When I tell you I need to tell you about the worst ever,
See, I see this on the show notes. Yeah. And I was like, oh my God, please tell me everything.
shall I get started and I'll tell
Let's do it. Let's do it.
Hi, I am
And I'm Haley
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Alyssa's out of 10, then it's
Yeah, yeah, of course. Totally.
Ah, what a week.
yeah, please, let's start with your week. First of all, how was your week? Secondly, what was your worst day ever?
Uh, honestly, it was, I feel like it was the day we recorded.
Oh,
I going off to have my
you had, you were go, we were both doing lots of traveling, weren't we? But you were like, I'm going here, here, here, and here. Yeah.
Right. So started, well, went to have my
Yeah, yeah.
all on time.
Beautiful.
there, went and grabbed. It was around the corner from a Morrison's. Went and got a Morrison salad bar.
Oh my God. Lover more than salad bar.
Love banging. Right. Um, and then I um, went to my first site visit 45 minutes early. Lovely jubbly. Brilliant. Done that. Left there a little bit late. 'cause took longer than I thought, but there we go. But anyway, typed it in the sat nav. Lovely. I'm due to be 25 minutes early to my next one. Great. Knew it was about, it was about a half five. So Fulton probably gonna be a little bit
Yeah.
but there we go. getting there. I'm getting there. And then. It's about 25 minutes left of my journey. Been absolutely fine. It's all green all the way. Lovely. Great. then I'm on the M three. I'm go, just got past junction three. It's all green then suddenly the traffic stops and I look at Google and I've got, I'm coming off at Junction four, bear in mind, which is like a few miles away now there's an accident. Closed the road.
Oh.
They closed the
Oh,
for an hour and a
no. No.
I had 20 minutes left, hour and a half I sat there
Oh my God.
be there. My sat, I said I was getting there at five past six due to be there at half six for a tasting in. I got there at seven 30.
no.
I know I was like so apologetic as well. 'cause I felt really bad. I was
Well, that's, that's literally like, you obviously can't do anything about that, but, but obviously you would feel bad, but
and bless 'em. They were so nice and they were more worried about me being stressed.
yeah.
I was actually right. 'cause I just thought, what
What can you do? Yeah.
And I was on the phone to my friend who's a firefighter, and uh, like, we literally stansil and then down the hard shoulder, this fire engine comes and I'm like, there's a fire engine. What does that mean? How long am I gonna be? Then a tow truck
Oh no. Tell me. I need to know. Oh my God.
goes well. Lovely, lovely. Have a great time with them. Don't end up leaving there. I mean, the tastings normally about two hours, so that beats up about half eight, but I don't leave there till they left at nine and they're on chatting to the caterers. Left there about half nine. Got a 20 minute journey to my hotel. I'm like, all right, I'll get back about 10. Have a shower or whatever. Watch a bit tally, be asleep by 11. Great.
Oh my God. Oh my God. Wait,
It's 20 minutes from the caterers to my hotel. It took me an hour and a
oh, what? Why?
at, I'd just gone 11
Oh.
because I got onto the main road to go to the hotel as per Google 20 minutes. And the road was closed when I got
No, not again.
So I was going on these diversions and honestly, Haley, I must have gone around six times and I was trying to find the green follow the green triangles. Uh, the yellow triangle, sorry, the diversion signs. was just taking me round in a circle and
Oh.
trying, I stopped. I was trying to go on ways, ways, and Google did not know that this main road
Are
closed
doing that thing where they shut it at not to do like roadworks? Oh, that's a bummer. That one.
hotel was just off the main road. It was literally a slip road off the main road. So I didn't understand how we could get there. So it got to the point where I had to ring Martin and I was like, honestly, like I, I physically don't know how to, how to get there, like you're gonna have to help
Oh
had to like
no,
me around these back roads to be
that's awful.
Honestly, it
That would stress me out actually. Big time.
stressed. I was on the verge of
Yeah. I'm not surprised.
I was so
Yeah.
already had this a two hour journey down there. I'd then had this journey that was supposed to
Oh God.
hour, and it turned into like two and a half hours. So I had just been in my car all day and I was just like, I'm tired. I
Oh
this hotel. And then I was making mistakes. Becau, you know when you're
yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're not
oh my God, I'm gonna up having
Totally. Yeah.
it was so bad.
Oh, but you got there in the end.
but I got it in the end and then I checked in and the guy was like, oh, here's a free drinks voucher for you. I was like, yeah, don't, don't think I'm gonna be using that. It's 11:00 PM But honestly, really nice
Oh, did you have something to eat? Oh, did you eat? Or,
No, I'd eaten at the
oh, okay.
but I was thinking when I got back I might get something little and whatever, like watch a bit of telly but nah, obviously not at that
No.
And then, um, and what was so annoying was, can you remember I said I booked that hotel 'cause I wanted to go
Yeah, yeah,
up in the morning, dragged myself out bed 'cause obviously I'm nacking didn't get, by the time I'd had a shower and everything, it was like half
yeah.
Actually, you know, calmed myself down
Aw.
and I got, dragged myself outta bed, went to the gym, thought I'm gonna go do the gym. Did the gym for an hour, went to go in the pool, put all my bikini on it, and everything look, went in the pool and there's like this aqua aerobics
Oh God, you,
is full. She can't even go in the pole.
oh, come on.
even booking a pole.
so annoying.
is the worst trip of my life.
Oh God.
get my
Sorry. I have to laugh 'cause
I didn't get my fricking pool.
Oh.
but really nice hotel though. I was, they do like tribute
Do they?
like, we should
I love a trivia night, you know?
You turn up and there's like an ice cream shop and like a cre like ice cream and
Oh god, that sounds like the dream.
yeah, there's like a massive bar. There's like golf, uh, spa,
Oh,
swimming, like there's
sounds amazing.
I know. It's like a
Oh, hmm. I like the sound of that.
that was me. And then thankfully managed to get to my next
Yeah.
all in one
Oh God.
then I went home. That day
Do you know what? That's actually happened to me before. So I was delivering at a wedding and it was the mor obviously, on the morning. They were staying in a hotel that's like, I don't know, five, 10 minutes away if that, um, just down the road. But they, it is on like a main road and the, and the venue was like, it's.
On a slip
Yeah, it's on a slip road.
off the
Yeah. Yeah. It's in Daven Tree. It's one that we work at quite a bit. Yeah. So you come off to the, you know, off that slip road, you go to the venue and then
mean.
Daven Tree, the mate is just a, is just a hotel chain. And that's where they were staying. So I was taking bridal stuff there and then do, I'd done their set.
road was closed. I know the exact road you're
Yeah. And that road was sharp.
yet to go the back
And anyway, diverted me and I was like, oh, okay. So I was following the diversions. I've also got like, um, freelancers following me to go,
Oh
so we are all going and I'm following these signs and I keep going and going and going. I'm thinking, I've been driving now for like 20 minutes on, like I've, I've ended up in like, I dunno where I am, but I'm far, I'm far away. Um, and I was like, no, this can't be right. Anyway, it wasn't right. I just. Followed them all.
I dunno where I'd gone, I'd gone way out the way and in the end I rang the bride and I was like, look, can, can I just give you your bridal stuff when you get to the venue because I can't get to the hotel. She was like, oh, we've had so much trouble with like people trying to get here.
her.
And I was like, do, should I?
know the roads,
Yeah.
like anyone where I was would be like, oh, you just go down there,
And that's it.
know the roads, like I know how what you're
Yeah.
would know how to get round, but it's 'cause I lived there.
Yeah, exactly. It was a nightmare. And I always leave early and leave time and I was like, I was like cutting it, like not cutting it fine, but I was like, what the hell?
to panic, don't you? But also, if Google and Waze aren't telling you and you don't
Yeah. What are you meant to do?
I always look check how long is this journey gonna take me? And I always add extra on, but like, and I always check at like six. So say I've got a be somewhere at 6:00 PM I'll check the day before at 4:00 PM
Yeah. Yeah. See how long it is. Yeah.
Google and Ways don't know that there's a road closed,
You're screwed. Yeah.
what? How can I not know? It's
Ah, it is annoying. Oh god. And it's the last thing you need. And when you're like,
I.
like wedding, a wedding is like a big deal, obviously.
yeah.
Ah,
back meetings.
yeah.
was, yeah. On a
no.
the worst.
so I always give it time, but luckily because it's like a bridal room there where you can get ready and stuff beforehand, so I was, look, I'll leave them all there for you. And she was absolutely fine about it, but um, yeah.
than that my crazy, I feel I've just recovered from
Yeah.
then, uh, but my site visits all went
Good.
good.
really good.
everything good. And also this year, this year, this year, this week, last week, yeah, within the last week we've celebrated a five years of being self-employed.
really cool.
I know. And
Well,
five
congrats. Oh my God. Yeah, of course.
I was self-employed.
So we've known each other for like
Uh,
five, four. Yeah. Nearly five years. Yeah.
Yeah.
mental. That's gone quick, isn't it?
It does seem like forever ago. Covid,
It
people are like, oh, that's,
It really does.
like never happened.
It's so weird, isn't it? But people still talk about like, it's like a moment in time. You're like pre, it's like pre covid and post covid. It is like definitely are, but I always, I always like judge things how like I'm Oh, before, you know, it was before Covid and,
Covid.
but yeah. So.
It's not 2019, it's pre
Pre Covid. Yeah. What was life like before Covid?
was it
Different times.
week been
It's been good. It's
Mother's
a second. Mother's day. Second. Yeah.
Sorry.
that's okay. That's all right. Thank you. Um, I've had a very busy week, so because it was Mother's Day, it's like one of the peak times for florist, so.
Peak. Peak Floris
Yeah, peak season, I was really busy yesterday. I did lots of deliveries.
Nice.
and I was also working in London freelancing on, uh, Friday and Saturday. Um, so that was all freelancing for Mother's Day, so it was really busy making loads of bouquets. I've now got a bad back because
I
is like my right arm's, like my ti my holding arm. So like you hold a bouquet. You put flowers in or whatever, or you hold it and you, anyway, whatever.
heavy.
and lots of stooping over, so,
messaged me saying you'd worked all day Saturday and then you got home and then you
yeah.
your own
Yeah. So I got home at, yeah,
get home and think,
gas. I'm done. So I started taking loads more orders and like obviously at the time I'm like, yes, nice.
advertising. I
Yeah, I was like, I'd got like, I'd got, not greedy, but like, I was like, yeah, I was like, go, I can do a few more. I didn't expect to get as busy. I had, I had like quite a lot of orders and so I'd come home, I think I got home on Saturday. I was home at about quarter to eight. Um, and then I went straight down to my shed and I, 'cause I've got a little bit of a setup in my shed as well. So I don't need a lot of space really.
Um. Uh, so I literally was in there for like two, three hours working and then I was up really early.
have any snacks or anything? Bit of music podcast.
got a podcast on the go.
Yeah.
ours. No,
Obviously.
to myself 'cause I'm rain.
Can you listen to yourself?
Nah,
Can you
well I can, I dunno.
listen back. Some
It's,
are really funny about
I mean, I obviously listen back every week 'cause I edit it, so,
yeah.
so yeah. Um, but no, it's, uh. I've always got a podcast on the go. I didn't have any snacks though. I did have to, I did stop for dinner, but I always find when you stop and you eat, then you like the tiredness comes. And I'd come in and I sat down and I ate and I was like, oh, I'm so tired. How am I gonna get back from this? But I did. I managed it, um,
She
and I did it and, and it was all, it was all good. So everyone had some very happy moms yesterday. Um,
everyone open the door?
um.
where they told you to piss
Yeah, no, I got a lot of, 'cause I was out quite early. I've got a lot of people in their dressing gowns, but that's, that's normal.
yeah,
Um,
good. Nice way to start
yeah, exactly. I'm a surprise, surprise.
Yeah.
It's me. Um, yeah, so that was really nice. And then I got my own little, um, presents in the afternoon, late
cute.
afternoon when I got home.
do anything for it?
No, we just, uh, we did the first time.
wanted to lay
Oh, it was like, look, I'm horizontal and I'm not moving.
Couldn't. Richard been your delivery driver
Well, to be fair, he was of Lily and I, I, I just had so much because I know
like toying it up. Now you're like, what is
Yeah.
after my child or
Yeah,
I feel like, uh, you probably got the better end of the
that's it. She's quite a handful now. Bless her. So, no, it was good. It was really good. Um, nice to be busy. And I also, um, did my, so I did my trial shift at the florist I was talking about last week in Windsor. Um, all went well. They've invited me back, so I'm gonna be working there again next week and quite a few dates in May. So yeah, I'm excited.
Busy,
been busy, busy flowering and just trying to think if there was any funny and weird customers at the place in London. 'cause that's quite a get quite a lot of weirdos in there actually, to be fair coming in. So if you,
I love that.
you do
not listening.
the flower shops, they're lovely people, but they, they get some right weirdos coming in there. Oh my gosh. Yeah.
it's quite a posh area.
Well,
Is it not? Is it? It was one of those areas where it, everybody thinks it's posh,
a little bit.
dodgy air
Yeah, little bits of it are dodgy, but it was, um, oh, you just get some weirdos that come in and they're like, I dunno. There was, it's just, I dunno to explain it, but like, you come in for a bouquet, but they're like, they take about 10 hours to decide what they want. You've got stuff ready to go, you know, like, pick one and just go.
Or you'll get someone that'll be like, oh, I want this, um, I really like this bouquet, but I would wanna change this and that and I'd like this and I'd, I want this and that. And you're like, okay. And they're really fussy anyway. You do, you just, it makes you anxious to do the bouquet and they'll love whatever you do that they just like to be fussy for the sake of it
uh, yeah, they're just being, uh, particular, not weirdos
no, that's not weird. But when I say that there was weirdos, I mean there was weirdos,
messages? Is that what you mean? Has there
uh, not that I saw, actually. I didn't see, but I've done some in my time, which would make your toes curl. But yeah.
what the ha.
But that was my week, a busy week of flowers, so I was pleased.
Talking about timings,
Yeah.
crazy day and with you trying to juggle your
Bit of everything.
times and everything, we wanted to talk a little bit today. We get a lot of questions about this and we see a lot of questions about this, but wedding day timings now we're gonna split this into part one and part two, and we're gonna talk today through a wedding day. Day time timings.
shebang.
That was a lot of days and
Daytime.
day time, time, time timings. Now what I would say is, dunno about you Haley, but with timings I for a wedding day or just generally
Yeah.
for a wedding day mainly, and I tend to work
Yeah, definitely.
So, which will probably make more sense when we go through that, but, um, today, I think, I think for the daytime you're pretty much centering it around the ceremony, aren't you?
Oh yeah, a hundred percent.
So the daytime, so although I tend to work backwards, and I'll explain that in our next For this, for the daytime that we're talking about right now, we are gonna base this around a ceremony time. So you've got a couple of different options here now. So first up, we're gonna talk about your classic timings for a British wedding with a ceremony on
Yeah.
right?
because it can be different, can't it? Because obviously if your ceremony isn't on site,
Travel
travel times, you've gotta allow for,
Yeah. So we are gonna work on, we don't like, we're not, what time did you get married?
I got married at one o'clock.
Which I was about to say, we always say we don't like one o'clock ceremony. And then I thought
I know
I'm
I literally had a little peek back at my own like order of the day, but I mean, I wanted a one o'clock wedding 'cause I wanted the rest of the, see, this is a thing that you might get question we get questioned a lot is like, what time should my ceremony be? Well,
Yeah.
I, I, so I guess it's the first, the first thing that you're gonna decide in your day, isn't it? What time will my ceremony be? And then you're gonna, like, that'll be your first decision. So. For me, I wanted one o'clock. 'cause I was thinking, oh, get the ceremony done and everything. Then you got lots of time in the evenings, like more time for like partying and like eating and all that stuff?
All the bits, the fun
Yeah,
tend to find with a one o'clock. Obviously we've discussed this before, is the whole hunger
yeah.
mean, yours is probably okay 'cause you were definitely doing
Oh yeah. Yeah.
in a terms of if you don't wanna have to provide loads of food. But the other thing I find one o'clock is you can end up with a lot of like. In between times. I think if you wanted just a constant flow,
Yeah,
you say, if you are happy to have a bit of downtime, a bit of chitchat time, I think especially if you have an extra evening guest, it can work. But if you're having the same amount of guests for the full
yeah.
I just think, yeah, two o'clock is
Bit better just pushing it back.
was gonna ask you about this, right? I've been seeing on TikTok lately, and I've seen a few wedding planners mention this now, and I've seen a few just people mention this wedding related and wedding related. What is this whole thing? And you might not know what I'm talking about either. What is this whole thing about a two o'clock tea time?
What Let's two O' cook tea time.
I don't know. I You haven't looked into it properly. I just keep seeing it and I'm like, what? I haven't actually looked, it's something about, I think it's like something about two o'clock is like the most popular time to, like, people want a cup of tea or
Oh
and there's like these
yeah.
tips where they're like, oh, make sure you got tea and coffee station
Oh no.
married
on. Come on. I'm not.
to my wedding if you need a
Yeah. If you need, if you need a new cup of tea at two o'clock, bring, bring a flask, mate. That's what I'd say. Bring a flask.
So
tea and coffee. Just 'cause you want your tea at two o'clock.
just 'cause you're too,
Tell you
guys, regardless, thet talk sense tea
tea.
the TikTok tea Talk, whatever it is, sensation at two o'clock, talk two to two o'clock. I'm telling you, two o'clock is the best time for a ceremony if it's on site.
Yeah.
The other thing obviously you've gotta think about is registrars. So I used to work in a venue where you could only do even times. The registrars only did 12, 2, 4, and I'm like 12
Ah,
too late.
yeah.
I've got a two o'clock
that makes sense. Yeah, because I do you know what, now I'm thinking about it. I don't even know. We weren't like offered, I literally picked the time and they asked me, what time was your ing? And I said, one o'clock.
that's great. Some
I'm sure.
registrars are different. Every registrar is
Yeah.
would also come into it is what time you can
Yeah.
we also in families don't use celebrant use as registrar, use celebrant, but there we go. And then you can pick your own time. But let's work around a two o'clock Being on site
Okay.
now, you gotta kind of work backwards from here, haven't
Yeah, totally.
Let's go on say in a proviso with six bridesmaids. Well, six people, four. Bridesmaids bride,
Yeah.
I think that's quite an, that's a, I would say a lot of my couples that come to me, they want six lots of hair and makeup.
Yeah. Yeah. I had, yeah, that was about the house.
He
was it.
that, weren't you? When you
Eight. Oh yeah, of course. So five Bridesmaids. Me, mum, and my nan
There you
ready.
So
I.
to put aside 45, and again, your hair and makeup artist will do all this, but roughly to work out your ceremony time. If you are the kind of person that's like, I ain't getting up at 5:00 AM you need to be thinking about
Yeah, because you will be.
yeah, 45 minutes. Per person. Per hair, per
Yeah,
Yeah. if that's six people and you've got 45 minutes for hair. 45 minutes for makeup. 'cause you do 'em separate, four and a half hours,
Yeah, that's right.
we are always saying that you've gotta be ready an hour before the ceremony. Yeah. So you put your
Yeah, You want some pictures getting ready or just making sure you're,
You don't wanna be stressing
getting, generally getting into your transport doesn't take two minutes with a big dress and stuff like, and all your bits and pieces.
you're staying on site, you've gotta see the registrar 10 minutes
Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we'd say an hour before you wanna be, you wanna be ready?
Yeah.
So four and a half hours. If you get married at two, you need to be ready by one. So four and a half hours is taking you from like 9:00 AM essentially
Yeah.
nine.
eight, nine. Yeah.
sitting there thinking, I don't wanna be ready for then yeah. Hair and makeup artists is also gonna turn up half an hour
Yeah. 'cause they've gotta set everything up. They don't just come if they've got like a full setup, haven't they?
yeah. Full on.
and hair bits.
The other option is, is you could get more hair and
I.
artists. So I have, I've, I've actually got a couple doing that this year. They're like, we don't want to, we wanna be getting ready within three hours, and
So they got a few more
like three artists or four artists,
because, and that might be something that you can discuss if you are, like, say if you've hired someone, you can be like, look, have you got, like, 'cause normally if there's quite a few, obviously they'll have an assistant, won't they? Which they just, they'll charge you for then. Probably not the rate that they're charging, but you get charged like a, an um, additional fee for like an assistant. 'cause that's what we had. 'cause there was quite a few of us.
So she had, I'm sure there was three of them, you know.
yeah.
I think there was,
No,
yeah, there was three of them. Yeah. Yeah,
So anyway, so that would kind of take you to then your two o'clock ceremony. Ceremonies are generally half an
yeah. See
it, I wouldn't, ugh,
I are, are are they
ever
half hour? Because I feel like mine was longer. Mine was civil ceremony, but it was felt longer sometimes. Well, no
They're
hour.
the shortest one I've ever done is 15
Bloody hell
only takes you 15 min 10 minutes to legally be
God. That is quick.
a short
Yeah.
had your readings and
Yeah.
they're never longer than
No.
Maybe you were just a little bit late
Maybe I was like, ah, fashionably couldn't remember. My dad's maiden. My mother's maiden name.
Yeah. Oh, that's shenanigans. See? Oh yeah. And your pre-read
Yeah.
even if you're doing celebrant, I wouldn't make it longer than half an hour any longer than that. It's
People do get bored though, don't they? I mean, I've sat in a long, like, it's obviously traditionally, if you're in a church and you have like a proper, I dunno what you'd call it now, like a religious ceremony
Yeah.
that like that drags, doesn't it? Like you're sitting there and it's
can
like hour,
Yeah.
that is you feel every minute after the
feel it
half hour.
let's stick to a half an hour. It takes you to two 30. We always say an hour and a half for drinks reception, which will take you to four o'clock. During that time you're doing your, your photos, drinks,
your, your little bits and bobs that you, you've gotta get in there, your candid photos.
You're saying hello? Yeah, you're doing your little couple shots. Do you know what? I actually always advise though. So say you then get to your four o'clock, you have to time in. And this is the biggest thing that people always forget to do. Time in time to sit down, right? So four o'clock you're going, ladies and gentlemen, please be seated. That then takes 20 minutes at least to get everybody actually
Just get everyone in there. Yeah, that's true.
they're going to the
Gotta round them up. Yeah. It's not like a five minute job, is it?
No,
Yeah.
no, no. You need to put in at least 20 minutes, and that's for like a hundred people. You've got like more than that. You need a half an hour, you know, to get everybody sat down. I actually always suggest a little top tip for you here during that timeframe from announcing everybody to sit down to physically being seated when we are then announcing in bride, bride, groom, groom, bride, and groom. Use that time for your couple
Yeah, that's true.
can then take you off.
Yep.
that 20, 30 minutes to get your photos done before you then come back and then announce you to it. 'cause otherwise, I've seen it so many times that bride and groom are standing there
Yeah. Wait, and that's a good point. 'cause I think, I think we went off, um, so we had our like confetti shot, then we went back, I think we said, said our hellos and everything and then we went off and did a photo. 'cause we'd had a camper van, so we had our photos and a glass of champagne or whatever With that, while people were all getting rounded up.
Yeah.
put on like some music and we had the string quartet and whatever in that time, canapes
in the background.
blah. We were off having a few pictures, so like,
Nice. So we got everybody sat down. Then your meal's gonna start again, this speak to your caterer about how long this is gonna be. But if we're going on a traditional free course, or even two course, you need to be working in 45 minutes per course. Right? So from when your guests are seated to that start and then starts
yeah.
so you generally say 45 minutes. You generally say about two hours through three course. 'cause with a dessert you can probably cut a little bit of time off or whatever. There's, there's time
Cia.
You want two hours for three course, or hour and a half or two.
Yeah,
and then obviously you've gotta work speeches into that. So generally, as we always advise, do 'em after the meal. So you put
yeah,
hours for your meal,
definitely.
half hour for speeches. But if you're moving that around, you need to time them in between. So if
Yeah. Gotta allow for that.
yeah.
For sure.
saying two and a half hours
And how long did we say was like, too long for a speech? Anything over three minutes?
Three to
Yeah.
max.
Yeah. Don't be like 15 minutes
No.
about rubbish.
o'clock seating people, you wanna start your starter at four 30. That takes you to six 30 for your
I, yeah.
seven for your speeches. So your speeches are finished and seven o'clock.
And that's it.
there you go. That's kind of a little rough.
Rough idea.
at seven,
Yeah.
two we're gonna go
Like your evening stuff.
yeah. Yeah. So if we are saying a standard wedding, British wedding on an onsite ceremony, that's, that's what I'd
Yeah.
offsite, you've got work in your tra your travel, like Hayley was
Yeah. So you do the same thing that you've gotta work back like we've been doing, but you need to allow for your travels, save your like.
How long is it
Yeah. And then like we've discussed here today, how you can get into trouble.
Oh,
kind of need to be allowing some time in case there is traffic, but obviously bear in mind that you can, these are questions that you can bring up with your transport company. 'cause obviously that is what they do, that's their job. Like, and if it is something that you're a little anxious about, like getting stuff like they'll, they'll, like, for example. Classic cars and um, vehicles like that, or even horse and cart.
Some people have, they're slower than your average vehicle, so you need to, yeah, you need to allow for that, but they should really bring that up with you. But if they haven't, then it's gonna be something you're gonna wanna bring up.
need to put in your time schedule because at the end of the day, if you are DIY in your
Yeah.
your own time
Yeah. That's it. Yeah.
You know? And then, but you might have a good company tell you if you're doing it wrong. But can you remember that couple I had when there was the protest in
Yeah.
called the taxi company and he was like, yeah, yeah, it's fine. I know these rose out the back of my hand. And then he never turned up. He couldn't turn, he couldn't get
Ah, so bad, isn't it?
the rose out your back of your hand,
Yeah. You're bullshit.
We had to put her in a black
Oh, bloody hell. They do know.
past and actually knew the
Yeah.
But yeah, it's, it's all about, yeah. Adding up. But this is the biggest advice I can give you for your timeline is always con, consistently add and buffer time. Look, when we sit there, 20 minutes to sit down, you're probably,
Yeah.
now, it won't take
Oh it does.
telling you now. Put that long
Yeah, for sure. You're better to have more time than not.
Yeah. And like being ready an hour before the ceremony. You need that
yeah,
you, it goes
it goes so fast. And also in that time, you're gonna be doing things like. Grabbing like a, you want a bag, maybe you wanna put a bag together. All your bits, like we've said about like an emergency kit that you might have all like extra makeup and top-up bits and water and whatever you might want putting into a bag that hour is for stuff like that,
Yeah.
going to the toilet,
Yeah.
and a dress or whatever
bridesmaids being
yet. Um.
Um, you, you also need to take into consideration, obviously, if you're having a ceremony off site, if you're going for a church, it does, it is more half an hour. So if we are now talking a classic British ceremony with a church, you're talking say most popular time for church is one o'clock because you, you get, you, you're married by two. Stretch service
Yeah.
Um, you come out, you go straight into your confetti shot. You might wanna do more few more photos, and from two 30 till three, you're then traveling. Once
Yep.
if you're getting a lot of those photos done, you could shorten your drinks reception to an hour, hour and 15, and you're then back to a similar kind of timescale as what we were talking before. Um, but yeah, always make sure you're obviously putting in that time for the church time for the travel, and time for any photos. Just getting people, once you're out the church, everyone wants to chat to you and say
Oh my gosh. Yeah.
to leave.
it's, it's also like, 'cause if I've ever done a changeover with like getting flowers from a church, then moving 'em back to the venue and you're trying to like get through and they're just chatting and chatting like, and you think, come on. Like we are like working to a time schedule then as well. So,
Do you know what my biggest advice always is for a church is get the couple out so they exit through the
yeah.
a side door. Get, take them round, get them back into like a little back room or just hide them behind the
Yeah.
Get all the guests out into a confetti line. Bring the couple back through the church. There's always a back door, a
There is, it's like a little funny little miniature door at the bag.
well, yes. Well, like where the bells
Yeah,
you know exactly what I'm
I know what you mean. I've snuck through many.
line, confetti, confetti, confetti, and then get the car, couple straight in the car at the end of the confetti line and just
Yeah.
some couples really want photos done at the church. That's the
Yeah.
you're about, and that's
And that's.
however much we are, like, guys, if you're not part of these foes, can you please make your way
No one listens. Nobody listens.
Auntie Val and I have a right
I have a right to be here. That is so true though. And it's a nightmare when you're like, like the, for us, like I suppose like me and you, you want to get back. You need to either beat them there or whatever. 'cause you've gotta get there and get everything sorted and you're trying to move stuff and Oh, it's a nightmare.
Nightmare. So buffer
Yeah.
Even for your speeches, like we just said. Then three to five minutes, even if you thinking, oh, we're doing three speeches. Well, that's only 15 minutes. No put in half
Yeah,
honestly,
over overkill it 'cause yeah,
Would rather have more time than
that's it. Exactly.
And Brenna briefly just quickly cover as well, American style Weddings and You, 'cause this might kind of help if you're doing a wedding
Yeah.
because they are later in the day. I dunno where it came
Yeah, I would like, yeah, I know, because they're, they all tend to be around like five o'clock, don't they, in America? Something like that. Yeah,
So Americans tend to get married four, five
yeah,
broad weddings tend to be that time because it's so
yeah. Makes sense.
at one two
No,
if it's in Britain like that because of our ti, like our light, the amount
yeah.
'cause it can be dark in the summer by eight o'clock, can't it? In
Yeah.
is. But June never used to be as popular
No.
day, so I'm wondering if that's why, but yeah, so they tend to get married, but it's still similar timescale four, five o'clock put in your ceremony time. What I would say with an abroad wedding is they tend to, um, extend your time. So a lot of my American couples will extend till, whereas British weddings can finish at 11, 12 o'clock. They're extended till one up until a wedding in Portugal that finished at 3:00
Yeah,
but
all moved back, isn't it?
Yeah, if you are getting, just to quickly go over it, if you get married at five till five 30, you'll then do drinks reception till 30 till about quarter. You start setting people, so you start feeding at
Yeah.
and then you do your meal through till a lot of people just do a two course and do your meal from seven till like half, eight or nine o'clock, a few speeches, and then you'd start doing your first dance cake cut at half nine, and that normally gives you about a two and a half, three hour.
And I guess with the wedding there was at that time. It makes sense, doesn't it? Surely, to everything to be in the same place. Like you would have your ceremony and you'd be on site for the whole day. It wouldn't be like going from one to the other.
No, you're staying in one location essentially. So yeah, hope that kind of
Yeah.
time-wise. Should we go on to the listeners coin Chance?
Yep. So we've got one here. So I am a November 25 bride and should be super excited for the wedding. However, I feel the opposite. I have three bridesmaids. It used to be four, but one dropped out already, and they're all very busy with their lives. No one really has time to be excited with me or help with wedding preparations, but when I say busy, I'm talking about depression, trying for a baby and a husband that had a heart attack.
I. And of course I am supporting them as much as I can, but last month I always had to go to my dress appointment on my own. Since my family lives in Munich, and I know Hannah mentioned that no one is more excited than yourself for your wedding, but I feel very alone and honestly guilty talking about my wedding in front of them as I feel it comes across as selfish and incentive. My partner has a busy job and we don't see each other a lot either.
So I wonder if I'm the only bride that experiences loneliness when it comes to wedding support, or am I the asshole for even feeling like that?
Aw.
I feel, I really feel for this
I
person. Um, I don't think, um, they're alone and feeling that way.
I honestly
And I actually feel a lot of the time if you are, I know we say like, obviously you are only you are gonna care about your wedding as much. Uh, you're gonna care the most, obviously, of
most. Yeah.
you are. No one's as excited as you. That's what we always say, but I,
people are still
but people, you still want people to sort of be there for you, and I don't think it's, obviously she's really considering. Her bridesmaids and her friends and how they're feeling, and maybe they're not actually considering her a lot because if she feels like she can't approach it, the subject, but she's obviously thinking of their feelings actually. Sometimes we don't have to make excuses for others.
Like it's okay if she feels like they're not, even though they've got their own stuff going on, it's okay if she feels like they're not being there for her. And I think actually. She might find that there, if she was to bring it up, it might be a welcome distraction for whatever's going on in their lives. Um, if they've got all of this stuff going on. If she's like, oh, you know, why don't we do this for my wedding? Like, I don't think that's selfish at all. Um, I think.
Maybe put that to one side and just be like, look, why didn't get everyone together and just have a day. Like even if you could amalgamate, everyth, not everything, but a few things into one day. So it's like, not like we need to go here, there for that appointment or whatever. And yeah. Or like have like, just like a get together with them all and be like, you know, can we, what dates work for you to do this, that, and the other? And kind of like get a few things, plans in place.
And do it in
Yeah. Um.
difficult one, isn't it? 'cause I see it from your perspective. What you're saying is, but I wonder if she, she hasn't said, but has she raised.
Yeah.
not getting a lot back. I just think, right. And it's a real difficult, and obviously you know your bridesmaid's the best, but I just think human nature is, we are all very
Yeah, yeah.
and that's not in a bad way, that's just that we've all got our own stuff going
Yep.
And I think, but I think equally, like Haley said, is that. Yes, you've got, I think you feel bad because, but don't forget you've got stuff going on as
That's it. Exactly.
happy and positive doesn't mean you haven't got stuff going on and you haven't
Yeah. Yeah.
don't think you should feel bad to ra. Like Hay said, you shouldn't feel bad to
Totally.
you, this is still stuff you've got going on just because their stuff isn't happy stuff. But like your friend who's got depression, like if I was having a really bad day and my friend. Was like wanting to talk about something happy and that they're
Yeah.
I feel like that would be,
Welcome. Distraction.
for a baby, like surely, I mean, whether that's like a negative thing, like as in like, you
Yeah.
or, or whatever. I mean, the husband, the heart attack thing, I kind of get that. Like, I feel like if my husband had a heart attack, I wouldn't be thinking
Only want anything else. You just draw.
know,
Yeah. Yeah.
sometimes we are like, I'm now I've been really busy and I'm like, I know I've been probably not great at being, you know, there for people. Like,
Yeah.
really been contacting my friends as much. I haven't really spoke to you as much. I, we haven't, like our friends just had a baby. I haven't even seen her. Like, and that's probably, she might be sitting there and going, bloody hell. Hannah's not even been to see me. But whereas I'm thinking, oh my God, I just need to get through the next three, few
Exactly. You are so busy. Everyone's got their own things going on, but it's not, yeah, you shouldn't, you don't need to take offense. 'cause they're probably not thinking that you are being annoying by me. Like, whatever about your wedding. And they're probably not even thinking about it in that way, but.
And maybe you're just staying too
Yeah, I would just be,
like,
yeah, guys, come on, let's whatever.
go and chat.
Let's do it. But it's, I, yeah,
chat and you bring it up in the group chat or
yeah.
I get you. If you feel like you are constant, if you feel like they're constantly pushing back, that is really sad and that's not. They're,
They're in the wrong. Yeah, totally.
also think, the other thing I wanted to say is I don't think that you are alone with
No.
I think that actually when planning can be quite a lonely
Totally.
think it can be stressful and emotional and everybody thinks that it should just be
Yeah. There's such a, um, the perception of wedding planning is that it is a positive, joyful experience and then you're not allowed to be stressed about it and you can't moan and whatever. But actually it is full on and a lot of it falls down not to stereotype, but it, a lot of it does fall down to you as like the bride.
it
Um. And it does. It just does. It's, I feel like, and, and, and we're just expected to just kind of get on with it,
do it.
but it, but it.
And be really
Yeah, totally. But it can, it can be very, a very stressful time, hence why we do this podcast, try and help people
So
tips and whatever, to try and lighten the load a bit and like, so people feel that they're not alone. And you know, as a community of people out there that you know are, do, do need help. And maybe it's not coming from the people you think it should be, but like we say, everyone is guilty of being selfish sometimes. And.
everybody's in. Also, it is quite like, to you, it's not far away. Right? But to everybody else, it
Yeah,
forever. I always didn't know that. And a bit like I'm saying with like my friend's baby, they're probably thinking, oh, I'll really focus on that in a couple of months. Do you know what I mean? Once I've got
yeah,
once I've dealt with this, I'll then. Think about her wedding. Do you know
yeah.
But I think you've made a really good point there as well about community. And one of the things that I wanted to say was, and I can't believe I'm recommending this, but sometimes
that was coming.
But I feel like
I.
ever go to a Facebook group, don't ever join a Facebook group to ask people advice, because you'll get far too much opinion. But think these places are really good. If you just wanted to pop a message saying. Hi, um, I'm getting married on X date of
Yeah.
you got anyone else getting married the same day? And you start to like build that kind of, you know, even if there's a few people that respond and you maybe have a chit chat with them and you, you guys got planned away, you getting married. Do you know what I mean? Because
Yeah.
people in those groups are like-minded. They're excited for their wedding and they're in the same stage as
That's it.
I think it's trying to find people, like if there's someone at work that you don't really speak to that often, but they're also planning their wedding, like spark up a conversation with them because. They're at
In the same,
stage to
that's it?
I mean? And you know, there's some amazing events out there. There's one actually coming up soon. Um, I know the planner that, um, organizes it. She's great. It's called, I think it's called WebEx
Oh yeah. Yeah.
lines. Not, not doing their advertising. For them. Just wanna help this bride. I think it's literally like next week, but they do like these live wedding fairs where you can go and watch this, almost like being at the
Yeah.
uh, you know, go along to something like that where there's like-minded
Yeah. Build your own community if you have to. It is a bit like that when you have a baby. I know it's not sad, but it is. It is very similar because you are being dropped into a situation that is totally out of your comfort zone. So like getting married, like you've not done it before. Well, some people have, but if you haven't done it before and you are new to everything, then it can feel so like out of your comfort zone and daunting.
And actually you might not have friends and family around you that are in that position in their lives,
yeah,
or you feel like you can't approach it. So. By joining these groups and stuff with an like and a bit of an, it's a bit like starting anew and you can kind of like build up a bit of a, your own crowd from that. I dunno.
Exactly. I'm also gonna put it out there. Uh, if you've got some extra budget going, I'm more than happy to offer a bridesmaid service to you, which might sound crazy, but on a serious note, it's an actual thing.
do as well.
a bridesmaid, essentially,
I love, I'd love to.
to breast dress fittings with you. They will chat to you like your bridesmaids would. So if you wanna.
Pimp or bridesmaid.
I'll cost it up for you. It won't be me 'cause I'm not very good at stuff like that. But I've also got some amazing people that in my team that would be very
That's hilarious.
Haley will
I'll do it for ya. I'll do it for free. I just liked, I just like to, uh, socialize.
no, it's, it
Uh,
I don't think you're an asshole at
no.
you are it's a really valid fear. And also I don't, I feel like don't feel bad. Like you'll getting married to your other half.
Yeah,
just because they are busy in a busy job, don't feel like this their wedding
this is what I mean. The responsibility shouldn't be falling all the way down to you.
No, go have a chat with
Yeah.
feel like my bridesmaid's been real crap. I get why they're being crap, but they're being crap. But also, again, if they're like your best mates, like I feel like I could go to my
Yeah. And be like it.
are my bride mates and be like, look, I know you've got a lot of stuff going on right now, but I really
For some support. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that either.
No, don't feel bad for say, for
For asking for support.
go to your, your mom or whoever, your bridesmaids and just yeah, have an honest
Yeah.
them and hopefully it'll make you feel a bit better.
Amazing.
sure you're listening to
Yeah.
week
for you.
for you, gal them. And if you need any advice or any opinions, you know where we
Hit us up.
hit us up. Yeah,
Cool.
I think that's us for us this week,
That's it. Well, you know where you can find us. We are on Instagram. We're on TikTok at Let's Get You Word Podcasts and you can email us your questions. Let's get you Word [email protected]. We love to hear from you.
Yeah, we'll see you next
See you next week guys. Bye.