hey.
another week on the podcast.
And I feel like it's an, I feel like we're always doing the British thing of talking about the weather, but we have to mention the weather.
our UK and US and worldwide listeners, so they know what the weather's like here.
Well, we couldn't believe it. I didn't know the snow was coming. We literally woke up this morning, Martin opened the blinds and went, Oh, it snowed.
It
I'm in bed. I'm thinking, what? Jump up, look. And I'm like, Oh my God, it's actually snowed.
I've been telling people all of last week that there was snow. Snow coming on Tuesday,
Right?
kept saying it wasn't coming like yes It's just saying like rain today, and it literally didn't start snowing until about I think it's probably about six o'clock this morning
Oh, did it not? Wow. Well,
and then all of a sudden it just was white
I'm sure, maybe it started earlier where I am, because we, we woke up at like, 7 and it was like, thick.
that's when I got up and it was, then it was,
Yeah.
and it
Jeez, oh god, that was quick
But it took us all by surprise, didn't
did. Yeah. So that's the fun news from England.
Anyone getting married today? I'm sure it's been a
Oh yeah,
UK.
I know. But how bizarre, it's gonna be like 2, 3, 4 degrees over the next couple of days, then on Saturday it's gonna be 14 degrees.
weird.
the hell. Yeah. Yeah.
Can't, you just can't predict it these
You can't.
never right either, I don't
No, it's not, because when I was, it was physically snowing outside and it said it was raining on the weather app, so I was like, it's not raining, it's snowing.
definitely
Big difference.
Yeah, hello? Oh. Let's do it. And I'm Hayley,
are your wedding planning experts.
here to spill the tea on the inside of wedding planning and everything that goes with
Expect our honest opinions, the real juice on what happens on a wedding day,
with a few tips thrown in between.
also just a chat between friends.
And of course, make sure you hit that subscribe button
And let's get you wed! Woo!
Woohoo!
Exciting!
So before we get started with a little bit of a public service announcement here regarding our live podcast. So as we said last time, it's we had a few technical difficulties.
We did.
we have decided to to reschedule the date. So it's now going to be on the 29th of January.
Yeah.
so still at the same venue as at Kelmarsh Hall, so that's
Yeah.
But you can book tickets using the link which we put into the show description every week, so just head on over and you can book your tickets. And anyone that did have tickets for the 6th of November, they'll be obviously moved to the 29th of
Exciting. I'm glad you remember that date because I, when you said it, I was like, is it the 29th? It's the,
the 26th, so I was
so yeah.
on her birthday,
No,
could be
it's the when, last Wednesday of the month.
Yeah.
Very excited. Yeah! Exactly.
excited. Little post Christmas treat.
Buy someone, or if you're listening and you know someone that's engaged, buy them a ticket for a present for Christmas.
Yeah.
an activity gift, don't you? Like something you can do with people.
me too.
feel like it's so much nicer.
could even, you know, if you, if you message and ask us nicely, we could do a little cameo for
Wicked. Let's get you wed! I forgot about that website.
Oh my God, yeah.
Oh dear. How's your week been anyway?
My week's been good. It's been busy. So I'm like well and truly getting prepared now for Christmas
Yeah. Yeah,
workshops got all my stock keeps arriving today It was a bit delayed because of the weather obviously they've struggled on the roads because they're not been very good. But of that fun but yeah that and also I've been been out to see a few people about weddings for next year. So
you have, haven't you? Been a busy bee.
busy. So it feels like it's back to kind of normal little bit now. I mean in terms of how
Your workload. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Which is nice actually
Yeah.
it's full on sometimes i'm not gonna lie, but
Yeah, I bet. Yeah, Christmas is coming around quick.
It
It really is. Like, and I keep thinking, like, I've got quite a few weddings, June's my busiest time next year. Like, it's so busy in June. And I'm like, I've been a bit like, Oh yeah, still like eight months or whatever. But actually, It's only like a month.
It's literally the month today until I'll finish for Christmas pretty much I'll do a little bit but it's my birthday on the 22nd So that weekend's kind of out and then yeah So I won't do much after the 19th And then or 20th or whatever it is the friday is and then we'll literally be in january And it'll be six months till all their weddings.
Mental
I always think like the sixth month mark. It's like, yeah
the countdown is on.
Yeah Literally, it's a lot
the old tax returns due in January,
Oh, I don't mind mate
Yeah. Well, do you know what? I normally do mine early, but this year I haven't because of everything that I've just been busy. I normally get it done, but bit of a boring thing there. If you're self employed, you'll feel our
Bad times.
self assessment.
actually quite like getting it done because I'm a I'm one of those, I was about to say losers, but I'm not. I'm very proficient, if that's the right word. Because I put 20 percent aside of everything that I earn. So actually, that sat there. But you don't actually pay 20 percent of everything you earn because you obviously have the first 12, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. So, I like getting it done because then I know how much I've got left over. Which normally, to be fair,
spend?
normally goes in the pension pot, which is a bit boring. But, sometimes I have a little bit more than I thought, and then I do treat my fine self, so.
Good for you. How's your week been? I know you went to see Harry Potter
It did! Oh, it was so good. Oh my god, like,
Was it?
I kept saying to Martin, I just don't want this day to end. It was so nice. Honestly, and I have to give a big shout out to the Claremont Hotel, who they have one in Charing Cross but we stayed at the one in which I was saying to Martin, I love Victoria now, like.
It's like, really like, obviously it used to just be like the train station, there was stuff there, but now it's like, the shopping center is so nice, like the train station's got loads in it, the whole area, there's just a lot more, like,
think I
coming now?
where he'd like film like you'd come
Yes!
in the
Yeah, so there's a door at the train station into the hotel. It's so cool. And it was so nice, and they'd left like a little card in the room saying welcome with a little cupcake. And our room was just so nice, and they really pride themselves on being a home from home. Which like, when you're walking down the corridors, there's all like, people.
Beautiful, like, black and white photos of, like, to do with trains, because obviously they're in a train station, and old pictures of the train station and stuff, and the area of Victoria.
And then there's, like, in your room, it's all, like, nice artwork, there's actual, like, nice wallpapers, and nice bedding, and there's, like, you know, like, when you have, like, your coffee table books, they have little bits and bobs like that, there's houseplants in the rooms, like, it really genuinely feels like you're at home, which, yeah, it is. So nice. It was really, really nice hotel. Really like, exactly what they're trying to be. That, that's, they've achieved it. Yeah. So
nice. I
was good. And the show is just incredible. Have you
Oh, no.
God.
is
So good.
Rich is such a big Harry Potter fan and he loves the theatre as well.
Well, I said this because We bought the program, and it's been on since 2016, which I could not believe, so it's eight years. And I'm the same, I'm a huge Harry Potter fan, huge theatre fan, so I was really shocked that we hadn't been. But, oh god, it's just, the ste I kid you not, the stuff that's happening on the stage is actually, like, magic. Like, they go into the phone box to go to the Ministry of Magic, and, like, they disappear. And I'm like, how did they do that?
And sometimes you have to stop yourself and be like, because I think we're so used to watching TVs and films that we're used to seeing stuff that, we're kind of used to like CGI and, and all these kind of things that, things happen that can't in reality, that you have to stop yourself for a second and go, we're watching a theatre. Like, they are live people.
These people are acting. This
Like, what, and like when they use the polyjuice potion and stuff, and they transform, like, You're like, how are they doing this? And there's a point where there's a bookcase, and they're like being pulled into the bookcase, and you're like,
cool.
And there's a bit where the hot, where a part of the stage turns into water, when they're going back to the, you know, Goblet of the Fire, Goblet of Fire, where they do the task underwater.
Yeah.
a bit where they do that, and like, there's a bit of the stage, they just suddenly come up through the stage, and they're all wet, and there's water, and you're like, what?
How has that happened?
So good.
like that about the theatre though, because it's all sort of like man made tricks and,
Yeah.
slight hand and
So clever.
it's really cool
It's really clever.
makes it really, I pantos in my time, but actually, do you know what? I really want to go to a Christmas panto. Right?
when I was a kid.
been a few times but not, not in the
we always went. I haven't, no, yeah, I haven't since I'm an adult.
should go,
Yeah, we should do. Yeah. Yeah, let's, we'll have to look. We'll sort,
Yeah,
We used to go sometimes, we'd either go for my birthday, or we'd go between Christmas and New Year, or we'd go for my sister's birthday, because that's in January. So we'd, and also my sister's birthday's end. Oh, that would be good for you actually when Lily's older.
yeah,
birthday's end of January, so we used to always go to the last show, because they're always the best ones, they're always really funny. Yeah, so we do that quite often, we go out for dinner and stuff, and then yeah, for
love
birthday, because January birthdays are a bit, aren't they, a bit pants.
Aw. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
Poor Lily.
She's meant to be February,
Yeah, poor,
had to have
poor girl.
it's my fault really.
Yeah, bad times. So yeah, no, it's a really good weekend. Glad we did it. And yeah, I definitely recommend doing the whole six month anniversary thing, which is really, really nice to do. So yeah. But other than that, just yeah, cracking on with planning. I have got to just say, right.
Oh no, what's happened?
We had a bit of a situation yesterday. So
no.
basically I've been working with this couple only for about, I'd say about two weeks,
Yeah.
Yeah. They, so what happens with me is when you we do all the paperwork, sign the contract, do the invoicing and stuff, and then you book in and you get like a welcome email and you do an initial con like initial meeting where we go a bit more deeper than in your consultation. So we kick start the planning process and I'm like, okay, this is what we're going to work on.
First, and then, you know, we ask a little bit more in depth about, you know, the things that we need to know, color schemes, mood boards, all those kind of bits and bobs. Anyway, so this couple, they, can I just say first off, they're the nicest couple, really, really, really lovely, but everything that I had. So I'm talking like my notes from my first consultation, my proposal, my invoice, all of the subject titles the contract, which is signed by them, and I've got a signed copy.
We're in a certain date, which was midweek, which I don't think anything of, especially in the summer nowadays. Like if, you know, people have got family and teachers and stuff like that.
Midwick, they're becoming way more popular.
Exactly. So I wouldn't even question it.
No.
Well, yesterday I'm chatting away to the hotel that they're all staying at because we're trying to do we want to do like a night before welcome party. They're like, Hannah, we're really confused because all the bedrooms are booked for Friday, Saturday night with the wedding being on Saturday. And I was like, sorry.
What?
So I went on to,
Oh, God.
she'd sent me, she'd added me as like a manager to their wedding website. So I thought, well, the wedding website would be right. Went on there. It's the Saturday. Everything I've got, everything they've signed, everything, like, I've sent to them. Is for this weekday date?
So I feel like there's a couple of things here that we need to address. Well
Yeah,
being if you have signed anything to do with your wedding, people, please check that the date is
literally like that's like at the very like I understand people don't read things, but come on
people, the date of
And it's pretty like like my proposals are pretty like, you know, it's not like there's loads of gum It's like the first page is their names the venue the date
yeah, the date.
and like on the contract It's at the top the names the day the venue. Do you know what I mean? And I was like Did it well? Yeah,
Yes, it did. It did. It happened to me. I had a couple that were going to get married before it was before covid was it over? Yeah, because their wedding got cancelled and removed. So they would have I think they 2021 or something like
yeah. Yeah. Yeah
And everything it was like a Wednesday and it was I kept going Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday, and it was all in there
Yeah. Oh yeah, God, it was the Saturday, it's so early.
was, they wrote something to me, and then, I don't know, it just obviously caught on, and they were like, it's Saturday, and I was like, no, sorry, Wednesday, and they were like, no, it's on Saturday, and I was like, oh, yeah, and then I just sort of like play it down, and I was like, ah, ha, ha, of course it is, I think I might have been meeting with them, wouldn't I, and they just
Oh.
and I was like, but on all your paperwork, it
It says, yeah. Well, thankfully, I haven't actually had to mention it. I feel, I kind of feel like I don't want to be like, by the way, do you know what I mean? Because I had a sudden panic. I was like, oh my God, I hope I'm not booked on the Saturday.
So quickly, I ran to my laptop, checked because I'd looked, it was on my, I was literally about to go out for a run, and I looked at my email and I had, and it was like I'm really confused because, and I was like, So I ran upstairs, looked at their wedding website, checked my calendar and I'm, I'm available. And the only thing that, and I'm so thankful it was just, we've called it now because I hadn't booked any supplies, but I had put inquiries into hair and makeup artists.
So it's really funny you say that because I had to then ring them and be like, I'm really sorry, this isn't me being an idiot. But I honestly thought it was that date, but it was actually the Saturday. And they, both of them said to me. Do you know what? We've had this before.
One of them even saying that they'd been speaking direct to the bride for three weeks back and forth on email with the date in the subject heading, she signed the contract, paid the deposit, and then was like, Oh my God, I've got the date wrong. So you're so right. I feel like this happens a lot more. And this is why I wanted to flag it not to make my couple feel silly. Cause they don't actually know about it.
And I'm not going to flag it because it, it, thankfully the hair maker bias that they do want to book is available. So it's not an issue. It's fine, it's SOID, and they never need to kind of know that it's a problem. But Please check the stuff, because if you didn't have a planner sorted it out for you
Yeah, exactly. Who's gonna pick that up,
exactly.
feel like that's another public service announcement.
Yeah.
hitting the world with them today.
Honestly, I was just, I was so glad that I've not got another book. But, I mean, I was glad, but at the same time, it wasn't my fault, but Obviously that conversation's come from somewhere, because it literally says in my notes from their consultation the date. Like, I always write it down, so
Exactly, so you can't things.
No,
Oh, God, I'm just so pleased that you were free.
I know.
actual,
and that hadn't started booking anything. Imagine if I'd started booking stuff and they hadn't read their contract either, and then they were like, well, sorry, we can't do this Saturday, and we've got your deposit now. That's my biggest slight fear.
yeah.
Oh God.
it's reminding me of loads of things that have happened that I want to mention. I feel like I'm getting, because
Go on.
people all the time, but this one's pretty bad actually, but
Go on.
on the subject of dates and stuff.
Mm. Yeah.
so basically I got booked for a funeral. It
Yeah.
it was like a funeral tribute.
Mm.
Still, someone's tribute on the coffin. And, I was literally driving, and I was driving. my workshop one day and then I got this phone call like oh, hi I'm just wondering and the you know directors are just wondering where how long you're gonna be with the funeral piece not joking you right in that instant moment. I knew I knew what fucked up, right? I knew instantly
Yeah,
I feel like I sort of half shit myself
you like about, you know that feeling when you're literally about to sick everywhere. Yeah.
like my bumhole disappeared, basically.
Oh my god
I was like, I just hung up because I didn't know what to do.
You're like, hello? Hello? I can't, I can't hear you! Tesco. Oh
instead I would go straight on towards not even gonna say where. Another florist. Tesco. I literally
that bad.
into the next the next town along.
Yeah, I
went into this florist who I sort of knew but not very well. I was like in tears and I was like, please help me! This has happened and I'm meant to be doing Obviously I then had answered and was like, oh I'm just on my way I'm stuck in traffic. I was like, I
had an accident
you to help me.
I'm on my way
I need you to do, can you do like a spray? I need to do it now. Literally it needs to go up to this funeral director and they were like yeah yeah okay but they were being really slow so I literally went around the back and just started fucking
No, you're like storming through, right? Let me in!
I was. I was like, you're too slow. I had to stop doing it. I was like, you don't understand. This is, this matter is of urgency.
hearse
just
is waiting.
literally, I pulled in. I
No.
literally
Was it a lot that you had to do? You
so the hearse couldn't get out before they left. And I was like, I'm here with the flowers. Luckily, the family had no idea.
Yeah,
know a thing. But, and it's all, it was, it was literally like the worst day.
so what has happened is you got the date wrong
yeah, yeah. I think
so easily done Dates are a tricky thing.
things and I literally write in about a million diaries.
Well, this
not happen
Yeah, and that's why you kind of had the backup of contracts and that's why this freaked me out so much because I'm like, like, imagine that's something like with another, like, and why, like, please couples just read stuff because, like, it's so easy to make human errors on things like dates and that's why we have contracts. Like, like, I have the dates on the invoice, I have, everything is there, you just make sure you read it because if
it.
That happens.
God, you don't want me pulling up late to your wedding.
Do you know what though I've got another funeral story just to follow that up on so you don't feel as bad so Bearing in mind at the time, I was like, 21? I'd just finished uni, I'd been working in this hotel for about a year. And, we, obviously, this was like, 15 years ago, right? So, this is like, back when we had a paper diary.
Yeah.
know, kind of vibes, and you'd write the book and send the diary.
I'm not gonna lie. a fan.
You have a paper diary, we used to write it in and it was a big thick one and you'd have one at the hotel and one in the sales office, so you'd write something in there, something in there. And then you'd have like word documents for all of your, what we used to call SOP, or like event sheets, order sheets. And you'd print them all out for the week, give them to the hotel.
What happened is, we'd printed all the information for that week, we'd do it two weeks in advance, but in that time funerals are such short lead that the booking had come in ready for, for that week that had already gone out.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'd written this in the paper diary, then I get a call at the sales office. Hannah there's a funeral to stand up, like we dunno anything about it. I was like,
my
so I pegged it over. The sales office is literally behind the hotel, pegged it over, and I'm looking, I'm thinking, please don't this be, you know, the panic. The panic. Please don't this be my fault. Looked in the paper diary and I was like. Yep, it's in there. It's in the paper diary. Rang over to the sales office and they're like, Hannah, we're looking through the paper diary, there's a funeral in here. Thankfully, we had a room available and we literally just blagged it.
Yeah, make your way into the room. And thankfully, all they'd ordered was tea, coffee, and cakes. And we had all, like, tea and coffee's easy to whip up. But there was literally, like, for a while, everyone's just standing in reception because the hotel hadn't just, I'm just run over and I'm like, Yeah, guys, sorry. And actually, thankfully, in the end, they were 15 minutes early. So we blagged it that we weren't, we were just finished from another event.
Oh my
Oh my god, I've never felt, I cried and cried because I was like, I was young, it had never happened before, like, you know.
I
It's
a right state when it happened to me I literally turned up to this funeral
awful.
and I was like shaking I was I don't know how I didn't have an accident. I was driving like God knows Anyway, they were like don't worry it happens all the time.
Really?
me and I was like you're joking
Shut up.
don't worry. Don't don't don't they were like calm down. Don't worry It happens all the time and I was like not to me that I literally thought I was literally
I don't normally do this.
again though.
What what did they have a lot ordered? Was it like the letters?
no, just a spray, literally
Okay.
the irony of it all was that I had a a really good review from that customer
Oh, lovely.
flowers were.
I think they actually complained in the end because I think they realized from the sheer panic on my face what happened.
Oh, no. Well, from weddings to funerals, people, you'll hear it all
And I'm the same as you, it never happened again because I'm so like, after that I was just like,
like meticulous, you're
do. Yeah, you learn from making errors like that.
totally, you
Yeah,
mistakes. That's how you learn.
but he still had, they had a great time, they had a great time. I think, that really annoyed me with that though, I still remember that, well, yeah, awkward. Okay, I take that back, they did have a great time, but, like, they actually kind of did, like, They, they were very jolly people for a funeral. But actually that really annoys me because we pulled it out of the bag and we went like up, we went above and beyond for these people because of what happened.
And I would like, no, I just worked in the sales office, but I was on that bar getting them drinks, all sorts of thinking I need to pitch in it because someone's going to be really mad at me if I don't, right. But then he complained afterwards. I was like, Oh, we've, we felt like we had to wait at the start. We kind of blagged it as, Oh, you was a bit, a little bit
yeah, it was
Yeah, but that really annoyed me because I thought you had a great time and I felt like they kind of knew something was going on and they thought we're going to use that to get some money back.
discount,
bastards.
like in the morning like, Yeah, make sure
Literally. Arseholes. Anyway yeah, that's that's the funeral discussion anyway. So we were chatting recently, weren't we, about guests dropping out and stuff. And I think we spoke about, we actually touched on this as well in our year episode, didn't we?
did.
We were saying like how we've seen a lot of people lately panicking about people dropping out, not having enough people. Is it going to look really lost? And we thought,
it's one of those worries. It's like a real core worry that you
yeah,
like
because it's out
people
control. I think that's what it is. It's out of your control. There's nothing you can do about it. I say you don't want to turn up on the day. What can you do
it. Yeah
and we've kind of touched on it a little bit about you know What what reasons people drop out for and those kind of things? but what we wanted to touch on today is like how to avoid people dropping out on the wedding day and How to handle it
how
they do drop out
so if it does happen don't panic because we've got your back
got your back got your back So I think we're gonna look at first like how to firstly avoid it So one of the things I was saying to you wasn't it Hayley is I think you've always got to think, in the back of your head, honestly, and I don't know if you've had any people like this at your wedding. We did. Is, I know they're going to drop out.
yeah flakes
Those classic people, that you're like, they always drop out, there's something that's always going to happen. Well, we had like certain people which we kind of knew for like various reasons were most likely gonna potentially drop out, right? They didn't necessarily told us that, but we just knew in our heads from situations and babies and things like that, they're gonna drop out.
Yeah.
Anyway, so what we did was we kind of pre prepared backups. Which sounds pretty cool.
this.
It sounds really bad. It was situations like, for example, our friend, very, very good friend of ours. We really wanted his son to come, but it was as in his son, old, he's an, he's an adult himself. But we, we don't see him as much, so we said, oh, he can come along to the evening. But our friend was going to have to drive home and get him because he didn't drive. So we were like, oh, he's not going to be able to drink.
So we said to him, if there's any space on the day, which we feel like there's going to be, P ping us a message, and, and he can come, and that's exactly what he did, and we actually kind of forgot, and on the morning when we had One of the people that we knew would drop out, drop out. He then messaged us and said, Oh, hi guys, just, if you've got any extra spaces, just let me know. And we went back and was like, Oh yeah! Yeah, you can come now. You can come, because we had someone drop out.
You like
then you fill in a space, because at the end of the day, what is really irritating, and I think a lot of people don't realise, and they need to start realising in this world, is people cost money!
every purse, every paper head.
Yeah, yeah,
had a situation where I had somebody drop out. And it was kind of like they dropped out like last minute and kind of I thought they weren't going to anyway so then I was a bit like but that person's just cost me like 175 quid
yeah,
you know I mean it's just like
it's not cheap, is it?
then I could have had like my I don't know my cousin's boyfriend would have probably been nicer for her to have him there at the day but we just to be
just put him on the evening.
add the numbers
Yeah.
couldn't afford to have another
No.
so
Yeah, of course
him in the evening but like if I knew that that person I should have just sort of stuck with my instincts and like, it was kind of,
Yeah,
so. I
and I think it gets,
as well, isn't it? It's like trusting your instincts on these
exact, and I think that's my biggest tip is trust your, exactly like you said, trust your instinct and have a back, I think it's fine to say to people, especially when they're your close mates, like your cousin, saying, look, yeah, if, if someone's going to drop out on the day, which is very likely to happen, we can just tell from X person They, he can come, so like, pre prepare him that he may be able to come earlier or, do you know what I mean, something like that.
You've always got good friends who like, you just come into the evening because you feel like you've got a prioritised family that I feel like you can have that conversation with them and be like, look,
just about, look.
hang in there,
has
it may happen. Did you know that, did you, did you have an inkling that that person was gonna drop out?
Yeah.
And was it on the day that they dropped out?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And this is the other thing which I think we were sort of going to get to, is
Yeah.
getting the messages,
Yes.
one of my, one of my really close friends She was doing a reading and stuff. She had COVID so she couldn't come and that was devastating to be honest.
Yeah, that was really sad. Yeah.
Because it was just like oh such a shame.
Yeah, because she physically couldn't help it and she was so upset.
she but but again it was like I think she Because I wasn't really looking at my phone, so she'd actually let somebody else
Yeah.
to my phone eventually later, I'd seen that she'd messaged me as well, but I think she might have let Richard know.
Yeah.
called me, actually, I think.
Yeah.
to be honest, like, the last thing you want on your wedding day,
I used to hear that. 100%.
you. And I feel like if you can get a designated person that is dealing with that, so that might be like, you know, Some people's case, like you would
Mm hmm.
like your wedding planner, coordinator, or even like your maid of honor, bridesmaid, your
100%. Best ma'am.
man,
Definitely.
these people the jobs
Yeah,
that they want to help you out with.
yeah, and it's such an easy thing and we we always put it on all our couple's wedding websites I had it on mine as well with a number if you've got any problems on the day Please call this person
person.
you feel like you've got a real like Certain people who you think are gonna turn up not turn up or you know You feel like you've just got family that have been A lot, like, letdowns. Just send out, like, a broadcast. This is why I love wedding websites as well. You can send out a broadcast from your website a week before and just be like, Hi guys, just a reminder. If there's any issues on the day, please make sure you do not contact us. Contact this person.
Like, don't feel bad to do things like that because you're so right. You don't want to hear that yourself on the day.
don't need that neggy attitude. But also the other thing is, like, they should know that obviously on the morning of a wedding, everyone's getting ready and so there's a lot going on, especially for like a bridal party, because there's generally, there's more of you, and there's a lot more components into that, like you've got
Yeah.
and makeup artists coming and things like lot going on, so I just feel like it can be quite overwhelming then if you're then receiving messages from people
Oh, 100%.
and it will
Yeah.
It's a day, you know, you it's the most important day of your life, to somebody else it's, obviously they're happy they're coming, but for them to turn
Got other things going on. Yeah,
you know, so,
like people are sick and like kids are sick. We've discussed this before, haven't we?
people, you know,
Yeah.
not be able to make it
Yeah,
well, or something's happened, or we've done a previous episode where we went through some ridiculous reasons people don't come, because trust me, there are some,
There are some, but hopefully not too many.
no, hopefully not.
Yeah, I think it is just so important to highlight that to people, isn't it? It's like, but I mean, I say about our situation where, you know, our friend contacted us, but actually it wasn't, it wasn't even me. It was, you know, it all went through, you know, Martin and he he knew the person who dropped out he then sorted on our friend's son come in and actually I didn't know about it until it was all all sorted.
So it was great really and then I was just like yeah On the day I didn't really care to be honest I was just like whatever but I feel like some situations i've seen lately is where a lot of people dropping out on the day Like like People dropping out and then that's panicking them because it's like, whoa, I'm getting one after the other message.
But yeah, I would just say, I would also like feel like confident to just contact people before the day that, you know, we're going to like potentially drop out and just be like, Hi, just checking in. Everything all okay? Yeah. Do you know what I mean?
if you're that person, you received that message, shame on you.
Yeah. Really shame on you. That's so bad. Like,
this takes me on to like something else, because I was wondering, like, say if you are expecting Like if you've got a big wedding,
yeah,
like a big family, just like high numbers, I don't know, some people have about 200
yeah, yeah.
Do you invite more people if you, if you are certain that there's going to be a percentage of people that drop out in some cases, would you invite more people? Is that like
Right, this is a real tricky one, because I did this once with, well I did, I didn't. The couple were like, look, we're, her family were all coming from abroad, and they were like, we're gonna invite more than the hundred people we can fit in the room, because we know a lot of people aren't gonna turn up. And then they would, they literally, I had to close off the website because they were at a hundred people. And I was like, and they were like, but there's still people that need to come.
And I was like, okay, but you need to sort that out because you
I
can only physically fit a hundred people in the room. And actually on the day we did have about 10 people drop out, but it just made the room more comfortable. I personally wouldn't. The thing is you have to give final catering numbers, dietary requirements and everything anyway, kind of six to eight weeks before. So I would say. No, but just have people on standby like we were saying earlier, those people that you're like,
and be
you might be able to,
Yeah.
It's also, I'll just put it out there, it's quite highly unlikely that people actually drop out physically on the day. Normally if you do, it's like one or two, but I would always expect to drop out about a handful the week before. The week before is the most common time.
Yeah, yeah.
You know,
Yeah.
when you get your
I'm
bit crappy excuses. On the day, day before is when you get your ill people and stuff, but out of, say you've got a hundred people, I would say the most I ever see on the, physically on the day, day before is like probably, yeah, like two, three.
So there's not actually that much to like change your, obviously like you say it's annoying because you paid for them, but yeah, either have a couple of people that would be coming to the evening that you can just quickly upgrade and they're fine to do that. But we, we've done that before. We are friends. God, a few years ago now, we were going for the evening and they messaged and said, oh, we've just had people drop out, this is the day before, do you want to come earlier?
And we were like, yeah, cool, all right, we'll come. Like, because we were fine, we were,
It's a
were about.
yeah.
Yeah, yeah, and if you're, if you're about anyway, like, kind of don't matter. So, yeah, I think it's, it's, it's a, it's a difficult one, isn't it?
Yeah, and I think the other thing to note is that, obviously, from a supplier's point of view, if you have dropouts and then you're worried, Oh, what's that for, like, my table set
Yeah.
it's all sort of sorted out, like, your
Behind the scenes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
so, like, we'd go round and kind of change things up, so, just take that person's seat out, essentially, and
Yeah,
merge the
always, you don't want empty seats at the table, so always make sure you let somebody know, like your coordinator, or like have your coordinator's number so they are told that the person's not coming. So if they're told, then they can just take them off the table, the, the, the, the seats. A lot of people panic about the table plan, it doesn't matter, because if their name's there, well they're not turning up anyway, so it doesn't matter.
Yeah, exactly, you can't, but I've had so many people panic about it, what about, what about the table plan, like it
Who
doesn't matter. No.
like, I'd be looking for my seat. I don't care about anyone else on there, really. And also, like, I probably wouldn't even notice, like, if that person then wasn't there. I'd probably be like, Wow, it was on
But also, if it's a family member, you probably know that they're not coming anyway, so you just see their name and think, Oh yeah, they can't come.
Yeah.
and also, if you do swap people out again, don't panic, just say to that person, Oh, you're gonna be called Debbie today, or whatever. You know, and then they'll just literally sit in their seat. Yeah, nice, nice and easy. Nice and easy.
think hopefully that's covered it,
Yeah.
like it
Couple of tips there on what you can do.
be quite daunting, can't it?
It can. It can.
coming up, and I think it's one of the things that I was getting a bit anxious about. And like, I had a couple of people drop out on the day, literally just two people, but
Yeah, exactly. So that's about, about right. Two, three people. But I think the other thing to remind you is that it is out of your control. You can't panic about it. You can't worry about it before the day because it's completely out of your control. There's nothing you can do.
And the only thing you can do is try and put these processes in place, say on your wedding website, plea, you know, even if you have those question boxes, don't you like, can you make it to the day that even if you add one in to say like, you know, please make sure if you
If you
Can't make it that you let us know of ample time because it is a cost per head. You know, you can let, you know, tell, tell, tell people these things. Be open to people about it.
because I think a lot of people, like, we laugh and stuff and, and about people that have, like, invoiced certain people for not coming to their wedding. Which, you know, it's not the done thing, but, I mean, if someone really pissed me off and, like, didn't turn up for some stupid reason or didn't let me know and just didn't turn up,
yeah, I'd do it as a dig.
yeah,
I wouldn't expect the money, but I'd do it as like
just do it anyway. Okay.
thanks. Yeah, I, the other thing I wanted to talk about actually very quickly is just to say about how you actually react. So personally, I would just advise that if on the day you do, even though you've done all these things that we've just mentioned that you should do, even if then you get a message from, I don't know, Auntie Jane or whatever on the day, and it's really annoyed you. It's just leave it. Do not respond.
Just put forward it onto your coordinator or to whoever's at the venue to sort out the table plan and stuff, and then just leave it until you're back from your honeymoon, because I think you don't wanna be getting into discussions about those kind of things on your wedding day. It's just gonna annoy you
Totally.
want you at the end, at the end of the day. You've just gotta know and you've just gotta think.
from it, will
You don't, and I've seen so many things where people post after the wedding and they're like, Oh, I'm just really annoyed because, you know, cousin Martha messaged and said they weren't coming and it was the worst excuse and I'm really angry and I don't know what to do about it. And you're like, you just can't, at the end of the day, if you meant that much to them they wouldn't be letting you down on a crappy excuse. So, you've just got to think, do you know what, that's how some people are.
That's it. Yeah.
probably are expecting it if Cousin Martha is a bit crap, and that's what they've done, you're probably expecting it.
exactly.
also, just don't worry about it until after your honeymoon, you're back, and then, if you feel like you need to sit and have a conversation, sit and have a conversation, but, I kind of feel like it's a little bit, not unforgivable, but, it is a bit, if it's a crap excuse,
is pretty
or like you say, if they just don't turn up and not contact you,
I
that would put them massively down, they'd be off the Christmas card list, I think.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, I wouldn't be bothered with them as much, no.
you later.
It's one less present to buy.
Yeah.
But yeah, hopefully that's some help. And yeah, send in your messages if this has happened to you, or
know. Let us
you've had to do it to someone. Let us know, like, the reason why you had to cancel, you know.
see a reason the bell.
Yeah, we want to know, we want to know. Cool, so should we go on to the lessons of questions and messages? Questions?
so we've got a question here from
Whee!
puts at the end of their message huge fan of the podcast. Thank you very much. So say we're planning our wedding for August 2025. Do you have any wedding day activities you can recommend Our photographer is doing candid style photography, so we won't have the usual time set aside for photographs. Other weddings we've been to have had photo booths, croquet and things like that. But have you come across anything a bit different or something that's been particularly fun?
We will also have the day before the wedding with guests, so if you can recommend anything for the night before too, that would be amazing. Thank you.
Oh, lots going on here.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, you say about like the croquet, I will say, I know you've said you've, you've seen it, but the garden games are so popular.
Yeah.
People love a garden game.
opinion but I don't like them.
Do you not? Oh.
I don't know what it is. I just, it's not, I just don't know, I just feel like they're a bit of a waste.
Yeah, I can, I can kind of see that.
I
No, no, no, no. I get, no, I get that, because I, I do think it depends on the layout of your venue. Because if you've got a nice lawn where you're doing your drink reception, people will pick them up and play with them. But I do think you're right. Sometimes people really go to effort and then they're not used.
feel like they're more for kids. Like, if you've got a lot of kids at your wedding, then yeah, okay, like,
Oh, see, I've seen some adults love a bit of a garden game.
it's just me. Maybe I'm just a massive
She's, she's not a garden game gal. What I will say that I love is a live painter at the minute.
Oh my god, yes.
loving it. Not a caricaturist, although I'm not against caricaturists.
actually met a guy, I went to an open evening at Heads of House, and there
Yeah?
who like, basically was kind of like caricatures, but he, he cut silhouettes, so it's not caricatures at
I know who you mean.
out of paper, of you, and they genuinely, he did me and Richard and we looked just like, I couldn't believe it, obviously, I mean that's his job, to make us look like us, but I was, I was like, this is so
So good and then people take home so the the live painters have become really popular with the so you go up you have your Photo taken and then they start painting and then you take that home as a little like favor of you, like, as the couple. They are really cool, and me and Martin have had a caricature done before at a wedding, and I think it's quite fun, and it takes like, five, ten minutes per couple, so it's like something fun for them to do. Yeah, I, I do quite love that.
To a wedding where our friends had a, it was like a I would say on the go, basically like a travelling
yeah.
in the back of this like
Oh my god, I saw, I've seen
Yeah, it
those!
really good. Do you know what? It was really good.
I've seen those, but me and Martin were talking about this. Well actually we saw one where we, where we went to get a pizza from the guys that did our wedding pizza in the evening and I wanted Martin to try it. And they were at a wedding and they had one of those, but we're a bit like, you can only fit like five or six people in there. So like, I don't, I don't understand.
we went if they they had it so it depends when you're thinking of doing it But they
Right.
So after the I think it was after the cake cutting and everything
Oh okay, like more the evening.
and then we went off into you went off into groups,
Yeah.
I guess, so they've asked if there's anything they can do the night before, so that would be something quite
Yeah, well they've said,
groups the night before and do, because it'd be
Oh, yeah.
want to say team
Oh, I love an escape.
that would be really
100%. Go to one in like, I mean, I don't know where you're based, but for example, in Northamptonshire and in Milton Keynes, there's like a centre you go to and there's like five different ones. You could all go, do an escape, split, split it all. You could put everyone's names in a hat and pick them out. And do like teams of five, six in each room. And then also, you're mingling people that might not necessarily know each other to get to know each other, ready for the wedding day.
I think that's a great idea for the night before, Hayley.
The guys that they had, it was called, it was called the Games Lab. And I think they come
I think that's the one, yeah.
yeah,
that, or, if I was doing the night before, there's quite a few of you, I'd go to an actual, like,
Yeah.
room place, but yeah, at the wedding, that would be quite cool. We've also seen one with, like, arcade games and, like, Xbox and stuff, if you've got kids to have during that time. The other thing I would just mention is, I'm completely with you here, in that you're a photographer still in the Canada Style Photography, you're not going to have the usual time set aside for photos, right?
And I'm completely with you, I hate staged photos, but what I will flag to you, is that you do have to have a certain amount of time still for photos, because All these photos on Instagram that make it look like you're just walking down the road, that's still staged. They are staging you walking along, and then they're taking the photos. You still need 10 15 minutes as a couple to go off, like we did, we had to do it, but we But our photographer made it more fun.
You know, she was getting us like
it's not
pissing around and stuff. Yeah. And then getting the nice photos, but you still have to have that time. And the same with family photos. If you want certain pictures of certain family, we had the same thing. I was like, do not want to have to do group photos, but we literally got off our families in groups lined up. So it was like Martin's family, my family, which was split into two. And literally went. Zoom, zoom, zoom. But again, it's still ten minutes of like, your time.
You still do need to time that in.
but,
And the other thing I would say is, at that point during the drinks reception, right, so I'm guessing you're talking about the drinks reception, so you have your ceremony, you have an hour and a half drinks reception, we have drinks and canapes, and then during that time you normally have photos. I would say at that point, a lot of the time, because you've had the ceremony, no one's been talking during the ceremony, that time people just want to have a chinwag and catch up.
Yeah.
know what I mean? Like, a lot of the time people are busy doing that.
seen each other for a long time. You always normally might be getting people together that haven't
Yeah,
So like, and I thought that it was really cool at your wedding that you had that guy
yeah, I was gonna say singer as well. It's nice bit of atmosphere
an acoustic player, some, some kind of someone playing live music. And I think that's really cool because people are interested by
yeah,
and, and it's something memorable. And I just think that it's rather than just have music playing, if you've got someone playing a live instrument. I just think that's a bit cool as well,
yeah, but I mean you could do things a bit more interactive Obviously you have got things like magicians that can go around and do things like you can get some good ones
in the middle and it sends a photo
Oh, yeah, that is more of an evening thing though. But yeah, that's like a 360 booth, isn't it? And then you're like dancing and then they're like spinning around. But yeah, I'd say any kind of like music you had a string quartet, didn't you Hayley?
I did indeed.
you could
it.
do as well, you know, like you, I know you were saying Hayley about garden games, maybe people don't use them, but you could actually set time for games. You don't need to do like croquet, but you could do something a bit more like, I mean, you don't probably, yeah, I mean, you probably don't want people, like, running, like, round, I was thinking rounders, but it's, pfft, no, yeah, no. Yeah, literally, but even, like, I don't know, like, noughts and crosses or something like a,
Yeah.
quiz, like, physically get everybody involved. But I do just honestly think that you will find that people will just be, like, off chatting. Because at that point, people haven't had time to catch up. Your best time to do entertainment is in the evening, I always think. Because it's getting to the point where they're like, We've sat, we've had enough chatting to each other now.
That's
that is when you've got your band and stuff on, do you know what I mean?
Yep, I agree, I
I think don't, I think don't think into it too much. And just
the
do some, like, nice little points. Like, if you want to do some foodie stations, you could do Ooh, you could do, like, a live person, like, cookin up something. Like obviously you want it to be small, but
Or like you have the s'mores station, so something where people are getting this like
Yeah.
s'mores and stuff, toast, marshmallows, if
Again, that's probably more evening though, isn't it?
that's it, yeah, yeah,
ev But I do I have heard of people Is it a shuckler? Is that what they're called?
don't know what that is, I'll be honest.
Where it's like a guy with a big tra It's like quite traditional where they're like with the cockles or the m You know where they're like shuckling them or something? I mean, I'm not into it because I'm not into fish at all, but But something interactive like that Where they're like physically, like, you you go in and watching them and then they're Do you know what the other thing I love the idea of? You might think this is a bit tacky. I don't know if it's very wedding vibe.
But I was thinking this actually for a wedding that I'm doing next year because they'll frickin love it. But you know like when you go to a Christmas market and you get the little wooden cabins, or like a fair? Like them, where you've got like hookah duck and stuff? Like in your, like have a couple of them at the wedding?
that's
hookah duck sh
that's cool, I like
and a little like, you know, you have to like get the gun and like hit the target. Stuff like that, like games
Like
but fun. Yeah, maybe like, like a giant Jenga or like giant Kinect 4, like more fun games.
as well, isn't
Yeah, exactly. If you've got like a nice lawn, summer, pims on the lawn, and then you've got some like little like booths where you can go up and it's like kiddie, like funfair games more than like. I mean, go for a helter skelter. Imagine wedding photos on a helter skelter.
That'd be really
I had a corporate event once do that. Full funfair vibe. It was, it was really really good. Yeah, hopefully there's but I think anything,
few ideas there for you, so
yeah, anything music and stuff related I think is, anything, anything music or food. The other thing you could do music wise is something So you could have like a Roman jazz band with the trumpet and stuff. And or like a mariachi band. You like a bit more interactive and fun.
Yeah,
So, yeah. Yeah. So I hope that helps anyway. I think that's us for this week, isn't it?
Thanks for listening, people.
Thank you so much.
You can get in touch with us on socials, our Instagrams at letsgetyouwedpodcast and you can email us with your listeners questions. It's letsgetyouwedpodcast at gmail. com and also we're on TikTok. and you can not, don't forget, you can book your tickets to our live podcast
can.
that's on the 29th of January and the link to that is in the show description.
Very exciting! Thanks guys, we'll see you next
for
week! Bye!