Kids at weddings, yay or nay?

Hey, hey.

Hello, how are you?

I'm good. How are you?

yeah, no, I'm good. I'm good.

I was gonna tell you something very important. I was in New Look yesterday and I, they had a whole shelf of like, white, Either stilettos, block heels, pointy toe, round toe, white shoes,

yeah,

under, like, reduced in the sale, under ten quid. I'm like, brides to be, get down there. Or they probably have them online. But I thought that was mental, isn't it? Because it's summer coming up. Like, wedding's coming up. Yeah, you wouldn't have thought.

discounted?

Yeah,

But that's really

so they're,

you're getting, like we were saying last week, you can go get them and then you can stick some pearls on

yep,

you know,

yep, diamantes, whatever you want to do, or just keep them as they are because you don't see them anyway, so Yeah, bejazzle. So yeah, I thought I'd just slip that in there straight away for you. There you go

you're getting all the tips here.

Shall we go?

Let's do it.

Hi, I'm Hannah,

And I'm Hayley

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you.

How are you?

I'm good. Yeah, not bad. like I'm getting into a bit of a routine now.

Nice, yes.

But,

I suppose she's at that age now, isn't she? A couple of months old. Yeah.

robust. I can chuck her over my shoulder and

Yeah. She should just be used to being in the world now, shouldn't she, really, you know?

That's it. Get used to it. Get, get in with my life and the

Yeah.

I've actually been working. So,

Well, she should be working by now, shouldn't she? Two months old.

my freelancer.

Yeah! Free labour.

Yeah, oh dear, oh I think I've been quite busy, you know, actually, with like,

Have you?

like work, I'm back, sort of, half working now. ha,

work. She never left.

No, I didn't really,

No.

the joys of being self employed, you know,

Yeah.

it's,

Literally.

it's good though. I I had a wedding confirmed today for end of August and

Nice.

good one as well. So it's local to me.

Yeah.

funny enough lately, I've had quite a few like church Like we were talking

Yeah.

the

Mm hmm.

week. I've got a lot of church wedding ceremonies and then they're

Nice.

a separate venue.

Yeah.

And so lots of church flowers. So I've been dealing with lots of like vicars.

Our favorite people.

yeah,

them the podcast, anybody.

don't follow this.

Or maybe

But

they will. Maybe that would make them think about the way that they treated

Yeah,

you. Maybe.

But they've been there to be fair they've been very accommodating so

Good. Yeah.

yeah, just going and so wedding coming up in a few weeks time that me and you're working on together

Lovely.

Can I come at 3 o'clock?

can I? Cause I can feed the baby and then I can whip down.

I'll just whip over. But the church where they're getting married is, is, is the same direction as I used to do a bit of freelancing for Soho Farmhouse. So,

Yeah, nice.

is, but if you don't, it's basically centre parks for the rich and famous, the artists

Yes.

world.

I wanna go.

Oh yeah, literally, when I was freelancing there, it was the most incredible place.

I bet.

I can't even explain, it's like going into another world.

Yeah, did you get any free day passes or anything when you were there?

unfortunately.

Bad times.

it was annoying.

But you used to have to be a member, but you don't anymore, do you?

Well, I don't know. I thought you, I thought, so when I was working there, there was like, to be a member, you couldn't just be, like, even if you were really famous, if they didn't like what you did, wouldn't let

Yeah, you have to, like, be introduced as well, don't you? You can't just, like, go online and sign up.

Yeah, literally, and I think you have to be kind of artistic, something like that. You've got

Oh, okay. Yeah, but I feel like it's

Oh,

changed. I feel like you, Yeah, I feel like you don't have to be a member anymore. You can just, like, buy a day pass to the spa, almost. It probably costs an arm and a leg, but we'll have to look at it.

incredible place. So obviously I used to work with the weddings, and the

Yeah.

yours, I mean I'm talking like their minimum budget is like 150 grand,

Yeah.

on a Thursday.

Oh. I didn't even know they did weddings.

and they were insane. The flowers we did were like, honestly, like, we were

Yeah.

mean, one time we hung flowers, suspended flowers, all from the barn. There's like a main barn there

Nice.

place. Completely like, all of these artificial roses just hanging from the ceiling. Like,

Stunning.

wires, like, all sorts.

Yeah.

like a what do you call them? The cherry pickers,

Cherry.

like installing these huge installations. I mean,

That's amazing. So when you say you're freelancing, as in they hired you to come in and do it, or

I had a when I did my level 4 at college, I had a friend there who, she was the floristry manager. She got a job there,

So it's all in house. So you book your wedding there and you book your flowers with them. Yeah.

done

Wow. God, that is like a center park. She'd do everything in one place.

was incredible though. Great experience. So

Yeah, I bet. I'd love to look at that because I don't, I don't know if they still do. I've never like, you know, like in, you hear like, I've got a lot of friends that are planners. You know, we, we, we, the circles we are in are real wedding suppliers and I've never heard anybody ever mention it. So I don't know if they do them anymore. Maybe not. I don't know. Yeah. So maybe it's all changed. Hmm. Brought back some memories. Wow. Nice.

but but yeah driving to this church it was the same, same way. It was just a little trip down memory lane. I was like, good times, experiences. But but yeah, so doing a lot of sort of, I guess the background work for, upcoming weddings. So going to churches, measuring things, making sure I know where good

Yeah.

when I

And we have to be quite careful, don't we, like, you know, some churches have like certain restrictions and some are like, yeah, come when you want, like this one that we're doing in April. Or some are like, yeah, come at 3am. Some are like, no, you can only go at this time. So it's working out all those logistics, isn't it? And things like, if there's certain places they want flowers in the church, some don't care and some are like funny about it, aren't they?

they are. Yeah. So luckily. This, this church is lovely. It's very, it's a

Yeah.

church. It's quite small and

It is, it is small, isn't it?

Yeah, it's like, what, 15th century or

church.

Yeah,

that they're doing as well is that all their generations of, of, you know, the grandmas, the aunties all have got married there and they all had this same photo of the bride and groom under the entrance arch and they're going to recreate that and she was like, yeah, like my mum and dad have got the picture, they've got the picture with me at my christening. So yeah, I love that. What a lovely, what a, it's just, I think,

isn't it?

yeah. And do you know what? I think, I think so many people do still get married at churches because of that family tradition. And I think if you have a church in your village that all your family have got married at, then it makes sense. It doesn't make sense to me when people are just like, Oh, I'm going to get married at the church because it looks nice. But we're not religious.

Yeah, we're

Yeah.

but we're just going to get married in a church for the I'll just

I've never understood church weddings if you're not religious, but I do understand it if it is like a family because obviously back in the day You only got married at the church like there wasn't civil ceremony licenses and celebrants and all these kind of things

done thing,

Yeah,

Well, I find that, yeah, I know what you mean. It's a little bit odd just going there for basically the aesthetics, isn't it?

yeah,

wedding because it looks really nice. This church is amazing, but

yeah, and I don't get it No,

That should put you off. Also, it's not a case of you just say I want to get married in a church. You have to have your bands read and all of that

yeah, have you marriage counseling

months before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have all sorts. No.

I don't

Exactly.

when they

No.

a

And you're doing your vows to God as well, aren't you? You're not doing it to each other, it's like Yeah. Well, glad you had a good week anyway.

How was yours?

Yeah, busy, mental. I had, it was my first two wedding weekend. Which I don't actually do anymore, right? I don't do back to backwards. I don't do it anymore. No,

I backed them up. I don't actually do back to back weddings anymore. Yes, you

I did. So I did, I did a private wedding on Friday, they hired us for on the day management, and then Saturday I was freelancing. So yeah, it was knackering, I'm not gonna lie, because when we, when we do on the day management, like, it's a full on day, and then travel as well, we were going to London and back, so, and then yeah,

Travelling, travelling to and

yeah.

sometimes,

Kills ya.

London driving,

Yeah. Oh, well I went driving. I was that we was training. So

train.

into the train station, then you get on a train, then you've got to go on the tube, then you've got to walk a bit. Yeah. I think it's worse. Yeah. Killer

Oh

So yeah, no, it was tiring, but it was really nice. And you know what? They were two very different weddings. Like the one we did on Friday in London was just we get, to be honest, we, it's probably kind of our vibe cause that's what we kind of get hired for. But very like. wanted it to look lovely you know, quite particular in what they wanted, but at the same time just really wanted a good old party. Their first dance was like, not, they, they, they had Take a Chance on Me from ABBA.

Oh my

And, I don't know, and All their guests had like the heart shaped sunglasses on and the foam sticks in their hands. And honestly, it was so cool that everybody was just da like, they didn't do like, it wasn't just them two, like, everybody was dancing and it was just a really cool vibe. Whereas the next day was probably a little bit more like traditional, I would say. But yeah, the, the wedding we did on Friday was awesome.

I

She did.

we sometimes say about wedding tap, but that is.

It was good. No, it was, it wasn't tat. It was like snacks and drinks. There was no tat. It was, yeah, exactly. So I gave them out then. Yeah, I gave them out to all the guests before they got on the bus. I then went on the bus because I was at the town hall and Chloe was at the reception venue doing that side. I was doing the bribe management side. So I went on the bus because it just makes sense. It was a point of me getting the tube. And honestly, it was such a good atmosphere.

you get a party bag?

Do you know what I did?

I

Yes, I did. Me and Chloe both got one and we was buzzing. I was like, Chloe's gonna love this because she loves stuff like that. But yeah, so we plugged, I plugged my phone in and, and put on a playlist and stuff for them and to the bus, which is like, they're really, really old, but they've obviously set it up so you can plug your phone in. Love that. And it, they, everyone, the, the parents were doing shots of fireball on the bus.

Oh my god.

Someone started handing it around like one of the groomsmen and obviously the parents were like, What's this? Oh, well, we'll do some. Oh, lovely. So this mate, the

I was like, god, memories. Memories.

photographer was on the bus, she was getting loads of lovely photos. It was just, it was really, really cool. And then when we got there, you know, she'd done like Personalised napkin, the napkins had like their initials embroidered into them. And then, what I thought was really cool was, They wanted to do, it was just them two that did a speech. They didn't have any other speeches. They didn't have bridesmaids. They didn't have groomsmen. They didn't have a best man.

did they have them racked up? Like on a

It was on, like, a real they bought this, like, glass drinks trolley. It was really nice, that they're gonna keep at home.

so cool. I

They're so cool. Really nice people. And then, they did their table numbers. They had, like, 1, But there was a photo of each of them when they were that age. Like, 1,

I did a wedding where they they'd done that before and

It's cute innit? Yeah.

have done that, and then we went down that route, but actually in the end, we just

that's difficult though innit? Finding pictures when you're 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, you know.

It's just, it's like, I'm bored now.

Yeah, like, Mum, have you got any pictures of me?

Raid the

I definitely to him? Mum, I look older.

how can you tell what age you are? It's

Yeah, so really good, very personal. Absolutely loved it. Nicest, just nicest couple. She got changed as well. She had quite a vintagey dress in the day. And then she got changed into a short dress, had a big bow on the back. Really nice.

I

Yeah. And they do you know what as well? So the weddings, like I say, were so different. The Friday wedding, I turned up in the morning. The bride's getting ready. They're booked like this really cool industrial vibes. Airbnb in central London. There was people everywhere. There was, well, they didn't have bridesmaids, but they had like, she had friends who were in like, the same, like, similar colored dresses, and there was dads there, and aunties, and uncles.

that.

Oh, no.

that.

day, I turn up. Lovely bride, but it's literally her and her daughter, silence in the room, very calming, you know, just very, like, getting ready for the day, you know, daughter was very excited, bless her, but yeah, I was like, what different vibes, the wedding on the Friday had zero children, it was like party on down, Saturday, 25 percent of the guests on Saturday were children.

Oh, they couldn't have been more different.

Literally, yeah, which is it's good. It's nice in our job, isn't it? Doing things that are different. So yeah, weather is a bit hit and miss each day, but it was fine. They both made the most of it and they both got indoor venues, so

Yeah.

too bad, you know, so yeah. But yeah, no, it's been, aside from that, I have to do a shout out and a big thank you to my very good friend and co host, Hayley.

Oh! Oh, Oh, that's me! That's me!

That's, that's me. So basically, I probably have mentioned this on the podcast, but I was obsessed with getting, basically I wanted for my own wedding, a roll top bath. And I had this idea in my head, basically my other half loves baths. He He's obsessed with the bath, he loves it. So I wanted a lovely bath at the wedding that we could put loads of ice and stuff in ciders and stuff. And then later on, we're gonna empty it out, get Martin in the bath, you know, like, just as a joke.

now knows

Well, they do. Yeah, this is true.

support.

Hopefully no guests are listening. It's a surprise. No, it's not. Anyway, I was trying to find one of these rolled top baths and I was like, right, I'm just gonna buy one and then I'll sell it afterwards. Every time I found one on Facebook Marketplace, it was either the the, the, the, I've got mine blank now. What are they called? Oh, cast iron ones. So they're really heavy. And my plan was. I'll find an acrylic one, whack it in the car, and then it'll be fine and dandy.

Amazing.

good price,

great

Great deal. It was just down the road from Hayley's, so I thought,

Hmm.

heavy, so it was a cast iron one. So I thought, who can lift a bath and has got a van? Ah, my good friend Hayley.

Oh, muscles over here.

So I messaged Hayley, I said, oh, do you mind? She said no, so she whipped on down there a couple of days later, didn't ya? Took the baby for a little ride.

yeah. I don't hang around, okay? Right, if I know that that's

And it wasn't actually that heavy, was it? It wasn't too bad, I didn't think.

to be fair. Sometimes they're ridiculous. Depends which end you hold as well, because one

and it wasn't huge. It's not huge, is it? It's quite a small one.

No, it

then

nice condition as well. We were lucky with

Yeah, really good condition, isn't it?

I was like, wow,

Yeah, so I paid 50 quid for this bath Lovely. Yeah, I mean you're more than happy to keep it but so it's currently being stored at the venue in their cellar

I think watching you and Dan who also shout out to

Yeah, shout out to Dan

Getting it done the stairs, I scurried back

We were literally at a venue in the middle of, it's literally in the middle of nowhere, there's nobody else about. So we abandoned her van because we couldn't drive any further, we had to take it across the lawns to the cellar. Carrying this bath. So Hayley was like, I should probably go back to my baby. I think she'd, she'd had enough. Yeah, she'd had enough. So she used the baby as an excuse to bail.

look awesome.

Yeah, thank you so much for your help. It made my dreams come true.

time you need a bath moving, you know who to

Hailey's your gal. Do you know what as well? God, I've got to tell you about this. See you in this Facebook group the other day. I screenshotted it to tell you about it.

my god. Oh, oh

bride's group, yeah. And I don't know whether it's like, someone's joined this group, that knows her and hates her. Or somebody in the grou Or, somebody in the group, Oh, I shouldn't laugh, it's really bad. Or someone in the group has just I don't know had a jealous streak or what but basically you get a lot of this in these facebook groups, right? People post them a bit. I don't get it myself. I'm not gonna lie Yeah, on the fly. It wasn't me. It wasn't me!

I

brave.

send a photo of me in my dress to anybody when I was like,

No.

so paranoid because I said it to the wrong person or,

And it's on a very public forum, you know. There's like

so

000 brides in this group. Like, they're big.

in quite a

Yeah.

there.

or they'll post up and be like, Oh my god, I'm so excited, I did my final dress fit in today. You know, that kind of thing. Anyway, it transpires that these brides have been doing this, and somebody has been then searching, do, like, they are like the, what's that, what's the thing called? The, the, the whisperer or something on Bridgerton. The, the,

Whistledown?

yeah, that's it, Lady Whistledown. They've been doing a Lady Whistledown. They've been searching out who their other half is and sending the pictures to their fiancées. How

Right,

is that? Ha ha ha ha.

listening to this podcast, we would love to have you on as a guest. Because, is Like, it's awful.

That is so bad. It's so mean and obviously this person you They don't know, but then also surely they must know who, oh well, no I think they're creating, obviously they know who the person is because the fiance's got the message from this person, but it's a fake profile, you know. So it's either someone that's joined the group that knows this person, that doesn't like them, or, yeah, it is someone that's just thought, I'm a bit bored today, what can I do? There's

some brides on a Facebook

someone on maternity leave I'm trying to put out there.

Oh my god, I'm like, who would do that? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha!

No, we laugh, but it is really mean. But I just think maybe keep these things. I don't know, like, have you got friends or family or

group,

I felt like I'd go to

you're putting it on there, you're asking for trouble.

Yeah, I felt like maybe send it to the people that Or just don't. Like, you probably I would say probably 90 percent of the time, brides take somebody with them to find their dress. So just trust their judgement. I don't know. Or trust the shop person's judgement. Like, my lady, who when I was picking my dress, was very honest with what she thought. And actually, when I picked the dress that I have, she cried.

Wow. I don't even know you!

Yeah,

But

literally, she gave me, she literally said that. She gave me a hug, she said, I don't even know you, but I'm so happy for you. I was like, well,

And

well, you know. I know,

as you're happy in it, who gives a shit about everyone else's opinion?

think people get in their own heads, don't they? And I've done it as well, I'm like, do I actually like it, you know? But.

can't talk. I got mine so far in advance, then I start panicking thinking

Yeah, this is and this is what people do and then they're writing about it on these groups But I do think maybe just go to like a friend or family, but maybe they think this is friend or family They're being nice. Whereas when you're you don't know people you're impartial maybe

yeah,

but

the world of social media, the world in general is not a nice place. Like, let's be honest,

yeah

on social media when you can be, you can say whatever you like behind a keyboard. Like, I

Keyboard warrior. Yeah, cuz

of me and my wedding

they could yeah, they could be saying mean thing Yeah, I mean everybody's always lovely in them. But yeah, clearly not

apart from

because Yeah, awful.

weirdo What a weirdo

Yeah. What a weirdo. So yeah, so that's been my week. Pretty crazy. But I know that we was you know, I kind of breezed over there about kids,

Oh,

the kids at the wedding situation. I know there's something that we have wanted to chat about in the podcast for a while, isn't it? So

It's

at weddings, is it a yay? Is it, is it a yay or is it a nay?

it depends doesn't it? I think so I mean, well, it does. It depends on you as a person. I think

Yes, I suppose. Yeah. True. Yeah.

like if so, when I got married, I didn't have kids at our wedding because I felt that people wanted to come and have a night off like a

Yeah.

Like if you are a parent, you would want to come. And also, I just felt like it wasn't really the place for like kids to be running around because

Mm.

know that, well, where I got married at Stowe, there's like quite a steep drop off the edges

Yeah. This is historical, isn't it?

Yeah, it's not really a place where kids can

No.

either. They're not going to have a good time being,

Exactly.

down for like an hour's ceremony, then a free course meal and all of that sort of

Yeah.

what they enjoy.

No.

So we didn't because I just didn't feel like it was appropriate for kids. I don't know. But then saying that now, obviously now I have a child

Yes,

my child was a bit older, Obviously, I feel like the dynamics are a bit different, so I suppose you would invite children so your kid's got someone to play with, I don't really know. But then I wouldn't get married

yeah,

so

yeah, but then but then I kind of disagree there because

Do you? Ha

All right. All right. All right

Ooh! Ha ha ha

I'm just gonna put out there. I am I'm a nae nae nae through and through of kids at weddings. Nae nae It's a don't know for me weddings are not for kids they It's not for them and I see so many brides that try and tailor their wedding around their kids They they don't really understand what's going on when you've especially when they're little kids at ceremonies And they they're bored out their wits and then they've got to sit there for a male

Yeah.

and then I feel like

a kid. It is.

Exactly, it's a really long day, and you know, yes, they have a great time on the dance floor in the evening, but yeah, maybe bring them along in the evening, but even then, like, I see so many, like, mums who, like, have this child just, like, tagging on to them all day because they don't understand. They're like, why is there a hundred people here that want to hold me? Especially when they're little, I'm talking little. I think when they're older, fine, you know?

bad

And I,

the bride and you're like in your

exactly.

when you're like a child and you've

Yeah, and I have so

going on

I've had so many brides say to me that oh, they're so confident. They're so sassy They'll be fine. You'll see on the day. And I'm like trust me doesn't matter how Confident this five year old is they're not gonna walk down that aisle and I always say this and I'm always very honest about it and on The day I'm always right Just put it out there. I'm just put out there, right?

I think it's a lot to ask of a child to be honest

Yeah,

especially if they're not confident sometimes you see it and they're like forcing them to walk down the

yeah, exactly. And they're like,

Yeah,

stresses the bride out as well because then she's like, What are we going to do? What are we going to do? Like, they're not walking down the aisle, they're stressed. Or like, you know, in that getting ready morning bit when there's kids there and they're, you know, it's just too stressful for them. And do you know what? Fine, if that's what you want to do, like maybe my, you know, I don't have children. Anybody that knows me knows I'm not a child person. I'm

Except with my child you love my

Oh, she's beautiful, bless her. But, I'm just, you know, I've got my two nieces, my bridesmaids, but they're like 11 and 13. To me, they're not children, they're literally like, I chat to them like they're mini adults. Yeah, literally, yeah.

say, there's so

stuff and Hmm.

did a wedding in London and they had like a, literally like a, this, this company came, they do like soft play for kids, like a

Yeah, like what?

come and

It's not a soft place, it's your wedding day.

it's a bit

It's not a kid's birthday party, alright?

Well that's it, and then you've got to spend all that money out extra

Mm hmm.

to entertain everybody else's kids. When at the end of the day, you could just say, look, it's, we're not having kids at our wedding because it's

Yeah.

But also, just come and have a good time on your own.

Exactly.

off, get a babysitter and have a

Have a day off.

a day off.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm all for a bouncy castle. Love a bouncy castle.

I don't know why. I don't know. It just, it depends, like on your family, your dynamic, like if that's what you want then fair enough, but I do feel like I was pleased that there weren't any, I'd be worried about kids if they were at our wedding.

Yeah.

looking

It's just a no no for me, it just wouldn't happen.

Like,

I swear to God, if anybody turns up with a child at my wedding, they will be sent home. Like,

awkward.

like, Lily in the corner, like, Waaah! Who is that child?

Yeah, and that's, there's

And this is, like,

during

I have Yeah, oh no, I would be fuming, but, and, and like I say again, this is coming from, maybe it would be different if I had my own children, like you say, but, and, and, and I get also that it is difficult because some, you know, like, who do you leave them with, because all your family are there, but there are some amazing, like, Wedding service people that come just to look after the kids, like they take them off, like, I've done weddings before where they've had like a separate room and

a childhood memory for me. So my uncle got married when I

oh yeah

they had like a clown. Like entertainer,

oh

we went in a room, all the kids

oh

a room, and I honestly, I think

Don't freak you out.

me.

I've never been bothered by clowns, but yeah, I can imagine.

up

Okay, people, hire them but without the clown.

It was, I just remember it being like, quite terrified,

You're basically telling everyone, you're telling the nation that, don't do that, it can be childhood trauma.

I was like, keep your bloody blow up balloon dog,

I,

of shit.

you were like, just leave me at home on my own.

I was like, get me out there with the wine. I was like, whatever, I knew what I wanted. Get me out there.

Do you know who I am? But now I think it's it. How did you get any push? Because we've had like

so,

pushback from any of our guests with kids. But I do think that's because A, they know us. We're both very similar in our thought process of children b when we did both our birthdays, we absolutely were like no children. and see, very much of our friends run similar lines to us that although they have children, they want, exactly like you said, they want a night off. They want to use that, and actually they'd probably not want, yeah, they don't want to.

that's fine though. They're

Yeah, like

Yeah,

want a night off. It's a couple of hours, you'll be fine! Yeah.

will miss my child. I'm not saying that but it's just nice once in a while to go out and let your hair down without worrying all of the time.

Yeah,

they shouldn't be

and carrying all their stuff and you know, but it was it's quite a bit It'd be quite a few of our friends there that will be like their first night out Without because they they've got new babies like similar to you Which is quite nice. So

Yeah. They can enjoy

Yeah, but yeah, did you get any pushback? So that that's my we didn't

know. So nobody, nobody did come back and say, Oh, that's out of order or anything like that. So a lot of our friends that came that do have kids, I feel like I sort of read the room and I feel like they wanted to perhaps come as well and just enjoy the day.

yeah

But yeah, And also, I think most of them, their kids are either at an age where they can be, like, left, they're not like,

Yeah, they're not really little

only child we had there was my nephew, so he was only five months old at the time though, so they're not really I, like, I feel like when you have, like, toddlers that are running around, they cause, like, a bit of mayhem, you

They do, yeah, trash the place.

months old, and I think, to be fair, whatever age he was, he would have come, because He was like very close family,

Yeah.

but otherwise it was like, yeah, we didn't have

I mean, I'm not gonna lie, that's still a no no from me. I'm, I am not gonna lie.

was so cute

If one of our, like,

on,

If one of our siblings now had a kid, I'd still be like, yeah, they're, they're not welcome. I'm gonna get so much heat, heat

oh,

Not that they're not welcome, just that like, why would you want to bring like a couple of month old baby to a wedding? I just, I don't get it. Are they? We went out for lunch the other day and Lily started crying the second you ate your food. Imagine sitting down to a lovely three course meal, the baby starts crying, you can't eat, then the caterer's got a delay clearing the starter because you can't eat your starter because the baby's crying like, no.

yeah, it'd be like what happened to me on Mother's Day, we went out for dinner. for dinner me and Richard and Lily obviously and like they served our starters and then she did like a punami and I was in the toilet with her had to change her clothes and everything I was in there for half an hour my starters was just there you know what I mean so

Yeah, bad times.

but like at five months old like five six months old they're a little bit more like that they got a bit more of

They're just in the pram. Yeah, I suppose.

and they're not and he was really well behaved to be fair, like, on, you didn't, I,

Yeah, I can't remember him being there if I'm honest.

there, that's

Yeah, because I would remember

he was so good but, yeah, like, at this age, like, with Lily, she cries all the, like, she

Yeah

a lot of

and I and I get as well like if it's like your say your sibling was getting married like again, all your parents and stuff would be there and

family. Like,

Yeah, and also it's yeah, and also like who's gonna look after the baby at home and you you don't want to leave your Little baby with a stranger. So yeah fair play

so that was, but no, nobody came back and said anything. And you know, I think people got respect. Like your wishes. Also it's how you word it on your, this is what I struggled with, how you word it

Yeah

Without sounding rude, like, we, like, we'd love you to come. I can't remember, I think I basically worded it like, you know, we would love you to come and have like a day out on your

Yeah.

so we're not having kids. Unfortunately, you know, something like that. I can't remember

I just wrote, leave the little shits at home, please. No! No, I didn't! No!

ha ha ha

didn't actually. No, I think we just said I can't remember. Like, we're having a child free wedding, we want you to have a night off kind of thing.

not an

Yeah. I don't think people would have been shocked, they probably already guessed as soon as they got the invite.

Bring your children

Yeah, they're

got

more than welcome. Ah! A bouncy castle!

my god.

Oh dear. But do you know what? Speaking about this though, Some people, I mean, I don't have much, I'm not gonna lie, A lot of the couples that book me are like child free weddings, or they don't have kids, or, I don't know, that's just maybe how I come across. But I've never planned a wedding where there's like hundreds of children. They're normally quite adult, you know,

Yeah.

a lot of stuff in London, we do a lot of stately home stuff, so like you said, it's probably not, like, appropriate kind of venues.

a child,

yeah, we do, you know, a lot of marquees, so that, you know, it's, yeah. So, we, I don't have ma I haven't had masses of, I haven't had masses of my couple say this, but I see, on like, Reddit, and on like, these Facebook groups, like, people fall out over this stuff. People are like, unless my child can come,

not

I'm not coming to your wedding.

Yeah.

And I am like, shocked by that. Imagine, imagine in five years there's me like I'm not coming to your wedding because of my child.

child's not invited.

But, would you have, have, as a parent, like, how do you feel about that?

I don't, honestly it doesn't bother me at all. It doesn't.

No.

Not because I, I, this is the thing, I feel like when you're a mum, right, you feel like you have to explain yourself. Oh, it's not because I don't love my child. I like, I wouldn't be offended because I, at the end of the day, if we're being

Hmm.

it's much easier for me not to bring her.

Yeah.

be honest,

Course.

older, like you say, but then that's different, like if they're a teenager or whatever.

Yeah.

require a lot of attention and a lot

Course.

looking after

Yeah. And you can't

like,

focus, can you? Like, even the other day we were out, me and Dan are chatting and you was kind of like, in and out of the conversation because you're like, trying to sort things out and check her and, you know.

also think it comes down to respecting somebody's wishes for their wedding. Like, if they

Yeah.

there, why, why would you, I wouldn't question that.

Question it. No.

that strongly and I, and I, and I couldn't get childcare or I, I really disagreed with it, I would just say I couldn't come. I wouldn't,

Yeah.

a fuss and I wouldn't argue about it.

No.

do feel like it's their

Yeah, they do. And people that are close. People that are like, it's like, oh, you know, you see where it's like, oh, my other half's sister in law or something. You're like, what? Like, they're literally like, Like, yeah, I'm not coming. And you're like,

Well

but you clearly, you've got another side to your family that could help potentially with childcare, you know,

exactly.

think like, oh, to just be that mean or that, like, you know, but at least be like, I'm trying to work it out or I can come to the evening or I can come to the ceremony. Like, but some people like really get angry. Yeah.

like, I don't like your child and I

Yeah.

come. It's not that,

It's not the case.

it to everybody, like, it's just a child free event.

Exactly.

like, at the end of the day, you wouldn't go on a night out,

No.

or whatever, and

Exactly with your kid. No, to the hen do.

Yeah, exactly. You wouldn't bring your

By the way, there's no children allowed at my hen do. I hope you know that.

don't know that. You know, you wouldn't, it's, it's again, it's like what, if, if that person is deemed that your, their, their event is not appropriate for children or whatever,

Yeah.

respect that.

Yeah.

yeah,

People are just fine. I sometimes think people, do they use it as an excuse?

Oh

Because they want, they don't want to go. They maybe don't like the, I feel, I feel like if you're the bride or groom right now and you've had this situation, it's not because they're a kid, it's because they just don't like you.

In fact, they probably went on a Facebook group and sent

Yeah!

of you in your wedding dress to your fiancé.

If that's happened to you, it's definitely them. It's definitely them.

Yeah.

couldn't, I just couldn't imagine getting angry with one of my friends. Or what, like my sister, or my brother, or anybody. Or, or like, or like my other half's family. I could just not imagine getting angry with them because my kid wasn't allowed. Because I'd just be like, yeah, fair play, it's up to you, it's your day.

Yeah,

Sure day.

Whatever makes you happy.

Even if it's like, ugh, annoying, I've got to find a sitter. Like, like, you know, you say,

that though?

you say that behind their back. Like, you don't say it to the face.

Exactly. No. Oh dear some people though You know some people just can't be

Some people.

they wanted to have a row They

Yeah, exactly. Please write in if you ever had this situation. I'd love to know. I'd love to know.

as well.

Shall we go on to the listeners questions?

Yes. What have we got this week?

What we got? Do you want to go first? What do

So hey ladies, we'd love to get your advice Is doing your makeup trial and your wedding dress shopping on the same day a good or a bad idea?

you think?

So I did have a good think about this I I wouldn't do it if you'll just try and dress on and you haven't found the dress Then I wouldn't have it on the same day. I think it because actually your makeup is and hair needs to go with your style of dress. So

Yeah, good point.

you're having like a high neck, for example, you get like a halter

Yeah.

or something like that, you may want an updo, like hair

Yeah, actually, yeah, that's a good point.

feel like you need to wait and see. And also it's probably quite overwhelming when in dress shopping and having your hair

Yeah, that's a lot, isn't it? Well, my first, my first thought was, No, because you're gonna get makeup all over when you try on your dresses on. Like, I don't even think the makeup, I'm sure they ask you to take makeup off, don't they, when you try on dresses? I'm sure they ask me to. Well, not that I wear makeup really, but I'm sure it was like in the notes when I booked the appointments, like, please make sure you come with like, no foundation or anything on.

Yeah, so I don't think they asked me to not wear makeup when I try them, I suppose, because you just kind of, well, it depends, but you step into them. But still, if you've got heavy makeup on. Not done it officially. No.

think of that. That's a good point. And I also think that you never buy what you went in to buy. Because everyone said that to me, you'll never get. And I

Oh yeah.

trust me, I've worked in

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

seen loads of

Same.

I know what I want. And then I bought something completely different. And actually

Completely different.

hair that I would have had with the dress that I had in my head, is very different to what I'm having. So

Well, when I tried mine on, I was blonde

Yeah,

married and I had really dark brown hair. So,

All

it

Cause yeah, that's

doesn't, you just don't know.

I would advise to probably always get your dress, like start looking like 12, like a year in advance because you have to

Yeah.

you know, your fittings get them booked in and whatever, and also some dresses, how long yours took quite a while to come, don't it, if you don't buy off the rack.

Yeah, I think I, so I ordered it in October and I think it came in the January.

a couple of

came in.

to be made depending on where you

Yeah.

as well, they need longer. So I'd say like, start looking a year in advance, your hair and makeup, really. I mean, my trials like a month before.

If anything, go with nothing on, just go all natural. So you think I look good in it with no makeup and hair, then I'm going to look amazing once I've

Exactly.

thing done. But yeah, my whole shebang, my advice would be no, don't, don't get it done. I think you need to wait until you know what you like style wise.

And leave your hair and makeup stuff till nearer to the time as well. Your

Yeah, definitely. Cause your opinion opinion what you want, like the style you might be going for that you've seen on Pinterest or whatever. I think doing it that early. Your opinion is going to change on what you want nearer the time, hair and makeup wise.

weight, lose weight, like, so that

Yeah, yeah,

So you might want different hair and makeup. Also, I think it's nice when you've bought your dress to go home and then do a little bit of, you know, look through photos of

yeah.

and hair and makeup

It's all part of the fun, I thought.

No, I

Yeah.

Okay, next up we've got Hey girls, love the podcast, whoop whoop.

Thank you.

you very much. Thoughts on confetti cannons or handfuls, traditional handfuls of confetti. I can't decide if I want four confetti cannons, two at the start and two midway. I think she means down like the confetti tunnel of people. Or everyone has handfuls of confetti. The confetti shot will be on a stone staircase with guests lined either side. So

okay.

on this is, I'm just not a fan of these cannons if I'm honest.

Well they go up really quick and you get one chance, don't you? And like, once it's done, it's done. Yeah. Yeah,

And also, yeah, if you've got someone that's messing about a bit, and you're literally gonna get when they burst, say you're what's right, say, it depends how many guests you've got as well, but say you've got like two, a tunnel of people, yeah, and you've literally got like a burst in your face. I don't think people realize that even when people, and you'll back me up on this Hayley from your confetti, when people chuck at you is actually quite a lot in your face. So imagine having

it is.

worth of confetti in your face.

BAM! BAM!

And if you've got someone that, like, isn't, like, thinks they're really funny and doesn't do it

Oh, yeah.

face, like, not great. Also, you're then

No.

a massive gap of no confetti, because they go off quick.

Yeah they do. It's like one big burst and it's, that's it.

I also thought as well, people like a bit of conf people love that, don't they? Getting a

People love that that whole thing of confetti. Yeah, and she mentions that it's gonna be on a stone staircase So I thought well this that's what I had. I had people lined up down this stone staircase So exactly the same and like the photographer should or they'll give like they're basically choreograph it don't know so they'll get all your

Thank

Yeah, all your court. Yes. Yes. Sorry. Sorry. They'll get everyone to line up and they'll say, like, throw it upwards. Don't throw it at you. And so they'll kind of like, you know, go through with the guests how to do it. So you'll get a really nice kind of flow of confetti. Cause I remember when my friends got married, everyone thought it was funny to like throw it at them and it was

Yeah.

top and everything.

And

And actually didn't give that look.

Yeah.

kind of makes them like, makes you be like, Ugh, and I feel like with a confetti cannon, you're kind of at risk of somebody thinking like it's jokes to just like pop it off at you.

Or, you know, and,

Yeah, and then you're done. There's confetti everywhere.

and then, and like I say, you're just gonna end up, especially if there's a staircase, you're not gonna be walking fast down that thing. So if you've got

No, that's the other thing.

and then you're walking, and then you're gonna have photos with nothing. And also, what's

Yeah.

when they're standing there, like, and they

Everyone else is like, woooo, ahhh, you're taking ages to come down the stairs, we're still here. But I think, I agree with what you said, I think guests really like it. I mean, I love confetti, like just, it's that traditional thing of everyone throwing it. And, and you can get some like really lovely, like we were saying, like the biodegradable, like

The paper,

petals and paper. And the paper, you said, like it falls really nice and slowly as well. And it's obviously being biodegradable, Disintegrates doesn't it? When it rains and stuff. So,

you just pick it up at the end, like,

yeah.

Yeah, so if you haven't listened to that episode as well, we always say get either the biodegradable paper, or if you're gonna go real petals, either get real petals that are, that are fresh, or get the bigger ones. Don't get that all broken up stuff because it literally looks like dandruff in your hair and it's, it's just awful stuff.

You want like the larger

Yeah, but

confetti petals if you can.

I'm not gonna lie, but yeah. I

Like I had dandruffed. I hope not.

picked, I probably stood there and picked all out your hair and was thinking, for God's sake, in my head.

Datmule!

Yeah.

No, but I think, yeah, I think the general consensus on that from us is to not have the cannons and go au naturel with

that's

people to pick it out

Yeah, we've made the

and just go around with like a nice basket. Your coordinator would go around and hand that out for you.

I don't know how much expensive these cannons are, but yeah, also, people go to town, like, buying little packets that are personalized and little cones and stuff, like, no, ditch all that, just chuck a load of confetti in

Just a handful, yeah.

it out. If you've got a coordinator, lovely, if not, you should have, but if not, get one of your bridesmaids

unavailable.

I meant my

And also,

me.

I do feel like the cannon itself, like obviously what's inside it might be biodegradable, but the cannon itself generally is probably made from cheap plastic.

she's getting all environmental.

It probably is though.

right. You're very right.

The, you know, what's going to happen with that office is going to get loved in the landfill to poison us all. No,

got 50 pairs of flip flops 50 foam

because

50

yeah,

shaped sunglasses. She ain't worrying about the cannons

well, you know, if I can stop one person from doing that, then,

Very

you know,

Cool. Well, that's us for today

yeah. Thanks for listening guys, as always.

for your messages We've been getting loads more in and we really

Yeah, it's really good.

We love it

We love it.

anything am I the arseholes we like them?

Yeah. We do. We haven't had any for ages. I think we, we need one for next week, so send them in.

Yeah, we'll put out a little call on social media as

Yeah. Call out.

Fab. Cool. Well, yeah, follow us on Instagram, TikTok. We are at Let's Get You Weared podcast. You can email us with your questions. We'll see you at my address, Hayley.

It's letsgetyouwedpodcastatgmail. com.

like, well, I can't

I think.

That's why I asked you to do it. But

It is.

yeah, get in touch and we'll

Yeah.

week.

Thanks for listening.

like, subscribe and review us as well. We need some reviews, please. you very much.

getting up there.

Yeah,

up now. So

the Apple podcast ladder,

we are,

need them reviews. Thank you very much Thanks guys

Bye.

Bye