50 Stop this Negative Self Talk

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Well, Thio family podcast where we believe you all fallible and what you do matters

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things. Episode number 50. I am Justin and I am Shauna

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would How are you, honey? I am fantastic. Super excited that we're having episode number. No, that's good. We have done well with all the chaos of our life to crank out 50 50. Podcast is really good. Yeah. Now we have had some bonus are actually over 50. Well, that's true, but this is 50. Official, 50 official official. So thank you all for listening. Thank you all across the us And now we're getting people, like, all across the world. So it is exciting. Yeah. Here we go. So let's move on what we're talking about today. So we are talking about today overcoming negative self talk. I don't know what's wrong, Mountain. Yeah, I'm sure you've never had. So we all have a negative story in our head about pretty much everything. Right? And we tell it to ourselves all the time, right? And we are the star of that negative story right in that self talk. So you have a story about the negative talk story? Kind of. Yeah. So for Christmas This past year I wanted to take I wanted to get certified as a life coach because that's something that I just have always wanted to do, right? So that was my Christmas present, that I got this course. And of course, it takes a lot of time to work through all the different segments and do all the different work and all of that kind of thing. So I thought the cove it period would be the perfect time for me to do that along with redo the whole house and do extra business meetings and everything else, Right? So I've been plugging along on that mainly at night after everybody else is in bed and I came the segment. The class was on neuro linguistic programming, which I had never heard of before. Um, but basically, I'm going to give you all like the cheat sheet on how to process through this. I like, Yeah, I do, too. It's like the cliff notes. I sighed. Rabbit Trail totally cheated myself in high school because I would, like, always read the cliff notes instead of reading the chapter book. You were that kid in class. I was that I hated Theo every one of you, All because I always wanted to know. Like all that. Not I didn't want to know all the details, but I I like the process of learning the information. Obviously. No. Well, so this will not come as a surprise that while I was a great student, I mean, except for the fact I was using clip No, I was in lots of activities and I was working. Yeah, that was so I just didn't have the time. Right. Anyway, um, so you all get the cliff notes today. So this is what I want you to imagine. We all have times that in our head we hear some kind of negative thought, right? And a lot of times it's like I am stupid or I am Whatever other negative thing or like that was such a stupid thing to say. I can't believe you just said that, right? Kind of beat yourself up over any Beat yourself up over it or what's kind of even worse is when you're like, Oh, that was such a stupid thing to say. And then you start arguing with yourself with that voice With that voice. So then you like? Well, it wasn't stupid because that was what I was thinking at the time. Or like, you're, like, defending yourself. But then that only makes the negative self talk, like, kind of grow. Right, You know? Like what? The end. You still sounded stupid. Why did you say that? You should never say feeding the month. You should never, like, raise your hand again in the meeting and and share whatever. Yes, yes, yes. You just engage. It's like engaging a toddler, right? Yeah. Yeah, you cannot win. If you engage in two year old an argument and arguments, they will crush you. In the end, you will be so flustered and so ready to slam your head through the wall. Like like shift into two year old logic. Yes, or you wouldn't be so frustrated exactly. Because that little voice in your head doesn't necessarily have a logic or annoy argument. Well, it's probably defending a wound of a start over the past, but right now, I don't know that a lot of those roots are from, like early childhood, right? Okay, A little voice. So here's a strategy. Instead of trying to argue with the voice in your head We're going to try to find the voice in our head. So, like, even identifying when I hear that voice is it coming from my left from my right from above May from below me from in front of me Like what direction In my hearing, then literally to Paul Literally like causing and just trying to identify which direction the voices. Because when you said that when you told me that earlier Yeah, some time ago I was like, Oh, that voice is always like behind me a little to my left and that I'm here. I know it's so weird because when I hear that annoying voice, it's back there. Yeah, but when I hear and this is after, I have really, like, processed after you said that. Like when I hear a that good like solid voice is like in the center of me in my head, in the center of it, right? And that little annoying voices Larry like a little bit away from me, like a foot behind me, but right there near the back of my head. So then you ask yourself, like what does that voice sound? like Is that like a do booming voice, Like a high pitched voice that would be annoying. Like, what is that voice? What does that voice sound like when you hear it? And then what you're gonna do is you're gonna take that voice, destroy it? No, Instead of having that voice speaking to you, you're gonna like in your mind's eye turned that voice around so that it's predicting away from you, not towards you, right? The sound. So that's the first step. Like so, can you still hear the voice or you will hear it. But it's like not a It's not talking to you talking somebody talking to somebody else. Then you're gonna change the way the voice sounds. Okay, do something that is very like you can't take it seriously like Bugs Bunny voice. Okay, Can you do more like do a voice? I don't know, I guess No more food. I can't do it, but Or, like Yoda, like some other voice that you just cannot even take seriously. Right. Okay, so let's do this. Let's go back to you. Hear a voice in your head that basically says that was stupid. Maybe you just did something. Maybe it wasn't stupid. Maybe you were trying to be helpful. Maybe you're trying to be whatever but the the story in your hand or that was put into your head. They came from whatever that voice says. That's stupid, right? So what do you do with that voice? So now I have shifted that voice so that it's speaking a way for me. I think the first thing you recognize that voice, you recognize that negative Not necessarily the voice, but the negative words, the negative self talk. I think that's the hardest part because you immediately just start talking back to Was that stupid? You know, I just did. That was, you know, Yeah. Or I think most of time we just agree with it Way don't even like yeah, yeah, we just received. I've done things like I've been in a meeting, and then I volunteered something that I felt was helpful. I didn't know everybody else already had that information, right. So then I feel like I'm stupid because I was like, Oh, everybody else already knew that I was the last person. Understand? So that, like I'm stupid like, is the self talk that happened, and and then I put it in, like, you know, what kind of change? That voice, then I'm going to imagine, um, a song now music is so powerful We came across this first with 11 logic about you cannot be angry while you sing like you just can't do It s so impairing that crazy times that we got frustrated. Okay, Like, I'm just saying toddler years like it's a real thing and it's a real difficulty. Um, and so we would make up little songs. The times that are toddlers were throwing tantrums and we would just sing the song. You know what I always think that two year old, some two year old, some parents out there with a two year So if you were out there with a two year old this is the song we made up. It's hard to be too so hard to be too hard for me for you so hard to be do. And it was like that Totally deflated. Yeah, and even the two year old be like, Let me sing A verse ends and this was the best part is our kids got older. The older siblings would start to sing. Yeah, it would shift the room if you do. The same thing was hard. Three. It's hard. You just switch it hard for you and me. You so hard to be 30 right? OK, so we take that same idea that you can It loses power when you put it to music. Right? So stupid. You are, You know, Yoda voice. We're gonna put that to some kind of, like, symphony or some kind of happy birthday song or something like that. Yeah. Your voice in the Yoda voice? Yes. You know. So what? Do you do that for us? I don't think I can. I know it's hard. It's hard, it's hard. But, you know, Happy birthday to you, stupid. You are. You know, I don't know, like music. By the time you have done all four of those steps, like you identify it, you shifted away from you. You put it in a silly voice and you add music that thought you have a You have a Broadway production. That's what you got. It does not have the power in the sting. That's the thing. That's the point we're getting to that it had before. Yes, yes, yes. And so I really think doing those steps you like, suck the power out of that negative thoughts. And you probably don't want to do this during the business meeting. I mean, if you are not like me because everything shows up on my face and you could just process all of that, then maybe you could do it for me. I'd have to probably wait 12. Like in the car. Yeah, exactly. You should probably wait, But hold on to that negative thoughts so it doesn't grow, right? Yeah, the negative talk. So I don't know of anybody out there Ever watched Larry Boy in the rumor weed? It was a veggie tales show. But as the truth is told in that cartoon, this literal like giant weed shrinks down to this itty, tiny bit little thing that's easily plucked out of the ground. Okay, It went from being, like, taller than a skyscraper. Down to, like a really that you could pull out. Yeah, I remember that. I feel like that's what happens with this, right? Like you take this negative self talk, Mitt really is wounding and hurtful. Then you're able to shrink it down toe where It something so small that it's like that's not really a thing, right? Count gives you the tools to really reevaluate what really happened in that situation. Or you know what I mean in the ice understanding and said Because if you keep on to that, like, whatever we said, I'm stupid, right? Well, next time you go into that business meeting or that meeting with those people, you're gonna have that Yuck! You know what I mean? Like, you're gonna keep carrying that. So it's almost like this doesn't like it doesn't? This is you still have to deal with whatever issues air there, right? But it allows you a clear, clear thinking, a clear feeling so that you're not clouded. So it's not as toxic interpretation of what happened, right? Because you imagine that scenario in the business room. You walk back into that. If you walk back in with that yucky feeling, you're not gonna be on. You're not on your a game, right? Right, Right. But if you walk back in and like, you have that remembrance but that song and advance and that Broadway musical production you remember like this silly version. Yes, when it comes to mind again, then it's like, Ah, that was goofy. I can still show up and, like, perform like a rock star here, right? Exactly. That's good. So anyway, this was such a helpful nugget and tool that I learned in my class that I just couldn't even wait to share it right. And I think I think for me, the biggest thing is just being aware. And I guess, aware of just the talk that's in my head, whether it's negative talk or positive talk. But it's just like a lot of times there's it's kind of like a radio going on all the time, you know, like radio communication across my head all the time. But it's never like in check. You don't mean right like you just allow. So you watch something on Facebook and you see someone on Instagram, and then you go on YouTube and you're like, Man, my life stinks because you've built You know what I mean. So it's like we need to take those thoughts. Captain. Captain. Yeah, yeah, for sure. All right. Thank you for sharing your welcome. Thanks for going on the Broadway musical with me. I'm not there yet. Send you though, guys, I would love to hear if you do this, I would love to hear about your experience. I would love to hear about all of it. Like you're processing and all of it in the outcome. Please record the voice that

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you do it in the

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cartoonish voice and the song and dance. They're gonna put it on Broadway. I don't know that, but yes. All right, guys.

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Thanks so much for taking time out of your day to hang out with us. Remember, you are valuable. And what you do matters. Please connect with us. You can reach us on our Facebook page. You can reach us on our website. L s f podcast dot com or if you're feeling fancy, reach out to Shauna Sri would on instagram. Not just way. Famished Seo Blessed Day. Thank you.