Hello lesbians. I want to start off today a little bit differently. It's Freya speaking, and I feel like everyone wants to talk about this one thing that has obviously happened within the USI think it's pretty clear where we stand. We do not support Trump and we were obviously rooting for Kamala Harris to be the next president. I think now what's happened is this really horrendous man has managed to get into power, someone who you probably wouldn't trust to hold your
drink for you. I mean, I know that I certainly would not be trusting him to hold my drink. A man who has been convicted of multiple sexual assaults, fraud, felonies, you name it. I mean, all hopes that can't just go straight into jail. Do you know what I mean? And just stays there. But regardless of whether he's gotten in or not, I and I know that Scarlett feels the same. We want you to know that we as the Lesbian Supper Club, we are
here for you. If you are in the States right now and this was against your decision and you're feeling it very, very hard like the rest of a lot of LGBTQ plus individuals and also not to mention women, then fucking hell on this podcast. And we will be as gay as possible for you and try and shed some light on this horrendous man getting into power. And as much as people like to say it's just because you hate Trump, it's based on facts. It's an opinion based on facts.
I'm not making up facts. You cannot possibly do that. I as Auk citizen, I believe that I actually do have more knowledge on the bills that he is looking to pass and the laws he is looking to pass and already has passed that is against the LGBTQ plus community and also women. And that's the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is I know exactly the same if not less and they still voted him into power.
It is absolutely incomprehensible and I feel for all of you who just didn't want this asshole to dictate your bodies, your lives, your freedom. And when people say to me and Scarlett, they say this is a lesbian supper club page. Why are you getting political? This is on Instagram. I don't know how else I can say this to you. Being a lesbian, being a woman, being anything under the LGBTQ plus umbrella. We unfortunately are heavily impacted by politics.
Heavily. Not only that, it is also there to build laws that restrict our freedom because we are gay, because we are a woman. So you want to ask me why I'm political on a lesbian podcast or a lesbian page? That is why. Because the whole purpose of our podcast is for equality. It's for representation. You want to I, I just, it baffles me. It baffles me. But sometimes you just cannot
argue with thick. You cannot, like it is impossible to argue with Dick, but I think just like in this time now, you can't change what has happened. You just can't. OK, let's let's just OK, park that to the side we go. How are we going to ensure I, like myself and my friends and my family, are safe, happy,
secure? And I think that by sticking together tighter than ever within the LGBTQ plus community or the allies and the women that are all on the same page, that is the most unbreakable thing that you can do. Because as soon as you will start pointing fingers at one another, it's just going to get so much worse. And they also want you to be hysterical, These right wing bigots, not a fucking tooth in their head.
People love seeing liberal people get up and there's a fucking good reason why we're upset. Yeah, of course there is, but they they love it. They thrive off it. They think that we are uneducated. They probably don't have one singular GCSE between the whole family. That's you know, but it's fucking it's a classic and it happens everywhere. It happens everywhere. But the main thing to do is just yet we we stay together.
I really hope that these laws and bills is trying to pass, especially within Project 25, which of course he will love to say that he has no involvement in, even though 25 of his administration wrote it and 140 of his employees work on it. So he's got dementia, he's got severe cognitive like dysfunction, or he's lying. Which one do you fucking think it is? OK. We've just got to hope that those don't get passed. And in the meantime, be so kind to yourself.
Be so kind to other people. Don't let this make you wish that you were any different than you are, please, because there is nothing better than living your truth and feeling that freedom. This is something that people like that are never going to feel, never going to feel because they are not one either brave enough or they just lack that empathy. Imagine living a life where you lack empathy. You're a miserable human being and talk about miserable human beings.
I really want to talk today about mental health. I know that me and Scarlett have like spoken about mental health quite a bit on this podcast because I feel like it's super relevant and also having better help as our sponsor. I mean, come on, it's great and we love talking about mental health. But recently I've just been working a lot more on my mental health and kind of understanding actually the impacts that it's had in my life.
And I only really want to talk about the areas that I've personally like struggled with mental health because I feel like, you know, I can definitely lend an ear and have some kind of advice for people who, you know, suffered with something that I don't that I have never gone through. But I think it's always best to hear it from someone who's actually gone through it or is going through it.
I think you all know, I mean, I've mentioned it before, like how bad my anxiety, it's like I have like a generalized anxiety disorder. It's more like a panic disorder where it will, I will spiral into panic attacks and some days obviously much better than others. But when I tell you it's so fucking exhausting, it is sometimes just debilitating. And not only does it make me feel kind of, it makes me feel like I want to jump out of my own skin. It makes me feel like I don't
want to be here. It makes me want to completely, I mean, just erase myself, like get out, get out. It becomes so overwhelming. But also then I feel sorry for people who are around me and people who have to deal with it.
You know, whether that be Scarlet, whether it be family, friends, I, I feel terrible within those moments because and by the way, no one's made me feel terrible about it, but it makes you feel really the way that I can put it is like pathetic as it makes me feel pathetic. And I think my ADHD has quite a lot to do with that because obviously I think it's got to do with that and also like rumination. So if you've got a DHDI think
it's a lot easier to spiral. It's harder to talk yourself out of a spiral when you have ADHD because your brain just is wired so differently. And some people suffer in different areas, like struggling different areas with ADHD, But for me, a big part of mine is rejection sensitivity dysphoria and that like emotional dysregulation. And so therefore it's hard to kind of understand those feelings and walk through them and get out the other side.
And instead, sometimes I'll be like the fucking Tasmanian devil in my head. And there's too many thoughts to even to even grab one to like understand what that is or where that's come from. And also, it'll just make me go to point blank, worst case scenario at all times. It is a miserable, miserable existence. And the same goes for depression. I think for a while I didn't really think that I suffered with it. And I think a lot of it does have to do with the fact that I have anxiety.
I think the anxiety came first before the depression. And I think that the amount of times where I feel like anxiety has ruined just about every amazing thing in my life. It doesn't mean that those things weren't still amazing and I didn't enjoy them, but that anxiety was still there. And the only time when I've ever really been able to enjoy something is so why the fuck am I crying? It's like in the past. So.
So I think about that, that thing and be like, oh, yeah, that that holiday was really fucking good. And like, I had a great time. And then I'm like, oh, why couldn't I felt like that when I was there? And I think it's because when I know it's because the whole time that I'm there, there's that worry that something is going to happen and my body is fucking rearing itself like ready to go. So when it's in the past already, I'm like, nothing bad happened. It was great.
So I kind of can just see that for what that is. It's tiring. But yeah, I think it's that. I know that a load of you guys agree. And so many of you have asked me about this and This is why I'm going into the detail. But you know, you have that anxiety that stops you from enjoying the things that you love. And then that builds this kind of like resentment in your body. Your your brain learns behaviors really not words. It learns those behaviors.
It learns. I won't like that if I go there because I had a panic attack the last time and it was quite literally a pub. Do you know what I mean? Or it like it wasn't a dangerous space. I had all my friends there. It was great. But my anxiety was saying go the fuck home. And the amount of times I have to force myself to stay in situations because I understand as well that going at home, it's just telling your body that, yeah, you were completely right
with the anxiety shit. Like 100% I had to get the fuck out of there. You have to feel the fear and do it anyway. And that is one of the hardest things to do. And that goes for anxiety and depression. And then depression, I think is like a whole other ball game because it it makes you lose love out of your life and lose that light and it changes who you are for, by the way, not forever, but it changes your perception and you start to second guess yourself.
You no longer trust yourself. You don't want to be in your own skin. You want everything to just be over. You want the struggle to be over. It doesn't mean that you necessarily are like suicidal within those moments, but you just want it to be over. You don't want to feel those things anymore and you get kind of desperate.
You want it to just go away. And then when those that when you are like a ruminator, but like me, it's like you will like hang on to those thoughts and you will have a circuit of thoughts that just kind of go around and around and around. And it's because you're trying to control something that you don't have any control of. And you're trying to make sense out of things and you're almost trying to think that it's going to give you like a justification, but it just
won't. Like you will never gain anything from ruminating. You'll never gain anything from going over the same scenario 100,000 times. What you can do, you can build on your present and your future. You can build on that. And it is hard. And let me just say, like if you even managed to get out of bed
today, fucking well done. When you are depressed and obviously people deal with depression so many different ways and so many different tactics work for different people and obviously there are different levels as well. But that massive hurdle of that day could have been just getting out of bed for somebody else. That massive hurdle could have been going to work. The other person could have been going out for dinner with a friend. And and it can also fluctuate as well, right?
It can always be different. But if you have done those things, you need to congratulate yourself every single time. You can't say fucking hell wise it's so hard to do this thing. God, I just wish it was easier, blah, blah, blah. No, no, no, you go, I'm going there. I'm so proud of myself for doing that. I'm so proud of myself for getting out. I'm so proud of myself for having a shower. I'm so proud of myself for brushing my teeth.
You have to. Even though you don't love yourself within this moment of depression, you need to force yourself to tell yourself affirmations of love and kindness. It is so hard. It is so hard and it makes you flip out and it's so hard trying to love yourself when the depression has made you feel like an entirely different person, a person that you don't recognize. So in your head you're thinking, how the fuck am I supposed to love this?
Because I don't love what's going on right now and I don't love this person. This person isn't me. But you need to show that person love because that person, you are still there, right? And that person, the more that you shed that love on it, you're just kind of washing away, washing away, washing away and bringing back your core, your person, who you are. And depression takes the most lightest, beautiful souls. It has no mercy.
It doesn't matter who you are, doesn't matter how much money you have or how many friends you have or success, family, house, whatever it might be, it doesn't matter. It has no type. Depression is basically like the mental health version of a slag. It doesn't really matter who you are, what you got. They'll fuck you anyway. Do you know what I mean? Like, like the depression will fuck you anyway. And I think that sometimes in those moments of lightness, and it could just be that you saw
something really cute. You saw a dog earlier when you were getting a coffee that really, like, warmed your heart or you watched a film that made you feel better. You know, those things you need to, like, be like, fucking. Yeah. Like, there is. There is goodness. And we've and we've been in that good place before. It's so trust me, you'll really saying Freya, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. And I and I get it. I get it. I fucking get it honestly. Like fuck, it's exhausting.
It is fatiguing. It makes you hate everything in your fucking life. But Jesus Christ, please just listen to me as the voice of reason, as someone who knows exactly how it feels that you kind of raise this. You can get over it. And you will have your moments of flipping out and say you've had a few weeks where you're feeling so much better. You've been able to do normal things again. And you're like seeing your
friends. You're managing to laugh and you're and then you have that one day on a Thursday and you fucking break down in tears and you can't leave your room. It doesn't mean it's coming back. It's because healing isn't linear. Healing doesn't just go whoop, let's fucking go. It's not like a plane. It's basically like a turbulent plane, actually. It's like you will get up there and you will have some rocky moments. It doesn't mean that the plane is going to crash.
It just means that you are still on your journey to reach this destination that you can't wait for, but you're up in the air and you've managed to get off the runway and you're up here and you're doing the best that you can and you are carrying all of those problems. So depression is like a plane now that I've decided you are carrying all those problems, you're carrying all that baggage, you are lifting the
load. You are a fucking heavy machine and you're supposed to fucking fly when you're a machine, a metal machine on the ground and someone's saying you need to fucking fly now. And you're going, no, because I'm literally like 20 tons. I don't even know how fucking heavy is a plane. I don't know. You're like, I am literally, I am this huge fucking thing with some little wheels. How on earth am I supposed to
get up there? And the more and more encouragement, the more engineers work on you and you finally realize that you've got these, like you've got these turbines behind you and some wings. And those wings can be the people that really fucking help you and who are just or even just there for you or even your own thoughts that are there for you. And those turbines is the power. That's the power that you need
to push yourself. And not too much by the way, but you need to give yourself that like healthy encouragement. And then you find yourself slowly gliding up. And then when you are up, you will have those moments of turbulence where it feels like you're going to fail and you feel like you're going to crash because you've still got all
these people on board. You still got all these problems on board, but whilst you're up in the air, those problems are so much lighter than they were when you're on the ground and you are about to reach that beautiful destination that's going to make you feel warm and happy again and be able to enjoy your life. But it takes time. And some people's flight could be to fucking Santorini. The next person's flight could be to Bali.
Like it's a we all just process things differently and that's absolutely OK. I think comparison is the thief of joy. Don't compare yourself to anyone. And I think sometimes as well, that's what's hard. Like people find depressed people, right? And then they compare themselves to that person and then that person might start feeling better before you do. And then you're like, what the
hell, Right now I'm alone. I think The thing is with mental health as well, it's such a lonely feeling like you, you feel alone. You could be in a room full of people. You feel so alone. And it's something that when I was younger, like the only way that I can really put it, it is like I've always felt like my life has been like a very like long struggle. I've struggled a lot in my life with so many different things.
And I really, I really tried, like I spent so many years trying to better, whether that be myself or my career, partner, friendships, family issues. And I pushed and pushed and pushed like against all odds. And I did finally get to a spot where I, you know, I get to plenty of spots where I feel better. Like I'm so I'm so proud of everything that I've managed to achieve.
And that's why sometimes it can be so frustrating that I still feel this way because I thought that once I achieve everything I wanted and I have more money, more friends, that I'll feel better and that the anxiety will just wash away. And that kind of depression, those past issues that I haven't actually dealt with properly will just go away. And that's not how it works, unfortunately. I wish someone told me, no, it doesn't work.
I mean, I'm in a way I'm kind of glad for it because I'm like, that is what strived me to do as well as I could in my life. And I'm, by the way, I'm still going. I don't feel like I've reached the peak, but like, that was what strived me was that I was like, I will feel better. So I'm kind of glad that it was there in a way, you know, because I feel like I probably wouldn't have achieved as much as I have so far at the age of 30 then I would have done had I
not had those issues. You know, I think it's like trying to see the Silver Linings maybe. But it does. It does get better and I know that it gets better and I've definitely had moments in life where I felt 100 times better than I feel today, for instance. And I've had days where I felt 200% worse. So I think it's about remembering those things that you can put that effort into. But fucking hell, like, I don't know about you guys, but I also feel like intro prospection.
I think that's the word introspection is where you is basically where you where you are always thinking about your mental health in the sense where and just the person that you are because you're trying to like continually like better things. You're trying to analyze things and sometimes we don't need to analyze everything. Not everything can be put down to an attachment type. Not everything can be put down to a mental health illness. Not everything can be put down
to a neurodivergency. Sometimes we are just who we fucking are and we are all humans and you can't just shove a fucking label on everything because it's just not how it fucking. It's just not how it works. Like you need to be able to have more like compassion for just the person that you are and be like, I said no to that because I just didn't want to fucking go or I, you know, and just own your shit and be like, yeah, I got angry.
You know, I don't want to maybe I don't want to have to talk about like all the fucking triggers which got me to that point. Like I just say like something angered me and I got angry because we're still animals. We still have that like animalistic instinct that's within us, right? To have that like right out, like to have that thing that goes that like protection.
You know, I don't know. I think I think as well, like obviously with mental health issues, I don't know if it's because people within the LGBTQ community are more open. We talk about it more, but I do actually think that we similarly just kind of suffer with a lot more in our lives, a lot more adversity where we face homophobia every day, whether it be microbe, we face it. We worry about telling a stranger that we've got a girlfriend.
We worry that any person really just won't accept you for who you are and true truly just based on your sexuality. So it's no longer got to do with your personality. It's got no longer to do with the way that you look. You know that your your worth is up to debate with just about anyone just purely based on your sexuality. So basically just be a cunt because they're going to hate you anyway. And sometimes you can't kill people with kindness. Sometimes you just can't.
Like I feel like people, people don't like what they don't understand. People don't like what they're scared of because potentially it triggers a little something inside of them. It's not much you can do, but I think everyone is like deserving of a different answer. Some people I will go full on complete, I will humiliate you mode and another time I will just literally laugh and just walk away because it's just not worth my energy. You know, if that's your if that's your thought, I'm not
here to convince you. I'm not here to convince you to be a decent human being. That's not my job. And this is another reason as well, guys, why I fucking obviously, if you're in a safe space to do so, I lead with telling new people that I meet that I have a lesbian podcast, I've got a girlfriend, etcetera. I lead with that because it's gonna give me an answer as to whether I continue on that conversation or not because if they react weirdly, I will
remove myself. I have no fucks given and people say you have no shame. It's like no, they have no fucking shame. And they also just don't deserve to be in my fucking company. That they don't deserve to be in my company. They don't deserve to have that conversation. They don't deserve to fucking be in the air that I breathe. I will leave. I don't deal with that anymore because I find it pathetic.
And I think that especially when it comes to lesbians, I think that women are like forced and ingrained to appease men. And so as soon as a man like says that like, oh, can I join or whatever. I know a lot of women, unfortunately, because they are trying to appease men and because they don't want to upset them, they don't want to make it awkward. They'll make a joke out of it or, you know, they'll feel uncomfortable, but carry on that
conversation. And I think for me, I have to look them up and down and be like, even if I was straight, there is no fucking way I'd go near you. People who say jokes when you come out are so little. They're like little small men or a little small women. But let's be real, it's usually men. And also like circling back to the Trump thing, obviously it's terrifying that there's our boys in school saying your body my choice. But what I can't wait for, I can't wait for the gay men to say it.
I can't wait because if it's all men that are going to go around saying your body my choice, please let it be the gay ones and see what happens. OK? You see how it feels when a big old burly gay comes your way with a your body my choice Do you puny little man? I don't understand why men believe that they have power over women's bodies. They certainly fucking don't. You don't owe men shit. I mean people say not all men. I can't be asked you know who you are if you're not that guy,
right? That I'm talking about may not be not all men, but it is all men that are doing this shit. OK. And unfortunately now there are female supporters of Trump even with all of this anti female laws and they're pro-life. I'm pro-life, I'm pro-life. I'm pro existing lives too. No, God, I'm not pro-life. Fuck, no, I don't No, I mean, like I'm, I know no, I'm pro-choice. I'm pro-choice. I'm pro-choice, but I'm pro-life for the person carrying that
baby. I'm pro-life for the person that got fucking raped and they are now carrying a baby that they do they cannot categorically have. It will be trauma. I'm pro-life for the women that are suffering with multiple years of abuse or they then get pregnant and then the the the fetus is, is decaying inside of them. And this recently happened in Georgia.
This recently happened in Georgia as a 28 year old woman and she took Plan B, but it left some of the fetal composition within her body and it started to cause an infection within her body. So she went into the hospital in Georgia, in Atlanta. They couldn't physically remove that dead, decaying fetus inside of her. So they waited and they waited and they waited until she got sicker and sicker and sicker and then they performed the surgery and she died. And this is the reality that
sadly, we are now facing. This was a procedure that would have been quite routine and these doctors would potentially have faced 10 years in jail for performing it. And she has a six year old little boy that now doesn't have a mom, a 28 year old. She's two years younger than me and this is what you're after when you're going pro-life? pro-life, Fuck off. Just fuck off. Educate yourself, get some education. Why? Like also, why the fuck do you care? Why do you care what other
people do about their body? Why do you care whether they are bought a baby or not? So literally, it's the furthest thing that has got to do with me. But yeah, I think, can you tell I'm fucking wound up today? I just think that honestly, the education system needs a revamp, but it's not going to get it because Trump wants to ban a load of books too, honey, a load of very important books. But God, fucking hell, Freya, this is a depressing episode.
I'm sorry, guys, I am sorry. I think that I haven't I haven't been in the best space this week. It's been a hard week for me. And I'm just trying to be honest because I felt like I felt, I felt a little bit less alone when I'm like sat here and I'm talking to you, I feel like I'm able to actually talk to people and, and I don't feel incredibly judged. I think it's kind of easier that you're not sat in the room with me. I'm going to be honest. But it's, it's good.
It's good and it's therapeutic. And I promise, not every single episode is going to be depressing. So if this is the first one that you're listening to, I'm sorry, but I need to sometimes be fucking real. And sometimes we need to talk about the hardship and sometimes you need to be encouraged. Sometimes you need to hear what's going on with people's lives because it's just real
life. And I mean, I know that I, I find solace like hearing someone who I listen to normally, like talk about their issues in their life and their mental health struggles because I'm like, OK, so yeah, I, I'm really not alone. I know I put on the best front ever. I know that people never guess that there's any mental health issues apart from being like clinically insane. No, I, I think it's weird. It's funny because, yeah, I'm a very outgoing person.
And so I think that there's this kind of stereotype that I, well, you don't really suffer from that. And it's like, no babe, I do. I do. And so it comes in all different shapes and sizes. Guys, I didn't even fucking, I didn't even find a Horror Story to read out because I'm literally a well, I will say one thing though, guys, Oh my God. If you do have ADHD and you suffer with like depression, take your meds or get prescribed some meds that are good at regulating emotions.
Because I didn't take it Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and I was in a hole, a spiraling hole. I was literally like I couldn't even walk on the Wednesday morning. I took my pill that I remembered. I went to go and get a coffee and like whilst I was going to get a coffee. By the way, guys, this was a struggle. I bumped into my friend whilst I looked like something deranged. She looked at me like, Oh my God, OK. And I'm like, yeah, I know.
And then I went to go and get my coffee, came back still depressed, tried to do some work. And then it went like, Ding. I was like, oh, oh, oh, yeah, OK, that's better, that is better. And I was like, oh man, I'm a fucking idiot. I actually am. I've just lost three days. I'm a fucking idiot. I cleaned my house, I went over to Westfields, bought a new Hoover, picked up our new phones. Oh my God, I could eat again. Christ, fuck, what a fucking idiot. Anyway, we'll be doing that again.
And yeah, I think, I don't know what I was thinking by not taking them. It was stupid. It was dumb. But anyway, guys, speeds you say? Oh by the way, also God Jesus Christ, I did actually take my meds today. I don't feel like they're working on the 22nd of this month. We've got another lesbian pub night which I cannot wait for. The one last month was just a fucking hilarious Oh my God, and you guys bring it every single
time. So if you want to come have a look at the link in the bio 22nd. It's on a Friday, which is great. And also I'm going to pop in some links in there as well because like if anything I've said is like resonated with you. Obviously I always advocate for therapy through better help, but also you feel that you really need that like severe help and like right now, like emergency care. I will put those links in there. So you have access.
I'm here for you reach out. I love talking about this kind of stuff and I promise you I'll be happier next time. But I love you all and I'll speak to you next week. Bye.