Good morning. Well hello. Good morning for us.
It is, we're recording, maybe that should be a pre warning, haha. Literally, and it's, I
we're both still half asleep.
don't even, it's not even that early, but it's still dark.
I know.
What is that about?
you get up. It's dark when you come home from work.
Oh, I hate it.
to that.
Oh, Hayley, don't, I hate it. I
go back.
know,
weekend?
worse, because then the evenings, it's gonna be like, really dark.
Yeah,
And then, and then yes, the morning is slightly light for like, a little while and then within like a couple of weeks it's dark again. I just don't like it.
it gets dark. Like, so if I'm
Literally.
on the tools, it's only a short day.
I'd rather have a dark morning than a dark evening.
Really? I'd
I think so.
find getting up when it's dark like this so miserable.
Yeah, true. Actually, I hate both. I hate both.
actually, I hate
But I was thinking yesterday, like, I always go for like a walk after when I finish working and at the minute I'm having to make sure I leave by like half five to get in an hour before it gets dark. But I was like, Oh my god, I'm going to have to go at like four in the afternoon.
yeah,
I'm gonna have to move at lunchtime.
like
I know.
o'clock and it's dark,
Yeah,
it? Yeah.
don't remind me. I seem to forget that every year and then it hits me every year and I'm like, oh really sad about it I just hate it.
I know. winter months.
Should we get started?
Yeah, let's do it.
Hi, I'm Hannah
And I'm
and we are your wedding planning experts
Here to spill the tea on the inside of wedding planning and everything that goes with it.
expect our honest opinions the real juice and what happens on a wedding day
With a few tips thrown in between.
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and Let's get you wet! Woo! Woo! Woo hoo! How's your week been then, other than dark mornings, and also your trip to A& E?
Oh my god.
Aw, poor
no. Yeah, so this week didn't start great, I'm not gonna lie.
Lilybear! Hmm, poor
had a bit of an accident and bumped her head so
girl.
to take it to the hospital but she's absolutely fine.
These things happen though, don't they? This is what happens when they get to this age, and they start running around well, not running around, but crawling around, and
As soon as I sort of said, like a couple of friends and family, they were like, Oh, get ready. Cause this is like
Yeah!
of many, like,
Literally.
yeah, get ready for that. I was like, no, my anxiety can't take it anymore.
Yeah. Yeah.
fine. But yeah. So that wasn't great. That wasn't great. But she's fine. So
Bless her. So
Yeah. But it's been a busy week. I've been working quite a bit. So I freelanced this weekend. And we were working at Claridge's in London. So that was
nice.
was so nice. And that, you know what? I love it. It's so, I want to say it's like, is it 1930s? Like
Yeah. Kind of like 1920s. Yeah.
it's like mirrors everywhere, but just there,
The vibe is beautiful.
in
Oh, I love it.
I love it, and there's like, all these like, marble sinks. Like, just like, thick marble. And then
isn't it?
everywhere, and like, stone,
It's just classic, isn't it?
floor.
classic London,
Yes, it is. It's very like, it's very posh.
it's a beautiful, beautiful hotel and I feel like they know like truly and fully who they are, like they're never gonna be a modern hotel, they're always gonna be classic quintessential British,
I feel like that's what they're kind of selling point is
literally.
go there and like I mean So I did a bit of like what's the word? research
Reset.
Because I wanted to know how much it is not just to get married there But just in general
Yeah,
so I wonder if you can guess how much their most expensive room is for the
well like a suite.
Yeah, like their most expensive room, like the best room in the place
I reckon a standard room's probably about 800, so I reckon a suite like, I don't know, two grand?
No.
No,
expensive room
Huh.
is a hundred grand
What?
and
100
for three nights minimum.
grand?
So actually it's 300 grand.
What, is that like an apartment or something?
it's like
Like a penthouse suite.
like
You got like 50, you know, would I say?
whole hotel for
Well, yeah. Penthouse, when you say penthouse suite, I always think of on the hangover, when they have that like,
yeah.
suite that's got like 10 bedrooms, and a tire, and
Oh.
That is insane, you could literally buy a house for that.
It's ridiculous isn't it? But
That's insane.
but like, if you're, I don't know, a millionaire, that's nothing is it?
Yeah, like, who is staying in that penthouse?
millionaire to be fair for that sort
You've gotta be like, you've gotta have a, yeah, 300 grand, not even a millionaire, because a weekend for 300 grand when you've got a million in the bank's like,
it's like
it's quite a lot.
Yeah,
the hell?
mental. And
must be like, not a, that must be available quite a lot of the time.
Yeah, surely, surely.
Yeah,
too,
the occupancy rate must be low on that,
yeah.
boy.
need one every ten years and that's
I need to chat to their revenue manager, find out. Yeah, yeah, one, one book in a year and we're sorted, it's fine. Oh,
interesting and I think just so, they had about 64 guests, so it was like a kind of, it was long tables
nice.
So like, two long and style tables. Obviously clothed and everything. Silverware
yeah.
fancy.
white linen or had they gone? Oh, okay, yeah.
I think they'd hired their chairs in because I'm not sure what their chairs are like there, but I
Hmm,
those. Oh, I bet they're red. bet they're like that old,
yeah, maybe. What were those chairs like? Shibari
remember what they're called now, you know, like the
chairs?
No, the other ones, they're like
Louis Medallion?
Yes,
lovely. I was going to say Shavari at the clergy. That's not, that's, that's stupid, Hannah. No, no, no, no.
No. So, yeah, the Louis Medallion
I love the Louis Medallion chair. That is so nice.
Yeah, so it's really nice, and they
They might have them. I don't know. I've never done a wedding though. They might have
I'm not sure
the Louis Medallions.
know that they said are we've we've had to get the chairs in
Oh, okay. Fine.
what their chairs look like But I just always assume I remember when we got married it's so like lovely venue, but the chairs are red
Yeah, it is very and hotels have those, like, banqueting, restaurant y kind of chairs. That is, that is quite standard.
it's
it's
other.
Yes, it's very common that you have to hire them in because, because they have all their restaurant chairs. And then if they've got a vent chair separately, like you think storage wise. Yeah. It's a lot. Yeah.
and stuff because I was gonna say why didn't they just get white Because everyone would have won them, but then I guess they'd get filthy
Yeah. And you think you've got to move stuff around all the time from like breakfast to lunch to dinner. And it's the same with carpets, like carpets always patterned because of staining and stuff. Back in the day these like classic, you know, like classic carpets and houses were obviously used to be able to smoke inside. So they used to always have big, thick pattern carpets to avoid No, for if you had any, So, God, the smell. In case of any burn marks.
I see.
Yeah, from ash, like drop dash in like parties and stuff. Yeah, that's why they used to have pattern carpets.
like, when you used to
I know.
like, smoking or no smoking, not smoking,
so weird. I mean, I'm sure Claridges have probably either changed their carpets or had them thoroughly cleaned since those days, but, oh, nice! It was a nice wedding then.
yeah, beautiful, so they had like, whites and blues it was really nice, like, loads of bud vases, loads of candles,
Yeah.
but then they also had like, really tall, large centrepieces on top of clear,
Nice. Stunning. I want to see some pics.
I did the fireplaces.
Yeah.
helped with that. So
Nice.
big
the fireplace gal.
Fireplace, that's me, call me up, I'll get your fireplace done.
Yeah.
They
You did mine.
I did, huge arrangements on these two big fireplaces in the main I guess it's like the main saloon or whatever,
Yeah, nice.
and
Ballroom one. Yeah. Nice.
it. And then there was like another, like a, I guess where they were coming in first, they're having speeches and work on drinks. There's another smaller but still very grand
Yeah,
there.
stunning.
yeah, it was lovely. It was really good and I really enjoyed it and it was fun. And I actually quite like going into London and
Yeah, it's fun, isn't it? I'm literally there today, after this. Yeah, I'm off. Got loads of meetings today in London, so,
that's fun.
fun times. Nice. Did they have their like, the full day? Was the ceremony there?
so they actually were getting married at one of the, I want to say Marlebone Town Hall,
Okay.
don't know if it was there,
Yeah.
it was like one of the town
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So they had like a, there's their civil ceremony and everything there and they were coming back and having their like wedding breakfast and drinks and everything like
And did they have the evening reception there? Yeah,
They did. Yeah.
because some people don't at Claridge's, I think.
it was all there.
Yeah. Oh, nice. Exciting.
So how was your week? Anyway,
it was good. Yeah, it's been busy as well, because although, like, my weddings are done for the year, I've kind of, I didn't forget, but, like, I forgot how much freelancing takes out of you,
yeah
to, I'm done now, completely, with events till December, but I had to freelancing gigs, I suppose, last week. One on Thursday, one on Saturday. And both were late nights. And it's really messed me up. And I'm quite glad we're doing this this morning. Because I needed to get back into routine. Because, oh, when you're working really late, like, And then by the time you get home, get yourself sorted. I think both nights I didn't go to sleep till like 2, half 2.
it's soon it's soon like starts to weigh you
Oh, proper.
how the lack of sleep
Yeah,
big time
and I was sleeping in, like Friday, Sunday, both days because I'd gone to bed so late I was then sleeping in. Thursday I also slept in because I knew I was working till late.
Yeah,
I felt like for the last week, I've literally just been late, like sleeping late. I haven't even seen the dark morning So I'm like, what is this? Same,
I feel
I do.
if sometimes you just need
You need it. Yeah, when you work until bloody, you know,
telling you you've got a
Yeah, yeah, well I wasn't going to sleep till at half two, so you think like a normal eight hours is like half ten, not that I was sleeping until half ten, I didn't sleep until like nine, but yeah, this is why I'm shocked that at half seven in the morning it's still dark.
there's still night time out there
Yeah, what's going on?
What's happening, yeah
But that's how much has changed in a week. Like, that's insane. Like, start of last week, it
dark and the evening stuff, you start noticing
was I know.
go quick.
You do. So yeah, so yeah, two big events. One, I always do the Northamptonshire Food and Drink Awards, which I love, do that every year. Which was fun. It's always good, because you get, like, if you listen out for the winners, you're like, ooh, I'll go eat there.
Oh,
Like, the local pubs and stuff, they're like, literally, it's like, it's all different categories, but it's like, basically, anyone who needs to do, like, food in Northamptonshire is there, basically. Like, you know, all your pubs, your food establishments, your takeaway places, your restaurants, it's really good to, like, hear who the good ones are, and then I'm like,
That's, yeah,
yeah, to mine, oh, we need to go eat there, you know? Yeah, it's quite nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally. And yeah, so I did that and then Saturday was a big event. It was at a private house up near Darby and that was beautiful. Really? Really. Oh, the marquee was amazing. And the marquee guy who I work use a lot, he was doing the marquee, so it was really, really nice to see him. And he was out on site all night.
cool. That's nice.
Thankfully, I only had to work till midnight. I was like, I'm working later than midnight in Derby, so for an hour to get home. I mean, I didn't leave till half midnight, so I didn't get home till like, I think it was like quarter to two in the morning.
oh
rest of the team, the bar didn't shut till 3am.
my god.
that. I think the rest of, I spoke to one of the team yesterday who did it and they didn't get home till like, half five in the morning.
that's ridiculous.
like, that's a night shift. Like,
is a
absolutely not. Like,
would I do? is long.
know, and when I left at like half 12, 300 guests there, but I would only say there was like 150 left by the time. Yeah. Cause you think it's a long day. Like they arrived at like half five. Yeah, five, half five for it to all get going. So that's a long, long day. Long haul event, if you're there till 3 in the morning.
Jesus.
think a lot of people, so dinner, they all seated for dinner at like 7, 7. 30. They had like a welcome speech, seated for like 7. 30. And yeah, so by the time dinner was done, it was like just before 10 and the band gets going and stuff. So by midnight, Yeah, I would say if I'd enough.
like, I'm in an R. M. if we should extend our
Yeah, no.
like one, because it finishes, I think it's like, like, finishes, everyone leaves
Yeah.
oh, you can extend it for an hour and then it's like an extra 500. And I was
I think especially for weddings It's not worth it because that's a really long day.
it's so long.
going on in a wedding. But yeah, this was just yeah, they But yeah, the girls I spoke to also worked it said that yeah, but I like to it was really wrapping up but they said you had like 20 like stragglers who had carried on till the end which
play to
Exactly, but there's no point when you've got, when you've got the staff there for 300, expected 300 guests and you've got 20. I'm imagining a lot of people got like sent home and stuff, but yeah, it was a good night. Really good night and yeah, it was nice to be part of the team.
just
But yeah.
people.
Yeah, I know. It's
don't
a lot of guests.
ever. I don't think.
Yeah. Yeah. It was like a big, big family party event. So I don't, I don't know. I've seen a lot of people, but yeah, so that I did that. And then yesterday I was at a fam trip which in the wedding industry is that familiarization trips is, it was basically a wedding. Planners retreat. So they invited a load of wedding planners, a couple of photographers to come to their venue, show it off. You stay for dinner, stay overnight, which was nice. Really, really nice places.
I've never even heard of it. It's called Knowsley Hall, but it's up in like Liverpool way. I really, I mean, I'll go all over the UK, but I don't, I don't tend to get work. Up north, to be honest.
Yeah.
random location, but yeah, yeah, I'd say I, I don't, I dunno how far from the center it was, but yeah. Liverpool way it, it had an l postcode and I'd say it was probably like half hour from the center.
Oh
but yeah, so it was fi it was so long to get there though. On Monday I was, it said two hours, 15, so I left at like half 12 and. I got there at like four, three and a half hours. It took me,
Oh my
I know it was so annoying. So that was long, but yesterday getting home went too bad. It's two and a half hours, but yeah, it was really nice. Dinner was really, really lovely. Nice to, you know, have a chin wag was with a couple of planners. I know. And yeah, find out about the venue. Yeah, it's nice. I just. I'm just funny about staying in these places on my own. I always get freaked out and I can never sleep. And it was like one of these, the room was really, really nice.
Oh my God, the bathroom is like, is the size of my house. And a nice rolled up bath. Not that obviously you get time to use it. But but there's all on the walls. There's like pictures, like old pictures of like, People that are paint drawn and freaks me out a little bit. Yeah.
no. I like
So, you know, it's like, it's all right. Right. When you're with someone else, isn't it?
yeah,
on your own, I'm like, Oh yeah,
to
yeah, literally. So yeah, yeah. So it's been, yeah, I've been really, really busy to be fair. I feel like I haven't stopped. And then, yeah, like, so today I'm in London
but it's not
and it doesn't, and I've got
not.
so many like events and stuff coming up where it's like people,
innit
yeah, I was
season.
Yeah, the festive and everyone wants to do like networking events. I was invited yesterday to like, you know, it's end of season. So like caterers that you work with this year want to invite you for a nice dinner, which is lovely, but everything's always like, I'm in London that every week now for like till Christmas very much. Like it's nuts. And we're doing quite a few things as well.
Like we've got we're awake a couple of times and we've got like some things coming up, like, yeah, so yeah, that's nice. But
it's good to be busy But then
It's good to be busy, but I'm like, I
cough.
yeah,
break.
sort of, yeah. So I'm in London all day today. And then I've got Thursday, Friday, I'm just in the office. And then this weekend, not doing a lot. Seeing you Saturday, aren't we? We're doing some podcast live bits and bobs. And yeah.
some do some advertising.
Advertising!
ha.
so yeah, that's, that's my week really. Oh, I also saw, I don't know if you've seen this, I saw it in the press but you know the press, social media. Basically, this guy has written an Am I the Arsehole? on Reddit and it's just gone viral. So I thought I'll tell you about it cause you're, you loving her mother the asshole.
Basically he was in the press because he put up on Reddit to ask if he was the asshole because he kicked his mum out of his wedding because she turned up with his ex girlfriend. So apparently this mum was like, you know, the woman that you're with, whoever you're marrying is just a distraction. Like your ex is a person you should be with. That like, she's the one. So she turned up with her.
No. At the wedding?
Yeah. So obviously he went over and was like, I'm not happy. Like you both need to leave, like not just her leaving. Like you both need to leave. So he, they then like enjoyed the rest of their day. Went off on honeymoon, left their phones at home, thinking that they were just going to get like so many messages about it that they just thought, whatever.
Yeah.
when they got back, they did have loads of messages, but it was. All their family saying like, you're so out of order for kicking your mom out. So, yeah. So he's turned to Reddit to be like, am I the asshole for kicking my mom out? And like Reddit's basically said, yeah, no, you're not, which I agree.
okay? Are
I know
okay? Thinking
I'd be raging. If I was the bride, I'd be, I'd, if, if my groom hadn't kicked her out, I would be like, I'm, you might as well get this annulled the next day if you're not going to stick up for me. Although I suppose
Well,
kind of see it from. One side where it's like, should he have just, but I mean, we don't know the whole story. Maybe he did say, can the ex leave? Cause I think what quite a lot of family was saying is you should have just kicked the ex out, but maybe he, maybe he did say that. Maybe he did say, oh, you need to leave. And then the mom said no. And then
yeah,
so they kicked them both out.
do we? But it's
No.
but if your mum's gonna be that disrespectful to your marriage,
Well, that's my thought. She can leave too.
to
Yeah. How bad is that?
awful.
This has gone viral.
Oh
It's probably in America. I'm not gonna lie.
I'm
Sorry, American listeners.
Sorry, sorry, but
We do actually have quite a few American listeners now, so I apologize, but I'm not gonna lie. These kind of things normally happen in America. I'm gonna have to check that out now. I know.
I'm shocked by that because I can't believe that their family would honestly turn around and think they are the arseholes For kicking them
Yeah, that's even worse. Imagine you're getting back.
They needed to go.
Yeah, literally, like, I, I think that they were expecting, they're not taking their phones on honeymoon because they're expecting so many messages being like,
Being like,
oh my god,
And
I'm,
actually like,
yeah. But actually they were like, yeah,
God, what is wrong with the
So yeah, so I thought that was quite interesting, but how funny is that?
it sounds, sounds fake. I mean, I can't believe this sort of stuff's happening. Some, some
know
are so wild. It's like,
Yeah
me like,
And sometimes you do think is it but the but I actually I then went on to read it And he had actually written it. Why would you bother unless it was
exactly. Exactly.
Nice, so speaking of stress,
Oh. Know it well.
weddings, stress, stress we wanted to have a chat about stress on the morning of the wedding, how to avoid it, what you can do. I think this is like, it's not, I always find in the wedding industry, right? We talk a lot about like what actually happens.
On the day, you know, tips leading up to the day, but we don't actually talk about like pre ceremony, like night before morning off, like, you know, we speak to the week leading up to the wedding, but that actual morning, I always say used to be like one of my slogans is like your wedding day starts the second you wake up. It's not the minute you get married. So that whole morning, if you have a shit experience,
yeah,
that's going to put you in a crappy place.
Yeah.
stead. Is that the word? Like, you know,
like the rest of the day is kind of gonna be
yeah, you don't want to go in feeling stressed and then feeling like exhausted before you've even like
you
kicked off the wedding breakfast. Yeah. You know? So I always think this is a real like key one to, to go in. How was the morning of your wedding?
it was alright to be fair. Yeah,
Yeah, you weren't too bad.
chilled out
Yeah,
we had like a couple of rooms so because I had quite a few bridesmaids
yeah,
And we just kept like both the doors open and we were just like
in and out.
in and out, but it was really, it was really laid back.
that's nice.
some music on and like we all went down and just got breakfast here and
Yeah.
all having our hair and makeup done at different times. It started quite early, but, yeah, it was really, it was really relaxed. And I don't, I don't remember being like stressed or rushing around that very last bit where you're just getting everything together to get out
Yeah, you were stressed then. Ha ha ha, that's what I say.
Yeah, because it was kind of like we were running a little bit late because basically everyone had like really elaborate hairdos and mine was just curled so I
Yeah,
was ready and everyone else I was like go go
I do think yeah, I think first up what you've said is completely what I always advise is, is really think about who you've got. I see it so often. You probably do when you drop the bouquets off. It's that stress. I could not cope with that being in one hotel room with loads of people, everybody's stuff. And I knew. I did not want that to happen.
So I hired, and I know obviously a lot of people have like lodges and stuff, but I do tend to find, so I had like almost like an Airbnb style place and I do tend to find people in Airbnbs as less stressy or like houses. So we'd had how I like this lodge and it had like a big. kitchen, diner, lounge area. And then everybody had their own, there was like four bedrooms. So my bridesmaids help with sharing bedrooms. And then I have my own bedroom.
So first off, I would say, make sure you've got your own bedroom and keep it closed off. Cause the other thing I was conscious of was that we were staying there. The night of the wedding. Did you stay in yours the night of the wedding?
we did. Yeah.
you're thinking. Oh my god There's like mess everywhere and we've got to come back to this That was like what I was really conscious of and then what I said So I said we're not going in that room and then we all got ready in like So the hair and makeup set up in like the kitchen y diner y area And then so if people wanted to chill when they weren't Having the hair and makeup done, there was like the loungy bit, but it was all in the same area.
But equally, I was like, get, keep all your dresses and your jewelry and stuff in your rooms. Because I was like, I can't, oh my god, it literally makes me feel ill. Yeah. Yes. Sweat and old croissants. Where they've had breakfast,
and it smells of hairspray and it's just like, Oh, cross off.
like little simple things like they get breakfast. Yeah. No one's cleared it up. Like call concierge and clear it up.
I put the bokehs?
Yeah. Where am I putting them? Yeah, yeah,
reception and stuff for your hotel You can get them on the way out yeah, like obviously if you're coming back like we were coming back to our room So similar sort of thing it was we kind of luckily the hotel room We had it was very big and it had like a mezzanine
yeah. Yeah, didn't
was up top
it?
So
Yes
on and stuff up there in private and the bathroom was up
Yeah,
and then like Downstairs I had
like a loungy area, didn't you?
but everyone got ready and there was another room that had the same thing so they had, like, my bridesmaids mainly got ready and like, some of them had their hair in there and we did like, makeup in the other
Yeah,
kind of,
so it's split.
split out but everyone was quite tidy which was
Because that's the other thing, isn't it? When your hair and makeup is like together, I feel like it's too much So I would say yeah, if you've got like Got to go with hotel, either do like what Hayley did and get like, but, but also, and I get it like weddings are expensive. So you're probably going online and get in your cheapest room, but just don't because it's,
yeah. It just adds to the stress doesn't
it really does. It's not worth it. Pay a bit extra and get a bigger room
Yeah, definitely.
I would advise is speak to the hotel. Cause I guarantee they've probably got some sort of meeting room that they hire out.
The You could all just, so you've got your own bedrooms and then, so you have your dress and your jewelry and stuff in your perfume upstairs to get changed, but use that meeting room for your hair and makeup and people just go down on their time slot, have, you know, make sure you've got maybe a sheet up on the door or something with times they've got to be down there or make sure they know in your WhatsApp group, like what time their hair and makeup is.
And they just go down to that conference room. Cause the other big thing that I see is when. They don't all stay together. So you've
That's
all your bridesmaids arriving.
times.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's good. It just get everyone together stay together in the same place the night before
Yeah. Because I've always, all I see that happens is the brides hired or books is classic double bedroom, and then they have six bridesmaids arrive from their houses into this double bedroom with all their stuff and their shoes and their extra makeup, even though they're having their makeup done and it's just chaos.
that's what I found stressful was getting all their stuff back. So, like, all my cousins came.
Yeah.
so they obviously stayed the night before with me, but they had all of their stuff.
Yeah.
aunt and uncle were coming to the wedding, so my aunt, on the way to the wedding, had to stop and pick up their things. But I Or the way I am, I just can't relinquish control. I'm really bad. Like,
Yeah.
Oh, I had to like even organize that. Like I was like making sure they held their bits together. So like,
Yeah.
like the conversation with your bride or party
Yeah.
like, look, things you can do, like, well, you know how everyone's like, Oh, can I help? Let me know if I can do anything. Things you can do to help is make sure your stuff is organized on
Yeah.
and make sure it's out of my way
Hundred percent.
and be on time for your, you know, Like time slot with
Yeah.
because actually that's if you're not that's a big
It just messes it up, the time schedule.
like that. You
Yeah.
you know, just
And don't dilly dally, I see it so often when it's like, the bride's ready, and then the bride's mate's like, Oh, I haven't put my lipstick in my bag, oh I need to go to the I had one once, where there was one downstairs toilet in this hou in the it was a private it was their own house, and they were all like, queuing up with six of them all suddenly wanting to go to the toilet. And I'm like, what are you doing? Then one bridesmaid's in there pissing around with like a bra straps or something.
She was using the mirror. And I'm like, guys, come on. Like we need to leave.
Yeah,
definitely,
annoying.
separate. You need separate spaces and you need your own space that you can go. Like I knew that my bedroom, nobody was in there. So I went into my bedroom. If I wanted to just, I don't know, do whatever I was doing. I'm shaving my legs last minute. I didn't, I didn't do that. But I do see that quite often.
I Bath
Yeah, there you go. Lovely. And I'd also say like, try and get as much done. Again, give this task to your bridesmaids because you're going to be in like a bit of a mind fog. You're going to be like, yeah, there's going to be a lot of motions going on. Get them to make sure it's their job to steam your dress, but do it the night before. Don't do it. Don't leave it on the morning. So many people, I've got hours tomorrow. It goes so quick. Do it the night before.
it goes so fast also with the steaming of the The steam can make your hair frizzy
Oh yeah. There you go. And do it the night before.
for frizzy hair like I
Yeah.
coming around
No,
in the
that steamer away. The other thing I did, what I will always now think, like, say, is I actually speak to your photographer when they get there, or show them, like, take a photo of the space in the morning or night before and send it to them. Because I was so determined to keep my bedroom closed off. You put all our flowers in there, didn't you, and stuff. And I, so what I did, I didn't think we were using that space. So I like had my dress hung up, we'd steamed it.
And then I had on like the chest of drawers, all my stuff laid out. So
yeah,
knew that I'd be in this mind fog space. So I had like my jewelry laid out in the order that I'd put it on my perfect, because I knew I would forget something. I had like my pants there, like I knew that they, my shoes. Yeah. Like my flat shoes to take with me, like my handbag, like everything I had. Right. And then.
The photographer then decided to use that space, didn't say any, like, obviously just like cracked on on her own as you do but just put all my stuff in a drawer and I come in and was like, and then I was stressing because I couldn't find my pants again, like, I did a whole episode on my own on the podcast where I talked about losing my pants but anyway, them frickin pants. But no, like, fair play to her, she was just trying to get the space ready quickly.
In time, because she was at all the best lights in there. So actually I should have set all my stuff out in the, on the dining table or something. But I didn't, I just didn't even think to ask her that. You don't know until you experience it yourself, do you?
But so yeah, but, but that is a key tip I would give it is lay all your stuff out to make sure, because the amount of times I say to brides, right, if you've got all your jewelry on, if you've got everything and then they think and they're like, Oh no! Oh, I haven't got my watch on. Or you know, and then they're like, oh, can you just run into this room and it's on this gesture? And you walk in and it's like a bomb has hit it and you're like, Jesus, where is this watch?
Like, you know, you need it in a on one table,
see it.
clear of all other crap. Yeah. And then yeah, you'll just feel a bit organized, more organized. I think if you can keep your bedroom that you know, you're then sex. I knew we stayed in there that night and I knew it was nice and tidy,
exactly.
so yeah.
nice and and clean and you can see everything You know where it actually is
Yeah, exactly.
stuff like I remember actually to be fair I tried to put I asked one of my bridesmaids to put like a bag together for me so that I could like Have like my spare lipstick and like
Yeah,
top up bits and stuff like that But they didn't know where anything was when they were doing it So I was trying to like get ready in my last minute Bits and pieces, and they're like asking me where's this, where's that,
yeah
like, that
Whereas you should they should have done that the night before you're a little top up bag or something Yeah, or also you always got a bridesmaid that's ready by like 9 a. m Then they got like three hours like get them to then sort that out
that's true.
So yeah,
falls
other thing we didn't have was we had to just put like the telly on with the radio because there wasn't even though I'd pay like this ridiculous money for this massive lodge, there was no speaker system in there. And I really wish I'd took my speaker because we wanted to play our own music, but you couldn't because you couldn't stream it to the TV.
So, I normally always take a Bluetooth speaker wherever
Yeah, yeah,
so yeah,
I didn't. Oh,
the news on first. We had to get up really early. Someone put
yeah, we didn't.
like We were like It was so chill and I was just like Sorry.
Why?
the news on?
This is depressing.
wedding morning people.
We we, we had a lovely morning. So we didn't have to have, my hair and makeup didn't arrive till nine. Cause we, my ceremony was at three. And we all got up about half seven, eight. We was chilling, having a little cup of tea and that. It was lovely. Yeah.
Yeah. I actually it was quite nice the night before. So my, so I stayed there with all my bridesmaids and then also my brother and his girlfriend stayed there. My nan and granddad, my mom and
Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah.
And we had like a, we had a really nice meal all together like the night before.
Yeah. Yeah. Aw, cute!
actually, like, I went and had a hot chocolate in my mum and dad's room with them just on my own before I
In the morning. Aw, in the night before. That's cute.
really nice, just the three of us, like, I was
Did you find, because you had everybody, like, staying there, that they all wanted to see you in the morning, though?
guess so, not really.
Not really. Yeah, mine wasn't too bad.
because it was all so spread out with, there was so many of us, so like, even like my mum and my nan were having hair and makeup done,
Yeah, fine.
10 of us that
Yeah.
like, there was lots of time for me to kind of like, because I was last. So I, I
You like to sit
had breakfast with
don't you?
mom and dad and like one of my bridesmaids, my cousins, it was quite nice actually, it was kind of spread out.
Yeah. Nice.
yeah, I just sort of saw them as and when, because we were all together, so people were popping in and out, but no one was kind of like, didn't feel like I was sort of being pulled to and
Yeah,
know
nice. Yeah, I just kind of stayed in my lodge, but there was a few people standing there popping and say hello and whatever, but yeah, it wasn't too bad. Yeah.
I enjoyed it to be
Yeah,
really
I loved the morning. It was great. Nice and chilled.
used to think about the morning of the
Yeah.
how fun you're getting ready getting Putting
love it.
getting the
The new, getting the new sign. Oh dear.
Yeah
Should we go to listeners questions and messages?
Yes. So, oh, we've got so we had a message from Laura. So Laura got in touch with us a little while back to say that she was getting a photo album.
Yes.
let us know that she's got her photo album. She got it from photo books. And she said it's amazing, it's really lovely. It cost her around 100 a book, and it's the only website, apart from Milk Books, which is around three times the price that you could get 200 pages. So I know that obviously we were discussing, because you were saying you
Yes.
good quality
Yeah.
to have out, so like people, you know, put it on the coffee table
Yeah.
So she got in touch to say, like, she'd listen to the episode, and, you
Yeah.
what she'd done. so they also did one album of the photographer's photos, then they did another album of all the photos that friends sent us and included our welcome drinks from the night before and from our mini moon. That's really nice.
I really liked that idea. I thought it was really, she sent us a video and a picture as well of the album and it does look really nice. But that is a really good price, 100 per book.
That is
That's so cheap, because the ones I was looking at, I mean I still haven't done mine, I'm not gonna lie.
But I'm two years down the road and I haven't done one,
Yeah,
feel bad.
it's on my list. I might even, I might even, I started one, but they were like 300 quid each. But then when Laura said, and obviously we had Elopement and Wedding Dad, I actually really liked the idea, which she said as well, about doing friends photos and honeymoon and stuff as well. So that would be, that'd be like a thousand pounds on three books.
Yeah.
Laura messaged and said that she was getting hers and she'd let me know how it was, I kind of hung off a bit. So now she said this, I'm going to go look at that. Yeah. Yeah.
getting one sorted and doing it as like a Christmas present for
Yeah, nice.
merry, well not for, be like, merry Christmas, I've
Yeah. For us both.
For us both, mainly.
I like that idea.
that's, that, but I think that's really good, that the
Yeah.
and I
I know, right?
that idea of doing a separate album where she's got like, photos from
Yeah, that's nice, isn't it?
cool,
Yeah. Yeah. So I yeah, I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have a look at that. Also, she's made a very valid point there about pages because a lot of websites I was looking at would do max 70 pages.
Yeah, it's not
pages, that's really good. I know, and I spoke to this company and I was like, well, can you not do more pages? They were like, oh no, it's not a good experience for the person's looking at it. And I thought, well, it's going to be me that's looking at it. I want to see all my pictures. Yeah!
Don't tell me how to
Oh dear, how funny.
yeah, no, that's
Yes, thanks for that message.
that's perfect. Ha, ha,
a long one here. So settle in. Hi girls! I love, I love this though. Love this. We, we love an Am I the R song.
yeah.
Hi girls, love the pod, got an Am I the Arsehole for you, which links to your episode back in March. Getting married in April next year, me and my husband to be have agreed on having a child free wedding. Woo! Nothing against kids, of course, but we don't have any ourselves and it doesn't really make sense to have lots of kids there. Yep, we get that. Yep. Our guests have been mostly great about it. Even family members aren't bringing little ones so they can enjoy the day.
However, one of the groomsman's girlfriends is having their first baby next year. Her due date is two and a half weeks before the wedding. We thought she would say she can't come because she'll be giving birth so close, but she's asked if she can bring their newborn. We explained that, as we've said, no kids, babies, to family and friends, we have to be fair and stick to the same rule for everyone.
We understand she can't leave the baby that young, but the last thing we want is a screaming baby during our vows. She's now said she can't come, which we totally understand, but she's been sulking ever since and has stopped talking to us. Ah, we're the arseholes. Thank you. Big fan of the show. Firstly, we love that you're a big fan of the show,
Yeah,
but this was
a
anonymous, by the way, which completely gets it. And we're always happy to have anonymous, by the way, like, send them in, we're, we will not
it,
read out who you are. Because we get, we get these situations are really, really tough.
Yeah, totally. I mean, these are the sort of things that would like, they actually do cause stress, like genuine anxiety
yes.
like,
sleepless nights, and,
also when someone stops talking to you
Yeah,
life difficult over a decision you've made for your own wedding that you're paying for your day,
yeah.
it's actually, they're the arsehole because they're very
Well, I was literally then about to say I absolutely you are not enough not in the slightest this person is The only thing I can think I mean, I've never I don't have kids but you might be able to help with this is maybe it's a bit of like hormones a little bit like a Feeling a bit. What's the word? Like, you know, like fear of missing out like FOMO like, oh my other half's gonna be there And I'm not
The thing is, right when you are having a baby, are really like, I think you get like this protectiveness and then you feel like you've got, they're gonna be, obviously, they're like the center of your world,
yeah.
like at the moment thinking, well, I can't, I won't be able to go anywhere. I can't do anything. I'm never gonna leave them.
Yeah.
you've had your baby and they scream all night, and then you are offered a night out and someone's
No, but the baby's gonna be two and a half weeks. She ain't going
I just think, yeah, I, I was it that young?
Yeah, the baby's due two and a half weeks before the wedding.
Oh,
So she ain't gonna be changing her mind. Also, she can't now.
But, but also she doesn't, the baby being that young, don't know how your birth's gonna
That's the thing.
don't know. I just feel like, it's like my, um, husband's stepsister she was due like, I think she was due like a week before,
Yeah,
something, or really close, so they just said we couldn't, they couldn't make
well that yeah, that's and that's what she said And I and I completely agree with the person that wrote this in is that I would think well She'll just say I'm not, oh it's alright. I won't come, my husband can come because I think she said
because it's a groomsman's girlfriend,
yeah, I think one of the groomsman's girlfriend. Yeah. So the groomsman needs to go. If he doesn't go, they're even bigger ass. She stops him going. That's really out of order, but she's just a girlfriend. Just stay at home. I would be like, if it was Martin's friends and I was having a baby that close, I'd be like, you go have a great time. I'm not even going to commit to this because there's like, I just can't see it happen.
Regardless, you know, even whether you have the baby early, like I, I don't, I'm just going to say no. And if anything changes,
yeah.
I'll let you know. But, you know, like one of my friends she was due about six weeks before the wedding and she was going to have to miss my hen do. She was due like the weekend of my hen do. But, or maybe like two weeks before that. Yeah, because she was like six weeks before the wedding. But she ended up having the baby like two months out. He was born like a month after Lily.
Yeah.
Yeah, so she came to the hen do for a night and she was fine at the wedding because the baby was then like. I don't know, four months old or something, three months old, but, but originally he was going to be really, really small. So you don't know what's going to happen, but
don't. It's really unpredictable with pregnancies and births and
it is
like if you're that close you should just say no I'm not coming but I don't know why you'd also potentially want to take a baby
what I, a hundred percent what I was then going to say.
she probably thinks that it would be like this really wholesome thing where the baby comes and the baby's really cute and whatever. But actually no, it's a stressful situation. A baby that young, they want feeding constant. They're so young,
Yeah,
only feeding constantly
and if you're like breastfeeding or something,
and breastfeed it. I just feel like
everyone's gonna be pissed having this. It's gonna be loud. Like that's not an environment.
She
No.
well, I need to go. My husband's, my boyfriend's a groomsman like baby's got to come and then she's probably putting her foot down and being like quite like don't know what the word is. She's just being a little bit
Hormonal.
about it. Yeah, and hormonal and like when she's had the baby and stuff and she looks back She'll probably be like, oh actually I was a bit of an arsehole
is. I think she's been such an arsehole.
about anything else other than her and a baby at the moment because
Yeah.
when you're
I just think, my opinion is, you can't worry about it. You are not an arsehole. Do not, under any circumstances, let that baby say yes. Because you, it's so easy, and we had this situation to get, like, so many of our friends And we're having babies just before our wedding and I think it's so easy to go, okay, but exactly like you've said there is how we felt, right?
We, in that, if, if you say yes to one, you've got to say yes to all the little shits and then they're all going to be running around the little toddlers screaming and
Yeah.
So we actually had a family member who had a baby literally a couple of weeks before. The, the wedding and I thought the same, she wouldn't come and I kept saying, she's no way she's going to come and she was like, no, I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. And then on the day of the wedding, she'd sorted a sitter. The baby wasn't very well.
Oh
completely oblivious to all this, but they'd asked if the baby could come. Obviously, Martin said no, because That which said no kids,
Yeah.
but I was like, if he would have said yes, and I got to the top of that aisle and heard about it, I'm exactly like what this woman said here. I, I, I mean, she said that. You know, I don't want a baby screwing during our vows and I feel exactly the same. If I'd have got to that top of the aisle and there was a baby there crying, I wouldn't have walked down the aisle. And I, I, I kid you not, I would not.
I would have said to my bridesmaids, somebody needs to go in there and tell I don't think it would
the baby out.
Literally! Because, because that's not what we wanted and, and
but that's the thing. And also it's awkward, isn't it? If they've
it is awkward.
let your girlfriend's
Exactly.
anything, you'd have
Exactly.
babies.
Because
we, we
my point of view is, if someone had turned up that day with the baby, all our other friends who've got small children and have had to make the effort to get sitters and stuff,
they?
they're all going to be put out. Yeah, they're going to be like, well, why is that kid there? And I've had to just bloody pay for a sitter. So don't do it.
No,
It'll,
And that's it.
it'll pay you off and then it'll end up crying during the ceremony or something and then
so actually we had an interesting situation at our wedding because we had no We had no kids. So we didn't we didn't want kids at our wedding.
yeah,
but we said that my My sister in law could bring my nephew, he was only five months old. But that was like, but we were happy to have him there because she's like close family. Like, he's
yeah, she's a nephew, isn't it? Yeah, yeah,
there actually, but so, but that, but that was up to us. And if we wanted to make that
that's up to you.
It's my, it's my wedding. I
Literally.
know,
Yeah, I think if you, yeah, like I had.
ass, you
didn't have any kids at our wedding, but I had, I don't really class my nieces as kids, they're 11 and 13, so they're not really kids, but I suppose technically they are, but obviously they're my niece, I'm not going to not have them there, and also, when,
it.
I think kids like 3, 4 years old, when they're running around, like, pretending they're superheroes, with their dresses over their head, which
yeah
or babies that cried during the ceremony and I see it all the time and I'm with you. I'm with you to the person that wrote this in. I think it's your day. You paid a lot of money for it. These people, and also like if the baby's two weeks old, all everyone's going to care about is that bloody baby. They're going to be all be handing it around like, Oh, the baby is newly born. Oh, how are you feeling? Yes. That is such a good point.
like when they're that Newborn you don't really want to be taking them to that. You could just say that
That is such a valid
about you,
Imagine, imagine.
It's true
think,
do like, spread, like, it's not great when they're that
no, and they're that small,
that, you know.
you don't know what's going to happen. I think you've got to stick to your guns, get over the fact that she's ignoring you. She's going to think next year when you're getting married, she's going to sit there and think, thank God I didn't go to that wedding because I feel like shit because I've just pushed a baby out.
going to a
No.
two and a half weeks. I mean, she does fair play, I mean,
Even if it's
Yeah,
four weeks, that's still little, like, I can't imagine you would have wanted to come out when Lily was four weeks old. Ha! Good God!
a, I look like a
Oh my god.
like. Jesus, a swamp monster.
Honestly, I'll just let her get over it. The only thing I'm worried about is if she's gonna like, if she starts like, telling the groomsman he can't come. I think, again, you're just gonna have to accept. I think you just gotta, hopefully that doesn't, that situation doesn't happen. Maybe I'm just bringing more anxiety into this. She's not gonna be thinking, oh no.
Oh no. But no,
does happen, let him get on with it. Do not let anything they say or do sway you into letting that baby come to your wedding.
yeah.
your guns, you're doing the right thing. You are not an arsehole. You're doing the right thing for them as well as for you. Not even just for, like Hayley's explained, she's a mother. She's saying it's the right thing for that baby.
the right thing for that baby and that mum is not to be going out of two and a half weeks to a wedding and
Yeah.
themselves out about it. And now I think when is Jeff definitely, she'll be thinking everything's a lot worse because she'll be very hormonal
Yeah, I think she is.
I don't want to sound like condescending, but
No, we're not, we're not doing that. I mean, she's completely in the wrong. We shouldn't, we're not, we're not defending her. I'm not defending her.
Don't have the baby there. Don't do it.
Oh dear. I think she's probably thinking ahead, isn't she? Like, Oh, I'm going to have a small baby and then my husband's going to be out getting pissed. That's what she's thinking.
Yeah,
that, that's probably why she's ignoring it. She's more annoyed with, with her other half although she can't be. She's, she's already forward thinking like, oh, he's gonna be out in his nice suit, he's gonna be putting pictures on Instagram, getting pissed, and I'm gonna be looking like shit with a baby
oh
And on that note,
those were the days
those were not the days for me. You know, you're doing the right thing, stick by your guns girl. If you are a girl, you might be a man. Anyway, that's us for today guys.
for listening. As always, you can get in touch with us on Instagram and TikTok. It's at Let's Get You Ed podcast. And please email us in your questions and messages.
Yeah.
from
We do. Woohoo!
at gmail. com. And also don't forget that you can come and see us at the live podcast on the 6th of November
buddy.
The link is in the show description. So please
book.
Speak to you next week.
guys!
Bye.