Hello. Hi everyone. Welcome to the Lesbian Supper Club podcast. Before we just had to sort out the mics. I was saying because Freya was laughing, because I was in a bit of a Strop with the mic like hanging in between my legs. Because as you'll know if you follow us on social media, particularly Instagram at the Lesbian Supper Club pod, you would have seen that we couldn't record last week because the. Laptop broke. Oh, it was so shit.
Actually, it was really. Shit because of someone called Freya Evans. You know what, I'm actually not going to take the blame for this because I put the bed. I put the laptop on the bed to save it from getting stepped on. And as you moved the laptop. You put the laptop, as you often done, on the absolute edge of. As you often done. As you often do yeah, on the absolute edge of the bed. So even if the dog jumps off, I really. Don't think anyone cares. I really don't. I care. I care.
I want everyone to know the reason that we couldn't record last week was because of you, because you are. Does it make you feel good? No. But does it make you feel good? It. Does actually why it feeds me, but why? Because let me tell you why, because I would have told you multiple times before the laptop fell off the bed to either put your laptop on a counter side, so not on the floor nor on the bed if you're not specifically using it at that point.
You are the person with the bedside table. It's not my fault that the bedside table is absolutely rammed to shit. You could buy yourself a bedside table. I couldn't. I couldn't put a bedside table. You'll have to get out of bed then and put it on the kitchen table or put it on one of the many shelves that we have in the living room because we have. Annoying me so much that I actually feel like throwing this mic at the window like. Well, throw the laptop at the
window, just go through. It yeah, I will. Because then you're you're because this is the only time. We've had to. I've also had to deal with about four weeks guys worth of literal stress because Freya, right? Also beside it, no. I don't think it's actually
funny. Freya, having had, you know, dropped her iPhone multiple times, which isn't the primary all do it, but the back was smashed to literal smithereens, decides that she's then, which she does on a weekly basis because she still has a slight sense of OCD, to bleach the bath. And when I tell you this girl bleaches the bath like it gets bleach. Yeah, so she's bleached the bath. She's filled the bath up slightly with bleach water.
She has her very cracked open back, iPhone in her huge hoodie front pocket leaning over the bath. Can I also tell you that two weeks prior to this, the phone had fallen in the bath and we'd managed to savour it and dry it out. Classic rice. She then repeated the same thing two weeks later, leant over the bath with a bar full of bleach. Actually, the iPhone falls in again somehow. By the way guys, this is not Freya's fault. It's not the the phone then. Breaks. It's not my fault.
Classic. I'm the one that has the insurance and sorts it all out. So I had to go through the whole insurance thing for her, get the phone replaced for her. We then have multiple issues with the E SIM, which has then been causing you issues for the last 2 1/2 weeks. Yeah, so it's been a constant technical glitch our life. Over the last it's been so fucking shit. Right guys, we're getting into the topic now.
Grouch has had her rant. Yeah, Jesus Christ, Grouch is really on the fucking Grouch train today. I guys, I need fucking saving. I know there's going to be two sides to this audience. One side will sit here and go I am Freya this is me I feel seen and the other side will be on my like AKA grouch's side and go I get it, someone else that I'm around does this all the time and yet it is absolutely infuriating. OK, we just.
All I have to say to that is just chill out and maybe you should be drinking the trip Right now I'm drinking a trip CBD infused lemon basil lights that's. My favourite flavour. So good. It's the best flavour for sure. And it genuinely does chill me out a bit as well. Like it feels just like nice and light and I fucking need it. So I'm going to have like 10 of them. Please do. Hopefully it chills you out into complete silence. Submission, but I've been absolutely fine.
Freya, I'm literally not getting into this with you right now. So guys, it's been a bit of a hectic week because we broke the laptop, drove down to Cornwall to see Freya's mum. That was fun. Ended up then going down to our place in Cornwall, which is, by the way, our only place, which was a really cheap place that we renovated. Because I know some people are sticklers for believing that we're like privileged white. Girls I know.
So we ended up going down to like our place in Cornwall, which we are now selling because we had to get some documents. We got down there, the weather was bad, even though the weather was really nice. And then we had an opportunity come up in London that we missed out on because there was. No, don't. It was an opportunity to where girls like the thought of it, yeah, makes me so like
depressed. If you girls knew, if you girls knew what we missed out on, I genuinely think that you, you would, I would hear this, the cries. You dig the hole for us. Yeah, push us in and be like, there you go. So I can't really focus on that too much because that was sad. It's been a really busy week, hasn't it? Freya, do you want to take the pleasure of telling the audience? So guys, I swear Cornwall is cursed for us. Like because we also found out via our neighbour as well.
So besides the builders being perverts, we also discovered the other day. I mean I'm not accusing, but money went missing from Cornwall, didn't it? Which we forgot. We had basically had some cash that my one of my parents had given me when we'd first moved in a few years back to help us buy furniture that we had left in the kitchen drawer. Like at the back of the kitchen drawer. When we went back down after a few weeks, some of it was gone. Yeah, but me and Freya's
memories are so bad. The thing is, is that like, but I've said it before, I guess like myself, like I'll be like, no, I must have, like, Nah, I must have so. Yeah. No, I really don't think I did. And all of it's kind of coming together.
I think the main thing is, is that it, I know that we've said it before to you guys, but like we feel for you, the people that are in like the smaller villages and the smaller towns, because I think because we're so used to how liberal people are in London that. Not all the time, but. Not all the time. Majority of the time that is. We do get shocked when we go back to places like Cornwall because you're more than likely to run into a dickhead.
Yeah, right. Even in Cornwall, when people are trying to be supportive, they don't realise actually how offensive they can be. There's also a rumour going round that we have broken up, which is just. In Pornwall. Funny, it's not even like a social. Media break up on the daily, but like, not for anyone else to know about. We literally never do. We've never broken up in our whole relationship, which I think is like really rare for lesbian relationships or like any relationship.
But yeah, there's just this really weird rumour going around Carbis Bay that. These that we've broken. Up. Broken up. So that's weird, yeah. But yeah, we were exposed to a very strange in very strange individual, weren't we, Freya? A few. Days ago, weird. I mean, it was, it was just weird. I mean, I felt really bad because like my mom, little Jilly, she is so cute, right? And but she also likes to make me hang out with all of our friends whenever we go and visit
her. So like I won't see her for months on end and then I'll go over to her place for like 2 days and then she's like oh so and so is going to come over and then we're going to go over to theirs. And I'm like oh Mama, I just came here to see you. But anyway, there are these really cute neighbours of hers. It's like older couple. They are adorable. Like, they're like the cutest, sweetest people. They're like two of her favourite friends. Yeah. Yeah, like.
That I have of her. Yeah, exactly. And then so they invite us over for a drink and we'd had the longest day. This was the day as well where we missed out on that fucking opportunity. It was just whatever and we just had dinner and I'd opened up a bottle of red and I was like, right, well, we'll just bring this over to their house and go into their garden. Just. Have a drink.
Yeah, yeah. And we went to go and join them and she had the neighbour had her daughter who is like in her 40s, fifties and and her husband there. Can I just say within two minutes of meeting this guy? Do you ever just get a vibe She fucking? It was Oh my God. So I've actually had an, I've had a headache since speaking to him about a week ago. Met him within the 1st 2 minutes.
Is one of these guys right that you know, And I said to my mum later, I was like, do you not think he was just like, no, I really didn't think he was going to be like this.
And let me tell you, it happens to me and Scarlett all the time because straightaway we had to get into the topic of conversation about our house because the neighbourhood asked us about it. Otherwise, I wouldn't have even brought up the fact that we were selling this house because I know what men like that get like with women who are successful, especially young women with no man their. Egos already fall into. That Oh my God just what a fucking knobhead. Like he was just.
So as soon as he found out that we were selling a property that by the way, was like the cheapest property that I could have found, like I'd had a tiny, tiny bit of savings, and I took the risk to take that tiny bit of savings and spend it all and spend it all. And we did, we, we literally grafted our little asses off during lockdown and it made us a bit of a profit like that is it right. So it's not like this is some big thing anyway.
He doesn't know the detail nor does the detail matter. So in competition, he then has to quickly tell us that he's got a 22 foot boat. And I'm thinking, I literally couldn't give a fuck, but thank you for letting me know.
And somehow, somehow we got onto the subject of having an electric car because we were saying that the infrastructure down in Cornwall for electric cars is nowhere near as good as London. Now I just want to put like APSA out there to how problematic this world is, right? So personally I believe that in my very strong opinion that being a vegan is one of the best ways you can help a this planet and B minimise suffering to animals.
So one of the reasons why I don't eat meat is because I am so emotionally attached to any living thing that I can't not eat meat, right? But everyone has a choice and
that is their choice there. There's a lot of things about this world that you can do. You can make choices that you believe lessen the impact on various things, whether it be like socio economic impacts, climate change impacts, political impact, but there are always going to be complications or implications to the choices that we make. So we have an electric car. The main reason we have an electric car is because of congestion charges in London so. Fight the pollution in London as.
Well, to help fight the pollution, and also because the car has dog mode. Yeah, you guys know that. We're fucking devoted to that dog. And the Peace of Mind that dog mode gives me is like, yeah, that's like everything to me, right? But I'm not completely blind to the implications that electrical vehicles have. They are not a complete Bo and end all option comparatively to diesel nor petrol cars. And I've never been under that illusion.
OK, so we briefly say to this guy, oh, the infrastructure is really bad, have an electric car, do you? That's gonna piss me off. That's gonna piss me. Off as I don't give a fear whether it pisses you off here we. Oh my God. So we're like, yeah, we do. He starts going on.
Can I just say like this is an outward like right wing, like benefiting off of that the suffering of others directly or indirectly indirectly in maximum capacity type of human being a straight white boomer like the level of privilege right that you like you can't get any more privilege.
No, you can't. No. So he starts to lecture me, well both of us, on how lithium batteries are obtained as if he's not got an iPhone literally sat on the table and as if he doesn't own a literal boat which consumes a lot of power, oil, energy, etcetera. As if he has never gone on an aeroplane before. Like, do you know what I mean? Like. I do you know what though? This all goes like he's, he said so much, which like we're obviously not going to get into
because it's fucking long. But what I'm so sick of people doing is that they will see you do something right and they will. People like this will try to make someone feel small and stupid because they think that we believe that we're changing the earth because we're driving
an electric car. But instead of actually pointing the finger at the larger issues that are going on within the world, within the larger organisations, the leaders that there are, people love to poke holes and to make people feel small that are literally like points at. Each other, yes, And it's so fucking dumb and it's exhausting. Like it comes into cancer
culture right as well. Like if all of us spend as much time pointing fingers upwards as we do each other about stupid things we've all said in the past or stupid shit that we've all done. I'm not talking about dangerous stuff, I'm talking about stupid stuff. The world would probably be a different place, but I think everyone has got so much hate and stress inside of them. Instead of looking and channelling that in the right areas, we challenge it at each other and that's a really
dangerous thing. We were sat right next to the river. I would have loved nothing more to drop kit times off the fucking curb. You know I'm I'm not for aggression, but in some capacities I am. Sometimes I just need a good sleep. Wish nothing more than my dad being there because he would have just uppercutted him straight into the estuary. And I would have. I would have had he would. Have gated him he. 100% but the best part, and this is kind of how it feeds into our wider
conversation. Love it is. He then starts going on some other rant. About. Population. Population because. Obviously, Mr Wanting to save the planet of climate change wants everyone to have fucking children. Saying how important procreation is, and obviously it doesn't take a fucking genius to understand that the problem with this earth largely is the fact we're hugely overpopulated and we cannot feed the number of people that we have in this world.
So he goes on to ask us. I think he just realised that we were together, hadn't we? Yeah. If we were going to have children and we simply said, you know, we're not sure yet, it's not something we've really focused on too early. For I was thinking straight away, here we fucking go. He's asking us if we're going to have children. He then goes on to tell us how it's an epidemic, that the white man is a dying breed. And I was thinking, well, if that's part of you, get a
fucking shifty. I swear to God, this is how it's disgusting. Terrific. I was trying. I was, so I was so desperately trying to not be in the conversation. So I was kind of like in and out. I was like trying to, I literally was asking the neighbour about her flowers. I don't know anything about flowers. I'm sadly. We're desperately like, so to turn it on its head, he goes, well, you have to have children. You have to. And to turn it on its head, Freyo M do you know what?
It's actually really nice that you would encourage us to have children because a lot of people, because we're gay, will tell us not to. And you saw the penny drop. And like, he was then fucking furious that he had inadvertently supported the LGBTQ plus community. Afraid. I was like no, no, no, no, no, thank you. The way you said it was amazing. But. No, thank you. No. Thank you so much. And he was like. No. Oh, I said no, no, I'll give it to you.
I think that's really big of you to say that. No, no it's not. I'm not supporting the LGBT. Oh, this was it. The oh, are you part of the LGBTQIA Plus 25 things community? Fucking guys wanker. I can't say it enough. This is a person who will say that but then it's the same as like Trump supporters right? Or like these really right wing Americans who are pro like but then also won't change gun law. And it's like. You're literally outdone
yourself. Yeah, but they always say you always want to protect your kids until they're born. Yeah, right. Which is so true. It's it's so fucked. Yeah, Well, that's why they're trying to. That's why they're overriding a lot of trans rights over in America because they believe that it's helping the children. And yet they are, you know, children are getting shot in schools. So please, please make it make sense to me. Because it just can't. I'm so fucking sick of this
earth. Like get get me to fuck off. Like it is crazy. And people like him, honestly, there's no talking to them, there's no arguing with them because they will pick a fight out of everything. So I just sat there. People like that are actually the climate epidemic because they're breathing our air, but
they're thick. We can look outward into society and see so many now, not enough, but so many positive role models in the queer community, so many successful people in the queer community, so many people living an incredible life. But if your Direct Line of communication and experience in this world, which is your peers and your family, are not liberating those experiences. Oh, it's fucking hard. And are speaking in the complete opposite.
Actually, The level of confliction that that will give you is is insurmountable. Yeah, yeah. No, it's, it's crazy. Because that's where your knee jerk goes, right? It's like that is your Bible a lot of the time. Like our parents are our Bible. And actually I was really lucky, despite both of my parents growing up in relatively difficult conditions, are both separately really intelligent individuals? Yeah, also like some intelligence, like it can't be
taught, you know, like you can. You can just be. Bored social intelligence. Yeah, with like an intelligence. And I do think like this whole like streetwise thing. That's fucking that you often you. Need that from being exposed to different pockets of society goes a long fucking way. Yeah, it. Does because you're bullshit. Raiders. I've got an absolutely incredible bullshit Raider. Love that shit, yeah. That stuff goes really quite far, I would argue. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
I think. Yeah, but ultimately, get them to listen to this podcast to do something, get them to do any form of research. It's really hard sometimes. It's like banging your head against the wall. But it does come to a point where people do understand, I think as well. It's a big hot take here, but if someone is outwardly homophobic and like quite a lot, like if they always go on about gay people and how disgusting they are, whatever, they're gay, you will not, you will not find
someone like that who isn't gay. That is internalised homophobia to the fucking Max because it's like. Why do you care so much? Oh. My God, they think about gay people more than I do, and I think about gay people all the fucking time. Yeah, they are like. Obsessed, obsessed, obsessed. Because it's a constant wave of thought. It's an. Internal fight, isn't it? Yeah, and that's why they're so. Mad about it? It's like a diet. Yeah. It's like as soon as you go on a diet, yeah.
And you know you can't have something. You're fucking hungry. All the time. Basic human psychology. I know. Well, I've been. I've like cut out chocolate because. I don't think that's the first time you've. Said this on this podcast. You cut. You cut out chocolate again. Yeah, I've cut out chocolate again. And this is, guys, this is actually really hard for me. Like I have such a sweet tooth. Like in the evening after I've had my dinner, instantly my brain goes to like pocket
sweetness in my stomach. Like I need something sweet. And I have gotten into Mars bars recently and I put them in the fridge and they're so fucking, which are probably are delectable. They are so fucking good, right? And it couldn't just be like a pocket sized Fredo. No, it couldn't, because also with the economic crisis, I'm not buying a fucking economic. Is it an economic? It is an economic, yeah. Fair enough. It actually is. Fredos are now like what £100?
I'm not going to fucking buy, I'm going to get my 4 pack of fast bars. For. A pound. That is fair. Yeah. And I fucking yeah. So I've cut it out because I'm like, no, Ginobot fryer. You're a grown woman. You don't need this today, and you don't need to have this in the evening after your dinner, like a little treat. Because you know what? You have a lot of treats in your life. No, no, no. I want to stop you right there.
This isn't actually Freya can can we just because like this is a bit of a trigger warning like what you're talking about here. No one is saying for a second that you should be cutting calories. The problem is is Freya has an insulin problem. It's not an insulin problem. It is darling, because it's not, I believe. I've got 1/4 sole issue. That's it. Quarter sole, sorry. Yeah. Which is linked to sugars in the body though that when Freya is caning a Mars bar sometimes at 10:00 PM at night.
It's not just after dinner, Freya. Sometimes you get through 2/1 after dinner, one at 10:00 PM. She's then waking up at three, 4:00 in the morning with heart palpitations, which obviously is because of the sugar. So this isn't about like you not, this isn't about the chocolate. No, about what it's like.
It's not personal. It's not personal to the Mars Bar. No, it's just eat as many Mars bars as you want within a certain time frame that isn't 10:00 at. 9 so you're caught it. I really want doesn't spine craving one, but but I also think that it's good to like not from a diet perspective, but like just trying to cut down the sugar in my intake just mainly because I want to feel my best. I want to feel like I'm getting older and I and I want to look
my best, want to feel my best. So that's what I'm going to do. I I get it because I used to have that same problem. Like a real sweet tooth addict, I used to get through a packet of Maryland cookies every morning for breakfast and then a big bar of chocolate. After dinner. What a good start to the day. Oh, it was. It was fantastic. And I completely agree. It's that thing like as soon as you put down your fork of the savoury dinner, it starts to trickle.
In I could be so trying to. Ignore it. Yeah, and it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger until you crack and then you're like an addict. But that's what I mean. I am like an addict, but it is addictive. I'm like a gay homophobe right now, but for chocolate. So that chocolate right now, that Mars bar is spinning around in my head all day. This must be how they feel. Yeah. That gay people spinning around their heads or 100% of them absolutely nuts, 100% cocks flying everywhere.
But This is why, yeah, I believe that they are gay. Yeah, homophobes are gay. So it's my take. Talking about like homophobia then and you know, internalised homophobia, the community experiences etcetera. A lot of you have written in and asked us to discuss being gay in the workplace, and I'm going to assume you've asked us to discuss this from a perspective of not being out in the workplace. So how do you come out in the workplace and how do you ensure that you're safe being gay in
the workplace? Look, it really I understand that this is this is a hard thing to do. Even if you are already out and proud in your life, there may still be that element in you that is like, I'm in my professional workspace and I'm scared that this is going to tarnish something or it might be like an awkward conversation.
I've actually got a really funny story about when I accidentally came out to the whole director of my organisation by accident because I thought that everyone already knew. Like, I'm so gay that I just assumed that everyone knew. Yeah. And I remember they were doing this. It was like this, like, big team, like day out. And we were all sat in like the hottest room in the fucking world.
And they did this presentation about gay rights and they had this this show that they put on about this guy who's Aceo, but also is like a drag queen in his spare time and all this kind of stuff. I remember. And then then the presentation ended. And then anyone was like, if anyone has anything to say, just like stand up and say it. And in the quietest fucking hall ever, I move my chair as it screeches on the floor.
I stand up and I say when I was a gay woman instantly I heard everyone's chair and body move like boom look I like stare at me and I then I realised I was like shit these people didn't know that I was gay and I was and I was looking at everyone. I mean that everyone was smiling like it was a really good response. It was so fucking funny how everyone just went as soon as I said gay woman. Necessarily a negative thing. Yeah, I still find it really
fucking. I wag my tail when another dog dyke walks in the room 100% but it was so funny because then and then they all gave. I was like, oh I think this is great, blah blah. They all gave me like this like round of applause after this finish this Irish not. The gay round of. Applause this Irish Jan and found me afterwards and was like, I thought I was the only gay in here. She's like, I'm so glad to find another dyke. I was like, that's amazing.
I was like hey. And she's like, I was like, oh, I didn't know you were gay. I mean, I was like, she's like, really? You didn't know I was gay. You didn't. I was like, no, I didn't know you were gay. I mean, but no, it was, it was really, really funny and it was so nice. It was a really, really positive experience. But I understand that not every organisation is like that, and not every organisation is as protected. And even if it is, I understand that you want to know as well,
like how to come out. Because yeah, a lot of you wouldn't want to come out in such like a grand fucking way of doing it, like. Well, this is the thing. So like I would say, first of all, your safety is everything. So you know, for me, I've always been out in the workplace as well because I've been extremely lucky because I've known that the people around me have been supportive and would be
supportive. And I know that I'm backed by policies that I will spend hours fucking reading to ensure I'm protected. And if anyone were to even fucking dare look at me wrong, best believe my ass is going straight to the fucking top of HR. So safety is absolutely everything. So I think you need to really assess a your workplace. So do you think it's a safe workplace? Read up on the policies and the like pledges of your workplace. You know that your your contract, your protections, HR
policies. Make sure that you have clear routes of escalation. Find a friend or a contact within HR. See if your organisation has an LGBTQ plus group. Find allies. You can be even an ally of the LGBTQ plus group before you even have to be out. You could just be. Part of the group. Just to assess the safety and the kind of liberation, I suppose of your organisation. And then once you've are confident in that, that's how you then have to learn to be confident in yourself to come
out. And that rule then, you know, we've said this before, the same rule applies to coming out in a workplace as it does to anything else in your life of being or coming out, you know, I. Used to just like, I think if you just like drop in the fact that you've got a partner and then when they ask, but then I always have to correct, yeah, the partner thing because then I say partner. I just say my girlfriend straight away, Yeah, or girlfriend I just say. Fuck it.
Or my wife, My girlfriend. That's the thing, guys, like when you're gonna come to us for advice on these things, you know, we, you're talking to two people who like are like balls in a China shop when it comes to homophobia. But it doesn't mean that you can't get that. No. And I and this. Is I never used to be yes. So like. So once you know you're protected, OK, let's take up a
scenario here. The Cornwall cock that we had to deal with a few weeks ago or a few days ago, sorry, sadly happens to be within your organisation. And and this is the thing, these people are existing in your organisation. You come out and this person starts to act or treat you differently. OK, I'm going to say what I would do. My ass is going straight to HR and flagging it. OK, even if I don't have proof, I'm going straight to HR and
I'm. I'm flagging it. Yeah, I am then logging every single microaggression, comment, behaviour, work or non work related. So are they starting to shit on your work more? Are they starting to micromanage you more? You know, these are all inadvertent signs of homophobia. That's the problem. And I'm hassling and I will not go down without a fight. And you know, this is the thing where you have to really understand that the organisation
in which you are in as well. If you're working for a really small building company, for example, it's probably not going to be that great for you if you're. If they're not positive when you come out, I mean. Yeah, in terms of they could be, but yeah. If. You're working for even a medium level enterprise. There's a lot of power to the people. And also think about like social media, like there's so much that like organisations will do these
days to protect themselves. But again, acknowledge. They're doing talk about them. Yeah, but again, acknowledge the privilege in which we are coming from because like not every organisation is like that. No, and also like it is so different. I know that we've got so many American listeners and by the way, I love you all. This is so different in America. The laws that the laws when it comes to work in America, like you can get fired for anything.
Like you can just for nothing. You can literally back. You're fired. But This is why I'm saying. Problem. You know, and I'm not asking anyone to stay closeted, but no, what is the burning desire to be out in terms of like, if you know these people are assholes, even even if you weren't gay, if you're telling me you're working in a place where you know these people are assholes and you're not protected, start looking for a new job, right? Irrespective for sure you're gay or not.
Yeah, if you are gay, does it really matter if these fucking bigots know if you're gay or not? Not really. Would I, Am I encouraging anyone to go out of their way to hide A sense of them, a part of themselves? No, I'm not. But I'm talking about safety here. I'm talking about you keeping yourself protected. But then say what? But then So what is the other colleague that's there that's not out and is feeling bad about themselves? Like I feel like we should be
out. The more people that are out, the better the. Stronger, it gets the. Stronger it gets so really I don't think that we should hide ourselves. I don't think that we should hide that part of our sexuality. I understand what you're saying, like I totally do. But when you say what's the point, well, there's a massive point because they're. Agreed, but there could be 5. Others within their organisation deposited as well and you need to form.
A change doesn't happen, right? Doesn't happen without people being out, you know, they are your colleagues, your cousins, your neighbours, your friends, your mums, your daughters, whatever. They're all gay, right? All of these people are gay. You, you have to be able to express that. We understand that safety is at like the utmost priority here. But I think it is such like a
case by case thing. Let's say for instance, then that you are in, you are in an organisation where you feel like, I think it'll be OK to come out right now. We got to talk about like the steps of how you do that if you wanted to come out in the workplace or like feeling confident in the workplace. The thing is with me is that like whenever people ask me about my partner, I'm always like, yeah, she Scala. Like I always just say it as it is completely LGBTQ plus. Lanyards are quite a.
Good, they are good. Good old rainbow around. You a badge on your blazer that says you know I'm a lesbian. Bring coffee. Just lesbian. Supper club lesbian. That's such a good idea. Let's be super club like you. Know those sorts of things are like good because you could say you're an ally or you know, in the UK for example, you could say it's because you're supporting the NHS, but it could also.
Just be an annoying. I know it's so fucking annoying not even getting into that, but like, it could be a signal to someone else. Yeah. So that is like small ways of doing it. I mean my way, which isn't always necessarily the best way, but I will look people in the eye and just say I am a lesbian. Yeah, and if they were to even look me even in an ounce. Strangely, after saying that, best believe I'm calling it out the. Claws are coming. Out. Yeah. And I know, again, that that comes.
Yeah, I'm so blessed to know that I could do that. And why do I know that I could do that? Because I know that my line manager would ultimately support me, I know that my direct leadership team would ultimately. Support me in such a privileged position like. Extremely, however, I also will do that in my day-to-day life as well. Same. So it's, you know, it's not just like because I I truly believe. Gotta be out and proud, baby.
Yeah, well, like that bigot cunt river riverboat queen, he was sat there saying to us that we as because our podcast is it is an LGBTQ plus. Today, I'm just going to stop you there quickly. Yeah, I'm going to eat my own words here because when he asked me what our podcast was, this is actually the first time in a long time that I felt intimidated and not comfortable to say it is a queer slash lesbian podcast. And I didn't, did I?
I said it's a culture podcast. I'm actually the one who said that. Yeah, and I surprised myself then because, but when I think about it, was it because he intimidated me? No, it wasn't. It was because I was embarrassed for everyone else sat around the table. You didn't want him to have another fucking rant though, because. He only just started departing him. Yeah, I really was. And I knew if I said it was a gay or lesbian podcast, he'd go off on one again.
And that that spitting at that point and it didn't want to expose your mum to that and I didn't want to expose your mum's friends to that. So actually I kept quiet, not because I felt shame in myself or I was hiding because of the other people sat around the table. In hindsight now, looking back, part of me does wish that I stood up calmly, looked him in the eye and said you are one of the biggest cunts I've ever met in my life, Picked up my wine
and walked away. And looking back now, I wish I did. Yeah, because I'm actually angry at myself for that. To make others comfortable, I sat there. Yeah, and I allowed. Someone to do it so much, we all do. It that's the first time I've done it in a long time, and let it be a lesson to me that I'm not gonna do it again. But going back to what I was saying, because because I then was like, no, it's a queer podcast. Like it's a part of the LGBTQ plus community.
It's a lesbian podcast. He was like, do you not think that you're better off diluting that so that you get more more like traction and more audience? Don't you think you're cutting out a massive audience? And I said, do I fuck think that I'm cutting out a massive audience, honestly. Like, I love our straight listeners, right? But how many things do straight people fucking have? This is a queer podcast. This is a lesbian podcast because we don't have lesbian media.
Our shows are getting cancelled left right and centre. There's barely any fucking films about us unless one of them is dying. Like we have a lesbian podcast because it's fucking needed. And pricks like you, I would love to shove this mic so far down this fucking what was amazing just I can't. When he said that I calmly looked at him and I said well considering it's only been out a few months, we've had nearly 1,000,000 listens. No I don't think it's. And he did shut the.
Fuck up. What the fuck is he gonna say? I saw the embarrassment on his face, honestly. But This is why, you know, we don't encourage people to review the podcast, Follow us for clout. It's because of the poignant yes that serves to this community. It's the only way we can help each other. It's am I going to sit here and say that I don't find doing this podcast somewhat self-serving? Of course I do. I fucking love doing it. I love doing you all.
I'm so excited about the opportunities that not only this brings to us but the widest community and all the things we can do. But genuinely the point why we started this was to fight back against cunts like this in the world, and the only way we can do that is by doing it together. Absolutely. Yeah, Yeah, totally. And that's why I love, I love how everyone comes together and everyone's like forming like friendships as well with this community. There's a WhatsApp group by the
way, that's. Been. Yeah, there is. I love this. Some incredible people. If you are listening to this and you want to be a part of it, let us know by DM ING the podcast Instagram, which is at lesbian Supper Club pod and I will send your number over to the to the WhatsApp. And we're going to start dropping in on that at points as well because I think it'll be really fun. Yeah, honestly. We're going back to get in the workplace. Own your share.
Yeah, it's the same advice that we say about everything it. Is but we understand like I hear you like even if you've got us in your ears right now on your side of your desk, I do feel. Like I can't do that. I know that it's uncomfortable but just know as well that my. Best advice is to have a plan in place, understand your policy procedures, read your fucking contract, know your rights beyond your workplace rights, know your country's rights around protection.
You know, like in the UK, we know that there are specific bills for LGBTQ rights. Now, are those always adhere to in the best way? No, they're not. But it gives you strength and empowerment to know exactly where you stand and where your protection lies. So that's the first thing that I would say.
I mean, look, I totally get it because like I also don't want to make any of you feel like shit if you haven't come out of the workplace yet because you could be the most outest and loudest proud lesbian outside of the workplace. So I don't like, I don't want you to feel bad for not coming out because like I also, so I used to work in a bridal shop and gave me the same fear that I used to feel in the PE changing
rooms at school. Is that whole thing of wondering whether girls were going to think that was predatory because I was a lesbian. So I felt uncomfortable. So you never told them? Yeah. So I never told anyone, any of the customers within this bridal shop that I was gay because I didn't want the women to think that I was stood in that changing room with them as a lesbian. And even though that sounds ridiculous, in my head, it's just hilarious.
Isn't it because like men really sexually assault women yet they believe a lesbian were to do it? And like statistically solution way solution, yes. But but I never told them because I I then felt really like guilty. I'd feel bad, like I didn't want to put them in an awkward position. Again, what's that? Internalised homophobia? Yeah, it. Was yeah, it was, but that's what I mean. But outside of this workplace, that was the outest and loudest
proud lesbian ever. So honestly, just this is the thing that doesn't make you any less. Gay, it doesn't make you any less proud. It doesn't make you any less strong. And this is this is what going back to what I was saying at the start, you know, mid of this conversation, why do you want to be out in the workplace? Ask yourself that. And if you don't feel it actually worth it?
To be out to a load of colleagues that you probably fucking hate, then don't do it. You know, and I absolutely agree with your point about setting a precedent and trailblazing. And OK, so there are masses of positives to doing it, but you also don't have to be that person if you don't want to trailblaze and be out, do that for other people. You don't. You don't have to be. Right. Does that mean you can't go and slap drop and she bar at the weekend?
No, you can still go and slap. You can go slap drop and she bar on a fucking Wednesday. Absolutely. There'll be no one in there, but you could do it. You know I'd be. Better off doing it when no one's in there to be fair. I think we all need to give ourselves a break as well of you know, we all preach about being out, being proud, but it's everyone's, it's your own journey. It's your own journey and everyone's on like that. You're on like a different path
of it as well. And you may feel like you're never going to have that strength, but believe me, you will. And that strength does come later on when you just accept yourself more and more and more and you see more people that look like you, that act like you, that are living a very similar life to you. We are humans of like comfort with things that are familiar, you know? So just listen to these dykes and hopefully we can make you feel better.
Moving on now to our Horror Story, which isn't actually as much of A Horror Story as usual, but I thought it was quite fitting to this episode. Freya, can you please do the honours my dear of reading this one? Yeah. Can you give it to me please baby? Here you go. Give it to me. I feel like we haven't ripped the shit out of each other that much in this one. What, in this episode? Yeah. Have you just forgotten the start where I literally told you that? You're a technological.
Killer. And you pretended as if I was like. Can I just say ever ever since we've had this argument with this guy, I've had a headache and it has not gone away. And my headaches have been better the last couple of days. No, but do you know what's even weirder? I had a dream that I took away Scarlett's illness that day. I had a really bad headache. You do say I'm a witch. And I've had it every day since and she's been fine. Ever since I've had a headache
mine. OK I'm not saying they've gone completely but I've been honestly genuinely debilitated for the last 9 weeks pretty much. And now we've got a fucking headache and it's all your fault. It probably is. And because let me tell you why I hang on to your panty thong all night long and like, hold your bum. I know you do. And I think I'm surging energy. I think so. Because you do say I'm a bit of
a witch. So. Maybe I am actually, quite literally transferring my negative headache energy onto you. I'm not going to apologise for it. I'm going to give you some. Endometriosis. Give me endometriosis. I will take, I will. Me and Freya talk about this all the time, about how we all
become accustomed to our pain. So Freya obviously suffers with endometriosis and I cannot for a second imagine how absolutely horrific that is. Like it pains me to know that someone I love so much has to suffer in that way. Baby. Because even when I go with. Your migraines. This is the thing, even when I get slight period pain and I know it's it's not even to a certain level of what it even touches the sides of what Freya experiences. It makes me feel horrific.
And as bad as it is, I'd probably take a migraine over severe period pain. But. You get used to it, yeah. Whereas you're saying when you get migraines, you say to me, how the fuck do you suffer like this every single day? And it is strange. It must be like a. Well I've got like a weird like neck issue as well. It's going on the almond, please. Pray it. No, no, I can't. Do you know that?
Me and Liv, because Liv spends a lot of time with us because of all the stuff that we have going on with the pod. Liv now has an elements list for Freya where every day she writes down Big Don's elements. And I'm actually you should. You should. Can you write in if you want me to post it on the story? Because God, when I tell you it is hilarious. It's hilarious and honestly grippy Socks for her. Yeah, I know.
Truly. Well, maybe it's just hard being me. I've always got something wrong with me. OK, shut the fuck up. Anyway, this is the horror, not Horror Story. But this is really interesting because, like, yeah, I'm going to let you know why, OK. Hey girls, the itchy jaw that's going on the elements list. Oh, it's not the itchy air, it's the itchy jaw. Because usually it's the itchy air, yeah. I have the most random situation of my whole life. I've always been a straight woman. Interesting.
I've never been with a woman, nor have I ever romantically wanted to be with one. But big on the butt here girls. Recently I met a girl from gym she's straight to and she was always saying from the start I would marry that girl and she's always been very flirty. I was always prude haha and laughed a lot of it off. But as time has gone on we've become closer. We'd be super flirty and jokly sent nudes on occasions. What? We have cuddled up a few times nothing else.
I think we are super fetching it when we are drinking. Question mark I don't know are you? The girl is proper flirty and has admittedly been open that she fancies me. We have both said that we are not looking for a lesbian relationship. I mean, well, it's going to be a relationship that's. A. That's a lesbian relationship. I don't know if this is toxic but why does it have to be a relationship? I feel at this point I'm just curious. I'm sorry, this one screams of
like internal. To the back. Girl, like no hate, but you need to do some self work here and read up on like the emotions that you're going through because I love what you're saying here. You know, you're not being outwardly like problematic, but you are being internally problematic the the things that you've said. Absolutely, She then says.
She has said she would rather have me in her life for the rest of her life than to ruin it but still at times has said that she does want me and will suppress things but I don't know what we are doing and no one will ever make a move. PS She has now started seeing a boy again. We both go to the same gym. It's a little community and small. I don't know why but I don't want to see her flirting. Please give me advice, is this odd? OK, let me break this down for
you guys. Can I just say problem #1 actually not problem number one. I'm a lesbian, right? I know I'm a lesbian. I don't ever see that changing, but I'm not saying it could. I understand that sexuality can be a journey and you know, it's, it's a spectrum. But very much right now, and since I've come out, I have been very much on the lesbian side. If I were to start having romantic and sexual feelings for a man, I would no longer be
identifying as a lesbian. OK, strictly, I would say that I was then predominantly maybe pansexual or bisexual if we were going to need to label it. I know a lot of people don't like labels. I do. I like my label. I like wearing my label. The fact she's opened this by saying I'm straight is problematic. I mean, it's screaming of me. Because you could say I'm questioning. Yeah, right. But she can't even say that. And this might she may not even realise that this is like a
thing. But then she also said I've never been with a woman, nor have I ever romantically wanted to be. But you have now. So it's really interesting, but let me just break it down for you guys. She has met a girl from the gym. This is a classic, like it really is. Gym is like a breeding ground for lesbians. They're very flirty. They send nudes to each other, but they put it on the premise of saying that it's jokey. I mean, to be fair, actually, I was about to say I've never done
that. I've done that. I do it to Liana, like, OK, like a random you, but it's so different. We're like Bros. Like these are two girls that have met together. And we sent pics to our friends all of the time in a piss taking way. It's very different and I know that the jokey way is not jokey. No, I used to do this with my first lesbian crush. Believe me to send this to you. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no. Or it would be like inconspicuous.
So you try and make out like it wasn't a nude, so you'd be. What was it like, you know? When you're like, oh, I'm in the bath and it would be like a slight side titty pic where it's like it could be oh, I'm in the bath, but deep down you want it to be I'm in the bath. And I know that she's sending stuff like, oh, look at this new underwear I got for going out on a date with a guy and like there's under boob or like the pussies in full. Like you don't send that to your
mate. Because actually, if you want to send underwear shots to your friends about new underwear you've bought, just fucking take a photo of it. Throw it on your bed. Yeah, Do you know what I mean? Like you're going out of your way to put it on and pose in a certain way. We see you girls? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. They cuddle as well which I think is. Just and again, that depends on the type of cuddle, right? It does if it's. I know they're cuddling in a very certain way.
Yeah, and you know, there's some stroking going on, like stroking of the arm stroking. And there's like I can. Feel the tension in their chest. I know. And the heavy breathing, like I'm thinking about it now, how I used to feel laying next to. When I but she says, but she says that she kind of wants to have her in her life. She does want her, but she suppresses her that either girl has said that, that she suppresses her feelings. So I think what's happening is that you're both suppressing
your feelings. Unfortunately, you're both very much in the same boat. It's a real problem, but. Girls, this is a this is a classic. This is a classic. Literally we fell in love with a straight woman episode, right We've and any lesbian listening to this now who's been through it, girls like back us up here.
It's the classic when you fall in love with your quote unquote straight best friend, which is the whole like we're soulmates and I'd rather choose us being platonic soulmates that over exploring this sexually. And you kind of convince yourself that, you know, the love that you feel is not lesbian love. It is what's it called? Twin flame? Like the one person, the platonic twin flame. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Deep down, let's be honest, you want to fuck? But also, yeah, you do.
But also why babe? Why are you scared about this being a relationship? Because you said but why does it have to be a relationship? Why? What truly like I? Actually, The thing is, she's not scared about it being a relationship. What she's scared is that they start having sex, right? And they start exploring the sexual tension there. She says. I think she. Then has to admit to herself that what she puts in the top of that conversation, which is straight, is it in capital
letters. No, no, no. Oh. OK. I thought she put it in capital letters. The emphasis on straight is no longer potentially A narrative that she can. Explore the only thing that I would say is that this the other girl, even though you said that she's just started seeing a boy, you know, I do believe that she's probably doing that overcompensation, overcompensate and also probably make you jealous in the gym because you said here that she says that she admittedly open.
She admittedly has been open and said that she fancies you. So I think that she's made the first move there and I don't know what your response was, but you said, we have both said that we're not looking for a lesbian relationship, darling. But she just said that she you cuddle, you send nudes, you want each other in your lives. Like honestly. You have to have a lesbian relationship like. You know what? It sounds like they both fancy
each other. Maybe they do want to do that, but I do think them having to jump straight to that is too much. Just have a bit of fun and explore and have an open conversation about the fact that you're clearly both adults. You have these, you know, sexual feelings for each other. Yeah, You can explore that and remain friends as long as you're both sensible adults having sensible. Conversations feels like a very safe conversation for you to have because it's already said
that she fancies you, right? So I think you can just say, look, I I've always believed that I was straight, but I have the. This is new territory. This is new territory for me. You're really interesting to me. I really, I, I find you really attractive and I'd love to be able to like explore that with you. I'm not putting a label on anything. I'm not saying that we should go dating.
But what I'm saying is is that I kind of, it would be nice to see what would happen here if we were a bit more open minded about it. Absolutely. And you know what, like I've, you know, I've tried to suppress my feelings as well. You told me that you were suppressing yours, but I've seen you flirting with this guy in the gym and it kind of breaks my heart a bit because we. Don't have to say it breaks not heart. You can just say you know. In the light hearted, yeah, it's
like. It's emphasised to me that this is something that I want to explore because seeing you as someone else is actually, you know, heightened. How And then maybe say, how would you feel? Like maybe say, how would you feel if I was flying with a guy in front of you? Well, this is the thing again, going back to my situation of when I was like, obsessed with my best friend for four years, we'd both do exactly the same
thing. We'd kind of spill too far into the emotional lesbian side of the friendship. Then we'd go out on a night out and use guys to make each other jealous. God it's so bad I actually wanted to die. I would too. Because I'd see her kissing men and I'd be like, I would drag my nipples across burning coal to be that stinky sweaty. Hairy ridden. Man yeah. Oh my God, the pain, girls. Why is that pain so bad? Oh, it's so bad. It actually makes sure.
Like it makes your vagina go up into your heart, like, you know what I mean? Like, you know that feeling? It's awful. So. But this is classic. This is the thing. You said I don't know, this is toxic. It is toxic. I think it is. I think it is. I think. It can be a bit fun, depends how long it goes on for, no? But what I'm saying is she's like, do you think that this is toxic? I think right now. If your feelings towards yourself are toxic.
Yes, that's what I mean. I think the way that you're treating this situation to yourself, it's toxic. It's toxic. You need to be kinder to yourself. You need to be more open with yourself before you're open with her. Yeah, because you need to accept that you fancy her a bit. This has never happened to you before. It could be completely nothing, but also you could have. You could explore something incredible and grow from your. Experience. What's that called?
By curious? By curious, Yeah. So no one, you know, you could explore this with this girl, have incredible sex for six weeks, decide that that's not for you and end up with a man and be with him for the rest of your life. No one is saying that you can't do that. No one is saying that you shouldn't do that. No one is saying that you're wrong for doing that. You could explore this with her. I genuinely don't think you've got anything to lose.
Also, because you've already got these feelings, so is she clearly then you know when she's like, Oh well, I don't want it to you're. Experiencing this with her, you will. If you don't explore this with this person, it will happen again in your life. Because if you're open to that, clearly more than what you realise, you will attract that again. And send her this podcast. Yeah.
And again, I'm not saying for a second that you aren't, you know, all of the things that you thought you were throughout your life. That's not saying that those things are a lie. You've just evolved and a situation has presented itself to you and go for it. I mean. That's for you, babe. Also, can I just say a lesbian relationship? It's fucking incredible, babe. So you know what, if you end up falling down that rabbit hole, so be it. Like it's. Not the worst.
It's not the worst. It ain't. It's that I would argue it's the best thing that will ever fucking happen to you in your life. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life, so. It's the best thing that continues to happen to me, except for when you drop your phone in SO. Annoying. No, I mean, we're here for you. I want to hear. I want to hear the update of this. Yeah, I do. I really want to hear the update. I want to know I might start going to your gym, can you tell
me where it is? I've got a feeling she's American. I I don't know where she's. Going let me read. I think the English because if she. Isn't American and she's in England. I think. I think English is her second language because she said saying a boy not seeing a boy. Said that I would say something like that because I actually type and can't be bothered to correct myself. But the advice from from us is like really what you have to lose?
OK, the opinions of maybe some of your friends that like are going to judge you if they're doing that, they're not your fucking friends. Maybe you're going to yeah, maybe you're going to lose some male attention. Who fucking cares? The girlies do it better. Like, OK, your family, you haven't mentioned anything. But you don't even have to go that far.
You don't need to go that far. You can just, like, start accepting those feelings for yourself, bring up that conversation in a really nice and open way, and then just see what happens. But we're here for you Every. Yeah. This community is amazing. You'll find support, you'll find people. And like, believe me, you are nowhere near alone. Because I reckon 90% of the people who are listening to this right now would have gone through exactly the same as you.
And the 10% who haven't gone through it in that way have gone through it in a very similar way. Exactly. And for our straight listeners as well, we do. We do love you too. Oh, we do. Love you. No, no, no. Yeah. I'm not saying that, no, no. I'm saying for the other percentage, Australia. The 0.0 guys, I do want to say one thing. What? Which I'm so happy we've got to this level. 90% of our audience from the lesbian supper club identify as female. Amazing. OK, trans, trans folk, non
binary folk. It's got nothing to do with you. I fucking love you. You're like welcome as much and if not more than anyone else. Yeah, yeah. But the men, the straight men to vanish. The fact that there's like only 10% of them I that feeds me. Yeah, I mean, like, don't get me wrong, I really like the fact that men listen to this pod, right? Because I think it's more like education. And I don't mean to sound patronising when I say that, but I mean exposure. How can you?
Possibly understand a society in which is so different you do need. Educated. Yeah. Yeah, for sure, yeah. But it's like I. Don't want to be educated on the strike straight white man's society because there's no, there's nothing benefiting me by understanding that. Books and tits and beer. I mean, we love all those things, true. There is a straight man deep down in the. Summer screaming to get out. He's called Hey. Yeah, we love you all, like all
of you that listen and support. You're all incredible. And I think our straight listeners are just as valuable to us as our queer listeners because, like, you're going off undoubtedly, and then taking some of these topics and having really important conversations. With your peers, Yeah, exactly. Like I love that. But before we go as well, we're going to be doing a small, very low key event in the very near future. Yeah. So when we know the details. Of eight weeks, probably we're.
Sending it out to you guys. Gonna be a ticketed event. There's probably gonna be only about 50 tickets, but before we get our little asses organising, can you let us know if you'll actually want to come? It would be like a supper club type event. We're going to get a hot DJ. Yeah, hot DJ, we already know some drinks, I know some drinks, some aperitivo. So. A really cool venue so if you're interested and want to do like a supper club event with us. Yeah, let us know. Go. Let's do this.
And there's also another really exciting thing that we've got coming up as well, which we can't tell. You, which you'll know very soon. But I'm screaming inside. Gaze. This is the epitome of the queer dream. Yeah, let's put it that way. What? Dream. Pussy pussy pussy. No I just want to finish one thing has anyone else seen on TikTok? Oh my God, that woman. Who duet the Billie Eilish song? The new one Go enjoyment.
I'm sad again. Don't tell my boyfriend if you don't know what we're going on about. Find out. Love you gays. I'm straight. Love you all love. You love you. I will speak to you next week.