Featuring Monica Padman

so honored to have you. You are one of my favorite podcasters and I genuinely look up to you so much because your drive and just the way you're just a go getter and it's really inspiring. Thank you, Thank you. That's um, that's such a nice compliment. And I think one, um that I can take amazing as you should, take it as you should. So something that I want to talk about is when did you first think, Okay, I want to be in the entertainment industry in some way,

shape or form. I'm not sure what, but I want to be in it. Well when I was. And I sound like a broken record because I've talked about this lot, but this is the truth. Um, Let's be real man. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Um. When I was in eighth grade, I saw Good while hunting for the first time. And then I also at the same time was getting super into Friends, the TV show Who Hasn't Had? If you haven't gotten super into Friends, You've missed out on life, You've missed out on serotonin. Honestly,

you really have. And I'd encourage you to get into it. It's a mental health fix, it really is. Um. But yes, So I was super into those things, and they like transported me. I was living in fantasy land all the time after seeing that, of like, I want to be in something like either of those things, Like I want to be a part of what they're doing, which is making other people feel like I feel. Um, And so I just assumed that was acting because it's just the

first one, Like they're on the screen. Yeah, what else is there. I didn't know anything about producers or directing or anything. I just was like, Okay, I want so I want to do that. So I want to be an actor. And then in ninth grade I joined theater. I did theater and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is right, this is the right fell that home. Yes, I loved it. I mean I was terrified, but I loved it. And it's so rare, like I'm scared of

everything basically too. And but it's I'm an anxious girly yes exactly. I'm just like filled with butterflies absolutely all the time, all the time. But it was it was a weird thing to experience that anxiety but then have it to be positive. That's how I feel with the podcast. I know exactly what you're talking about. Like it's you're scared, and then you come out on the other end you're like, I'm better I'm better off for it, and I get

your creative energy. I just I did love it. So it's like, Okay, well that's done, I'm doing that now we know um. And so yeah, that was the first. That was sort of the first iterational. So theater, what was your favorite musical you put on or play? I have to ask. I'm from a musical theater family too. You are, well, you're gonna be mad at me then, because I don't like musical I don't like musicals. I

like straight plays. And in high school, the best thing we did and this was so informative for me as a person. It was incredible. My senior year, our theater class we wrote a play as a whole class, and they were like these little vignettes, so sketches we wrote basically sketches. We were paired and we like had these different groups for these different sketches and we wrote them.

And then we put on this play and it was about high school and it was like sort you know, nods to our own high school and it was life changing. It was so fun and it was so cathartic, and it was um it sold, you know, no one came to plays like at my school. It was like you know football. It was in the South. It was like plays never sold out where the musical theater kids were at.

So it was but it was three nights we um put on that play and it sold out every night and it was like a big deal and it was a big deal. It's like have you seen the play? And it was so cool to be a part of that and the fact that we had written it like your baby, it added a new layer of of ownership that obviously in high school you never ever ever get. I'm so grateful to my theater teacher. Her name was

Miss Vetter. Shout out the net better and um, she was like, who would have thought to put a bunch of high schoolers in charge of writing a play? And she did and it was unbelievable. So from that experience, was it the writing part or the collaboration of collaborating with people around you? Because I've noticed I love collaboration. It is there's nothing like it. There is nothing like it.

And I think when I was watching like Friends and like in retrospect, watching Friends and watching good Will Hunting, it was honestly that that I was drawn to more than acting. I think I didn't know that, but now seeing it from a bird's eye view, I can see like like the Ben and Matt writing it, like that whole story, and then the ensemble of friends, like that's what I was drawn to. Is this like camaraderie within creativity? I think? And so in yes, the collaboration piece, the

writing piece too. I mean I love writing, I always have, but that felt so different, like words like dialogue, felt so different than what I've been used to writing, and it was just so fun, it was so eye opening. I love experiences like that because they truly shape so much. I think one of my favorite parts. And maybe It's why I love like Parks and Wreck in the Office and shows like that, is that there's always like through elements that kind of overlay throughout that you'll pick up on.

You're like, oh, every time you watch you pick up on something different. Yes, yes, I agree. So I want to talk about armchair experts. Okay, so you came up the format. You're the one that ish ish I can't take all you know obviously obviously you can't take all the credits, but I think, I think, But it's also it just has so much of you in it, thank

and that's what's so special about it. And I was wondering when you came up with when you're creating these podcasts, what's the most unexpected lesson you've learned about yourself that you didn't expect to going into it. That's a great question.

I think for me, the biggest that I've learned from all of them, all the months we've done um, including in majorly one that's about to come out on Fertility about yes, is I am like, no holds bar, I'm just like I am fine to just kind of spill every single thing I'm thinking and feeling and going through. I would not have expected that going in, and even at the very beginning, I was hesitant and I talked

to DX about it. I was like, I don't know, like this feels very vulnerable, and He's like, yeah, I mean you don't have to, but it's going to be better off for it, and not like not like oh, it'll be a good show if you're like crying, but just like authenticity is always what reads, it's the best. Yeah. So I was like, all right, it's like my might

as well. Is it weird when people like know things about you and they come up to you and you're like, wait, how do you know that very particular random fact about me? It's like did I share that? Yes. It's happened a couple of times where I'm like, oh, yeah, I talked about that and now and now people know. Um. But it's were the times where I've been like, oh, I need to be a little careful is when I talk

about other people. Not badly, of course, but like when I'm talking about people in my life and I'm like, oh, I was at this this with this person and then they said this, I don't think about that, and I made it any conversation though, you know, yeah, but I tell you know, we tell stories about our lives and our friends, and sometimes I'm like, Wow, they're a little more private than me, So I need to be a

little bit more careful. I've been trying to immerse myself in creativity as much as possible, because I've noticed that that's when I'm just feeling most myself. I love that. But burnout is real, and that is something that I was wondering if you've ever experienced and if you have any advice song, because I know a lot of people that I can overwork themselves, and I feel like hustle and grind culture is so emphasized right now and glorified and it's not good to not take care of your

mental health and your social beings. I was wondering if that's something that you've gone through a hundred I mean, I don't know if I have advice, I need advice, I don't. UM. My advice would be to make sure because like in this job, in my job, um, I could be working all the time. I could be because I also edit our show, so and we have lots of shows, and so at any moment, I could be

sitting down and working on one of those things. So my advice that I've tried to implement and done well is like I am going out to dinner with my friend on Tuesday. I am going to go get a drink with Jess on Monday. Like I plan in time, recreational time, because if I don't, then I'll I'll work. Like so your podcast, you have to live life to be able to talk about it. Very true, very true.

But you have to like tell yourself, I I it's okay to say yes to um things that feel quote fun or extra, even though you have work to do. It's really important for balance, even if it means I mean for me, even if it means like okay, I am going to say yes to this dinner date and then maybe it means I go home and I'm up late working, but it's still important to put that other piece in exact for me. No, I it's it's something that I find that's hard to prioritize. But I notice

what I don't the negative effects of it. Yes, it's I mean, it is real when you're fully immersed in work and work only it is it's too much like I don't know, I don't know. We're built to be that way. No, especially when you don't work at nine to five and there's no hard cut off. You have to create those boundaries yourself, and if you've a lot to get done and it gets so blurred. Yes, I literally that's funny that you brought it up. Yesterday or Sunday.

I like wrote out a calendar for the week because I was like, that's what I do. I have to write everything, yes, but I normally don't. I'm like, okay, you know, I can figure it out. But I thought, I really need to write out a schedule for the week so I don't get super Otherwise I was just like so overwhelmed. This week is going to be crazy by the time. Yes, it helped, like it helped put some structure to it and not feel like it's just

just like wait over you. Yeah, I've noticed. For me, I feel so I'm going to forget something unless I write it down. I have to like writing down my to do list are the most calming part of my day, and then checking them off is the most satisfying part. It just hits different. It's really special. It's really something about editing. What about it? Do you like it? Piecing together? The story is it kind of replaying it back because I know you can learn so much just from editing.

I've learned so much about people in general, a lot about myself. Um yeah, because you can hear it objectively, and you don't normally in life get to hear yourself objectively, So it's kind of a privileged point of view. I do like that, um. I like and I will shout out my friend Emma, who also we've we've brought on recently and she also helps with editing. So she goes through first, and then I go through and I edit

for content. So she goes in now and she takes out the ums and the likes, and you know, she has some instructions on what to do, and then I go in and I decide, like what stays, what goes. I really like having a say in the end product because it's a whole process. You know, we record and then it's booking the guests. It's like, exactly, people don't realize on the back end of it, Like it's so time consuming and it's more than just the episode, so

much more. Yeah, you're right, it starts way before that. Yeah, it's the it's the reach out, and then it's the long time before we may schedule, reschedule this. Yeah, and so by the time we get the edit, it feels complete and I like and I like that, and I like, I mean, really, it's my fingerprint, you know. I'm deciding what says, what goes, How provocative do we want to be? How provocative do we not want to be? I get

to make those decisions, and so it's feels rewarding. I think I do think editing feeling and because it's just so tedious. It is so tedious that when you complete it, you do feel like you've really accomplished something. Oh it feels like you just ran a marathon in a weird way. You're like, yes, for your brain, for your brain. Absolutely, that's what it's like. Yeah, Okay, we have to take one quick break. But when we come back, I wanted to Ivan and talk about your new podcast, Race the

thirty five, which I am so fascinated by. Also what it's like working with Kristen and Dax and so much more. We'll be right back and we're back. I'm very excited to talk to you about this new podcast coming because um so I have a new Betrios. You do, Okay, you do, and I was told that seventeen to freeze my eggs. I did not because another doctor told me not to. But I understand the fact that this is a conversation that has been brought up so early in

my life that I've had to deal with. I truly am like so excited to get into this conversation with you because it's so not discussed enough at all. I mean it is in some ways, but I found that it's normally spoken about so clinically, and that's really why I wanted to do this. So, yes, we have the a show. It's called Race to thirty five. Um, it's under our armchair umbrella and the network work of the network. Yeah that is, that is what it is. We just call it an umbrella. Uh but yeah. So it's me

and Liz Plank. We co host and she's the best, and we got to know each other really well, really quick. You gotta if this is the topic. It was crazy. It was crazy. We just got like jumped in the deep end and did this together. We froze her exit at the same time, and we followed that whole process and so each episode, at the top of each episode is us talking about how we're feeling talking about, you know,

the new thoughts and feelings. We've had the shots from the night before, which we did together every night, and and then the rest of the episode is us talking to someone with an interesting fertility story or an expert in the field, and it's I'm I I'm really proud of It is so intimate, obviously, like it's our bodies. It's no one. You know, you're not supposed to compare or worry about the result. But at the end of the day, there's a result. You get a number of eggs,

and so there's also this kind of pressure. There is so much pressure that I already feel and I'm twenty yeah, and it's crazy that you're ticking time like you gotta go, and it's like, no, yes, yes, I know, I know, you you deaf, you have time. Don't worry. There's so many different women's issues that also coincide with it, like it's all intertwined, oh for sure. And the thing is that's funny is we walk around and we don't necessarily know these things about our bodies unless there's a reason

to know. If there's a problem or you're in pain or something, and you go seek out professional normally, like at the very beginning of this process, what you do is you go in, they give you a transmaginal ultrasound and they look to see how many follicles you have. It is so cool, It is so cool. It's magic. I mean the fact that they can see inside you and know how many follicles you have that will maybe

or maybe not trying to like mature intoath. I know, it's fascinating, but you know that early first um and that's kind of the maximount you'll have. And and it's funny because you get that number and you start, you know, in an our case, spiraling or thinking about that or what does it mean? And is it scary? Is it not? And it's funny because I was like, well, if I hadn't frozen my eggs, I wouldn't. I would never know that number, would never know that number, even though it exists.

It's so crazy. I would never know. And even if if I got pregnant, like a lot of my friends who have gotten pregnant naturally, they don't know how many follicles they have. They just got pregnant. It's very interesting to do it this way where you you know so much maybe too much. Yeah, do you think you know you knew too much information going into it? As a fellow of anxious girly? Like, how does that affect the connection between the two, because I don't know of how

I would do well knowing all of that? Well, is there a sense of relief also having that information? I think it depending on your personal situation, it can be. Um, I think, I mean, if you're deciding to freeze your eggs, you have to know that information. It's part of it. I mean, it's part of the whole deal. So I get you know, It's not like, oh I wish I didn't know, because that's like the point. The point is to know how many you have for your insurance? But do I wish I had not done it so that

I never knew? No, I'm glad, I'm I'm glad I went through that process. What have you learned most about yourself? I think, I mean, this is like such a bold statement before, but now I'm I'm wishy washing on it. During it, I will say, during it, I was like, I definitely want to have kids, and which I did not know before. I didn't I didn't feel like I'm

one of those people who has to have kids. You know, some women are like four and they're like, I'm a mom, yes, and they just know if they have like really strong maternal instincts from early on, they know. I mean, I think some of that is societal, like a lot of it. But also I do I know these people, like I do sense that some people are like, yeah, I'm I'm meant to be a mom, And I never had that. Um. Also, I mean, I have an and credible mother. She's so

good and so like, she's perfect, perfect for me. But she wasn't like the most maternal mom, and so I didn't also have that modeled. So I never was like this is what I like, tiny baby in my arms or whatever. Like she wasn't like looking at babies nearby in the grocery store and like oh, like she didn't do that, and so either do I. I don't do that either. Um So I didn't know. I've always been on the fence, but during the process was like, no I do. Now that I'm out of it, I'm bad.

Like I don't know. It's hard to know when you're on so many hormones. What's real? Tell me about it? I had had got a birth control, or went on birth control and it gave me cystic acne. That's really funny that you say that, because I had really bad cystic acne. The only thing that worked was birth control. It's so interesting how it affects everyone so differently. Yeah, I know, hormone crazy. They are crazy. I learned a lot about hormones over this process. Well, we had do

you know Andrew Huberman the Huberman Lab podcast. I've heard of it. It's a great podcast. Um. We had Andrew on Armchair and then we had him on Race as well, Um, to talk about hormones and name by the way, Yeah, well Race against the Clock you know, hey, it's playing on what we go through exactly. But yeah, he said, when a male and a female have a baby together,

the man's testosterone actually drops. Isn't that crazy? And I think it's because like, well, I mean there's lots of there's lots of there's lots of theories, but like a lot of you know, when people say like the dad bod, a lot of that can come from a drop in testosterone. Mm hmmm. It's interesting. There's a lot there's a lot of little baby facts like that. No hormones of everything much everything, and it's just something that we have to

deal with on a day to day. And then when you're putting external hormones literally you're putting so many hormones in your body in order to like make your eggs grow times a good, like you want them huge, like so much more than they How are your emotions? They were surprisingly fine? Okay, that's so good. I was shocked because I am so sensitive to hormonal change, like I have pretty bad pian mass, like I feel it. I

feel hormonal change in extreme, very in tune with your body. Yes, and um, so I was really like this is gone up, this is gonna up. For yes, I was like, this is going to be horrible, and then I actually was okay. Liz had a little bit tougher over time. And again, I'm about to start editing that shows, so I don't really know until I'm in there, I don't know. I might be crazy. And I just in the moment didn't realize what a beautiful journal to look back on. I'm scared.

So you've been doing multiple podcasts, would you say podcasting into your favorite type of media of storytelling as like on the outside or to to create, to create yeah, yeah, okay, I love it. I love it. It's so awesome. It is so awesome. I feel like it's so intimate in a way that lots of other mediums can't be. UM, and you just get to tell tiny stories, like really teeny tiny stories, and um, those to me are weirdly the most universal ones. Do you have a favorite podcast

story you've told so far? Mm hmm. They're like, oh, I got a great reaction, or it's just like, oh, this is a good story. I know, that's a great question. I mean, this isn't like a great reaction. But when when so Dax had a relapse and we did an episode on that, and that was, um, I think a really important episode for us, and that was a really important piece of his story that we had to tell,

and we did. We felt like obligated to tell our listeners because we are very honest and it would be so weird, like to to not talk about this kind of very big thing going on and all of our lives at that time, and we have a lot of people who are listening who are sober, who are trying to get sober, who are in recovery, and it felt like it's such a disservice to them to not share this part, like it's an important part. It is a part of recovery. So it's it's the reality of it, Yes, exactly.

And um, so that I think is like the most important story we have told on the show is that very honest reality. Um. And then and then people got to see like a rebound from from that, and it was I think, I hope helpful if you have the most memorable podcast guest you guys have had on that's you've had so many incredible we have I mean for me, Matt Damon, I mean, yeah, it was, it was an

actual dream. It was crazy. I mean I used to like imagine that they would be it would be camping in Georgia and I'd be like, maybe they're in the tent. Like I really thought that. I was nuts. You manifested that moment, I mean ten years or fifteen years later. But yes, do you have any other manifestations you want to put out there? And I do. I do a lot of fantasizing. So I'm sitting here my day spent in daydreaming. Yes, but you gotta shoot high, you do.

That's something I've realized a lot of people if I listened to every person that told me that I couldn't do what I've done, yeah, I wouldn't be doing any of this. We wouldn't be having this conversation. We definitely wouldn't. I totally agree. Like, it's funny because I think in general, I'm a fairly practical person. I grew up in a really practical household. But I have this really pie in the sky um dream or re piece of me that

I'm grateful for, or yes, I would not be here. Yeah, because I feel like, also if you, if we like listen to everyone that says the probability of that happening is so low, you shouldn't do it. It's like, no, yeah, I'm still going to do it because it's for the experience exactly. It's not about results, That's the thing. This process something that I've realized that so many people, at least people that I have no specifically creative A lot of times they focus on the end product. They want

this to be what what success means? You know a lot of the times it's commercial success, it's getting something in. But I feel like the process the best part of No one even appreciates it. It is and even with this podcast with Brace to thirty five, I'm like, I said, I'm about to start editing it and I I don't. I don't want to because that is that's about result, and I already did the process and that it's going

back to it. Yeah, and I like the process was so interesting and illuminating and now I'm like, oh, now I'm going into the like result phase of it, and it doesn't feel as fun fulfilling any of it. Like the process was the big win. Exactly. It's the journey that you remember. It's not necessarily what people view of it because at the end of the day, especially with podcasts, and you put it out there, it's up to other people's interpretation. Like this is a fun part, yes, exactly.

We have to take one more quick break, but when we come back, I want to talk about the idea of mentorship more and working with Kristen and Dax and what that's meant for you and your career. Will be right back. Okay, and we're back. Something else I want to talk to you is about mentorship because I think it's a really interesting topic that isn't talked about a lot, but it is so helpful and got getting guidance from someone that has been there before and truly wants to

support you. And I know you found that a lot within Kristin and Dax and having that mentorship. What has it been like being able to ask them for advice but also being able to like, what have you learned? What's been something you've soaked up that's kind of you've been grained into you. Yeah, a lot from Kristen for sure, because so much of that I think happened when I was her assistant and then when I started doing projects with her. She just handles herself in a way that

is very commendable and respectable. Like always, you know, she does such a good job of looking out for people under her and pulling them up. I think it's hard to do because they're they're doing their job, they're in a position that's helpful to you, like look me. I mean I I worked for her, and she didn't have to say, you know, it's okay for you to go do this other thing, or it's okay for you to expand your wings because that could be a threat to her.

There's so much competition un officially not real competition, but I think it's what society puts on us like women need to not stick together and compete, But if anything, it's we should be doing the opposite because there's more than enough room for everybody. Totally and absolutely. But I don't even mean that per se, I mean more even just practically, like, well, if this person goes and gets this other job or goes and works on the podcast

and the podcast becomes big, will she have time? Ye? Me? I mean, And that's the area is No, I didn't. I had to leave that, and she knew that and still put my needs above hers In that moment she was like, well, Monica's career and future is more important than her assisting me. Um, and that is hard to do. That's really hard, really hard to put someone else's needs above yours. And she does that a lot in life

in general and friendships and everything. So um, I do try to think about that when I am just living my life of that person is their own person and not just there to help, not just there for me. So I think that's that has been something that's really stuck. I mean also just kindness. I mean, she's so nice to everyone, she always is, and I think that has has stuck, just like being being nice hard. It's it's fine,

just be nice, just choose that. You can choose that today. Um. And then with Dax, definitely honest, I mean honesty piece is never going anywhere, and it is I think new Like I think it's from having met him. It's I have never met anyone like that before who's just like so blatantly honest and open and um but also like open with his apologies and open like he's just he's just very himself. And I think that has been grained.

And also I think a big thing that has changed as I used to see things a lot more black and white, and having him in my life has really changed that. I mean, he's only see's gray. He doesn't see any black and white ever, And sometimes I'm like, no, there, sometimes it is black and white. I have to like try to pull them back a little bit towards that.

But he's only seeing that. He has a lot of compassion for people who maybe other people don't have compassion for and that's really bled in Like I always am looking for the flip side of the coin and that that's all him. But I think that's one of the

reasons why it's it just works so well. Is because there's that it's kind of like the opposites attracted way, you know what I mean, and you get the balance of both which is needed, you know, to balance each other out, to push you out of your comfort zone and to maybe reel and back in. Like I've been trying to live more in the gray. So I understand

what you're talking about. It is hard, but you know what twenties a new decade is, what I say, is for putting ourselves out there, for being the gray area. You're so advanced for twenty I mean when I was twenty, yeah, I was definitely not thinking about the gray How would you say doing this throughout this entire process, it's just increased your empathy a bit, I think. So, I really

think so. And Kristen is also incredibly empathetic, So I think just like full immersion in empathy for the past eight years or so has has definitely had an impact eight years, I think. So that's crazy. I think. So, what would you tell your younger self? You could give towenty year old Monica a little piece of advice about knowing all you that you know now? I think I would be circling back to what we talked about just enjoy the ride because you never know where it's going

to go. And I mean, I think actually, to be fair to myself, I think I did a pretty good job of that. Like I was really aware even when I was like working at soul Cycle and and also writing for Smash and doing I had so many jobs going on at once, but I knew that that was still just a piece of my life that I had to round out the rest of it. That like I still needed to have fun and I needed to have dinner parties, like you know, maybe it was just have

fun with my roommate. It was important to me that the rest, even if this piece wasn't fully checked off, that the rest was. I feel like you've done so much and you've learned so many different halfs. You have such an interesting perspective, and that you you know you've done it from a bunch of different angles. Is there is there aside? There is there a new aspect you want to endeavor on that you haven't got upon yet. Um, Yeah, I don't think I know what they are yet, but

love that. But I'm open, Like I'm just open to doing new stuff or new um. Directing buckets actually that's kind of the one thing I'm pretty sure I don't want it to really, Yeah, I say that, and then and then she's directing who We're just we'll play this clip back exactly. Uh No, I mean I guess that. Yeah. I can't rule it out. I won't rule anything out, but I it's never ever been something that I've been

super drawn to. Um. I did like co direct this commercial for Hello Bello, Dax and Christens Diaper Company, and it was fun, but it's it's not it's not for me. But you know what, knowing what you don't want to do is just as important as knowing what you do want to do. I think it's more important. I think that's actually how you figure out what you want to do. And I think not getting stuck in the idea, like because you you know, you might start broadcast journalism and

like this is what I'm doing. I'm doing this, this is what I want to do, and then you'd start taking classes and you start doing and you're like, oh, like I don't tell that that's exactly what's happened. Really, yeah, but you have other stuff too, at least, so you know I'm not stuck. I like to have options. Yeah, but everyone has options, but they don't know that that they think like, oh, now I'm pot committed, like I'm I'm I'm taking these classes and I guess this is

the rest of my life. I don't like it, but oh well, and you don't have to say, oh hell yeah, there's always time for a pivot. I had a class where literally every the theme was just hearing about people's pivots and career essentially and how it changed and that how what they thought they wanted to do, how it evolves, and we need to like appreciate that instead of thinking of change is a bad thing because I'm very I don't do change very well. Yeah. Same, So it's very

hard for me. So I've been trying to embrace it, which has been interesting. But we're going for it. Has it has any positive come out of it? Yeah, I will say I've lived more life, and I'd say I've grown more in the past two months than I have in a long time, and I love it. Yeah. No, change is always hard, even when it's good. Yeah. Growing pains are so real. Yeah they are. They are real.

But then you come out on the other side of it and you've grown and you've learned, and then you have the experience from it, and then you can talk about it on a podcast exactly, exactly. Well, thank you so much, Monica for taking the time to come on my podcast. I look up to you and your work ethic and your drive so much, so I just really appreciate you taking the time. Thank you. I appreciate it so much. This has been so fun. Thank you amazing. Yaiya