Featuring Lauv

Are you at home right now? Yeah? I'm at home. I'm actually in my studio. So is that where you do all your music? Yeah? Um, pretty much. I just got make a really cozy couch behind me and a little set up in little piano, a couple of cents and uh survivee. Is that how you've just been spending your days in mid Yeah, it's like the one of the only things that's keeping me saying, I'm rantined to the couple of my best friends and um, we just like almost every single day we're down here, like twelve

hours a day, just like writing, writing, writing. How many songs do you think you've written well, we might start like five or six ideas, but usually we don't make like five or six songs in one day. We just find like which whatever we like vibe with the most, and we might make like a couple of songs in a day. But I would say probably since we started locking up together, we've probably made about ten songs and then like probably another ten ideas. Um. Yeah, and a

few of them I really really like. So Okay, So do you think the next album would be a quarantine edition? I don't want to call it that because I think that kind of dates it, but a lot of the songs will be made during quarantine for sure. So I don't know about you, but during the quarantine, I've been listening to How I'm Feeling, which is your most recent album, And I know you call yourself the one man band. So my question is, if you could have anyone else in a band, who would it be? Um, it would

be it would probably be like Harry Styles. Um, I'm gonna say Jim Carey, I'm gonna say Chris Martin from Coldplay, I'm gonna say Drake and um uh, Tony the Tiger from Frosted Place. Man. I think that would be the most iconic band of all time? What would it be called, We'd be called we would be called the most iconic band of all time? Pretty simple. Yeah, for the cover for your album, it is incredible. How did you come up with the idea to have uh, your different kind

of personalities formed in colors? Yeah, Basically it was like when I was listening to the music as I was finishing the album, I was like, there's so many different vibes, like so many different kind of genres and and like moods, and I the album for me was sort of born out of this place of feeling very boxed in in terms of identity, you know before, And I wanted the whole album to be about kind of embracing all the different parts of yourself because I think that humans are

really complicated, and I think that the world and the internet tries to mold you into having a singular identity, but I think we're way more complicated than that. So I wanted the artwork and everything to represent like different versions of me and kind of like how they all work together to create this one man boy band. So

who came up with like each one? And how do you assign the color it was just me and then um and then like my creative directors were just sitting in the room together just like homies and just like chatting through the concepts and and um, yeah, we come up with six different characters in addition to the real me. So it's brilliant. I think this. One of the things about this album is there are songs. What is the process of eliminating songs and choosing what has to be

in like an album, because I'm sure that's so stressful. Well, first you get rid of all the ones that suck. I wrote probably about I wrote probably about fifty songs, and then originally my idea was to make it fifteen songs. Um. But then like I tried to narrow it down to fifteen and it just like it just wasn't enough. So I kept like, okay, no sixteen, no eighteen, No, it's twenty not twenty one. And at that point I was like, Okay, it's not gonna be any longer than twenty one songs.

It's like a lot. So yeah, yeah, do you have a favorite song off the album Modern momentas for sure, Okay, let's I want to talk about that song because I think it is so representative of just like where we are, especially with social media these days. I always say that, you know, social media, it brings people closer that you don't see, but it takes you further away from the people you are with. How have you I'm looking for advice for this. How have you maintained or kind of

formed a healthy relationship with social media? I mean, I'm always working on that. I mean, because it's very addictive, you know. Um, So it seems like we have an endless like an endless um whole for attention, like we you know, like I feel like there's like I'll be in a mood and I'm like, I just want to post something so people give pay attention to me, you know,

And I'm like that never fulfills that anything. And I think just trying to get into moments where I actually have like deep conversations with my friends, are like actually talk to my parents, Like I find myself a lot of the time, you know, avoiding calls from my parents are like my sisters are like my best friend because I'm like doing something else, And I'm like, then you can't complain about being lonely if you're the one who's

you know, not not engaging in those conversations. So I'm trying to be aware of that, and um, especially now, I think it's actually been a little bit better because like we're forced, this is like our only way to connect with people right now. We can't see people. So I'm finding myself actually doing things like going on live stream, like really like doing productive things that hopefully are helping people, you know, talking to my parents more often, talking to

friends that I haven't spoken to in a long time. UM. Yeah, That's what I've been trying to do too. It's so hard though, especially with social media to find um you know, if you look at comments, a lot of comments are kind of fake nice and they're like, oh my god all that. So how do you separate that from finding who your real friends are and all that? Um? I feel like I just don't take trying to take anything on social media like with anything more than a grain

of salt. I mean, just the people that I know are the people that I actually know. UM. And aside from that, it's like I kind of just everything is everybody has something to say. I don't know, Yeah, I guess I don't really think about it. I think one of the things that I love about your music is you speak so candidly about things that people just aren't talking about. For example, your song Changes. I hate change so much and I haven't heard a song about it.

How do you just get to be okay with change because you wrote a song about it, so you must have. I mean, I had to get to a literal rock bottom before I decided I needed to make changes, like

I was at the beginning of January nine. I was like, that was like right at the end of that month, I was diagnosed with m O c D and clinical depression, and up until then I was just struggling with it on my own and not really like realizing what it was and sort of downplaying it and being like trying to deal with it myself, and like I was just like, oh,

I don't know. I kept like thinking like it would go way or something, and and I started that song Changes in that time, and it was like when I realized, like I need to be open to something else, you know, are also I'm gonna be stuck here forever. So I think it took me hitting a rock bottom to realize I needed to make changes. Now I'm just trying to,

like after I got through that. I'm trying to just be like a little bit more brave when it comes to making changes, like just be like, you know what, Like it always works out, you know, if you have to change something in your life, whether that means like a relationship with a person or you know, something in your career that's not working for you, or something that's not working, you're not being maybe you're not even being a good friend, and you have to make a change.

Like I think just being aware of those things and being like, you know what, Like we're humans, were able to grow and we're able to evolve. I really believe that, and I think we're naturally programmed to be afraid of those changes. But I think that, you know, we can

override that fear. So yeah, you know, I actually, in the same time when you were going through your lowest point, I was two, I actually have O c D two and I find it I'm curious what your opinion is the misconceptions, because a lot of people will be like, oh my god, I'm so O c D when they're just not into becoming a try and actually with me at least, it's like obsessing over thoughts. Yeah, I mean,

I know exactly what you're talking about. I mean, I feel like, um, I don't want to be like sometimes I want to be frustrated, but then I'm like, don't because it's like, you know, like I don't think people mean wrong when they're like, oh, I'm so O c D about this, Like if they don't, if it's not really like a thing. Um, but I think what when I realized it's like, I mean c O c D

definitely comes in many forms. You know, people really Oh it's like you clean obsessively or blah blah blah, you have to turn the light switch off seven times exactly the right way or whatever. And I know that that's definitely a very classic form of O c D. But you know, in my situation, it's probably sounds kind of similar to yours. It's like very similar have very obsessive negative thoughts that I like constantly need to get reassurance about.

So it's like when I was in January, I was like having these negative obsessions about my past, and like like really really intense ones that I would just journal about over and over, trying to recall events from my past and thinking if I could recall them correctly, I could be happy again, and I would like call my parents multiple times a day, my friends, my sisters, like trying to tell stories from like two or three years ago and be like I didn't I don't know, Like

how did it happen? Like what happened? And like it just got to the point where I was so stuck in this hole that it was like I was fully withdrawn from reality and it felt like it felt like what I needed to do. And that's the thing about I think a lot of like stuff like O c D or anxiety is the voice becomes so loud that it tells you it's what you need to pay attention to no matter what, and it fully takes over your

ability to live your life. You should write a song about O c D. Yeah, I mean it's hard to depict, and you kind of did it really well. So yeah, thank you for giving me a chance to openly talk about it. I appreciate it. No, I feel the same way. That's actually why I started this podcast because when I was really anxious, I had nothing else to do, started listen to podcasts and then I was like there's nothing talking about what I want to and then here we are.

That's amazing. Well, thank you for doing that. I'm really excited to talk about just the song Sad Forever, because I love that You've given a lot of the proceeds to different organizations to help with mental health. When did that journey start? And I know you wrote that song during a really difficult time, So what was it like? Was it like singing a song that it kind of brings you back to that time when ye're in a

good place? Now it's actually quite beautiful. Like I would sing it on tour, and I expected to be really sad on stage when I sing it, and maybe I do at the beginning, maybe I'm a little sad, But by the time I'm like halfway through and everybody's screaming the words, and like it's just this beautiful moment where I'm like everybody is at some different point in their journey right now in this room. You know, some people are really in a low place, some people are probably

in a great place. Some people are fighting through it,

Like it depends depending on the day. For me, I'm in any of those places, but especially like when I can have that perspective of like, look how far I've come, and look how possible it is to get to know to know what it's like to be in a place where you don't think it's possible you'll ever be happy again, and you'll ever want to really live your life and to actually be in the place where you are happy and you do want to live your life full lead. It's like it makes you break down and you're like,

I'm so thankful. You know that song is such like a grounding song for me. It really is. And I know you talk about just like the importance of talking about mental health. Um, what is the fan responsibit like? Because you know you trapped like minded people. So what has that process been like? It's been actually really positive. You know, I was really nervous let's kind of start

opening up about it. But people are really appreciative. People shared their own stories, like a lot of people, you know, fans, friends, family, people haven't spoken to him forever started texting me and stuff. And um, it's also kind of heavy though, because now a lot of people I think like they think I have the answers and like, um, and yeah, I'm still going through it, and I wouldn't want I'm not a professional,

you know. All I can do is speak about my own experience, and you know, it's it's like it feels like a responsibility and I'm happy to share everything I go through. And I started believe that's like my purpose as an artist, you know, is to share what what I go through and what you know, what my life is, because I know if it if my life is this thing, that somebody else's life is likely also that thing. And that's one of my favorite things of the human experience,

is like kind of relating to somebody else. So what is it? What was the hardest song on the album where that you were most hesitant to put out just because it was so like true to you. I mean, modern Aluness was definitely a hard one. Um. Yeah, I think also, you know, Julia and I'll and I'll let that song speak for itself, but just you know, um, I think that's like the first time I've just kind of written basically like an apology song, just straight up

put it out there. But yeah, I think it's very strong to just put your your life in the public eye. So how how do you deal with everyone put putting in their opinions? And I don't do that. I don't always do that well, I try, I try to remember

not to care. I mean, that's one of my biggest things right now as a person that I'm working on is I think a big part of like self security and like confidence is getting to a point where you don't really care about other people think about you, except for the people that you know know you really well and that you love and like they love you on

like a real deep level. And then it's like, oh, if my friend, if my best friend thinks I'm a bad person or I did something not a bad person, but if I did something wrong, Okay, I'm listening, but like to not let the like the endless you know, endless voices on the internet dictate my mood. You know, it's like the worst. Like, So, I'm trying to just get to a point where I'm like, do I feel good about myself? Do I feel like I did the

right thing? And yeah? So I know you talked a lot about meditation and journaling, and I'm curious because I could never get into this. Okay, help me. So I've heard so many great things about it, Yeah, meditation. Meditation is an interesting one. I couldn't get into it for a long time either. I would try to use apps and stuff and I would just get I would do it for a week maybe if I forced myself, and then I would fall out of it again. I get bored, but no, I feel you, and I would get anxious

like during it. What really helped me as a certain type of meditation that I do that Like one of my best friends in the world, Show of Me, he used this form of meditation to really get me out of my lowest points. And it's it's pretty simple basically, I mean, and I want to do more like guided

meditation stuff like out there on the internet. But it's basically, you know the basics of its finding a comfortable position, closing your eyes, putting your arms out, palms facing upward, you know, taking an initial breath, and with that initial breath, imagine everything that's weighing you down, everything that's making you anxious, stressed out, worried, everything that doesn't serve you. Imagine it

falling away and basically speaking through this whole thing. Like whenever I do it, I do it with people or I speak to myself and um, yeah, it's basically like kind of starting from that place of like letting things go, kind of imagining, you know, thoughts that are hitting your mind kind of bouncing away and acknowledging to yourself and to whoever you're with that it's okay to take a

moment for yourself, your spirit, your mind, your heart. Um, talk about just like imagining the front of your chest opening up and opening your heart entirely to receiving energy and giving love. And then it becomes sort of it becomes sort of like I'm not really a religious person myself, but it becomes a bit like prayer, Like I start talking about, you know, like sending love to various people in my life, like people, you know that, my family

and my friends, people that are suffering right now. Um, And and then sorry, I'm kind of rambling, but this is all that's very helpful. It's really nice. And then I kind of it's a lot of it's also like speaking, like because I find when you speak from your heart, there's almost no better way to be in the moment. Like once I start not thinking about what I'm gonna say in the meditation, I just say whatever naturally comes up.

It really becomes powerful and I get to a flow state where I feel totally unaware of any thought except for right this moment. And so I'll talk about you know, like like say things like let us pray for guidance, like let us have you know, the courage to to follow our you know, to follow our guts and to and to you know, always becoming be becoming a better person.

And it's it's a lot of kind of speaking things into fruition and and if you're with other people, speaking your love for them, you know, because sometimes it's hard to express the way you feel towards people, um in a normal social setting for whatever, at least for me.

So this is like I love to meditate with my best friends and just um, you should just you should do it alive, like just meditating because I would listen, because just to kind of get everyone in their own head, because that's hard to do, especially in quarantine by yourself. I know, I tried to do an Instagram live meditation, but I think it was kind of weird because I was just alone speaking to the phone. So I think you should like join, you should guess with somebody in

that way. It's like that would be nice, that would be really nice. And then journaling, yeah, oh, journaling is one that I've tried in the past, but I'm not going to at I don't really do it anymore, right, I like I can like do it like speaking to my phone, but like I just when writing it just I don't know. I'm actually taking a creative writing class and every morning they make you journal for its keeping me accountable with it. Nice change of paste for one's.

I'm gonna talk about your foundation that you started, um, the Blue Boy Foundation. How First of all, why did you want to set a foundation? UM? I wanted to do that. Well, it was it was tied into Sad Forever, you know, when I when I wrote Sad Forever, and then I was starting to get to a better place.

Um um Mentally, I wanted to one tell the story um of kind of like what I was going through, um really Sad Forever, tell the story through that music video as well, and then take all the proceeds from the song and find various organizations to that you know, that are working in the field of mental health and to you know, allocate that money and basically, UM, with my team and a couple other friends and actually my my family, a couple of people in my family are

on the board, We've made this foundation called Blue Boy Foundation, where yeah, we're just um, trying to find ways you know, collecting money and donating money to various organizations all over the world. Um, collecting a dollar on ticket sales each there was like a ticket tax on each concert ticket

that's going you know through the foundation. And I mean my goal with this year, my big goal was to sit down with an organization in every city that I go on toward too and to meet a local organization that's you know, in the field, and learn how like, other than just raising money, what are other ways to help? Because you know, I think there's a lot for everyone to learn, and especially myself. Um, but yeah, I just

kind of wanted to start doing something like that. So I think one of the things that people relate to most as an artist is just your honesty. Do you remember the first time like you felt a connection with a fan that was beyond music and you lay connected

with your life. I'm trying to think. Um. I think one of the thing that first kind of tripped me out was when I started to see people get tattoos in my lyrics, because then that kind of like hit me, like for me to get a tattoo of the lyrics, like I would have to love that song so deeply, like I would have to do it in a song that changed my life. And I think that's when I was like, okay, like this is something serious, you know. Yeah, I mean I think that's a big one that that's

crazy to think that people get. Do you remember the first time that happened? Mm hmm it was I think it was the first one I saw. I think it was in Chicago, one of my very first shows, and it was like, I forget what I said, but it was on it was on her finger, But um, yeah, crazy. I'm always surprised with musicians with anxiety how they can just perform in front of a bunch of people, because

I can't imagine doing that. Yeah, it's interesting, like I feel like I get more anxious around a small group of people than I do a big group. Really, I feel like it's so interesting how it's different for everybody. Yeah, do you have your favorite tour memory. I played a show in New York a couple of years back where I just remember for I don't know why, it was so pleasing, but like it was like the first time I took my shoes off on stage, and it just felt like such a moment to me. I felt so

calm and so grounded, and it was so amazing. It was so good. I don't know, it was such a good show too. It was like I think it was kind of around a little bit after I Like Me Better came out, and it was like, you know, songs about living in New York and I wrote it in New York and then being back in New York playing it, it was just special. You went to n y U, right, what we York? Because I live in New York, Okay,

and I'm about to do the whole college thing. So can you give me any advice because I'm looking at everywhere. I'm mainly looking at schools in California because I love a California. But I'm always I'm always curious at NYU. What did you study there? Music technology? So that must help with your career. Yeah, I mean so basically it's like audio engineering. Um, I feel like I feel like, I mean, honestly, some of my favorite parts of school, like school wise, where I did a minor in psychology.

I really like that. The I feel like a lot of what like, don't get me wrong, like having a music degree definitely like helps, you know, I learned a lot, but I feel like a lot of really what it's about, especially in something like music, you don't I mean, first of all, I don't want anybody to think they have to go to school to be a successful artist, successful producers, like so many people who don't do that, Like I just I just don't, like, I don't subscribe to that

you have to go to school for this, like you know, whether or not you can even afford it, Like I wouldn't even say you should feel like you have to go. Um yeah, and I was lucky I was able to go, and um, I really enjoyed my experience. But it was really about like in that time, making you know, the connections and meeting other people who were like minded and creative and making music with them, working at studios in

turning all of that was super important. But I think, you know, if you have the luxury to go to school and it's something you really want to do, just finding a good like atmosphere, you know, finding a place that you feel like you can imagine making a lot of great memories at and a school that feels like in line with like in terms of a program that feels like who you are and that you'll find like minded people and also people that are not like minded

that will help you know, expand your perspective on life. But um, yeah, and he was. It was a great experience for me. I know, you interned out a lot of places and Brutland for a lot of people. What was the was memorable story you have from your interning days? Mm hmmm. I think probably there's two. One was standing in an elevator with jay Z when he's up and I just didn't say anything. It's like him in a

security guarden. I just stood there because like as an intern, you're like they're like, don't talk, like, don't talk to these people, you know what I mean. It's like just like shut up, like you know, I'm like, okay, fine, because I wouldn't even know what to say. In general, that was probably the craziest. Yeah, there's like pretty strict rules, like when you bring in the food, like don't say anything,

like don't like. I think it's actually nice, like I would feel more comfortable to be in the situation where it feels I mean, this is kind of why I don't love big studios because it feels so like formal to me. Sometimes I love working in my house because it's just like me, my friends, whatever, no rules, do whatever. How much of your album did you write in your house? Most of it? Yeah, I would say good, like sevent

it or something that's crazy. Do you have any I know you have crazy collapse on this album, like you bats, you a Lessia karl All incredibly talented people. If you could have any other person for the future, like nothing off limits, Drake, let's do some of that'd be so sick. Yeah. And then I'm just growing up with such a huge Coldplay fans, so I think it would be crazy to do something with Coldplay. Well, you're doing the band, so yeah, right,

he's gonna He's gonna be in the band. Okay, I know you've dyed your hair, and I actually like dyed in my hair purple. I don't know if you can see with this like it's fat, Yeah I could, I can see a little bit. Yeah, if you could dye your hair and other color, because I know you dyed it like a bunch of colors, I don't know. I'm kind of I think I'm over all the crazy colors. Honestly, sometimes I think I would maybe go back to a certain type of purple or blue if it was short again.

But I think I'm gonna grow out. I'm gonna see what happens as I grow it out. I don't know. Is it gonna become curly again? Do you think with blonde? I don't know. I mean probably if I let it grow keep being curly. I just don't want to go back to the curly brown hair. I want to do something different. So we'll see. You could always like do

a mohawk. That could be your thing. That could be crazy, or like you can die like a smiley face on your head, or like a blue leg m. H keep keep coming with the ideas, Okay, okay, I'll keep thinking. Do you have a favorite quote? Maybe you can put that on your head? WHOA, I don't know if I do have a favorite quote. Maybe just it's lit. That's a pretty good quote, I think so. I've actually when I can't turn my mind off, and I have like a list of quotes on my phone, and some are

so stupid and some are the best. But this one is like when I first heard it, it blew my mind. Okay already. It's anger is a punishment we give ourselves for someone else's mistake, Like I don't even know who said that, but so true. I don't know when I heard that. It just blew my mind and it gave me a different perspective on any Sometimes when I'm mad or something, I realize you have to look back and you're you're you're hoping that you're going to affect the

other person, but really you're just affecting yourself, you know. Yeah, I'm always really curious, like the process of things. And I think a lot of people they just see like a music and on and it's out and you don't realize the work that goes into it. So like, well, for sure, so like what is the process of creating a song? Because I'm always very curious because every artist is. Yeah, I mean for me lately, it's been a little bit

different than it used to be. Like it used to just be like sometimes on piano, sometimes on guitar, like I'll get a melody, or I'll be walking and I get a title, or I'll get a lyric, or I'll just be making a beat. But usually it's been like sitting with my friends, somebody else, one of my friends, um, Johnny starting like a beat, I pick up the microphone. I just freestyle stuff and then we're like, oh, that sounds really cool. And then I'm like, oh, so the

song is about this now? Like I never go in being like the song is about X y Z. It's sort of like playing around until like the music feels like the concept and I feel at all, and then I just kind of like flesh it out from there freestyle and stresses me out. Me too, I just started doing this here, But like the more you do it, the more fun it is and the better you get. So that's cool. The way I see, like the way lyric writing should be or the way I want it to be for me is the same way I'm having

a conversation with you. I'm not okay. I just said the word yellow, so I need to It's just the words come out of my mouth because they are the true words that I want to say, and I feel like That's what I'm trying to do with my new music. Is just here a chord progression or hear a beat and say whatever it is that I feel with a melody and then just go cool. You know, how how

long does it take to write one song? Would you say? Um, as short as like an hour and then as long as I don't know, a couple of months, I guess, but usually usually in like a few hour range. Yea, I asked us to a lot of people, but what do you want to your music to be remembered as in your legacy? Mm hmm. So I never really think about that kind of stuff because it freaks me out. I just focus on right now. That's what I try

and do. But I like to ask people. Yeah, I don't know, because I think by the time I get there, my answer is going to be so different, you know. I guess. I just hope that my music will always feel like it's evolving and that it's it's honest for whatever wherever I was at that time. Um, and yeah,

I think it's just genuine and evolving. Are kind of like the things that are important to me, and you know that, you know, I think includes this idea of like what's really important to me at least right now, and I imagine forever it's making music that that I think really connects to people in a vulnerable way. So, yeah, what's your goal for It's been a weird so far, it's been a very long A few goals for another album,

get a girlfriend only, if it's natural. Uh, but that's hard though, especially with Like I've been joking around with my friends and I've been saying, you know, if I find love in isolation, then I can write a book called Finding Love and in Isolation and that will be like just pretty tight. Well you should write it anyways, and that should be about self love, finding love about self love. That's pretty good. I feel like that could just be your next song. You can take real I'm

have to steal that. Okay, you can take it. Yeah, you'll get some percentage though. Okay, sounds good. Y Well, thank you so much for coming on my podcast. No, thank you, and thank you for all the questions. It's really good vibes. Thank you. I think what you're doing with music is so important. Thank you for talking about things that need to be talked about. Of course, I'm just doing what feels right. Thank you guys so much for listening to this week's episode. Make sure you listen

to how I'm Feeling. Check out the Blue Boys Foundation. Follow Loud on Instagram at loud Songs. You can also follow me on Instagram at j That's I P S S A S M Y j A Y. And if you haven't already, Please subscribe to the podcast and leave comment if you'd like. I'd love to hear your feedback, and I will see you guys next week. Bye.