52 Recognize Your Emotional Rollercoasters

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Well, Teoh family podcast where we believe you all fallible And what you do matters

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number 52. I am Justin,

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and I'm Shauna would

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How are you, honey?

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I'm good. How are you?

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Good. Were put. We're keeping Eminem's in business there in this cove in crisis.

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Maybe. So

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people have bags if I don't know what you bought baggies of anymore. But we bought baggies of Eminem's and even, like

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I know

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the two pails or whatever.

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They definitely Yeah. I have definitely added sugar back into the diet when we had almost eliminated. And why is that? Well, let me just tell you have been a little bit stressful lately.

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So this is recorded in the middle of the coverted thing, whatever this is that we're doing. Yeah, um and we're going talk today about

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we're gonna talk about. Like, for those people who have been on an emotional roller coaster, which spoiler alert is like the whole global population. Yes. Yes, check. But it's also really applicability for people going through job transition or, you know, moving into new location. There's lots of times that assessing our personal needs is Africa ble.

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So what are we talking about today.

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So we're gonna take a minute to look at Basil's hierarchy of means. Um, but on a like non technical term, it's when in our life we've been on an emotional roller coaster. So story for that.

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Yeah, it was a story. Claire flush

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this out this last week. I I'll speak for myself on Lee, have wanted to kill my spouse, have wanted to hide in the fetal position underneath the blankets, have wanted to kill my Children, have aspired to write a book, to start a new business strategy. To purge, rearrange and paint a child's room and have felt optimistic about the future.

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Right All within probably an hour.

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Yeah, so, like it's this continued high intensity changing of thought processes and emotions that go

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right and I'm I'm in the same boat pretty much I would say, Yeah, and I think all of us are going through highs and lows and we didn't We were like, Oh, well, it's just stressful, Whatever. There's a lot going on, but we've been in multiple conversations were basically different. People have now said, You know what? Basically, people are just in survival mode. Yes, and anyway through different conversations that kind of let us into this topic today.

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So for those of you who have not taken the introduction to psychology, kind of class masses, hierarchy is a like a triangle pyramid with five layers. And so the very bottom are your physiological needs. So, like air, water, shelter, clothing, all of those just basic things that every human needs to survive shelter then up above that our safety needs. So you need to feel like you're personally secure. But that also includes employment. It includes access to resource is it includes your health, your property. Next layer up is love and belonging. So that's your friendship in your family and that kind of thing. Feeling connected with others, Then you get up to esteem. So that's like your self esteem. You feel like you have good status. Your respected, then at the very top, is self actualization, like becoming the person that you've always wanted to be like the best. You you could be

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right, so the base and the foundation are your physiological needs, like just survival.

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So the idea is that you cannot attain the top layers like a mountain. You have to climb up. You have to get past those bottom layers before you get to the top layer. And so I think what's happening in this time and this is not just our personal experience. This is lots of conversations

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with people, very successful people in life,

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very high functioning people who are accustomed to hanging out of the very top of this mountain,

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right, right, because they've paid a price. In some ways

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they were hard. They've done all of these things. So but all of a sudden, with the health pandemic and with the economic crisis that has followed suit, people are finding themselves like not just sliding down a little bit, but like plummeting and crashing to the bottom. But then, like with their very next breath being back up higher, trying to do what's their normal and then plummeting back down. So, like, I just imagine, like almost somebody on springs, like being in these highs and low

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roller coaster. Definitely.

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And it's much more intense and it's much more frequent changes right then is what most people.

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But I think for the big shift for me this week as we talked through this, it's legitimate. Yeah, like you have legitimate concerns about air water food. Now, I think everybody has air to breathe. Right? I think that's okay. Water

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should be okay. Even the air, Like I found myself grocery shopping like somebody.

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That's true. That's true. Yeah, that's a good point. So maybe water. Um, but some people with food shelter with your shelter in your mortgage payment. Some people are really nervous about your rent, your granting mortgage sleep. We both talked about how we have just needed more sleep. And if I've got a couple of nights with less sleep, I've had a lot harder time. Just emotionally is dealing with life process of the news and everything else that's going on because everything is changing so quick. Um, in the next level, up below, the just the basic is your safety needs personal security. Employment resource is health and prosperity. So our property Sorry. So, like, health. I mean, that's a major one, right? Right. And you should be, like aware, Mike. Hey, I'm gonna have some common sense about this, But when you read the news and you hear all the dramatic headlines like, you're like, Oh, my gosh, don't have

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it now. Like, I think

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you're listening. Going? I've got it. I've got it now, you know, like, Oh, I'm coughing. You know, I mean, like, Oh, I've got allergies. I got a runny nose. Almost have cove. It send me to the ventilator. You know what I mean? It's like So anyway, those air like legitimate things now

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and then, how many businesses have had to lay off employees and, you know, it

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really save always all the safe jobs like, Oh, I will always have a job. People are getting, you know, far load rights. And it's like,

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What? Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm I'm hearing stories of people who have been working for the same company. There was a lady 28 years with the same company, and everyone in her position just got cut.

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Yeah, not like furloughed like

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like, done

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done. Don't you no longer work here

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and in America, there's a really good unemployment system, but it is being so over taxed right now, the people who have been laid off can't even process their

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paperwork, right? Right. So yeah. So anyway, those are all legitimate things, right? And we all need to be aware of them. I think this this week I'm like, Oh, okay. I can see if you're a visual person, which I'm not usually, but even just looking at this chart going Oh, yeah, Yeah. No wonder I feel stressed because these two foundational things were kind of being eroded right? Or at least the parents of being eroded. Right? So

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And I think particularly for people who have worked hard, who have, you know, processed through a lot of things who have are accustomed to being at the top of this mountain ous faras like they've got solid relationships and they feel pretty good about themselves. And, you know, they're working on achieving their dreams and that kind of thing. It's even more difficult, if you like, in a lot of ways,

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Right, Right, right. So it is very stressful for sure. So what do we do about what are some solutions?

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I think first is just being aware,

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right?

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Like just taking the time, looking up Maazel hierarchy on Google or whatever. Check just the visual, like you said, is like, OK, there there's a legitimate reason I'm not just going crazy,

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right, Right, right. And for me, That was kind of this past week I needed. I needed this just to look at it. Meal. Yep. Okay. I can I can face this, but I need to, like, shift my thinking, right. Like these are legitimate things. Because before, I was kind of writing about Well, they just can't, you know, whatever. I didn't have a good grid, right? I feel like this is my okay. This is a grid. Yeah.

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So number one be aware number 26 to 8 weeks to take you to become a new normal. So we would say, because we have added to our family biologically, we have also added to our family through foster care. And we would say, any time somebody new comes into your household, it's going to take you 6 to 8 weeks to find a new normal for

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your whatever that issue.

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And it's interesting because I thought that only applied adding family members. But we're now at that, like, six week mark in America. And I'm finding that people are starting to have some new normal,

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right? Right, right. Whatever. They

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made adjustments. And I think it's important for us to be aware that although this, you know, the health issue will pass. We're never going back to the way things

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were. And that's that's scary alone that put you right back into those to lower levels because you don't know if your work's gonna bay or, you know

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right there there's gonna be major changes that happen. So we have to in a lot of ways, I feel like we have to embrace these new normals,

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right,

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Because some of them are going to stick,

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right, Right. And so it is, like, you say, 68 weeks and forming new habits like the 70 days or whatever. How much of this? I heard it. Quite few, um, video or podcast. I came room now which But it's gonna be interesting to see sociologically how our culture reshapes because we've been doing these new things. Will people be like, Oh, yeah, well, just we have new habits now or will they be like, Oh, this was these old things were part of our culture. So we can't let go of them even like handshakes. Or, you know, it could be anything school education. It could be anything we don't know yet.

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I think we're going to see a rise in people who want to home school, their kids and people who want to work from home remotely. That could still be for business, not for themselves, but because I think some people are gonna be like, You know what? This was really rough in the beginning, but I've come to enjoy a lot of

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There's some things I have learned to like a lot, right? I didn't know that. Yeah, exactly. Or they realize, Hey, I can home school my kids, right? Like this is not that hard, right? Because they've had to

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had to do it. And not that, you know, that's gonna be everything. So certainly there are some things that we're gonna pick back up from the from the before this, right? Um but it's gonna be different. It's not gonna be exactly the same. And like it was

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right. So I think another thing is to write out and start executing some kind of plan. Yeah. Own these lower levels. So, for example, like food we went and bought When this first thing started, we didn't buy a ton of food, but we eat so much,

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we even ton of food

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Yeah, so I mean, we didn't like, but we had, like, we've grown out. Maybe what? Two months of food? Maybe it would be rough. Maybe a month of food. Yeah, maybe. I don't know, some amount of time of food. Right? We got. And I can't tell you how much that made me feel better. I was like, Okay, right. Like if everything goes to pot, will at least have enough food for us and some neighbors

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pasta and being

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Yeah, every meal, every male. But it's like we can survive, right? So that, um, the shelter we've been work you and your list of, like, all the kids. Like I was pretty content to, like, get our room done.

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You're like our rooms done.

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You No, no, no. We gotta We gotta help our kids now, Mike, uh, they're gonna be okay. They're gonna color on the wall. What? You paid the

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tail yesterday trying to help three of our boys with their

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room. And it looks great. It looks great. And they appreciate it. Yes. Oh, so that's kind of fits in our shelter. It's not, You know, our shelters intact. It's not, You know, the roof doesn't leak and all those kind of things, cause we we redid the roof right years ago,

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but I think, and we could go on a whole like thing on financial plans and that kind of thing. But, ah, lot of financial people will advise you to have some kind of rainy day fund or emergency fund where you have 1 to 2 months or more of expenses in the bank so that if something unexpected happens, you can still pay the mortgage and still keep the lights on. Still have water. Those kind of

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right, Right? Right. So we've also talked about shifts with business stuff, right? Like how you're running your business? Um, some different. You know, we just talked about a lot of different shifts that we need to make and you already have kind of made. But those were things. And I think just preparing and talking through, um, we're gonna have a bigger garden than we did last year. Right? And part of it has to do with this thing. Yeah, part of because we wanted to, anyway, because we had a really good garden last year, right? But part of it's like, you know, what? This would be just a really good time to grow more food,

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right? Yes, absolutely. So just a recap. You know, if you feel like you have been on an emotional roller coaster and that's not really normal for you, like I think that's not really normal for us. I mean, we do. Obviously. All humans have ups and downs, but I feel like the frequency and the intensity of the ups and downs lately has been magnifying

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right. Right and part of those things are in jeopardy. I will say this. We call it almost crisis mode because people are just in survival mode. But some people that were around in that everyone's around. This is how they live. They live in crisis mode because they don't really feel safe because of whatever. Uh, and they don't really know if all their needs are gonna be mad. And so they operate that way, right? You have kids at school that way. When I was a teacher, you have kids like that in public school, just, you know, you know you have kids who can't function at the loving belonging, self esteem level because they never get past the lower two levels, right? So I think it's also just good to be aware of and the stress even today on our own kids like we've been talking about. Oh, our kids are a lot more stressed. Right? Right. So we've just noticed that our kids are being more stress. So one thing to combat that Okay. I gave three Mohawks last night. Home cut Did shift their house. That it did. Yeah. Yeah,

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it was just kind of fun being purposeful about increasing run. All right, so if you guys have been feeling like you are also on the emotional roller coaster, it's good idea. Just pull up, masses hierarchy kind of Look at it. Be aware. Give yourself grace. Recognize that in really 6 to 8 weeks, we can formas humans new states that we call normal and start looking at a plan to make sure that you just have more peace about those bottom couple layers on the hierarchy. Thank you so much for taking time to listen and hang out with us. Remember, you are valuable and what you do matters. Feel free to connect with us. We would love to hear your comments on our website ls f podcast dot com on Facebook on Chyna's instagram account, which is Shauna Suri s a T R E would weigh hope that you have a blessed day.

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Thank you.