Hello lesbians, No. I. Can't you gotta say hello, lesbians? You've gotta say it. What do I say? Hello lesbians. Hello, lesbians. Yeah. OK, I love it. No. I'm fucking dead. OK, first of all, so I have to preface this. I'm gonna introduce Nyla in a minute, but like, I have to preface this by saying that Nyla has told me that it gives her the fucking ick to Holder Mike. She's really upset about this and I'm really sorry. I want to apologise on behalf of me. The community.
I'm going to get the community. Everyone needs to apologise to Nyla right now, but we needed to hear your voice. Therefore we need a fucking mic. Yeah, just OK. No, I'm going. To have to keep moving this mic. There we go. Closer. No, but Nyla, we've got a very special guest with us today. It is. Well, you go by Michelle Nyla. Yeah, on Instagram everybody always approached me with Michelle. Well, wrong name. Can you, can you be surprised that they're approaching you with Michelle? I am.
It's your first. Name. Who would choose the worst name like you always choose about her? Name. It looks like Nayla as well. So for so long I was saying Nayla. Yeah, I've really fucked this on so many different occasions. I've literally only just asked you today, like what's your name? What's your name? What's your name? Actually, what's your name? You never have a good friend where like you have both that's knowing their last name, knowing their job or having photos together.
Yeah, that is one thing that I would say we. Don't have pictures? Together. No, exactly. That's what I mean. We didn't know your name. The list goes on. Nya is a content creator. You are incredible by the way. Like so fucking good. Like I'm in awe of everything that she does. I also would say that just trying to set up this setup right now with the light was giving. She knows what she's doing and then there's me that doesn't know what she's doing. I. Brought all the goods.
Running around and I mean, how long have you been doing Instagram and TikTok for? I don't really know about TikTok because it used to be musically and I used to upload really like little funny clips like it didn't feel that serious. It still doesn't feel serious to be honest. I struggle to take it seriously. Like TikTok is just like whenever I have the shits and giggles, I upload something, yeah. I think.
Yeah, you should usually upload the same thing that you do on Instagram on TikTok. Well, I don't fit that category. No, we are not consistent over here. We are not consistent but still it works. Which is really good. If you want to give people like a bit of a lowdown as to like who you are, what's your main purpose? The reason why I do social media is kind of I want to feel like somebody has the biggest sister
they never had. That kind of takes away all these big feelings about their body and that they should just exist along the value of their body. Because growing up I seen that so much with my mum and it's still taking away so much of our lifetime. And I found that exhausting for myself to see and be around there and as well exhausting for her because there is so much potential outside of the value of your body.
And I wanted to have an account where everybody feels like it is possible to exist in a bigger body and have bigger dreams and achieve things and dream and have friendships and all that and have a partnership and feeling valued beyond that. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's beautiful. I mean, I think you do it so well because I obviously, I mean, I saw your content like year years ago. I think I've followed you for I've stored you for ages.
I finally got you. I saw I stored you for ages and then it wasn't until like I know that you followed me back. I don't know why. I think it's because you're a base sexual. I've followed you for ages and I always loved your content because I found it really, really inspiring. Like I love the way in which you don't give a fuck. Like you genuinely just don't give a fuck, which I do love because also, why the fuck should you give a fuck? That's more of what we're trying
to get at here. It's like you, I think the way in which you put yourself out there and it's such a positive light as well. You're hot and you've got this like you've got this personality that shines through. But This is why I also really wanted you on the podcast as well, because you don't usually. I don't talk. You don't talk. You don't hear me talking. I feel like I'm so much better in person.
What this is what I mean. So when I I'd followed you for all that time and then I was at Meisi Hoopla last year and you were in the VIP bit with me and I ran over and I was like, here's the girl. I've been following her for years and I like saw you and I honestly as soon as I started talking to I was like, oh, this is a funny bitch. I had no idea that you were this funny and. Then I knew how funny you were. That's why I follow you, because it was like she's like my type of person.
Oh, thank you. Yeah, you. You don't give a shit. I also don't. Give a I like this a lot. I just can't put it on the gram the same like I feel like you do it so authentic while I struggle with that because I bounce off people more. I think, I think it really does just depend on what format it's in. You know what And like I, I feel like with you and with me, we both have started and been on like a social media journey because of a very similar reason, even though it looks different.
Does that make sense? So it's like, I want to be the voice and the person that I never saw when I was growing up that like needs to make sure that this is OK and you're doing it, but for a different reason, right? I love that. And I definitely could have done with you too when I was growing up because I was so self-conscious. Like I had so many issues with my body and we were in like the Kate Moss era of like, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels like I'm.
So back in that. And we're so back in that because we're zempic, which we'll get into as well. But there is this whole thing of like, yes, skinny is better. Nothing like you. Your worth is all tied to how skinny you are. And to be fair, even now I will think to myself, if, especially if I'm upset about something, I'll think to myself, well, I'm going to lose more weight and this is going to be better. I'm going to feel better.
Let me do this. Let me like not eat or let me like, you know, And that's really bad and I have to stop myself from doing that and I don't do that, but like it's almost like a knee jerk because of what we were fed. So it's really. Hard to not have that with when you constantly hear everybody doing the same behaviour to not have the same pattern I think. 100% and I think in the UK, I mean, what was it like in Sweden? Wrong country. Swedish.
No, not. Swedish, but I've been calling you Swedish this entire time, no? I've trust me, I would be holler now you almost like Swedish people are one of the hottest people that ever walked. This is actually fucking embarrassing. I'm like Swiss and German. Wow, I take it I I believe I celebrate all the Swedish celebrations like Midsummer crayfish festival. Maybe I use context clues and you've got like the skin of a Swedish person that you're glowing. OK, So what was it like in
Switzerland then? So was that like a similar? I think the reason why I'm don't live in Switzerland anymore is exactly that they're still the same mindset as it's never changed I feel. I think that's probably the worst I feel within myself. I love the country so much and I love the values we have and everything. But whenever I'm there, I see parents pointing at me, telling their kids that's that's why they shouldn't eat.
What? Yeah. And people come point blank, come up to me and they say the rudest stuff. And even when they don't tell your. Face, Yeah. Like I would be a dinner and there would be people talking about me eating. Oh my God. That I always. Like that actually makes you so angry. And I was even gonna make a joke and then I couldn't because it actually made me feel really angry because I was gonna say when you point over and be like, see, that's why you shouldn't eat.
They do that to me, but they go see, that's why you should eat pussy. But no, no, this is no, this is fucked up. This is really, really fucked up. Well. I feel like that's been. I had no idea it was that bad over. In Switzerland, I feel like maybe it's my experience. I can't speak for everyone else, but that has been my experience in Switzerland. I'm so sorry. Yeah. And I feel like when as a country, Switzerland, you have to imagine Switzerland is such a healthy country.
Like we move a lot, we swim to work, we swim after work, we bicycle everyone everywhere. We eat seasonal, we try to eat something called Demeter, which is even better than bio food. So we take such great care of our bodies and the way of life. It's not so much they grotesque out by the way I look. It's more like, what do you do different? It's like I don't have the same lifestyle because I exist in this body even though I have the same lifestyle.
Even though you literally work out more than me. Differently. So yeah, they can't really understand it and I don't think they want to understand it because as well all the companies where you could shop close on. I can simply not shop like there is no shop where I could buy clothes, maybe like an oversized store, but in the shops generally don't have this size range. Like when I moved over in the UK, I felt really normal. Yeah.
Like I know everybody speaks about existing in a bigger body here and being here. There's. Definitely nothing more about. That yeah, when you come from a country where it actually had such a big impact because there are so little people of your size, especially young people. We have bigger people in older ages, but not so much young people. Okay, I didn't, I really didn't know it was this bad, but I but I can imagine it.
I think what really interests me about the fact that you just said that though, is that, you know, you kind of escaped this country so that, you know, you weren't feeling so judged then thinking one, you're fucking brave then to put yourself online, you know, in that sense. But I feel like, do you feel like it's more, this is the way that I would interpret it.
You can tell me if I'm wrong, but it's more in the sense of like, but it's more in the sense of like you're then actually serving a purpose by putting it online because you're like combating something. Whereas I feel like when you're just trying to exist your everyday life and you're getting fucking points and stares and comments, do you feel like
that's the difference? Like. I feel like now it probably is because I see the purpose and I see like the aftermath of it and how many lives are affected by the things I do in a positive way so it holds more value and more importance. While before it was just a space of expression because I just didn't fuck with the people to be honest that didn't like me or had something to say about me and I just lacked the way I look. I like the way my body feels right now.
It's probably the worst I ever felt in my body because of the ability of my body can do. But before I never felt limited because. You had that disc problem. Yeah, like I had the disc problem. I have like the PCOS, there's so much health stuff going on, so that's why I don't feel good in my body. But before all that, I've been in a good body. It never limited me. I would jump down a plane. I would hike down, hike down. The fuck? I would hike up a mountain. I would swim for hours.
I would bike to in the winter to school. Like, yeah, it was fucking hard, but I did it. Like you've literally just lifted me as if I weighed nothing like because. You don't. You are super fucking sure like you're way. Yeah, I would say like isn't to look at like you and I, I would know for a fact that you are fitter than I am. Like I don't work out like I actually don't do not barely. Well, I'm always like walking around. No, but I'm always. Yeah, I don't walk.
If you walk with me somewhere, I will be a kilometer behind you. Although I, I do walk, I walk a lot. I, I do work out sometimes, but like I used to go to the gym. I haven't been going to the gym more recently. I'm very just active. You've seen me. I'm fucking scatty bitch. Like I'm moving all the time. So I think it's a bit of that and like I, I, I think I've got a bit of like muscle memory just based on like what, And also shagging. Shagging helps a very active
shagger over there. We've we've coined strap bleaks, which is where your obliques come in, but it's from the strap. It's like the the strap bleaks. Yeah. New term, new terminology for the lesbians, your strap bleaks. But yeah. I've had that before. Well, no, no, you do because it's just been invented. But what I was gonna say like when you're so when you're putting it online, because one thing that I've noticed that you do get hate comments, right?
And people love this is one major thing that I want to talk about because it's like people love to talk shit online. But what I did notice that they talk even more shit when you post something about what you've eaten, which is healthy or about you working out. And isn't it fucking ironic because these cunts always like, I'm just thinking about your health. No, you're not.
Because actually, when I upload something that's healthy, but I don't look the way that you want me to look, you're you're even more of a cunt to me. So pick a lane, right? And like these anonymous accounts. And if they're not anonymous, they're so. The amount of videos that are made out of my videos. So like fitness trainers make videos with my videos to.
Get views. And sometimes it's very positive and sometimes it's negative, but it feels very performative in a lot of ways because I feel like it's always, they raise the question if that could be of value of what I have to say or what I do because of the body I exist in. Fucking hell. So it's like me not dieting 24/7 or fasting. And I'm saying that is because your cortisol goes up in the morning, blah, blah blah. No, I'm just justifying overeating.
Like there is always a combat to whatever I have to say because of the body I exist in. And to be honest, I don't really care because I think if you live for everybody else's opinions, you will never have a life that fulfills you. So all these comments a make me money be the I don't I couldn't give less of a shit about it because if you come up to me in real life, I will have something to say to you. And if you don't value what I say to you, then you're not my
person. And simply you took more time out of your life than I'm taking out of mine because you only have so many minutes on this planet. And I'm going to use them good. Yeah, fuck yeah. Yeah, that's why you're off to Panama tomorrow. That's why I'm off to Panama. No, no, you said it beautifully because these people as well, I mean, I'm not being funny anyone. And if you're listening to this and you are that person that does shit like this, I know for a fact you ain't got a fucking life.
Like you have not got a life, you know, and, and it all stems from insecurity. But what makes anyone think that it is OK to fucking do that? Like to me, it's insane. I've I've lived in many different bodies and one thing that made me feel really sad was just the difference in how I was treated as soon as I lost weight. Like, do you? Feel different? Oh my God, babe, when I because I used to be AI used to be a size 22 and. Oh, same size as. Me. Look how she went, though.
So here's Freya from the past. I'm interviewing past me. Oh my God. I was also bisexual then too. Ohh look how the crumble this is. Your future, honey. Ohh, Lord. But that's the thing, it was like, I was, I was younger. I was like I and I, I had so many, so many different things going on. I mean, mine was very different. I mean, I, I was going out and I was like boozing it like really, really badly. So I was really unhealthy because I really wasn't nourishing my body properly.
I wasn't exercising and I was drinking loads of shit. OK, Like I'm talking like 8 pints of cider was easy, easy down the gutter. And now I'm like 2 pints and I'm out like I'm very not cider either anymore. But like I, it's like I, so I've actually, I've, I've experienced both, like I've experienced what it's like to be on the larger end of the scale and like how I was approached, how people speak to me, how men specifically would talk to me.
And then the difference in just the respect level going up when I lost that weight. We're talking quite a bit further back in time. So I don't know if maybe things, I mean, I'm hoping that things have changed now. This was very no, OK, it's fucked up. It's fucked up. I think there is. I think with men generally, and there's other sexualization with bigger women, I think. I had that sometimes. I had a lot of sexualization. Yeah, my tits were huge.
Just not respect them or like just, I don't know, I feel like there is no value in you if you're not sexualized as a big woman. For a lot of man, when it comes from a woman, it's different. It's always a confidence yeah when it comes to a man fucking fuck that get run over. But yeah, no, I agree they'll do that on purpose because they'll sexualize to justify your worth. Yeah, and I feel like a lot of men feel embarrassed about it or curious about it.
I feel like it's like the taboo to like a bigger. Woman. But a woman's body is a woman's body. I'm sorry like. Ultra femininity, isn't it? The bigger of guys see it as like feminine, like curves and all that. So like when you are bigger, bigger as the spectrum, it's like the ultra feminisation and it feels like a taboo. So lots of men, I want to explore it even though they're not into it or they into it and I don't want to admit it because there is the general taboo about it.
Because The thing is for me, like if I was like a bigger girl and I'm like, she's hot. I'm like, well, she's hot, she's mine, she's hot. Like this is this is who I'm with. Do you know what I mean? But that. It's much from your inner confidence, Yeah, Because you are confident with who you are. I feel like it says more about the person. I think because like how you said, people tie their worth to how skinny they are, a lot of people tie their worth to who
they're with. The amount of the amount of stickers that we're gonna make from this video alone. Do you know the amount of fucking stickers that Nyla sends me actually on the? Sticker cream if there is an emotion I have a sticker for. It no she does. Like there'll be like 5 different stickers that come rolling afterwards and it's usually just me. Like saying that I've done something ridiculous just for your entertainment. Yeah, I love it. I live for a fryer's life. Yeah, you do.
You do. And you're free. But I feel like men are crazy. Obviously. That's a given. Do you feel like you get more hate from men, or do you feel like you get it more from women? Or do you feel like it's quite equal? I probably get more hate from men, but I get a lot of hate from women that are married. Really. Yeah, and a lot of time they're religious, but what religion? Whenever I check their profile, they usually tend to be. Why is it religious in the mum? Yeah, it's a Bible verse
usually. And they usually taken like it never usually comes from a woman that exists in the normal body and has like just a single life. It's normally like someone that's super extreme super Botox up, super like, like feels like they have to have the body that everybody expects them to have. And so therefore they project a hatred onto. You. Yeah. So I usually have that, or I have mums, or I have religious women or like wives. There's no hate. I don't really read for them that much.
Like there was one time and actually affected me and I had to turn it off and that was when you know what is it called The Shade Room shared me and which is like the biggest platform in America. And it was like a fashion Nova ad I did and they re shared a video because they paid them to it because I always think of the rights away. And on that video there was like millions of comments. And usually I would say I have like 60% positive and then 40% negative. And then as time goes on, it
usually goes more into negative. But then I don't check anymore. I just see the cookie crumbling, which is money, so it just comes in the more they hate me. Yeah, literally. Keep on hating. Actually. That's the moral of the story, actually. Actually, if you've got any bigots in your family, tell them to go onto Nyla's page right now and we'll get some money.
Sentence affected me because it was just negative and it was like stuff like if I would sit with her on the plane, I would rather bomb the plane and let everybody die instead of her existing on this plane. I'm sorry that. Was. No like. Fantastic thing I've ever fucking heard. Fucking wild shit. No, but that's so dumb like that is. And I was about to go on a plane that day. What the fuck?
Yeah, it was bad. Like it was such like ridiculous comments how my partner should be embarrassed about me and my friends are just like pretending to be my friends. And it was like they tapped into actual insecurities that are usually strength. So like when I go on a plane, I do feel nervous sometimes of a fit in the seat. So them talking about that and then talking about how I'm going to die and how all my friends are just like friends with me so they feel prettier and stuff like it was.
I was a lot younger by the way, I was like 20 or something. So it hit it a bit different by now. I wouldn't give a shit, probably. Well, you just go back and be like I would just you would just go back and be like, well, that's funny because I actually don't sit next to anyone on a flight because I'm in business class. Not with you in a quantity a little bit They no. I'm I'm usually on a EasyJet flight for £20 babe. Those haters don't need to know
or I'm getting desperate. They don't need to know. You can just go back and be like see you in first class then come. No, like it's not that bad. It's I feel like what helps when you have haters online is when you have hardship within family. I think my parents prepare me for the worst time. So basically. What we do to combat troll is more. Trauma. Yeah. My parents prepare me like I know what it feels like. Do not feel welcome in the body you exist in.
So that has changed over time because they wolved over time. But it's been a battle since. I think I've been confronted about my bigger body since I'm four years old. So what they have to say I probably heard before. So it was pretty rough growing up with them then in that space. Yeah, I feel like it's, it was rough for them because.
No, I mean rough for you. Yes and no. Like I've yes, at times, but there I feel like it was rough for them because everybody had an opinion about my weight and my parents were quite young. So they were like 1719 when they had me. Oh yes, I'm so many, everybody says something about your child and oh, it's not healthy. You should do this, you should do that. And it was like everybody's opinion weighted down. And then I don't think my mum's insecurities helped.
So she I think a lot of times she projected my value with hers. A lot of moms do that. It's the same with the gay thing too. Yeah, 100%. My mom has to say, well, I have to come out too. Is she gay?
No, but this is what I mean. It's like tying a worse and like tying, like being like, well, you're doing this and you are me. Like you're like an extension of me, you know, and like, I, it sounds very similar to kind of how I was raised, but for the gay thing, you know, and like, but again, why I feel like I deal with hate quite well. You know, if I get hate comments and stuff, I I mean literally whatever. And I know that it's not on the
scale of what you get. I mean, you've got a lot more followers than me. I can only dream to have as many haters as you, but I dream. Was shared. No, I want good people on that page. I think. A bag, motherfucker. But I feel like I like that was a very, very similar thing to like the whole gay gay situation, you know, like you grew up in a, in an instance like that. So now when I, when I do get homophobic comments, whatever that happens, I'm like, well, I've already heard all of them.
Like I've been resilient. We're so done. I was so resilient and like, you know, like, I don't know what it was like in Switzerland, but being gay was an insult over here. So like at school it was like, that's so gay. So like you'd say, oh, like what would you say was gay? But like something's a bit lame. So that oh, that's so gay. Like cringe. I feel like cringe worthy. We wouldn't maybe say that, but not so much in the actual context of gay. Maybe I've not experienced. I don't.
I feel like I experienced my first gay friendship when I was about 1516, so until then I've not met someone gay. Not until again now. I feel like I'm the mother of the gay man. I mean, look at you. You are. Look at me. You are like, I feel like the fats and the gays go together hand in hand. It's like it's been written by
the gods. So yeah, I, I don't think it's been so much an insult because we haven't been confronted with it. But I don't know if that's because of where I grew up. It's been quite like, rural, like I've been on the border of Germany. So also I went to a German school. OK, cool. Yeah. And when did you so to like reel it back as well? Like when did you actually start creating content? Like what kind of was the turning point for you?
And when did it go well, where you're like, oh, I can actually do this for my job? I don't know if anyone remember, it's the time of We Hearted and Tumblr where everybody did these like creative photo shoots of where they would do like bubbles, you know, when they blow bubbles. What is it? With like with that bubble gum, and they're back. No. I don't mind. Bubble gum. This is me doing bubble gum. What the fuck is my problem? The fuck is wrong with that You? Do you put your tongue out?
Don't when you do it. That you took and put your tongue in other things. Hey, God. Can't even say otherwise, I got nothing to say. I got nothing to say no when they would paint their faces and stuff. And I always loved being creative. So me, my best friend at the time, we would do it all the time. We just take pictures of each other and it was like a fun thing. Like we were obsessed with it.
We literally wouldn't meet up for an idea and find a spot on where we could take pictures before Instagram was really a thing. Like Instagram was an app, but it was not. The influencer world didn't really exist. The algorithm uploaded and we had fun with it. Like that is kind of the friendship that we existed in. And then I met a friend from America and she did it as a paid job. And that kind of opened up my eyes to, oh, that is actually
possible. And from the moment I knew it was possible, I knew I was going to have it. Like there was no debate of. It like yeah, even if you don't even know it's possible, it is I. Got it, I got it. So I worked like I literally done. I studied for a while because my parents wanted me to study, and I stopped that. Then worked for a model agency because that was always my dream job. My dream job was to be a scout and a model agent, and I was that for a while.
This is really interesting. I didn't know this about you, Carrie. That was always my dream job and with that I worked for another company that did like fashion shows and then influencers were more of a thing. So I was the one that was inviting all the people and like I clicked with everyone really well.
And then from there I just kept posting and these people kept posting me. So it created more curiosity and I feel like I had a lot of people following me or watching me because what I did was so different to where I was from. Because everybody else is very comfortable and there is no need to put yourself out of comfort zone because we have a very good life there. Like you can have a normal job and you have a great life. Like you don't need to put yourself out of your comfort zone.
Whereas over here we're like, we need 5 jobs, two side hustles just to survive. Yeah, yeah. So it's kind of like that. So I feel like a lot of people were curious of what I was doing. And then I moved to Yeah, I had. For me, this list is long. So I did a waitress job for two weeks and moved back with my parents after I quit the job in the model agency. I did the waitress job for literally 2 weeks at the time and then travelled for two weeks and took all that money.
So every time I travelled I produced content and literally three months later I decided to move to Barcelona. And then the day I landed, I had signed my first contract. Fuck yeah. Because I knew I was going to have it. It's so weird. Like I feel like everybody always talks about manifestation, but I think it's just Lulu enough to believe that you have it and. That's basically what manifestation is by. It's like, no, I have it. Yeah, I always say this all the time.
I'm like, I have it. No, I will have that. It does work. Like manifestation is a huge, huge thing, but I think as well because you're like putting out the energy that you've already got it. So therefore they want to give it to you like it kind of makes. Sense that's what I feel like a lot of my life has been like. I decided it was going to be like that and it happened, which is very lucky in a way. Also, your content is really like, I'm obviously not saying this as your friend.
Like it is really, really good and it is very empowering. I know that like even just like me, I know that I have a different body, but I still feel good watching it because I'm like, I'm feeling more confident about myself because I think that no matter what size you are as a woman and as a man, but whatever, you're going to feel insecure at like different points of your life. And it does. It's it's ingrained because. It's a constant. It's ingrained and it's always like everybody.
Always talks about the body. Everybody always talks. I'm, I'm exhausted by it. Like, like in the sense of like why? Why is there always a new thing that you've got? And now obviously we've got Ozempic, which like, how has this affected you? Has. This affected do you think? I feel like it affected my career in sense of brands are not pushing to step out of their comfort zones to work with bigger people. So I have noticed that.
I feel like since Monjaro as well has come into it, obviously a lot of people take it, a lot of people around you take it and everybody is autonomous to make those decisions. The only time it really affects me is when I see people that live in healthy bodies making these choices because they live in an unhealthy mindset. But then there is people that take it, that live in what we would declare as healthy, but they're not the healthiest and they take it and they feel so
much better. And these are the people that trigger the thought of, oh, should I do it? Because I constantly go to the doctor about issues that I have. And all I ever hear is this is going to be the fix for all all your problems in your body. And yes, scientifically it would be. But I don't want to depend on something. It scares me. And it scares me how many girls feel the need to give in because I know I'm I'm in a strong mindset about it.
Even me wobbling from time to time affects me because I know how many other women would feel so in like had despair with themselves. 100 percent, 100% and I think that what it does is it puts on another pressure to women. Ozempic yes, OK, great. Alight.
Manjaro, great. If you feel like you want to do that, you feel like this is going to help you, whatever it might be. But it's one additional thing now which also other people can use against you too to be like well, you could just go on the job. But then even if you did go on the job then. Oh, you just did it because of the job. Like there is no winning. Yeah, they're like, well, you're actually a lazy piece of fucking shit and actually you did want
to lose weight this entire time. You weren't happy in your body, yada yada yada. Like it will come. It will come with so many different things that. There is. No winning, therefore, when there is no winning, you have to do exactly what it is that you feel like is right for your body because it doesn't fucking matter what these pricks have to say. And and it does obviously it makes me it makes me cross that this is the, this is the life that we're living right now.
And that is what's kind of brought back the heroin cheek, like the cheekbones are sticking out the hip bones. Make sure they're out, make sure the skinny jeans are on like whatever. It is. It's not gonna be trending long because now it's achievable. Like I think there is like a thing about trend prediction, obviously, and that happens with our bodies. As soon as something becomes economically available for the people that are of poorer class or like have no money, let's say
it like that, the trend shifts. Trust me, as soon as you will be able to afford it, the trend will shift and it will shift into and people already. Doing that because they're doing black market shit. Yeah, it's shifting into Wellness and fitter and stronger bodies. This is going to be the next thing. And I do think then it's going to be hard to attain. So not only do you lose fat, you also lose muscle.
And when you have lost that, it's obviously it takes you a lot more strength to retain or regain that muscle to then follow another grand trend. And the moral of the story is, just don't follow fucking bodies. There is always going to be a trend that's always going to change. You just need to love the body that you're in and do what's best for that body to achieve the dreams and things that fulfil you.
So if you think Monjaro is going to help you to exist in a body where you can hike, and if you're strong enough to do that, or you can like party without feeling exhausted, you can have meals with your friends without feeling guilty. And I think as well. That's the right decision.
I feel like any a decision like that just needs to feel best for you and not around body trends because they're always changing and you're always going to chase something and then you're going to chase something for all your life, which is quite sad. Yeah, you're just running and running and running and running and constantly yeah, 100% bitch. So I so obviously you're on a lesbian podcast now that you know that, right? You don't know what happens on this podcast when the lights.
Go down apart from 1 scene that we. Won't talk about it soon. So you've mentioned to me before that you're bisexual and I know that this is not something that you put out online either. I mean, I know that you've got you've got a partner. So like you've got a, you've got a male partner. So I feel like, do you feel that stopped you from opening up about your sexuality online or is it more the fact that you're like, well, I'm already doing
one thing? I don't know, I never really felt like I needed to put it out there because I didn't feel like I existed in a gay enough. So fun. Yeah yeah. Dick I I don't know, I always felt like when I would go to a gay club, I always felt like I was going with my gay friends, even though I'm gay myself. So yeah, I never really felt like something that will. It felt nearly too vulnerable to have put it out there because I don't even know where I belong in that spectrum.
Does that make sense? But I feel like in, in a way to discover where you belong is putting yourself within it, you know? And that doesn't mean fucking. I mean, I've tried, I tried before. Before I was with my boyfriend, I tried dating girls because I knew I wanted to date girls and it just went. It didn't go well and I left me over a year of suffering. I mean, welcome to the lesbian. Experience yeah, welcome. I just, it just didn't even happen for me.
So I felt like I didn't want to change the like I love existing feminine, I love all that. And I felt like I would have to change myself in order to be seen and accepted or liked and I didn't want. That you're looking at me right now. Like, I mean, I'm, I'm not as feminine as you are, but like I exist in a feminine way and there's a lot of other feminines as well. This goes like completely against. There is just such a trope and a stereotype of lesbians that you
have to look a certain way. Do you still feel like you would feel too feminine to exist in that space? No, I don't think it has so much to do with my appearance now. I feel like now it's more like, I don't think I would feel confident enough to make the approach if I were in that space because I respect women so highly. So I just I panic. Basically. I gave man it's just so easy like there is not a lot in their
heads. I'm not, my partner is fine, but the rest of the little bugs out there, it's not like I just don't think a lot of them. So find it very easy. Well, when you think so highly of a specimen, which is women, it's quite hard. That's really interesting. Do you feel like a part of that has to do with your femininity or do you think that it's due to like lack of experience?
Like what is it? I mean, because you're saying that it's about the other woman and it's about the respect and it's kind of stuff, but is it more so because you respect them more that if you were potentially rejected it would hurt more? Whereas with manual I fuck off. Not like it would happen anyway, but you know what I mean. I'm not no interesting because I don't. I feel like you're asking me questions I've never asked myself. I have experience.
I have experience. I don't think I have the experience that I wanted. Like I never dated a girl. I've never been in a relationship with a girl. When I was at the stage where I opened up to the idea of actually being in a relationship with a girl was quite late, while before I was always sexually attractive, really strongly to women. So my first few experiences always been with women and then later on went into man and I happened to be in relationship with a male species.
All of them, all of them. So and it just never happened to me that I met someone where it actually like clicked and I felt that mutual as well. Connection. Yeah, Minds. Did you feel though that like, you know, you were saying that when you when you were growing up as well, that you felt so different and you know, you were said and it was talked about. Do you ever feel like your sexuality came into play with that as well?
Because you're like, well, not only are they judging me for this, but also they don't know this other thing that I'm not wearing outward, but it's in me. Yeah, in a way I feel the least confident in the room full of women. Really. Yeah. Like I feel less confident in a room full of women than a room full of men. And when I'm a room full of men, I fully, it's good. That you're in a room full of women. Yeah, shaking, shaking. Like if I choose the woman and always say I know them, I'm
fine. But like the female gym is my personal hell. Like you would never. Get your biggest up. Yeah, because I feel like it's the space where I know there are such such complex thoughts about bodies and stuff and they're always projected.
So I just don't feel really safe in that space because I always had the most experiences in physical form when I've been confronted about my body has always been with a female or female member of my family so. So it's a bit more triggering, yeah, and maybe more of an expectation that you might be putting on to them, even though they might not even be thinking it. But This is why I need to get you to one of our lesbian Why nights, like so bad Because I
feel like exposure therapy probably do it. But I think in a sense of like, because even if you are, you know, even if you have a boyfriend, it doesn't mean that you are not allowed in queer spaces because you are a queer woman. And I want you to be able to feel accepted and be in a space. And I think that it's only by doing those things that will allow you to open up your mind to then be like, oh, actually that felt good, you know, and,
and I can do that. And and I know that it's really daunting for like multiple, multiple reasons, but it's like women and you and the way in which you can still discover your sexuality without necessarily like being sexual with somebody else. It's like a journey that like maybe it's like untapped for you. Like it's something that you can like discover. And I think that that would be a really exciting thing for you. I know you'd be the biggest fucking slut ever.
So God forbid. What do you think that? I mean, I feel like you would thrive in that environment. And yeah, you've been so nice to be like, I'm actually looking forward and I'm gutted that I never made it because I feel like I've never been in a gay space where I felt like I was there for myself or representing myself. Because I always felt like I had all my gay mates with me and I just felt like I'm just the gay Mama. Like I never felt like I was there for me even though I. Share. Yeah.
But like, but you need to now be in a space where you do feel like it is for you. Yeah. Like I'm old enough. You're old enough. I'm old enough now. It's time, but I feel like you yeah, you would thrive in it and we would all love to have you there. I think that what is really nice about this community as well as that it is so accepting, I think especially with the with the queer women, because we. Feel like you're the king of the fucking queers.
You have such a nice community and I think that is very much missing. Or is that? We have a nice community, woman. Come on, you're already saying. We. Yeah, we. We have a nice community. No, but it's like you're in it though. Like we have a nice community, you know? OK. That that baffles my brain now, no. Well, so you look at me, including you. Thank you. But I do think, yeah, that's. What you're doing your job? Kind of I'm semi just like lesbian mum. I always go to your lesbian
mother speaking. I do genuinely feel like a lesbian mother sometimes but it's nice to spread the gay. But I think the legs spread the legs. Spread the legs. Quote from Fryer. It is really nice to spread the legs and maybe 2026 ends is spreading legs more, closing lips, spreading legs. Please guys, do it for me. Just do it. Tell me all the stories. So neither can live. I live through. Write it in so I can talk about it on the podcast and then just you can listen to it and just
cry in a corner of the summer. There was one thing that you you could say to maybe like a younger you that, you know, when you weren't so confident and was in the space that you're in, like what is it that you think that you would want to leave them with that's. Hard. I feel like I've always been. That's probably the biggest struggle for me is I've always felt quite confident, but like the only space I haven't felt confident is probably the career space. And I'm still to explore that.
But I think allow yourself to exist in places that you don't feel like you belong and explored the possibility that you could potentially belong, or not only belong, but also lead the motherfuckers. I agree. Yeah, it's fucking good. Yeah. And also just be delusional as. Fuck yeah. Be delusional as fuck, yeah. It will do it. Honestly, you're fucking amazing to talk to. I love talking to you anyway but I feel like I'm so. Shy. I don't think we've ever been so
serious. No, this is the most serious. Yeah, this is very serious talk. No, it's the most serious we've ever spoken. She knows no more about me than before. No, I love it, but we usually whenever we talk about serious topic we kind of flood like in and out and you can just RIP the shit into me, which you're not going to do on here because you're scared of the lesbians coming for you. Well, I let Freya choose a clown outfit the other day. She did.
She literally sent me a little 33 clown outfits and then just put underneath. Go ahead, pick one. I might sell you one for the next night. When I come, you will wear. It but yeah, yeah. Well, I'm going to make sure that you come when you're back from Panama. You're coming to the first lesbian my night. That is whenever the part that's going to be when you're back, you have to come. Valentine's Day. Oh, yeah. I love you so much. You're the best.
And we love you lesbians. We will speak to you next week. Bye.