just, but actually like if you're just thinking of people that are different. Culture, I

Yeah. Cultural,

Culturally.

cultural preferences or you know. Yeah.

you know, that's kind of like tough luck. You eat what

Yeah. But again, this is also why caterers and venues do do the set menu with, you know, people say, you know, oh, I don't want the stand to just chicken or beef. That's because it's a crowd pleaser. It's called a crowd pleaser for a reason. People generally like it.

the beef.

They love it. Yeah, beef and then like a risotto or something of a veggie. Like for me, I wouldn't eat the beef Maine, but, so then I'd just say, can I be a veggie please? And then I'd eat the risotto.

Love it.

Yeah.

Well, so we kind of think they're half the asshole. The game of

I feel like it's a mix here. Yeah,

of an asshole, sort of, not an

they are. I get, I get,

an asshole.

there's a reason that it is difficult, but I get why it's frustrating for couples and I think, again, it's just for us to educate people as to why it's difficult. Yeah, like imagine having like four different options and all these different options and then the staffing staff have got, okay, the service is just not as smooth. It is a lot harder. And then you're gonna complain because it's not smooth and it's taken too long. Um, and if it just, like I say, it depends on the size of the kitchen.

I agree.

the pun,

Nah.

you're an asshole for running at all. And also agree like you don't wanna spend shit tons of money on people, food that people don't like. I'd go for something that you and your other half love and is very you and enjoyable. A sharing platter is amazing nowadays. Charcuterie mee, for starters, main course, mi a couple of different meats. Salads, potatoes. Ask for something like that.

D

then people just help themselves. Love it.

nice.

little dessert station for, for afterwards or just skip the starter and just do a nice, like, uh, just do canapes as your starter.

Yeah. Yeah.

yeah, there you go. Hopefully that helps. Or have a barbecue like I did, sick on a barbecue. And people just help themselves to whatever they want.

your old self.

Help yourself.

All right guys. Well that's, uh, I think we're up to date now with our listeners' questions

I think we are.

but.

us know if we're not, if we've missed one.

do send them in. Um, we obviously, we love to hear from you. We love answering your questions and it's also really

do.

people 'cause we'll be answering something that someone else might be to know. Like obviously we've just

Yeah.

like, we got all the behind the scenes. I. So Hannah

Yeah.

about the catering, so,

Yeah.

all very helpful. But, um, but you know, you can send us your questions too. Let's get you Word [email protected] or you can DM us. We're on Instagram and we're on TikTok. It's at Let's Get You Word podcast. Um, and we release a new episode every single Thursday.

And do you know that this one will be going out in June?

Oh, written now,

June? Yeah.

No,

no. Is it coming out tomorrow? Okay. Our next time we record is gonna be June.

That's right.

It's June this weekend.

This year has gone so quick.

it's hideous.

I'm aging rapidly, I swear to God. Oh my

That's working in the wedding industry, babes.

us, not us, but mainly me.

No, that's having a child.

That really has done it, to be honest.

Bless you.

Oh, catch you later

Thanks

guys.

Bye.

Bye.